“K-Kurt,” he said quietly before finally breaking eye contact with the boy and staring at his hands clasped in his lap. What was wrong with him?

      “Interesting name, Babe,” Blaine noted, shifting his seat a little closer to Kurt’s. Kurt finally registered how smooth the boy’s voice was and didn’t know if he liked the way it made his stomach flip over or not.

      Kurt didn’t respond, but his cheeks did flare up at the pet name and Blaine’s advance didn’t go unnoticed either.

      Suddenly, the smell of cigarette smoke invaded Kurt’s senses and he tried to stop himself from coughing. He’d hated the smell of cigarettes ever since— but he couldn’t think of that now. Not with so many people around. Don’t let it take control. Get away.

      Flinching subconsciously Kurt leaned away from Blaine slightly. He hated this feeling. Feeling like the walls were slowly surrounding him and choking the air from his lungs. The way his throat closed up and his leg started shaking. Kurt did his best to beat down the panic, but his anxiety only fueled the irrational terror. No. Please. Not here.

***

      “Deep breaths, Kurt,” Henry said warningly as he leaned forward toward Kurt.

      Kurt was breathing heavily and his mind was being transported somewhere else, away from the therapy office, back to two months ago. He fought it off as best he could, but flashes of it burst through.

      Kurt jerked when there was a hand on his arm and stood up quickly. “Don’t touch me!” Kurt yelled.

      Henry stayed seated, watching Kurt with concerned eyes. “Kurt,” he said quietly. “Just calm down, I didn’t touch you.”

      Kurt was panting now as if he’d run a mile, adrenaline thick in his veins, and he blinked before looking at where Henry was, too far away to have touched him. The touch was something he remembered.

      “Kurt, did that boy touch your arm that day?” Henry asked quietly.

      Nodding, Kurt sunk back down onto the couch slowly.

      “He touched my arm and was about to ask me a question,” Kurt said in a faraway voice as his heart slowed down slightly, thinking back to that moment again.

***

      It was too hot in that room, his forehead was getting damp with sweat and his heart was pounding loudly, the beat making itself heard in his ears. Not here.

      A strong hand reached over and touched Kurt’s bicep, not gripping it, but not just resting there either. It pushed Kurt over the edge. Run.

      Jumping up like he’d been shocked Kurt yelled shrilly, “Don’t touch me!” He couldn’t explain what was happening to himself, this was something completely new.

      Blaine moved his hand back quickly, putting both of them up in surrender, looking at Kurt with defensiveness and a spark of concern deep in his eyes.

      Kurt’s eyes locked on Blaine’s, but he wasn’t seeing the swirls of green and hazel before him. His eyes jumped frantically around the room once he realized there was an audience.

      The rest of the class had turned to look at the commotion. The primal instinct to run took Kurt over. Everyone was silent for a moment before Kurt hurriedly grabbed his bag and ran out of the room, tears stinging in his eyes.

      Ignoring the teachers yells for him to come back he ran down the hallway, trying to find some way out. He ran into a boy’s bathroom and then into one of the stalls before he sunk to the floor.

      He was sobbing silently, his arms wrapped around his knees and his face pressed down, trying to keep it all inside. Ghosts of emotions and touches haunted him and he couldn’t think straight. His ears were ringing slightly with the intensity of the attack and his knuckles turned white where he gripped at the fabric of his pants.

      Kurt was so out of it he didn’t realize that someone had followed him into the bathroom, he didn’t hear the door shut either.

      The soft knocking on the stall door was what caught his attention. The sharp sound startled him, making him let out a squeak of sound that could only be described as terrified.

      “Hey,” a voice said outside the stall. “I won’t… hurt you, you know.” The voice was timid, like it was testing the water, trying to figure out how deep his words were sinking.

      Blaine could hear a hiccup from the inside of the stall and knew Kurt was crying. He frowned in concern and annoyance. Blaine hated not understanding things, and he didn’t understand what was wrong with Kurt.

      “Can you open the door?” Blaine asked keeping his voice somewhat soft. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he was helping this boy. Or why he even wanted to help this boy. Something about him was different and he had to know what.

      Waiting patiently for some form of response he was surprised when the door swung back, opening just enough to reveal the prettiest boy Blaine had ever laid his eyes on. Even with the puffy, red eyes and the flushed cheeks he was stunning.

      “Why are you here?” Kurt asked quietly, his voice wavering, keeping his distance from Blaine.

      “I’m sorry if I upset you somehow,” Blaine said. “I didn’t realize you’d react that way.” Who hurt him so badly? Blaine wondered.

      Kurt took a staggering step back when he got another whiff of cigarette smoke. The back of his calf his the edge of the toilet seat and he had to reach a hand out to the wall to steady himself so he didn’t fall.

      “Are you okay?” Blaine asked worriedly, taking a step closer to him.

      “Don’t come any closer!” Kurt said fearfully, his voice climbing octaves. Not again. The words rang in his head like warning bells, his whole body ready to run at any moment.

      Blaine stepped back again his mind buzzing with confusion and curiosity.

      “I can’t-“ Kurt tried to start to explain, but stopped.

      “You can’t what?” Blaine asked.

      “Y-you smell like cigarette smoke and I can’t-“ Kurt cut off again finding it hard to speak as he fought off the flashbacks again.

      Realization flashed through Blaine and he hurriedly took multiple steps back until his back hit the opposite wall of the bathroom, far away from Kurt.

      Kurt moved out of the stall quickly trying to get away from the offensive smell and quickly walked to the sink, running the tap. He cupped the freezing water in his hands and bent his face down before splashing the water up and over his flushed cheeks.

      “I don’t usually smell like cigarettes, you know,” Blaine said keeping his distance from Kurt. He wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore, but he felt like he needed to explain this to Kurt.

      Kurt’s head shot up, his nose and chin dripping with water. “W-what?” Kurt asked not really registering what he’d said. He could feel his heart calming back down and was happy for it. Slowly, he was getting back to normal.

      “I don’t usually smell like cigarettes,” Blaine repeated. “I only smoke when I need it to calm down,” he elaborated.

      Kurt walked over to the paper towel dispenser and ripped apiece off before walking back to the mirror and patting away the water carefully.

      “Why do you…?” Blaine started to ask before realizing he didn’t really know what he was asking.

      Kurt finished soaking the water up and threw away the paper towel. He knew what the boy was asking, but he wasn’t going to answer him.

      “Your sister. She’s quite the character,” Kurt said as he took a deep, steadying breath. What he wouldn’t give just to be alone right then was a very short list.

      “You know my sister?” Blaine asked confused.

      “She’s in my first period,” Kurt said shortly before picking up his bag and standing there awkwardly for a moment.

      “Are you okay?”

      Kurt looked up at the boy slowly before his eyes dropped to the ground in embarrassment.

      “Thanks for…” Kurt trialed off not really sure he could think of something to thank the boy for.

      Walking toward the bathroom door he didn’t expect the boy to say anything else and he flinched when he took a step toward him.

      Blaine stopped after he took a step, “Where are you going?” he asked.

      “I’m going back to class.”

      “After what just happened?” Blaine frowned in confusion.

      “What’s wrong with that?” Kurt asked defensively, raising his head higher.

      “You can’t just go back to class, something is obviously wrong with you!” Blaine said earnestly.

      Flinching again Kurt took a step away from Blaine and closer to the door, “I’m fine.”

      Blaine didn’t believe that for a second.

      “I’d appreciate it if you… left me alone,” Kurt said stiffly.

      Blaine blinked and just stared at Kurt for a second. “What’s wrong with you?” Blaine asked quietly.

      “I’m fine,” Kurt insisted harshly. Then he was storming out of the bathroom before Blaine could even think to stop him.

      The drip drop of water from the sink was the only sound left in the bathroom once the door swung shut. Blaine stood there for a moment before exiting the bathroom and then slowly making his way to the football field, all the while humming under his breath.

Now that we've met

We can only laugh at these regrets

Common as a winter cold

They're telephone poles

They follow each other

One, after another, after another

But now my heart is green as weeds

Grown to outlive their season

And nothing comforts me the same

As my brave friend who says,

"I don't care if forever never comes

'Cause I'm holding out for that teenage feeling

I'm holding out for that teenage feeling"

All the loves we had

All we ever knew

Did they fill me with so many secrets

That keep me from loving you

'Cause it's hard, hard

***

      “Kurt, I think, at least for today, this is a good place to stop,” Henry said.

      Looking up at the clock Kurt was amazed to see that two hours had already past.

      “I’ll be coming back though, right?” Kurt asked anxiously.

      “Yes, my assistant will call your father and schedule the next appointment.”

      Kurt relaxed a little and nodded.

      “In the meantime, Kurt, I’m going to write a note to your doctor about a possible prescription that you could take that would help with your anxiety,” Dr. Dalton said.

      “Is it safe?” Kurt asked.

      “Yes, all it does is relax you a little more and the panic you feel when you’re triggered isn’t as extreme.” Henry wrote up the note before passing it over to Kurt.

      “Triggered?” Kurt asked picking up on the word.

      Henry sighed and nodded, “The cigarette smoke is what triggers your attacks. They are somehow part of your memory of the original attack you were a victim of and so whenever you smell that smoke you relive that horrific memory.”

      “Every time I smell smoke that will happen?” Kurt asked in a small voice.

      “That’s hard to tell, but for the moment, yes. But I wouldn’t worry about that too much, just be wary,” Henry said with a nod.

      “Okay,” Kurt said quietly before standing up.

      “Thank you,” Kurt said before heading to the door.

      “Oh, Kurt, just out of curiosity, what is Mr. Berry-Anderson’s first name?” Henry asked.

      Kurt turned when he was called. “Blaine,” he said. “His name is Blaine.” With that Kurt turned and walked out to the main room to text his dad to pick him up.