Blaine marveled at the rush of emotions he was able to have despite his exhausted condition. Everything felt so new, as if he had not been carrying these feelings around for several years. Kurt seemed so fragile in his arms, but he knew the reality was that they were both fragile. When Kurt asked if they could go ahead and sleep in the bed together, Blaine could only be relieved. He needed to be with Kurt as badly as Kurt needed to be with him. It simply was not an option to separate and have Kurt off in another room. He had to be touching Kurt, had to know this was real; he had to know this had happened. He started moving before he’d answered because he was so worn he couldn’t stand there debating it anymore in his head. “Come to bed now.” He told Kurt gently as he tugged him along. “We can sleep together, I don’t want to be without you either.” Then he was pulling Kurt into the bedroom and had to let go of him long enough to kick off his shoes, strip out of shirt and socks, and then he was tugging Kurt into the bed and collapsing against the pillows. Goodnight baby.” He whispered, and he kissed Kurt’s hand before drifting right off to sleep.

The next morning, Kurt blinked, willing the sleep to leave his eyes. He could feel his legs entwined with Blaine’s, his strong arms still wrapped over his waist. Kurt rolled over to his other side, ever so careful not to wake up a sleeping Blaine. He shifted so his face was inches away from Blaine’s. A small smile formed on his face at the sight of Blaine so close. He had never left. At around four that morning, Kurt had woken up startled, he had been terrified of waking up without Blaine next to him. What if last night had been nothing but a drunken escapade? They often did this, this cuddle and kiss. As much as Kurt didn’t want to admit it, there relationship had always had an intense level. There had always been tension, but both had unspokenly decided to ignore it. For this reason, the moment they drove through the tension, it was frightening. Kurt let out a quiet sigh, reaching out to stroke Blaine’s check. Please be real, please be real…He closed his eyes, and smiled as his fingers touched Blaine’s soft skin. “Thank you…” he whispered. He leaned forward and softly kissed his forehead, before slithering out of bed. He grabbed an old NYU t-shirt and walked into the kitchen. He was about to make some breakfast for the two, when he heard a lock in his door, and saw the doorknob turn than swing open. There stood Sam, walking into the apartment.

Blaine was gone, no dreams, no sense of anything. He was wiped. Nothing seemed to reach him. He did wake up one around five to find himself still tucked against Kurt, but that was all he needed to know before he drifted back off to sleep. Maybe had he not been drunk the night before he might have felt Kurt slip from the bed the next morning. Or he might have awoken to the alarming sound of a key in the lock. Living in New York had given Blaine incredible reflexes for the most part, but no today. Today he was blissed out and hearing nothing as Sam entered the apartment just steps from Kurt’s bedroom.

Kurt dropped the spatula he had in his hand, digging around in his kitchen, trying to find everything he needed to make Blaine pancakes, with an extra dash of vanilla, just how he liked them. “Sammy…?” He said, turning around the face the blonde. “What…what are you doing here?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He bit the inside of his check, knowing that he was making himself guiltier than he was. Guiltier than he was? He cheated on Sam. Twice. In one night. He sighed and stepped towards Sam. “Hey babe,” the blonde said, he stepped forward, prepared to give Kurt a hug, but he froze, looking into the open room behind him. There was unmistakably a bush of messy, curly hair sticking out from a pile of covers in Kurt’s bed. “Fuck you,” he said, stepping back from Kurt, immediately putting two and two together. He didn’t care who it was or what went down. Kurt had cheated on him. Kurt closed his eyes and bit his lip, he really hadn’t wanted to have this conversation like this. “Sammy, please. Just..hear me out.” Sam shook his head, and started to gather his things, throwing his coat back on.”Forget it Kurt. God, I gave up everything for you.” Kurt froze, stunned by his words and as he threw the key to Kurt’s apartment that Kurt had given him, onto the floor. Kurt covered his face, his hangover headache now coming full swing. His heart was racing and thoughts were stinging through his brain. “Sam….” was all he could say, as the blonde stormed off. Kurt reached out, taking the wall, and trying to steady himself. He felt sick, this was too much. He should have done this in another way. He felt sick…. Finally, he found himself over the toilet bowl, emptying the alcohol in his stomach.

Blaine woke up to Sam saying, fuck you, to Kurt. He lay stock still under the covers just listening to things fall apart. He really didn’t have too many options. It wasn’t out of cowardice it was more out of respect for Kurt. Anything he said or did during those few moment would take away from whatever Kurt was gin to say or do, so he just let Kurt face it alone. The moment the door was shut and Kurt was racing to the bathroom, Blaine was with him, one hand on his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach. Blaine tried to come across as soothing but the truth was he felt a little sick himself. It’s not as if this was a victory for either of them. Obviously Blaine wanted to be with Kurt but he’d thought Kurt would have time to end things with Sam in any way other than this. He was also aware that part of why this had been so terrible this morning was because he was selfish. He should have slept on the damned couch. “Oh baby.” He said softly as he got up to get a washcloth wet for Kurt. “I wish like crazy that had not just happened that way. Blaine handed the washcloth over and something occurred to him. Something he’d rather not say aloud. “Do you need some time alone?”

Kurt’s head was pounding and his stomach was way too queasy for comfort. “Fuck,” he murmured to himself, after thanking Blaine and taking the washcloth from him. He whipped his face, than covered his face with his head, hanging his head, his forehead lightly resting against Blaine’s chest. Everything was happening much too fast. It hadn’t been more than twenty four hours ago that he had woken up next to Sam, the two walking hand in hand to class and now? He’d probably never be able to look him in the eye without guilt consuming him. More so, he felt terrible for what Blaine must be going through. Kurt had just told him he loved him, they had both gone out of their comfort zone to be there for each other, and now, Kurt could feel himself shutting down. He was one of those people that always followed his heart, sometimes to the point of not being able to think through the consequences. When things worked out poorly, he broke down, the guilt causing him to push everything away. The last thing he wanted to do was be away from Blaine, but he knew that the pounding in his head would not decrease if he didn’t give himself to stop and realize what he had just done. He felt himself stand up, backing away from Blaine. He finally nodded at Blaine’s question. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his lip quivering. The guilt was now intensifying as he thought of what Blaine must be thinking. “I just…I need a moment,” he said, backing out of the bathroom. He headed into his studio, and shut the screen doors behind him, sitting down on the green carpet, holding his head in his arms. What had he done?

There was a moment when Blaine hoped that Kurt would not need to take some time; that he would be okay that all of the selfish mean things Blaine was thinking were really okay and he and Kurt were going to be great. That moment passed very quickly as Kurt pressed into him and whispered softly. He did need time. Of course he did, he was only human after all. Blaine nodded slowly trying to decide the best way to handle things. He was going to say okay or something else supportive but Kurt was backing away and leaving. He actually shut himself away in another room. Blaine walked out a stood in the living room for a moment, thinking. It was still very early, too early for work and today he had no class. So he just grabbed his phone, his wallet, and threw on his clothes. With one last look at the closed screen doors, Blaine was out of the apartment walking in the cool morning air and trying not to over analyze the situation. E would get some coffee and sit around until his shift. If Kurt needed him for some strange reason, he could call. Blaine rubbed the heel of his hand stubbornly against his eye as if to force back any tears that would threaten him now.

Kurt heard the front door to the apartment open and close, knowing Blaine had left. Kurt crept out of the studio and stared emotionless after him. He bit his lip, causing himself to draw blood, but he didn’t pay attention. What was he doing? He loved Blaine, and yet he was pushing him away. All he wanted to do was run after him, chasing after the boy down the hall, grab his hand and ask him to never go. But that thought scared him. Kurt didn’t know why he was being so hesitant; Blaine had been nothing but a perfect gentleman through all of this, and throughout their whole friendship at that. But this was all so complicated. Kurt’s feelings were clear; he loved Blaine, there was no question about it, but Sam…Sam had given everything up for Kurt, following him to New York. Kurt slammed his fist against the far wall, causing it to shake, a few photos fell from the wall onto the carpet and broke. One of them was the picture of Sam, wearing an Avatar shirt and Kurt kissing his check. Kurt crouched down onto the carpet looking at the photo. He knew this was a sign…. After cleaning up the photo album, he began to sweep through the apartment, collecting everything of Sam’s, and packing it up neatly into a box, with a letter and a charm bracelet he had gotten him for his upcoming birthday. Then, using his home phone, thank god for it, seeing as he no longer had a cell phone, he left a voice mail for Sam about his things, hoping they could talk. The next, and most important thing to deal with next was Blaine. Kurt grabbed his ipod and decided to take a walk to the coffee shop he knew Blaine would be at. He turned on Mumford and the Sons’ Little Lion Man, and tried not to tear up over how perfect it was. Kurt had been risky, he knew how Blaine felt about him, or at least had an idea. Kurt should have been more careful. He clenched his fist, which caused the swelling from punching the wall to worsen. Finally, he arrived at the coffee house.

Blaine sat around the coffee house reading this week’s assignment in music theory and indulging in entirely too many espressos until his shift at 12pm. Then he slipped on his apron and got to work. He tried not to think about Kurt and Sam because every time he did he would imagine all the scenarios where he was left out and Kurt and Sam reconciled. It’s not that Blaine thought that Kurt was a liar or was in some other way misleading, but he knew that Kurt was kindhearted and loved Sam. He might feel too much guilt over what had happened with Blaine and he might seek to make up with Sam. Of course then they would have makeup sex and the deal would be sealed so to speak. Blaine could not think about these things because the ideas were eating away at his insides. Instead he simply bent to the task at hand and served the good people their coffee; until he saw Kurt walk in the door.