Obviously, Kurt shouldn’t have thought that his dreams would help him, because they were obviously just looking forward to causing him more trouble.

Even before he actually did it, he knew that kissing Handsome was one of the things he loved doing the most because only dreaming about it made him hard. And who could blame him? Handsome was a lip-biter, tongue-sucker, moan-causer, especially when all of those things would ultimately make Kurt whimper underneath him as he pressed his body into the mattress, Handsome’s hands running up and down his naked sides as he kissed his way down his bare chest before moving down to fumble with the zipper of Kurt’s jeans. 

“Do you know how hot it is?” Handsome said in that husky, rough voice that made Kurt’s bones tremble. “To see you desperate like this—desperate for me to fuck you?”

“God dammit, Blaine,” Kurt gasped, his nails digging into Handsome’s scalp. “Forget the stupid foreplay and just get on with it.”

“So desperate,” Handsome mumbled with a smirk—a smirk, the bastard—against what was revealed of Kurt’s briefs from the open zipper. Kurt felt like he was going to convulse right then if Handsome didn’t just fuck him already, and suddenly Handsome was yanking Kurt’s jeans down with such a rush, his mouth leaving tiny, quick teasing kisses up his legs, his thighs, as his hands grabbed the waistband of Kurt’s briefs, and…

Kurt’s eyes snapped open, his forehead soaked in little beads of sweat. He ran a hand across his face, his fingers threading through his hair. How was he supposed to stay away from Handsome if he was the only thing Kurt dreamed about? And not to make matters worse, but every freaking dream that involved kissing (and more) left him with a stupid, very embarrassing boner. Kurt sighed loudly through his nose and rested his forehead on his arms. I am so screwed. He got out of bed and left his room, a cold shower in his very near future.

 After he cooled himself off, and took care of his problem, he stood across the hall from Rachel’s bedroom. She’s going to be so disappointed in you. He took a deep breath before opening her door, creeping in quietly. He had to tell her. He had to talk about it. He just had to tell her.  As he climbed into her bed he whined, “Racheeeeeeeel.” When she didn’t respond he shook her slightly, whining again. “Racheeeeelll.”

“Mmmwhat?” She groaned, throwing her hand towards him, trying to push him.

“Rachel I need to talk to you.” He pushed her hand back.

“You realize we live together and there are hours when I’m not sleeping that we could talk about your dreams?” She tried pushing him again, her hand grazed his hair. “Oh! Why are you wet? Did you take a shower?” She asked in the darkness, no answer being spoken. “Oh, Kurt. Gross. You have a boner dream and then come talk to me?”

Kurt chuckled slightly. “Sh, just listen before I decide not to tell you. It’s not about the dreams…well completely.”

“Whaaat?” She whined into her pillow. “Do I even want to know?”

“I kissed him.” Kurt whispered, looking down, ashamed.

It was quiet for a moment, while Rachel slowly sat up. It wasn’t a shocked quiet, it was like she knew-or even expected-it. He could feel Rachel’s body sighing in disappointment. “Kurt…” Her voice sounded exactly like he knew it would.

“I know.” He whispered again. “But we were sitting there, having wine and he was talking about his class and his face was….his voice was…he was…he was just him and before I knew it, he was kissing me back.”

“Oh my god.” She shook her head, in the soft moonlight Kurt could make out her hand against her forehead. “I knew it, I knew when I came home and asked how it went. I knew you weren’t telling me something.”

Tears started welling up in his eyes as he whined, “Rachel, please don’t hate me.”

She quickly turned her head to him. “Oh, baby, no. Come here.”

Kurt laid his head down on her lap, sniffling. Rachel started running her fingers through his hair while rubbing his arm soothingly with her other hand. “I could never hate you.”

“But you’re disappointed in me.”

“I’m disappointed in what you did. But, honey, you’re only human. You make mistakes.”

“My dreams aren’t helping.”

“Do you ever not dream of him?”

“Five out of seven nights.”

“Oh my.” She said.  “That’s so bizarre.”

“I know.” He whispered.

“Maybe…” Rachel started.

“What?”

“No, never mind.” She shook her head. “You need to distance yourself from him. I’m not saying not be his friend at all, but if you can’t control yourself…”

Kurt let out a deep sigh. “I know.”

“Remember Finn?” Rachel said.

Kurt knew it. Kurt knew that sooner or later, Finn was going to be brought up. He wanted to avoid it, he wanted to so bad. Because he knew how it would feel. And hearing Rachel ask that felt worse than he had imagined. Finn was Rachel’s high school sweetheart. They had planned to get married after high school, they were so in love it was sickening. But senior year, right before graduation, Rachel found out he had been cheating on her for six months with a girl he worked with. Kurt would never forget the haunting sound of his poor best friend crying herself to sleep, or the zombie-like way she’d walk through the hallways those last weeks at McKinley. He knew that was the undertone of ever ‘be careful’ and of every look she had given him. She knew that he didn’t want to be the one to cause that pain.. “Of course I remember Finn.” He sat up, looking down at his hands.

“I’m only thinking of you, you know. You’re not the kind of person who could handle causing someone else pain. I know it’s hard, because you are so drawn to him. But it’ll be okay. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. Just back off a bit and let it fall into place.”

Kurt just nodded. Rachel looked at him for a minute before sinking back down into the covers. “Come on, let’s go to sleep. Maybe you’ll feel better in the morning.” She faced him, patting the bed. “Come on.”

He sighed, sliding into the covers next to her, snuggling close. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Rachel Berry.”

She smiled slightly. “I love you, Kurt.”

“Ditto.”