Chapter 9

Kurt was a lake that reflected the light of the high noon sun, solid and bright but not allowing the viewer to see how deep he was. Kurt was the forest behind the lake, lush in its needle and leave covered trees and bushes, external beauty, promising a captivating view with the peaks of what lay behind it and still allowing no look behind the first glance. He was the clear sky, a single white cloud almost escaping the view as he was changing over time. Kurt was the flightless birds, the rippling water, the opening sunflowers and the green grass at the edge of the woods.

Blaine felt his hand tremble at the last strokes, knuckles covered in paint and breath held as he finished painting Kurt. He didn´t feel the heaviness of creating art until it left his body when he was finally finished. The brush dropped onto the floor and he stood up on weak knees. His eyes feverishly scanned the picture as he drew in hasty breath after breath. Bringing Kurt onto canvas could never do him justice, because soon Kurt couldn´t be held down in this moment any longer. He would fly away, bloom and turn into a river and Blaine would have to draw him anew. But for now, he felt like having captured this Kurt.

X

This time the taste and touch of Blaine was washed away under the ruthless hands of a man that was currently twisting Kurt´s arms behind his back while he drove his cock into him. Around the cotton of the pillow, Kurt tried to breathe as he was shoved further into it whenever the man buried himself deep within him. He wished it were his ears covered instead of his face whenever the big man spoke up.

“Such an innocent little b-boy, taking me so very well. Such a good baby for your Daddy.”
Kurt whimpered gracelessly when the man shortly brushed his prostate. A few months ago that feeling had been almost foreign because many men did not intent to pleasure a slut and Hunter always punished him by hitting and then avoiding it.

“Is that new to you, baby?” The man panted out.”Shh. Don´t be afraid of feeling this. Your daddy takes good care of you and won´t ever harm you. What we do here is tota-totally normal, so just relax and let me make you feel good.”

Along with the words came memories better left deeply under lock, but they crawled up nonetheless. Memories of the first time Hunter had touched him. Kurt remembered it being a mild spring night, as he had shivered in the too short clothes provided by Hunter. It had been a month and some since they had been allowed to stay in a tiny apartment in the hotel Hunter owned. Finn had been sound asleep. Hunter and him had stayed up watching TV and Kurt had not paid mind to Hunter suddenly coming close enough to let their bodies brush. He did jerk away though when a hand settled onto his knee but calmed down when he noticed Hunter still engrossed with the running program. When the hand returned he let it be until he felt it creep upward.

“Hunter?” He asked, voice thin.
Hunter´s hand did not stop until it was placed on Kurt´s private parts.”Shh,Kurt. Don´t wake your brother You know how difficult it is to get him to fall back asleep again.”

His body was rigid until the hand started slowly messaging his lower body. Then he moved, limbs crashing against Hunter´s body now towering above him but swiftly he was held in place by a strong arm pressing against his rib cage.
“Don´t fight me on this. You will like it.” Wet breath met Kurt´s ear.”I will take care of you both from now on and you are going to repay me. As I said, you´ll feel good as well so it won´t be very bad.”
“No.” Kurt whispered back. He knew what Hunter was planning to do or at least his younger self had the right idea. It felt weird and e needed it to stop.

“Now, now, you wouldn´t want Finn to go back to Mr. and Mrs. Hudson in  Southern New Jersey again, would you?”

Kurt froze with hearing his secrets spread out. His fright must have been apparent in his eyes because Hunter´s smile widened.”How-?”
“Oh, sweet, innocent, little Kurt. I can find out anything. I know for a fact that they desperately want your little angel back to punish him for running away while they make you watch. I am sure they will finally start punishing you too because you dared to take their punching bag away.” Kurt fought but he had no chance against the man in his twenties, holding him down.”And this is why you truly run away, isn´t it, Kurt? Not because you feared for your brother, but because you were scared they´d start treating you the same. You are a selfish little slut pretending to be a saint.”

“N-N-no, please.”

His private parts felt funny when Hunter stroked them through his shorts but he clenched his mouth against the noises from his body. His struggle ended when fear, cold and harsh, gripped his body in its iron fists.
“Don´t worry. I think you have potential and I am going to let it bloom. Just let me take care of everything.”

That night Kurt had been a good boy. Not making a single sound, even as tears had run down his cheeks while his body was being wrapped in ropes and his naked body was being touched by Hunter. He had assumed that this was sex, that he was no longer a virgin, when the man had forced himself into him.

He had kept himself together as he had been broken.

The nonsense now being mumbled as he was fucked did not come close to that first memory. The words just prattled off on his body until the man was spent and then paid up before returning to his life. Kurt only hoped he wasn´t really a Dad that liked making ´his boy feel good´. Not that he could change anything if that was the case. He felt like he needed a check of reality after spending all this time with Blaine.

Kurt was a slut, a prostitute whose life was dictated by other men. Men like Hunter.

His legs only slightly wobbled as he stood up from his bed and put on a crop top made of black fishnet and silver leather shorts. They were Hunter´s favorite and right now he was aiming to impress. Two hours from now, Finn would turn 12 and Kurt would need more time than that to protect his brother. That was the only reason, he told himself again, as his mind wandered back to the side effect being more time spent with Blaine.

On the way to Hunter´s office he already spotted Rachel dressed in a light blue baby doll dress and red ribbons in her Dorothy-esque hair from afar and shook his head. She stood in front of Hunter´s door, a pout on her face he only saw when he was close enough. One would think it not being annoying to see someone willingly suck up to his boss after years but it still made Kurt´s gag reflex kick in.

She gave him a bitchy glare he returned before saying,”Hunter´s occupied at the moment so you just have to wait your turn. Which is way after mine so you might as well tiptoe back into your den.”

Hunter had said he wanted to train the brat out of Kurt so that´s what Kurt would have to give him the chance to do. Driving her mad was a nice byproduct, of course. The outcry from The Bitch was ignored as he barged in and walked up to his boss ´desk. Witnessing Hunter being blown would not have fazed Kurt at any other day, with any other person than the unfamiliar young boy crying and gagging as his mouth was fucked. He could be no older than Finn, possibly even younger since his body appeared fragile and tiny with Hunter towering above him. The boy´s brown hair hung limply over his pale forehead while his skin against the black ropes shone pale. Other than that his body was bare.

Kurt bit his lip, stepping back while conflicting emotions battled for attention. Another flashback was right around the corner because this was him on his knees, sucking cock.  Or it might as well have been because the similarities did not even stop at the boy´s eye color. Kurt felt sick with the sight of himself- no of another young boy. And the emotion he wanted so badly to suppress was jealousy that it wasn´t him kneeling.

“Kurt!” Hunter cooed, not the least bit out of breath which made him feel a twisted sense of joy.”Meet your replacement Caleb.”

Caleb opened his eyes, trying to pear at him, simultaneously trying to hide his body in the ropes binding him. It made him appear even smaller and Kurt´s heart clenched. This was not the time to be jealous for being replaced, not when someone needed help.

“It´s highly unlikely he has had enough training to know how to please you. So maybe you should send the kid out and we can have a great time.”

Hunter  sat down, leaning into his seat before guiding the mouth back to his erection. His hand held Caleb's head against his lower body until . “Someone´s eager today. Why is that? Ready to regain your title, Lucky?”

Kurt grimaced before getting on his knees in front of his boss, shoving Caleb with his shoulder until the boy crashed right into the carpet. It was an act of mercy and Caleb seemed to understand that because he scrambled away as fast as he could to escape Hunter´s arms recapturing him.

“Now you just displease me.” Hunter growled and tugged lightly on his condom.”Up on my lap and make up for it. Rachel, lead Caleb out and return to your apartment. You are going to have a visitor soon anyway.”

“But-“ Rachel protested, cutting herself off as Hunter moaned because Kurt sunk down onto his dick.

The urge to smirk at her because he had won Hunter´s affection while she had to get lost wore off quickly. Instead he was met with pain as his body was mercilessly driven into the desk by Hunter and the only thing he could do was take it. In moment like those he craved the drugs. At least they would have made him feel better and no thoughts of doubt hatred and satisfaction remained,.

“Squeeze tighter. That is not how I trained you!” Kurt complied, knowing he get Hunter off faster that way. His flaccid cock was luckily ignored in favor off doing it quick and for Hunter´s pleasure only, which was fine with Kurt. The pain was better than the anguishing shame over having enjoyed this. Soon enough it was over but his boss held him close, nails biting into Kurt´s back until he felt wetness trickle down his skin.

 “What is it now? And don´t bore me, I am not in the mood.” Kurt bit back a scream when the nails racked down his body.

”I wanted to ask for a day off tomorrow.” He panted out between kisses .”The whole day plus night and I could make up for it with overtime for the rest of the week.”

The chuckle he heard and felt bode no good and he was lucky he brazed himself before he was lifted and crushed against the tabletop. Lightning stroke in front of his eyes as he watched paper sail through the air above him. He tried and failed to breathe in.

“I warned you not to bore me.”

 “One day, please.” Kurt attempted to encourage Hunter by touching his cock.”You´ll get 80 percent of I´ll make on that day. He ordered me to be there for a long scene.”

That seemed to draw Hunter´s attention at last and he finally let Kurt ease him back into being touched and stroked again. Whenever Blaine smiled, his eyes lit up and wrinkles appeared near his eyes and nose, causing Kurt to feel heat spreading in his stomach. The opposite was the case when Hunter´s eyes stayed cold and unfeeling while his mouth shaped into the resemblance of a smile that promised pain.

“Karofsky booked you and I want twice of what he pays if I allow you to live out that pervert´s fantasies tomorrow.” Cold hands squeezed roughly into Kurt´s windpipe, making it hard to breathe.”And now, I need to start your training to get rid off your nasty little habit of trying to manipulate me.”X

When Kurt returned to the apartment hours later his muscles felt like strings pulled too tight. As if they´d snap and add to the welts and red marks on his skin if he moved too much. There´d be no point in having sex with Blaine now that he was marked and somehow he did not feel as relived as he was accustomed to. Something essential had changed but he did not dare to dwell on it. He´d rather do what felt familiar. Set on a bright smile, switch his skimpy clothes for decent ones that also helped hiding his body and act like the evening before Finn´s birthday was a day he did not feel like shaking and vomiting in fright.

Kurt had it all planned out and yet his plans fell flat when he entered the apartment to find Finn playing videogames with another boy. The smile disappeared, his shoulders hunched and his fists tightened until his skin draped taut over his knuckled before he could help himself. It only lasted for a second because years of training helped him slip back into the façade as soon as Finn spotted him.

“Hey, who is your friend?” Kurt asked even though he knew all too well who the boy was. He had seen him on his knees, sucking cock just hours prior.

“Kurt, meet Caleb. He lives in the complex now, just two floors below ours. Finally someone –“ He broke off, mumbling made up curse-words as his character fought a zombie while Finn smashed the keys.”Someone my age.”

While his brother was submerged in the video game, Caleb and Kurt held a silent conversation just by exchanging looks. There was no doubt that Caleb was scared, begging Kurt not to expose him. Up close, Kurt could see that they were not that similar at all. Caleb´s hair was much darker and longer, his eyes more green than blue, his skin lightly tanned and his features softer with youth. They only shared the same destiny it seemed and jealousy was replaced with worry.
What if Caleb was the one who would let something slip to Finn? What if he dragged him down into the world of prostitution and drugs that Kurt so desperately fought to keep him from? Even darker thoughts whispered that Caleb would want to try and keep Finn to himself, take over and replace him not only in business but also as part of their little family.

They started quietly but soon turned over and over, twisting until Kurt blurted out, “Great, but we´ll have dinner soon. I think it´s better if Caleb leaves.”

Finn´s character died on the screen because his brother turned to him, mouth agape.”Can´t he stay and eat with us?”

“I am sure Caleb isn´t hungry right now and we´ll still have a long evening ahead of us, remember?”

“I think he can speak for himself.” Finn said with a raised voice.”Do you want to eat with us? Kurt is a better cook than he is a host, promise.”

Kurt never found out if his intimidation had worked because Caleb didn´t need persuasion to decline the offer. He was already out of his seat and walking out while saying, “Another time, bro.”

He bristled at the last word, only relaxing when Caleb had left the place that had been corrupted to many times in the recent past. Why couldn´t they just leave them be? They had enough trouble just being around each other because of Kurt as it was.

The well planned evening did start off with brooding silence, finally broken with Finn´s squeal as he realized that Kurt made his favorite food for dinner. Two stacks of pancakes gone in the matter of minutes and from there on the pre-birthday schedule was kept. A horror-movie, chosen by Finn since that was the only time of the year he was allowed to see something not appropriate for his age, then cartoons to wash away the remaining fear before it was moments to midnight. It was 2 minutes before Finn´s birthday began when they shut down all the lights until the only things illuminating the living area were the two candles sticking out of the giant muffins on the table.

It was a custom they had created back when they had nothing and when the only thing Kurt was capable of giving Finn were a self-made muffin and a candle to make a wish on his birthday. A wish for a birthday spent with a better family and presents and more than a single room with two bunks. When Finn had turned eight he had insisted on Kurt having a muffin and a wish as well and more customs had been added when Kurt had received money for his work.

Now, years later, they were still seated in front of two blueberry muffins, waiting for the seconds to tick to midnight. Kurt watched his brother who intently stared at the flame, back at the clock and then again to the flame until he finally screeched, disturbing the night, “It´s my birthday!”

A chuckle shook his bruised body, the pain barely noticed, because Finn´s eagerness held no limits. He softly pushed Finn´s muffin closer to him.

“Make a wish, buddy.”

“I thought about it long and hard,” Finn started saying, before putting his own muffin next to Kurt´s.”, and I want you to have my wish as well. I don´t need it as much.”

Kurt frowned and leant back against the backrest of his chair.”But it´s your birthday.”

“And I have got everything I wish for. Well except for a Nerf gun but I may have peaked and found one for my birthday so that is taken care of.” He smiled sheepishly.”I am already happy, so you go ahead and wish for some happiness for you as well.”

Kurt hesitated, hovering over the pastries, before closing his eyes and blowing out all the air he had left in his lungs. Exhaling all that was wrong with the world, hoping for a better life. That night his first wish, as always, was the well-being of Finn, that none of his secrets would be exposed and that he´d escape. His second wish, a fleeting thought to quick to get a hold off before he could ban it, was to become happy. Whatever his happiness entailed, because he knew that it was no longer just Finn he pinned it on.

X

His very last resort was to steal the blanket that Finn held so dearly onto. Prior to that he had knocked on the door, tried to wake him by speaking loudly and by poking him. Only the last was successful because his brother immediately curled up against the cold and squinted one eye open to peer at Kurt. Whatever he mumbled next was unintelligible but at least he was conscious.

“Wake up, birthdayboy. I recall you creating a tradition you now need to follow through.”

Finn´s answer was half-choked by the pillow he smashed his face into, “Do I really have to?”

“It´s your birthday and you want to get the great presents I got you and you know the only way to do that is by…“

Finn nodded, slowly sitting up now that the mention of presents had him alert enough to try and get it over with. His voice was croaky with sleep and vocal change and his dancing was getting worse by year as his limbs grew longer but overall he managed to sing the whole birthday song before he plopped back down onto his bed.

“Happy birthday to you.” Kurt ended, clapping eagerly.

It hadn't been his idea to sing himself his own birthday song but the year Finn had had angina, he had insisted that someone at least sing the song and nobody else did. The shuffling dance had been added over the years and neither would receive presents without this routine. They were lucky that at least Christmas did not entail a similar procedure.

Once the presents were unwrapped, or torn to use a more accurate description, Kurt let himself indulge in the minutes of pure happiness he had made Finn feel. It was as close to happy Kurt could feel as well. That was why he only broke the mood when they were once again eating pancakes in the kitchen a blissful hour later.

“Today I thought we could go to that pizza place you love, then do something in the city and top it with a few rounds in the ice rink?”

When Finn didn´t swallow before replying, Kurt let it be.”Awesome. Can Puck and Lauren come?”

“Actually I was planning to have let you have a small party with friends by the end of the week.” He had hoped to be interrupted but needed to continue speaking when Finn just nodded and kept on devouring his breakfast.”Today, if that is okay with you, I´d like to introduce you to-“He hesitated.”,my boyfriend Blaine.”

The cutlery met the plate with loud clatter while Finn´s mouth fell open at the same time. It made Kurt want to retreat on his plan, before he took a closer, more rational look and realized that Finn was just surprised, not shocked. He actually started to grin soon after.

“So, you´re gay?” Finn wanted to know. He nodded in reply, not wanting to go into details about things he never figured our himself.

Kurt then went on to tell his brother everything he could, giving warnings and information necessary to describe Blaine´s and his relationship, which was again just a bunch of lies, ready to topple off the heap of non-truth. More often than not he had to explain why he lied to Blaine about his social status but by the end of it, while Finn still looked disapproving, he did not inquire more about the situation which was well enough.

“Is …is it really okay for you to meet him?”

Finn halted in his motion of rubbing nutella from his cheek. His teeth while he smiled were smeared with chocolate.”I´ve been waiting for you to let someone else in. And I would love to meet the person who managed that”

“I thought you and me against the world?” Kurt asked.

“I´d rather see you happy.”

X

“So? What´s the verdict?”
Blaine grinned broadly as his friend Wes approached him in the gallery. They had known each other since high school and their devotion to art kept the bond strong, even now when former friend´s had chosen paths that lead them to separate. With them it was different. Wes owned the gallery they were currently standing in and Blaine had not come here to critique the art Wes had chosen, but to provide moral support. They had learned their lesson when Blaine wrote a critique that Wes thought was harsh, while Blaine was offended of his friend´s accusation and thus it had led them to never let their work interfere with their friendship. Still, Blaine gladly served as an advisor of sorts.

“There are some truly magnificent pieces on display. I am quite fond of Frey´s photographs but they are so unlike you. What made you chose them and put them between the pop art?”

Wes grinned, clapping Blaine on the shoulder and leading him around the huge gallery. “Well, I thought it was time to set a new pace to this. I feel like I´ve been stuck a bit and watching you go through all these changes made me wonder.”

“Early on midlife crisis?”
“Careful, we are just separated by a single year. If it hits me it will hit you as well.” Wes said.

“Oh, I highly doubt that. Kurt´s love will keep me fresh and peachy for eternity.” Blaine poked Wes´ stomach.”That brings attention to the fact that you are still single since the grand break-up with Justine. It´s high time that that changes.”

It rendered Wes speechless before his mood turned somber.”That is actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Great because I met this woman at another gallery and I know she would be-“

“Not about my love life. I know how to handle that myself, thank you very much.”Wes interrupted him. His voice was set in a careful tone when he said, ”It´s Kurt I wanted to talk about.”

Instantly Blaine´s eyes softened at the mention of that name, though Wes´tone made him wary.”Last time you told me to stop when I started talking about how amazing Kurt is and now you want me to continue? I hope you know that in no case I´d allow you to become infatuated with him. Not even for the sake of your curiosity towards the same sex.”

He expected a laugh or a smile at least but Wes remained serious, which in turn downright worried Blaine. They would always banter and if they were not, something was seriously wrong. Wrong with Kurt? Blaine was not stupid, he knew no one was flawless, but love often acted as a great deflective.

“You remember telling me about some of your money disappearing from your place?” Wes wrung his hands.”Before you get angry, I am not saying it was Kurt but maybe you should be open to at least consider him.”

“I can´t believe you.” People turned around then, wanting to know who had been yelling, which led Blaine to give them an apologetic smile before continuing his rant a bit quiter.”Why would it have been Kurt?”

“Who else was in your apartment lately?”

“You! And I am not assuming it was you either because I trust you. The same way I trust my boyfriend.” Blaine said, calmer now but a scowl was still settled on his face and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.”By the way, Kurt wouldn´t need my money so that´s a pointless accusation.”

“From what you´ve been telling me, you have been paying for everything.”

“Yes, because that is what a gentleman does. He insisted on paying on several occasions but you know that I like to take care of people.”

Wes heaved a loud sigh, now irritated as well.”Alright.”

“Is that conversation over?”

“Yes.” Wes answered.

“Great because I feel like having a drink now and you should too.”

Once the wine warmed up his body and cleared the awkward mood, Blaine had not one lingering doubt about Kurt.

He was hopelessly devoted to an illusion.

X

Blaine sweated under his pine-green vest, tugging on the white tie nervously as another costumer brought in the December air as the glass door to Poppa´s Pizza opened and he realized that it weren´t Kurt and Finn. He felt overdressed among large families in reindeer sweaters sharing giant pizzas and kids running and screaming around between the tables with no waiter to stop them. There was no waiter to speak of at all actually and while he had been to a McDonalds or Subway once or twice in his life, he´d rather stick to the classier restaurants. Again, his eyes looked up when he felt a gust of wind and the chair skittered back when he stood up.

 Kurt immediately spotted him, his cheeks red from the cold, snowflakes sticking to his hair and eyelashes and wearing the smile that always dimmed after a few seconds. As if he was afraid that other people could see his love for Blaine. Blaine only grinned twice as much for both of them. Enamored with the beautiful sight of Kurt, it took some time before he spotted Kurt´s brother right next to him. Finn was large for his age, with long limbs and where Kurt was reserved, his giddiness was represented in every gesture, his eyes and his large smile.

“Blaine.” Kurt said, voice breathy.”This is the birthday-boy Finn and Finn, this is my boyfriend Blaine.”

“It´s such a pleasure to meet you, Finn. Happy birthday. I´ve got you something for the occasion.”

The bag of gifts hung in his hands unretrieved but stared at by Finn until the mood turned awkward. “Want to bribe me with this?” He asked.

“No – no.” Blaine´s words jumbled in his mouth.”I just thought I´d, presents, I uhm-“
He was interrupted by first Kurt, then Finn laughing and blushed as he realized he had been punked. It broke some of the tension at least.

“Don´t worry, I didn´t mean that.” Finn took the bag out of his hands.”Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Kurt steered both of them over to the empty table that had been occupied by Blaine.“Wait til you see what´s inside.”, he stage-whispered.
Blaine was mesmerized, watching Kurt the whole time as he was unveiled for the first time. Only once, fleetingly, had he seen Kurt this happy and carefree. Moment like that were meant to be captured on camera, to press rewind and fill the need to never let go of it.

“Dude! Laser tag gear? Please marry Kurt right on the spot or adopt me.”

Blaine looked at Finn but still caught Kurt´s shocked expression. He just wasn´t sure if he should be hurt by the shock and what he hoped was not disgust. He hadn´t planned on proposing anytime soon but somehow the possibility that in the years to come he´d do had never been shadowed by doubt. Maybe they didn't feel the same way but that could change.

“Finn, manners!”

“Thank you, Blaine.” Finn immediately said, voice sincere. He genuinely seemed to be grateful for his presents.”I am not sure I can actually keep them since I barely know you.”

“I´ll hope we´ll get a chance to change that then. How about I´ll tell you what I like and you´ll do the same afterwards?”

“Sure!”

Kurt didn´t interrupt, he only played with his fingers on the table while he listened to them talk. His finger´s still twitched when Blaine laid a hand on top of them and squeezed lightly.

“Alright. I like art of any kind, from photographs to grafitti, the national history museum, singing and performing, swimming, reading and fishing.” Finn looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Blaine added,”And I love your brother.”

“We can totally agree on the last one.” Finn said, before cursing in made up words because Kurt ruffled his hair. They´d get along perfectly then.

X

Blaine would always try to include Kurt when they were at the Star Wars exhibition. He held his hand, asked him questions and bought him his favorite coffee. Still, no conversation between Finn and him was ever interrupted by Kurt. He was just standing there, his body tense while he wore a broad smile and listened to them having a nerd off about characters he claimed he knew nothing about. He loved this family and he was glad he got along so well with Finn.
Between Obi Wan and Darth Vader Blaine felt Kurt´s hand get clammy and his body tensing up even further and he looked at him to see his thighs clamped tightly.”Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Sure, I just gotta go to the restroom soon.”

“Then go.” Blaine insisted.” Finn and I will be alright. I think we can handle you being gone for a few minutes. We´ll wait for you right here.”

Kurt glanced around nervously, before settling his gaze on his brother who currently pressed his nose against the glass to get a better glimpse of the movie props.”Are you sure?”

“I have got to say that we get along splendidly. And I think I have won the present challenge.”

That made Kurt loosen a bit.”You don´t even know how he reacted when he received my gifts. And don´t pretend you haven't cheated by buying more presents.”

“May have.” Blaine kissed his cheek, mouth then meeting Kurt´s ear.”But I still intent on receiving my price from you later.”

Kurt gave him a heated look before walking away, his hips swinging because he knew Blaine was watching. When he turned back around Finn was looking at him with a somber expression.

“Enjoying the exhibition?” He asked the boy. ”I am sure the friend who let us in has some free merchandise lying around somewhere. We´ll check later.”

“I know you really love my brother.” Finn stated.”Just be sure to remember that in case you realize that he won´t ever share the secrets he has with you.”

Until then, Finn had seemed like the typical teenager, but right then he appeared to be past his age. His words caused Blaine to shiver despite the heat of a crowded hall.
“Is that what you have to do, Finn? Does he keep secrets from you as well?”

“I will find out sooner or later.”

“The same goes for me.” Blaine retorted.

The gloomy expression left Finn´s face for the sake of another grin as the boy held out his hand and said, “May the best win.”

“For once, I hope we both succeed.”

X

The now barely stopped falling that evening, flakes dancing through the breezy night before descending on the crowd milling on the ice. Blaine was the only one not totally on board with lending ice skaters so in the end he just bought all three of them their own. Kurt only felt mildly irritated by this, the nervousness in his body managing to overshadow any other feeling. Any moment, he feared Finn would let something slip about Kurt's lies or Blaine telling something that Kurt had forgotten to mention to Finn. It was a brittle construct, much thinner than the ice his skates sliced through where he stood.

“Come on Blaine, just set one foot in front of the other.” Finn yelled, sliding backwards without a care for the people whose passage he obstructed.”It´s easy.”

It was, for Finn who loved to ice skate with friends and very seldom with Kurt when he had time. He assumed Blaine spent more time inside, critiquing art or drawing instead of facing the dangers of the winter. At least it seemed that way with how he held onto the handles like they were his lifeline. Kurt almost reached out, wanting to support him, before he felt embarrassed for that thought and watched as Finn steadied Blaine.
“It´s just like rollerblading. Just glide with your left leg and then your right and not too slow because that´s even harder.”

“W-wait!” Blaine screamed when the younger pulled him.”Kurt?” Pleading eyes then turned to him until he grasped Blaine´s free hand and helped pull him along.

“My savior. I am pretty sure your brother wants to kill me with this.”

Kurt felt a bit more at easy now but didn´t dwell on that. He knew that they´d hopefully be too distracted to talk about Kurt´s life at all and the hand in his warmed his body. Until now he hadn´t noticed how familiar he had become with those feelings.

Finn drove off then, but not before giving them an impish smile. It made Blaine laugh and Kurt look at him, allowing himself to admire the handsome sight. He may not be attracted to men after years of his work but he possibly could not deny Blaine´s beauty when even the snowflakes decided to stick to his curls instead of melting.
“When you come over next time I want to give you something.” Blaine said. Talking only made his skating wobblier.

“Something for Christmas?”

“One of the two things is.”

“What is the other?” Kurt asked. “Or is it a secret as well?”

Blaine stopped on the ice, holding on dearly to him. The other hand had also reached out to keep a vice-tight grip on his shoulder while Blaine´s body swayed dangerously.  Someone passing them muttered ´fucking fags, get lost´ but Kurt only glared at the chubby man´s retreating form before turning back around. The man had seemed familiar somehow but Blaine had distracted him with his shaking.

“I suppose I could tell you-“ They barely made it three more feet before Blaine´s hand clamped down tightly around his before pulling Kurt with it when he fell. Both landed on the ice, Blaine below him, providing a soft pillow to break his own fall.

“Are you alright?” He was asked.
Kurt sat up on the damp ice, rubbing his knees where they had collided with the floor. They were the only thing hurting and he was more worried for Blaine whose face was set in deep lines.
“Everything is fine. You caught the brunt of it with me landing on you, it seems.”

“Totally intended.” Blaine smiled a weak smile.”The hero saving the damsel in distress.”

That caused Kurt to swat at him, biting on his lips to prevent an embarrassing giggle to escape.”You caused the crash in the first place.”

“But you still love your hero, right?”

Before Kurt could let out the words feeling feather light on his tongue, Finn approached them. His laugh could be heard even over the buzz of New York, just as carefree as it had been once Kurt had run away with him. Like Kurt had taken on the weight that Finn was now freed from.
“Oh my god, the kid skating behind me laughed so hard at you falling that he peed his pants.” His brother gasped between laughs. He held onto his stomach, looking as if he wasn´t too far from wetting himself either.”His mother then screamed at him and pulled him out but he still wouldn´t stop laughing. Oh my god, oh my god, make me stop laughing, it hurts.”

“It wasn´t that funny.” Blaine grumbled half-heartedly.

“Yes it was! Kurt´s yelp could be heard from the other side of the rink and you slid across the ice like penguins. Man, it was so funny. Do it again.”

Somehow, imagining the picture Finn´s words painted, made Kurt crack up too. Still kneeling on the ice next to Blaine the laughter burst out of him. He had feared he would be rusty after years of pretending, but it still felt natural and let his tension fade. Blaine joined soon after until they laughed so hard they had to hold onto each other while forgetting their surroundings. Just as Kurt opened his wet eyes he saw Blaine´s face coming closer and his eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation.

“I thought I told you fags to get lo-“ Kurt´s eyes reopened. He recognized that voice now that it was closer and his insides merged with the ice on his knees. He couldn´t move, couldn´t run, could barely hear the next words because they were accompanied by a shrill sound.

“Lucky?” The man asked. Kurt didn´t look up. Maybe this was just a fantasy, because otherwise this was a nightmare come true and the later ones kept piling up lately.

“We have every right to be here and we won´t go just because you are judgmental. Just leave us alone.” Blaine addressed his monster, making it real. He seemed to have noticed Kurt´s stupor since he tried to touch him but was rejected. Not here. Not now. Not when Finn-

The monster didn´t seem to care.“Lucky? Is that you?”

“I´ve seen you in the complex before.” Finn mumbled. He wasn´t supposed to know, Kurt thought.

“Shut up, kid.” The monster skated around so now Kurt had to look at him and outside of Kurt´s workspace, Karofsky seemed more inhuman than ever.”Lucky, what are you doing here? Hunter said you didn´t have time for me tonight but that I´d get to see you tomorrow. Did you stalk me here?” He grinned.

Blaine now pushed himself up with Finn´s help, glaring up at the larger man.”You have the wrong person. His name´s Kurt, not Lucky and now I´d appreciate it if you went along, Sir.”

Karofsky looked confused.”Kurt? That your real name? Sounds weird.”

“Did you not hear me?” Blaine cut in, getting in between the both of them, Finn holding him up.”I want you to leave.”

“Who´s that, Lucky? Are you going behind my back? Is this why you never have time for me anymore?”

Kurt´s blood froze, sticking to his icy insides. His mouth opened, closing when no words came out. He´d have to be quick, solve this before they´d find out. Fear held him in its cold grip and he just sat there, watching it unfold.

“What does he mean by that?” Blaine now turned to him. For the first time, Kurt saw doubt flash up in him and the first crack in the image he had built up of him.

“Does he pay you more? I told you I was saving up to get you out and yet you betray me? Does Hunter eve-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Kurt exploded, anger melting his stupor. He stood up, instantly pushing against Karofsky's chest. Whatever hand tried to hold him he shook off.”Don´t say another fucking word.”

“Kurt?” Finn asked.

His brother´s voice broke through him but he didn´t let it disturb him. Not this time. Not when he was seconds away from losing everything. When he pushed Karofsky another time his hands were captured and the monster drew him closer to himself, eyes dark with madness. A crowd had now formed around them but Kurt´s eyes could only take in his brother´s angry face and Blaine´s shocked one.

“What is going on?” He heard Blaine ask.”Could someone please explain because I don´t understand.”

“He doesn´t know.” Karosky whispered. It had finally penetrated his thick mind and the fear crept back into Kurt, replacing the anger. He flinched when the man laughed coldly, not yelling loud enough to drown the next words, “They don´t know you´re a fucking prostitute.”

People gasped, yet Blaine and Finn were dead quiet.

“That´s not true. Let go of me you freak.” Kurt tried in vain but Karofsky did not care if people knew that he was a costumer. It was true, he was a closeted homophobe but what he was even more was a sadistic monster that was too stupid to tie shoe-laces and yet smart enough to know how to get Kurt right where he wanted him. With him, alone, left by the only people he cared about.
“You have the wrong guy.” A defeated whisper came from behind them and a flicker of hope lid up in Kurt´s body when he watched Finn agree with Blaine´s words.

“Jealous of our love?” Karofsky countered, pulling Kurt against his chest.”He is mine. At least he will be once I can pay more than the other men he gets fucked by.”

“Stop-“ Kurt breathed out.

“Let go or I am calling the police.”

It was Finn´s voice that cut through the mumbles and Kurt wasn´t sure if it truly had been his brother because he had never heard him sound like that. It must have been Finn though, because he already had a phone in his hand, holding it to his ear.

Karofsky cursed.“Fuck. This isn't over, my love. I will see you tomorrow and we´ll talk.”

Kurt felt himself being pushed away and barely caught himself before he crashed. The world started spinning again, reality slamming into him as sharp as the ice would have. The crowd surrounding him broke open as Karofsky broke through them, dispersing until only the persistent watchers remained and Kurt was left breathing harshly and trying to think.

He didn´t realize Blaine had approached him until a hand settled onto his back.”Kurt, what just happened? Did you know him? Was what he said true?”

Kurt shook him off.”Stay with Finn. I need to make a phone call.” He said coldly. Where was the use of politeness when his true self had been unveiled?

“But-“ Finn interfered to then be ignored by Kurt.

“It is true then?” Blaine said with a broken voice.”We really need to talk about this. I am sure you will explain and then we´ll-”

“Stop! We´ll talk, just not when he´s here.”

He sped off across the field, feeling himself cracking as he heard Finn´s call for him. The ice that had kept him from acting then now was what covered him and held him together. He´d have to let it in, now that his life was falling apart and he had no way to hold onto it. He would just have to make sure that when he went down, he didn't drag anyone with him.

After the third ring, the phone was picked up and a breathy voice answered, “This better be a fucking emergency because Aunty Tana is for once receiving something for auctioning her goods.”

“Santana, I need you to pick up Finn and hide him for some time. I was caught and now I need a few hours…“, to make sure I am the only one left in ruins.

“What do you mean you got caught? Did the police arrest your ass?”
“No, Finn found out and Karofsky is on his way to Hunter to let him know that I just had a little family get together and-“

“Calm your boy-tits! I am on my way.” She sounded gentler now.”Are you sure he knows?”

Kurt drowned the hysterical giggle on his lips.”They know.”