Chapter 4

This time there really was no this time. It was whenever he stood in the bathroom, glancing, and then truly looking at himself that he would hate what he saw. Bags under lifeless eyes and a too pale skin that set off the red lips of his. At least he looked better than he felt. He hated this, hated himself, especially when mornings left him raw with emotions that mostly wore off after a few minutes of clarity. He never should look into the mirror by morning, because all he saw a cheap whore, something he never wanted to be. Hunter´s words, the sentences he had to repeat, had slowly taken roots in his body and doubt was what remained.

“I hate you.” He muttered, before turning away.

Kurt gritted his teeth against the world, closing of after giving in to all the voices that repeated insult after insult he had heard thrown at him before. The worst were the ones he had said about himself though, cutting in like a knife before twisting it with every doubt he had about himself because of them. There never was the right time to patch the wounds if he wanted to. He looked into the mirror a last time and put on a fake smile.

Then he was out of the bathroom, cigarette he only smoked in the mornings between his lips and a tiny bit of whiskey in his coffee before he was ready to face a new day. Both helped him regain the walls up to protect himself and he functioned like a machine, working on the plan he had spent sleepless hours over. Behind the stove, he prodded against a tile until it loosened and revealed the black box he then opened with a key he had taped onto the back of the next broken tile. Once opened, he was quick to extract the sum of money that he had intended to take and longingly gazed at the picture of his parents that was in there with it.

His father looked gruff, like someone that wouldn´t know how to hold anything fragile when his hands were meant for cars and hard work and yet he gently held Kurt in the photograph. He had called him buddy and bud and that was where Kurt´s memories ended. His mother had always smelled of baking, from the tips of her curly hair to her paint smudged jeans. They looked completely opposite of each other and they had created him. Kurt  wasn´t gentle even though he looked fragile and he wished for his father´s strengths when life held him under water´s surface.

More than once he had found himself wondering what life would have been like if they hadn´t died, but recently he had stopped because there was no point in wishing for something you couldn´t have. He had Finn and that had to do.

Finn was the reason he saved money from his job, because Kurt wanted to ensure a better life for him. College was expensive and even though his job paid well, he did not have the amount some demanded yet. If possible he really wanted Finn to have a car at his sixteenth birthday as well, like any teenager could. The more reason for him to hurt when taking money for his decoy.

He could just hope that Blaine would soon be their benefactor and be worth the risk he was taking, the money he was sacrificing. There was no right or wrong when your world had always been tinted dark. The only thing left to do was try and try to not get swallowed whole.

x

He had carried Finn out of Jeff´s apartment and placed him at the kitchen counter. Moments later Finn´s head rested on it and he was asleep again. Meanwhile Kurt worked on the recipe that was sure to resurrect Finn, heating the pan while humming a Wicked song. Like a siren call, the smell of freshly made pancakes had Finn´s head snap up.

“Pancakes?” Finn mumbled, rubbing his eyes.”With banana´s and nutella?”

“With whip-cream.”
Finn grumbled lowly, as if displeased with the alternative.“And Strawberries?”
“It is December, Finn. Winter strawberries taste awful and we have standards- At least I have, I am pretty sure you would eat anything as long as it was served with pancakes. You remember how you once ate them with salad dressing? Because I do and I also recall the two days of nursing you because you had stomach aches.” He replied.

“I can´t remember something like that.” Finn was a bad liar. “Nutella tastes great whatever season it is though, bro.”
“I only forgive you for using that horrible word since it is still early and because we can agree on you not asking questions about yesterday in exchange.”

Not receiving a reply, he was pretty sure Finn had nodded. The brothers were not morning persons but at least the ten-year-old did not just have alcohol and nicotine to get over the drowsy cloud inside his head. All he needed was the chocolate treat Kurt finally gave in to serving the pancakes with.

Soon enough, Finn´s face was smeared with Nutella and whip cream, teeth brown when he grinned. He was optimistic of making Finn drop that habit since he had managed to make him stop chewing with his mouth open just recently. A part of him, a very large part of him, was happy to have those simply moment of Finn being childish. Who knew how long he would have them?
“It tastes like Jesus has made babies with milk” Finn said laughing at the face Kurt made at that mental picture.”That reminds me of a Powerrangers episode. One time there was this guy, Abergrowl, that kind of looked like a giant metal cow with a unicorn and he was fighting the green ranger that looked like a hippy. Or was it the red one? No, I think it was Fletscher- or was it?”

With as much enthusiasm as Kurt could muster, he nodded along at the right times and asked questions. They rarely had Saturday morning together. Especially lately they had not found time to talk about anything not relating to Kurt´s secret, which was mostly because Kurt had to work and hide and Finn was up and off with friends before he awoke. He still had his whole life in front of him and the hardships that came with it would be fended off by Kurt as long as he had a strong will inside his body.

“Kurty?”

Kurt´s eyebrow rose mockingly. There was only one question that could be asked now.”Yes, Finny?”
“Are there any pancakes left?”
“Nope.”
“Oh.” Finn said, face contorted as if he was facing a mathematical problem.”Oh, but I am still hungry. So hungry for more and you are the world´s greatest brother making the world´s greatest pancakes. Not even the pancakes at the restaurant are as delicious as the ones you make. They are heaven covered in Nutella. Have I mentioned what a great brother you are? Is that Alexander McKing you wear?”
Kurt laughed at what he must have taught his brother at one point. “You mean McQueen, but no, I wish it was. You have become quite a flatterer. Just know that compliments will only get you so far.”

Finn laughed.”Well they helped me get more pancakes and an extra portion Nutella?”
“For the start you could take the left over Nutella off your cheeks if you want more. Two pancakes coming right up, but you should really slow down on your intake.”
“Because otherwise I get as fat as the pancakes, I know.” Finn supplied, making Kurt actually laugh.

His brother had grown up in body and even though mornings were not his time to shine the brightest, Kurt knew that he was growing out of his childhood. It made him proud, but in the back of his mind he felt the terror rising. Childhood had been cruel to him but growing up had devoured him. Finn would- if his plan failed- Finn would work-
No, he couldn´t think of that.

He forced a smile, focused on the jar he was promptly closing.”No, there is nothing wrong with any weight, as long as you're healthy. And guess what, having this much pancakes is not.”

“Noah has some everyday.”
“Well, Noah is not you, is he?”

Finn grumbled around his mouth full of chewed food.”No, he isn´t. I wouldn´t want to be him, he is never allowed Nutella. And he always has to watch his sister that wants to play dress up. One time she made me wear a princess dress. Noah laughed but it wasn´t even that funny because it was a good fit. You would have liked the color of it.”

Kurt nodded, proud of how nonjudgmental Finn was being.”You know, I was thinking about something-“ he started lightly.”How about, for the next few days, you sleep at Noah´s place? I already called his mother and she was fine with it. You could pack the new dinosaur pajama we bought last week. I am sure Puck will be jealous.”

Kurt carefully watched his brother react. Finn nodded, then his face scrunched up in confusion, then he shook his head.
“I don´t know. Puck always wants to play wrestling and it hurts-“

There was a loud knock on the door, accompanied by shouts interrupting Finn. Kurt´s heartbeat quickened but he tried to remain calm when he addressed him, even though he felt sick to the bone.
“Finn, go and pack your bags. Go over to Santana, wake her if you have to, and tell her to drive you over to Puck´s.”
“But my pancakes-“
“Finn! Do as I say!” Kurt hissed.

The shouts in the background got louder and he knew Hunter was just trying to shake him up. He had a key, but he wanted Kurt to know he´d be in trouble. For now that gave Kurt time to rush to Finn´s room and pack clothes for the next three days.
“I don´t want to. Puck is a meany!”
“I have important work to do. Hunter needs the papers on his desk in an hour and he wants to check up on the progress now. You know how he hates to be distracted by children.”
Finn was yelling now, unsuccessfully trying to wrench the bag out of his brother´s hands.”Please, Kurty. I really, really don´t want to sleep there.”

“Please don´t make a fuss and go!” Kurt yelled.

A key in the door and the voice ringing through his apartment was no longer muffled by thin wood between them. In a sprint he gathered Finn´s favorite tiger pet and his pillow before he handed Finn his backpack. He couldn´t look into his brother´s eyes, knowing that the tears were running down his cheeks  now. Every sob of him broke his heart open a little wider.
“Oh Kurty! Ku-rt we have to talk.” His boss sing-songed.

Soon after, Hunter strode into the room, followed by Nick and Jeff who looked apologetic and Rachel the Bitch openly celebrating. As much as he disliked her, at least with more people the chances of Hunter going too far lowered slightly.

“There you two are. Such a cute little family.” His smile slipped a bit when he saw the boy´s backpack. “Leaving so soon Finn? I thought we´d agreed on going to the beach?”
Kurt scowled, pressing his sobbing brother against his chest and as far away as he could from Hunter. His presence alone filled the room with poison bubbling in Kurt´s veins.

“Ku- Ku-rt said- I.”
“We´ll talk about it later. Now go and do as I said or this will be the last time you ate my pancakes.” Finn struggled in his grip, running off before Kurt could tell him to be careful and to be good- and that he loved him.

“I hate you!” Finn screamed when he was at the door. He was gone, taken Kurt´s heart with him but he focused on the whole picture. At least he seemed to comply and Hunter didn´t stop him from leaving.

He was save.

“My heart melts whenever I see you two. God, even as a child he has been awful, I really don´t know why you bother so much with him.” Gesturing to Nick, Hunter set his plan into motion.

He still is a child- Kurt wanted to yell, but the words got stuck in his mouth as Nick´s hands gripped his wrists and moved them behind his back. At first he had the urge to fight, ignoring the fact that Nick was someone he knew, partly even trusted, but then the panic left his body. His hands were still kept in place, but the hold was soft and warm, wordlessly reassuring him.

He understood when Jeff shot him an apologetic look before taking a bat Kurt only noticed him holding now and swung it into Kurt´s lamp. It shattered almost quietly compared to the beat of his heart in his ears.
“Stop!What is -?” Kurt struggled now, to no avail.

The cookie jar on the kitchen counter was next. This time the shatter was accompanied by Rachel´s laugh.
“That is enough for now, J. I think Kurt understands that this is what will happen if he lies to me.”Hunter stopped short in front of him, roughly gripping his chin.”You do, don´t you?”
He didn´t receive a reply but his grin cut through Kurt´s insides like a razor blade. Whatever his face gave away, it seemed satisfying to the sadist.
“Lucky, you have one chance of telling me the whole truth about your little stunts or I can´t promise you you will recognize this place. I mean it surely needs some changes but I think we can both agree that you won´t be too happy with my choices. So what will it be?”
“I´ll tell you. Please, I´ll tell you if you just stop.” Kurt said. Fingertips were brushing over the skin at his wrists to soothe him.

“What a good little dove. Frankly I had hoped we had to crack a few more things here and there-“Hunter poked his fingers into Kurt´s ribcage. ”but what gives.”
Kurt swallowed down the lump, eyes purposely flickering to the couch and back to Hunter.

“I- I- I played tricks with someone who paid me quite a sum and Finn needed- He just needed new clothes and I had no money left.”
Hunter cocked an eyebrow. “You fucked a stranger outside? You really want to tell me that you lied because someone used you outside of this place? And you think I´d fall for that bullshit? J, Finn´s superhero figures need some attention. Let them meet our friend the bat.”

That was the moment real panic set in, not the state he had put himself into to set his own plan into motion. Sure, they were only plastic figures of Powerrangers, but they meant something. Finn loved them and Kurt had done extra hours to buy them in the collector edition. Jeff glanced at him worriedly before closing his eyes and walking out of the room.
“No!” Kurt called after him, struggling until he was free for a few seconds. Nick was quicker and stronger, but he had to feel Kurt´s short nails bite into his skin.”I swear to you, I am telling the truth. Jeffrey! Wait, not Finn´s-“

Plastic cracked in the background.”Boss, please- I just needed the money. The guy paid me so much better than the rest for doing it at his apartment. I couldn´t say no. I asked for it.”

“How much was it?” Kurt jumped as another crack filled the air. “ How much for using that loose hole?”
“Enough.”
“Don´t fuck with me! I want to know how much money you owe me for this. You know that 60% rightfully belong to me you fucking slut!”

The sting set in long after he was hit. It was Nick who no longer held him in place, but supported him to stay upright while the metallic taste of his blood filled his mouth and his ears rung.

“Kurt, tell him.” Jeff said in a hushed voice as he came out of Finn´s room. He looked as bad as Kurt felt. Like the both of them had been cracked instead of the plastic.

Rachel chimed in from behind, mocking Jeff´s tone. “Yes, Kurt, tell him.”

“No! Nonononono.”

“Listen to me, Lucky.” Hunter hissed, once again holding his chin in place.”I only have so much patience. I´d have no qualms fucking you right against the wall until your voice was truly lost but we´ll safe that for later. I know your pressure point. Everyone does. Let me just mention Finn and I bet your tongue will work quite fast. I trained your tongue, I know. When, with whom and how much money do I get?”

“I can´t.” Kurt´s eyes flickered to the couch. “I spent it already.”

“Maybe we will wait for your brother to arrive. I bet he breaks as easily as his little dolls. I´ll even make you watch until either of you faints.”

Kurt remained silent, eyes filling with tears but no matter how often he glanced at the hiding place of the money, Hunter wouldn´t get it. He had to though in order to make it a believable story. Any second that passed made Kurt more restless though, constricting him while he tried to stay away from those thoughts.
Finn lying broken next to his feet. His father had beaten him again for eating cookies before bedtime. Kurt cried, clutching the toddler to his chest, not knowing how else to help. How to make the sobs and screams stop for they would soon draw more attention to him and Finn was already bruising. There was no place not covered in bruises.  Finn. They´d break Finn. He needed to save Finn.

“Fine.” Hunter stroked his cheek before backhanding him again. “Give me an hour. You think your little friends in here won´t talk and tell me where you are hiding him? You are wrong. Let me wave around some money, not much, just what I make with a few lap dances from the girls downstairs, and your friends will run their mouths.” Kurt shook his head.”Yes, they will. You know what happens next? I lure him into coming back home, just a few hours from now, because he trusts me and he hates you. And when he is right in front of you I will begin with breaking his fingers, starting small, then his hands-“

Kurt saw Hunter´s mouth move but no sound penetrated his ears over the sound of his own heart, loud as drums. Somewhere far away he heard someone breathing heavily but he couldn´t move to help. He couldn´t do anything. His chest hurt like it was about to burst.
“Shit- Kurt, calm down. Kurt, calm the fuck down-“ A  muffled voice said from somewhere.

The blurry picture of someone flickered up in his vision between the bursts of color and the black screens. “His ribs will follow, one by one. Then I´ll break Finn´s –“
No air. He needed air, he finally understood and gasped and gasped for something that never seemed to enter his lungs. He vaguely recalled needed to count his fingers but his body was in stupor. He needed to breathe.
“That´s enough. Finn is just a little boy. It is one thing to hurt this slut but you can´t really mean to hurt a child.”

The pictures got clearer, even if the meaning stayed hidden from his clouded mind. Hunter had Rachel at her throat, pressed against the wall. One breath, another. Jeff was pressing something in front of his mouth.

“Shut up!” Hunter roared.”You think I care about that? Kurt was just as young when he choked on my cock to earn his rent. Now I ask you again, do you think I would even bat an eyelid over breaking his brother? Finn´s worthless, it is Kurt I am interested in.”

Kurt´s vision was occupied by Jeff and Nick that now hovered above him while he breathed in the stale air of a bag. In and out, in and out. The world returned to him in bright colors and in the pain of his shoulders that were pressed to the floor as he lay there. He didn´t see it, but he heard Rachel being released and her voice returning to beg for forgiveness. She was still a bitch but he´d remember this. Until now he had never forgotten when someone was nice to Finn.

“Kurt, just tell him about the money.” Nick begged him. “I can´t do this any longer.”
“Please. Please do this.” Jeff chimed in.

“Finn.” Kurt whispered.”This is all for Finn.” Help me, his lips formed. He intently stared at the couch until they seemed to understand. Nick and Jeff looked at each other before Nick stood up. Everyone knew that those two were especially close. They knew best who could do this and who couldn´t.

“Nick, no-“ Jeff said.

“Sorry but I have to do this. I just need the money.” Kurt played along, grabbing at Nick, as did Jeff when Hunter turned to them. The outline of his cock visible as he grinned down at Kurt.

“You think I´ll believe a word out of your mouth after that heroic saving of our little fainting dove? Don´t think I am stupid, I know what happens in my house. But, please, amuse me with your lies. Maybe it will be good enough to not make me punish you after this.” Hunter demanded, stepping closer. Meanwhile Rachel knelt by the door, eyes locked on Kurt. For once her amusement was gone.
“What else should I have done? If he had crashed he would have possibly fallen into the glass table. We´d have to have called an ambulance and you know how they like to ask questions.” Nick calmly supplied.”You are right as well, I like Kurt. But this is business and friendship won´t buy me the things I want. Money does.”

Both of them were shaken off by Nick when he walked over to Hunter. Jeff was silent as Kurt begged and pleaded but Hunter still didn´t look convinced of their story. That changed however when Nick went to the kitchen and returned with a knife. Hunter´s eyes widened, but he was quick at reaching into the inside pocket of his suit, where his gun was located. One second of hesitation would have ended Nick´s life right then. Just one second he would have spent in the stupor of looking at the gun´s small hole instead of jamming the knife right into Kurt´s couch.

The room was eerily quiet apart from the shrill shredding of Kurt´s furniture. It wasn´t necessary. He had hidden it between cushion and backrests but despite his heart breaking for his couch, he appreciated the artistically purpose of it. Not that he didn´t shed some tears because of it, between the tears of fear.  AT least he was calmer now with his goal right in front of him. Finn would stay unharmed. If everything worked out, this would not be in vain.

Right then Nick found the crumbled 500 Dollar bills one by one until Hunter twisted his wrists behind his back and took the money.”Thank you, your service isn´t needed any longer.”

“Where is my payment? I fucking found what you were looking for. I want my cash!”

Hunter laughed. Kurt could only guess where the two grands were shoved when Nick gasped and then yelped. With Jeff´s help Kurt was able to sit up, feeling how sore the muscles in his chest were and how spent he felt. No more tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes. He was focused on the two men standing behind his now shredded couch and the first stone falling that set along his plan.
“Leave us alone now.”Hunter bellowed at them.”Me and Lucky still have some things to catch up on.”
Rachel looked like she was about to protest but for once she was wise enough to stand up and stumble out of the room in too high shoes. Jeff gently placed a kiss to his hair but then stood up and did not turn around until he was gone. From outside, faint as a whisper carried by the wind, he heard Nick utter his apologies. However, they were not needed. This is what he had wanted to happen.

Hunter and him alone, he scrambled backwards when he was approached. He didn´t think about the blow that the college save-ups had taken for this, he focused on the present.

“4 Grand? You betray me for measly 4 grand? That´s what you make in two weeks if you do a little overtime. You can't tell me that this is what you hid from me? Come on, Lucky, what else is there? You know you don´t want me to go through with my plan of breaking a certain someone´s every bone, do you? No? It´s easy, just tell me the truth because there is no one else here that will help your sorry ass anymore if you don´t.”

Kurt was quiet, hugging his knees to his chest. He needed to draw it out, despite the consequences. Otherwise Hunter wouldn´t buy it. After all, his cleverness was a big factor in him owning this business for his relatively young age. He knew how to pull the strings, when to be kind, when to be forceful. Kurt had been naive when they had met. Not naive enough to believe Hunter was just a concerned citizen that would provide an underage boy and his little brother refuge, but he had been fooled into thinking he´d have to sow along other children until his hands were bleeding. He hadn´t been as lucky.

Never in his life had Kurt been lucky.

“What will it be? Finnessas unfortunate deformation or a confession?” Hunter raised Kurt´s chin as he crouched down next to him. “You know, I have 50 men in line for your ass, some very peculiar creatures among them that have very special requests. Most just want a gangbang situation. It will give you more than 4 k, if you are drugged, that´s for certain. Karofsky also asked for a permanent stamp on you but I am still contemplating.” Moist breath met Kurt´s ear shell as Hunter whispered into his ear. “Is that finally reason enough to convince you?”

“I-“
“Is that how a confession is done? I believe I taught you better.” Hunter immediately interrupted him.

For a moment, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This needed to be done. With the last ounce of power he possessed, he brought himself into a kneeling position, hands on Hunter´s ass and nose touching the hard on Hunter had revealed after standing up.

“Forgive me Hunter, for I have sinned.”

Hunter gasped at the friction and at his special title. “Tell me more, but don´t let me get too bored.”

“The guy who paid me said there´d be more with each time he could see me. He has this thing for me.” He stopped, occupied his tongue with something other than talking. “I think his dad has this internet platform that made them rich overnight and has the guy throwing around money everywhere he goes.” Hunter moaned above him as Kurt´s tongue circled the tip.”He wants to be my sugar daddy. I just want to have more money to spend on him, is that such a bad thing?”
His scalp burned when he was pulled back at his hair. Hunter´s eyes were hard but desire clouded his vision. “What are you implying?”

Kurt dove forward, barely winching when some hair got ripped out in the process. He quickly finished his boss off, which was an easy task after years of forced practice. His voice was rough from the treatment of his throat when he spoke afterwards.

“I´ll be good. Give me a few weeks and I will bring him here as my permanent. Think about what he could give if this is my payment for two nights. This is more than Karofsky or anyone else would pay for a slut like me.”
“Why would I trust you now to give me the money? I could say no and give you to more man until you make the same amount as you do with him.”

Kurt bit his lip. He had known it wouldn´t be that easy. Not even when Hunter was blissed out. “I wouldn´t stop taking on others. This is twice the amount you make with me working him and ore men. Remember, we have agreed on the drugs.”

He saw his boss hesitate, tuck himself in as he thought about the thing that was as important to him as his power over others was. Money. If what Kurt said was true, he would increase his intake.
“Why outside though? Lure him in here and I´ll agree. With Richy Rich paying your useless ass, I may even let you have more privileges. You could work in the bar service twice a week. How about that?”

Any other night a month ago would have make Kurt cry in joy over that opportunity. This was all for a bigger purpose though and he couldn´t stop now. Not after what he had endured. Kurt glanced up, shedding a few tears that weren´t fake with his body at its limits. Hunter was weak towards someone below him that he had bullied enough to cry. It got him off, no touch needed.

“He said he likes to keep up the attitude. He wants the whole date and fuck thing and he wants the chamber he has at home-“
“Kinky.”

“In other words, let me off a few hours the nights he demands me and we both will be happier and richer.”

Hunter nodded but did not confirm otherwise. He glanced at Kurt and up, like the air held all his dreams of wealth. His head ached with every heart beat that got him closer to the answer. If this plan failed he wasn´t sure how, but he´d run. He would try and run where Hunter would never find him and continue working on the streets for money. There was nothing else he could do. Blaine was the only alternative.

“I get 70% of what you make and I get to decide when you go see him and for how long. I don´t entirely trust you, you are too much of a fighter for this. But ultimately I have your weakness right in my palm and the next misstep you do, one dollar missing, one client´s complaint or just a second of hesitation when I order you to do something will be taken out on Finn. I like you ferocious, but it is time I tame the wild beast.”

Kurt thanked him the whole weekend through.

X

Kurt 1 am: Hey. Sorry I am only answering now, family weekends are hectic when you have a little brother that keeps you on your feet 24/7.  I would love to find the right space for the butt picture. I am sure it will enhance the bathroom for example. Tell me when to come over and we can spent a nice evening together. I miss you. xx.