Chapter 10

This time he felt tired to his every bone. Finn´s screams still echoed in his head alongside the words that Karofsky had yelled for the world to know, mixing and forming new destructions for his mind. In a single minute Karofsky had broken into Kurt´s sanctuary and shattered it because every wall, every piece of furniture was made up of fiber glass and Kurt had been so careful. So so very careful to cover the glass to avoid anyone to see the insides but Karofsky had just pushed him aside, barged in and smashed everything into sharp shards that no one could ever pick up again. He was the reason Finn had to be dragged off by Sebastian and Santana, kicking and yelling. He was the reason he now sat in Blaine´s kitchen, remaining silent. Kurt´s little home was gone and now he was standing on a road that was split in two further ahead.

One road led to a life where he was able to tell the truth and be rewarded with love, a road so tempting he felt pulled towards it. It was just that even from up here he could see how short the colorful journey would be because Hunter would seek them out and then he´d have Finn and Blaine and Kurt, hung up like trophies because that was what a hunter did. Alive or stuffed like an animal, Kurt belonged to him and that leash would never be snapped, would just temporarily slip out of the owner´s hands. It would always choke him nonetheless. Hunter knew by now, Kurt was sure of that, and he would never rest before he could punish the two of them. Even if that was not the case, even if he could breathe and live without being hunted, he had no doubt that this road was an illusion. Telling the truth would only lead to Blaine hating him.

Because who could love a prostitute?

Who could love someone who used his body to make money, to manipulate, to live? Kurt never could love himself, not after everything he had done. At times like these he wondered if he even wanted what those men did to him. If Hunter was right and he asked for it. Either way, he was responsible for his actions and

who could love a prostitute?

So he took the darker road. It was easier once he had set foot on it. Making Blaine hate him even more was so much easier for him, even though he now had to come up with another plan for Finn. But he decided to take one step at a time. First he had to destroy a heart.

X

Blaine heard the clock tick-tock, the low buzz of the fridge, the sound when he sipped on his tea, his feet tapping nervously against the floor and most importantly: silence. Loud enough to deafen all other sound when their eyes met and Kurt´s mouth stayed in a thin line. He had tried to talk, had asked countless times to get an explanation of what had happened. Was what that stranger said true? How could it not be if Kurt just watched while his brother was forced into a car by two very promiscuously dressed people. For what other reason would Kurt want Finn gone so badly that he bear through the pain of having to witness his brother´s distress? For what other reason than having to tell Blaine the truth and not wanting his brother to hear because Blaine was not the only one he kept his secret from? That he was indeed a whore, or was he?

Blaine found himself  fidgeting further in his seat. He opened his mouth to ask again, but then remembered how cold and snappish Kurt had gotten and reclosed it. The silence at least gave him time to think rationally about the possibility of Kurt´s occupation being, well, being this. It would certainly explain the extraordinarily great sex they had had. Or the time when he had found a hickey on Kurt´s hip-bone that he blatantly had ignored. It would explain scars and the erectile dysfunction, because Blaine could never imagine what being used like this must do to a person. If Kurt really was a prostitute, how could he be a law student who still made enough money to buy so many expensive things? Blaine wanted to know about everything and yet the biggest question was, what else had Kurt lied about? His heart sped up in fear whenever he considered the possibility of not being loved by him.

That was why he finally blurted out, “Maybe I don´t want to know.”

Kurt looked at him, eyes colder than he ever had seen them. The way his body was positioned displayed arrogance and Blaine almost flinched at the condescension in Kurt´s voice.”Why would you want that?”

“You must have had a reason you hid that from me. You certainly don't trust me enough and while I am really sad that its the case I want you to know that I am willing to wait. Just know that whatever you choose to say that I love you. That won´t just change.” He said, instead of admitting how he wanted to lie to himself a little while longer. It was rather hard to pretend though, when Kurt immediately pulled away his hand as Blaine had covered it.

“Kurt, if and only if what that guy at the rink said is true, I am sure we can work it out. If you need a place to stay-“

“I don´t love you.” Kurt said coldly.”I never have nor will I ever.”

Blaine stopped. Stopped everything before it came rushing in and he felt those words impact him and weight him down. Strung along in that order they did not make sense to his ears and yet, even without getting the full meaning just yet, he felt something in his chest clench.

When he spoke he needed to force words out through the giant lump residing in his throat. ”I-What?”

“I have never, ever loved you. In fact, what I feel for you is border lining on hate. God, if I ever need to listen to your pretentious talks about art and about how you totally get me, I may throw up on your pricey Persian carpet.”

“You don´t mean that.” It came out as a plea.

“But I do.”

Kurt´s voice was cold enough to make Blaine shiver and wipe away a tear before it could loosen. He could not accept it. Something had made Kurt act like that and tell those lies. This was so unlike him but maybe the Kurt Blaine knew was the one being unlike his true self.

“Why do you lie to me?” Blaine held on tightly to his chair in case he lost grip on that as well.”Do you think I will blame you for anything? I won´t. If you told me the truth I would still feel the same way. And if you truly never loved me it won´t change the fact that what I felt, what I still feel for you is real.”

Kurt regarded him, eyes showing a tad more sympathy.”Blaine, this thing between us needs to stop either way. I won´t ever see you again so you might as well hear the truth from me before I go.”

“Kurt, please-“
“I am a prostitute. I have been for a long time and that is the only thing I am. Every night, men will fuck me or let me suck them and I will be paid nicely in return. Every night when I was in bed with you, you had thousands of competitors.”

“Then stop and come live with me.”

For a moment, Kurt´s body slumped and Blaine saw his resolve crumble. This had been a rash decision but he felt how right it was. They could work it out. Blaine would get over the signs of disgust toward Kurt´s occupation once he´d stopped. And even if they couldn´t be together in that way, he would never abandon someone in that situation. Not someone he cared about so deeply that he felt his heart break once Kurt returned to his cold stance.

He laughed, sharp and without humor.”Okay, I didn't want to do this out of respect for you but it seems like you won´t ever lose your rose-tinted glasses if I don´t. I love sex. It´s why I do this. It feels so good to be fucked by countless men. Every single man who fucks me is a blessing and you just were another fuck with a much bigger tip and a mediocre cock.”

“What do you mean by that? What tip?” Blaine asked, the last comment making him wary. And he really didn´t want to hear more about Kurt´s sex life not including him.

“´Oh, Blaine I have forgotten my wallet, could you pay for this´?” Kurt said in a sugary voice in a mock of a situation that had happened not that long ago.”´Oh, Blaine, you shouldn´t have.´” He smirked haughtily. “People use me for pleasure but I use them for pleasure and money in return, always ending up being the winner. And I knew that you would be such an easy target.”
“Don´t- please don´t lie.” Blaine whispered, barely holding together.

“You are right, I am a great liar. I convinced you that I am much older, much richer, a law student, and the best scam of them all, that I was actually interested in more than your wallet. Blaine, let´s be realistic for once, shall we? Whatever I said to you, every single line I fed you, was a lie and now that I have no more use for you, you have to understand the truth.” Kurt emphasized every single word that followed. “I used you.”

Blaine stood up, turning around and away from Kurt. How could he look at him? How could he look at him and not want to shake him until he changed his words? How could he not feel such deep hatred if it hadn´t been caused by betrayal? His shoulders shook as his mood swung from anger to sadness. What he truly wanted to do was curl up in his bed, wake up and realize that this was a bad dream. He knew that was impossible though, because even in his darkest nightmares, he could never imagine Kurt looking at him with such indifference as Blaine broke.

“What? Don´t you have anything to say to me? No begging me to stay? Come on, for the right amount I might be bought. For the right amount I can put on a great act, you know that.”

“Shut up!” Blaine finally snapped. His voice was loud enough to startle Kurt for a moment. His body was ready to pounce but he held back, holding onto the kitchen counter.

“Finally a reaction of Mr. Perfect. I take that as a no? What a pity you were a good fuck. Definitely different from a lot of johns who fuck me. I mean if you are into the whole romantic stuff.”

“I said, shut up. I can´t listen to you when you are like this.”

Kurt still smiled. He stood up then, gracefully, as Blaine noted with bitterness. It wasn´t until he grabbed the jacked having hung over the back of his chair that Blaine fully realized what was about to happen. If Kurt walked out now, he had no doubt that this was the last time he would see him. That thought evaporated his anger, leaving him quiet and solemn.

“This is who I really am.” Kurt said calmly, as if picking up the mood.”And I may not be the best human being but I do what I have to do to survive. Finn survives and that is enough for me.”

He put on his jacket and turned around without another glance back, so Blaine tried for the last time, “Kurt, let´s just talk a bit more. I think there are support groups for people like you and I think you need them. I am willing to help you.”

“Why do you still care?” Kurt hissed at him, back still turned.”I broke your heart, I used you. I even fucking stole your money after everything you gave me. I don´t need you. I don´t need your twisted sense of righteousness. I only need to survive for Finn!”

“Then why do you leave?” Blaine walked towards him, running both hands down his arms until he could clutch Kurt´s. His forehead rested between Kurt´s shoulder blades.”If this was an act why do you leave?”

“Huh?”

He didn´t let go when Kurt tried to pull away.”If this was an act, why did you not take my offer to continue the way we were? You could have gotten more money. You could have gotten sex with me. Hell, you know that I would give you the world even now that I want to strangle you for doing this. Why did you steal my own album along with the money when you don´t care a thing about me? Why my aftershave? Why did you kiss me when you thought I was sleeping if you despise me?” He choked on the words, tears spilling onto his cheeks. “Why would you say that you love me when you are asleep?”

Silence battling against two loud beating hearts. Then Kurt broke free and ran through the corridor, away from what Blaine thought was the real truth. Truth that seemed so much harder for Kurt to accept than the lies he told. Hard enough to forever try to escape it.

“You won´t ever see me again.” Kurt said to Blaine who had followed him to the apartment door. Before the crack of the door was fully closed, Kurt said, ”You are better off hating me.”

And that was the last thing he heard from Kurt.

X

Unknown 10 pm: I will wait for you Kurt.

-         Delete –

X

He pulled at his scarf, feeling as if it restricted his breathing as he gulped in the December air. His throat was dry, heaving in the oxygen it could handle while his legs and chest throbbed. He had run halfway through to his apartment, then taken the subway just to run the rest of the way once he had exited. Every muscle screamed at him but he wouldn´t listen. Listening could do so much damage.

Instead he focused on that rational part that had kept him running and that was focused on Finn. The other part went just as ignored as the pain did. For now he had to make sure that Hunter had not yet found his brother. Not before Kurt could explain. Without knocking, he slipped into the apartment Sebastian and Santana resided in and found Sebastian raising an eyebrow at the intruder. He was currently lying on the couch but seemed alert. Before Kurt could ask about Finn's whereabouts the man shook his head at him and pressed his lips together.  Someone was in here with them, someone had already suspected them to help Kurt. He was a hunted man.

“What are you doing here?” Kurt saw Santana emerge from the kitchen, wearing an expression non-befitting for her sharp words.”You have gotten us in trouble more than once and I swear if you come here another time I will rip off your man boobs and sell them on Ebay.”

Kurt played along.“What?”
“I swear, you are more annoying than the Bitch. Why do you always come here when there is a choir for you two right down the street where people want to hear your voices? Once you have your gender transformation, the btich and you can finally be annoying sisters, but only if you promise me not to bother us anymore. ”

The Bitch. She wouldn´t bring Rachel up without a reason. This was a conversation for the purpose of who was listening but she was smarter than just that. She wanted Kurt to know where she had hidden Finn.

“Have you seen Finn? I´ve been looking for him everywhere. Jeff hasn´t seen him either and-“ He broke off, desperation a too easy act for what a crazy day it had been.

“I said, get lost. Bas, bring me the knife, we will make money on Ebay as it seems.”

“Alright, jeez. Just don't tell Hunter I am here yet. Please, Santana. I´d appeal to your soul but I am pretty sure you lost it.”

“We won't lie for you if he knocks on our door.” Sebastian quipped in.”But if it´s you, he already knows you´re here, Princess.”

Kurt nodded. So it wasn't Hunter in here spying on them but Sebastian was right. By now, Hunter had been alerted and he only had so much time. That was why he slammed the door and ran through the hall, turned left, one floor up, second door right. No one was following for now but he supposed it was only a matter of time. Maybe he would get two to five minutes to catch the brunt of it before Finn could be punished.

He hadn't questioned Santana´s decision to hide Finn at Rachel´s but through his contempt towards her he also reminded her sticking up for his brother. That was enough to assume she had a heart if only for him. It was hard to remember that when she sneered the minute she opened the door for him.

“What took you so damn long?” She snapped. There was no time to respond since she pulled him in by his jacket.

The first thing Kurt saw when he looked for his brother were the giant Broadway posters sticking to the walls and the light tones she had used for her much smaller apartment. Then he saw him and forgot everything else. Finn, sitting on her bed, sobbing so much his body shook. He was not a pretty crier but Kurt only remembered a handful of times he had seen Finn cry like this. One time, several years ago, his brother had told him that he knew it made Kurt sad when he cried so he tried not to. And he had been right, it hurt him how much Finn was hurt. Especially knowing he was at fault.

Kurt walked over but took a seat far away from him. “Finn?”

“He hasn't said a word since he´s been here. I suppose you messed up?”

“It´s none of your damn business!”

“It is my business when I risk my life to protect your brother, Kurt! I am not a favorite, I don´t have privileges. If Hunter finds us here god knows what he does to me. So yes, it is everyone´s fucking business why you can't seem to stop getting Hunter´s attention all to yourself. Because people care about you and him and risk their necks while you take it for granted!”

Kurt dismissed her with a hand wave, before he finally let go of the tongue he had bitten down on and admitted, ”I am sorry. I am grateful to all of you for helping Finn.”

She just snorted. ”Never think that anything I do is for you.”

“I wouldn't dare.”

Kurt didn't look at her but he could hear by the softness of her voice that she wore a smile.”I guess I am going to the bathroom and when I return I want you gone. Finn stays here as long as it´s save.”

“What if they find us before that?”

Her face seemed tired but she managed a smile more earnest than he had ever seen her do. He almost understood people who thought of her as pretty. She could be once not looked at through a lens of hatred. 
“If they find us before that I´ll just finally go and pursue my Broadway career. It´s high time anyway.” She said even though they both knew that she couldn´t mean that. Not only were the chances of her succeeding minimal, but Hunter would never let them go. None of them.

“But try not to draw it out, I like my head on my shoulders.”

Then she disappeared into the built-in bathroom and Kurt immediately turned to Finn, staring at the quivering boy while he tried to get the words out. They were not carefully placed yet and he had no clue of what to say, he just knew that he needed them out. As much as it would destroy them, he felt like the grenade had been activated and he had to make sure it detonated now instead of when it was too late to control it.

“Finn?” He said very quietly. ”Are you listening to me?”

His brother raised his head from his knees to look at him through tear filled eyes. His face was red and snot clung to his nose and Kurt still wanted to wrap himself around him. He didn´t, because if he was rejected right then he didn´t know if he would ever stand up again.

“A-are you goi-going to lie to me ag-again?”

“I wish I could.” He watched as Finn´s body was wrecked with new sobs.”But I won´t. Beforehand you have to know that what I did was my own fault. I did it so that you could be happy but I don´t ever blame you and so shouldn´t you.”

Kurt stopped when Finn practically threw himself into his arms, letting himself be shushed by his brother until he cried silently. That was the cue to finally tell his story.

“I didn't know what I would get us into when he found us freezing on the streets a few days after I ran away with you. You were so small and helpless and I was only twelve, I couldn´t care for you. I knew we were going to die eventually, I even contemplated going back to your parent's house when the winter threatened to freeze off our toes.” He rubbed Finn´s back as it stiffened.”Hunter found us one night, said he was a hotel owner and he´d let us stay awhile. I didn´t know-. I didn't know that he would want something in return. I had to work so we had a place to live. Food in our fridge. And before I knew it he wouldn´t let us go. I am so sorry that I lied to you. I didn´t want you to know. Who wants their brother to know that they are filthy scum getting-“

The phase of self-loathing came to a halt before he spilled too much. He still tried to be a role-model in that aspect, even though he was rotten to the core. Until then he had given no thoughts to Blaine but right now he wondered if he was crying to. He supposed he did, Blaine was like that. So naïve and in love until Kurt had stomped on his heart. While they had fought, Kurt hadn´t understood why his heart had hurt as well. It still throbbed painfully in his chest, only intensified because of the shame and pity he felt.

“So yo-you are-?”

“Yes, I prostitute myself.” He admitted, because he didn´t want Finn to say it.

“But he- he forces you to do it, right? We can c-call the police and then we´ll be free to go. We can go live with Blaine for so-some time or something. We will figure it out. I could-“
“Finn.” Kurt cooed lovingly, even though it pained him to hear such dreamlike possibilities. ”I am afraid it´s not that easy. Hunter is powerful. He has men everywhere, he knows everything he wants to know. He would find us and- we just can´t.”

“We can try!”

Kurt never got to answer to that. He barely had time to turn around when the apartment door banged open, revealing Hunter and two of his goons. Behind them he also spotted people he was acquainted with and his stomach shrunk to half its size. Protectively, he shielded Finn´s body from view, ignoring the loud protest from him. He would fight his own fights. They would never get to Finn.

“Look who is harboring a traitor.” Hunter said lightly, stepping in and closer to the bed they sat on. His goons went to break into the bathroom, dragging out a very quiet Rachel by her hair. ”I admit to that being a surprise for me. Rachel was always such a good little girl. Well, luckily I don´t trust anyone so it was rather easy to snoop you out. You should find friends who have your back, Kurt, instead of handing me a knife to stab you into it.”

Jeffrey, Nick, Santana, Sebastian, Caleb. They were all gathered behind Hunter, looking uneasy. Who had told on him? Was it the whole group? Could he blame them after using them countless times to take care of Finn and be endangered for it?

“I just needed some time to set things straight. Whatever you plan on doing to me, you can. I won´t fight. Just leave Finn out of it.”

 Hunter reached out, stroking stray hair off of Kurt´s forehead. Meanwhile Kurt felt frozen and he didn´t know if it was fear or cleverness keeping him in place. He supposed it was the former one when Hunter raised one hand up and the two goons came rushing in towards them on their cue. He finally knew it was panic when they went for Finn instead of him.

“No!” He shrieked, holding on to his baby brother.”Don´t hurt him! You want me.”

Finn was eerily silent as they pulled at him. In vain, Kurt tried to fend them off until one of them hit his head and he let go while the dizziness .

Finn. Protect Finn. They have Finn!

His head felt buzzed, temporarily making him see only shapes until he understood that they had forced Finn onto his knees in the corner of the room. Bile rose in his throat because he had been in this position too many times to not immediately know what they planned.

“Hunter, make them stop. Not Finn!”

Hunter hugged him from behind, immobilizing him with his arms but Kurt struggled until he heard him whisper, “If I were you, I would stop fighting me, or your brother will learn the same way his brother once learned. What do you think how much cock he can take before he throws up? I know you took up to twenty but I suppose he breaks before that.”

“Please. Not that. Not that. Anything. I will do anything!”

“I know you will take anything for your brother but it´s time that you get punished for your actions in the only way that will truly hurt you.”

“No-nono.” His breathing sped up as his eyes were fixed on their pants that were still up. They had to stay up. Finn lay curled on the floor by now but they could make him do it so easily. They – they-

“You don´t want him sucking cock, do you? You don't want him being fucked either. What are you willing to trade for that?”

“Everything! Just Just not that. Hunter please, I´d do anything. Not that. Not that!”

“Remember your words. You are responsible for those actions. Everything that will happen from now on is your fault.” He said lowly into Kurt´s ear, voice piercing him. Then he turned to the people watching and yelled.”I need a volunteer. Who wants to reenact childhood memories?”

Kurt tried to comprehend. There was no need to however, because Hunter spelled it out for him.

“I will pay 500 Dollars to every hit Finn receives.”

At first Kurt sat still. Overly still like his heart had stopped beating for once and he was in stupor. Then he fought again but this time Hunter only laughed.

“Oh, Kurt, you have decided, haven´t you? This was the only other option for your punishment so you have to endure it.”

Hunter let out a low moan when Kurt kicked himself free, hitting his stomach with his elbow. He didn´t get far because one of the beast-like men had him on his neck, raising him until his feet kicked in the air. The goon carried him over like this, choking him so hardly that Kurt felt like his throat would give in any second. Dark spots burst in his vision, even as he gulped in air when he had been let go. Hunter cackled near him, like this was all too amusing.

“No volunteer?” He asked then, amusement apparent in his voice.”Let´s rephrase my request. Either you will receive 500  Dollar for every hit, or our little Tom here will do it and I won´t tell him to hold back. We can all bet on how many hits Finn can take before his spine breaks.”

The reason for Kurt´s breathing being labored was a different one now. Panic attack, his rational part told him. The bigger part was busy keeping him in a choke-hold as he tried to keep in grip with reality. No air. He couldn´t breathe and felt like puking at the same time. Finn, he saw Finn, cowering on the ground, just like he had been years ago. No, this is happening now.

“I´ll do it.” Someone said.

Kurt barely understood because he felt like breathing too loudly. And yet he saw someone blonde step out of the group and was too weak to stop him when he towered over Finn.

“Jeffrey, I see it´s a day full of surprises for me. Okay, we´ll start with slaps to his face.” Hunter leaned over Kurt then. ”Isn´t that what his parents did? Slap him for every little thing? Punish him when they were high as kites?”

Kurt couldn´t answer. He needed air. Air he would trade against Finn not being hurt any second. If he could stop them from lifting him up to eye level, from Jeff´s hand striking out and the sound Finn made paired with the sound of skin slapping skin he would. It was his fault. Everything was his fault, Hunter was right. 
He whimpered when he heard another slap before gasping. Something heavy pressed down on his shoulder, weighting like a ton on his brittle back. He didn´t try to shake it off.

 Another slap.

“Enough.” Hunter said and Kurt felt relief until he heard, ”Kev, Tom, take off Finn´s shirt.”

Between gasps for air, never reaching his lungs, Kurt pressed out: ”But-“

He had said- Hunter had said- They wouldn´t- They couldn´t-

“Boss, what do you want me to do now? I won´t rape him. I can´t. Please, it´s enough already. Finn is innocent!” Jeff´s angered voice said, seemingly disembodied to Kurt.

“1000 grant for every hit with a belt to his back.”

“Kurt!” Finn screamed out when the goons shoved him to the ground. Kurt couldn´t see them but he knew every single white scar of Finn´s back that was about to be broken open like a seal. “Kurt, help me.”

The pleas were stopped by a swift kick to Finn´s gut and Kurt was weighted down and forced to watch. He couldn´t turn away, not when his brother had to endure it. The least he could do was watch and try to survive.

Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe in.

“What are you waiting for, Jeff? You should know best how Tom handles the belt. It´s either your hand or his. Choose quickly, because I am starting to get bored already.”

Like soothing a wild animal, Hunter then petted Kurt´s head, stroking down his sides. It only helped provoking the nausea to the point where he felt like throwing up, right then and there. But first he needed to breathe and watch. Through wet eyes he saw Jeff turn to him, saying something he couldn´t hear. He did hear the belt crack all too familiarly and bit his lip bloody when Finn screamed.

“Do you remember the things his parent´s would say?” Hunter purred gently into his ear. Another loud crack followed by a pained moan build a stark contrast.”´Look at what you´ve done Finn! Such a bad, bad boy! I told you not to touch mommy´s things!´”

As close as Hunter came to the truth, not even he could guess the horrible things they had spat at his brother. Asking why they hadn´t aborted him in the first place. Telling him that they hated him. That he was useless and evil, a crybaby that should learn to keep quiet. Monster!

“D-Daddy, please, I-I´ll be good.” Finn whimpered then when Jeff hit him again, breaking through Kurt´s flashback.

Kurt didn´t know if he had blanked out, but he could not remember how he had landed on the floor, dry heaving before emptying his stomach onto the plush carpet. Guilt drove him to throw up once more when he heard Finn being hit again and noticed that he had hoped that it was over. That he had missed it. Hunter´s loud echoed loudly and he covered his ears when he heard Finn repeat those words.

Those words.

Kurt had been so very good. Good enough to be adopted into a family that was actually nice to him and he had tried his best not to anger his new parents. Their biological son had always angered them and was reprimanded but Kurt strove to be better and they had been nice. Until he stumbled into the attic and found this small, tiny, boy´s back bloody as the belt collided with it.

“Dad,” he had been told to call him that, ”Dad what are you doing?”
“Dad, please stop! Please stop, please.”

He realized that that had happened years ago. He realized he had been calling out those words long buried into his memory when Hunter´s voice anchored him to the present.

“I think our little Kurt here has learned his lesson. Right, baby? You´ll be very good from now on.”

He looked up, saw Finn, back red but not bloody, lying motionless on the floor. It was his fault. He was the reason Finn was like this now. His responsibility.

“Yes. I´ll be good.”

Energy he hadn´t supposed he still had, helped him to first sit up, then kneel down to Hunter´s feet. His head rested on Hunter´s knee and he was even too powerless to flinch when a hand carded through his hair as reward.

“Kurt, you must know that even though you are good now, you have disappointed me. You wanted to run away with this stranger today.” Kurt was too tired to argue. Hunter had made up his mind anyway, no need to defend himself. ”You tried to betray me. I can´t be betrayed by my Lucky one. Today you have received your first punishment but they won´t stop there. From tomorrow onward you won´t see Finn for a long time. It´s better this way, he just distracts you from what is important and soon he will be preoccupied anyway.”

That made Kurt frigid but he didn´t cut in. Hunter continued in a happy tone, ”You also lose all your privileges, your apartment, the right to go outside your new room and no more nice johns for you. I have scheduled various new appointments with you to keep you in line.”

Kurt nodded. What else was he supposed to do? He had lost a war that had never been his to win.

“Look at that guys. Our little mustang tamed with a beating he didn´t even receive. I think this is a lesson you needed as well. Don´t even think about escaping me. Your lives are mine!”

He found himself nodding again. He couldn´t think now. If he started thinking now he feared losing the last remains of his sanity.

With his eyes closed, he was safe.

X

It had been a little over two weeks.

A little over two weeks and yet every time he was supposed to smile, it still felt like gravity weighted stronger on him than on others and his lips were under force to curl upwards. He kept on doing it though. Blaine knew that if he ever stopped he wouldn´t be able to smile ever again. And life went on, even without Kurt. It was hard to get up, ignore signs of what he had drunken the night before and try to be his normal self day after day, but he did it. There was not a day he did not miss Kurt but he knew eventually that this day would come. Until then, that day had always come but with Kurt he felt like something had been cut loose, now drifting somewhere and he could see a hint off it too far away to recapture it.

Kurt had taken something with him that no amount of money could replace.

The picture Blaine had drawn of him now was hidden under a blanket in the depth of his cellar but he still saw it whenever he closed his eyes. Kurt. Time and time again, he had sat in front of a blank canvas but every time he felt like what he tried to draw was already on it. Blank and empty. That was how he felt and he stood up every time, thinking he had captured his emotions perfectly without drawing one stroke.

Some nights, when the alcohol buzzed his senses, he felt the loneliness turn into anger. In those nights he came so very close to hating Kurt if the smashed glasses were any indication. A white wall splattered in red wine, hot red like his fury. Betrayal pierced him like those shards when he remembered how stupid he had been. All the signs had been there. All of them and he had ignored them over and over again.

And yet, every time he went to bed, right before he closed his eyes, he knew that he had been happy. He wasn´t sure though if this heartbreak could be weighted up in happiness.

Now, forced smile in his face, last traces of last night´s one man party washed away, he opened the door for Wes. His best friend was the only one he trusted in on everything even though he had earned the reaction he had feared. Wes was never one to keep his thoughts private and Blaine felt like he had deserved the verbal brainwashing. He had to because Wes had sat with him while he cried and hadn´t said a word until after Blaine was dried out.

His best friend also was the one insisting on finally going out to do his job again and regain his love of art, which was why Blaine was impeccably dressed for the first time in weeks and almost felt like his old self right before his eyes took in who stood in front of his door.

“Kurt?”