July 19, 2013, 1:07 a.m.
Don’t ever look back: Chapter 3
E - Words: 3,373 - Last Updated: Jul 19, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 3/? - Created: Jul 19, 2013 - Updated: Jul 19, 2013 101 0 0 0 0
Chapter 3
They had been driving all day, just stopping to share some food and to try to get the camping cooker to do its work. Blaine learned quickly that Kurt´s patience was non-existent when he kicked the device all over the place. They gave up after that, partly because they weren´t sure the thing would run after being manhandled and partly because Blaine was afraid Kurt would turn to murder if they gave it another shot.
The late afternoon found them finally crossing the border to Texas. To this date Blaine had never been there, but the wasteland they crossed did not really appeal to him anyway. He had hoped for hotter days once they were here, but the fall was just as relentless here as it had been anywhere else.
Without a warning Kurt stopped his car in front of a gas station after hours of mindless driving, almost causing Blaine to crash right into him. There was the spark of excitement in his eyes as Kurt exited and saw the tiny gap between their cars. Blaine wasn´t as amused, rubbing his chest where the seatbelt had cut into at his sudden stop.
"You couldn´t have warned me? It´s not like we can afford to have a broken car on top of our situation."
Kurt only snickered, inhaling smoke from his cigarette and leaning against his car. "Now where is the fun in that?"
"Next time, you better warn me." Blaine said lamely.
There was no point in fighting him, especially not when Blaine was trying to build their trust towards each other. Either way, Kurt wanted to have the last word and he would.
"Yes, Mum." Kurt saluted and threw away his partly smoked cigarette. "Now please give me some money so I can buy Mummy her cigarettes."
Blaine rolled his eyes, but pulled his wallet out nonetheless. There was the raised eyebrow of Kurt that said ´really?´ when he gave him $15 but he ignored it.
"Just cheap food that stuffs our stomachs and doesn´t expire quickly and your cigarettes if you´re lucky enough to get it without an ID."
"Oh, I will."
With that said Kurt was gone, walking very slowly to the shop and causing Blaine ´s eyes to be drawn to his swaying hips. For someone that skinny he still had enough fat left to have a nicely shaped butt.
Huffing, he grabbed his small bag with bathroom utensils and made his way over to the small house next to the station. Blaine avoided looking to closely at his reflection, afraid of what he would see. There was a big chance that he fitted into the ill kept place he was currently in and he was more than afraid of that.
Freshly shaven and finally with brushed teeth, he returned to his car ten minutes later, noticing Kurt´s was still empty. He contemplated following him inside in case he was once again in the tight grip of an angry cashier, but before he could do that he saw Kurt exit the shop. The see-through bag he held in his hands seemed to hold various things that Blaine doubted were healthy or very clever concerning their state, but he couldn´t even find it in himself to be surprised or angry. He was way past that point since he met Kurt.
"Blaine." Kurt hissed lowly, capturing his attention.
"What?"
"Blaine-"
There was a long and awkward moment until Blaine finally saw the movement of Kurt´s head in the dim light that indicated that he should finally get into the car. Blaine hesitated, wondering why and wanting to ask just that. Turned out he couldn´t when Kurt´s stiff steps quickened as the first yell echoed through the night.
"Hey. Hey kid, you forgot to pay for that."
"Fuck. Just go, Blaine. Go, go, go , go go." Kurt screamed, before he ended up doing a mad dash to his car, almost hitting his head on the other car door after an impressively high jump onto his seat.
Meanwhile Blaine fumbled with his keys and was inside his own car, right before a fist slammed into his window. The bag landed on Kurt´s backseat, while his wheels squeaked on the asphalt and then the red car in front of Blaine´s finally set into motion. Through the opened window, they heard the cashier yell profanities at them, unsuccessfully running after their cars until he was finally just the size of a fly in Blaine´s rearview mirror. Torn between the rush of adrenalin in his veins, making him feel giddy and invincible and the anger he felt towards Kurt, he smiled and frowned at the same time.
He remembered his brother always wanting to capture such a moment, telling him to ´frile´ as Cooper would call the weird combination of expressions, camera in his hands and taking thousands of pictures. But the reminder of another person that had left him was just what it took to wipe away the smile and pick up the pace. Unlike Kurt he turned on his warning lights before coming to a halt in the middle of practically nowhere.
He was fuming by the time Kurt leisurely made his way over to his car , his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight his skin turned pale over his knuckles. He let Kurt knock a few times against the window, before he finally let it slide down to the hilt. In the corner of his eye he watched Kurt lean down, resting his chin on his opened window, but Blaine didn´t turn to look at him. Kurt´s voice wasn´t the casual timber that he was used to, it was tense and probing when he spoke.
"Hey, uhm. Why´d we stop?"
Blaine chose not to answer, until Kurt grew angrier with every second. Patience really wasn´t his forte.
"Would you be so kind and fucking answer my damn question?"
"Why would you steal again?" Blaine asked calmly.
He turned his head to look at Kurt whose eyebrows revealed his confusion.
"Why would I-?" There was the noise of gravel and the loud slam of the passenger door, before Kurt settled beside him. He then rested his feet right in front of Blaine´s eyes on the dashboard
"I tell you why I would steal again. Because we need it. There is no way your lousy pennies will get us through more than two months."
"It would If you didn´t have to spend it on cigarettes and candy."
Kurt huffed, lighting said cancer stick to provoke him."It wouldn´t. I know because I was you."
"Oh there it is again."
"There is what?"
"Your whole ´I am so much wiser than thou, because I was you´ speech. Please, just spare me. The money I have will easily last for a few more months." Blaine spat, finally looking at Kurt whose smirk was slightly crooked. He felt the heat of the cigarette where it was suddenly placed very closely to his forearm.
"Yeah you are so right, Blainey-boy. Your money is enough for you. Not for us. So you better learn to deal with me stealing, because you know what I really do? Fucking provide for us."
The car was suddenly very quiet while both of them glared at each other. Despite the plan to change, to man up, Blaine was the first to give in. He knew when to admit that he was wrong, even though those words would never leave his mouth.
"Just don´t steal. We will find something to earn money with when we reach this friend of yours. If he has a guitar I could sing on the boulevard or something. Just.Don´t.Steal."
Another silent episode that was only broken by the radio Kurt turned on. Then he scanned him and seemed as if he expected Blaine to understand what he was supposed to do. Blaine didn´t, causing Kurt to toll his eyes.
"Sing." Kurt said, sounding annoyed that he had to spell it out for him. "If you´re any good, I may think about it."
Always down for a challenge that involved showing off his talents, he quipped along to the song on the radio.
"...I´ve got the month of May.
I´d guess you´d say, what can make me feel this way.
My girl. Talking bout my girl, my girl.
I´ve got so much honey, the bees envy me.
I´ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees."
Throughout the song, Kurt´s facial expression didn´t really change to reveal any of his thoughts, but somehow his smirk looked softer and his eyes less jaded. When the song ended, he did too.
"Not bad. Really not bad. Maybe it´s enough to woo some teenage girls who go for the penniless guitar player routine. Maybe some Bieber hair and you´d be irresistible to the brainless."
"Not sure if that is a compliment."
Kurt laughed. "Take what you get."
And Blaine did, grinning like a fool over the backhanded compliment. There were still some Katy Perry songs he hadn´t let the world hear.
Slowly, making sure not to stumble over the strings which ran from the tent to the ground they were anchored to, Blaine made the lasts checks. All the while he was being watched by Kurt who sat on top of his hood, his feet dangling in time with the song playing on his crappy radio.
"Hmm. Uhuh. Hmm." Blaine said, crouching down now and then.
His mind screamed at him that he should stop, because he was making an idiot out of himself, but it was too late. Kurt seemed to have come to the same conclusion, letting out a loud, barking laugh.
"Come on, you don´t have any idea whatsoever about camping, do you? Oh, Blainey, what have you done without me all the time? Who did you pay to build up you tent?"
"No one." Blaine said smiling. "I was just testing you. Making sure you also know how to build up a tent."
"Right."
Kurt hopped down from his car, gracefully landing on his feet and then proceeded to not as gracefully crawl into the small green tent. The outer walls caved out, colorful words were being uttered, before Kurt let out a final ´ooph´ and the crickets returned to singing their songs because it was finally silent again.
Meanwhile Blaine stayed outside for a few more minutes, taking sips of his coke and thinking. There was no way to deny that today had just been another test for his patience.
A test with spikes and mines and all the emotional baggage he thought they had left back at the motel. They hadn´t, but Blaine still had some band aids left he was in dire need of if Kurt remained his stoic, selfish and assholey self. He didn´t quite understand how such a guy had build up his tent perfectly.
Not that his foul behavior would prevent him from doing that, but after a long conversation in which Kurt had snapped and whined about not wanting to sleep ´outside with the bugs´, the perfectly standing tent had come as a surprise. Blaine himself was rather mediocre in anything regarding camping. He had been content when it had resembled something like a tent to be honest.
In full size it fit both of them and a warm glow came from inside the green walls, inviting Blaine who slowly felt the cold creep through his thin clothes. With the promise of a full night sleep, he entered the tent on his hands and knees. Kurt occupied the right side, his body cocooned in Blaine´s sleeping bag, doing what he did best. Blaine coughed when a wave of smoke hit him and he quenched his eyes shut when the sting caused them to water.
"Kurt, fuck. Do you have to do it in here? It feels like I am in one lobe of your lungs. There is a high chance that you breathe more smoke than oxygen per day with the amount you´re inhaling."
Kurt just chuckled. He took a provokingly long drag, before squishing the cigarette out on the soil outside of the tent. Then he laid back down, his blue eyes gazing up at the ceiling above.
"Could be. Not that I cared."
Blaine stopped coughing, sending him a concerned gaze that went unnoticed. His mouth opened and closed like that of a guppy and he was relieved of the burden of talking since Kurt did.
"Camping was one of the things me and...the guy I lived with did every summer. I was never font of bugs and the hard ground, but I never told him." Blaine saw Kurt fumble with the cigarette box and stopped him by taking his hands. For a short second he felt Kurt´s bodyheat slice through the icy skin of his hands, then it was gone just as quickly.
It was the first story Kurt had shared with him without the reward of a fulfilled dare and it motivated Blaine to tell something of himself. He was actually happy, feeling his resolve towards Kurt crumble as he shared his memory.
"My father and me never went camping. I used the camping set once with my friends. It was never something that would fit for our family, you know. We were kind of uptight."
"Who would have guessed?" They both laughed.
"But I would always be the only one he let on his grill. Even my big brother wasn´t allowed to flip some burgers. Just me and my father. It´s probably not that special, but you know, I always felt like I was."
Kurt hummed, clearly no longer comfortable with talking. While elaborating, Blaine had seen the hurt flash in his expressive eyes, but he wanted to push them through that wall that threatened to stand between them ever becoming friends. Apparently they didn´t see eye to eye on that subject. Kurt was once again the maze of mystery and Blaine the trusting puppy lost in it.
It was then that Blaine noticed he was without a sleeping bag, because his own was occupied with Kurt. His eyebrows narrowed as he scanned the small space for something to cover himself with for the night just to come up empty-handed.
"Is that my sleeping bag you are using?" Blaine asked, willing his voice to be calm when he himself was anything but.
"Yeah."
"Yeah? What do you mean, yeah?"
Kurt looked at him, trade-mark smirk set in place."Just, yeah. It´s very comfy by the way."
Every attempt at calmness was in vain by then. There was a weird pinch in his hands, as if they begged him to finally hit and smash.
"I know." He fumed.
"Oh, you do?"
"Yes, because it is my own fucking sleeping bag. And we either share or you are getting your skinny ass out of there."
For an instant, Kurt´s eyes widened as he stared at Blaine and he looked surprised. Then he put his face back on and acted again.
"No. I was here first. I build up the tent, I got us food and I am the only one of us with a solid plan. I get to keep the bag for the night." He said and turned his back to Blaine.
There was just the thin material of the tent between Blaine and the cold ground and without an antagonist who was willing to budge, the anger left him and with it the heat. So he started to shiver and crept closer to the warming material of the sleeping bag and thus to the body in it.
He wanted to hate Kurt, he really did. It was just so hard to do when he was reminded of what had made him a bitch. Blaine still had a hard time believing that he had survived a full month without a home, so how could he grasp what it meant for Kurt after a whole year? Wouldn't he be the same? Wouldn´t he grasp any chance of a warm night after a year of lonely, cold ones? No, he couldn´t hate him.
He was afraid he would turn into Kurt.
"Someone has to keep awake for the night, in case someone tries to hurt or mug us." Kurt said after long minutes of absolute silence. He still didn´t turn to look at Blaine.
"Why would they hurt us?"
"We are homeless Blaine. No one wants us around."
Blaine got quiet after that, only the chattering of his teeth providing an answer. There was no trace of malice in Kurt´s voice this time when he said: "You stay awake for the first three hours. Then you wake me and we switch."
"Okay." He said, being sure that he was much too cold to find sleep. When he tried to scooch even closer, Kurt slid further away. It was the last time Blaine tried that night.
"Good night." Came the clipped words from Kurt, then the lights were turned off.
"Can I at least have your jacket?"
"No."
They stood in line behind a drag queen in a leo print dress with hot pink heels, who easily towered over Blaine´s small build. The bouncer seemed to have turned away another couple of girls, who screeched obscenities into the night, before taking the cue to leave.
Once again, Blaine looked down at himself, scrutinizing his clothes and then Kurt´s, before shaking his head at the madness that was this night´s plan. There was no way they would even get in there, not smelling like too much deodorant that they had to use instead of a shower that morning, dressed in their best attire, that was not close to being chic and not with the bouncer that seemed to turn people away on a whim. No way this plan was going to work.
What plan, Blaine wasn´t even sure himself. Kurt had just dropped the bomb when they had had breakfast, Twinkies and soda, that morning. ´This will be Dallas´, he had said ´No motel will be cheap enough to not drown all of our money in one night. So we need a place to stay. And the tent or your car are no option. Well, you are lucky that you have one Kurt Hummel to call your...companion, because I have a solid plan.´
Yep, now here they were, trying to get into a LGBT bar without fake ID´s, hoping Kurt would be able to fulfill his masterplan, whatever the hell it was. Blaine had an idea of what the plan could entail, but he shoved it back into the dark corners of his mind until it was time to deal with them.
The queue moved forward, making them the next ones who would be analyzed after the drag queen.
"Don´t talk. Let me handle it. And give me 30 bucks." Kurt hissed, pinching the arm his one was hooked into. It was all part of Kurt´s act.
"30? Are you nuts? We need that money."
The drag queen chatted lively with the bouncer, her voice loud over their quiet ones.
"Trust me. After tonight, we will have more than enough money when my plan works."
Blaine looked at him, his mouth open. Then he handed the money over, reluctantly letting go after a tug of war. "What the fuck is your plan. I swear, if it involves stealing -"
"Next. ID?" The bouncer interrupted him.
He was clad in a sleeveless shirt that showed off his muscles when he flexed them. His mouth open he chewed his pink gum, scanning them before letting his eyes linger on Blaine.
"Uhm. I-"
Kurt shushed Blaine with another pinch, before he let go of his arm. In stupor, he watched as Kurt approached the man that seemed twice his size, because he was skin and bones beneath his tight ripped gray shirt. Milky skin was visible more than the parts that were covered and Blaine saw his muscles move when he leaned closer, pressing the frail body against the meaty one. After that Blaine was invisible to the bouncer who enjoyed the slow grinding against him and openly groped Kurt in front of everyone. Then Kurt gave Blaine a wink and he vanished inside the blaring club. As Blaine turned to follow, he was held up by a strong hand on his neck.
"You better watch your slut of a boyfriend, before it´s too late."
Blaine gulped, but didn´t dare to look back after he was shoved through the open doors of the club. Loud music encased him, pacing his quick heartbeat in time with the bass while strobe lights flickered the world on and off. He couldn´t make out Kurt in the mass of grinding bodies, but he felt too overwhelmed to care.
And just like that, Blaine had started his first night in a gay bar.