The thought of he and Blaine's future fluttered into his mind and Kurt began to wonder if there even was one. He wanted things everyone wanted. A house, a good job, a family, and to just be happy. But unlike most his didn't feature a woman or a wife. Instead it was Blaine. It was perfect; at least to Kurt. They had everything they could dream of, and best of all, there was no hate. But that's because it was a dream. In reality, the things he wanted seemed so far out of reach it was as if they barely even existed.

He had always been such a good boy, Kurt. Always did what his parents wanted, even during their horrible divorce. His father praised him to all his friends and always reminded him how proud he was. Would he still he proud when he found out the truth? Would he still love his son when he found out how bad of a Catholic Kurt was really being?

He thought heaven took for in his roommate when they first met. Blaine was smart, handsome, and athletic. He knew as soon as shook hands he was something special and if Kurt ended up in hell for it, then he welcomed the demons, for surely they would understand how hard it is to fight such a temptation.

When they were alone, it seemed as if the world had stopped and the only people who mattered were he and Blaine. He cried when Blaine told him he felt the same way and their first kiss tasted like magic; pure, pure magic. He thought it would never and he didn't want it to.

But it had to and it did. As soon as that bedroom door opened, they were no longer lovers, but best friends and nothing more. As time went on, Kurt realized what they were doing wasn't just fooling around, and that they needed to come to terms with it. Blaine disagreed. Kurt wanted to fight him, but he couldn't. Blaine always held some sort of spell on him. Behind that door Blaine was a happy, carefree person who loved to play his guitar and look at bow tie magazines while he and Kurt listened to P!nk and Katy Perry. But outside, he was a totally different person. He was who everyone expected him to be. That mask he wore was growing old, but only Kurt could tell.

Kurt said nothing, but for someone who didn't like to act, he was perfect at playing his role. Walking down the empty hall, Kurt sung to himself, reflecting back on everything he and Blaine had went through, and how Blaine puts it upon himself to be the hero, the perfect little Catholic boy.

'Everything's an act, when you're pleasing everyone. And he assumes that role to such renown. He plays a perfect part, straight from his heart, knowing the risk he takes,and hoping that the house is not brought down. . . .'

Walking down the hall, Kurt thought of Blaine, thinking of how he acts and how he wants to be.

'The role of a lifetime is living a fantasy. The trauma that you struggle to battle words over deeds; a war with such casualties. . . all played out behind a smiling face.'

Moving from the door, Kurt continued down the hall, stopping upon the large painting of the Lord. Kurt hadn't been one to simply believe there was a God; he needed proof. But in times of needed, he prayed, and looking into the eyes of the great one, he did such now.

'God I need your guidance. Tell me what it means to live a life where nothings as it seems. Spending days in silent fear, and spending nights in lonely prayer. Hoping that one day when you wake, those feelings won't be there.'

Leaving the painting, Kurt leaned against the door of a class room, looking in to see Blaine sitting at his desk, talking flirtatiously to one of the female students.

'So confused because I feel complete with him, when we're alone it all somehow makes sense. Look into his eyes for some compromise; remember the word, forget. . . and try to bury something so intense.'

Moving away, Kurt continued down the wall, kicking his feet as he walked.

'You learn to play the straight man; your lines become routine. Never really saying what you mean. But I know the scene will change! White picket fences, and a dog; a trophy BRIDE and children . . . God I know that's what he wants!'

Throwing him to the lockets, Kurt bangs his fist against them angrily.

'But Blaine what role do I play? Am I a savior or a phase? Am I here to damn you, or to help you navigate this maze? Where confusion is a crime! So you fill your life with sound, and if you dance like hell, you hope you never touch the ground!'

Kurt spun himself around, dancing gracefully. He wondered shortly what it would be like to dance with Blaine in his arms. He stopped sadly, realizing that day may never come.

'What happens when the music stops? In the silence will he stay? One day you'll realize that these feelings aren't going away. . . . So we drive ourselves insane, spinning circles in our souls, as we dance around and play pretend. Then once again . . . reprise our roles.'

Sighing defeatedly, Kurt lifted his bag from the ground, tossing to over his shoulder, and left for class.