Kurt tried and failed to smile in return. "Can we talk? We really need to." He wished he'd refrained from making it a question. Talking really wasn't optional anymore. Things had gone beyond the stage where it was okay to pretend that everything would right itself. "We need to get some things... ironed out." He didn't want Finn to think he was in for just getting yelled at or lectured. If their positions were reversed, Kurt doubted he would have found it easy to face up to a discussion to begin with, let alone a tongue lashing.

"Yeah, I guess we do," Finn agreed, standing back and allowing Kurt into his bedroom. His pulse quickened at the sight of him. It alternately excited and dismayed Finn, who had hoped that the last impromptu kiss had gotten whatever he'd been feeling out of his system. Kurt smelled wonderful, looked even better, and Finn realized just how dangerous it was for the two of them to be alone together. "Are you and Blaine... okay?" he asked cautiously.

"We will be," Kurt agreed cautiously. He took a seat in Finn's desk chair and chewed on his lip nervously for a minute. "The thing is... I want us to be. But I want you and I to be okay too. Just... okay in a different way." It very nearly hurt to try and explain the situation and how complicated it had all gotten. "Finn, you know I care about you. A lot. I have for a long time. But now... now things are different. I'm with Blaine, and our parents are married. And now suddenly you're looking at me differently and it... it’s confusing. I'm sure it is for you too.

"Have you thought that maybe you chose me because you knew I wouldn't say no?" Before Finn could protest, Kurt added, "Maybe you're questioning things, and I'm here, I've always been... been interested, so you weren't worried about me not wanting you."

"That's not it at all..." Finn started to shake his head 'no,' but it was spinning too much from the blow he'd taken plus the introduction of alcohol to make it possible. Instead he sank down on the edge of his bed, pressing the ice pack against his throbbing jaw. "I've never looked... even thought about another guy... that way before," he tried to explain. "You're the first, the only one... and it scares the hell outta me." His eyes darted to the floor, staring as if discovering the room was carpeted for the first time. "That's why I lied to you about remembering what happened. I couldn't handle it... I still don't understand what's going on."

Kurt sighed and crossed his legs, fingers laced and propped up on one knee. "Just because you're interested in a guy, it doesn't mean you're gay, Finn. Plenty of people have more than one, shall we say, area of interest. Just because you haven't been attracted to other guys... it doesn't mean you can't be. Either way, though," Kurt added as gently as he could manage, "I'm with Blaine. I want to be with Blaine. He's sweet and wonderful and he loves me. I love him. I won't cheat on him. I hate myself for being so impulsive as it is, and I can't let it happen again. I can't hurt him." The tears were coming again, and Kurt wished that he had gotten better hold of himself. "I can't lose him."

Kurt's words pained Finn more than Blaine's jaw-crushing punch. His heart constricted within his chest, beating hard and fast against his ribs. "I never meant to do anything to hurt you," Finn murmured, hoping Kurt would believe him. "When I'm around you nowadays, it's like my brain shuts off and there's only one thing I can focus on, and that's you." He lifted his eyes to Kurt again, feeling that terrible longing ache returning. "It's just my luck, isn't it? Wake up and find I want you, but you've already got somebody else. Really bad timing."

Kurt let out a laugh that wasn't particularly mirthful. "Yes... yes, it is. Very, very bad." He couldn't help wondering how amazing it might have been if Finn had realized his feelings the year before. They could have been together, had a real chance. Somehow it wasn't as blissful a picture as Kurt would have thought. The idea that he never would have known Blaine lingered in his mind, and Kurt didn't like that. Not one bit. However awkward it all was, it was also right somehow. "I just don't want to lose what we've managed to build. We were finally becoming friends. Really friends. I don't want to go back to being on... on opposite sides somehow."

"We won't, Kurt," Finn assured him with more conviction than he actually felt. "We're bros and I've always got your back. This... whatever it is... won't change that, I promise." He nearly added, //As much as I want you right now, I've got to remember you're off limits,// only to think better of the idea. "Besides, I really don’t want to piss off Blaine anymore than I already have. If he ever gets tired of singing, he's got a career in boxing, that's for damn sure."

Kurt couldn't help smiling at that. As much as he hated seeing Finn hurt, there was something rather exciting in the realization that Blaine loved him enough to fight for him in a very literal, visceral fashion. "I am sorry about that..." He almost reached out before thinking better of it. "Is it still hurting a lot?" Having never been socked in the jaw himself, Kurt had only the dimmest of ideas what such a thing might feel like and what sort of pain Finn was in.

"He definitely knocked a filling loose," Finn replied, his tongue flicking over his back teeth. "I think I'll live." He was grateful for Kurt's concern, and he couldn't help but notice how his stepbrother almost reached out to him. "Haven't got a clue how I'll explain it away to Mom and Burt. Maybe they'll buy I got hit during football practice." Worried more about Kurt than himself, Finn warmed as he wondered aloud, "Erm, Kurt, I... ah... take it you must have heard me last night?"

It was Kurt's turn to look embarrassed, and he nodded hesitantly. "Yes. I... I wasn't eavesdropping intentionally, but I heard my name and..." He cast Finn an apologetic look, cheeks blazing. "That's when I put together that you remembered a little more than you let on. I should have confronted it a bit less... well, publicly, but I was, frankly, furious. It was one thing, what happened if you didn't know, but... but you not talking to me... pretending it was nothing... hurt. A lot."

"I'm sorry, Kurt - I really, really am." Without a moment's hesitation Finn eased off the bed and was down on his knees in front of Kurt. "You know I'm not the smartest person in the world and what I did was stupid, even for me. That night... Yeah, I was drunk but... I meant every word I said, everything we did... When we kissed, I've never felt anything like it..." Getting far too carried away, Finn tried to pull himself back. "God, why couldn't I have noticed you before? Why is this happening now when you're so happy with Blaine? I'm just an idiot. Biggest idiot in the world."

"You are not!" Kurt protested, his voice sharp and serious. "You may be a bit... dense at times, but, Finn, you... it was... well, it was flattering and... sweet, in a way." Had the circumstances been different, it would also have been incredibly wonderful. Unfortunately the timing had been far too wrong, and Kurt's heart ached at the idea of hurting either of the men in his life. He allowed a small smile to find his lips finally and offered, "Honestly, any guy - or girl - would be lucky to have you. They will be lucky to have you." There was one last thing troubling Kurt, and he finally asked, "Does Quinn know?"

"No, she doesn't..." Finn was appalled at the idea. "...At least I don't think she knows." He thought about the prospect for a moment, recalling the death glares Quinn had flashed at Kurt during class. He hadn't given her any indication to be jealous of his stepbrother, especially after he'd gone out of his way to avoid even the slightest eye contact with Kurt. Finn couldn't talk to her about this; Quinn would never understand. "You've gotta let me make this up to you," he said, abruptly changing the subject. "Are you and Blaine still planning to meet for the weekend?" That hurt. Finn couldn't bear the idea of what Kurt and Blaine might get up to. He shifted his shoulders as if to steel his resolve. "Well, I can help back up your story about staying at Mercedes'. It's the least I can do."

Kurt looked immediately hopeful. "Would you? Not that dad has any reason not to trust me - I mean, normally," he amended, realizing that they were discussing directly lying to the man, "but... it would help if you went along too." He tilted his head to the side and studied the bruise that was forming on Finn's face. "I could probably help you cover that up. It won't be perfect, but if they don't get a good look at it until it's healed up a bit, no one would know the difference."

"Could you?" Finn brightened, more over the prospect of Kurt's attention than concealing his bruise. Already his stepbrother's gentle touch had set him on fire, and Finn briefly wondered if he would be able to keep his promise about not letting things go too far between them. "I'd appreciate it a lot," he added, cutting his eyes toward Kurt and noting how his voice suddenly deepened. "It'll make things easier if Burt and Mom just don’t notice."

"Of course," Kurt agreed. He led Finn into his room and tried hard to suppress the fear that welled up at the intimacy of being so close to Finn in that particular setting. To cover his nerves, Kurt focused on gathering the proper items from his make up table before beckoning Finn to sit on the stool in front of him. Kurt studiously applied concealer, foundation, and finally powder to set it all. Touching Finn, feeling the slight stubble on his chin, was distracting to say the least. As he leaned in to examine the final effect, Kurt caught the scent of something that was not normal for Finn. He'd been obsessing over every aspect of the other teen for years. He knew exactly what Finn smelled like. And it wasn't beer. "Finn Hudson," he began in a stern tone, "have you been drinking?"

"Hmm... What? Erm, yeah," Finn admitted sheepishly. "I needed something to kill the pain, and... make me forget about how badly I fucked things up with you..." He was gazing deeply into Kurt's beautiful eyes, feeling himself getting lost again. His pulse hammered, thundering much harder than anytime he'd made a flying tackle. Every instinct in his body screamed for him to kiss Kurt again, to lift him up and carry him over to the bed and... "You won't rat me out, will you?" Finn barely managed, his self control deserting him further and further by the second.

"No.... no, of course not," Kurt answered reluctantly. He didn't like the idea of Finn using drinking as a crutch, but he also wasn't going to turn his stepbrother in when Finn was keeping his secret. "Just be careful. Please? I meant it when I said I care about you. Just because we can't be... involved... it doesn't mean that we can't be close." Smiling with a bit more genuine happiness this time, Kurt sat back in his chair and surveyed the effect. "Perfect. No one's going to notice a thing." He couldn't resist throwing a little extra in and said, "Maybe you should think about getting out a little. Call Puck or Quinn or, god help me, Rachel. See a movie. I don't want you sitting around the house moping."

"Thanks, Kurt..." Finn was barely holding it together. The longer he stayed in Kurt's presence, the more he wanted him. Even if he wasn't slightly inebriated, Finn doubted he'd have much self control. Kurt was too tempting for his own good. "I care about you, too..." Without warning he reached out, snaking his arms around his stepbrother and embracing him. Finn buried his face in the graceful curve of Kurt's neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent deeply. He was shuddering, his lips close to Kurt's smooth, silky skin. "Yeah, I'd better call... somebody," Finn decided, forcing himself back with a ragged groan.

It took Kurt a moment to snap himself out of it. It was too easy to fall back into wanting Finn when the other teen was that close, that intimately pressed against him. "Yes. Do. I... should see about finishing up my homework. Honestly, this time. Otherwise there's no way I'll be sneaking off to Blaine's tomorrow." His father wouldn't begrudge him a weekend with friends, but Burt would strangle him if he failed a class because of it. "I mean it when I say I want you to take care of yourself, Finn. Go have some fun."

"Don't worry," Finn replied, flushed and slightly out of breath. "I'll find something to keep myself busy." He straightened, pushed himself up and a wave of dizziness crashed into his senses. Finn staggered a little with a murmured "Whoa," and he regained his balance. "Okay, if I don't get a move on then I'm really going to do something I'll regret." He paused at the door, turning and catching one more glance at Kurt. "Thanks again... for everything."

Outside in the hall, Finn breathed deeply as he leaned against Kurt's now closed door. How he was ever going to manage to keep his cool around his Kurt was a mystery to him. He wanted his stepbrother so badly it hurt. //And I can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to jump his bones.// Deciding that a breath a fresh air would do him more good than hanging out with Quinn or one of his friends, Finn grabbed his keys and got into his car.

Nothing on the radio helped his mood. Every song seemed to be aimed specifically at him, and the last thing Finn wanted to hear about was unrequited love. His vision blurred and, before he realized what was happening, Finn started crying. //Stop. Turn around. Go tell Kurt you love him!// Oncoming headlights blinded him... Finn swerved... and the whole world was swallowed up in darkness and the rending of metal.