"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't ever look back, don't ever-"

Blaine yanked his phone out from under his pillow, typed in the password and immediately looked to the right hand corner of the screen.

Tuesday.

It was still Tuesday.

Blaine screamed in frustration and threw the phone away from him. Rolling over, he buried his face in his pillow, wrapping his arms around it so he could try to ignore the outside world.

He had... he had killed himself. He had thrown himself off a building.

How was it possible for him to survive? He had fallen from five stories!

Maybe he just needed to try a different way, maybe if he found the right combination...

No.

Blaine was deluding himself if he thought there was any way that might work. He hadn't died from the suicide jump because the Tuesdays wouldn't let him. No matter what he did, there was only one way out which Sebastian had decided upon when he started the time loop.

There was nothing Blaine could do.

Blaine bit his lip tightly to stop the emerging panic attack. He wanted to cry and scream and find Sebastian and hurt him. He wanted out, he wanted to escape this nightmare but he had no idea how.

He'd tried everything, he'd talked to people who weren't even in his year or in any of his teams and he'd learnt the names of what must have been hundreds of students. He had tried absolutely everything and now he was exhausted, even more than that, Blaine had given up.

Blaine lay buried in his blankets and pillow for an indefinite amount of time. He didn't want to move; he didn't have the energy to and instead dozed in and out of consciousness. He didn't get up when his second alarm went off to tell him to leave for breakfast and he didn't try to get up when he heard the faint echoes of the school bell signalling the start of class. He didn't move when his phone buzzed with text messages from concerned friends and he didn't attempt to answer the door or even call out when he heard worried students knocking or asking if he was okay.

They all left him alone after ten minutes or so and Blaine couldn't help but feel grateful.

He just wanted to be alone, he didn't want to have another repeated conversation or go to another class where he could recite the lecture from memory. He felt completely drained, he hadn't even had breakfast but the idea of standing and getting dressed seemed too huge a task when all he wanted was to drift.

It was around lunch time when someone else knocked at the door.

Blaine ignored it at first, keeping his eyes closed as he breathed deeply in and out, his hands still clutching tightly at the blankets.

He wondered if Jeff would sleep in someone else's room tonight. Maybe he could use the opportunity to share a bed with Nick because Blaine was in no mood to have another person bustling around and trying to talk to him right now. Jeff would ask questions that he didn't want or care to answer. Trivial things like:

"Are you sick?"

"What's wrong?"

"Why weren't you in class?"

"Why is your phone all the way over here? Did you throw it?"

"Should I get someone to get your homework?"

"Did you and Kurt get into a fight?"

"Are you going to the Warbler's auditions?"

Jeff was trying out for a solo too, Blaine vaguely remembered talking about it around day twenty five. He was excited, as was everyone trying out for a solo. Solos for big competitions like regionals didn't usually come often, Blaine received more than his fair share of the spotlight he would admit but as the council had repeatedly said, Blaine was their strongest singer.

Blaine had stopped caring about solos a long time ago.

Right now he just wanted the rest of the world to disappear.

The person at the door knocked again and Blaine rolled over to press his face further into his pillow. He wanted to be left alone, he wanted everyone to go away and let him sleep. He'd have to get up eventually, the idea of laying in bed for hundreds of Tuesdays to come wasn't any more appealing than dealing with a regular painful Tuesday, but Blaine felt he at least deserved a couple of days to himself after he had technically died yesterday.

"Blaine?" A timid voice from the hallway called, "Are you in there?"

Blaine's eyes slid open, glancing over to the slimmer of light that appeared from underneath the door.

Of course.

Of course Kurt would come to see him, taking care of people was what Kurt was good at. Of course he would come to check up on Blaine.

Kurt's tear streaked, pained face came into Blaine's mind as he remembered what had happened yesterday. He remembered the way Kurt had screamed his name as he watched him fall, as if his heart was shattering and Blaine was the cause of it.

Immediately Blaine felt a huge surge of guilt make its way through his body, forcing him to squeeze his eyes shut as he imagined the way Kurt had sobbed.

He'd hurt him, he hadn't intended to but watching Blaine jump must have been one of the most horrible things Kurt had ever witnessed. For the first time since he had woken up, Blaine was thankful for the repeating Tuesdays that erased his death and the memory of it from Kurt's mind.

Kurt had already gone through so much, he didn't need any more nightmares to keep him awake.

"You didn't show up to any classes," Kurt said from the hallway, his voice slightly muffled from behind the closed door, "People said they tried to talk to you but you didn't respond."

There was a moment of silence where Blaine laid in the darkness, eyes closed as he focused on Kurt's voice. The idea of seeing Kurt made him feel uneasy, he was still worried about being seen as weak, but at the same time he wanted to let the other boy in and curl up in his arms. He wanted Kurt to hug him until he felt better and all his problems went away, pushed aside by Kurt's soothing voice.

It was strange to Blaine how the idea of letting anyone else in made him want to curl up tighter or barricade the room, but the idea of telling Kurt about his problems didn't make him as scared or uncomfortable. He trusted Kurt more than anyone else, maybe it was time to make good on that trust and let him in.

"Blaine? Can I come in?"

"Yes," Blaine coughed, clearing his throat before calling out again slightly louder, "Yes please, but no one else."

The door creaked open slowly, and with it came more light that made Blaine squint to see Kurt properly.

"It's so dark in here."

"I just wanted to sleep; I haven't left this bed since this morning."

Kurt closed the door behind him and carefully made his way to the window, opening the blinds slightly so there was enough light to see his way around.

"That's better," Kurt said as he turned to face Blaine.

Immediately his face dropped into a look of sympathy and worry, taking in how tired Blaine looked and the way he was curled up as if he was trying to protect himself.

"Oh, Blaine."

"Hi."

"Have you eaten yet?" Kurt moved to sit down next to him on the bed, reaching into his bag to pull out something wrapped in alfoil, "I brought you a sandwich from the cafeteria in case you hadn't."

"Thanks."

Blaine pushed himself up into a sitting position, taking the food from Kurt's hand as he unwrapped the alfoil and began to eat. Kurt watched him for a few moments in silence, taking off his bag and letting it drop to the side as he bit his lip in concern.

"Do you want to talk? There's obviously something bothering you."

Blaine chewed on his sandwich slowly, nodding his head.

"Can I..." Blaine pointed to his sandwich.

"Of course go ahead."

They fell back into a comfortable silence, Blaine trying to avoid eye contact as he focused on the methodical act of chewing. He didn't know where to start, he didn't know how to articulate all the thoughts floating around his head. He was still so guilty over what had happened yesterday and the longer he reflected on it the guiltier he felt. Even if he was certain that death was the only way out, jumping in front of Kurt had been selfish and stupid. If he ever did manage to escape the time loop he was stuck in, Kurt screaming his name was going to haunt him.

It's not that he wanted to die, Blaine mused to himself as he made his way through his sandwich, in fact it was the complete opposite. He just wanted to go back to his real life. The life where time moved in the correct way and Blaine could at least pretend he wasn't isolated and alone.

When he'd woken up this morning he hadn't wanted to exist. He'd felt on the verge of some kind of breakdown, as if at any given second he would start screaming at how trapped he was and he wouldn't be able to stop. Everything had felt smothering, from the blankets draped over him to the tiny room itself. He couldn't run away, he couldn't hide or decide to give up, he could scream as loudly and as long as he wanted and it wouldn't change a single thing.

"I guess you're not up to coming to my audition today, huh?"

Blaine looked up at him in surprise, pausing as he watched Kurt flinch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that. That was selfish."

"No, no, I understand this is a big deal for you."

"Yes well, it shouldn't come before your problems. At the end of the day it's just a stupid audition."

"Hey," Blaine frowned at him, "Don't talk like that. If it's important to you then it's important to me. You worked hard on this, you should feel proud."

Kurt shrugged, glancing off to the side as he rubbed at one arm.

"It's not like I'm going to get it anyway, I don't have the right image to lead the Warblers."

"That's ridiculous, the right image for the Warblers is anyone who has a strong voice and is capable of singing at competition level. That would be you."

Kurt gave him a small smile, gesturing him to finish off the rest of his sandwich as Blaine crumpled up the alfoil and threw it in the direction of the bin.

"Can we... can we lay down for a little bit?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise, slowly nodding his head before pushing gently at Blaine to make him move over. The two boys shuffled across, the bed was barely big enough to hold them both but Blaine found that he didn't exactly mind the way Kurt was pressed up against his side. It was warm, human contact that made Blaine feel safe.

"You should go to your audition today, I wouldn't want you to miss it."

"I'm not going to abandon you Blaine."

"I'll be fine," Blaine reached down to take Kurt's hand in his, linking their fingers together as Kurt's words seemed to die on his lips, "You coming here now is enough."

Kurt smiled at him, a look in his eyes that Blaine couldn't place as he nodded his head slowly.

"I'll stay for as long as you want."

They lay together in silence, Kurt's thumb stroking gently across Blaine's hand as Blaine breathed in deeply and let the tension seep out of him. It was amazing the effect Kurt had on him, he hadn't even said anything yet and Blaine was already feeling better just by his presence. Kurt really was the best friend he had ever had.

"I take it your problems have been building up for a while," Kurt started slowly, letting his words drift off so Blaine could fill in the blanks.

"Yeah," Blaine sighed, shifting slightly on the mattress as he thought about how to explain. The slight unease he'd felt when he'd realized Kurt was standing outside his bedroom door rushed back to him and made Blaine squirm slightly, biting at his lip. Talking about his problems and making himself vulnerable was always something that Blaine was going to have difficulty with. It was easier to just not dwell on them, to push them to the back of his mind and hope they'd disappear but Kurt was expecting him to explain and well... it had worked once, right?

If Blaine had learnt anything throughout the time loop it was that Kurt was always going to be there for him, whether it was to pick him up from a bad date or to skip school with him and stay out all night. If Blaine were to say something that made Kurt not like him, then the Tuesdays would just reset and everything would be forgotten. This really was one of the few times Blaine could explain everything going on inside his head without fear of being judged.

"I guess... I guess I've been trying to ignore everything bothering me for as long as I possibly could," He started off slowly, glancing up at Kurt's face to gauge whether he was really being listened to. "I just thought... I guess I thought that maybe it would all eventually solve itself and all I had to do was keep going and it would be fine."

"But I take it that didn't work out so well."

"I feel like a fake. I've felt like a fake for a long time and we've talked about this before even if you don't remember but I just..." Blaine sighed in frustration and rolled over into Kurt's side, burying his face in Kurt's neck as he tried to get comfortable.

"I don't know how to... I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling."

"Just take it slow. There's no rush, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

Kurt slid his arm up over Blaine's back and pulled him in tighter, tilting his head so he could push his face into Blaine's hair.

"Thank you."

Kurt remained silent, just waiting for Blaine to speak while Blaine took a couple of deep, calming breaths.

"You know about Sadie Hawkins, you know how I came here because I was too scared to go back to my old school. I didn't keep in contact with any of my old friends, partly because I didn't have many after I came out but mostly because I didn't like who I was back at my old school. I was fourteen and this tiny kid who everyone picked on, I was a victim. Being bullied made me feel so pathetic and weak and when I came here, I promised myself that I was never going to be like that again. Coming to Dalton... I'm looking at all these confident, intelligent, accomplished guys and I just... I felt as if I was looking in at them through a glass wall. I wanted to be like them so I dressed the right way and I said the right things but it wasn't enough. It's never, ever enough no matter how hard I try and I'm so... there's nothing else I can do."

Blaine reached up his hand to tangle it in Kurt's shirt, trying to pull him as close as he could.

"Once the bruises had faded, I started acting. I became the type of person who I'd always admired and wanted to be but on the inside I didn't feel like it at all, I kind of felt like I was playing dress up in someone else's clothes. People believed me though and it slowly started to feel like I had everything under control. I even forgot that I was acting and that the Blaine I was pretending to be wasn't really me at all."

Blaine fell silent again, letting Kurt stroke up and down his back as he struggled to find the right words. He flexed his hand in Kurt's shirt, swallowing nervously as he nudged his nose upwards to the spot just behind Kurt's ear.

"The problem is, is that eventually another guy's going to turn up who's a better singer than me and a better dancer and he won't need to try as hard as I do to make people like him. He won't need to pretend to be more interesting than he actually is and I'll be pushed to the side in favour of him but there will be nothing I can do about it. I just... I keep trying so hard to be that person who everyone loves and wants to be friends with but nothing I do is ever enough and I can't help wanting more. I wanted a boyfriend or-or someone who would just make me feel like I'm special and who would always put me first. I wanted someone who would be in love with me because they saw me and not the guy that has everything perfect. I guess I thought having someone just for me would... I don't know. Make things better."

"Having a boyfriend doesn't magically solve your problems Blaine."

"I know that," Blaine sighed, "But I always liked the idea of having someone. I guess I romanticised it a bit. It-it doesn't even matter, what matters is that I'm a screw up and there's nobody out there who'd want to date me in the first place. My own parents don't even like me, they shipped me off to Dalton the first chance they got and the Warblers wouldn't like me at all if they knew the real me-"

"Hey, shhh, no more talking like that. You know it's not true."

"But it is true! I'm not as confident and charming as everyone expects me to be because on the inside I'm still the same scared, fourteen year old kid who ran away from his bullies like a coward. I have no idea what I'm doing Kurt. Any second I could completely screw up and suddenly everything I've worked so hard for, every sense of normalcy and security would collapse around me."

"There's something missing," Blaine paused to sniff and rub at his eyes, "It feels like I've spent my whole life searching for this... this anchor, this sense of security and comfort and safety but I can't find it. I couldn't find it with my family and I couldn't find it at this school and I've recently realised that I can't find it with the Warblers either because while they might be team mates and some of them are friends, but if someone better came along then they would replace me and that scares me so, so much. I don't know how I got to this point and I have no idea how to stop feeling like this."

"Why didn't you come talk to me about this before?" Kurt asked in concern, squeezing at Blaine's shoulder gently, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know, I guess I was in denial. I think I'd even managed to convince myself that I was the Blaine who everyone saw, and not as pathetic as I felt on the inside."

"You're not pathetic."

"But I am-"

"Stop it; you're not pathetic at all."

Kurt tightened his grip around Blaine, pulling him even closer as Blaine fell silent, suddenly exhausted from letting everything out. Kurt fell silent too, absorbing Blaine's words as he took in everything Blaine had said. Blaine didn't mind the quiet, he was relieved just to be able to address everything he had been feeling over the past two years or so.

There was a part of Blaine that was still so fearful of rejection, there was a part of him that was scared that Kurt only cared about the Blaine who had everything together, who was perfect and in control at all times. Wasn't that the guy who Kurt had seen the first time they met? Wasn't that the guy who made Kurt want to be friends with him?

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all this," Kurt said softly, the words immediately putting Blaine at ease, "I know it must have been hard, but friendship isn't a one way street. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything, it sounds like you've been feeling isolated for a long time and that just... I know what it feels like to be alone and I don't want you to ever go through it, especially not while I'm here."

"You've had a lot to deal with lately."

"So? Friends always come first Blaine, how selfish would I have to be to ignore you in favour of homework or Warbler's auditions, especially when you've done so much for me? I love you a lot, you're my best friend."

"I love you too Kurt."

Blaine could feel himself tearing up and squeezed his eyes shut, grateful that Kurt couldn't see how strongly his words had affected him.

"I think... I mean there are some things I want to say straight off but I don't know where to start."

Kurt paused, his hand continuing to stroke up and down Blaine's back as he bit his lip in thought.

"You're important to me, and when I look at you I don't see anything fake or disappointing. I see the guy who was brave enough to help me confront my bully after only a week of knowing me, I see the guy who's never laughed or made me feel lesser for liking fashion and Broadway. I don't understand how you got this distorted image of yourself but I'm telling you right now that I don't think you have any problems with people not wanting you, I think your problem is that you're not always clear with what you want."

"Huh?" Blaine looked up at him in confusion, rubbing at his eyes, "What do you mean?"

"Well, okay. For starters it looks as if you've been feeling like this for a long time, and yet this is the first I've heard of you being upset or feeling lesser. Why didn't you say something?"

"I don't know, sometimes it's just easier to keep things to myself. If I'm upset about something then what's the point of telling other people and bringing them down too?"

"Um, because maybe they'll be able to make you feel better? Because if you make it clear what you want, then there's a stronger chance of you getting it?" Kurt said, voice slightly dry, "Blaine, I love you a lot but my first thought when I wake up isn't 'I wonder if Blaine is really upset about something and hiding it, I should go question him just to make sure.' I'm not a mind reader and if you don't tell me that something's bothering you then it's just going to keep on bothering you until it turns into an even bigger problem. You deserve to be happy and it's not selfish to want to talk about yourself, in fact it's kind of your right. Putting everyone above yourself isn't helping anyone in the end."

"What? That doesn't make sense, in fact it's rude."

"If you don't want to go to something then say so, if someone hurts your feelings then speak up. I don't understand where you got the idea that everyone's feelings have to be placed above your own, especially if they're hurting you."

"It's just easier," Blaine sighed, starting to feel slightly frustrated that Kurt couldn't understand, "It's just easier if I stay quiet."

"For who?"

Blaine opened his mouth to reply but then paused, quickly falling silent as he started to trace circles into the front of Kurt's white, school shirt. Kurt's eyes flickered over his face as he tried to avoid thinking about the question, he could feel Kurt's gaze tracing down his nose and across his mouth as if Kurt already knew the answer but was just waiting for Blaine to admit it.

"It's not like I want to feel like this," Blaine eventually said after a long pause, "I don't get any particular joy from having to work so hard all the time, always being so scared I'll screw up. But when I do get things right, that's when it's all worth it. I just want everything to be okay, I want to make people happy and have them like me."

"Are you happy?"

Blaine's eyes flickered upwards to meet Kurt's gaze, something in his chest tightened when he thought about the question and he found himself biting his lip.

No.

No he wasn't happy, but was that because of his depression from the repeating Tuesdays, or from an unhappiness that had started long before he had woken up that first morning?

"I... I don't know. I'm happy when everyone else is happy."

"I wasn't asking about everyone else, I was asking about you."

Blaine shuffled forward so his head was nestled back into the curve of Kurt's shoulder, ducking his face so he was pressed up against Kurt's neck. It felt safe here, alone with Kurt in his dorm room, it felt like the rest of the world didn't exist beyond his bedroom door and he could lie there for as long as he wanted. He knew it was an illusion, the clock would strike twelve eventually and suddenly Blaine would be opening his eyes to an empty dorm room and no Kurt. He needed to savour every moment and with this thought in mind, he slid his arms up underneath Kurt's back so he could hold the other boy as tightly as possible.

"Blaine?"

"I don't think I know how to be," He replied softly, squeezing tighter around Kurt's middle so he could ignore how scared he felt, "It was easier when I could just concentrate on everyone else being happy. Then it was like a checklist and I could go through it one by one and fix things. I used to be so good at it, but now it's like I've lost all control. I can't do it anymore, I'm too tired. I..."

Blaine trailed off, struggling to find a way to articulate how he was feeling.

"I know you're scared that people won't like you," Kurt said, dropping his voice back to the soft comforting tone that made Blaine want to close his eyes and fall asleep, "You're afraid of being judged but if you won't even open yourself up enough to the people around you then you're not giving them a proper chance. Who cares if a couple of people don't like who you are? A couple of people can't be compared to the hundreds of friends you'll make throughout your life."

"But that only works if they like me in the first place," Blaine pointed out, "And I still can't think of a reason why anyone would do that."

"Blaine-"

"Don't, just forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."

Kurt slumped underneath him with a frustrated sigh as Blaine tensed up, suddenly regretting ever letting Kurt into his room. This was the exact opposite of what he had wanted, it would have been better to have just left Kurt completely in the dark. Blaine could feel his heart speeding up, his palms were starting to sweat and he tried to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

Should he make Kurt leave or would that just make things worse? Would Kurt leave by himself? The thought made him panic, even if he didn't want Kurt here, he didn't want him to just decide Blaine wasn't worth the effort either. Why couldn't he just go back and stop himself from saying anything? Why did he have to wait till twelve until the day would start over?

It took Blaine a couple of seconds of silent panicking before he realized that Kurt was rubbing circles into the back of Blaine's shirt firmly, he hadn't moved from underneath him, he hadn't made a single motion that would indicate he wanted to leave. Blaine clenched his hand firmly in Kurt's shirt, breathing in deeply through his nose as he clamped his eyes tightly shut.

"Please don't go," He wanted to say, "Please don't leave me."

"Do you know why I like you?"

"Sorry?" Blaine opened his eyes to meet Kurt's in confusion.

"I said do you know why I like you? Do you know why I want to spend so much time around you?"

"Well, I guess not," Blaine said slowly, slightly wary of the question.

"It's not... I don't view you as someone who's above all the rest of us, as if I'm so incredibly lucky to be able to bask in your presence. You're an amazing singer Blaine but that's not your one defining characteristic."

"Okay, then why?" Blaine asked into Kurt's neck, dropping his gaze again when the eye contact became too uncomfortable, "Like me I mean."

"I... I like you because you cry with me at the ending of Titanic and don't laugh even though I've watched it at least thirty times. I like it that you have an unhealthy obsession with female ballads about being a strong woman and a weakness for cheesy pop songs. I like that... even though it's never going to happen you keep trying to convince me to watch Star Wars with you, and that you're a huge nerd and I think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. I like how you have a bow tie collection and text me pictures of scarves you think I'd like for my birthday even when it's months away, and that you have a huge crush on Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and think I haven't noticed-"

"I do not! I just appreciate the man's aesthetic value."

"Uh huh," Kurt replied with a roll of his eyes, "I like that whenever we go to the mall you spend an hour cooing at the puppies in the pet store and waving at them as if they know what you're doing and I like that you're overly nice to everyone, even creepy strangers who should probably be avoided."

"He was a lost old man asking for directions-"

"He looked like he was a part of a gang!" Kurt snapped, "And we are not having this argument again."

Blaine buried his laughter in Kurt's shoulder, picturing Kurt's disgruntled expression perfectly without having to look up. When his chuckles had died down, Blaine rolled on to his side, still curled up against Kurt as he studied his face curiously. Something clenched in his chest as he looked up to find Kurt smiling at him with that warm look in his eye, the look that Blaine could never quite figure out but always made butterflies swoop around his stomach.

"Did you really notice all those things about me? I mean, not just notice them but... like me because of them?"

"Yes," Kurt said firmly, not even pausing to consider the question, "You're my best friend, do you really think I'd spend so much time hanging out with someone if I didn't genuinely want to be around them?"

"I guess not."

"I can't speak for your family or any of the Warblers but I like you for who you are, in fact I can't believe it even needs to be said. I've never felt as close to someone as I do to you and it's not because you're lead soloist or polite or good at sports. It's because I... I trust you. More than anyone I've ever met besides my dad. It's hard to explain-"

"No, I get it," Blaine said softly.

"Then you'll realize that nobody could ever replace you. You're not some doo wopping robot who the Warblers will throw out when a better model comes along. People like you because of your genuine kindness, it's not something you can fake and they respect you for it. You're a good team leader and even if another guy transferred who was as good a singer as you, he would never be able to build up the same rapport with the Warblers that you do. You're not perfect, but so what? It's not a character flaw Blaine, it's not expected of you. "

"I know that."

"Do you? Because saying you do in theory and actually accepting it are two different things."

"I get it," Blaine said as he started to trace a pattern on to Kurt's chest, "but then people need me to be in charge and organized and it's not like I think of it as being perfect, more like I just need to be the best I possibly can at all times."

"That's the same thing as being perfect," Kurt said with a sigh.

"Not really, it's more-"

"Blaine."

The single word was a warning and Blaine felt himself slump back against Kurt, letting all pretences fall away.

"I just want to help."

"I know sweetheart, but you can't help everyone. If you spend your life focusing on everyone else and not thinking about your own feelings then sooner or later you're going to crash and burn. You're important too Blaine, I don't know if anyone has told you this, but you matter. You have wants and needs that are just as important as everyone else, and frankly I think you should start thinking about them, not just what's easier or convenient. Everyone needs time to relax and do something they enjoy or you'll burn yourself out. What do you like doing? Something that doesn't have to do with school or your family, but something you like to do just for yourself."

"I don't know."

"Think, even if it's small you should have something for you."

Blaine breathed in and out deeply, nose tucked into the edge of Kurt's shirt where his collar met his skin. Kurt's left arm was wrapped across his shoulders and gripping lightly at Blaine's left arm, but Kurt's right was placed gently on the small of Blaine's back. The weight was comforting; it anchored Blaine to Kurt and made him feel relaxed and safe. When was the last time he had been held like this? Would anyone ever hold him like this again or would it just be Kurt?

Blaine pushed the thoughts away and turned back to Kurt's original question, frowning as he struggled to remember a time when he hadn't felt so out of control and on edge. He had been living in these Tuesdays for more than two months, possibly even three considering Blaine had lost track after forty eight or so. The days had all merged into one, stretching out until it had seemed like one continuous day without break. Trying to remember beyond that was difficult, especially when the time before that had been filled with endless amounts of homework and obligations.

"I like..." Blaine started slowly, "When I get to sing in the shower. Not when I'm practicing for Warblers or performing but when I just get to sing for me. It reminds me of why I joined show choir in the first place, sometimes I sing so loudly that Jeff can hear me and he joins in with harmonies or this fake beat boxing. It's fun."

"Go on."

"I like singing with you in the car when we drive all the way back to Lima and I like..." Blaine struggled to think, "I liked when, last week... was it last week on Thursday? I went to your room to do homework but instead we ended up watching episodes of Gilmore Girls and you made up stories about what was going on behind the scenes and I laughed so hard I fell off your bed."

"I remember," Kurt smiled fondly, "And it was Thursday, yes. If you want we could do things like that more often, I liked it too."

"That would be nice," Blaine said softly.

The quiet of the room was comforting, Kurt's body underneath him was warm and solid and Blaine let out a slow breath as he took a minute to think. This was what he needed, the Tuesdays had made him feel like a rat in maze, frantically struggling to find his way out as quickly as he possibly could but instead just bumping into dead ends and ending right back up at the start. This moment here with Kurt had been what he'd been longing for all this time. He still felt exhausted but some of the edge had been taken off, as if the weight pressing down on his back and dragging down his shoulders had been pushed away by Kurt's words alone. Blaine was so glad he had agreed to let Kurt in.

Lying on top of Kurt, he could feel the way their ribs pushed together with every inhale of breath. The darkness made it feel intimate, as if it were pulling them in and hiding them from the rest of the world. Blaine liked the feeling, he'd never felt as connected and in sync with anyone else his entire life as he did with Kurt. He was so grateful, so relaxed and at ease and could comfortably breathe for the first time since he had woken up. Kurt had done that, Kurt had made him feel that way and Blaine knew there was no way he could explain how much that meant to him.

"You make me happy," Blaine whispered into the side of Kurt's neck, saying the words as if they were a precious secret.

He could feel Kurt inhale deeply beneath him and relaxed into the way Kurt's hand stroked up and down his back as he pulled him in even tighter.

"You make me happy too."

Blaine grinned, letting his eyes close as he concentrated on the feeling of being surrounded by Kurt.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Blaine smiled weakly, shuffling slightly so all of his weight rested on Kurt's chest, "But good, better. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, you should try and get some sleep, we can talk later or tomorrow if you're feeling up to it."

Blaine tried to ignore the fact that there wouldn't be a tomorrow to talk, that Kurt would completely forget this conversation in a couple of hours and Blaine would be thrown back into the time loop. Instead he burrowed into Kurt's side, lifting his mouth up to Kurt's ear to hesitantly ask a question.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," Kurt kissed the top of his head, "You didn't even need to ask."

***

BANG.

Blaine jolted awake, his eyes squinting around the dark room as he tried to figure out what the noise had been.

"What was that?"

"Shh," Kurt's arms slid up around his back, "Go back to sleep. It was just Jeff closing the door. He's going to stay in Nick's room tonight."

"Jeff? Wait, what time is it?"

"Six, we can go get some dinner in an hour if you're hungry."

"Six?" Blaine groggily rubbed at his eyes, starting to push himself upwards only to have Kurt tug him back down, "You missed your audition."

"It's fine."

"It-it's not fine, I told you to go."

"Blaine..."

Blaine could feel the way Kurt sighed his name, the brief burst of warm air brushed across his cheek and made him close his eyes instinctively, basking in the feeling of warmth and security.

"You needed me here and while I'm not going to pretend that I'm not a little disappointed about missing the audition, I'm always going to be here for you. There will be other opportunities to show off my superior talent, I don't mind waiting a little longer for my moment to shine."

"You shouldn't have to; you've waited long enough already."

"Blaine, it was my choice to stay with you and it's not a decision I regret. Don't worry about it, you've got enough things to stress about without adding my problems to your pile."

"I'm always going to think of your problems as my problems."

Kurt's hand tightened in the back of Blaine's shirt as he breathed in deeply through his nose, letting out the shaky breath with a huff of laughter.

"Oh," Kurt said, sounding awed and almost disbelieving, "You can't just- never mind. Just go to sleep sweetie, we'll talk more about this tomorrow."

There wouldn't be a tomorrow to talk about it, Blaine wanted to say. He refrained from commenting though and instead let himself melt back into Kurt's side. It didn't terrify Blaine as much as it had yesterday, the prospect of never escaping exhausted and scared him but at least here with Kurt, everything seemed while not okay, at least bearable.

He would make it up to Kurt, he would sit through Twilight with him and not roll his eyes even though they both knew the only reason Kurt watched was for Taylor Lautner, he would buy him as many cheesecakes as he wanted and let Kurt bitch at him about all the unfortunate fashion choices they came across at the Lima bean to his heart's content. He just needed to be around Kurt, because when he was with him and Kurt was happy then it felt as if everything was right with the world. As if Blaine was important and invincible and brave.

He didn't know how long the Tuesdays would go on before he could escape ("If he could escape at all," a small voice whispered from the back of his mind), but Blaine was very aware that Kurt might be the only person on the planet who he could handle being around every day without losing his sanity.

Tomorrow was going to be different. He was going to spend it with Kurt because being around him made Blaine happy and he knew that was a feeling that was never going to fade, no matter how many Tuesdays he lived through.