What a Feeling
elfinder
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What a Feeling: Chapter 8


E - Words: 12,496 - Last Updated: Aug 27, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/21 - Created: Jul 07, 2012 - Updated: Aug 27, 2013
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Author's Notes: Here is chapter 8 a little sooner than most chapters have been lately. This was one of my favorite chapters so far to write. It's also my longest chapter yet, which is interesting.
Chapter 8

Blaine was able to put his theory that he would be able to act normally around Kurt to the test two days after his moment of doubt. He was relieved to see their normal habit of hanging out regularly was going fine and Blaine reminded himself that nothing had changed for Kurt, so it wasn't all that surprising. What was a nice surprise was, for the most part, Blaine didn't have much trouble acting normal around him. Sure every once and a while he'd catch himself staring at Kurt for a bit too long or start smiling too much, but Kurt didn't seem to notice. This time Blaine and Kurt had actually gone out to see a movie, which had been fun. Blaine couldn't be sure but he swore since Kurt's breakdown he was slightly less rigid around him now. The pair was now at Blaine's regular diner and chatting away while they picked at the remnants of their meal.

“So, now that you're back from New York, any other plans for the summer?” Kurt asked casually.

Blaine shrugged lightly; trying to copy Kurt and his reward was for him to shake his head, but Blaine still saw the hint of a smile on Kurt's face. That caused his heart to begin to beat a bit faster and he knew sometimes it would be hard to stop it from leaping out of his chest. “Nothing as big, I just plan to head home and visit my folks before the break is over. Other than that I have a few gigs to play, things like that,” he answered. “How about you, Kurt, going to head home at any point?” Blaine asked. He knew it was risky to ask Kurt about his hometown, but he didn't ask where home was so he hoped that made the difference.

Kurt fought the urge to ignore the question or change the subject, because Blaine meant no harm by asking. If anyone else had asked Kurt would have told him or her to fuck off. But because it was Blaine and his question had no ulterior motives, Kurt decided to humour him and give an answer. Still, no matter how at ease Kurt felt when he was alone with Blaine, he could never open himself fully up to anyone. He could never be that voluntarily vulnerable. “Most likely, I mean I don't want to bother, aside from my family there's nothing worth going back for. However, I know if I don't go back they'll just come here and I'd like to avoid that,” Kurt explained.

Blaine raised an eyebrow at Kurt; he was surprised that Kurt was basically saying he had things he wanted to hide from his parents. Did Kurt deep down feel ashamed at the type of person he had become? It was odd to consider. Kurt always told him he had no regrets, and that it had been the only option for him and despite Blaine telling himself he didn't need to know. There were so many questions Blaine had about Kurt and his many secrets, questions he knew he could never ask him. Blaine decided to make things lighter and use the old fail-safe; Sebastian. “Lemme guess, Sebastian?” Blaine asked playfully. He has glad that Kurt had no idea he knew what their real arrangement was, or else the joke would have been taken an entirely different way.

Kurt groaned with a nod. “It's not the only reason, but he's one of them. Do you think anyone would voluntarily introduce Sebastian to his or her parents? Even as a friend? Oh god... I can only imagine what would happen if my dad met him,” Kurt muttered in horror.

He then frowned, that sounded so weird, Kurt didn't like how he was acting like he wanted to hide Sebastian from everyone, Mercedes and his parents included. It wasn't Sebastian he realized, it was Kurt himself and the life choices he had made. The fact that Sebastian wouldn’t hold anything back or bother to keep any detail off limit was the cause of his reluctance to admit Kurt knew him, least of all the fact that they were fucking.

“Don't get me wrong, if I was actually ashamed of being his friend, though I use that word loosely, or now being his roommate... I wouldn't put up with him... it's just... most people, from my hometown anyway wouldn't understand. They'd just get all worried and voice those worries to the point where it would turn to nagging,” Kurt tried to explain.

Blaine chuckled lightly; forcing himself to keep things casual. “I think we all can relate to that on some level. If my mom were here right now she'd be like. 'Blaine, you look so scruffy! Put some effort and get a hair cut and you need to stop going to clubs so much, that won't get you anywhere,” Blaine said as he did his best imitation of his mother.

“Ah parents, you love them but they always know how to say just the right thing to annoy you,” Kurt said with a sigh.

“I think you just described, Sebastian,” Blaine pointed out with a laugh.

Kurt smirked, “No, if I were to describe Sebastian, I would use a lot of profanity,” Kurt replied. 'And not the word love,' he thought to himself.

The pair of friends began to laugh together and Blaine knew he'd never grow tired of hearing that musical sound. Whenever Blaine had a weak moment he only needed to remember Kurt's laugh and his spirits would begin to brighten. It had a far more powerful effect than even Sebastian 'present' and Blaine was slightly proud of that fact. “So yeah as I was saying, I plan to head home back too ...and there's Sebastian, so there's no point in me bothering to finish...” Blaine muttered.

Sebastian as usual managed to appear out of nowhere whenever they went and Kurt wondered what the heck he did during the day. “Do you have homing signals on us or something?” Kurt hissed as the taller man slid beside Blaine on the opposite side of the booth.

“Do you really wanna know?” Sebastian asked with a cocky grin. “So what are we talking about?” he asked the pair.

Blaine made a face at that; usually Sebastian changed the discussion to his favorite subject most of the time; himself. But considering Sebastian had kept his word about not trying to seduce him again he was willing to give him a chance. “About if we're planning to go home during the summer, visit our parents,” Blaine answered.

“Well I know I'm not! The long plane ride isn't worth it just to have them tell me how much of a disappointment I've been,” Sebastian commented. His tone was casual as usual and held no bitter undertones, which showed he didn't care at all about his parents’ opinions of him, whatever they were.

“And where do your parents live? New Jersey?” Kurt taunted.

“Paris.”

Blaine and Kurt glanced at each other in surprise but Kurt quickly recovered and his sarcastic side happily took over. “I bet he means Paris, Texas,” Kurt pointed out.

“As in Paris, France, Kurt, or should I get you a map?” Sebastian replied.

While Kurt was busy rolling his eyes Blaine just smiled, their verbal exchanges never got old. If he could just keep the fact that they were having casual sex out of his mind he would be fine. As he watched the two of them leer at each other, it was easier said than done. “You sure speak English like a native then,” Blaine half teased.

“I didn't grow up there, I was born in the good old u-s-of-a. I just lived in France for part of my teenage life. You wouldn't imagine the kind of action I got there too, the French sure know how to live,” Sebastian told them.

“So where were you born then?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian paused to smirk at Kurt and then turned his attention back to Blaine. “Detroit, though we didn't stay there for long either. Unlike Kurt, I'm not afraid to talk about my glorious beginnings. Feel free to ask me anything about my past; it will keep you entertained for sure. Especially so for my experiences in private school, most of which were of a sexual nature.”

Kurt let out a loud groan in response as Blaine and Sebastian began to exchange childhood stories and Kurt tried to filter Sebastian's out of his mind right away. 'Someone save me from this slow and painful torture,' he thought to himself.

Only his salvation didn't end up coming until about 15 minutes later and Sebastian had told him and Blaine enough shocking stories to traumatize them for one day. Kurt was just about ready to stand up and leave when his phone began to ring, the ring tone being Single Ladies and he cursed under his breath. “Uh... sorry...” Kurt muttered and he brought the phone to his ear. The second he heard Mercedes' voice on the other side he reverted back into his sixteen year old self without even noticing it. “Hey gorgeous, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Kurt chimed happily.

The instant change in Kurt was so shocking to his two comrades sitting across from him, that all they could do in response was to sit and stare in silence. Like they were deer caught in headlights, neither one of them wanting to make a sound and risk breaking whatever spell Kurt was under. It was alarming how different he was acting, but it was equally fascinating at the same time. They could only hear Kurt's side of the conversation, yet it was more than enough.

“Hmm? I know we haven't seen each other for ages... yes I do miss you! You're pretty much my favorite person in the whole world, so be grateful,” Kurt said sweetly to whoever was on the other end of the phone.

“I told you that wasn't the case, I'm not hiding anything out here! Or anyone... don't you trust me?” Kurt muttered, he then rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I knew you'd bring that up, what about the whole Shawn episode? No... okay... good call, look I don't want to argue with you... no I don't mean it like that! Can we just start over?” Kurt said as he began to ramble.

When he finally remembered he wasn't alone he glanced across the table and the looks Blaine and Sebastian were giving him were both very different but equally annoying. Sebastian's reaction to his half heard conversation was to grin at him, in the way that he knew Kurt hated. While Blaine, Blaine just looked dumbstruck and he groaned. Once again he had let his guard down, this was why she couldn't come here to see him he reminded himself. Kurt narrowed his eyes at Sebastian and Blaine and mouthed 'your faces.' and he stood up from the booth. “Hold on a second, boo,” he said to Mercedes, deliberately leaving her name out. He put the phone to his chest and looked down at his friends. “Sorry, it must be annoying to hear this,” Kurt muttered.

“Not at all,” Sebastian said smugly.

“I'm not apologizing to you, you asshole. I'm just going to finish this call outside, it won't take long,” Kurt told Blaine as he continued to ignore Sebastian's taunting looks.

“Sure, I'll still be here when you get back,” Blaine assured him.

When Kurt was gone and out the door Sebastian nudged Blaine's shoulder with his elbow lightly. “That sly fox, he's got himself a secret boyfriend.”

Blaine mind started to panic at the very idea and he made himself realize Sebastian was just trying to get a rise out of him, push his buttons. “Okay there, Sebastian,” he replied sarcastically.

“How else do you explain that loving exchanged we just heard? Kurt's never been so sickeningly sappy like that to me, thank fucking god. I know he hasn't even to you, turns out he had us fooled all along. You got to admit this explains why he's been so tight lipped on his personal life,” Sebastian pointed out.

Blaine just glared at Sebastian in annoyance at his theory, it wasn't possible he told himself. “No... No matter how private Kurt is, he couldn't keep having a boyfriend a secret. I mean he lives with you! I thought you said he wasn't having sex with anyone else? Have you ever seen some random guy come over and think it was weird? I know if you did you wouldn't keep it to yourself. Kurt told me himself he's not the dating type and he wouldn't lie to me. Kurt might be an enigma, but the one thing he could never be is a liar,” Blaine announced.

“Well there's one way to find out which one of us is right you know,” Sebastian said as he suddenly stood up and began to slowly move towards the door and the direction Kurt had headed off in.

“What are you doing?” Blaine blurted out in alarm. “Sebastian!” he called after him, but it was no use.

Blaine knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn't remain seated, he wanted to know, no he needed to prove Sebastian wrong. “I can't believe I'm doing this,” he muttered to himself in disbelief as he stood up and hurried after Sebastian. Blaine found him a short distance away and outside of the diner. Blaine was barely able to stop himself from crashing into Sebastian when he came to a sudden stop.

“Shh! Or do you want to face Kurt's wrath if we get caught,” Sebastian whispered to Blaine. He pointed in front of him and to Kurt, who's back was pressed against the corner of the building, facing the opposite direction. “We're in luck, he's in a perfect position to eavesdrop on,” Sebastian said as he crept closer until he was in earshot, but still at a safe enough distance not to be discovered.

Kurt all the while had no clue that he was being spied upon, he was far too focused on his conversation with Mercedes. Despite his talent to notice when he was being watched, he was too distracted, not to mention his spies were behind him.

“So try to make this clear to me, Kurt, you say you have nothing to hide. But why can't I visit you then? I'd love to see the place you keep raving about, the tram cars, not to mention all the gay clubs,” Mercedes asked once again.

Kurt sighed; he had thought long and hard about how to make Mercedes' understand where he was coming from without hurting or offending her. But try as he might there was only one real option, one he had already given into. “It's just not convenient for you to come here, the place I'm at now isn't really suited for company,” Kurt started to explain.

Like before Blaine and Sebastian could only heart Kurt's side of the conversation, but it supported Sebastian's theory so far. “I bet that's because of me, think he'd want his boyfriend to meet me?” he asked Blaine with a smirk.

“You're way off base here,” Blaine whispered to him. “Kurt wouldn't be sleeping with you if he had a secret boyfriend either,” Blaine hissed.

“We haven't actually had sex lately,” Sebastian said with a shrug, but that was a complete lie because just last night they ended up having a ton of sex on Sebastian's bed. But Sebastian knew to use this perfect opportunity to his advantage, because of it would make changing Blaine's mind that much easier.

Blaine was about to say something in reply when he realized they had missed some of Kurt's conversation.

“Okay it's time I fess up here, you better clean your house up because I'm coming to visit you. I've already booked a week off work to head down to LA, I'm sorry I resisted the invite. Because you need to know I adore you and I want to see you, we wouldn't still be in touch if I didn't,” Kurt declared.

“Oh my god, Kurt, you're can be so evil! About time you came to your senses!” Mercedes replied with a laugh.

“I just thought of the adventures we could have and that changed my mind,” Kurt admitted. Which was true, as much as he liked his life it would be nice to get a break. From Sebastian's self centred ways and even Blaine, though he more wanted a break from the conflict Blaine brought forth in his mind, not the actual person.

“Just be sure to dress light, it's an oven here so don't even bother to bring any sweaters along. It will be amusing to see you with far less layers on,” Mercedes said.

“You'll find I'll have a lot of surprises to amuse you with when you'll see me,” Kurt told her with a laugh.

Blaine could barely believe what he was hearing and he refused to believe that Sebastian's could actually be right. But the verbal support he had from them listening to Kurt's conversation was hard to dismiss. “We should go,” he whispered to Sebastian as he pulled on his shirt.

Sebastian just nodded and casually shoved his hands in his pockets and followed Blaine back to the diner and their booth. Unlike Blaine he had no problem acting normal as they sat there waiting for Kurt to return. “So, what's the verdict? Ready to face the music? Because we found out our answer why he haven't heard or met the potential secret hook up. He lives in LA and Kurt's goin' a courting.”

“What we heard out there proves nothing,” Blaine seethed.

“Then why are you so pissed off?” Sebastian taunted.

“Shut up.”

“Sp touchy. Looks like I hit a nerve here,” Sebastian continued.

“No shut up because Kurt's coming back!” Blaine hissed through clenched teeth.

Kurt returned to the booth and sat back down, his first response to eye the two of them for a moment and it was clear that he was back to normal. “So did I miss anything?” he asked casually.

Sebastian shrugged, “Not really, Blaine just confessed his undying love for me,” Sebastian replied.

“Like he'd believe that,” Blaine laughed. “So anything to report?” Blaine asked innocently, figuring there was no harm in the question. When Kurt just shrugged he was still relieved though.

Kurt figured there'd be no point in not bothering to tell them his travel plans, since they'd notice his absence and Kurt found no reason to hide it. “Yes actually, I'm heading off to LA in two days, I'll be gone for a week,” Kurt informed them.

“Really? That's awesome!” Blaine told him.

“I thought you weren't bothering to go anywhere? Visiting someone special?” Sebastian asked.

“Plans change, Sebastian, so fuck off,” Kurt barked back in defence. There wasn't any real reason to keep Mercedes a secret from either of them, Blaine most of all. Still, Kurt knew from experience answering one question only lead to more questions he didn't have any intention to answer. It kept him aloof, kept him safe. “In fact I better go start packing,” Kurt muttered as he stood up from the booth. His patience had long run out and he'd risk getting really angry at this rate.

“I can help you!” Blaine suddenly offered on instinct, always ready to help a friend in need.

“It's appreciated but not necessary, Blaine, or wise, I'm not in the mood for company. You hear that, Sebastian, stay away if you know what's good for you. I'll see you later, Blaine, thanks,” Kurt muttered and he left without another word.

As soon as Sebastian was gone he got right back on track with his plan regarding Blaine. Judging by the look of conflict he had on his face at the moment, it was well underway. “Still think he doesn't have a secret boyfriend now? He turned down your offer to help pack.”

“Kurt's turning down my offer to help doesn't support your crazy hypothesis, Sebastian. He's pissed off, thanks to you and we both know it wouldn't be wise to bother him right now,” Blaine muttered.

Blaine wasn't about to let Sebastian know just how he was really feeling; it was hard to tell himself it wasn't possible. Kurt had said he wasn't the dating type and Blaine believed him far more than Sebastian. But as usual his mind had other ideas and the results were far from idealistic, so he knew that was his cue to leave. Blaine left his money on the table and stood up and he wasn't surprised to see Sebastian follow him. Only for once Blaine was in no mood to be polite and tolerate his presence, not when Blaine knew what he'd want to talk about. “I'm going to head off too, try not to bother Kurt that much okay,” Blaine urged but he knew making the request was pretty useless but he figured there was no harm in trying.

“I'm always on my best behaviour,” Sebastian assured him with a smile.

“Fuck, then what the hell is your worst like?” Blaine blurted out in frustration.

“Let's hope that you and Kurt never do anything to find out,” Sebastian whispered in Blaine's ear as he pressed up close and Blaine could only shudder in response. Sebastian then headed off while whistling away. Who knew getting Blaine to want him would be this amusing. ________________________________________________________________________________________________

For the next two days Sebastian and Kurt steered clear of one another for the most part, not that they were all that much more pissed at each other than normal. The result of this, at least for Kurt, was that all his emotion; anger and annoyance from the last two days were building up. Kurt had hoped he could wear it down by focusing on packing but when he was finished and ready to go, he didn't feel much more relaxed. Normally by this point Kurt and Sebastian would either have a yelling match, sex or both. But instead, ignoring the bastard meant there was no kind of release at all. So he certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with Sebastian when he felt a familiar pair of eyes on him. Kurt didn't even bother to look over at him in acknowledgement. “I'm leaving for LA soon, Sebastian, stay away,” he warned.

“Man you've been in a bitchy mood lately,” Sebastian declared.

Kurt's face formed a scowl; his tempter ready to come to a boil as he glared over at Sebastian's direction. “And who's fault is that?” he seethed.

Sebastian just eyed him with a grin. “By asking who you're going to see? Come on, Kurt, that's fucking bullshit. You're so quick to take offence when people ask anything about you! If you didn't jump to the defensive you might realize, some people, though not me, don't mean to be jerks. In addition to you hiding things, or in this case people, it only makes it look like you're ashamed of them. Or it's like you're some big narcissist who thinks he's too high and mighty to reveal anything. You hide, hide, and hide and it's like you're ashamed of yourself most of all,” Sebastian began to lecture.

Kurt let out a growl of protest; he was in no mood for Sebastian to start preaching to him. “I am not fucking ashamed of anyone I know! Or myself!”

“Could of fooled me, Blaine even thinks you're going to see your secret boyfriend or something,” Sebastian said.

Kurt just gaped at him in disbelief, “That's fucking insanity and I bet it's the other way around! I don't have a boyfriend, Sebastian! Why would you even think that?” he shouted.

“How about how sickeningly sweet you got over the phone! It's like you turned into some fucking chick,” Sebastian commented.

“I'm a guy, Sebastian, you'd know better than anyone. I have a cock and I know how to use it. One you sure seem to be enjoying yourself! Or do you forget who was the first guy to fuck you in three years!” Kurt grumbled.

“You say that like it's a big honour, you're so full of yourself.”

“Coming from you, that insult means nothing,” Kurt snapped.

“And yet you still won't say who you're going to see... like I honestly care. You do realize I'm only doing this because it's so easy to push your buttons. Would have been way simpler just to tell it like it is from the start. Now you're pissed off and while I find it hot, I'm pretty messed up so that's not a compliment.”

“Is this your twisted attempt at flattery?” Kurt muttered in disbelief.

“Nope, I just tell it like it is, you should try it some time. Or else if you keep everything a secret rumours are going to start flying around your big pile of shit,” Sebastian declared. He wasn't bothering to hold himself back at all, showing even Sebastian usually had some decorum, by his standards anyway. Not at the moment though and Kurt's rising anger to everything he said was the proof.

Kurt never liked it when anything Sebastian spewed out of his mouth held merit, and that was evident at the moment. It was true that if Kurt had simply revealed Mercedes' identity earlier he could of spared himself a lot grief, and pent up anger. “I'm visiting a girl, named Mercedes, who I went to High School with,” Kurt finally admitted with tempered muttering.

Sebastian's reaction to finally hearing the real answer didn't give his roommate any chance to calm down. Instead he let out a loud mocking laugh, “Is that fucking it? My god, Kurt, it's pathetic you kept that hidden. What do you think you're the president hiding some deep scandal? Like anyone would care! Ooh look Kurt's visiting an old school chum and it's a girl, maybe he's going straight. Get real. Try being honest maybe from now on.”

“I'm not a liar,” Kurt hissed.

“If the flamboyant leather glove fits, Kurt...” Sebastian taunted.

Kurt hold on his tempter was lone gone by this point, he had no idea why Sebastian was being so relentless even for him. But Kurt was in no mood to stop and theorize. “You're a fucking jerk!” he shouted.

“I've always been a jerk! You've just been too busy with me pounding your ass to notice,” Sebastian barked.

“Oh my god, why would I ever want to share anything with you about my past!” Kurt groaned. “But I'm still not a liar you dick.”

“If you keep hiding every detail of your life you're going to have to start lying at some point,” Sebastian pointed out.

Kurt was growing tired from being angry for so long, but he wasn't about to resort to the usual. Switching their anger to sexual energy was nothing Sebastian deserved, in Kurt's seething mind. By this point, he was more than ready to leave for a week vacation. “Like you have any right to lecture me about morals.”

Sebastian body language relaxed even further as he leaned casually against Kurt's dresser, eyeing Kurt up and down, smirking away. He placed his hands on the smooth wooden surface to keep upright, his eyes never leaving Kurt's intense gaze, never backing down from it. “I have nothing to hide, my life is too thrilling not to share. Ask me anything, I won't hold back or hide, I'll tell you every detail. Nothing is off the table with me,” Sebastian dared.

If Kurt weren't so pissed off he might not of taken the bait, but he was hooked before he knew it by this point.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Kurt asked.

“Fifteen,” Sebastian answered back easily.

“Have you ever broke a couple up, intentionally?”

“Yes.”

“Ever shoplifted?”

“No, cause I have money and I have better ways to be thrilled.”

“Ever fucked a girl?” Kurt grilled.

“Fuck no, I have my standards,” Sebastian scoffed.

“Do you find me attractive?” Kurt said on impulse, figuring he had Sebastian.

“We're fucking aren't we? I only fuck hot ass Kurt, unless I'm hammered. If you insist on getting an ego boost. Yes, you're easy on the eyes, despite your personality traits,” Sebastian answered truthfully, but also showing there was no sentiment with the confession.

“Have you honestly never felt anything for anyone before? That is remotely close to affection?” Kurt asked, giving his final effort.

“No,” Sebastian simply replied. “You trying to find something specific out here?” he added with a smirk.

“Now you're just trying to piss me off for sport,” Kurt sputtered.

“That wasn't a question, Kurt,” Sebastian pointed out smugly.

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh in frustration, he was growing tired of the questioning by this point, since it was getting him no where. He hated to admit it but Sebastian was right, there seemed to be no topic he wouldn't answer. Knowing this Kurt gave up trying to dig up any good dirt on him, or trip him up. Kurt pushed himself off the bed and tried to hide his annoyance, but it was a failed attempt. “Fine, there really is no off topic subject matter for you, I get it. But for the record, just because I don't share the intimate details of my life doesn't mean I'm ashamed,” Kurt grumbled.

“Not buying it, I mean look at us, you've never told anyone we're fuck buddies. When I know you can tell Blaine's been dropping hints that he wants to know,” Sebastian commented.

“He hasn't asked me, you tell him if you want to so bad!” Kurt blurted out.

“I did that already,” Sebastian answered with a casual shrug.

“You what?” Kurt hissed.

“See! You're a fucking hypocrite, Kurt! You say you have no regrets in life, but then all you do is get pissed when people find something out. Let's get to the real truth here; deep down you still care what people think about you! Because if you didn't you wouldn't be bent on hiding yourself from the world,” Sebastian accused as he pushed himself off from the bed. Not realizing he was gravitating from merely provoking Kurt to getting slightly angry himself. Not because he wanted Kurt to be more honest, it just felt good to really duke it out with him. They had never gone this far before, since usually their clashes resulted with sex.

Kurt stormed over to Sebastian and thrust a finger in his face. “Do not even try to preach to me about my life, Sebastian. You have no idea what I've been through, why I keep myself so protected.”

“Who's fault is that?” Sebastian replied.

“Like you'd even care! Why are you suddenly pretending you're a saint?” Kurt shouted.

“Because you became my roommate and I've been forced to live with your bitchy self. I might not care about anyone's lives but my own. But since you walked into my life I've noticed how closed off you are. You're kidding yourself if you think you can shut your self off completely, I can tell that the real you inside is fighting to break free,” Sebastian declared. “I don't want to be here when that happens either! Because that's how serial killers start, I just am looking out to stay alive.”

“You can't be serious,” Kurt said in shock. There was no way Sebastian truly though Kurt could intentionally harm anyone, even him.

“Oh look, I can lie too, far better than you can,” Sebastian mocked. When it got no reaction from Kurt at first, Sebastian simply upped his game, pressing right where it was tender. “You're backing yourself into a corner and soon, you're gonna get trapped, Kurt.”

Kurt was running out of replies to bark back in defence, almost as much as he was loosing his patience with Sebastian. There was no telling which was pissing him off more, Sebastian's getting even more cruel with his words, or if this was his way of showing he cared, or that what he was saying was true. Kurt didn't like any of the three scenarios and he was soon reaching his breaking point.

“Okay then, if you have me so figured out, what else you got?” Kurt demanded, proving no matter how angry he got Kurt refused to back down.

“That you're never going to be able to put your past behind you if you don't cut all ties with it. Like friends, family, say goodbye to them for good or the lies will just get bigger,” Sebastian explained.

“I'm not doing that! Who says you have the right to tell me what to do while we're at it!” Kurt shouted.

“Fine, don't take my advice. Then expect way more hardship in the future, all caused by nobody but you.”

“You're out of your self centred mind,” Kurt groaned.

“Oh yeah? How were you planning to answer when this Mercedes asks about your life here? Did you think you could just graze past any details pertaining to me, or Blaine? Like how you and I are fucking or are even roommates? If you do, then it just looks like you got a lot to hide. Or you don't care about her enough to tell her anything personal.” Sebastian concluded. “I get the feeling you'll act like you do here... whenever you get a question you don't want to answer, you give up,” he accused.

Kurt's hold on control slipped so much that he grabbed a fist of Sebastian's shirt and got up in his face. “I am not a fucking quitter!” he shouted.

“You're ashamed of your fucking life!” Sebastian shouted at him as he stood to his full height and towered over Kurt, despite the minimal feet difference. “Ashamed of what you've become!”

“I'm not!” Kurt barked back.

“You're ashamed of us fucking, Kurt!” Sebastian added.

“NO!” Kurt almost screamed.

“Then prove it!” Sebastian shouted back with anger.

In the heat of their verbal battle, for less than a second they glared at each other until it reached the boiling point and their usual habits returned to them. When Kurt rose to the challenge, right along with his now ragging cock and Sebastian came at him with just as much force, smashing their bodies together. Unlike the many times before their fights had resulted in sexual contact, this time, it was off the scale. Kurt took all his pent up anger and converted it into sexual desire and Sebastian was matching the rising sensual tension Kurt was radiating. That meant they were so focused on their anger and how much it was turning them on.

It left little room for control and as they didn't even bother to take their clothes off at first, it was very clear, to anyone but the both of them. Through their heavy making out, urgent attempts at disrobing, still not one piece of clothing actually got taken off. The sheer force they went for each other at, the ability to hold back just enough was beginning to slip. It got to where they were almost meeting dangerous levels even before they had their cocks fully out. It they were in a better mind state, Kurt would have felt the sting of pain when Sebastian grabbed onto his arm so tightly in the heat of passion, and it was already starting to bruise. Kurt didn't even register the pain. Adrenaline ran through his body, heightening the experience, and his cock had long taken over any common sense.

The young pair started with their lips, biting, suck and kissing each other, not holding back, their mouths wide open and demanding, their tongues not showing any restraint. All they wanted to do was vent their anger in the usual way but not at the normal level. So focused on pleasure they were and dealing with their outburst in the best possible way, that their minds barely registered what they were doing, to themselves or each other. Bodies rutted against each other until they almost became physical blows, bites left more than mere love marks, almost coming to break the skin. Most of all, there was no bothering with foreplay, or talking, all they wanted was to use each other until they were spent.

“Just fuck me!” Kurt ordered with a fierce need.

“Shut the fuck up!” Sebastian barked as his free hand rooted through Kurt's top dresser drawer and grabbed his stash of lube and condoms.

Neither of them bothered to do any prep work, they were hot, bothered and both wanted only one thing. They didn't even bother to fully disrobe, only pulling their pants and underwear down enough to expose what was needed. Sebastian pushed Kurt against the dresser and Kurt grabbed the edge with his hands, bracing himself from the force he met. Sebastian barely managed to roll the condom on properly and slicked it up with hardly enough lube before he was pressing into Kurt and he let the pleasure surging through him take control.

There was still no urge to speak as Sebastian began to pound into Kurt's ass; the only sound of their winded gasps and moaning broke the silence. The raw lust and need for release was the only priority in that moment. Kurt pushed himself with full force onto Sebastian's cock, meeting his forward thrusts and they shouted at the moment of impact. Once more Kurt was numb to the feeling of Sebastian's hands tightly on Kurt's hips. Red imprints were visible, presently ignored, but there.

“Harder dammit!” Kurt ordered.

“Do you want to be able to walk?” Sebastian grunted.

The need to come was overpowering everything in their bodies, or they would have noticed the warnings signs. That in their haste and anger, they were becoming far too rough with each other for it to be regular angry sex. Kurt stopped giving orders or shouting anything, and Sebastian simply continued to snap his hips forward with too much force. The wet slapping noise of them fucking while holding nothing back filled the bedroom. There was no need to speak and do anything but focus on their need for release as they both edged towards reaching orgasm. They had crossed a line in their anger and at that moment they had no idea of the consequences that would be left behind.

“Fucking shit!” Kurt finally screamed and broke the silence as he came.

Sebastian simply let out a muffled grunt as he continued to slam into Kurt's hot and ready ass and when Kurt's muscles clamped around his cock he fell over the cliff of release and came hard and fast. Only he didn't say anything in response, his mind was barely working as he could only pant heavily. Neither of them bothered to move or even speak for a while time after that. Sebastian slumped forward so his head came to rest on Kurt's shoulder.

Sex between the pair had never been like this before, this raw or intensified and it was almost off setting. But soon it became clear to the both of them that they weren't done yet. Sebastian pulled out of Kurt and hungrily looked at him and saw the need on Kurt's face and he grabbed for him. “Get on the fucking bed,” Sebastian ordered, his voice loud and very demanding.

If it had been anyone else and in any other situation, even Kurt might of been scared by the tone, but Kurt didn't back down from it. Instead he met it head on and even remaining in what was normally seen as the submission role, he still had the upper hand. Kurt shuffled backward as grabbed for Sebastian, pushed him hard onto the bed and glared down at him, like he was worthless, just some tool to give Kurt the pleasure he craved. Sebastian didn't find this alarming, it fact it was turning him on even more, anger driven sex was his favourite kind and before meeting Kurt, he had never met someone who was his match, or as near as possible.

“God I hate you,” Kurt hissed through clenched teeth.

“Save the flattery for later, I wanna fuck,” Sebastian growled as he reached for Kurt.

Kurt in turned threw himself onto Sebastian and rough hands barely managed to take his clothing off without ripping any fabric. Kurt, not trusting Sebastian with his own clothes, pulled his shirt off as Sebastian made quick work of his own pants. When they were both finally fully naked, Kurt ripped the condom on Sebastian's back pocket of his jeans before tossing them on the floor. “I'm riding you,” he shouted, showing it wasn't a request.

Sebastian didn't bother to protest as Kurt set to work. Finally, the condom was slid on, proving they would never be pissed off enough to forget that. Kurt slid down onto Sebastian’s still hard cock and let out a half sob. Fuck. It felt so incredible, and he only needed to feel good. Sebastian’s hands reached for Kurt and he simply batted them away, refusing the aid as he began to rock up and down on his length. Kurt hands pressed on Sebastian's blazing hipbones, nails digging into his skin. Without bothering to add any more lube before having a second round of rough sex, it wasn't enough to avoid pain. Kurt was still numb to it, too focused on the task at hand, and he didn’t he tell Sebastian to stop or ease up with his sharp thrusting.

“Either move faster or let me move you myself,” Sebastian yelled and he broke through Kurt's attempts to keep total control. Grabbing onto Kurt's hips, he sat up on the bed, crossing his legs under Kurt and with the added force, things got loud and even more urgent. “Holy shit!” Sebastian shouted.

“Fuck! Fucking Hell, Sebastian!” Kurt sobbed as Sebastian bore into him, to the point where he felt like his ass would tear apart. He didn't stop, he couldn't. He was too addicted to the feeling of Sebastian inside his tight ass. Suddenly he felt the familiar rush and Sebastian's body begin to tense up at the climax, they both shouted in unison as they came at the same time.

This time, no matter how tired or sore they felt, it was still ignored. Sebastian, with fierce aggression, pushed Kurt hard onto the bed, face up with his back pressed into the mattress. Sebastian could barely hold himself back as he stood up to grab another condom, roll it onto his throbbing cock and entered Kurt's enticing hole for a third time, again with no extra lube.

“Fuck me raw!” Kurt barked as they picked up the pace. It hurt and Kurt could no longer dismiss that fact. Still, he was used to pain, and it was nothing compared to the pleasure he was experiencing. So he simply tried to ignore the burning sting from the rough force that Sebastian moved them along as he pounded in and out of Kurt. Nor did he think of how sore he would feel afterwards, he was totally in the moment and all Kurt, and Sebastian, cared about was coming. “Oh god!” he moaned, not allowing himself to admit he was in over his head.

“Bitch and whine all you want I'm not stopping, you brought this on yourself!” Sebastian muttered in anger.

“Does it sound like I'm fucking complaining... Shit!” Kurt began to shout back but he was rendered silent as another surge of pleasure shot through him. Damn the bastard. How could someone be this good at sex, regardless of how much action he got? Kurt wasn't about to consider the answer, instead he unclenched his arms from around Sebastian's neck. Dragging down his back, his nails leaving red lines, until after feeling one hard stab, he ended up breaking skin. Kurt brought his mouth on Sebastian's shoulder, muffling his cries, not wanting to break the mood.

Sebastian himself had no idea he was breaking his one rule, never hurt anyone during sex, but if Kurt wasn't about to enlighten him, he was fine to remain naive to crossing that line. He himself was ignoring the throbbing the pain in his back as he thrust into Kurt. Kurt hid his discomfort well from his face, as they powered through their angry race towards the finish line. He felt Kurt's hard cock pressed between their stomachs and Kurt let out a cry, proving the added friction was becoming too much to handle. All they were focused own where their own individual needs and they used each other to reach orgasm as they rutted their hot bodies together.

“Shit! Shit! Oh my fucking god, yes!” Kurt screamed with pleasure.

Kurt brought his legs to wrap around Sebastian's hips as he rocked under his heavy weight while Sebastian fucked him into the mattress with all his might. Sebastian normally never bothered much with the missionary position, nor did Kurt. The added eye contact wasn't needed when they chose to fornicate; it brought no extra intimacy between them. Even now whey there were in that very position, it didn't make them feel any closer, it merely proved how sexual charged they were at that moment. Thrusts became stabs towards the end of things and soon Kurt would reach his breaking point, literally, or in an over dramatic metaphor at least.

“Why are you still so fucking tight!” Sebastian shouted. They were both reaching their limit once again and Sebastian didn't even try to hold out to be last to come again. Muscles began to spasm from the force of their coupling and Sebastian felt the familiar sensation rush through him and he tensed up with a shudder and came.

Kurt let out a small whimper as he came at almost the same time as Sebastian and his sticky come clung to their sweat covered bodies. Sebastian arms came out from under him and he collapsed onto Kurt's chest and berried his head in his neck. They could feel each other’s fast beating hearts and hear their gasping breaths as they lay there silently. Kurt finally released his legs from around Sebastian and slid them back down to rest on the bed. Sebastian made no effort to move off of him and Kurt didn't have the energy to push him off.

The fuck buddies chose to lie there silently, with Sebastian's softening cock still deep inside Kurt, in dead shocked silence. Kurt had no idea what to say or how to react to what they had just done together. It had never been that intense and Kurt began to register the pain in his ass from the result. “Fuck... what the hell did we just do?” Kurt muttered finally.

Kurt felt Sebastian's muffled laughter from his face still being pressed against his shoulder, feeling Sebastian's warm breath on his skin. “I don't know...” he admitted.

“Can we even call that angry sex?” Kurt wheezed.

“Are you still angry?” Sebastian asked as he pulled his head up and looked at Kurt's tired face.

“No,” Kurt admitted weakly.

“There's your answer then,” Sebastian commented.

“I think that even went past hot animal sex, Sebastian, fuck my ass feels like...” Kurt began to mutter but he stopped, not wanting to admit how much pain he was in now that sex was no longer distracting his senses.

Sebastian's first clue to Kurt's condition was his verbal slip up, while the second was far more clear. When Sebastian finally began to pull out of Kurt, his position on top of Kurt gave him the perfect view to see his sex partner wince in pain from the movement. Sebastian frowned, noticing how hard Kurt was trying to hide it, and in that moment, he broke character. Sebastian moved the damp strands of hair from Kurt's eyes and for the first time, his usual smug expression changed to concern. “I hurt you,” he whispered.

Kurt eyed Sebastian. He had no idea how to judge or take in the comment. Was he crazy with pain or was Sebastian actually showing remorse? But Kurt was no longer one that bothered with tender sentiment and he knew the man on top of him held the same views. “I didn't tell you to stop,” Kurt scoffed.

The way Sebastian was acting now was very unnerving, as was his own reaction to it. Throughout their sexual encounters so far, Kurt and Sebastian had never done anything that could be considered tender. There was no pillow talk, no cuddling, and no lying in each other’s arms. The few times they had slept in the same bed after sex had only happened since they were too tired to move. This time it wasn't any different when it came to how worn out they both were. The mood they were in, however, left them both confused.

Still, there was one thing Kurt knew hadn't changed despite the awkward air surrounding them both. “I don't love you,” he announced suddenly.

Sebastian's response to the vocal rejection was to begin to laugh, breaking the weird tension between them. No matter what had occurred, Kurt Hummel was still as snarky as usual and for that, Sebastian was very relieved. He could resume being his normal cocky self as well now. “I know and thank fucking god! Cause I don't love you either. In fact I don't even like you right now, you fucking ripped my back up with your claws,” Sebastian hissed as he rolled off Kurt, chucking the condom into the trashcan. His back was throbbing with pain and he didn't bother to get off the bed, he was too sore and tired to move. Coming to lie on his side, with his back to Kurt was all he could manage to accomplish.

Kurt rolled forward on his side to see Sebastian's back and the state it was in, feeling a twinge of guilt at the red marks; not to mention the small streaks of blood on his sheets. Oh well, he needed a better bed set anyway. When had he done that? It was probably when Sebastian had been fucking him senseless he realized. “Okay I'm sorry for that but considering how much my ass hurts right now, not to mention my hips... or my arm. Can we just call it even and forget about it?” Kurt muttered.

“Dunno, you broke skin on me,” Sebastian muttered.

Kurt rolled his eyes and forced himself to sit up a bit, grabbing onto Sebastian's shoulder and pulling him backwards. Kurt chose to make his own injuries more noticed and he held his left arm out, to show the large bruise mark already forming.

Sebastian's narrowed his eyes as he focused on the darkened mark, making him realize the true consequences when you didn't hold back during sex. “Fucking hell! I didn't mean to do that,” Sebastian stuttered. He was crappy at apologies and it showed, this was why he was normally so careful during sex, to avoid things like this. Why did he have to bother to have any morals? Sebastian began to regret it, too late now. There was no turning back.

Kurt proved he wasn't an average bedmate and simply shook his head at Sebastian in annoyance. “Don't be such a drama queen! I know you didn't, you wank. We were obviously thinking with our cocks. I might be in a lot of pain now that it's over, but considering how hard I came, three times in a row, I can live with the painful results. That being said, I am very glad I'll have a week away to recover,” Kurt grumbled as he lied back down on the bed, hissing in pain. “Cause I think I'm gonna need it,” he moaned.

“Bitching is such a second nature to you isn't it,” Sebastian taunted.

“Shut up,” Kurt said, before letting out a loud yawn. Fuck he was tired. He truly wished he didn't have to start off to see Mercedes soon, considering it was still the early morning. On the other hand, getting away from San Francisco, and more importantly Sebastian, was a tempting notion.

“Aren't you supposed to be driving down to LA soon? Gonna have the energy to stay awake?” Sebastian asked as he settled down to take a power nap, not bothering to head off to his own bedroom.

“I'm fine!” Kurt snapped but his drooping eyes proved other wise. “I'm just gonna rest my eyes for a bit...” he began to mumble sleepily. But as soon as he closed his eyes the need to sleep overpowered him and he crashed completely, joining Sebastian beside him in a long and deep sleep.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sebastian awoke to the song Single Ladies and he growled in protest and tried to move. Only to discover Kurt was pressed up against him, his arm thrown over his waist. He blinked his eyes open in surprise and glared at him. Fuck his back hurt, and his hips were actually sore, he hadn't intended for their anger during sex to go that far, but despite the injuries he had sustained he wasn't really complaining either. What he was angry about was that Kurt had invaded his personal space. He poked Kurt in the ribs and his blue eyes snapped open in anger. “Either answer your fucking phone or I will,” Sebastian growled.

Kurt shot up in alarm and was met with pain in various areas from the sudden movement. “Shit!” he swore.

He leaned over the bed and began to search for his phone. What time was it? He had stupidly fallen asleep and as his mind woke up a bit more he knew it was Mercedes calling him, wondering where he was. Since he had promised to call her when he had left his place for hers. Kurt dug the phone out of his discarded pants and hit the answer button without even looking at the screen. He brought it up to his ear and sat back down on the bed with a tired groan. “ Hi! I'm sorry I fell asleep!” he muttered weakly.

“Is that Blaine?” Sebastian asked as he leaned over Kurt and brought his head closer to the phone. It was clear to Kurt that he knew it wasn't, that he wanted Mercedes to hear his voice to get a reaction from Kurt.

The only reason Kurt wasn't exploding with anger was he knew since Mercedes couldn't see their state of undress, he could simply say Sebastian was nearby and that he was his roommate. “Hold on a sec, Mercedes,” he muttered and brought his phone away from his ear as he glared at Sebastian and pushed his face away with his hand. “Fuck off. Sebastian,” he whispered.

“Well hello there, Mercedes,” Sebastian suddenly said smoothly.

Kurt gave him a weird look in surprise, “Why the fuck are you saying hello to her?” he blurted out.

“Because I can see her face, you should too... the look of shock on it is very entertaining,” Sebastian answered smugly.

Kurt just continued to glare at him with confusion, “What are you...” he muttered.

“Uh, Kurt, I'm on video chat with you,” Mercedes's voice suddenly announced.

Kurt shot up in alarm once again when it finally clicked in, because from the way Kurt was holding his phone. Mercedes had a perfect view of the very naked Sebastian beside him on the bed in addition to his own naked torso and he swore loudly. “Fuck!” Kurt shouted as he quickly pulled the sheet above his and Sebastian's waists, hiding their groins for Mercedes' sake. There was no point in trying to deny what Mercedes had to be thinking. “This is... uh...” Kurt began to stutter.

“I think she knows what this is, Kurt,” Sebastian commented with a grin.

Kurt moved his phone so she could only see him from the waist up and away from Sebastian as he felt the colour rise to his now bright red cheeks. “I... shit! Mercedes, I'm sorry I didn't realize... I thought you just called me!”

“Yeah I got that, I also see why you're late, had something better to do,” Mercedes commented.

“You mean someone!” Sebastian said with a chuckle.

“Shut the fuck up! Just go!” Kurt hissed to Sebastian as he began to shove him off the bed, ignoring the dull pain coursing through his body.

Sebastian finally relented and walked out of the room, not bothering to get his clothing off the floor as he went. When Kurt was alone to face Mercedes, though he knew Sebastian hadn't gone far, all he could do at first was let out a large sigh. “I guess there's no chance we could forget all of this,” Kurt groaned as he ran his hand over his face in embarrassment.

“I'm afraid not... start talking, Kurt. Who's the guy I just saw far too much of?” Mercedes's demanded.

“He's... that was Sebastian, he's my roommate,” Kurt answered quickly.

“Bad answer, Kurt!” Sebastian called from outside his doorway.

“I didn't ask you to help!” Kurt shouted back at him.

“Uh huh sure, funny because I've never been that close with my roommates. So yeah, he's right, try again,” Mercedes said.

Kurt groaned in protest but there was no escaping it. “He's not my boyfriend and he is my roommate, I wasn't lying... look can we save the whole story until we see each other in person?” he pleaded.

“Oh you're still coming over then?” Mercedes asked mockingly.

“Yes, I'll start making my way there as soon as this call is over,” Kurt assured her.

“Okay fine. I'll be gracious and drop the subject for now. But only if you promise you'll tell me everything when you get your late ass here. Deal?” Mercedes told him.

“Deal! Thanks Mercedes and I'm sorry... I... shit... why does the world hate me so much!” Kurt shouted in anger.

“I don't think you're ready to open up that can of worms, Kurt. Just start driving here and we'll deal with it together okay? If you'll let me that is... I care about you too much to let you push me away. Even if I've seen you naked now,” Mercedes informed him.

“Oh my god!” Kurt said, he felt mortified. Though it could have been worse, it could have been his father on the phone. “Just make sure we have a good supply of alcohol and I'll fess up,” Kurt assured her.

“Alright then, I'll see you in the evening now. Have a safe trip, Kurt,” Mercedes told him with a warm smile.

Kurt was just relieved that she wasn't teasing him and he just nodded, “Right, bye,” he said softly and ended the call and threw himself back on the bed with a thud, hissing in pain on impact.

He felt horrible now, embarrassed and he dreaded the impending conversation with Mercedes. But he knew it couldn't be avoided and he sighed. Kurt stood up and headed over to the bathroom to take a shower. Kurt found Sebastian just walking out of it, there still was no anger left in him so he didn't get snarky for once. “I know it's impossible but I swear you had something to do with that,” he announced.

Sebastian's response was to smile smugly as usual as he reached out and ran his hand down Kurt's shoulder and he passed him by. “I wish it had happened because of me, but sorry I did something else to make us fucking known to Mercedes,” Sebastian said as he pushed Kurt towards the mirror.

Kurt studied his reflection and he felt some of his anger return to him, but it was still far less for his standards. He instantly noticed all the hickey and bite marks all over his body. “How many fucking marks did you give me?” he hissed through clenched teach.

“Enough that you won't be able to hide them all,” Sebastian replied.

“You fucking prick!” Kurt muttered as he stepped into the shower and turned the water on. Sebastian stepped further into the bathroom but didn't join him and Kurt was grateful.

“At least there's no need to lie to her about our being fuck buddies now. Also Blaine won't see the state you're in either. Just the entire populace of Los Angeles and you claim you don't give a fuck about anything remember?” Sebastian pointed out.

“So the argument and the sex that followed was all for my benefit then?” Kurt asked mockingly as he began to wash his skin.

“Don't be so full of yourself, I did it for me, I knew you had to explode to be tolerable to live with again. What I didn't bet on was it getting so intense there, but whatever, the sex was good in the end so I'm fine. Just trim your nails next time okay?” Sebastian commented. “Least the eight hour drive to LA will give you lots of time to think,” he added.

Kurt sighed, “Yeah, I'll get there later than planned now but I don't care. I could really use this time away from here and to myself.”

Sebastian eyed him. “Not planning to run away for good are you?” he asked.

Kurt laughed. “No! I've got two more years of school to finish here first remember. No, despite how... weird things got there, it's fine, and we’re fine. Because as usual there was no emotion to involved. I already know you've forgotten about it so I will too. When I return a week from now I expect things to be pretty much the same,” Kurt said as he finished washing his hair.

Sebastian watched Kurt as he walked out of the shower and began his skin routine, he was feeling bored by the verbal exchange already so he just shrugged. “Yeah whatever, I'll doubt I'll even notice your absence and I'll be happy to keep Blaine company,” he muttered and walked into the shower himself. “The question I'm wondering is, will you be able to walk to your car?”

“Yes, I won't bother to lie and say I'm not feeling pain right now...” Kurt sighed. “But I can deal with that and I don't intend to have any sex while I'm gone, so that will be enough time to heal.”

“Maybe take a cushion to sit on for the long drive?” Sebastian suggested with a laugh.

Kurt just rolled his eyes at Sebastian and headed back to his room to get dressed, thank god he was already packed and ready to go. He glanced as his clock when he was back in his room and he nodded in approval, it was still only 10:30 in the morning. Even with the delay he'd still end up at Mercedes's before it got super late. He figured he'd get there before seven or at least eight in the evening, even with his plans to stop for a break at the half-way point. He walked over to his vanity and began to hide all the visible marks Sebastian had left with concealer. Kurt was glad he had been smart enough to buy waterproof, since in LA's extreme heat he'd start sweating for sure.

After that Kurt quickly got dressed into his planned outfit for the trip and collected his luggage and car keys and made his way for the door. Relieved that for the most part he didn't flinch or hiss in pain every time he moved. He didn't even bother to tell Sebastian he was leaving as he opened the front door and started off to his car. Once his luggage was loaded up in his trunk and Kurt had all his supplied needed for the road trip, GPS, map and most importantly enough music to listen to. Kurt piled into the drivers seat and brought out his phone, he sent Mercedes a quick text saying he was leaving. After that he remind himself about Blaine and a small smile spread across his face as he called him up.

“Oh hey, Kurt, so where are you now?” Blaine's voice asked in his usual friendly tone when he picked up.

“Uh actually, there was a slight set back, I'm heading off now,” Kurt explained. The fact that Blaine knew about him and Sebastian hooking up was hard to forget, but he pushed it aside. “Just wanted to say hi before I start off,” he added.

“That's considerate of you, I hope you have a good time...” Blaine began, but he hesitated as his mind sent him an image of Kurt walking hand in hand down Hollywood Boulevard with some hot guy and he started to feel annoyed.

“Thanks, I'm really looking forward to it. My best friend from high school, Mercedes, lives there now. I haven't seen her in ages,” Kurt explained, he figured that as far as Blaine was concerned, there was no need to keep such a trivial detail hidden from him. Kurt told himself that telling Blaine this had nothing to do with what Sebastian preached to him earlier.

Blaine couldn't stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief; he knew Sebastian had been just messing with his head. Now that Blaine had the truth to prove it he felt slightly sheepish over how much it had affected him. “Have a good time Kurt, just remember to wear a ton of sunblock,” he replied playfully.

Kurt began to chuckle and it felt good to be able to laugh again and it was all thanks to Blaine. “Thanks, I intend to get a killer tan while I'm there,” Kurt commented.

“Well I won't keep you any longer, you've got one heck of a drive ahead of you. Surprised you didn't just take a plane, or even the train.”

Kurt began to start up his car and sighed. “I could use the hours of solitude, beside it's more of an adventure that way,” Kurt explained.

“Well then happy exploring, Kurt, bye!” Blaine said.

“Bye, Blaine,” Kurt told him in response and he ended the call.

Kurt pulled out of the parking lot and down the road that would lead to the freeway. He reached his arm forward and pressed play on his iPhone that he had hooked up to his car's stereo. Kurt's eyes never left the road ahead of his as the first song to the Wicked soundtrack started and he let go of everything that had been tugging at his mind.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt ended up making it to Mercedes in rather good time, leading him to pull into her driveway of her house when it was almost 8pm.

Mercedes was waiting outside for him already, a big smile on her face, Kurt grinned back at her and he put his car into park. The whole solitary drive had been very therapeutic for Kurt, that now he was feeling very relaxed and mellow. Despite the fact that he still had to explain the whole episode with Sebastian to her, having allowed himself to listen to show tunes for the entire trip had been a good call. Kurt barely had time to climb out of his car before Mercedes' came at him with a tackling hug. Kurt made a muffled 'oof' sound as she came in contact with him and he fought the urge to wince from the pain that met him. “Oh my god, Mercedes, I'm so happy to see you!” He shouted as he hugged her back with all his might.

Mercedes began to laugh happily and they finally broke apart but she only reached out to run a hand through his hair, which Kurt began to hiss in protest. “Not the hair!” he groaned.

“First off I have to say, Kurt, you look amazing! I mean I know you know how to bring it but your outfit! You managed to dress to impress without all your usual layers,” Mercedes exclaimed in approval.

Kurt grinned at her; he was currently dressed in a pair of grey shorts that were rolled up to stop just above the knee. His shirt was a simple light teal tank top and the navy blazer he had started out wearing was now thrown over his shoulder. The final touch was a pair of slip on canvas shoes and a large pair of stylish sunglasses. “Why thank you, I made the clothes myself,” he said with pride.

“Really? Why doesn't that surprise me,” Mercedes began to chuckle. She then hugged him again and they both laughed together. “It's been far too long since I've seen you, Kurt, it has to be what... like over a year now,” She commented.

Kurt just nodded as they walked over to his trunk, opened it up and she helped him bright out his suitcases. “I know and I'm sorry, I'm the one to blame for that,” he muttered.

“I was starting to wonder what you wanted to keep hidden from me so badly but after this morning, I think I have a better idea,” Mercedes said with a smirk as she took one of his bags and lead him to her front door.

Kurt groaned. Of course they had to start that particular discussion right from the start, but he realized it was probably good to get it over and done with. “Wanna go there already? Sure, just you better have some sort of liquor inside that house,” Kurt warned.

“I think it's for the best and yeah I got that covered. I had planned for us to go out and party at my favourite club. But considering what you have to tell me is sort of private we'll just go hang in my room. One of my two roommates is home, but unlike yours she doesn't tend to hang in my room, at least not being naked or without an invitation, to just hang out. She's actually offered to share the dinner she's cooking since I know you must be starving by now,” Mercedes explained as they made their way inside the house.

Kurt stopped to scan the hallway and the living room in front of him, Mercedes had given him the virtual tour through her laptop when she had first moved in. But it was still nice to see the house in person; Mercedes' shared it with two other girls who went to her school.

As they walked past the kitchen Mercedes paused and the pair saw her roommate that she had mentioned stirring something at the stove. She noticed their arrival and greeted Kurt with a small smile. Kurt was hoping when he was forced to be in a apartment that could be like Blaine's, the fact that they were all female would make it easier to cope with. Though from the times Mercedes had complained about her roommates, he knew it wasn't always a house full of friendly co-habitation.

“So you made it in one piece I see, hope you're hungry,” she said to him.

The long drive had given Kurt plenty of time to figure out how'd he'd act during the visit. He decided to let it be a vacation from his usual snark and standoffish ways and be less defensive. Of course if Kurt was pushed or found a reason to revert to his usual self, he would do so without hesitation. But even with Mercedes having found out about him and Sebastian having sex, he wasn't about to fully explain all the changes to his life. So while he was in LA, Kurt decided he would settle between his two clashing personalities, the old high school Kurt and the and improved new college version. So there was no risk of reverting fully back to his unguarded self, or being too cold and causing his best friend any concern. “Yeah I'm starving,” he assured her.

“Valerie this is Kurt, Kurt, this is Valerie,” Mercedes said as she introduced them.

“Charmed,” Kurt said to her casually.

“Like wise. This will take a while so go rest or whatever,” Valerie told them and the pair continued their journey to Mercedes' bedroom.

Kurt and Mercedes finished piling up all of his stuff in the corner of her room and Kurt sat down on her bed with a small groan, making sure to sit down slowly and avoid flinching in pain. But the effort turned out to be futile.

“Feeling a bit sore? Worn out maybe?” Mercedes teased.

Kurt sighed, but he didn't tell her to fuck off or anything like he would of with anyone else. As much as Kurt knew it had been the right choice to harden up, he never wanted to be like that around her, at least not completely. “I guess I deserve that remark,” he admitted weakly.

“You think? Didn't you tell me the idea of you having a secret boyfriend was insane?” Mercedes reminded him as she came to sit beside him.

Kurt glared at her, “I already told you he's not my boyfriend... we're just having casual sex,” he told her.

Just as he had expected Kurt saw her face change from surprise to concern at the confession. “Are you serious? It's your life, Kurt, and everything but I'm sorry, you have to see why I'd be surprised to learn this,” Mercedes muttered.

“Yeah well, as long as you remember why the hopeless romantic in me died Mercedes. Because I haven't, I know I'll never be able to forget. I can never allow myself to trust someone like that again, even if I did believe in things like love, which I don't by the way. The only reason I've kept this arrangement of mine and Sebastian's from you is I knew how you'd react to it. I'm not saying I don't realize you're just worried for me. But let me assure you, I'm fine, this is all I want and it works for me. I'm sorry you had to find out so... graphically but I'd like to hope it won't ruin my visit. I adore you and I'm not ashamed of my sex life, but I don't want to hear a whole lecture,” Kurt told her.

Mercedes let out an exasperated sigh as she got up from the bed and walked over to her mini fridge. She brought out two bottles and handed a cooler to Kurt as she eyed him. “Fine, but not until I hear how this whole 'arrangement' with Sebastian happened. After that then we'll let it go and enjoy our time together. But don't think I won't call you on out it now and then it the chance appears,” she told him.

Kurt opened up his bottle and took a long drink, after letting out a long breath he smirked at Mercedes. “I guess that's a fair exchange,” he admitted.

After Kurt finished telling the whole story of him meeting and losing his virginity to Sebastian and what lead to them becoming fuck buddies and roommates he was relieved to get it all past him. But Mercedes, it seemed had one more opinion on the matter to comment on first.

“So you're okay then, it's a mutual thing right?” Mercedes asked him warningly.

Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes because of the serious look on her face. “Yes, why would you even ask that?” he asked her.

“Because in addition to all of the hickeys you're trying to hide, and how you keep flinching, I couldn't help but notice that,” Mercedes explained as she pointed to the darkening bruise on his forearm.

Kurt glanced and it and let out a deep breath. “That? Oh no that was... not intentional, things just got sort of... intense there for a moment. I'm no saint either though; I scratched up Sebastian's back pretty bad so we're even on that front. But don't worry Mercedes, he's a selfish dick but he would never intentionally hurt me,” Kurt assured her and he was surprised how easily he had admitted that fact.

He could still remember the undeniable look of concern on Sebastian's face when he said he had hurt him. That still didn't make Kurt forget what an ass he was and he knew there was no danger of him developing any feelings for him, ever.

“Whatever, as long as you're sure,” Mercedes commented.

“I wouldn't fuck him if I wasn't, or let him fuck me,” Kurt replied.

“So which way does it usually go then?” Mercedes asked with a smirk, referring to who topped or bottomed.

Kurt's face smiled at her playfully. “Shut up,” he told her with a smirk.

End Notes: Writing for my version of Sebastian in this story is always tricky. There's a fine line to walk along, first and foremost he is a jerk. But he usually holds himself back just enough. In this chapter he goes over the line, then jumps back. I hope I managed that decently, it can be tough at times.

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