Kurt ended up surprising Blaine by coming to see him in person the first full day he was back from New York. Blaine couldn't even try to hide how much that fact delighted him and he suddenly felt almost bashful when he greeted Kurt at the door. Then he was quick to notice, as usual Kurt looked amazing, this time being dressed in a simple yet stylish green grey long sleeve shirt, tight black skinny jeans and a skull print light brown scarf that had to be by Alexander McQueen. It made Blaine’s own outfit choice of a red and white striped polo shirt and a pair of shorts boring by comparison. Seeing Kurt in the flesh after two weeks only made him realize how much he had missed him. This was a detail that Blaine somehow managed to keep hidden, though as usual it wasn't easy to accomplish. “Hey there, Kurt! It's great to see you,” Blaine said as he grinned at him.

Kurt smile was more subdued but no less genuine as he let Blaine usher him into his apartment. “Welcome back Blaine, ready for a night of fun?” he asked.

Blaine laughed lightly. If Sebastian had said the same thing his tone would of suggested a different type of fun. But with Kurt there was no chance for any misunderstanding, which was almost a shame. “Oh you bet! Are we going to Feeling then?” he asked.

“No, I thought it was time to mix it up a bit. We're going to another club that's closer to your place,” Kurt began to explain; he then saw that Michael and Nick were sitting at the couch playing some video game. He walked up behind them and leaned on the couch, bringing his head between them. “And you two are more than welcome to join us. I don't think your girlfriend would protest going to a gay club either, Nick,” Kurt told them with a grin.

“How can any guy, straight or gay say no to a night out on the town?” Nick replied with a laugh.

“Sure I'm game, I missed out the last time,” Michael added.

“Excellent boys! This will be a proper welcome back party then,” Kurt said with satisfaction.

Blaine could only start to smile warmly at the three of them, it was clear that Kurt was trying to make up for his actions the last time he was here. In fact it was almost like Kurt was a totally different person, the question was, which one was the real Kurt Hummel. As the three of them began to chatter away Blaine's smile began to change to a look of confusion. To anyone who didn't know Kurt well, like his roommates, nothing would of seemed out of place. But for Blaine, it was alarming how different he was acting, though not so much in words, Kurt's usual ridged body language was loose and easy and Blaine couldn't help but stare at the scene in front of him in shock. Kurt had long passed just trying to be friendlier towards acting the complete opposite of how he usually was. Even when Kurt and Blaine were alone, he never allowed himself to be this open, this natural, or Blaine assumed this was him being natural.

“Better dress to impress then...” Kurt began playfully but then he saw the look Blaine was giving him and he paused. “What's up with you Blaine? Are you ill?” he asked.

“Who are you?" Blaine muttered before he could think. If he had thought before he spoke he would of seen what a bad call saying that had been. But Kurt was just acting too different he had no time to recover from the surprise.

Kurt became very still as he stared at Blaine's shocked face, he had been so focused on making up for his leaving the morning when he crashed at their place. That Kurt hadn't noticed how much he had let his guard down, this was the same problem he had the last time. That the whole positive air of the place made Kurt confused, so that he didn't know how to act. It was infuriating and Kurt fought the urge to become aloof and push them away. Because once again they had done nothing wrong. “I... shit!” Kurt shouted as he struggled to recover. Only it wasn't working that well and he knew he was teetering towards breaking down.

Michael and Nick sensed something bigger than they could imagine was happening so they took the silence to make their escape. Nick stood up and started down the hall that lead to the bedrooms. “I'm just going to go get dressed then,” he muttered.

“Yeah me too,” Michael agreed as he hurried after him and out of sight.

When they were alone Blaine could only look at Kurt and for the first time he could tell what he was feeling and that sent off warning singles in Blaine's mind. Kurt was afraid, no terrified and Blaine had no clue why. “Kurt... what's wrong?” he asked with concern.

Kurt kept his mouth clenched shut as his lips began to quiver from the sheer force of holding himself together. He wrapped his arms tightly around his chest and grabbed his shoulders, as if it would add an extra layer of protection. But there was no bully in front of him; no words of hate and ignorance, only the look of concern and caring and the emotions that it brought forth in Kurt were destroying the inner barriers of his scared mind. When Blaine stepped forward Kurt on instinct lunged backward so his back end hit the back of the couch. “Don't Blaine... I'm sorry I can't...” he warned, the plea was almost a half sob from the strain.

Blaine felt helpless at first but he didn't give up trying to comfort his friend and he walked up to Kurt, he was crying Blaine realized. He looked at Kurt's tear stained cheeks and Blaine's heart began to ache, with the need to comfort the boy he loved, to protect him and reassure him, to make everything right. “Kurt, let me help, it doesn't make you weak. I promise I won't hurt you,” He said soothingly as he got up close.

“I want to believe you Blaine, but it's not possible. Here you are offering everything and wanting nothing in return and my mind keeps telling me not to trust you. I'm sorry; I can't believe I'm so fucked up that I'm breaking down like this. It's just so hard sometimes, to act like I don't care and to be so strong and superior. I don't regret ending up like this, it was the only option... but sometimes I just want to fucking give up! Because I don't know who I am anymore!” Kurt whimpered as his legs came out from under him and he slid down against the couch into a ball on the floor.

“You're not alone there Kurt, we're all messed up on some level believe me, I know I am. Just like I know that sometimes you can't stay strong all the time, no matter how hard you try. That the slightest thing can set you off....” Blaine began to tell him as he pulled Kurt back up to a standing position, stopping him from closing off from the world. “Don't run away Kurt, don't give in, and don’t give up because you're still you,” Blaine told him softly. When Kurt couldn't say anything in reply he let out a large sigh and he held open his arms. “Come here,” he urged.

Kurt shook his head. How come when Sebastian touched him he didn't flinch or hesitate, but when it was Blaine, he faltered. The answer was simple, what Blaine was offering with that touch was something Kurt didn't deserve, didn't believe in, didn't need, or he had thought he didn't. “No. I can't,” Kurt muttered as he made himself recover, harden back up, bringing forth the very memories that had changed him in the first place.

When he finally succeeded he looked back over at Blaine, he had planned to shrug it off. Only he saw the hurt in Blaine's eyes from the rejection to his touch and he began to crumble again. Kurt forgot about his walls, all the painful memories, everything that had shaped him into the man he was now and took Blaine fiercely into his arms, pressing their bodies together. Only the embrace wasn't sexual, wasn't carnal, it was genuine and the warmth it brought rocked him to his core. “I'm so sorry Blaine, I told you I'd only end up hurting you,” He said softly.

Blaine began to laugh awkwardly, but he couldn't help himself from resting his head on Kurt's shoulder and begin to breath him in. He had dreamed this, being in Kurt's arms, the reason for the embrace was far from idealistic, but it didn't diminish it. Blaine didn't want the tender moment to end but he knew it had to, if they wanted to move past it and not have their evening ruined. Blaine pulled back and touched Kurt's cheek lightly, seeing the guilt on his face. Blaine wanted to kiss him so bad, but instead he just smiled at him warmly. “I told you, you're not the only one who's messed up. We've all gone through shit Kurt, me included. And I'm not implying yours wasn't any better or worse. Just we all deal with it different ways,” Blaine pointed out.

Kurt closed his eyes and began to nod in agreement and he felt his strength begin to return to him. Until Kurt was finally able to laugh the whole breakdown off and leave it behind. Despite his private nature Kurt wanted to make one thing clear before he forgot the whole episode.

“Before we forget about it Blaine, you have to know, you have done nothing to cause this. It's hard to explain but being here, in such a natural and genuine atmosphere is off setting. I've changed so much to be able to survive that I can't live in normal society. That's why living with Sebastian works so well I think, because while it's not dangerous in any way, it's familiar. This person I've become and the lifestyle I've come to live by is to use to all the snark and knows how to deal with people like him. But when I'm here with you, when we're not alone I see that you're not just the exception to the rule. That there actual are genuinely kind people out there who don't look at me with judgment and I... I don't know how to deal with it. All I can think about is why the fuck didn't I get that in my life, that I did something to deserve everything that has happened to me. That I'm not worthy of being wanted... even as just a friend,” Kurt began to explain but he had to stop or he'd risk breaking down again.

Blaine ran his hand down Kurt's shoulder lightly as was glad to see he didn't flinch or pull away from the contact. “It's okay Kurt, thank you for trying to explain it to me. I understand now, I really do, so thank you. But if it's too hard for you, just forget about it. I actually like the man you've become, in addition to this version of you. I like them both and I wouldn't choose one over the other because they're all you, all my friend,” Blaine assured him.

Kurt just nodded and he was back. “Thank fucking god Sebastian wasn't here,” he said with a laugh.

“Actually he might have stopped it from happening,” Blaine had to admit. “Guess he has his uses,” he laughed.

Kurt laughed back at Blaine's point and the two of them let it move them forward and past the dramatic moment. Even when he wasn't in the room Sebastian had helped them and that was probably the reason why they both put up with him enough to consider him a friend. Without Sebastian to make things simpler, it might have been too hard with Kurt and Blaine wanting totally things from each other. With Sebastian Kurt could use him for what he wanted with no guilt, because he was doing the same thing to him. But with Blaine, Kurt felt like he was taking everything and giving Blaine nothing in return.

Michael and Nick fortunately chose that moment to return into the room and it broke the remaining tension. Kurt snapped back into his normal mannerism, making sure he didn't drop too much out of character this time. He eyed them both up and down and gave them an approving nod. “Yes that will do I guess, you are straight after all,” Kurt said with a smirk.

“Thanks, I think, you guys ready to party?” Nick asked as he clapped his hands together.

Kurt looked at Blaine who nodded with enthusiasm and Kurt began to chuckle. “Oh yes,” he announced.

“And drink!” Blaine added.
________________________________________________________________________

Either because they were both good actors or through the aid of alcohol, Kurt and Blaine ended up having a very fun night at the club. Once again Sebastian was the main reason, his cocky selfish attitude mixed things up and made it all casual and fun. Though as far as fun went for Sebastian, it was way more toned down and not sexual.

Kurt for one was back to normal and there were no signs that he had ever cracked under the pressure of it all. His breakdown was just another bitter memory to push down and be forgotten. Except, Kurt didn't want to forget all of it, not the warm feeling of Blaine in his arms, not wanting or expecting sex from the contact. For now he just let the lines of his memory blur till nothing was recognizable and he focused on the present. At the moment it was hard to do anything but laugh at Blaine as he started to dance with Nick and Michael.

“He doesn't have any game when he's drunk,” Sebastian muttered as he watched the three of them in disapproval.

“I don't think he's really ever tried to have any, Sebastian,” Kurt pointed out with a shrug.

Sebastian glanced over at Kurt and draped his arm over his shoulder, bringing his face close. “Let's show them how it's done huh?” he suggested.

Kurt made an annoyed face at first but let out a sigh in defeat. “Fine, only don't shove your tongue down my throat.” Kurt warned as he let Sebastian lead him out on the dance floor.

Sebastian hooked his finger in the front of Kurt's pants as they pushed their way through the crowd, pulling his fuck buddy along. Sebastian pressed up against Kurt from behind, bring his mouth close to the shorter mans ear. “Don't want those three to see how turned on I can make you feel huh?” Sebastian whispered as he ran his hands down Kurt's sides and came to rest them on his hips, their bodies pressed close together. Kurt growled in protest but he didn't bother to pull away and he upped the game by bringing his arms up to run his hands through Sebastian's hair, moving his hips and ass against Sebastian at the same time.

“I don't want anyone to see that,” Kurt said causally as they began to sway and dance to the music. It was still a game to them, like they were calling each other’s bluff. But Kurt was glad that Sebastian never tried to take things too far. He still knew his decision not to broadcast their sexual relationship was the right choice. Yet it was also clear that how they were dancing wasn't chaste so anyone who noticed them, Blaine and his friends included, might clue in anyway.

“Oh yeah they're totally fucking,” Nick told Blaine as he looked over at pair dancing.

“They are? Oh wait... yeah... they so are,” Michael agreed.

Blaine sighed; he wasn't going to let their display ruin his night for him. No, the sheer amount of booze in him wouldn't allow it. “Can't let them have all the fun,” Blaine muttered as he broke apart from his roommates and strutted over to the pair. Blaine pushed up at them until he forced his way between their close bodies and Kurt and Sebastian were now grinding against Blaine from both ends.

“How nice of you to join us, Blaine,” Sebastian said, not fazed by the additional dance partner.

“Just don't start groping him, Sebastian,” Kurt warned, since Sebastian had turned to face the front half of Blaine. Kurt had been surprised by Blaine's sudden arrival but he didn't bother to pull away and back off. Instead he simply placed his hands on Blaine's hips, making sure to keep his groin from touching Blaine's ass still, and went with it. Then as the music picked up the three of them released their hold on one another and just began to dance at a safer distance. Nick and Michael even joined them and that started off the rest of the night to be far more controlled but just as fun.

But eventually all nights must come to and end, even for the young. When it got late enough, or rather early enough since it was 3am, they all decided to call it a night. Kurt helped guide Blaine's unstable figure out of the building and onto the streets. Sebastian was still inside, getting some guy’s number and Nick and Jeff had gone to grab their jackets. So for the moment the pair were alone and Kurt decided to use that to his advantage.

“So Blaine, would it be totally inappropriate to give you a welcome back kiss? Strictly as a gesture of fellowship of course,” Kurt asked him innocently. If he had been slightly less intoxicated he might have realized what a bad idea it was.

“Probably but like I care! Come here and kiss away!” Blaine blurted out eagerly.

Kurt laughed and leaned forward to kiss Blaine full on the mouth, he had intended to keep it chaste but like last time their lips had touched, control was hard to maintain. The alcohol in their blood, lowering their inhibitions certainly wasn't helping either. The combined result of the drinks and their barely chained desire ended up being a dangerous combo. Normally Kurt would have stopped the kiss when Blaine's hands grabbed his waist and pulled him close, or when Kurt ran his hands through Blaine's curly locks. But as their lips opened and their tongues where added, increasing the pleasure of the experience, it was no use.

“How about we...” Blaine began to murmur through their kisses, only he didn't get the chance to finish.

“The fuck? How come I'm not allowed to tongue Blaine but you can, Kurt,” Sebastian announced as the pair broke apart from the sudden noise and turned in unison to see Sebastian grinning at them smugly, his arms crossed over his chest.

Kurt tried to shrug the whole show he had seen off, “Because I know when to stop,” but when Sebastian began to laugh in response, Kurt realized he was kidding himself.

“Really, because it sure didn't look like it,” Sebastian said as he walked over to them and slipped his arm around Blaine's waist suddenly. “Is it my turn next Blaine?” he asked seductively.

Blaine blinked as his mind began to clear. “Oh no, one error in judgment is enough for me. No offence Kurt, it was hot but... yeah...” Blaine muttered.

Kurt just nodded. “Stupid? Yeah I get that and here's the other two. Nick, Michael I trust we can leave Blaine in your care now?” he asked them.

Nick nodded and he pushed Sebastian away from Blaine and he complied without any protest. “Oh yeah, I know how to deal with a drunk Blaine, though he's not completely gone,” Nick replied.

Kurt sighed, so there wasn't much chance that Blaine would forget his error in judgment then, oh well what was done was done. “Noted, anyway tonight was fun boys. I'll call you later Blaine, glad you're back,” Kurt called as he turned and walked towards Sebastian who had hailed them a taxi. Despite the short walk home, Kurt was in no mood or a sober enough state to attempt to make it home on foot.

“Bye, Kurt!” Blaine shouted.

Kurt piled in beside Sebastian in the back seat of the cab and ignored the look he was giving him. Until it was starting to bother him and Kurt sighed. “Yes?” he hissed.

“Nothing,” he taunted and left Kurt alone after that.

Kurt wasn't sure what Sebastian was planning, because he knew that look meant he was up to something, but as usual he didn't bother to care.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Waking up the next morning and not vomiting had been a feat Kurt was proud about, not sleeping with Sebastian that night had been the other. Though that hadn't been hard since Sebastian hadn't approached him for sex and Kurt took no offence to it. All he was glad about was that it was his day off and so he didn't need to be anywhere. Kurt had nominated the day to be one of his recharge days where his only company would be himself. But before he could start the day he needed a cup of coffee to recharge his drained batteries.

“And he lives,” Sebastian announced sarcastically from his seat at the kitchen table.

Kurt just ignored his snide comment and stumbled onwards to the coffee machine and was surprised to find an already prepared steaming cup waiting for him. Kurt eyed the cup and then turned to eye Sebastian suspiciously. “I don’t know if I should drink this...” he muttered.

“Like I'd slip anything in it. I don't need you drugged to want me,” Sebastian commented.

“Neither do you, for anyone,” Kurt growled as he took a long drip of the glorious dark liquid inside the mug.

“Says the guy who had his tongue down Blaine's throat last night.”

“Don't remind me,” Kurt groaned as he began to walk back into his bedroom.

“Going to go back for more at Feelings tonight? Blaine says he's coming,” Sebastian asked.

“No! I'm having some much needed me time tonight,” Kurt called back.

“Just call it jerking off Kurt, it's more hot,” Sebastian suggested.

“Fuck off!” Kurt shouted back.
____________________________________________________________________

Kurt’s night of alone time turned out to have a special guest when Mercedes ending up texting him saying she was free to Skype and Kurt didn't feel like turning her down. She was one of the few people from high school that Kurt still liked and enjoyed talking to and they hadn't spoken in months. He brought out his laptop and was just about to click on the Skype icon when Kurt realized he was being watched. Kurt glanced up from his spot on the bed and saw Sebastian was silently staring at him. “What? I said I'm not going tonight so make yourself scarce,” Kurt reminded him.

“I'm just wondering what could be more entertaining than going to Feeling. You don't need to resort to porn, you can see it in person if you know where to look,” Sebastian explained.

Kurt groaned and in his anger his hand slipped and the Skype log on music began and he cursed under his breath. “I'm not going to watch porn Sebastian, so it would be pretty boring if you stayed to leer at me. Give my regards to Blaine and don't let me ruin your night,” Kurt muttered as he hoped Sebastian would leave before Mercedes came on Skype.

“Fine have fun with your boring night, I'm off. I'll enjoy having Blaine all to myself after all,” Sebastian taunted but when he got no reaction from Kurt he gave up, fully bored and headed through Kurt's doorway and out of the apartment.

Kurt gave a sigh of relief when he was gone and Mercedes' face appeared on the screen of his laptop. “Hi Mercedes, you cut your hair! It looks adorable!” Kurt said as a warm smile spread across his face. Aside from his dad, step-mom and step-brother, Mercedes was the only other person Kurt would allow himself to revert to his old self. More because he didn't want them to know how much he had changed, he had kept it well-hidden back then. Mainly because he knew they wouldn't be impressed but more than anything, he didn't want to worry them.

“Hi there yourself Kurt, it's been far too long since I've seen your face. What has been keeping you so busy? I never seem to be able to catch you when I call and my texts often end up getting ignored. What the hell is up with that?” Mercedes demanded.

“Sorry I've just been busy, with work and everything and it was just the end of the school year so finals,” Kurt explained.

“And the fact that it looks like you've moved, because that can't possibly be the same room I saw you in the last time,” Mercedes added.

Kurt glanced around at the walls; the entire room was larger and a different shape, so there was no point in trying to deny it. “Yes I did move actually, it's going well so far,” Kurt answered.

“Did the Santana clone piss you off too much?”

“It was more her stupid boyfriend, but she won't be missed,” Kurt told her.

“How's the new roommate or roommates fairing then? I want details, Kurt,” she urged.

Kurt rolled his eyes; he wasn't about to describe Sebastian to her in his entirety. “There's just one and he's fine but I don't want to talk about him. I want to hear about you, how's the glamorous life in LA fairing? I bought the album you ended up doing back up for, I felt so proud.”

“Thanks, though I wish you could hear me better but you gotta start somewhere I suppose.” Mercedes replied. “We really need to see each other in person sometime, I could come and visit you maybe? I hear San Francisco is oddly foggy and almost chilly in the summer and I could use a break from this heat,” Mercedes suggested.

Kurt fought the urge to panic at the idea, he could only imagine what would happen if Mercedes met Sebastian! But more so if she came to visit Kurt wouldn't know how to act around her when they weren't alone. “Uh I don’t know... I don't really think that would work, Mercedes,” Kurt began to stutter quickly in reply.

“Do you got something you want to hide from me Kurt?”

“No,” Kurt lied.

“Like a secret boyfriend or something?” She teased.

“As if,” he scoffed.
___________________________________________________________

When Blaine's head had stopped pounding enough in the morning to think clearly, his mind had quickly begun to fill with anxiety over the idea of facing Kurt again after their kiss. Or kisses, rather, since as sketchy as his memory was, he knew there had been more than one. Blaine felt so stupid, he knew Kurt wasn't constantly thinking about it or how much he wanted it to happen again. He certainly hoped Kurt hadn't been aware how close he had come to suggesting they should go back to his place and continue.

Sebastian's arrival couldn't have come at a better time, or else he could have woken up with a naked Kurt beside him on the bed. Why was that a problem again? Blaine was beginning to wonder if he should just give into temptation and sleep with Kurt. Sebastian, he knew, sure wasn't stopping himself. As much as he was dreading facing Kurt so soon, when he saw Sebastian arrive on his own his face fell. “Hey there Sebastian.” Blaine said as he came to sit beside him at the bar.

“Hey Blaine, how's your head? End up puking this morning?” Sebastian asked.

“No I didn't and my head is fine thank you! I wasn't THAT drunk,” Blaine declared.

“Sure... whatever you say,” Sebastian replied with a grin. 'Come on, ask about Kurt, I can tell you want to,' Sebastian thought to himself. For his scheme to work he needed Blaine to bring him up and Sebastian had a feeling all he had to do was wait. “Then why do you look so down? Shouldn't being in my company make you happy? Or were you hoping to see someone else?” Sebastian questioned him as he leaned in closer, his face showing concern, though it was all an act.

Blaine was thrown off guard from Sebastian showing actual concern, but that didn't mean he was about to admit the truth. Instead he just ordered a drink and let out a sigh. “I'm good, sorry,” he muttered.

“Because I got to say this isn't like you Blaine, you're normally so cheerful and it's something I enjoy watching. So I am having a tough time guessing what could possible put you in a sad mood. I might not act like it most of the time, but I can be a good listener. You can tell me anything Blaine, it might help,” Sebastian urged softly, he hoped Blaine's weakened love struck state would drop his guard down a bit.

Blaine was reluctant to go there since Sebastian's change of heart seemed too good to be true. But then he reminded himself how he always liked to give people the benefit of the doubt and Sebastian might even be helpful. He certainly knew Kurt better than Nick did and he realized it was a good opening to ask the big question. “What exactly is going on with you and Kurt then?” he asked at point blank.

“We're fuck buddies,” Sebastian answered back.

Even when Blaine had thought that was the case for quite a while now. Plus it meant they weren't in an actual relationship. Blaine's shock wasn't any less when Sebastian announced it like he had been asked something far less personal. “For how long?”

“Since we first met and I took his virginity.”

“You what?” Blaine blurted out in surprise.

Sebastian pretended to find his reaction surprising and he began to chuckle. “God you're so in love with him aren't you?” he muttered.

Blaine was ready to deny it but he was tired from keeping it in all the time so he just took his scotch, drank it in one large gulp and let out a large sigh. “How'd you know... oh god do you think Kurt knows too then!” Blaine said as his expression changed to horror.

Sebastian leaned forward and touched Blaine's back softly and began to rub it, this was all going the way he wanted. “Relax Blaine, Kurt has no idea... I only noticed because I've seen all the signs before. I can't tell you how many guys have fallen madly in love with me, it such a fucking pain. Sorry, but you need to realize Kurt doesn't believe in love,” he pointed out.

Again hearing what he had guessed all along still hurt, but he tried to take it in stride. Blaine's depressed mood wasn't getting any better and the scotch hadn't helped. “I thought so, he warned me himself that he wasn't the dating type. I just... fuck I don't know what to do; I wanted him so bad when we kissed last night. But I just don't want to be some casual fuck! Sorry no offence,” Blaine commented.

“None taken, we're just having casual sex Blaine, yes sometimes it's hot as fuck but there's no emotion. I won't judge you for it but feelings are overrated, as for love, it's just a fairytale, Kurt knows it, I know it, over half the guys in this club know it. All that matters is coming, keep yourself in enough control that you don't overstep and life can be pretty good,” Sebastian explained.

“That's fucked up, Sebastian,” Blaine muttered.

“From your point of view maybe, but who's the mopey one right now?” Sebastian pointed out. He called for the bartender and looked back at Blaine, “We'll have two rounds of shots, the type to mend a broken heart,” Sebastian explained and Kent just nodded and headed off.

“I don't have a broken heart Sebastian, Kurt's clueless remember and after what you've told me I'm keeping it that way.”

“Are you jealous that I've fucked Kurt? He'd be more than willing, so don't whine to me. It's you who wants to be his boyfriend not me.”

“Are the shots here yet?” Blaine moaned as his head came down to rest on the table with a small thud.

Sebastian knew what his next move would be now, he stood up and placed his arms over Blaine and placed a shot glass in front of Blaine. “Drink up Blaine, it can only help,” he urged.

“Don't try to get me drunk, Sebastian,” Blaine moaned but he sat up and picked the shot glass up anyway. Sebastian took his and they clinked the glasses together and Blaine threw the hard liquor down his throat. “Smooth,” he wheezed as the shot burned all the way down.

“There is another option you know,” Sebastian finally announced.

Here it was, Blaine knew Sebastian had ulterior motives to being such a considerate and caring friend, as far as he was concerned anyway. “I'm listening,” he replied, giving him a chance to prove Blaine wrong.

“I could take your mind off Kurt for you, help you get over him. I know you declined before but you need to get laid, Blaine. How long has it even been for you?” Sebastian asked as he began to massage Blaine's shoulders, urging him forward, but never going so far as to force in anyway. He still wanted it to be Blaine's choice when he finally gave in and slept with him.

“Why does everyone seem so interesting in knowing when the last time I had sex was? It's been a while okay,” Blaine muttered as he gulped down the second shot, not bothering to wait for Sebastian this time.

Sebastian took his own second shot and moved it out of Blaine's reach, he didn't want him to get wasted, just a bit tipsy and looser. “Tell me how long it's been or I'll tell Kurt that you love him,” It was a total bluff since Kurt would never believe him if he did, but Blaine didn't know that.

Blaine turned to look at Sebastian and for once he actually was starting to get angry from the threat. “You wouldn't...” he said in disbelief.

“Try me Anderson, fess up and give me the number. How long?” Sebastian asked as he brought his head to rest on Blaine's shoulder. “Whisper it in my ear if it's easier,” he breathed.

Blaine was trapped with no way out, so he sighed and relented. “Three years,” Blaine whispered.

“Are you fucking serious! Since you were, what eighteen, that's almost worse than being a virgin, Blaine!” Sebastian said in disbelief.

“Yeah well the last time I had sex was not good, so I just decided not to do it again unless I got serious with someone, like an actual loving relationship,” Blaine muttered.

“Blaine, that is bullshit, you're denying yourself so much pleasure. Ask Kurt; you don't have to be dating someone to have amazing sex. Let me prove it to you, let me surprise you and show you what you've been missing. You turned me down before but you need this Blaine, to try to get Kurt out of your mind, or at least enough to be able to be around him and not look so pathetic,” Sebastian urged as he slipped into his seduction mode.

“My answer from before still stands Sebastian, it's not the answer, at least for me,” Blaine warned him.

“Remember I've had sex with Kurt, Blaine, I've seen every inch of his naked body, touched every part of him. Had my cock in his tight and ready ass, I've heard him moan and scream in pleasure. I know what he likes, I could teach you, or I could show you what Kurt fucks like, either way you wouldn't regret it. Kurt wouldn't be interested in a virginal guy like you, if you want any chance of changing his mind on emotions and love. You're not going to get anywhere if you keep it tame; sex is the only way to change things. Because when he spreads his legs and opens up for you, if you're into topping mind you, he's good at both for the record. He might open a part of him that's been locked away. Don't you want to see if that's possible? You say you love him,” Sebastian told him.

“So the way to get Kurt to love me is to have you fuck me first?” Blaine asked sarcastically.

“Exactly,” Sebastian replied.

“Kurt is right, you can be a selfish prick at times,” Blaine groaned.

“But one who's knocking boots with Kurt. Who's in the right then I wonder,” Sebastian commented.

Blaine paused. It made him wonder how close Kurt and Sebastian had become since their friendship included sex. When Sebastian had been suggesting Kurt might reveal part of his real self and leave hope of his relationship growing to more if sex was in the equation. Was Sebastian speaking from experience? That as much as they liked to fight and Sebastian insisted there was no emotion, The big question was how did he and Kurt really feel about one another. Blaine knew if he asked them and there was more than it seemed he'd never get them to admit it. The whole idea seemed insane and yet he couldn't get it out of his mind. But even that possibility didn't change his mind about turning Sebastian down. “Sorry, not interested. Can we drop it?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian just nodded and stood back up. “Sure, I have my standards Blaine, and I don't find the idea of rape sexy, not that that's what this is. Just you need to know, in all my years of having sex, I have never fucked someone who wasn't willing. Drunk out of their mind yes, but then, they chose to get that drunk,” he informed him.

“I believe you Sebastian, from the start I knew you'd never be capable of that. It's why I was fine with becoming your friend. You're a prick but you make life interesting, just keep all of this from Kurt okay? I'll figure it out, I'm in love with him yes, but I want to keep being his friend still,” Blaine explained.

“I can live with that, want to call it quits then? You okay to head home on your own?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine nodded. “I'm good thanks, but let's get out on the dance floor first. Just not too close now, don't want to put on a show like you and Kurt did last night,” Blaine warned as he headed out on the dance floor.

“You're no fun,” Sebastian teased with a laugh. Despite being shot down again Sebastian had expected this and things were still going as planned, he was confident in the end Blaine could cave and sleep with him and would thank him for it. _____________________________________________________________________________________

But when Blaine arrived back home to an empty apartment he couldn't wipe the images that kept forming in his mind. Ever since Sebastian had described to him about having sex with Kurt he couldn't keep the visuals out. Only it wasn't Sebastian that Kurt was fucking in his imagination, it was Blaine. Blaine's hands on Kurt's sleek body, Kurt's mouth on his ready cock, Kurt's hot naked body pressed up against his own. It had been a struggle to keep his libido in check, especially since Sebastian would have loved to use his horny state of mind to his advantage. Blaine wasn't about to let him get his way and he had resisted everything he had thrown at him. To a point when they parted Sebastian assured him he'd behave the next time they hung out and Blaine almost believed him.

Just now those sensual images were returning to him and his cock was rising to respond. Blaine took in a deep breath and let it out as he tried to think of the least sexy things he could think of. Then his phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he welcomed the distraction getting a text could bring, he only hoped it wasn't Kurt. It turned out not to be, instead it was from Sebastian.

I promised I'd be good but I found this on my phone and I couldn't help but share. Enjoy the present.

Blaine stared at the file Sebastian had included with the attachment and he wasn't sure what to do. He felt like a teen that had snuck onto his parents’ computer and was the reading the 'do you really want to click on this' warning. But like he had when he was younger there was no way he couldn't click and Blaine's finger touched the screen of his phone.

The file opened up and a photo of Kurt, a very naked and erotic looking Kurt who eyes where shut, appeared and Blaine realized he was riding Sebastian during sex. Nothing but Sebastian's partially covered hipbones were visible and Blaine was sure Kurt had no idea Sebastian had even taken the photo. If he did he was sure Sebastian wouldn't be alive to send it to him. “This is cruel Sebastian!” Blaine shouted and he didn't bother to text him back that fact. Blaine couldn't look away either and he felt his cock responding to the photo and Blaine gave up and gave into the pleasure. He went into his room and closed his door, since he never wanted Nick to walk in on him jerking off ever again, and began to undo the fly on his pants.

The slight shame he felt at masturbating to a naked photo of Kurt couldn't make him stop himself. This also wasn't the first time he had jerked off while thinking about Kurt either. This new visual aid just made it easier to start and he just lay on his bed and let his mind go where it wanted. He imagined that it was Kurt's hand that pulled on his cock and began to pump it with his fist. Blaine let out a quiet moan as he moved his hand up and down on his length and let all his pent up sexual desire for Kurt wash over him. “Kurt.” he shouted in a half groan. More, he craved more, he wanted to fuck Kurt so bad or be fucked by him, he didn't care. But more than anything, despite what he was doing, he wanted to love him, to be loved in return. It didn't take long for Blaine to reach his breaking point and shout out Kurt's name as he came. Only when he was done he didn't feel that much better.

Frustrated with himself and his weakness, Blaine stood up and decided he needed to work through his sexually charged energy some other way. After cleaning up Blaine changed into a pair of sweat pants and tank top and grabbed his bad of boxing gear. One of the things he liked most about his apartment building was that it had it's own small gym for the occupants to use. Luckily it was late enough for the night, but early enough for others, that the room was currently empty. Blaine took a seat on the bench and began to tape up his hands, like he had done so many times when he was a teenager. But dealing with bullies was far easier and that only made Blaine angrier with himself.

“This is no way to feel about it, Blaine,” he told himself as he stood up and took his anger out on the punching bag hanging from the wall. “You can't punch how you feel out of your body! You can't change anyone's mind!” Blaine shouted as he hit the bag harder and harder, as if making himself feel pain from the effort would help.

“What do you want to happen anyway? I don't want to change Kurt! I don't want to sleep with Sebastian! I just want....” Blaine muttered over the sounds of coming in contact with the bag filled the room.

He realized some people were most likely asleep so he toned it down and kept quieter. He probably wasn't even supposed to be in the room working out at this hour anyway. But for once Blaine didn't care, he needed this. Blaine was sure come the morning he could move past it and keep his feelings hidden from Kurt. If he was so set on keeping him in his life, just as a friend, then he would just have to accept everything. The fact that Kurt didn't believe in love, didn't want a romantic relationship, that he and Sebastian were fucking and had been since day one. But then he began to think about that last fact, they had been fucking since before he and Kurt had met then.

From what he knew Kurt had met Sebastian only a few weeks before Blaine had appeared. So the whole time since Blaine had met Kurt and befriended him, he had been having a casual relationship with Sebastian. The only thing that had changed now was that Blaine knew about it, well that and his own feelings. But to Kurt nothing had changed at all and for some reason that fact made it easier to cope with. All the things that had happened between then, their first kiss on the dance floor, Kurt's emotional break down and the hug that followed and their kiss last night. It all had happened when Kurt was getting his sexual needs elsewhere. It was Blaine's choice that he and Kurt hadn't slept with each other so with this new epiphany, Blaine knew he could recover, that he could get through it.

“Once again, this is all thanks to Sebastian,” Blaine muttered as he threw one last punch and he imagined it was Sebastian's head. Despite him making it easier to be friends with Kurt, he still was a challenge to deal with at times.

Blaine was finally finished being angry and sexually frustrated and he felt his usual optimism return to him. His phone buzzed once again and he rolled his eyes, thinking it had to be Sebastian again with more 'presents' but he was pleasantly surprised, it was from Kurt.

Sorry I didn't show tonight, I just wanted a night to relax.

Blaine laughed lightly as he grabbed for his towel and began to wipe the sweat off his neck and face. It was hard to text a reply when his hands were still taped up so he quickly began to unravel one so his fingers were free to reply.

It's fine; I need those types of days sometime too.

Did Sebastian behave himself without me there to keep watch?

Blaine stopped laughing, he had a feeling Kurt's snarky banter with Sebastian would have a whole new meaning now that he knew they were having sex. But like with everything else he was determined to not let it get to him.

It's Sebastian, what do you think? lolr

_______________________________________________________________________

After talking to Mercedes for most of the day prior, Kurt was feeling somewhat nostalgic and knew there was another call he had been putting off to make. So during his lunch break at work, Kurt sat down in the empty break room, he had timed his break so there'd be no one there to overhear his call, and dialed up his father. He had been dreading this, not that he and his dad had any real issues, and they were still a family. But Kurt had to admit they weren't as close as they used to be but that was natural response when Kurt had moved out and headed off for school. Though in his heart he knew that wasn't the only reason that he had started to pull away, ever so slightly before moving out. Not that he didn't still love and respect Burt; it was just Kurt knew he couldn't use him as a shield, as someone to depend on.

Kurt had intentionally kept a number of his hardships from his dad and as a result, Burt no longer knew his son, at least not as well when he was a teenager. The fact that Burt rarely commented on that when they spoke was the reason Kurt didn't cut their connection entirely. Hoping he wouldn't regret it later Kurt waited silently as the phone began to ring and his dad picked up on the other end.

“Hi Kurt, about time you called me up,” Burt said, but his tone was light.

Kurt didn't even try to stop the warm smile that spread across his face. Like with Mercedes, Kurt allowed himself to be at ease around his immediate family. Which pretty much meant he acted the opposite of his usual coarse and jaded self when he was with them, or in this case, talking to them. “Hi dad, yeah I know, sorry about that,” Kurt apologized.

“Let's skip the lengthy apology because I doubt neither of us has the time. So how's life in San Francisco been? You just finished your finals a few weeks ago too, how'd those go?” Burt asked his son.

“Life's been good, busy but in a good way for the most part, as usual it's started to get all foggy here. But that means I still get to wear sweaters and cardigans so I'm not complaining. As for the tests and project they went very well, I'm pretty much top of my class. But again considering how I barely let myself have time for anything but studying that's no surprise,” Kurt began to explain.

“Yeah I remember bugging you about that fact, I mean it's good that you're so focused on your school work Kurt. But you can't let that be your whole life, didn't you leave Lima to... yah know find the lifestyle you knew you deserved to have? Life’s pretty boring if you keep to yourself, kid,” Burt began, starting one of their many father-son talks.

Kurt rolled his eyes even when Burt couldn't see his face. “Stop the speech dad, I actually have a social life now and amazingly friends to go with it,” Kurt muttered.

“Is that why you've been so busy Kurt then?” Burt almost teased.

“For some of it yes, but I won't bore you with the details dad, it's nothing to brag about. It's not always fun either, people are hard to deal with at times. But for the most part I've come to enjoy how my life is now,” Kurt said.

“I'm happy to hear it Kurt, things are pretty much the same as always around here. Finn's been home to visit so when's it your turn to?” Burt asked.

Kurt had been expecting this, he had been avoiding it too, and it wasn't that he didn't want to see his family. It was just Kurt didn't want to go back to Lima for a very long time, not when it had taken him so much effort to leave it behind. Kurt also knew if he went back, there would be a lot of questions, questions that he didn't want to answer. More than anything Kurt didn't want to lie to anyone, his dad least of all. But it would be impossible not to if and when he went home for a visit. Though if he didn't come home at some point during the summer break, like with Mercedes there was the risk that they would want to visit him and that wasn't any better of an alternative. Remembering that fact also made Kurt realize there was one change to his life he should mention. “I don't know dad, I'm sorry I haven't been back so often. It's not you it's just... I don't want go back, if you and Mom weren't there I never would,” Kurt admitted softly. It had been easier when Burt was still a member of congress, then they could meet up in DC and not even have to come home. But Burt had retired for the most part now and spent most of his time back in Lima, working at his tire shop, like he had when Kurt was in high school.

“I'd offer us to come visit you but I bet you won't like that either,” Burt told him.

“It's me Dad, not you guys I swear!” Kurt blurted out in defense.

“Don't start pushing us away Kurt, because it isn’t going to work. I know you have your own life to live, but can't I be a part of it still, at least a small amount?” Burt asked seriously.

Kurt sighed. “I don't want you out of my life dad, just...” Kurt struggled and stopped himself from swearing in anger like he normally would of. “We'll see each other before the new school year somehow, that I promise you. Oh before I forget, you should probably know I've moved recently,” Kurt told him, hoping the news would change the subject to a more light hearted one.

“You okay?” Burt asked with concern.

“Yes, now that I've moved,” Kurt answered.

“Think this new place will be better?”

Kurt sighed, “I'm not exactly sure, but I hope so.”