Author's Notes: Chapter 13

When Blaine woke up the next morning the first thing he felt was a dull pain in his backside, the second realization was far more pleasant, which was Kurt's warm back pressed against his own. So it hadn't been some elaborate wet dream, he was in Kurt's bed and Blaine felt like he wouldn't be able to get hard again for days, weeks even. As he began to stir a bit more he realized he had been woken up from the sound of Kurt's alarm. So Blaine nudged his bed-mate in the back lightly with his elbow to wake Kurt up. “Kurt, your phone,” he muttered.

Kurt stirred beside him and made some mumbled sound that didn't make any sense, yawned and reached for his phone. Kurt glanced groggily at the time and his eyes snapped open, right, he was suppose to go to work in an hour. Only when he tried to sit up on the bed the burning pain in his ass made it very clear that wasn't going to happen. “Shit, I'm sore as hell,” Kurt swore lightly.

“Likewise,” Blaine mumbled in agreement.

Kurt sighed. He felt tired, worn out and sore all at the same time and he didn't let himself feel guilty as he called work. His boss picked up and Kurt was grateful he truly sounded horrible so it wasn't hard to convince her he was actually sick. Luckily for Kurt his usually honest worth ethic gave her no reason to doubt his sincerity. By the end she sounded sympathetic as she assured him he should stay home and rest and all Kurt could do was thank her and end the call. At the rate this was going, he might have to resort to calling in sick tomorrow as well. “All I'm doing for the better part of the day is staying in this bed,” Kurt muttered.

“Good, I was hoping you wouldn't kick me out,” Blaine groaned.

The pain in his voice got Kurt's attention and he turned over on his side so he was now facing Blaine. He reached out and brushed a free curl out of his eyes, realizing Sebastian had done the same thing to him once and he frowned lightly at the unexpected move. “Are you okay?” he asked with concern.

Blaine smiled lightly, capturing Kurt's hand and kissing it. He knew it was risky to get this tender with Kurt and he saw him tense up to the affectionate display. Blaine dropped his hand and tried to make it seem casual, when in reality; at least for him the whole thing was far from it. “I'm sore and if I had the energy to walk right now I'd be limping. But I think we're equally to blame for the pain I'm sure we're all feeling right now. If anything, fuck it was worth it, did you ever think a threesome would be that good?” Blaine asked.

Kurt laughed lightly and winched from the movement. “No, I did not... I mean I assumed it could... and I need to admit, I kind of figured that was Sebastian's intent last night, with his whole dinner scheme,” Kurt began to explain.

“Really?” Blaine asked in surprise. It was almost alarming, because it meant Kurt hadn't needed much convincing for it to happen.

“Yeah, though in all honesty I never thought you'd go through with it,” Kurt admitted.

“If you had asked me last night I probably would have agreed,” Blaine said softly.

An awkward silence fell between them at the declaration, neither knowing how to respond. Both boys had things they were hiding from one other, for Blaine it was that he was in love with Kurt. The irony was that what Kurt was keeping from Blaine was that he knew that fact, or was trying to deny that it could be true. Because if he let himself begin to accept that Blaine had actual romantic feelings for him, he'd start to feel very conflicted with the two versions of himself. The old Kurt, the naive romantic, wanted to break loose of his prison and accept Blaine with open arms. While the new jaded Kurt, who trusted no one, wouldn't allow any feelings to come into the picture, because Kurt knew he would only get hurt in consequence. As Kurt thought about this, he realized there was a new third part of his personality, which Blaine had caused. Where as much as Kurt wanted to ignore it, there had to be something there, he had felt it when he and Blaine had been together during sex. He had no idea what 'it' was and he was afraid to find out, but more than anything Kurt feared hurting Blaine.

That if they continued down this path of becoming physical, unlike with Sebastian, the definitions of what they were to each other and what they wanted would begin to blur and meld together. Until the only option would be that they'd have to stop being in each other’s lives and above else, Kurt didn't want that. But now that sex had gone down, he had no idea how to turn things around and move past it.

All the while Blaine began to gather the courage to voice what he was feeling during the long silence. “This is going to make things weird between us isn't it?” he questioned.

Kurt sighed; how to word this properly and not have it look like rejection or make things worse. “I wish I could say with confidence it won't, but it could. I don't regret the three-way because fuck it was good; I mean you were there! But no matter how satisfying it was, now that it's over... I can't help but feel guilty that I joined in on making you change your mind on casual sex. Just like I have reasons for avoiding romantic relationships, you must have your own about not hooking up. This isn't what you wanted to happen, is it Blaine?” Kurt asked reluctantly, hoping he was making sense.

Knowing Kurt well enough now to understand what he was trying to convey, Blaine still squirmed under Kurt's intense gaze. But he wouldn't run from confrontation, he had decided to go through Kurt's bedroom door and have a threesome, now he had to face the aftermath of that choice. If they had any hope of remaining friends, this was no times for lies. “No, it's not, or it wasn't at the start. But Kurt, you need to know something, everything happened last night because I wanted it to. I walked into that room on my own, Sebastian said it was my choice and I made it. Just like when he fucked me, it happened and nothing will change that and honestly... I'm not really sure I'd want change in this instance. Maybe Sebastian was right, it might have been easier if we had just given into temptation and slept together after we kissed that night at Feeling,” Blaine muttered, the 'we' in this case meaning him and Kurt.

Kurt laughed lightly, “I doubt that,” he said, sounding somewhat sarcastic with his reply. In reality he had no idea what he was trying to imply with the answer. “We're adults now, so really who the fuck cares... it was mutual and we enjoyed ourselves. I'm not saying I want it to happen again anytime soon though, I don't think my body could take it, or my bed,” Kurt said.

“Let's try to not let this ruin our friendship then,” Blaine suggested.

Kurt let out another yawn. “Agreed, but for now, all I want to do is go back to sleep,” he muttered as he tried to get comfortable so he could. “As far as I'm concerned, we've earned a day to do nothing but laze about.”

“Wait? Where's Sebastian?” Blaine asked, finally noticing his absence.

“Oh he's probably still crashed in his own room, he left when he was done. I'm glad, it would of been too crowded with the three of us,” Kurt yawned. “Now shut up and let me sleep,” he urged as his voice began to show annoyance. When he was cranky due to lack of sleep it seemed he could manage to get angry with Blaine, despite his nature.

Blaine heard the warning in his voice and he simply chuckled lightly. “Still too tired to cuddle?” Blaine asked playfully, expecting Kurt to say to fuck off.

“Do friends usually cuddle, Blaine?” Kurt asked playfully.

“Probably not, but when has that stopped us before,” Blaine muttered as he scooted over to Kurt and when Kurt didn't protest or move away, he took that as a sign that he was fine with the prospect. Blaine felt guilty for wanting to hold Kurt, but he didn't stop as he wrapped his arms tight around Kurt's waist and pulled him close, so his head rested on Blaine's shoulder.

“Fine, we can cuddle but don't cry to me if I kick you in your sleep. I'm not use to this,” Kurt warned grumpily as he closed his eyes.

Blaine laughed and he couldn't help himself, he kissed the top of Kurt's head. Kurt wasn't his boyfriend; they weren't lovers or even fuck buddies. Blaine had no idea what they really were beyond friends who had become intimate and he made himself stop trying to define everything. Instead he sighed and watched as Kurt's breathing settled down as he went back to sleep. “I love you,” Blaine said softly to Kurt, knowing that the boy in his arms hadn't heard him. _______________________________________________________________________________

It wasn't until much later in the afternoon when hunger and the need to pee finally made Kurt get up from the bed, wincing in pain as he did. Of course he was more sore and worn out from a large amount of sex, so the pain wasn't like what Kurt had come to refer to as 'the incident' with Sebastian. Unlike then when the sex was so rough, frantic and hard that the pain that had resulted, at least for Kurt had been much worse. So he wasn't so badly off this time, but he still ended up limping slightly as he headed to the bathroom. Blaine was still laying in bed and Kurt found no urge to wake him, nor did he care where Sebastian was.

This time Blaine awoke to the sound of running water and when his he made grabbing motions with his hands he felt no warm body beside him. Blaine was alone on the bed yet he knew better than to worry about everything being nothing but a dream by this point. Blaine stood up on the bed, flinching from the small movement and he swore. “Shit, my ass is red raw,” Blaine muttered, way to dive back into anal sex headfirst.

Blaine carefully stretched the aching muscles in his hands and arms, keeping his lower regions as still as possible as he did. Blaine considered getting dressed but he had no idea where his clothes even were. Then he noticed something and a smile spread across his face at the discovery, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt where laid out on Kurt's dresser. Blaine would have preferred to shower before wearing any clothes but he figured joining Kurt in there would have crossed a line.

Because Blaine did hope they'd be able to recover from their little sexual experience and enough to remain friends without anything getting weird. Blaine's mind gave him a possible solution, maybe the answer was to hook up with Kurt now and then but he wasn't sure yet. Blaine was still on high from last night and once the novelty wore off he might be more willing to listen to reason. When Blaine was no longer naked he braved walking into the living room, or limping rather. Blaine discovered he was the last one in the apartment to get up, finding Sebastian in the kitchen cooking again. At least he was dressed, only in a pair of boxers and an undershirt but it was still something.

Sebastian noticed Blaine's arrival and he glanced back at him with a smug grin. “Morning Blaine, breakfast will be ready soon,” he announced. “Not that it's morning, but fuck the system I say,” he added smugly.

“Now this is surprising, do you usually cook breakfast for your fucks? Even when it's closer to dinner time?” Blaine asked, figuring the usual need to stay proper was pointless now.

“No, because I usually don't fuck guys who I can actually call my friends. So you and Kurt have a special honor there, hope you realize,” Sebastian commented.

“It's everything I've ever dreamed of becoming,” Blaine said sarcastically as he came to sit on the kitchen table, hissing in pain.

“You alright there, Blaine? Did Kurt fuck you after I left or something?”

“No! I'm fine, I'm just sore, and I bet you are too. That was a lot of sex we had last night, what number did we even get to? I lost count at six...” Blaine muttered. Of course they'd taken breaks and drank a few more red bulls but he knew it had been a lot, his pained ass proved it. Not to mention the bruises on his hips, ass and the countless hickeys and bite marks that now covered his body. He was not looking forward to facing Nick and Michael when he got home. Maybe Kurt would lend him some concealer because what he used seemed to do the trick for hiding his sex marks.

“I don't keep count Blaine, but it was a good night and yeah I'm sore from it. It actually will go in my top ten sexual experiences I think, though I'm not saying what number,” Sebastian said as he placed a plate of toast, bacon and eggs in front of Blaine at the table.

Blaine eyed the plate of food; he wasn't sure why Sebastian was still being generous since he had gotten his way already. But Blaine was far too ravenous to care. “Say, can I ask you something?” Blaine began.

“Sorry you weren't better than Kurt, but he's had more experience with me,” Sebastian began to answer before he knew what the question was.

“Oh good lord Sebastian, no, not that! Have you ever noticed Kurt's scar? The one just under his tattoo on his ribs? It looks like a burn mark to me...” Blaine began to mutter.

“Can't say that I have, when he's naked I'm either focused on other things or I don't care,” Sebastian shrugged as he turned off the element and placed the final two plates on the table. Once he added three cups of coffee, he finally sat down and began to eat.

“I'm just trying to think how he got it...” Blaine continued to ponder.

“From a cigarette burn,” Kurt answered casually as he walked out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of jeans and grey sweater.

Blaine blinked in surprise at Kurt's arrival and how he answering the question truthfully. But the answer only lead to more questions, ones Blaine was reluctant to ask. Sebastian it seemed had no such worry.

“I didn't take you as a smoker, Kurt,” Sebastian said.

“I'm not,” Kurt answered, when neither Blaine or Sebastian asked about it further, a fact he was glad about, he sat down at the table between them. A silence fell over the apartment but only because they were focused on eating. When Kurt had finished most of his meal he sat back in his chair and stretched lightly. “So I'm heading out to run some errands soon, just so you know,” Kurt told them both. When he still felt worn out he needed to get out of the apartment so he could be alone and away from the scene of the crime.

“Are you recovered enough for that?” Sebastian asked as he reached out and pinched Kurt's ass, causing him to hiss in protest.

“Fuck off! If no one grabs my ass I should be fine,” Kurt snarled.

“I think I'll head for home after breakfast,” Blaine said.

“Of course we're having breakfast...” Kurt muttered.

“You still ate it, Kurt,” Sebastian pointed out smugly.

Blaine eyed the both of them, wondering if the pair of roommates sitting down for meals was a usual thing. Despite the insults the scene in front of Blaine almost seemed somewhat domestic. Blaine simply told himself he was still too tired to think properly and he stopped the train of thought.

“Want me to drive you home, Blaine?” Kurt offered.

“Uh... sure I guess,” Blaine replied.

“Seriously guys, this doesn't need to get weird. We had good sex, why get negative about it,” Sebastian muttered as he rolled his eyes.

“I didn't ask for your advice,” Kurt groaned.

“When do I ever need prompting?” Sebastian reminded his roommate.

Kurt finished his coffee and walked back into his bedroom sighing all the way. He wasn't going to have sex with Sebastian for a while as far as he was concerned, or with anyone for that matter. As stubbornly as he kept telling himself he had no regrets, Kurt knew he had crossed a line. One he couldn't jump back over and fix, Kurt wasn't use to have sex partners or friends, especially ones that now overlapped between those two roles. Just as Kurt and Sebastian wouldn't be as close and relaxed with each other like he and Blaine were. Kurt couldn't allow having sex with Blaine to happen again, alone or with Sebastian. If he went that way Kurt knew he wouldn't be able to keep his current life, which he liked and was use to.

Kurt hated drama and when it seemed to follow him like a shadow, any chance of escape was sought. Kurt knew even by this point when the act was still sinking in, unlike with Sebastian, having casual sex with Blaine wouldn't be possible. No matter what Blaine's feelings for Kurt were, he knew Blaine wanted a boyfriend, not a guy to fuck on occasion. Blaine would want more if they got intimate and Kurt refused to be the one to warp Blaine's mind and values with sins of the flesh. Sin indeed, Kurt didn't fear that his morals or soul was in danger but the dramatic wording fit. Blaine's wanting more wasn't the biggest problem even, it was possible, however small, that Kurt might as well. Which was crazy, Kurt didn't want more than sex, with anyone, even Blaine, he couldn't offer him more. Wasn't that what Kurt had been telling himself for the last five years?

In the end Kurt concluded if Blaine ever did imply he wanted them to hook-up again, he'd have no choice but to turn him down. How Kurt could do that without offending or worse, hurting his friend seemed impossible. Kurt let out a tired sigh; “This is getting me nowhere,” he grumbled and let it all go, bringing his emotional walls around him. Instead Kurt turned his attention to his bed, while it hadn't actually broken from their sexcapades, the frame and legs had taken some serious damage. Kurt was tempted to make Sebastian pay for half of what the new bed would cost him, since the three-way had been his idea. “Yep, I have to buy a new bed... great,” Kurt groaned.

Despite sleeping for most of the day he was still sore but that was to be expected. Kurt was an expert shopper and his delicate constitution wouldn't hold him back. So he intended to go shopping for a new bed and maybe spoil himself with a few new outfits for the summer. Like it was some sort of consultation, which was ridiculous because the amazing sex he had experienced last night needed no such thing.

Blaine walked into the room and Kurt instantly saw the sheepish look on his tired but handsome face and all Kurt could do was smirk at him. “How you holding up there trouper?” Kurt asked.

“I'm still among the living, mind you, keeling over from an intense orgasm would be a good way to go,” Blaine joked.

“I bet it's how Sebastian intends to die, when he's like 90... and with a twenty-year-old,” Kurt agreed.

The pair of friends chuckled together, happy to see they were chummy as usual, no matter how many times they'd fucked each other last night. Kurt was grateful for that and he only hoped he and Blaine could deal with this new setback, if being in a three-way could be called that. Kurt walked over and patted Blaine on the shoulder lightly, giving him a weak smile. “Come on Blaine, let's gather up your clothes and I'll take you home,” he told him.

“You're such a gentleman, Kurt,” Blaine teased as he picked up his clothing and took the canvas bag Kurt offered him and stuffed them inside.

“But of course.” Kurt teased back and they both laughed at each other. “We'll be fine, Blaine. I mean my life's already fucked up as it is. This won't make much of a difference,” Kurt assured him.

Blaine nodded, “Yeah,” he agreed, hoping it would become the truth.
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Of course stubbornness, even in the most determined individual could only take you so far, so the fact that Kurt and Blaine's relationship now had a sexual aspect, meant something had changed. Now all the pair of friends could do was try their best for that change not to make a negative difference. That was where their inner strength, not to mention their clinging to denial came in handy and had started to work. To where they could move past any awkward moments and still be in each other’s company without it getting too weird. To do so, like when it came to their sexual encounters with Sebastian. They figured it was best to go back to normal fellowship and act like the threesome never happened. Or at least didn't mean as much as it could and never speak of it, to anyone.

When it came to Blaine he was having a harder time putting the three-way behind him, for many reasons. He had barely managed to dodge and avoid his roommate’s questions when he went home the night after and was still limping. Or when he'd stepped out of the shower of course they noticed every sexual mark over his body. Blaine kept any details hidden from them, even Nick who was his best friend but telling him about the threesome was out of the question.

The trouble was that Blaine didn't want to forget the threesome, at least not completely. Try as he might Blaine couldn't keep the memories of being with Kurt out of his mind, by so much that he wanted it to happen again. The connection that formed between them during sex had been hard to fully understand when it was happening. It felt so right, no Kurt did, his aggressive but still gentle touch, how it felt to be in his arms and vice versa and of course their chemistry during sex was off the scale. The exchange had somehow been sensual and romantic at the same time and Blaine knew as the days passed, such a connection had to be something that didn't happen very often.

Making Kurt feel good felt so amazing and he couldn't get enough of it and he hadn't, during the three-way Kurt had sure returned the favour. Blaine was also pleased and surprised at his ability to get in a randy enough mind set to be on even grounds with Kurt and Sebastian. Oh right, Sebastian had been there and the whole act had happened thanks to him, because Blaine was too afraid to act on his feelings. Now that the threesome was over, where he and Kurt had agreed not bring it up again, Blaine was facing a side effect. Unlike with his hookup with Sebastian it was proving to be impossible to forget about it and move on. To the point where Blaine had pretty much decided that if he couldn't date Kurt, he could at least sleep with him occasionally.

There was no telling if Kurt would go for that but for once Blaine refused to shy away, even with it was possibly a horrible idea. Blaine was well aware of that fact but his longing for Kurt bypassed his usual common sense. Blaine had to be with Kurt again and he wanted to them to be alone next time. His admitting to Kurt that he wanted what his friend could offer, even if it was just his body was enough, could also answer a burning question for him. If Kurt turned him down, then it was very likely that rejection would trigger a whole new problem in the young man's already confused mind. That Kurt didn't want to have sex with anyone else, because he was quite satisfied with his current fuck buddy and perhaps they were moving towards becoming something more. Which possibly was beginning to resemble a romantic relationship and the proof was actually real and not in Blaine's head. Blaine was sure if he brought the notion up to the men in question they would of shouted it was pure insanity.

But Blaine had noticed over the last week, really before that but after the threesome Blaine had become more perceptive. The roommates were so relaxed in each other’s presence and while they still argued, swore and constantly fought it seemed more playful now. Slowly their snarky banter was becoming more flirtatious and to the point where it was turning into more habit than necessity. Back to Blaine's stressing over his friends and what they were to each other and Blaine hoped he could be wrong for once. Because when his theory that Sebastian in Kurt were in deed having sex was proved true, his being right had not been fun.

Kurt on the other hand to everyone but himself, seemed for the most part totally unaffected by the events of the threesome. On the surface he was his normal snarky self, whose views on sex and keeping everything casual hadn't wavered. He never over analyzed or gave any sexual encounter much thought, all had been good and that was enough for him. But just because Kurt knew how to hide his inner conflicts well didn't mean they didn't exist. When Kurt fucked with Sebastian there had never been anything to dismiss, but when Blaine had been thrown in the equation, that was no longer true. Kurt could only cling to denial for so long and it had become a struggle to keep everything berried under his emotional baggage. Kurt didn't know how to deal with sex being more than the physical act, so as usual he just pushed it down. The dangerous side effect in doing this was Kurt had brought it within reach of the hopeless romantic in Kurt. Who was still clinging to life deep within Kurt's subconscious and he wouldn't let go. Whatever 'it' was exactly, if they were any sorts of feelings, a deeper connection, one Kurt feared above all else, he never wanted to find out.

Yet like Blaine, though in a totally different situation and mind set, Kurt wasn't about to let any of this ruin their friendship. Blaine was well worth the struggles; he was someone Kurt could be more at ease around. Avoidance in this case wasn't anything Kurt wanted to resort to, so it was business as usual for the pair of friends. Where they talked on the phone, text each other and hung out in person like they normally did. It seemed like both were over-compensating and that lead to spending more time together as usual.

There was no way to Kurt to anticipate that in doing this, he was setting up Blaine with false hope and the dreamer was beginning to resist his being laid to rest. Whenever the moment came when Kurt would become of aware of his error of judgment his relationship with Blaine and what it might become would have to be defined. But for now, ignorance truly was bliss for Kurt Hummel, who had no idea he was leading Blaine on since it wasn't intentional. Since the threesome had happened his inner walls were dropping and Kurt was showing a side to Blaine few encountered. The only hope Kurt would allow himself to have was that Blaine wouldn't bring up their having sex again. So he wouldn't have to turn him down and the day, full of unwanted angst, would never come.

As for Sebastian, the third partner in crime, he was lying low and keeping his distance from both Kurt and Blaine. But Sebastian was never fully gone, he was around and still hung out with them at Feelings and they saw each other now and then, since he was still Kurt's roommate. His absence was noted and when the subject had been brought up Sebastian's answer to Blaine and Kurt was the same and given with no qualms. Sebastian, it turned out, had a new target in his sights and one that was taking up most of his time to nail. This turn of events wasn't anything for the three to complain about and his two friends were enjoying the cocky young man not being around so much. Blaine most of all, who liked having Kurt to himself, while Kurt liked having a much needed extended break from Sebastian. In fact they hadn't slept together since the three way, the angry blowjob two days ago didn't count.

The slight change in their regular lives didn't give any real set backs and it was the usual for the trio of friends. Where getting the chance to be selfish for once, in Kurt and Blaine's instances, felt very freeing. Some things were still the same no matter what difference occurred in their social lives, like the usual clinging to hope or denial. So Kurt had taken up Blaine's offer to meet up after his work shift to go shopping for some clothes without hesitation. Since denial was second nature to Kurt by this point there was no awkward air between them and the pair hand a grand old time.

All it had taken was for Blaine to admit he needed to beef up his wardrobe and Kurt snapped into action, picking out combos for Blaine to buy. Neither boy realized during their endeavor their tone was flirtatious to the point where they looked like happy boyfriends out on a shopping date.

Unbeknownst to Kurt, Blaine had noticed the slight change in their rapport and how it was more relaxed and playful now. He swore every now and then Kurt was actually flirting with him and enjoyed when Blaine dished the attention right back. Blaine couldn't remember the last time he had seen Kurt laugh so much and this easily; he had to be aware of their obvious chemistry. Perhaps their sleeping together opened the door a crack, to where their relationship could move forward and develop. His mind was made up, Blaine had to go for it and take their relationship to another level, even when it wasn't his first choice.

'I have to be with Kurt again, no Sebastian, just us,' Blaine reaffirmed. If Kurt could only offer his body, what was the point in resisting anymore? Kurt had made it very clear from the start their having sex would be quite acceptable. Sebastian didn't deserve to be Kurt's only sexual partner, Blaine loved Kurt and he could use that emotion to his advantage when it came to sex. He could kiss Kurt in ways his friend had never experienced before, caress his skin and prove how he didn't need to be so detached from feelings. 'I don't just want to fuck Kurt, I want to make love to him,'

The chance to make his intentions with Kurt be known ended up becoming possible with the best scenario Blaine could of planned for. Because he hadn't done anything to set things up, he chose to take this as a good sign. It wasn't like he was reaching Sebastian's levels when it came to seduction, all Blaine planned to do was let Kurt know he wanted him and would be interested in hooking up again. This was when Kurt's decision to keep sex casual was in Blaine's best interest because he could bring the subject up rather easy. Now the hardest part would be waiting for the right moment and to bide his time until then. To make everything he was secretly bent on possible, he gave his innocent little invitation when they stopped for lunch at the malls food court.

Blaine nonchalantly glanced over at Kurt's attractive figure whose attention was currently on his cell and he let out a quiet breath. Because he was slightly worn out from shopping, the needed recharge meant he didn't have the energy to get worked up and nervous. “So Kurt...” Blaine began, keeping his tone as casual sound as possible. “There’s this music festival that's happening on Saturday. Where a bunch of bands, artists and other music related performances are taking place. It's like a big free outdoor concert, happens every year around this time. So naturally a bunch of us from school are taking part,” Blaine explained.

Checking his bank account to see how his funds were fairing was abandoned as he glanced up at Blaine and gave him an encouraging smile. He had a feeling Blaine was leading up to an invitation and despite Kurt's not liking big crows. He already knew he wouldn't need much convincing on Blaine's part to attend. If anything Kurt welcomed the change up it could bring, his life had become far too predictable lately. “What type of music are you playing, Blaine?” Kurt asked curiously.

The way Kurt had perked up made Blaine's heart begin to flutter but still he managed to keep his excitement under wraps. “I'm doing a mix of things, I'm going to play a few original songs on my keyboard. Then I'm singing with some guys from my school who's in the same program as me,” Blaine explained.

“You know... I've never asked if you were in a band,” Kurt commented.

“I'm not in a band right now, nor have I ever been,” Blaine replied.

“That's quite surprising,” Kurt admitted.

There it was, that flirtatious tone that made Blaine go wild and he let out a throaty laugh in response. This sounded a lot like a conversation Blaine and Nick had about four years ago, back when they were high school seniors. “I don’t know... I considered the idea a few times but nothing came to be,” Blaine explained.

“Ah, well that tends to happen in life... you could join one now,” Kurt pointed out.

“I could... but... I'm too busy trying to figure out what my plans are pending graduation. I love music, every aspect of it, like singing, composing, song writing and performing. When it came time to apply for College I decided to go with composition for my major and see where that might lead. I know it's probably a little too laid back and lacks proper focus but it's been working so far. I find there are so many opportunities music could bring me and I'd be happy with any of them really,” Blaine answered, when he realized he had gotten side tracked. “Sorry I'm not really sure if that answers your question,” he added.

“No, it doesn't but I like listening to you ramble so you don't need to apologize,” Kurt answered with a cute grin.

“If you say so,” Blaine said.

As Kurt kept smiling at Blaine he felt a twinge of jealousy and decided to give honesty a try. “I really envy your limitless talent Blaine... it seems like there's nothing you can't do. Makes me wonder what you must have been like in high school. As for me... no matter how much I loved music or what relief I found, nothing came easy for me. Glee club for the most part was my sanctuary but that too was full of drama,” Kurt grumbled.

Blaine already knew that the past was not a subject Kurt enjoyed sharing, but he still wanted to debunk his theories when it came to Blaine's own experience in high school. The trouble was... could he actually do that; looking for any possible scenarios wasn't coming up with anything he could use to do so. “You don't have to...” he offered instead.

“I'm fine, I'm finding the chance to vent rather good. But let's get back to you... enough about me for once,” Kurt urged.

It was never easy to say no to Kurt and Blaine was fine with sharing details about himself, even when it might seem like he was bragging. “I was in my school's glee club, so was Nick,” Blaine confirmed.

“I bet you were popular there, like everywhere else,” Kurt deduced.

“Yeah, no idea how that happened exactly but I was my clubs lead vocalist,” Blaine admitted sheepishly as he started to blush.

“For how long?”

“From my sophomore to senior year.”

Kurt rolled his eyes at the confession but it was done with amusement and not real annoyance, which still surprised him at times. It didn't take much to conclude that Blaine's life had been so much easier than Kurt's despite their both being gay. Somehow Kurt knew it wasn't that Blaine was just really good at hiding any possible pain and Blaine had admitted as much before. The result of which, or maybe it was the reason why, had to do with Blaine's effortless charm, good looks, golden voice and his giving nature. It was harder for Kurt to stay his usual snarky self when Sebastian wasn't constantly around to make it mandatory. Here was Blaine, nonchalantly slipping through Kurt's inner walls without trying and the usually guarded young man didn't know how to keep him out.

By this point, where he and Blaine were spending more time together, Kurt wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore. Instead, he was starting to think his best option was to settle in between his clashing personalities, to embrace the old and new. If he ever had any chance of making it in the world and keeping his life as free from stress as possible, he'd have to change tactics. It would do him little good in the competitive and fast paced world of fashion design if he got so pissed off and snarly at every dick and drama queen that he came across. At the same time Kurt knew he'd need his newfound strength, which was due to his inner walls, to remain unhurt and unaffected by the constant reality checks the world kept sending his way. But no matter how open Kurt was becoming over the possibility of easing up a bit, lines still needed to be drawn.

He wouldn't begin to believe in love, no amount of progress would change his stubborn mind, bringing that part of himself back would only lead to pain and not just his own. Letting his mind wander, when things had become so carefree and uncomplicated finally, was a bad idea right now. “I don't find that the least bit surprising, Blaine. In fact I bet you haven't changed very much since your teenage days,” Kurt teased lightly.

While it was true Blaine hadn't missed the slight change in Kurt's normally jaded exterior over the last week, he was taking the switch up in a different direction that Kurt was aiming for. There were only two possible reasons for his personality switch. One being that Kurt was slowly becoming more at ease around Blaine and the reason meant there was hope for their becoming more than friends. Where Kurt's warnings that he wasn't the dating type were being challenged and in a good way. The second was the less desired explanation for Blaine, was that he'd fully entered the 'friend zone' and there was no prospect of anything romantic happening between them. If the latter was true, that naturally made Blaine wonder why and if the reason was Sebastian. Neither theory discouraged Blaine from returning Kurt's flirtatious teasing with gusto though. “I'll have you know I've changed! It's probably boring subject matter though,” he scoffed.

“A likely story,” Kurt taunted.

Blaine scowled at him; though the illusion was broken by his grinning face, oh he was definitely enjoying this new side of Kurt a great deal. He brought out his phone and began to scroll through his photos. “I can actually prove it, hold on I just need to find.... ah hah, eureka!” Blaine declared.

“Seriously you were born in the wrong fucking century, Blaine,” Kurt muttered as he shook his head.

“Feast your eyes on this Kurt, this is me, back when I was in my junior year of high school. While my clothing style hasn't changed drastically, you gotta admit, there's some difference,” Blaine said as he held his phone out to Kurt for him to take.

Kurt decided to humour Blaine, taking the phone out of his hand and he couldn't help but laugh at what he saw. Just as Blaine had said there was a difference, it wasn't major but Kurt's reaction proved Blaine's case. “Fuck Blaine, how could you ever wear so much hair gel and think it was flattering,” Kurt muttered in disbelief.

“Hey I was sort of sensitive over how out of control my hair gets! It's super baby fine and I was convinced if it didn't have endless amounts of product in it, I'd looked like Medusa...” Blaine began to say in defence. “I just went a bit overboard for a bit there, but I pulled it off still. When I started college I realized it wasn't needed and I brought the amount of gel down to dime size.”

“I suppose it goes with the whole clean cut and classic preppy boy look. As does it match with the whole sweater vest, high ankle cut pants and bow-tie effect,” Kurt replied.

“Oh and what did you dress like in high school then?” Blaine asked, since he doubted Kurt had any photos of his past in his own phone to show him.

Kurt never had any reluctance when it came to talking about fashion, even when doing so contained his past, it was one of his rare safe subjects to bring up. “I'll have you know I was more flashy back then, but I still looked fabulous. For the most part my clothing style hasn't really changed, it's just matured into a more sophisticated but functional look overall. Which, after comparing this version of you to the one you are now, seems to be about the same for you, Blaine. Though I can hardly judge with one example, but the teenage Kurt Hummel would have approved I'm sure,” Kurt informed him.

“A true honour then,” Blaine replied. He stopped himself from asking Kurt any more questions about his teenage years, since it would of been a mood killer. “Wait... what was our conversation about before we took this big detour?” he asked.

“The free concert,” Kurt offered.

“Right right! Sorry! I can never shut up! Anyway to bring it back full circle, have any interesting in going? I mean you've never heard me sing before...” Blaine coaxed.

The lure had been cast out to get Kurt's interest and Blaine was wise indeed to use Kurt's curiosity about what Blaine's singing voice sounded like as bait. He was already sure, like with everything else he did, Blaine's voice was amazing and he let out a sigh. Not that Blaine needed yet another impressive thing added to an already long line of his many talents. But the reason why it was bearable and nothing to feel petty over was to due with how humble Blaine was overall. “I guess I could make an appearance,” Kurt finally answered.

“Great! If you're up for some company Nick, Steph, Michael and a number of my friends and I are heading there together. After our shows over we planned to go for some drinks,” Blaine explained. Because he was watching Kurt's face intently, he noticed how he began to stiffen at the new information and Blaine rolled his eyes. Here was a trait that Blaine found annoying with Kurt, the fact that he had actual faults that Blaine could recognize even in his lovestruck state was a good thing. “Kurt... seriously it's not that big of a deal, you won't be a hindrance. When have I ever made you feel unwelcome?”

The same was could be said for Kurt, who was equally relieved that someone as charismatic as Blaine could still do things that annoyed him as well. “Funny you telling me this doesn't make me anymore relieved.”

“Well honestly I have no idea what to say to that,” Blaine muttered.

“I'm just not good with groups Blaine, it has nothing to do with you... I... it makes me feel alienated. This is what it usually looks like; while everyone else is acting friendly and care free, there I am... scowling on the sidelines. I can never relax enough to unwind and actually come to trust people...” Kurt began to explain.

“Why?” Blaine asked.

“Being around a bunch of people always has a negative effect on me. Either they're saying or doing things that piss me off... or they make me even more aware than usual how fucked up I am!” Kurt blurted out, his voice becoming louder than he had meant. Kurt glanced around the mall and he was glad the slight outbreak hadn't been noticed over the large chatter.

“Don't you trust me, Kurt?” Blaine asked softly.

“... I have no easy one word answer to that question, Blaine.” Kurt began to explain and he hesitated, he was not enjoying the conversation but Blaine deserved the honest answer, or near to as Kurt could go. “I want to trust you...” Kurt continued, 'Probably more than anyone else I know in San Francisco,' Kurt thought to himself, but he couldn't admit that out loud, even to Blaine. “... but it's very hard for me to trust anyone, I mean fully. I know you'd never hurt me and that you don't have any hidden feelings for me,” Kurt began and he saw panic flash across Blaine's face and he sighed. “Negative ones,” he quickly added to put him at ease. “But there's always doubt, at the back of my mind, whispering to me that I'm just being delusional. Because the last time I started to trust someone completely, it did not turn out well,” Kurt explained.

“What happened?” Blaine asked quickly, before he could stop himself. Causing Blaine to see Kurt shut off completely, to notice the struggle in Kurt's body language as he fought the urge to push Blaine away. “I'm sorry, don't answer that... I...”

“I wouldn't anyway,” Kurt said with a shrug, showing the topic was closed and done with.

“Fine, but will you at least join me with my friends? If you can handle Sebastian, use that strength in you to tackle this new challenge,” Blaine urged.

“I'll try Blaine, because honestly I'm making a mountain out of a mouse hole,” Kurt muttered.

“You say I'm in the wrong era and I think you mean molehill,” Blaine teased.

“Do you want me to come see you play or not?” Kurt snarled, though his tone was far lighter than when Sebastian edged him on.

“Yes please,” Blaine pleaded lightly and his reward was to see Kurt smile at him and decided, despite the moment of conflict, he still would make his move. __________________________________________________________________________

“Kurt, over here!” Blaine shouted when a familiar well-dressed figure appeared in the crowd of people in front of him. When Kurt had text that he'd arrived, Blaine broke off from his group of friends to go retrieve him. Despite his plans for seduction later that night, which Blaine hated to refer to it as because it almost put him on Sebastian's level. Blaine was glad that Kurt had kept his word in the end and showed up. When Kurt made his way over to where Blaine was waiting, he noticed Kurt was alone. “Thanks for coming, Kurt,” Blaine told him.

“I said I'd come,” Kurt said casually.

“I half expected Sebastian to show up with you,” Blaine declared, wording it that exact way to see what type of reaction he would get from Kurt. To see if the idea that they were becoming more like a couple than casual sex partners, which Blaine couldn't keep from popping up in his mind, held merit.

“He said he might show up at some point, but I have no clue if he will or not,” Kurt replied, his casual tone remaining the same.

Of course Kurt's answer didn't offer any help, if anything it just made Blaine more confused, about everything. Time and time again Blaine had plenty of examples to support over-thinking things was rarely a good idea. So Blaine made all the tension drain from this body and let his usual friendly personality take over as he chatted away to Kurt about what to expect for the event. To Blaine's delight Kurt seemed generally interested and entertained by Blaine's antics, cracking a small smile every once in a while. Blaine's heart began to race at that and he made himself remain calm or he could mess everything up. It wasn't Blaine who ended up changing the easy atmosphere between him and Kurt though. The moment Kurt saw Blaine's group of friends in the distance, there being nine people in total Kurt stiffen up and his body language changed to tense and guarded. “Relax, Kurt,” Blaine whispered soothingly.

“Easier said than done,” Kurt muttered under his breath. “Most of my prior experiences with groups weren't so pleasant,” He added. In reality Kurt was being dramatic, his statement also didn't hold that much truth. Kurt had never faced a big group of people who wanted to beat him into the pavement. But he had endured a whole school full of students who looked at him with cruel stares, whispered snide remarks and snickering as he walked through the hallways and that had almost been worse. Kurt became aware of the fact and made himself loosen up a bit. After all, there was no reason to be so on guard, he was at a free concert not a gang meeting. “Sorry, I'll be alright,” Kurt added weakly.

“Sure you will, cause you got me to pull focus,” Blaine chuckled as he squeezed Kurt's arm lightly before strolling over to where Nick and Stephanie were waving to him.

Time for the beta testing to begin and for his experiment to happen out on the field, Kurt still paused for a second but it was only momentary. Soon a light smile spread across his face as he followed behind Blaine and let his social side out. There only real danger in doing so was the risk of unintentionally uncovering a part of himself while he was too focused on being friendly. One that could break through his emotional walls and make a mess of things, all thanks to emotion. After that had happened the last time that had occurred, back in Blaine's apartment, the idea of having an emotional break down in such a public place was very offsetting. But despite any discouraging facts Kurt didn't back off, he wouldn't get a more perfect place for his new middle ground personality test he figured.

“Hi Kurt, Blaine dragged you along huh?” Nick said in greeting.

“It didn't take that much arm twisting, I admit getting to hear Blaine sing was the hook shot,” Kurt replied.

“He won't disappoint, Blaine knows how to bring it on stage,” Nick assured him.

“You on your own then? Where's Sebastian?” Stephanie asked innocently.

Blaine groaned lightly at the question and he peaked over at Kurt to see what his reaction was. This time it was hard to read his face, as Kurt was well hidden behind his barriers at the moment.

Kurt wasn't really sure how to answer; he had no qualms about telling guys to fuck off when he didn't want to answer their questions. But with women, or at least genuinely kind ones like Kurt assumed Stephanie was, he was at a loss. This was why he had managed to live a whole year with Julie as his roommate, her bitchiness made her easier to deal with. “He's off somewhere, I honestly have no idea what he does during the day. Well aside from guys, sure doesn't have a regular job,” Kurt answered.

“Oh yeah, he's your roommate now huh?” Stephanie commented.

“Amazingly enough yes, but I can deal with him pretty well,” Kurt told her with a smirk.

Blaine didn't like where the current conversation was going, more so because as usual it had no real definition, held no clear answers, to anything regarding Sebastian and Kurt's relationship. “So there's a bit of time before the show starts,” Blaine interrupted.

“Need some help setting up things?” Kurt offered.

“Uh...” Blaine said and he glanced over at the stage where his music major buddies had the set up well underway. “... thanks Kurt, but we've got it covered.” he finished. “Next up is the sound check,” he explained.

“Blaine, get over here! You can flirt later,” One of Blaine's friends teased.

Blaine ignored the comment, since he wasn't about to blush in front of Kurt, or give his friends any satisfaction, since they were naive to Kurt and Blaine's whole dynamic. Blaine still hadn't told any of his friends, even Nick about the threesome, because some things were too personal to share. “Sorry I should go...” Blaine began to apologize.

“It's okay Blaine, I'm fine on my own,” Kurt assured him.

“What did you think we'd ditch you to go make out or something?” Nick accused.

“Isn't that what you heteros do most of the time?” Kurt teased, there being no hint of annoyance in his voice.

Merely saying that Blaine was enjoying this more playful side of Kurt was quite the understatement, one that seemed to come out when Sebastian wasn't around to set his tempter off. It didn't take long for Blaine to realize his friend was handling the current situation rather well. No one beside himself, who almost had made it his job when it came to studying Kurt's personality, would notice the change. Unlike before, Kurt also wasn't fully exposed to the point where Blaine found the difference shocking and he was glad for it. It meant that Kurt could manage to be more out going and less jaded when he tried.

No matter how much confidence in his own ability Kurt was gaining, or how he could force himself to act when he gave the effort. The fact that his attempts in trying to be witty enough to make jokes and comebacks were giving him rewards, felt oddly satisfying. So did Stephanie’s and Nick's breaking out in to amused chuckling from his attempts at humour.

The real test for the usually guarded young man came when Stephanie casually stepped up to Kurt and slipped her am in the crook of his elbow without any warning. Because he didn't feel threatened or out of place, Kurt flashed her a superior yet still playful grin in response to the move. As soon as she saw no resistance Stephanie began to lead him off and away from Nick and Blaine, who were the ones to look confused. “Blaine, I'm borrowing Kurt for a bit, sorry boys,” She informed her boyfriend and friend.

“It's not like I own him,” Blaine called out with a laugh.

“What about me?” Nick shouted.

“Keep Blaine company while your girlfriend does the same with me,” Kurt taunted as he looked back at them both, not bothering to stop.

The pair of abandoned boys could only watch as Stephanie and Kurt disappeared into the crowd and out of sight and they didn't feel like chasing after because that would seem too clingy. That being said Blaine was still surprised and he had no idea what Kurt was like around women, or anyone for that matter when Blaine wasn't with him to observe. That was the root of his unease, because there was no telling what this new team up with Stephanie, a girl that knew a lot about Blaine, could bring. Nick it seemed was equally clueless and chose to share his unsure state wit his best friend, who would understand his trepidation.

“Should we be worried?” Nick asked.

“Depends, how much have you told her about me?” Blaine asked himself.

“What about what you've told her, when you were drunk,”

“Oh fuck...” Blaine muttered.

Blaine's use of profanity was the first eye opener that he was keeping something from his friend, since he rarely swore unless he was really angry. It made Nick wonder if Kurt was influencing him and why. It was time to get to the bottom of things on the Blaine and Kurt front. “Now that we're alone, mind telling me why you're so giddy? Did something happen between you and Kurt?” Nick pressed as he followed Blaine over to the stage.

What Blaine really wanted to do was ignore Nick and his personal query but he knew from past experience that never worked. Oh well, at least he'd still managed to keep the three-way from being exposed, so that was something. “If I had any hope in thinking I could say nothing and have you believe me... I wouldn't answer you,” Blaine grumbled.

“So you two aren't dating or anything like that?” Nick said.

“No! If we were, do you I think I would be able to shut up about it? Kurt doesn't want a boyfriend, or at least not me,” Blaine said.

“I know Sebastian comes into this somehow. So what is it this time?”

“I really don't want to talk about it Nick,” Blaine warned.

“That's kind of scary Blaine, that's not like you so just... tell me, are you okay?” Nick asked with genuine concern.

“Let's just say I got a glimpse of something I really want and can't have and it's been hard to cope. To the point where I'm re-thinking some of my life choices,” Blaine explained cryptically.

But Blaine wasn't very good when it came to coding information enough to mask the hidden meaning. “You dog, you did have sex with Kurt! I knew it!” Nick laughed as he slapped Blaine hard on the shoulder. “And you're totally going back for more.”

Blaine shushed Nick loudly, because if their other friends got wind of their conversation or worse, they teased him about it in front of Kurt, his plans would fall flat and he'd fail. “I'm not confirming anything you're suggesting. Can we just... drop it?” Blaine begged.

Nick nodded; realizing it was a bad location to try to pry something so personal from Blaine anyway. “Okay fine, I'll help you set up instead,” he offered.

When it came to Kurt and his newfound situation he was reminded that finding himself in the company of women could be far more enjoyable than dealing with men. Not that he was about to jump ship, the whole reason girls were so easier to befriend was because wanting sex, or forming romantic feelings wasn't possible. Stephanie was nothing like the bitches he'd faced on campus, she was sweet and fun to be around. He was actually wanting to exchange information so they could get to know each other, whether that opened him to super personal questions or not. “So when did you meet Nick and Blaine?” Kurt asked her, choosing to go with a safe topic to start off with.

“At the start of my freshman year at USF, didn't take long for me to run into Nick on campus. He caught my eye right away and when he finally noticed me, his attempts to flirt were so cute and we just sort of clicked. So when Nick asked me out I said yes and the rest is history, we've been dating ever since,” Stephanie explained.

During her little story Kurt just nodded as he listened intently, when deep down he found it amazing that relationships could be that easy. Where two people liked each other, admitted it and started to date and everything was peachy keen.

“As for Blaine, I met him the same day I met Nick... since he and Blaine were pretty inseparable, they've got a pretty nice bromance going on. I didn't mind that, Blaine's so great and I never felt jealous or left out, I was included in their little clique from the start. Actually me coming into the picture didn't really change their dynamic, guess that happens when they've known each other for nearly a decade. Now that I think about it, Blaine didn't start to gravitate away from us until Sebastian showed up... well and you of course, Kurt,” Stephanie continued, giving him a playful wink.

There it was then, Kurt wasn't a fool so he knew there was bound to be some underlining teasing about him and Blaine. Because they were both gay, good friends and let's face it, widely attracted to each other physically, he had expected it. What he found surprising was how minimal the teasing felt and Kurt could tell she was more playfully jesting him. That made Kurt fight the urge to brush her off and stop the conversation before it could become trying for him. “Well the same goes for me, I didn't have anything that could be described as a social life before I met Sebastian... and Blaine,” he admitted.

Stephanie's sweet smile wavered for a moment, proving she was have an inner battle with her morals, another pleasant surprise for Kurt to encounter.

“What's on your mind?” Kurt urged.

“Oh um... well I'm not sure if I should ask you this Kurt... Blaine said you're a very private person. So you can just ignore me if you don't-” she began to explain nervously.

There was just no helping it, Kurt was in far too deep to resist Stephanie's charm, as he looked at her affectionately it was enough of a struggle not to cuddle her. Before getting to spend a week with Mercedes, Kurt had forgotten how much he missed having a close female friend. One he could gossip, hang out with and where things like sex or emotions, like he had touched on before, wouldn't fuck things up. “Yes I'm private but more so about my past, so you can go ahead and ask me... I can't guarantee I'll answer. But I won't be offended,” he assured.

“What's the deal with you three? I'm only asking because I don't want to make any wrong assumptions. I already know that just because you're gay doesn't mean Sebastian and Blaine are anything but your friends. But the one thing I hate the most is spreading rumours and if I asked around that might happen by mistake,” Stephanie asked.

Kurt didn't get angry at the question, the same one he had been dreading, and instead he broke out laughing. “Oh honey, we are so becoming friends,” he declared.

“Goodie! I mean I've secretly wanted a gay best friend of my very own and I can't have Blaine. He's Nicks and it wouldn't be healthy in our relationship to share him between us,” Stephanie exclaimed with delight.

“So if I were straight, I'd be rejected?” Kurt teased.

“Funny.”

Despite the easy way out of the question with the change in conversation, Kurt for once felt like he could give an honest answer. Wanting to see what that might feel like, Kurt went with it because he was curious if saying it out lout would make it true enough for Kurt's inner self to shut up. “Seeing as how we're friends now, I guess I'll answer your question. Since you asked so nicely... only go easy on me because being honest is still new ground to cover. My usual reaction to when people usually ask me questions is for me to tell them to fuck off,” Kurt admitted.

“Being a girl doesn't mean I don't want to do that at times and sometimes I do. Girls can be far more cruel than guys, trust me.”

“If you say so but back to boys for now... first with Sebastian, we're not a couple, not in any way but we are having casual sex,” Kurt told her casually.

“Really?” Stephanie asked as her eyes lit up in excitement.

“Sorry I'm not giving you the juicy details, I'm not that kind of gay friend,” Kurt sassed.

“Darn, okay so you're just as one would say 'friends with benefits' then?” Stephanie replied.

“More like fuck buddies, simply sex with no strings attached, where neither of us wants more and are fine with using each other for pleasure,” Kurt confirmed.

“What's that like?” Stephanie pressed.

“Well the sex part is good... and almost makes up for having to deal with the prick. Now onto Blaine... we're just friends, despite our obvious attraction to one another. But that's all I can offer him and sometimes I worry it's not enough for Blaine,” he explained with a tired sigh.

“So just fuck him again on your own, that should keep him happy,” A voice behind them, one that had a familiar smug tone to it, said.

At the sound of that jarringly smooth voice Kurt's reaction was to groan, of course it had been too long since Sebastian had popped out of no where and made Kurt want to punch him in the face. Ignoring his comment, which wasn't easy since it pretty much told how he'd slept with Blaine and not on his own, Kurt didn't bother to look his way in acknowledgement. “And the self absorbed prick finally makes his arrival like I knew he would,” Kurt called out to no one in particular.

“Glad you missed me, Kurt,” Sebastian commented.

“Oh yes I count the seconds until I see your stupid meerkat face,” Kurt muttered in annoyance. “Sorry about this,” Kurt said to Stephanie.

“Oh no, Nick's right, your guys banter is very entertaining. Besides, even though I know Sebastian forgets my presence I've seen it before at Feeling,” Stephanie informed them.

“What about your new sexual conquest?” Kurt asked.

“Fucked him last night, and this morning.”

“Was he worth it?”

“More or less, why? Jealous since we haven't fucked for a week?”

“Has it been that long?” Kurt answered mockingly.

Stephanie, who had been forgotten during Kurt and Sebastian's exchange, suddenly stepped in front of them. “Sorry to break it up boys but if you're done doing whatever the hell this could be called. I just got a text from Nick, Blaine and the others are ready to play. You did say you wanted to hear him sing Kurt, remember.”

“Why are you with a chick, Kurt? Decided to switch teams?” Sebastian asked as he eyed Stephanie.

“Oh for fucks sake Sebastian, learn to let up a bit, this is Stephanie, yah know, Nick's girlfriend...” Kurt explained.

“Nick's the straight one right? With a face and body that deems to be fuckable by my standards despite his preference to go for pussy,” Sebastian asked.

“Were you dropped on your head as a child?” Kurt shouted.

“Don't worry Kurt, I have three older brothers so I'm use to douchebaggery,” Stephanie declared as she pushed past Sebastian to head back towards the stage.

“Now her, I like,” Kurt commented with approval as he watched her strut off like a model in front of them. __________________________________________________________________________

“Did Stephanie really call Sebastian a douche-bag?” Blaine asked through his barely controlled laughter. He followed Kurt down the hall to his apartment, who was helping him haul back his sound equipment after the show.

Kurt laughed, “Yes, it was glorious, I think I'll keep her,” Kurt declared. When he saw Blaine scrunch his face up in amusement he sighed. “I don't mean literally, I have no intention to lock her up in my closet, Blaine!” Kurt muttered.

“I know that!” Blaine laughed.

When they reached their destination Blaine quickly opened the front door up and they stepped inside, unloading their heavy burden on the floor instantly. Kurt let out a light groan, was he imagining things or was the lack of sex making him stiffer. “You were amazing on stage Blaine, just like I knew you would be,” Kurt admitted with a smirk.

Blaine grinned at Kurt widely, the compliment, which Blaine knew was genuine, gave him the opening he had been hoping for. The fact that after the concert Sebastian had gone up and started to shamelessly flirt with one of Blaine's gay classmates and in result, the pair ditching everyone to head off on their own, was another good sign in Blaine's books. Armed with these two things, Blaine, for a rare occurrence, chose to make a very bold mood. He walked over to Kurt and suddenly leaned in close on Kurt's gorgeous face and kissed him.

Kurt had been caught too off guard to react the kiss at first, except as it usually was, doing the right thing when Blaine's mouth was on his wasn't easy. This kiss was different from any their had shared before. It was tender and soft and it made Kurt want more, more than he was willing to admit he wanted. Blaine's hand cupped the side of Kurt's cheek as he pressed his lips to Kurt's, slowly opening his mouth. When Blaine ended the kiss and pulled back just enough to see Kurt's eyelids flutter open and Kurt had to remember to breath. 'Oh fuck, he's going to do it,' Kurt thought with alarm.

“Why don't you stick around, Kurt,” Blaine suggested as he took hold of the back of Kurt's neck with his hands and pulled him close for another kiss.

This time Kurt knew he couldn't ignore the warning signals going off in his mind, it would be so easy to just give in and sleep with Blaine. Only reminding himself that if he did, Kurt would be giving Blaine false hopes, something he didn't deserve, made him stop. So Kurt finally did the thing he was dreading, he leaned back from Blaine, pulling their mouths apart and got ready to tell him, hating himself at that moment. “Blaine no, I'm sorry, this can't happen,” Kurt whispered.

Blaine froze from the unexpected rejection and he couldn't hide it from Kurt, who had no idea how to deal with hurting Blaine again. 'This is why all feeling do is fuck things up!' Kurt cried out in his mind in frustration. He didn't miss the irony that the act of Kurt turning Blaine's proposition down, because he wanted to remain his friend, could be the very thing to tear them out of each other’s lives.

“Why not? I'm not expecting anything but sex, Kurt...” Blaine began to assure.

“Don't you fucking dare, Blaine. Do not give up on love for me,” Kurt hissed at him in anger.

Blaine was starting to get angry too, he threw his hands up in the air in frustration and stormed off and away from Kurt, who could only watch him to pace back and forth in front of him. “I thought you didn't believe in love?”

“I don't, but you do. I can't be the reason Blaine; I couldn't handle the pressure it would bring. You're not cut out for having casual sex with anyone, me most of all. Nothing good would come of it, fuck... I mean yes the sex would be good, incredible even. But after it's over... no, it wouldn't work,” Kurt told Blaine, trying to explain himself without revealing too much.

“You think you know me so well, what if my mind change has nothing to do with you?” Blaine challenged.

Kurt walked over to Blaine and looked him straight in the eye. “Try to tell me it doesn't,” he pushed. When Blaine could only look at him helplessly he nodded at Blaine, not enjoying being right in the least. “You see, this isn't what either of us wants, Blaine. So I'm sorry, but I can't have sex with you. It will destroy our friendship. Though I know me turning you down like this might be a deal breaker for you. So if you can't keep being my friend because of this, I'll understand and I'll go through that door and walk out of your life,” Kurt offered indifferently, but on the inside his mind was screaming. 'Don't you fucking dare tell me to go for good Blaine, I don't want to loose you,'

No matter what Blaine said he'd end up loosing, either the chance to ever be anything more to Kurt than a mere friend. Or to loose the young man he had come to love with all his heart completely from his life. As hard as it would be to be around him after being shot down, Kurt was doing it because he cared. Blaine wouldn't even let himself begin to think if Blaine wasn't what he wanted, what did Kurt want, or who. Instead he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, fighting back the emotions risking coming to surface. “I won't let you walk out of my life Kurt, sorry but you're stuck with me.”

“So we'll keep doing what we're doing, we'll move past this and remain friends?” Kurt asked weakly.

Blaine nodded; taking Kurt's hand for a moment and squeezing it. “Yes,” he simply answered.

Kurt let out a large sigh of relief. He knew it was stupid but he leaned in and kissed Blaine, deciding to give him something very special, for being so generous. For the first time Kurt actually fully dropped his emotional walls and kissed Blaine like the teenage romantic in him would have. The kiss started out light as Kurt lightly pressed their lips together and then he got bolder. Without meeting any force the romantic in him crawled out and fully took over. By the time Kurt got back in control to end the kiss, the look on Blaine's face was hard to watch. “Okay that was probably the worst fucking thing to do when I just told you no, Blaine. So before you judge me, get angry, hurt or confused, let me explain,” Kurt pleaded softly.

Blaine at first could just gape at Kurt in surprise and he finally forced himself to nod in reply. “Okay,” he stuttered, his voice barely a whisper.

The simply gesture of reaching out to run his hand down Blaine's shoulder might of seemed innocent enough, but to Kurt, it meant a great deal. “That was my first kiss Blaine, which I willingly gave to you...”

“But you've-” Blaine began to protest but was silenced by Kurt's finger covering his lips.

“It was my first real kiss, the one that my teenage self dreamed of having five years ago, the one I should have gotten. But it wasn't, my first kiss was stolen from me in an act of hate so this is me, taking it back. I've never left myself fully open for any kiss I've gotten or gave, not with you or even Sebastian. But for the kiss I just gave you... I did and I'm sure you noticed the difference,” Kurt explained.

“Yeah... I did...” Blaine confirmed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I can't be your boyfriend Blaine, if that's even what you want from me and if I'm wrong... I'm sorry if that makes me seem presumptuous. You deserved to be loved and not to be used just for sex, I can tell you want real intimacy in your life. You need to be loved and you deserve to be with someone who can offer you everything you want. That person isn't me and I'm sorry but I still can't bring myself to say why that is...” Kurt continued but when it got to the part where he'd have to give a reason, he couldn't. Kurt's lips began to tremble and his body was shaking under the strain of trying to hold himself together for Blaine's sake.

It took seeing Kurt's pitiful state for the compassionate side of Blaine to react, but he was still effected enough for a tear to run down his cheek. How could he of been so selfish, loving Kurt didn't mean he had the right to expect anything from his friend. No matter how close they had become Blaine knew nothing about Kurt's past or why he was so against things like love and emotions. He had been blinded by love and now it was his turn to be as gracious as Kurt was trying to be, despite his obvious emotional baggage. So Blaine wouldn't allow himself to wallow in misery over being turned down and he brought his and Kurt's foreheads together to touch. “Thank you Kurt, it might not be the answer I was hoping for... but... I appreciated what you're trying to do for me. But stop, I can't stand seeing you go through so much pain,” Blaine said softly.

“Same here,” Kurt breathed in agreement.

“I uh... you'd better go... I still need some time to adjust to all this. But don't think for a second that this is the end of our friendship. If we can deal with being in a threesome with Sebastian, then we can cope with this,” Blaine said with an awkward laugh, using humour as defence mechanism.

Laughter could be used in many circumstances and like Blaine; Kurt chose to use it now to break tension and mask what he truly felt. Only trying to be funny didn't help this time, Kurt was too pissed off at himself and the world. Why the fuck hadn't he met Blaine instead of Travis back then, why was his becoming strong enough to survive and leave Lima mean he would have to reject someone like Blaine. Maybe love was real; it was still something Kurt could never embrace because he knew it would break him.

His emotional walls couldn't endure the stress and risk of heartache being in love would bring, if he were to bring that side of him back to life. It would be impossible to keep himself together and Kurt would end up breaking Blaine's heart, either by accident or on purpose so Blaine could accept they wouldn't work. That intense need for love that Kurt had once felt was so terrifying to him now, he couldn't loose himself in such a way, and he didn't have the ability. Any thoughts that this meant Blaine’s drunken love confession was real weren’t considered either. As soon as Blaine had asked Kurt to leave he felt equally relieved as when Blaine had added they would remain friends. There were too many examples in Kurt's short life to prove that daring to hope only brought let down and heartache. “That's a good idea... first one I've listened to in a long while. I'll go and you can call me when you're ready to see me again,” Kurt said as he walked to the door. “If you reach that point...” he added weakly.

“I will, this isn't goodbye, Kurt,” Blaine assured. 'I hope there's never a time when I don't want to hear your flawless voice or see gorgeous face, Kurt,' Blaine thought to himself sadly. But he didn't voice it.

Blaine watched as Kurt gave him a silent nod, smiling at him as he turned around and suddenly Blaine wanted to say more. But Kurt left the apartment in a rush, slipping out the door and Blaine lost the chance, not that he had really tried. He couldn't do it, no more than he could be brave enough to ask Kurt if the reason for turning him down wasn't due to whatever had happened in the past. That Kurt already had the thing he wanted, the person who suited his new current lifestyle and what Kurt had become. Where things weren't so complicated and worked for the better, and that his name was Sebastian Smythe.