Chapter Six

By the time Blaine was finally able to open up his heavy eyelids, it was to the discovery that his fatigue wasnt the only thing weighing him down, even if at first he felt too groggy and hungover to really understand what it meant. “Where am I?” he mumbled tiredly.

At the sound of Blaines voice, a figure stirred from close behind him on the bed. “Would you believe... in bed with Kurt Hummel?” a weak voice croaked back.

More awake, Blaine realized that it must be Kurts arm clamped tightly around his waist. Blaine forced himself to turn around, though it felt like it took all the strength left in him to accomplish the feat. But there was no denying it, no matter how much Blaines head was pounding; his bedmate was none other than the co-manager of Dare to Flare and, until last night, his sworn enemy. “Oh yeah... we got set up on a blind date...” Blaine muttered at the discovery.

Kurt let out a pained groan, “Fuck, Im so hung over... How much did we even drink last night?”

Blaine tried and failed to sit up and bed, falling back to the mattress with a bounce. Aside from the usual symptoms that came along with waking up with a killer hangover, there were other things he noted at well. “Forget about how much we drank… How about all the sex we had?” he countered.

Kurt was more used to that particular type of soreness and so he managed to sit upright. His memory from the night prior was patchy at best but he already knew the answer. “A lot, on both accounts,” Kurt announced.

That sounded about right to Blaine, who also felt equally worn out from their nighttime activities, whatever that had entailed. “It happens to the best of us...” he replied, not really having any point to make.

“Do you remember anything?” Kurt questioned.

“Um, not much…” Blaine admitted, “Except that it sure was fun.”

If Blaine was willing to admit to that, then Kurt wasnt about to deny it either. He might not remember most of the night, but he remembered enjoying it. “It was, wasnt it? Who knew that drunken sex spawned from anger could be that funny,” Kurt said.

“Are you saying my sexual techniques were something to laugh at?” Blaine accused, letting the sarcasm tinge his voice as he elbowed Kurt lightly.

Kurt brought his hand down to pinch Blaines buttock lightly. “From what I can recall, you did amazingly well,” he assured.

Blaine smiled at what had to be the first sincere compliment Kurt had ever given him. “Well I sure remember laughing a ton, and not at your expense, before you ask.”

“Good to know,” Kurt sassed as he leaned over to give Blaine a quick peck on the lips.

Blaine remained lying there as he stared up at the ceiling. If he were to look Kurts way, even in his dishevelled state, he knew just the sight of him could get his motor running. Maybe. He was pretty sore and woefully hungover so getting it up right now, tragically, might not be a possibility. “Um... should I go?” Blaine offered.

The question brought Kurts attention away from his thoughts and back to the naked man at his side. “Do you want to go that badly?” he asked.

Blaine instantly regretted asking and hearing the hurt in Kurt's voice reminded him how very little they knew about one another. “No, I just wasnt sure if youd want me to stay,” he quickly explained.

Kurt let out a tired sigh. It was true that he normally didnt like his sex partners (new ones anyway) to stick around. Even his regular hook-ups rarely stayed the night, so mornings like this never really happened. “You can stick around, at least until weve both recovered a bit more,” he said.

“Thanks,” Blaine simply replied, fine to leave it at that.

Kurt was happy to lie on the bed and recuperate for a while, but Blaine couldn't keep quiet for long.

“How many times do you think we did it?” Blaine asked absentmindedly.

Kurt snickered, “I have no idea. But we can count the used condoms later to find out for sure.”

Such a task would have to wait and just when Kurt thought he could manage to make them a pot of coffee, a different urge moved him forward, right off the bed and racing toward his bathroom and where he barely made it to the toilet before vomiting.

Never in his wildest dreams would Blaine ever think hed find himself listening to Hard-Ball-Hummel barf. Hummel. Right, since the second Blaine had learned his first name was Kurt, Blaine felt like hed met a different person. But Hummel and Kurt were the one and the same and that wasnt something he should forget.

Now up on his feet with his stomach empty, Kurt made no to attempts to regain his composure as he stood up and flushed. “Well, that sure wasnt fun,” he said with a moan.

Blaine knew the feeling; the act of laughing thanks to Kurts dry wit proved too dangerous. He was up with a start and shoved past Kurt to start his own upheaval.

Such was the cost for not knowing when to quit drinking and there was no use in complaining about it. Kurt left Blaine to it, finding no urge to hold his head up or offer any sort of moral support. Instead, he chose to head into the kitchen and make them a pot of coffee; a far better alternative in his mind. He didnt bother to get dressed because there wasnt a modest bone left in his body. Besides, he wanted to shower before putting any clothing on.

Blaine appeared right when Kurt was putting the finishing touches on his own mug and he took a deep breath of the delicious smell. “Is that coffee I detect?” he asked hopefully.

Kurt smirked. “The very best,” he confirmed and handed Blaine his own mug.

Just the pick-me-up Blaine needed, but when he took a long drink and ended up sputtering off in choking coughs.

“Take it easy there Blaine; whats your rush?” Kurt remarked.

Hearing Kurt call him by his first name still felt so weird, but even that couldn't override just how nice it sounded rolling off his tongue. “Im okay... I just took a bit more than I could handle,” Blaine wheezed, which for some reason caused Kurt to laugh. “What?”

Kurt tried to act like he was innocent but his snickering wasnt fooling anyone. “I think something similar happened last night but it wasnt coffee you nearly choked on,” he explained.

Blaine rolled his eyes at the little taunt. “I survived,” he scoffed as he took a more controlled drink this time. “Im just glad I dont have to work at the diner today...” he muttered.

In anticipation for his arranged date, Kurt had also booked the morning off and was now equally relieved. Not that hed expected to go so far last night, but Kurt had learned long ago it was best to prepare for the unknown. But no amount of anticipation could have helped Kurt predict that his blind date would turn out to be Oates. Or that they would put their differences aside and manage to have a fun night. Kurts memory was still hazy but he would have remembered more if the sex had been disappointing. He also doubted his ass and jaw would be so sore for that matter.

“Any idea where our clothes are?” Blaine finally asked when his mug was nearly empty.

Kurt shook his head. “No clue. Do you have a problem with standing in my kitchen going au naturel? I dont have any roommates if thats what youre worried about,” Kurt assured.

Blaine already knew from club gossip that Kurt lived alone, but the confirmation was reassuring. “Considering what we got up to last night. No, I dont mind that were still undressed,” Blaine said.

That Blaine didn't look the least bit intimidated convinced Kurt that he was telling the truth. Luckily the heating in his apartment was blissfully warm as well so there was no chill in the air to add any real discomfort. “As soon as my cup's done we can go hunting,” Kurt told him. Hed wanted to start the cleanup process next anyway.

As soon as the caffeine kicked in Kurt continued his host responsibilities by supplying enough painkillers to dull the aftermath of their sexual adventures. Now feeling somewhat better, both men got down to business that was tragically lacking in sex-related activities, as they were both too sore, hung over and, above all, in no mood to try their luck.

Since sex was out of the question, Blaine focused on collecting their discarded clothes, following the trail from the living room right to the foot of Kurts bed. Kurt was there as well but Blaine was fine to leave him to his own devices. Blaine could still barely wrap his head around what had happened, starting right with how he still didnt know what exactly had gone down when theyd made it to the bedroom. He remembered a kiss which had led to them swiftly rushing off to Kurts place and right into bed. Thats where the laughter came in and what he gathered was a satisfying night all things considered, full of pleasure, amusement and drunken festivities. Really, Blaine was just relieved that Kurt hadnt freaked out when theyd woken up in bed together because the person Blaine had pegged Kurt for originally would have surely blown up and kicked his sore ass to the curb.

Unbeknownst to Blaine, the reason why Kurt hadnt taken his usual dramatic route was because hed been too tired to give that much effort. In all honesty, Kurt was growing tired of his childish feud with Oates and now that hed gotten a hint of the real Blaine, his aversion was lessening. Kurt still had no idea what would happen next but he didnt want to think about the possibilities right now. So he chose to focus on cleaning up and deal with the rest later on. Sure enough it didnt take long for Kurt to find the first used condom in his fancy white waste basket. “Well... we were sober enough to throw one condom in the trash bin...” Kurt began as he searched for the rest. “But after that we must have gotten sloppy,” he added.

Blaine turned to look Kurts way and chuckled, “That must have been before you brought out the champagne,” he deduced.

Kurt nodded in agreement. “If my memory serves, you topped for that,” he said as he scanned the floor nearby for any discarded condoms.

“Oh yeah right, we played that game of yours where we flipped a condom to decide. Though really I came out just as much of a winner as you. But you should totally patent that,” Blaine joked.

Kurt laughed at Blaines attempt at humour but as he continued his search and was finding nothing so far, things stopped being so funny. Kurt dropped to the floor on his hands and knees as he looked around for used condoms. When he couldnt find any on the visible floor, Kurt bent under his bed and crawled half underneath it.

Blaine cocked his head to the side curiously as he watched Kurts naked behind bob up and down with his efforts. “What are you doing?”

Kurts casual demeanour was changing to panic at an alarming rate. “I cant find any!” Kurt shouted in desperation.

“Find what?” Blaine asked, confused.

But Kurt ignored Blaines question. Where were the rest of the condoms? It didnt take a genius to know theyd done anal a number of times, but so far Kurt had only found one in the trash and there were no signs of any others. He did find plenty of used tissues, but that only made Kurt more alarmed at what it could mean. Just when Kurt was about to lose all hope he found some but not in the condition he'd wanted.

Blaine was about to ask Kurt what was going on again when he came out from under the bed and whirled up to face him. Why did he look so worried? Scared even? “What? Whats wrong?” Blaine asked in confusion.

In Kurts outstretched hand was a full roll of condoms, all of which were unbroken and there were no signs that any attempts to open one had been made. “This isnt possible. Not for me...” Kurt stammered in shock. “Theres no way...”

Nothing Kurt was saying made any sense to Blaine and as if that werent frustrating enough, Kurt made no attempts to explain his panic, instead going back to his frantic search and making Blaine even more baffled by the scene before him. “Why are you so freaked out?”

“I cant find any more used condoms! Where the fuck are they?” Kurt hissed before darting off to the living room.

The answer didnt add up to Blaine and he still had no idea why Kurt was acting so strange. “So? For all we know we could have flushed them or something.”

“I doubt it,” Kurt rejected.

“Well maybe we pulled out and took the condoms off before coming?” Blaine offered next.

But Kurt wasnt buying that explanation either, because there still would have been opened condoms lying around if that were the case. “Why are you making up excuses?” he grumbled.

“Im just trying to come up with a reason, without acting crazy,” Blaine pointed out.

Nothing Blaine was telling him made Kurt want to calm down, not when hed found the worst clue yet. “Oh yeah?” Kurt muttered in annoyance as he came over to Blaine and placed a box in his hand for the young man to inspect. “Try to explain this to me while remaining calm,” he challenged.

Blaine frowned and looked inside the object now in his hand, it was an almost full box of condoms. Why would something like this make him freak out? He got what that meant and yet he didnt join Kurt in his moment of panic. “Okay, I guess we didnt use anymore condoms then. So?” he said.

Kurt could hardly believe what he was hearing. He knew some gay men thought they were impervious but he'd hardly pegged Blaine as one of them. Here was yet another misconception hed made since theyd first met. “So? So?! Oh my god, Blaine, why arent you getting why this is huge deal? I never have unprotected sex!” Kurt shouted, not commenting on the fact that, before meeting Adam, Kurt had gone there, many times, and hed vowed to never do it again, no matter what.

Naive to the reality of their situation, Blaine couldnt understand why Kurts reaction was so extreme. It wasnt like either of them could get pregnant, so what was the deal? Aside from having an easier clean up, using protection was optional.

“Well I think its pretty clear you did last night. Because my ass is super sore and we both know youre the reason for that,” Blaine announced.

“There is no way I could be that stupid,” Kurt argued.

Was Kurt intentionally implying that Blaine was the one to blame? That if theyd had unprotected sex it was all his fault? “Unless you were drunk enough to be that stupid,” Blaine declared as he picked up the empty bottle of champagne off the floor and waved it at Kurt. “And we know whos to blame for that happening,” he dared to add.

There was no use denying the evidence and Kurt wasnt handling the reality of the situation appropriately. “How were we so careless?” Kurt asked in disbelief.

“I dont see what the big deal is. So we fucked bareback.” He shrugged. “It looks like we cleaned up after it just fine.”

Kurt was too angry to ask for the real reason why Blaine was acting so calm, or to even think about it himself. He was too busy frantically pacing back and forth as he attempted to keep his temper in check but he was failing miserably. What Kurt needed right now was to learn more about Blaines sexual history.

“Have you have unprotected sex before tonight?” Kurt asked suddenly.

Blaine blinked in surprise. “Yes. I have,” he answered straight away. Like most gay men, Blaine thought to himself begrudgingly.

This wasnt happening. Kurt was always so safe when it came to sex and no amount of alcohol had made him forget about protection before. The only variable was Blaine and while deep down Kurt knew it wasnt intentional, it still was hard not to erupt at him. “Please tell me it wasnt recent or that youve gotten tested since then!” Kurt demanded.

Blaine's willingness to reply stopped as soon as he realized what Kurt was getting at. “Wait, you think Ive given you and STD, dont you?”

Kurt waved away the accusation. “Just answer the question!”

There was no use in arguing; not with how quickly Kurts anger was escalating. “Like I said, Ive had unprotected sex before. The most recent of which was with Angelo a few days ago. But you should know how some guys refuse to use condoms,” Blaine started to explain.

“Thats when you tell them no!” Kurt hissed.

“Except I really wanted to have sex,” Blaine stated without a hint of shame.

“What about the tests?”

Again, Blaine couldnt see why Kurt thought STD screening was so necessary. “Ive never gotten tested before because Ive always been healthy. No symptoms have ever shown up either, so I know Im clean,” Blaine admitted.

Shocked into disbelief and barely able to control his volatile aversion to everything Blaine was telling him, Kurt was aghast. “Well I hope the sex was worth it because now youve put us both in danger,” Kurt snapped.

Blaine didnt like Kurts tone, or how he kept acting like everything was his fault. “Dont you dare blame me for all this! Its not like I forced you to stop using protection! If youd asked me to wear one I would have and I did the first time! So if we both got too drunk then fucking bareback is hardly my fault alone!” Blaine barked back.

“Dont you try to get off on a technicality here! Im not the one whos recently had unprotected sex!”

“Hah! Its not like condoms are foolproof though! They can break!”

“That still doesnt make up for your careless actions!”

“Do I look sick to you?”

Kurt couldnt take it anymore; it was time for him to give Blaine a long overdue reality check. “It can take weeks, months even before any symptoms can occur! People can carry an STD without knowing it and spread it to their sexual partners! The whole reason the risk is so high among gay men is because safe sex hasnt caught on yet! Havent you heard of a thing called AIDS?”

Of course Blaine had heard about the recently diagnosed disease that had been instantly linked to the gay community, but he'd always thought it was something the closed-minded had blown out of proportion, using fear to exploit the gullible and pass AIDS off as a divine punishment for homosexual sin sent from the hands of God himself. “I didnt give you AIDS, Kurt!”

Oh how Kurt wanted to believe him, because contrary to what Blaine may think, he wasnt enjoying himself. But Kurt knew better than anyone that the dangers were too grave to ignore. “You cant say that for sure, Blaine, not unless we both get tested. Right away!”

While Kurt was right, Blaine felt very offended at how he was basically saying that he alone had inadvertently put them at risk while the great Kurt Hummel was too sensible to ever have unprotected sex. When Kurt took a step towards him, Blaine threw his hands up in surrender. “Alright! Alright! Ill get tested. Not because I think Ive put us in any danger but since its the responsible thing to do,” he promised.

Kurt believed his sincerity. It didnt make him feel relieved, but he was finally able to realize hed gone about his reaction the wrong way. Because Blaine had a point; forgetting to use protection was as much his fault as Blaines. “Thank you,” he said softly.

Kurts act of maturity, although hardly commendable, brought back Blaines usual politeness. Deep down he was still confused, offended and a little hurt at Kurts harsh treatment but he pushed it aside (for now). “I get it, youre scared,” he offered.

He didnt though, not really. Because Blaine had no idea why Kurt was afraid and the man in question had no intention of telling him his reasons. There was no time for that. Kurt wanted Blaine out of the apartment and gone so he could head off to make an appointment at his doctors office. Now feeling more exposed, Kurt let out a long shuddering sigh as he took the navy house coat hung on his bedroom door and wrapped it around himself.

When it was clear Kurt wasnt going to say anything in reply, Blaine went over to the bed to slip on his rumpled pants. Blaine got the feeling that hed more than worn out his welcome by this point but he felt compelled to stay. If he were to run out now, when Kurt was so vulnerable, then he feared what would happen the next time they crossed paths. Experiencing the walk of shame when the morning had gone so horribly wrong didnt sound very fun to him. “Is there anything else I can do?” Blaine offered.

Kurt shook his head. “No, you should go...” he replied, in an attempt to avoid showing weakness.

Blaines eyes widened. “Youre kicking me out?” he asked in shock.

The request hadnt sounded even remotely cold to Kurt, so why was Blaine acting so offended? “Im asking you to leave... for both our sakes. If I wanted you gone, youd be out on the street by now,” Kurt snapped.

But Blaine wasn't willing to leave it at that so easily. “So thats it then? We didnt use protection and suddenly Im not welcome here? I know we messed up, but you dont need be so harsh,” Blaine said.

“You think Im being harsh? Oh, that is rich. You have no idea what Im capable of,” Kurt said with a mocking laugh.

This was hardly a laughing matter and Blaine found Kurts nerve very antagonizing. “I think youre glad this happened. Because it gives you a reason to keep hating me!” Blaine accused.

Kurt was so very finished with dealing with Blaine and his lip. “I asked you nicely... Dont push me, Blaine,” he warned with clenched teeth.

“Im not trying to provoke you; I just dont think we should leave it like this,” Blaine countered.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “And what do you mean by it exactly? We had sex, Blaine; end of story,” Kurt said, doing windmills with his arms to emphasis.

“What happened to you saying that youre a romantic at heart? I thought you were sick of just having a string of casual fucks? Now suddenly youre trying to minimize what happened between us. My, how youve changed your tune,” Blaine said bitterly.

“Cant you see how fucking stupid it is to keep arguing like this? Its time we face the possible consequences. So sorry if you think Im acting like us having sex meant nothing... Oh wait, Im really not,” Kurt said.

Blaine had hoped if they got nothing else from their racy night of fun, theyd at least be on better terms from now on. He wasnt a bad person; he was just a human being who was bound to make foolish mistakes. At the start, Blaine thought perhaps Kurt could come to understand this, but now, such an outcome was unlikely, if not downright impossible. “Fine!” Blaine grumbled as he gathered up his remaining clothes and stormed off toward the door. “I can take a hint!”

Kurt held his ground and made no attempts to apologize or justify his actions.

Blaine stopped at the door and turned to Kurt so he could give the last word. “Thanks for nothing!”

Kurt grabbed onto Blaines arm to stop him from leaving. “You need to look at the bigger picture. Our health is at stake... So we need to grow up and get tested,” he urged.

Blaine yanked his arm out of Kurts hold, still very upset. “You have my word, not that it means much to you,” he said bitterly.

His limit reached, Kurt let Blaine go without another word and the door slammed shut behind him, echoing loudly in the sudden quiet of the apartment. Now alone, Kurt fell to the floor on his knees and hugged himself. Crying out his pain in muffled sobs, he shook as he finally broke down. He didnt want his life to end, not when there was so much to live for. So much he hadnt done. “All I wanted was to make it to the ‘90s. Was that so fucking much to ask for?”
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As it turned out; there was quite a lot Blaine hadn't known when it came to AIDS, starting right with how he would actually need to be tested for HIV. But even then the wait for the results would take longer than Blaine had expected. According to his doctor it could take up to three weeks to know for sure. Twenty-one days too long as far as Blaine was concerned. But that was the least of his concerns right now and when it came to many of his problems, Blaine had no idea what to do. Missing work was out of the question though, and so after coming back from the hospital hed gone off to rehearsals at the club, fully expecting to see no signs of Kurt. Normally, Blaine would have no problem with keeping distance from the frustrating man, but not this time.

The problem was that Kurt Hummel was a hard man to locate when he didnt want to be found. He was always one step ahead of the young performer and ever on the move, and Blaine wasnt about to resort to asking anyone else where to find him; hed learned his lesson by now. His search was put on hold during the show that night but as soon as his performer mode was switched off he quickly got back on track.

He figured his best bet was not to run after Kurt but to lay in wait. Finally, Blaines perseverance paid off as the pair came face-to-face with one another but Kurts first instinct was to turn around and walk off, ignoring him outright.

“Oh come on!” Blaine muttered as he raced after Kurt.

But it was no use; judging by his quickened pace the co-manager of Flare was in no mood to face him.

Seeing no other alternative, Blaine resorted to playing dirty. “Kurt, stop!” he called out.

The ploy worked, maybe a little too well, as Kurt turned on his heels and walked right up and into Blaines personal space.

“Please refrain from using my first name here! It wont do you any good, trust me,” Kurt hissed with clenched teeth.

“I didnt see how else I could get you to stop,” Blaine said.

“Come back with your test results and then well talk,” Kurt replied.

“That will take weeks! I cant wait that long!” Blaine exclaimed.

“Well its not my fault if you didnt know how long the tests would take.”

“You need to stop blaming me for everything!” Blaine grunted in annoyance.

Kurt was in too fragile state of mind to deal with this right now. He was having a hard enough time just getting through the day, and he couldn't see how explaining his reasons to the man in front of him was going to help. Kurt clung to the idea that avoiding Blaine altogether was the best way to power through. So he tried to escape him but Blaine was having none of that and countered his every move.

“Will you please just talk to me?” Blaine pleaded.

It was probably pointless but Kurt figured he at least owed Blaine enough to attempt to make him understand what was really going on before hed be forced to use more aggressive means to get Blaine to back off and leave him alone. “Dont you get it? Thats worst thing I could do right now! I am barely holding it together. Ill just lash out at you if I were to even try. We already have plenty of reasons to keep hating each other, so is there really any need for more? So please, if you have any respect for me at all, what I need you to do is just leave me be.”

Blaine might have bought Kurts sincerity, if not for the fact that before hed discovered they hadnt used protection the guarded man had showed signs of finally opening up to him. Now that there was the scare of contracting something, Kurt suddenly had reverted back to his usual self, pushing Blaine away and tossing him aside like he was worthless. “What if I cant leave it alone?” Blaine asked. “Will that make me the more selfish one?”

Blaine had no way to know that Kurts efforts to push him away and ignore their situation had nothing to do with what he felt on the inside. Kurt couldnt rely on anyone because whenever he did they were always taken from him. There was no way around it then; Kurts warnings had gone unheeded. “Just fuck off and give me some space! Because the only way Ill get through the next few weeks is to keep myself distracted! So Im going to act like nothing's happened between us and it would be wise for you to do the same,” Kurt suggested.

“Ignoring everything wont make it go away,” Blaine argued.

Kurt was sick of Blaine and his meddling. He had to get away. “If I were you, Id focus on educating yourself to the dangers you know nothing about. Because we could have avoided this if --” Kurt began.

“-- I knew it! You do blame me for us fucking bareback! You think its my fault!” Blaine interrupted.

“Stop acting like you know what Im thinking! You are the farthest thing from my mind right now and I plan on keeping it that way,” Kurt snapped back, trying to convince himself he wasn't lying outright.

Blaine stepped back, signalling that he was equally done. “Go right ahead,” he said begrudgingly as he gestured for Kurt to go, which Kurt took without giving any snarky comebacks and Blaine could only stand there in disbelief as he took off.

Sam finally made his own appearance shortly after Kurts departure, unaware of what hed just missed. But the blond did notice how Blaine seemed upset about something and angry. “Hey, you okay?” Sam asked.

Blaine glanced at his friend, still scowling. “Im fine...” he muttered, more to convince himself than Sam.
______________________________________________________________________________

Work at Flare had been gruelling for Kurt, not because anything had happened but rather because of his inner turmoil. Thankfully, although Kurt wasnt proud of it, Blaine had backed off after their talk that night. But even without him there to constantly remind Kurt of what he was now facing, putting his fear aside was easier said than done. Case in point, when Kurt was home at last he was so drained that he could barely muster enough energy to collapse on his couch gracelessly. Kurt remained there, lying like the living dead for well over twenty minutes but sleep wouldnt come. His mind was very active with worry and dread and he was too weak to fight it. It didnt matter if the chance that hed contracted HIV was 50-50 at best; in Kurts mind his life was already forfeit. Because as past track records had proven, loss was never far away.

Suddenly the phone started to ring but Kurt made no attempts to get up and answer it. That had to be Rachel, calling yet again to see how the blind date had gone. Kurt knew stalling when it came to his adoptive sister was extremely foolish but he didnt want to face her yet. When he finally did get up off off the couch, it was only to pour himself a generous glass of red wine. With glass in hand, Kurt returned to his sofa and managed to gingerly sit down this time. He let out a tired sigh; Kurt had never felt so lost before.

Try as he might, Kurt couldnt keep Blaine out of his mind. His thoughts kept coming back to their night together and what hed possibly felt during. There was something there. A connection, and one Kurt hadnt felt before. Kurt was too fragile to face the young man to see what this feeling could lead to though. Fear had taken hold, fear for his life, and that wasnt the only thing in the way. But when it came to those thoughts, Kurt was determined to push them deep down inside himself.

Kurts hand absentmindedly found its way to the crease in his sofa cushions and it came in contact with something odd. Frowning, Kurt put down his wine glass to investigate and fished out the unknown item. It was an undone bowtie, one that right away Kurt knew wasnt his. Its Blaines, Kurt thought. There wasnt anyone else he knew, besides himself, who would wear such a classy fashion accessory.

In Kurts hand was a valid reason to approach Blaine, but Kurt doubted he could do it. For one thing, Kurt had made his intentions very clear. Backtracking and actually reaching out to Blaine, even to return his bowtie, would send the man very mixed signals. Giving it back could wait until their test results came back.

Kurt was used to being alone, and he had no plans to tell anyone about the test. Whenever Rachel finally horned in then hed change the story enough to leave the forgetting protection part out. As long as Blaine kept his mouth shut, the plan could work.

It was hard for Kurt to know how Blaine was faring and if he was also hiding his fears under a far friendlier-looking smile. If anything Blaine was probably angry at Kurt and he was fine with that, if it kept him at arm's length. It was cowardly to be sure and yet Kurt was so adamant that it was what he had to do to get by. Because what was the point in confessing anything if there was no future for him and Blaine to even discover?_______________________________________________________________________________

Getting a full night's sleep and working out all his frustrations by washing dishes hadnt done much to help Blaine. Contrary to what he had told Sam, Blaine Anderson was far from alright. The worst of it was that Blaine was more hurt than angry about Kurts cold treatment. He knew their blind date had hardly been magical but still, why was he trying so hard to push him away? Yes there was the whole ‘do either of us have AIDS?' thing but Kurt was still being ridiculous. Or was he? Blaine really wasnt sure about anything when it came to Kurt, starting with his own feelings for the snarky young man. It was pretty hard to determine if his attraction to Kurt was only physical in nature when he was avoiding Blaine like the plague.

Plague. Bad choice of words. Very bad. It quickly reminded Blaine how Kurt was acting like hed already given him AIDS.

Anger wedged its way back in by the end of his shift at the diner and Blaine wasn't about to track Kurt down to confront him about it. He had another idea, one that was equally foolish, but Blaine wasnt in his usual state of mind at the moment. Besides, he had a good reason to go to the dance studio; hed been invited before and there was a missed call to get back to.

When the door to one particular dance studio sprung open, the face of the brunette woman sitting at the desk instantly brightened. “Oh Blaine! Its so good to see you!” Rachel greeted excitedly. “Kurt wont answer any of my calls! Im dying to know how the date went!”

Little did Rachel know that Blaines impromptu visit wasnt due to any pleasantries; he was there to vent. Blaine stormed up to the desk, looking downright infuriated as he glared at her. “Badly,” Blaine said in a loud and annoyed tone.

Rachel frowned in surprise. That was the last thing shed expected Blaine to say. He and Kurt were such a perfect match! “What happened?” she exclaimed.

Normally Blaine would have the sense to consider that Kurt wouldn't want Rachel to know the details of their date. But screw it, Kurt wasnt there himself and hed done nothing to make Blaine hold himself back. Not here, and he knew Rachel wouldnt blab anything he told her. Or at least, hed convinced himself enough in the heat of anger to go with it. “Nothing magical for one thing! Im already acquainted with your amazing brother for starters,” Blaine began.

“You are?”

“I got hired as a cover band artist at Dare to Flare a few weeks ago. So Ive crossed paths with Kurt many times... none of which were the least bit pleasant! Right from the start, Hummel, he...” Blaine fumed, reverting back to using his last name. “Hes gone out of his way to dislike me. Me! Someone who is super easy to get along with!” Blaine fumed.

Rachels mind was whirling. Blaine was raving and she still had no clue why. “Hold on, if you two knew each other already...” she began.

But Blaine already knew what Rachel was getting at. “We would have known we were being set up? You would think that right? But up until our blind date, we only knew each other as Hummel and Oates,” Blaine started to explain, pausing when he caught Rachels confused look. “Its a long story. Dont ask.”

Blaine neednt have bothered anyway, since Rachel was too focused on the current story. “Im almost afraid to ask what happened when you met at the restaurant,” Rachel admitted.

Here was where the story took a surprising turn. “Dont be so sure. I got there first and by the time I noticed Kurt, it was already too late. Only, after the unpleasant discovery was made, he didnt bail. He sat right down at the table and started scowling me down. Like Id fooled him somehow...” Blaine continued, still grumbling away.

Rachel might have known Kurt for well over fifteen years but she had no idea how he would react to such a scenario, which meant that, for once, she needed to keep her mouth shut and refrain from interrupting Blaine too much. “And?” she urged.

“His answer to dealing with everything was turn to drinking!” Blaine nearly shouted as he started to pace bath and forth in front of Rachel. “Who the hell drinks vodka straight!” he snapped, yelling this time in his anger.

The outburst boomed across the room, bringing attention to the pair and causing a man and a woman to hurry into the room. At the sight of them Rachel held up her hand, signalling there was no cause for alarm. “Its alright! Hes a friend!” Rachel called out in assurance.

But seeing how Blaine was a very upset and raging friend, Rachel decided it was better to relocate to a more contained and private area. “Judy, could you do me a favour and take over at the front desk? Something just came up which needs my personal attention,” Rachel chimed.

Blaine, who by this point was still angry despite any embarrassment he felt, made no protest. He hadnt come to yell at Rachel. Though in all honesty, he wasnt sure what hed come to do. Since Rachel wasnt tossing him out of the studio he merely allowed her to guide him down the hall. “Rachel, Im sorry. I dont know what came over me!” he said.

Rachel brought him to a door and, once they were both inside the small office, closed it behind and took a seat. “Its alright, Blaine. Youre clearly upset about what happened with you and Kurt. So Ill offer you the opportunity to tell me and vent out your frustrations,” she told him.

Blaine let out a tired sigh. Boy did he need to get it all out. “I guess youve had a lot of practice with Kurt over the years,” he pointed out.

Rachel shook her head. “Not really. Kurt is a very private person, so he keeps most of his problems to himself,” she corrected.

“Of course he does,” Blaine muttered as he ran his hands through his hair.

The more Blaine talked, the more Rachel thought there was something bigger happening than just a blind date gone wrong. “Why dont you start from the beginning, Blaine?” she prompted.

Blaine nodded. “So, Kurt ordered a double vodka and I foolishly had the same... But at first we kept things cordial... for us anyway. We just talked, though we were hardly amused with the situation. But by the time we started on our second drinks things sort of... escalated,” Blaine explained.

When Blaines dramatic pause started to try Rachels patience, she couldnt take the anticipation anymore. “Did you two start fighting and get kicked out?”

Blaine let out a mocking laugh. “Oh we got kicked out alright, but not for starting a fist fight. We kissed,” he said without warning.

Rachels eyes widened in shock. “You did what?”

He let out a loud laugh; the situations was hardly funny but Rachels reaction was so amusing to watch. “Yep, crazy huh? I'm still not really sure how it happened. We were taunting each other and I guess the building sexual tension was too much to ignore. So in the heat of the moment we kissed and it was far from chaste ... so we were politely asked to leave the restaurant,” Blaine explained.

“I wouldnt worry, Blaine. As far as Kurts concerned, hes done a lot worse...” she began to assure him.

“Oh, Im not done and Im not upset about the kiss. It was fucking amazing! So good that we put our feud aside and beelined it right to Kurts apartment.”

“You two had sex?” Rachel blurted out.

“And then some!” Blaine confirmed. “The sex also isnt the reason why Im pissed off right now. Sure we were drunk and my memory of that night is still pretty jumbled ... but I can remember how fun it was. I think after the first time we did it, Kurt opened up a bottle of champagne and apparently we managed to drink the whole thing, which is probably the cause of our memory lapse,” Blaine told her, but as he continued the story his mood began to darken and his light smile reverted back to a bitter frown.

Rachel caught the change in Blaine and she swore he almost looked hurt. “Nothing youve told me is that bad Blaine,” she said.

“I know... its whats happened the next morning that made things go all to hell. We both woke up totally hung over but the mood was light. I mean, there was no point in getting angry with one another or at ourselves, you know? There was no need to, either. The sex had been very good by all accounts, so yeah, I had no plans to leave there in an angry huff. Kurt showed no signs of kicking me out either, and he even made coffee for the both of us,” Blaine explained as he started to pace again. “Right when I thought maybe Kurt and I had reached a breakthrough and that there could be something there... he started freaking out! And for what? Just because we didnt use any protection after the first time --” Blaine started to rant, only he didnt get very far.

Rachel shot up from her chair, gaping at Blaine in total shock. “You did what?” she shouted again.

Blaine stared at her in shocked disbelief, because her extreme reaction was exactly the same as Kurts. “What is with everyone doing that? Why am I the only one not going off the deep end?”

Right when Rachel was about to lecture Blaine, she saw the hurt on his face and it suddenly dawned on her. “Oh my god, Blaine, you dont know, do you?” she quickly said in near horror.

Frustrated beyond his ability to control his temper, Blaine had had it up to here with Kurt and anyone related to him. “Know what?” he barked.

Rachel, who now knew how to handle over-dramatic men, chose to cut right to the case. “About Adam.”

Blaine frowned, making it clear that he didnt. “Who the fuck is Adam?” he asked impatiently.

“He was Kurts boyfriend, who died two years ago from AIDS,” Rachel said at point blank.

In one instant Blaines anger ceased and was replaced with gut-wrenching guilt that made him feel sick to his stomach. “I think Im going to be sick...” Blaine said, nearly gagging on his words. True to his assumptions, his insides churning, Blaine stood up and did the only thing he could: he made a dive for the wastebasket at the side of the desk to vomit. When he was finally done, Blaine wiped the side of his mouth with his hand but he didnt feel much better. He slumped down on the floor. “I -- I dont know what to say...” he stuttered.

Rachel crouched down beside Blaine to place a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Kurt isnt very talkative when it comes to his personal life. So you had no way to know... and while I know that wont fully make up for his actions. I hope it explains them somewhat. What happened, Blaine? Did he push you away and ask you to leave?” Rachel coaxed.

Blaine took a deep breath as he stood back up, nodding in confirmation as he tried to wrap his head around this new information. Rachel was right; Kurts cold treatment towards him was still uncalled for in Blaines mind. But now he knew the source of Kurts fear and as he thought back on their exchange, his queasiness was getting worse. “Yes he did. After he found out Ive had unprotected sex and have never been tested... but not before he started to lecture me on my stupidity,” Blaine admitted.

Thanks to Kurt, Rachel knew the dangers of AIDS and how gay men had the highest risk when it came to STDs. But few people did, even when the disease was becoming more widespread as time went on. “Blaine, I already know you didnt mean to put yourself -- or Kurt -- in any danger. Youre just uneducated and didnt realize --”

“Thanks for trying but you dont need to patronize me. Kurt was right, I am stupid. I should have known better,” Blaine interrupted.

“But I doubt you had much chance to learn, at least not from anyone you knew, like your parents. Information about safe sex is hard to find as it is, and for gay men, its nearly impossible,” Rachel countered.

“Im sure if I had looked hard enough I would have found it though. So its my fault for not trying at all,” Blaine argued.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Were getting away from the big issue here, Blaine,” she pointed out.

That was true and Blaine nodded in agreement. “Okay yeah. This is about Kurt and I's... predicament. But theres not much else to tell. Kurt asked me to get tested, which I agreed to. But when Kurt asked me to leave I got defensive and we broke into a big argument before I got too pissed off and stormed out of the apartment,” Blaine finished.

“I take it Kurt hasnt approached you since?” Rachel asked, proving she still knew brother well enough to anticipate his actions.

“We ran into each other at work last night but he made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me. Not until the test results come back and those could take up to three weeks. I still dont understand why hes so bent on acting like nothing's happened!” Blaine grumbled. But then he remembered Adam and Blaines anger started to dissipate once more. “Fuck! What the hell am I saying? Kurts already had an AIDS scare and actually lost a boyfriend to the disease,” Blaine muttered as guilt washed over him.

“Adam had already contracted AIDS when he and Kurt started dating though, so there was no scare,” Rachel explained.

Blaine blinked at her. “Oh,” he said softly.

Now it was Rachels turn to let out a tired sigh, “Look, Blaine, I know its not my place to tell you Kurts story. But I think we both know he wont voluntarily tell it himself and if youre so upset that you came all this way to talk to me about it, then its clear you need to know, for both of your sakes. So Ill tell you, though I have half a mind to confront Kurt afterwards. But then, hes probably got enough to deal with right now,” Rachel rambled, more to herself than to the young man at her side.

“Lack of information is what got the both of us into this mess. So if youre willing to tell me anything Id be much obliged,” Blaine said with a weak smile.

Rachel took a seat and urged Blaine to do the same. Once seated, Rachel was left with the daunting task of telling Kurts tragic life story. Considering Blaines delicate state of mind, Rachel chose to give the abridged version. “Kurt and Adam met a little over three years ago and they hit it off right away… until Adam suddenly gave Kurt the brush off and went so far as to avoid him outright. But when Kurt has his mind set on something, or, in this case someone, hes not one to back down easily. It took him two weeks but Kurt managed to track Adam down to get some answer, which Adam finally gave but they were nothing Kurt could have anticipated. Adam had learned hed contracted AIDS, which had no cure, and if he and Kurt were to be intimate, Kurt would risk becoming infected himself. You think that would have marked the end of their potential relationship but Kurts really stubborn and Adam was equally smitten with Kurt. So they decided to be together anyway and they got to be, for one year, Ive never seen Kurt so happy before. Up until that point, he had never been in a relationship before. They got serious really quickly and then suddenly Adam got sick... and he never got better. Kurt stayed by his side until the end,” Rachel explained.

Tears streamed down Blaines face, full of so much empathy he could barely hold himself together. He took a deep breath, his lips quivering under the emotional strain, “Wow... I had no idea... Kurt, he... he always acts so strong...” Blaine said softly.

“I know, but sometimes I think Kurt is too strong for his own good. He doesnt like to depend on anyone. After Adam died he tried to push my dads and I away but we wouldnt let him. But he still kept his emotions hidden and went through the grieving process mostly on his own,” Rachel said.

Just when Blaine was starting to see the reality of their situation, he looked over at Rachel to see her eyes darting back and forth as she fidgeted nervously in her seat. “What?” he asked warily.

“Thats not all of it...” Rachel admitted reluctantly.

Blaines eyes widened. “Theres more?” he asked in surprise.

Rachel nodded. “Not about Adam but its something you should know. This wasnt the first time Kurt has lost someone close to him. His parents are both dead; his mother died in a car crash when he was seven and his dad died from a heart attack when Kurt was sixteen,” she told Blaine.

The queasy feeling in Blaine's stomach came back but there was nothing left to upheave, fortunately. But that didnt mean Blaine was reacting well to the information; his heart felt like it was aching from remorse. Since hed met Rachel, she had never described Kurt as her adoptive brother so Blaine had thought they were stepsiblings. Before that, Blaine had simply assumed Kurts wealth had come from rich doting parents, which was something Blaine didnt have. “I didnt know...” he breathed.

“Very few people do, at least where his parents are concerned. Kurt purposely keeps his personal life very guarded....” Rachel began. “Which is why he hasnt fully opened up to my family, though I know he loves us.”

“But Kurt has lost everyone who was close to him ... so he thinks if he keeps enough distance it will keep them safe... and him in turn,” Blaine finished for her.

Rachel smiled lightly at Blaine. That was exactly what she had planned to say. “Yes exactly, though I dont agree with that choice. But, like I said, Kurt is stubborn,” she said.

Blaine also agreed with Rachel, since he thrived on social interactions. “After hearing all this... is it horrible for me to still think that Kurt handled the situation badly?” he asked Rachel.

“No,” Rachel answered without hesitation. She stopped to hug Blaine in reassurance, and he hugged her back graciously. “I wasnt there but I know you didnt mean to put him at risk,” she added softly.

Blaine let out a long sigh of relief. Yes, Kurt had his reasons but in this case ignoring the problem wouldnt do him any good. Kurt had asked for space but learning his backstory wouldnt make Blaines decision any easier. “Thanks for telling me all this Rachel,” he said.

Rachel smiled warmly at Blaine. “You like him, dont you?” she asked.

Blaine wouldnt have thought hed be able to blush under the circumstances but it was possible, it seemed. “I ... I think so. Only... all this mess has gotten in the way of me knowing for sure,” Blaine admitted.

“I bet he feels the same way, Blaine,” Rachel announced.

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Womans intuition?” he teased.

While Blaines act was quite convincing, Rachel got the feeling he was simply putting on a brave face. “Is there anything I can do to help you, Blaine?” she offered.

Blaine thought about it for a moment, only to shake his head. “No, thank you but... I need some time alone to think things through, so I should probably go,” he replied. Rachel stepped back to allow Blaine to leave but then as he made his way to the door he got a sudden thought. “Wait, is there anything else I should know?”

“Actually, yes. The second year anniversary of Adams death is in two days. So I would advise you to tread lightly around Kurt... at least until then,” Rachel said.

Sometimes, even Blaine found it hard to know wrong from right. He wanted to talk to Kurt, even if he would be far from amused when he learned what Blaine now knew. Whether there was something between them or not, Blaine didnt want Kurt thinking he had to go this alone. “Alright. Thanks. I guess I have some serious thinking to do. Wish me luck,” Blaine said as he gave Rachel a weak smile before he left the room.

Rachel watched him go. Blaine might be willing to give Kurt the space he thought he needed, but she knew sometimes the only way she could get a response from Kurt was to go the invasive route. But this time, she chose to wait and see if the need would arise and she hoped her normally independent brother would come to his senses on his own for once. Because Blaine could be just the person to turn his life around for the better.