School was so much harder than Blaine expected.

            His classes were amazing. College was everything he had ever imagined it was and he found himself flourishing. There was a group of about ten students who met for the recovery group and they were extremely welcoming, happily accepting him.

            But these damn papers.

            A small coffee shop outside of campus was where he usually worked on his homework. It had small collections of mismatched sofas and armchairs and made delicious coffee.

            He was in his usual spot, curled up on a patchwork sofa in the corner of the shop, frowning at his laptop as he tried to work on his essay. With a frown, he glared at his books but for the life of him he couldn’t figure what else to add to his paper to make it meet the length requirement.

            “Medium drip for Blaine!” The barista called out, making Blaine’s head snap up in confusion.

            Kurt was standing at the counter, giving him a little smile, and raised the coffee cup. Grinning, Blaine jumped up and walked over.

            “You know my coffee order?” He teased.

            “Of course,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “And you might even convince me to share this cookie. Sorry, didn’t mean to distract you from studying.”

            “It’s fine, you’re far more interesting than the history of composition,” Blaine grinned over his shoulder as they walked back to his corner. “So, what brings you here? It’s really out of your way isn’t it?”

            “Yeah but I wanted to talk to you,” Kurt looked at his feet and Blaine could see his ears burning pink.

            “About what?”

            “Let’s go out to dinner,” He blurted out.

            “We go out to eat like three times a week,” Blaine frowned a little in confusion.

            “I mean…I want to take you on like…a date…” Kurt blushed further.

            “A date?” Blaine’s eyes widened. “Kurt…”

            “Okay let me explain,” Kurt held his hands up. “I know that our last attempt at a relationship didn’t work. I know we wanted to remain friends and I respect that but hear me out. This time I’m not instantly crushing on you. I’m not blinded by the fancy Dalton blazer or your show of being Mr. Big Man on Campus and my own personal Superman. I think I finally see the real you and I really, really, really like you.”

            “Oh.”

            “I like this person. I really like this person,” He continued to stare at his feet. “But if you want to stay friends I’m okay with that. I want to be your friend Blaine, I don’t want to lose you.”

            “Okay.”

            “Okay?” Kurt blinked at him.

            “Okay, let’s go on a date,” Blaine blushed slightly. “Let’s give this a try.”

            “Alright!” Kurt grinned, feeling so much lighter. “So tonight? I know this amazing little bistro we can go to.”

            “I’d love to,” Blaine smile and ran a hand through his hair. “But…I have a recovery meeting tonight. I can let you know when I get out or…”

            “Or?”

            “Or you can come with me?” Then Blaine blushed again. “But that’s not much fun so I can just call you. That’ll be better.”

            “I’d like to come,” Kurt gently took his hand. “I went to a few meetings when you first went into rehab. I wouldn’t mind coming if you wanted me to.”

            “Why do you want to come?”

            “If we’re going to be in a relationship…and that’s if we want to…I want to support you through everything. I want to find out how best to help you and see what you have to struggle with,” He squeezed Blaine’s hand lightly. “I want to be there for you.”

            “It’s tonight in the Student Health Center at six. We can go to dinner after,” Kurt thought he saw a flash of tears in his eyes. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

            “Me too,” Kurt grinned. “So, want half of my snickerdoodle?”

            “Sounds dirty,” Blaine winked.

            “Oh honey, we haven’t even had our first date,” Kurt teased back, leaning back into the cushions.  

            “Just one date? What kind of boy do you think I am?” Blaine grinned and took half a cookie. “I’m a classy guy.”

            “Oh, the classiest!”

            That night Blaine looked through his closet, glaring at his clothes. Nothing he owned looked right, nothing looked like he was going on a date. After a few days trying to look nice he had surrendered to wearing a sweatshirt and jeans to every class.

            Finally, he pulled out a pair of dark skinny jeans and a lavender button up. After fidgeting with the cuffs on his sleeves he hurried downstairs to see Kurt waiting in the lobby.

            “You look amazing,” Blaine blurted.

            He did. Kurt was wearing an off the shoulder bright red sweater and white jeans with black boots. He smiled shyly at Blaine and the two boys stood apart, staring at each other.

            “So…wanna head out?” Blaine motioned to the door. “I’m not too far away.”

            “Sure,” Kurt shrugged.

            They started waking down the sidewalk, not looking at each other as they went. After a few moments of silence Blaine took a deep breath and reached over to intertwine their fingers together.

            Kurt jumped and looked down at their hands before smiling softly.

            “So, what should I expect?”

            “I think tonight is open discussion night. We have a topic we need to talk about with the group. Last time it was letting go,” Blaine smiled. “They’re usually a little cheesy like that.”

            “I’ve been looking forward to this,” Kurt announced as they entered the building and Blaine led him up to the room.

            “We’ll see how you feel about me after this,” Blaine smiled slightly.

            “I need to learn to like every part of you, good and bad,” Kurt squeezed his hand. “Let’s go in.”

            They stepped into the room, the members waving at Blaine and looking curiously at Kurt. With a shrug and a smile Blaine motioned to the circle of chairs, sitting in one.

            “Alright guys!” A smiling man covered in tattoos waved his hands to get everyone’s attention. “We have a topic of the day, HALTS.”

            “What’s HALTS?” Kurt muttered to Blaine.

            “It’s something you learn in rehab. It means don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, tired or serious,” Blaine whispered back.

            “Who wants to start?”

            A slim dark haired girl raised her hand and smiled around the circle. They sat quietly, listening to the group talk for a while before most of the group had spoken.

            “Blaine? Care to talk?” The leader turned to him, smile in place.

            “Oh no I’m okay,” He waved his hand and shrugged.

            “You sure?”

            “It’s okay,” Kurt whispered next to him, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

            “Okay,” Blaine took a deep breath in and pulled his hand away, crossing his arms over his chest. “I have a problem with…with being lonely.”

            Kurt frowned and bit his lip, suddenly regretting asking him to talk.

            “I used to think that if I were alone it was because no one wanted to be near me. I thought no one liked me and it led me to do some dangerous things. Through rehab and a lot of therapy I’ve learned to reach out,” A small smile tugged at his mouth. “That other people can help me and that it was okay to ask for help.”

            “Support is everything,” The girl who spoke first said with a smile.

            “You’re not kidding,” Blaine laughed.

            The group finished off with the last boy speaking before everyone was dismissed. Blaine gave Kurt a small smile before they walked out of the room and to the restaurant.

            “Sorry if I pressured you to speak,” Kurt said softly.

            “It’s fine,” Blaine shrugged. “I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

            “I didn’t,” He sighed. “I want to hear what you have to say, good or bad. I care about you.”

            Blaine ducked his head but reached over to hold his hand as they walked into the restaurant. The host sat them in a nice table before bringing out a basket of bread.

            “So I’m curious,” Blaine said as he took a bite of bread. “Why now? Why ask me out now?”

            “Want me to be honest?” Kurt asked with a small smile.

            “Of course.”

            “I didn’t know how I felt about you. Blaine I thought I loved you more than anything but I learned that I didn’t really know who the true you was. Then you came back and I got to know you again…Blaine I really like you, this you. I mean…”

            “Who I am now?”

            “Exactly! I saw how amazing you are and how far you’ve come and I just…I really want to get to know the real you,” He felt almost shy as he finished.

            “Well, I’m really glad you asked me out,” Blaine gave him a tiny smile.

            “Me too.”

            Dinner was amazing and the conversation flowed easily. They found themselves laughing most of the time and both boys couldn’t stop smiling.

            They couldn’t stop smiling the entire walk to Blaine’s dorm.

            “I really had a great time Kurt,” Blaine said as he stood at the door to his room. “I kind of didn’t want it to end.”

            “Me neither,” Kurt looked down at his feet. “Can…is it okay if I kiss you?”

            “Yes,” Blaine said far too quickly and they both laughed. After a brief pause Blaine leaned forward and pressed their lips together for just a moment before pulling back.

            “Maybe we can try that again?” Kurt asked a little breathlessly, smiling.

            “Kurt…” Blaine sighed. “We need to take this slow. I need to take this slow. I want to go on a second date with you, if you want to?”

            “Yes,” Kurt blurted out and they both grinned.

            “So, I’ll call you later and we’ll pick a day. I’ll pick the place this time,” He smiled and unlocked his door. “Goodnight Kurt.”

            “Night Blaine,” Kurt gave him a smile and waited until the door closed before walking back home, a small skip in his step.

            He gave Rachel a wide grin when he walked into the apartment and was instantly bombarded with questions. He managed to shrug most of them off, ignoring her disappointment and changed before laying down in bed.

            He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

            As soon as the door closed Blaine leaned against it, closing his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to invite Kurt in, to go back to the same level of intimacy they were before.

            He could picture it.

            Kurt would come in. They would blush and shy away from each other for a few minutes before kissing sweetly. Then they would strip each other of their clothes and fall into bed. All night would be spent making love until they were no longer able to.

            But Blaine could still feel the hands of all those men on him.

            He took in a deep, shaky breath and pushed himself off the door. Tears welled in his eyes as he changed into pajamas and fell into bed.

            Kurt’s kiss had felt amazing. His heart had swelled and his head swam even from the short time their lips had met. But the longer he kissed and the more he thought about doing more the more panicked he got.

            He knew that Kurt didn’t expect him to put out. He knew Kurt would never pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to do. He knew Kurt would never hurt him.

            But those other men expected it. Those other men pressured him. Those other men hurt him. 

            “Fuck,” He moaned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “Maybe I’m more messed up than I thought.”

            He took several deep breaths and pulled his blankets over himself. He was getting past this. He was working through it.

            You don’t just work through getting raped.

            He shuddered and closed his eyes tighter.

            Kurt doesn’t know. He wouldn’t stay.

            “He might,” He whispered out loud.

            Kurt had to know. He couldn’t keep secrets any more. This relationship deserved more than lies and deceit.

            His phone buzzed with a incoming text and he grabbed it, looking at the glowing screen.

            From Kurt: Thank you for agreeing to come out with me. Looking forward to our next date :)

            A small smile tugged at his lips.

            To Kurt: I had a lot of fun! Our next date is going to be better ;) 

            He would tell Kurt what happened. He owed him that much and he was going to do everything he could to make the relationship work. What Kurt did was up to him, Blaine could only do so much.

            Finally, he fell into an exhausted sleep.