Blaine sat on his bed and stared at the pins in his hands. They were barely bigger than a silver dollar and were a bright gold color, shining in the dull light of his bedside table lamp.

            <i> One Month Drug Free

            Two Months Drug Free </i>

            It had been eighty-eight days since he first stepped foot into Sunrise Rehabilitation and the idea of being out in the real world was terrifying.

            In his time there he had experienced some of the highest and lowest parts in his life. He had discovered parts of himself that he never knew existed and had accepted parts of himself that he had previously hated.

            In reality the pins were cheap little metal circles. They had the words written in cheesy cursive and a small figure had their hands raised up in triumph.

            They meant everything to him.

            In two days he would get his third pin and nothing meant more to him than continuing to get these pins for the rest of his life. A small smile lit up his face and he squeezed his hands around the cold metal before glancing over at the clock.

            <i>12:07 AM </i>

            He was officially in his last day at rehab.

            A shaky breath exploded out of him and Blaine collapsed back onto the pillows. In one day he would go back and everything would be the same. The same pressure, the same triggers, the same people.

            But he was different.

            Blaine was sick of the person he was. He was so tired of being stepped on. He was tired of being taken advantage of. He was tired of being what everyone wanted him to be.

            The cool metal pins in his fists reminded him that he was a different person. He was a different person and he was going to live life the way he wanted.

            With a soft smile, Blaine leaned over to the beautifully painted wooden box (a goodbye gift from Clyde before he went home) and placed the two pins carefully inside. He stared at them for a moment longer before shutting the lip, turning off the light, and going to sleep.

            “Good morning residents!” Tabitha’s cheerful voice woke him up and he found himself smiling. “I’m thirty minutes we will be going on our nature walk. After we will have a breakfast of pancakes, fruit, and bacon.”

            He pushed himself out of bed and took his time getting ready.  As soon as he was all bundled up he walked out to the living area where the rest of the residents were waiting.

            “Last day!” Arianna, a twenty four year old who had been in the program for a little over a month.

            “Last day!” He sang back, grinning.

            “Blainey my friend,” She sighed, looping her arm through his. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss your adorable happy little face. I’ll miss you singing show tunes. I’ll miss your mop of crazy hair.”

            “I’m not dying,” He laughed as they stepped out into the cool February air. “And we’ll stay in touch. Once you’re out you can call and email me all you want.”

            When Arianna had first gotten to Sunrise she had been quiet and reserved, unwilling to even look at other people. She had gotten with the wrong crowd in high school and while she was in rehab for the first time met a boyfriend who got her right back into drugs as soon as they left. Sunrise was her third attempt at rehab and it seemed like it would stick this time. Blaine and her had instantly connected and become fast friends.

            “I’m just happy for you,” She smiled up at him, rubbing his arm. “Is your brother coming to pick you up tomorrow?”

            “As far as I know,” Blaine nodded, chest tightening.

            He missed his brother fiercely. As the months went by he found that the thing he was most looking forward to was seeing Cooper again. The issues he had with his brother didn’t seem to be that important anymore.

            The walk was finished with lots of happy talking and they quickly ate breakfast before going on about their daily schedule.

            “Happy last day Blaine,” Mark grinned at him as he stepped into the office. “Are you nervous?”

            “Extremely,” Blaine laughed and smoothed his hands over his pants.

            “Why nervous?”

            “I don’t know,” He gave the therapist a shaky smile. “Right now, I don’t want to do…anything. I feel like I have a goal in mind and a future to look forward to. I want to live for me. I don’t want my life to be about anyone else.”

            “That’s good!” Mark smiled encouragingly.

            “But, I know how hard it will be and I’m scared that I wont have the support I had here. I’m scared I’ll be alone again.”

            “But remember what we talked about?”

            “That I’m not really alone,” Blaine smiled down at his hands. “I do have people who love me and I need to take care of myself first and foremost.”

            “You’ve really come so far Blaine. You went through a truly horrible time and you have become so much better,” Mark leaned forward. “You are not the same person you were when you got here. You are a smart young man with a bright future.”

            “I’m not messing this up,” Blaine shook his head sharply. “No matter what.”

            By the end of the appointment Blaine was very nearly in tears and hugged Mark tightly. He could feel himself trembling slightly as he finished up his last day.

            “Do you need any help packing up?” Tabitha asked as his fingers ran lightly over the piano keys.

            “No,” He shrugged. “I’m just going to shove my clothes in the duffle bag. Thank you though.”

            She gave him a small smile and rubbed his back slightly.

            “I’ll be giving you a few phone calls and you are more than welcome to come to our out patient clinic. We have weekly meetings with the alumni and it can be great until you go off to school.”

            “I’d love to come,” With a small smile she got up and walked to another resident. The warmth of the recreation room with its large, leather couches and chairs sunk into his bones, making him relax.

            He didn’t want to leave.

            Lights out came far too quickly and with a few quick goodbye hugs Blaine went back to his room, staring at the packed duffle bag in the corner. He finally fell asleep, stomach in knots.

            “Blaine?” Tabitha’s gentle voice woke him slowly and he blinked awake. “Wake up.”

            “Time is it?” Blaine mumbled, rubbing at his face.

            “It’s just after six,” She leaned back, smiling. “Your brother is here.”

            Blaine sat up quickly, heart pounding. As Tabitha grabbed his bag and led him out to the entrance hall he could hardly breathe.

            “Blaine,” Hearing his brother’s voice instantly brought tears to his eyes. He hardly saw Cooper’s relieved face before he flung himself at him.

            “I missed you,” Blaine choked out around sobs, grabbing tightly at his brother.

            “God I missed you too,” Cooper’s voice was tight with tears. He pulled back grinning at his younger brother, tears flashing in his eyes. “You look amazing.”

            “I feel amazing,” He laughed softly and was pulled into another tight hug.

            “Okay,” Cooper took another step back, wiping at his eyes and smiling brightly. “Well I’ve got your room all set up and I’ve got a lot of food and stuff. I have like thirty movies and tv shows for tonight and I didn’t know what kind of ice cream or cake you wanted so I got about four of each and…”

            “I’m sure it’ll be great Coop,” He nudged his brother slightly and Cooper grabbed his bag. “So…are we good to go?”

            “Yup, all your paperwork has been filled out,” Tabitha nodded, hugging Blaine one more time. “I will call you this weekend and I will see you at a meeting soon right?”

            “Absolutely,” He grinned and gave one more wave before climbing into Cooper’s car.

            “I have McDonalds breakfast which I grabbed one of everything but if you want something else?” Cooper bit his lip, looking uncertain.

            “Cooper!” Blaine laughed. “Seriously, I’m fine.”

            “I’m just…I’m trying,” Cooper shrugged.

            “I know and I appreciate it,” Blaine smiled softly at him. “Now hand me a sausage biscuit and hashbrowns. Let’s get home.”

            “I really am glad you’re back,” Cooper pulled out of the center’s parking lot, starting down the deserted road. “I missed you so much B.”

            “I missed you too,” Blaine gave him a little smile. “I am very curious about the evening you have planned.”

            “Oh you’re going to be so excited! So, I ordered an NYU blanket as a surprise for you and they accidentally sent me eleven. I thought we could construct an epic blanket fort and eat the massive amount of junk food while watching a bunch of stupid movies,” Cooper’s smile was infectious.

            “Are we wearing our pajamas all day as well?”

            “Our matching NYU pajamas,” Cooper nodded. “I’ve been pretty bored lately and I think I may have a slight addiction to online shop…oh. Oh Blaine I’m so sorry.”

            “For what?” Blaine frowned at how pale his brother went.

            “For…using…the a word?”

            “Addiction? Cooper, it’s fine,” Blaine laughed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t want you walking on eggshells around me. Just…treat me like normal. I’ll let you know if you say something but I can take care of myself.”

            “Sure,” Cooper nodded, smile still in place.

            The rest of the ride was spent with Blaine telling Cooper all about the clinic and everyone he met. A bright smile stayed on his face the entire time and soon they were pulling up to their house.

            “So are you wanting to start with a Friends or a How I Met Your Mother marathon?” Cooper carried Blaine’s bag into the house.

            “I’m thinking NPH,” Blaine mumbled as he stepped into the living room.

            He was instantly brought back to shaking and whimpering on the couch. He remembered slipping out of the door, trembling and aching for a hit. He remembered limping back into the house, in extreme pain but hardly able to feel it from the poison pumping through his veins.

            “Alright then, take a seat,” Cooper hovered slightly until Blaine grabbed a thick blanket and settled on the floor near the couch. The brothers quickly moved the cushions around until they were set into a comfortable pile.

            “Choose from sour gummy worms, peach-os, or frosted animal crackers to start,” Cooper held up a few packages.

            “Gummy worms,” He caught the bag as it was tossed to him.

            After a few hours they both finally found themselves relaxing. Pizza was ordered and they moved on to a James Bond marathon.

            “Do you know what step nine of the twelve step program is?” Blaine spoke up suddenly, startling his brother.

            “Um…was it making amends?” At Blaine’s surprised expression he smile sheepishly. “I really researched this stuff.”

            “Oh…well…um yes that’s the step,” He ducked his head slightly. “I want to make amends with you.”

            “There’s nothing to forgive Blaine,” Cooper gave him a small smile.

            “No, there is,” He shifted so he was fully facing Cooper. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for worrying you and hurting you. I said and did some horrible, horrible things. I’m sorry for stealing from you, I will pay you back by the way, and I’m sorry for making you leave your entire life behind.”

            “And I told you that I’m not upset.”

            “I know you’re not,” Blaine gave him a small smile, feeling tears well up in his eyes. “But I still need to apologize. I hurt you and I am so, so sorry.”

            “Come here,” Cooper pulled him into a hug. “I forgive you Blaine.”

            “The things I said to you keep swirling around in my head,” His body heaved with a sob. “I said you were like those boys who hurt me and you’re not. Cooper I’m so sorry.”

            “You were in a lot of pain,” Cooper rubbed his back. “You weren’t yourself.”

            “You’ve been there for me and I just want us to go back to where we were,” Blaine wiped his eyes and sat back.

            “I don’t,” Cooper gave him a small smile. “I don’t want to be absent from your life anymore. You’re my little brother and I want to be more involved. So, let’s both try harder to get closer.  I love you Blaine and I’m here for you.”

            “I love you too,” Blaine smiled tearfully. “I am going to pay you back.”

            “Not a chance,” Cooper shook his head.

            “It’s going to happen.”

            “Then you’re going to get random deliveries of NYU rubber ducks and teddy bears,” Cooper shrugged.

            “Really?” Blaine raised his eyebrows.

            “Don’t try me Blaine,” Cooper gave him a smirk and Blaine rolled his eyes.

            “So…when do I go back to school?” Blaine asked softly after another long pause. “I mean I’m all caught up on school work and I’m testing well.”

            “You don’t have to go back. You can take the GED and be done with it if you want,” Cooper tied two gummy worms together and ate them.

            “I want to go back. I’m not running away from anything anymore,” He said, determined.

            “Alright, I’ll call the school. We might be able to get you back next week,” Cooper smiled and ruffled Blaine’s hair slightly.