“I wasn’t saying you were,” Blaine replied calmly..

“I’m sorry, just… everyone assumes that I am. They torment me everyday”

Blaine winced at that. He knew the feeling, he had lived it.

“Because you look gay?” he asked carefully, trying not to offend the other boy.

“Because I’m different.” Kurt bit out. Blaine gave him a considering look.

“Different. The way you dress? Your voice? They assume you’re gay and that makes you different?” It was just his luck that the most beautiful boy he’d ever met was straight. Of course. Well, nothing he could do about it. Literally.

“Well,” he started. “I’m not gay, not really. I like boys,” what?! “ but…I don’t,” he stopped himself for a second to catch his mind up with his words, “I’m asexual. I like boys but I am asexual. Always have been, always will be and they don’t like that.” Blaine smiled, maybe even laughed. However Kurt didn’t find his confession nearly as humorous,

“Oh great so now you’re laughing at me too, I gotta go-” he started to leave.

“Kurt no, I’m laughing because, well I’m the same.” Blaine responded.

“You’re gay?” Kurt said, laughing at the irony. Of course, the first gay guy he’d ever met was cute as hell and he’d never be able to have him.

“Yes, I’m gay.” Blaine responded,

“I’m also asexual.”

Oh.

After that day they were inseparable. Wherever Kurt went, Blaine followed and vice versa. Blaine helped Kurt through his first “real” kiss with a homophobic closet case from his school by distracting him with cheesecake and musicals. Kurt comforted Blaine when his dad decided to take an “extended business trip” the week of the Warblers’ first in-school performance of the semester (the one he’d been working on since September when he was appointed lead soloist). They were the very definition of give and take, honesty, friendship.

They never fought once in those first few weeks, it almost seemed as though they shared a brain. The only secret they had kept from each other was that of their mutual affections. Everything was quite literally show tunes and cupcakes. That is, until a certain Warblers performance changed the entire dynamic of their friendship.

“Are you okay? You were making some pretty weird faces during that performance,”

“Those weren’t weird faces those were my sexy faces” Kurt replied blankly.

“You just kind of looked like you were in pain.” Blaine replied, scrunching up his face in sympathy. It could be hard to try to look and feel sexy when sex is literally the last thing on your mind.

“Great.” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes in frustration. “We’re supposed to be all ‘sexed up’ for the judges and I can’t be sexy to save my life,” he huffed in frustration.

“We’ll figure something out.”

And so now Kurt was trying out “sexy” faces in front of his mirror. Beside his crush who was pulling them off perfectly. Great.

“Kurt they’re all kind of looking the same here,” Blaine commented, smiling at how cute his best friend was when was he trying too hard.

“That’s because I don’t know the first thing about sex!” Kurt blurted, eyes widening.

“What do you mean?”

“Listen Blaine, I don’t know how you do it, but I am asexual. I don’t think about sex, I don’t watch “those” movies, I don’t even masturbate!” he stopped himself at that trying to backtrack.

“Okay what I mean is I obviously know nothing about sex so how am I supposed to project sexy to these judges when every face I make is just this uncomfortable parody of what I’m trying to do?” he could feel tears of frustration building up. He sighed angrily and sat down on his bed.

“Listen Kurt, I’m the same, in all of those areas. My brother is the one who taught me how to be ‘sexy’. ‘For the ladies’ he’d say. So I had a mentor, maybe I could be yours.” Kurt gave him an inquisitive look. “Your mentor, I mean” he corrected quickly.

“I don’t know…” Kurt started, shifting uncomfortably.

“Just give it a chance.” He said with a wink, getting ready to begin, “I think the best way to act is from the inside out. You have to become sexy, to act it. You have to feel sexy, right? I know it’s harder for us but it’s definitely possible.” Kurt nodded, mentally taking note.

“I guess we should start with the physical. What do you want to know about sex?” Kurt’s eyes popped out of his head,

“Nothing! I want to know absolutely nothing. Oh my god Blaine!” he admonished, sitting up from his bed and stalking out of the room. Blaine followed after.

“I’m just saying that if you know more about it then-” he paused looking a Kurt in disbelief, “Kurt! Take your fingers out of your ears!” he said as he reached the other boy, gently taking his hands. Kurt didn’t find the gesture to be quite as nice though, well aside from the initial ohmygod he is holding my hands part at least.

“No. I think we’ve talked quite enough about this topic. I think you should leave.”

“Kurt-” Blaine began.

“Leave, Blaine.”

Shaking his head in disappointment, Blaine sighed in defeat and walked out the door, leaving a rattled Kurt to wonder what the fuck he had just done.