Blaine stood outside Kurt’s front door, his hand frozen halfway between himself and the doorbell. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to press the button.

            “No,” he whispered, and dropped his hand to his side. God, Blaine, get a hold of yourself. It’s just a movie. It’s just a movie. He stuck his hand out again and reached for the bell. He paused halfway before extending his arm suddenly and pressing the button. This is it, he thought as he heard rustling inside.

            “Coming,” Kurt said, his voice muffled. Moments later the door opened, and Kurt stood in front of him. Blaine gaped. Kurt was wearing skin tight dark wash jeans with a tight green cardigan layered over an even tighter white v-neck. He looked hot. Blaine exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, hoping Kurt didn’t notice his reaction.

            “Hi,” Blaine said, his voice a little breathy.

            “Hi, come on in. I ordered pizza for us and have a few movies picked out for you to choose from. My room is this way.” Blaine’s heart thudded in his chest as he comprehended Kurt’s words. They were going to his room. He didn’t know if he was excited or nervous. He was excited to spend time with Kurt, but nervous because he wasn’t sure what to expect here. He liked Kurt, but he wasn’t sure if Kurt liked him to. And even if he did, Blaine wasn’t out yet. To anybody. Did Kurt even know he was gay? And besides, he didn’t know anything about relationships.

He was full on panicking by the time they stepped into Kurt’s bedroom. He had the pizza set out as well as some glasses and several drink options. There were several DVD’s laid out for him to choose. He nearly fell over when he noticed that there was only one piece of furniture in Kurt’s room, and that was his bed. Were they both going to be sitting on the bed? Together? Was that allowed? Kurt sat on the bed and gestured for Blaine to join him.

“Okay, so I grabbed The Sound of Music, Moulin Rouge, and Rent. Which do you want to watch?” he asked. Blaine didn’t really know what any of that meant, but he’d heard of Rent before so he chose that one. He sat tensely on the bed as Kurt loaded up the movie, watching as he made his way back. He slid into the spot next to Blaine and picked up the remote. As the movie started, Kurt scooted down and situated himself.

“Blaine,” he said, “you can relax. Lean back, get comfortable. I don’t bite, I promise.”

Blaine forced a chuckle at this and leaned back. He stretched out his legs and rested his back on Kurt’s pillows. The bed wasn’t very big and the boys’ knees ended up touching, as did their arms. Blaine felt himself growing warmer with embarrassment as he watched the apartment owners burn their eviction notices on the screen. He wondered if Kurt noticed the contact and if he was enjoying it as much as he was. Maybe Kurt thought he was doing it on purpose. He didn’t want to scoot away, though, because he thought that would seem rude. Perhaps he was just overreacting—again. Blaine distracted himself with the pizza and handed a slice to Kurt. He set the box at the end of the bed for easy access and leaned back again to watch the movie, still touching Kurt.

Eventually Blaine’s mind became absorbed by the movie. It was about gay people. Gay people and sex. Blaine hoped Kurt wouldn’t think that he picked this movie in order to… suggest anything. He really had no idea this is what it was about. Oh god, he though, Kurt’s going to think I’m a freak. Blaine watched the screen intently, not daring to look at Kurt. If he hadn’t been so tense he probably would enjoy the movie more. He actually kind of liked the music, though. It added something to the movie, where he’d always thought singing would take away. He was glad the lights were off when they sang “La Vie Boheme” because blushed deeply through the entire thing. They were so, so, blatant with their sexualities. They were grabbing each other and singing about sex and Blaine was embarrassed. He was less embarrassed, though, when Kurt giggled next to him. Kurt seemed to be enjoying the song and not thinking about what it was saying; he was just enjoying the music. Perhaps he didn’t have the same things on his mind as Blaine did. He decided to relax and enjoy the movie.

He wasn’t expecting to like musicals that much, but he actually found himself laughing and crying and feeling for these characters once he’d gotten over the initial shock of the subject matter. Kurt sang along with some of the songs, and Blaine got wrapped up in the sound. It was angelic—the most beautiful sound Blaine had ever heard. He wanted to look at Kurt, at the beautiful boy making the beautiful sounds, but he didn’t want him to stop. He sat staring at the screen, but not hearing a word they were saying. He didn’t think it was possible for him to like this boy even more, but he did. He was so distracted by the sound he couldn’t even cry when Angel died, or at the end when they nearly lost Mimi. He probably should have—Kurt did—but how could he cry when his heart was beating so fast? When Kurt’s angelic voice made him feel so happy?

Kurt stopped the movie when the credits started to roll and turned to Blaine.

“Sorry I’m such a mess. This movie always gets to me.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was a really sad ending.”

“You didn’t cry,” Kurt argued.

“You have a beautiful voice.”

Blaine froze. Did he just say that out loud? Oh god, that was forward. He blushed furiously. He blushed so hard, in fact, his glasses started to fog up. He took them off quickly and hung his head. He mumbled an apology and scooted off the bed, ready to bolt. Before he did he chanced a look at Kurt. He didn’t look angry. He looked really happy. Thrilled, even.

“Th-thank you.” It was Kurt’s turn to blush. “Anyway,” he coughed, “what did you think of the movie?”

“I really liked it. It was a sad ending, yes, but I thought it was funny. I liked the songs. The plot wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, but…” he let the sentence trail away.

“Yeah, it’s a little, um, sexy, I guess. I like the idea of it though, a bunch of gay people who are actually accepted, y’know? That stuff would never happen here. This musical is one of the reasons I decided I want to go to New York after high school. Well, it got me thinking about it anyway.” Blaine let the statement hang in the air as he thought it over. He wanted to go where he would be accepted.

“Kurt, can I ask you a question?” Blaine said quietly.

“Yeah, of course.”

“When you, um, when you came out, like, to your dad, was he, um, I mean…” Blaine sputtered. He didn’t know how to ask the question, and he didn’t know if it was a touchy subject.

“My dad was very understanding. He actually told me he’d known for a long time, since I was about three. I was so scared when I told him. I just spit it out one day after he had come to tell me goodnight. But he is really accepting. I’m really lucky.” Blaine started at the fact that Kurt hadn’t, in fact, made a big production of it, but somehow it gave him comfort. Kurt had been nervous to tell his dad, and that turned out alright. Kurt hadn’t always been as confident as he is now. Maybe someday Blaine would get to where Kurt was.

“Blaine, um, can I ask you a question?” It was Kurt’s turn to be nervous. Blaine looked at him and nodded, knowing what was coming next. “Blaine, are you… are you gay?” Blaine felt his heart pound, felt the blood pump through his veins. He could hardly hear his reply over the sound of blood rushing by his ears. He felt himself start to tremble.

“Y-yes,” Blaine said. He felt the tears fill up his eyes. Oh god, I’m freaking out. Get a hold of yourself. But it was too late. “I, Kurt, I haven’t, I mean, nobody, I… Kurt, please.” Blaine didn’t know what he was asking for. Understanding? Encouragement? He didn’t know. He felt the tears fall down his face and felt the sobs threatening to escape his body. Kurt was up and by his side in seconds. He wrapped his hands firmly around Blaine and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Blaine. I’m here. You’re okay.” He kept whispering into Blaine’s ear as he sobbed. Blaine was beyond speaking at this point, but he willed the tears to disappear. He didn’t want Kurt to see him like this, but he was comforted by his embrace.

After what felt like forever, Blaine calmed down. He pulled away from Kurt and wiped his eyes, apologizing.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s okay. Come here,” Kurt said as he pulled Blaine back onto the bed. Blaine laid down next to him, feeling Kurt wrap his arms around his body once again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I, um, yes. It’s just I’ve, I’ve never told anyone that before. I don’t know how my parents will react. They’re a little, um, homophobic, and I don’t know if they’ll be mad or not.” Blaine felt small tears still rolling down his cheeks as he spoke. “I want them to accept me. They might, I suppose, my parents love me, I know they do. But I don’t know if this will change that or if it will change their beliefs. I’m too scared to find out.”

He felt Kurt nod against his head but he didn’t say anything, and Blaine was glad. He’d been fighting with himself for a long time and didn’t know if anything Kurt said would actually help. He just wanted to talk about it. He already felt so relieved now that somebody knew.

“I know, Blaine,” Kurt said eventually, “I understand. I was there once, too. If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you, okay?”

Blaine nodded and wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist. He started crying again, but this time out of relief. Blaine had never felt more grateful in his entire life. He had somebody who understood, somebody who wouldn’t push him—somebody who knew.