~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Blaine's hand couldn't stop trembling as he finished writing the last words on the letter:

Dear Cooper, Sam, or whoever finds this letter,

I know you guys will say this won't solve anything. But I just can't handle it anymore. You guys are supposed to be my friends. What the fuck?! Ever since the break-up you guys have been treating me like shit. You're supposed to be helping me, not calling me a "slut", "whore", or a "cheater". Maybe you guys were never my friends, just Kurt's and ever since he left to New York, you wanted nothing to do with me. I did it because I felt like he moved on without me. He stopped answering my phone calls, my texts, he missed several Skype dates; and whenever we did talk and stuff, it was always about New York. I tried staying supportive. I really did like hearing about how's life up there. But I feel like we never had time to talk about me. I know it kind of sounds conceited, but he still doesn't know that I'm the school president! I just felt like he didn't love me anymore and moved on. I didn't even messed around with Eli; right after one kiss, I knew Kurt was the one. But he never gave me the chance to explain. I tried for so long, but he made no communication at all. & Cooper, you might think you were the "golden brother", trying to help. But saying you didn't help, is a complete understatement. You brought your friends over from L.A. and talked about how great your life was, getting all of those acting jobs. You asked if I was okay, once. ONCE! It always has to revolve around you, doesn't it?

Truth be told, I just don't feel like there's a reason left to live.

Good-bye everyone

-Blaine Anderson

There were tear stains all over the letter, but Blaine didn't care, he just folded it and laid it on the table next to the gun. Blaine's breath was shaking and he wasn't trying to pretend he wasn't crying anymore. He grabbed the gun and put it to his temple. But for some reason, he decided to put it over his heart.

He murmured, "I have and will always love you, Kurt. You'll always be in my heart."

He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. But a few seconds before he did someone had opened the door and he had missed his heart by a few inches.

"Hey Blaine, it's about a week and half until Christmas and I thought-" Cooper started but stopped when he saw Blaine on the floor clutching a gun. Cooper's hand flew to his mouth; he leaned against the door, and slowly slid to the ground. He quickly called 911 and they had Blaine taken to the hospital. Cooper saw the letter and read it. If the fact of seeing your own brother die right in front of your eyes didn't hurt him enough, then reading the letter definitely sent him over the edge.

He called Sam and told him what happened. He told him to call the rest of the Glee club and Kurt.

Cooper rushed to the hospital, hoping it wasn't too late.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"WHAT?!" Kurt screamed into the phone. He left to his car as fast as a lightning bolt, ignoring the questions from Carole, Burt, and Finn. All he could hear was the repeat of Sam's words, "Blaine just committed suicide." It didn't take long before Finn got the message too. He rushed out to the car with Kurt and they both rushed to the hospital, not caring that they were way over the speed limit.

~*~*~*~*~*

Soon enough all of the Glee club, including the old members (they were visiting Ohio for the holidays) were in the hospital waiting to see Blaine.

The doctor finally came out and said, "By the looks of that boy, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that he missed his heart when he shot the gun; I predict it was your entering that startled him, causing him to miss. He will be fine. He might need to get into surgery; we're not sure how damaged it is yet. But he's going to be fine."

Everyone gave a relieved sigh. Brittany spoke up and said, "So Blainers is going to be fine?" Santana nodded to her.

"The bad news is," the doctor continued, "we suspect he might have a slight amnesia problem."

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted.

"He has been diagnosed with depression. We had a specialist look at him, and he said that his mind wanted to forget. That his mind wanted to forget the pain. Maybe some of you can refresh his mind. He does remember most things, but there is no guarantee that he remembers every single detail," the doctor finished, "Only family can see him right now."

Everyone shout what again. Puck came up to the guy and said, "Listen here; he has been our friend for more than 2 years. We know him more than anybody, we are his family. And if you don't let us in you're gonna need to see a doctor yourself."

He didn't bat an eye at Puck's threat. "You can see him. But not because you threatened me, but because I can see how much you care. Now go, before the nurses see you."

Kurt was the first one to make it in the room, behind him, everyone was following. "Blaine?" Kurt asked through a chocked, hoarse voice. But he was still asleep. Kurt looked at his almost lifeless body. He broke into sobs at how Blaine looked. He was super pale, paler than Kurt, with dark circles around his eyes, messy tangled curls, dried tears, and some dried blood on his bandaged hands.

Rachel was the next to come. She comforted Kurt, knowing how hurt he was.

Sam, Cooper, and Tina were next; then Puck, Finn, Brittany, and Santana. One by one, the others came. They all had the same tear stained, sad, miserable look plastered on their faces.

"Why?" Kurt sobbed, "Just why?"

The Glee club had guilty looks on their faces. Cooper handed him the letter.

"Oh my god, it's all my fault," Kurt cried. He passed the letter to Mercedes, who passed it to Quinn and so on.

"We never knew it was this serious," Artie stated.

"Neither did I," Kurt said in a monotonic, hoarse voice.

"It's all of our fault," Marley said trying to make Kurt feel better.

"No, it's mine. Mostly. If I had just answered a damn phone call, he wouldn't be here. It should have been me," Kurt exclaimed slamming his hand on the table next to Blaine's bed.

"Kurt," Rachel said firmly, "Don't say that. If Blaine was gone, he wouldn't want to be like this. You heard the doctor say so himself; Blaine's going to be fine. They even got a specialist in!"

"But if I'd just answered-" Kurt started again.

"No, stop blaming yourself," Rachel interrupted.

"Guys!" Sam sort of whispered-shouted, "Blaine's waking up!"

Everyone grew quiet as Blaine's eyes fluttered open.

"Brittany? Sam? Tina? Where am I?" Blaine said confused.

Everyone gave a sigh of relief and Kurt hugged his neck. "Don't scare us like that ever again."

"I promise," Blaine said gently, "But who are you?"

Kurt's heart broke; he felt like his whole world had tumbled down, "Y-you don't remember me?"

Blaine shook his head, still confused.

"Do you remember any of us here?" Sam spoke up.

"Of course, how could I forget you guys?" Blaine perked; he turned to Sam and whispered, "But who's he?"

Kurt's heart broke even more, if that was even possible.

Sam coughed and replied, "That's Kurt, Kurt Hummel. Are you sure you don't remember him?"

Blaine searched his mind for any relation to a certain "Kurt Hummel". He did remember that "Kurt" was the reason why he was here. He instantly glared at Kurt. "Who do you think you are?" he asked sharply.

"W-what?" Kurt stuttered with tears threatening to fall.

"What's wrong Blaine?" Sam asked.

"I can't remember every detail, but all I remember is that he's the reason why I'm here," Blaine said to him, but it was loud enough for Kurt to hear.

Kurt sobbed; he knew it was true. It's official, he's the reason for Blaine's suicide, or so he thought.

"Umm, Blaine," Sam didn't know how to respond, "I'm sure that's not all you remember, is it?" He nodded. "Oh..Umm..wow. Uhh... do you want coffee or something?"

"Yeah, thank you. Can you also get him away from me?" Blaine requested.

Sam nodded. He looked at Kurt and he nodded too. Most of the Glee club had somewhere to go, so they left with Sam and Kurt too. Only Brittany and Tina stayed with him in the room.

Blaine looked at them and saw their tear stained faces. He frowned. "Hey, why are you guys so sad? I'm alright," he perked.

"How can you be so happy when you almost died?" Tina asked, barely audible.

"Because, I'm still here. I'm happy to be alive," Blaine said with happiness.

Tina sniffled and hugged Blaine's neck. She whispered into his neck, "Don't ever be stupid like that again."

He chuckled and said, "I promise."

"I'm sorry," she apologized wiping her tears.

"For what?" Blaine asked genuinely confused.

"For not being there for you. For calling you names. For being the biggest bitch-" Tina explained.

"Hush, it's not your fault. Although I still can't remember why I did it. All I know is that "Kurt" guy is the reason why I almost died," he said in a comforting voice which turned into anger.

Tina was going to explain the real reason, when she remembered what the doctor told her. "Don't tell him directly, or he might get flashbacks, or maybe even get a heart attack from all of the stress. Just give him hints, refresh his mind. He must remember on his own."

"I'm sure that's not true," Tina tried.

"Well, I don't know but whenever I hear his name, I think of my almost-death for some reason. He must be the reason," he replied.

"But-" she started but was stop by someone. "Sebastian?"

'Sebastian?' Blaine thought, 'Oh, my boyfriend, right?'

"Hey killer," Sebastian greeted Blaine, "I got the news, are you okay?"

"Of course I am babe," Blaine responded with a loving smile.

Everyone had a confused look. "What? I didn't know he was a dolphin..." Brittany asked.

"Well, isn't he my boyfriend?" Blaine asked slightly confused.

"No-" Tina started but was cut off by Sebastian.

"Yes, I am. You didn't forget about me, did you?" Sebastian said kissing his forehead.

Blaine smiled, "Of course not."

Tina pretended to gag. Blaine gave her a questioning look while Sebastian glared at her. She just shook her head and turned to Brittany, "C'mon let's go find Sam and Kurt." But she also hissed at Sebastian, "Stay away from him or else you'll regret it."

"Okay. Bye Blainers!" she said waving to them as Tina pulled her out the room.

Sebastian had a smug look on his face. He turned to Blaine and seductively said, "Now we're alone. Wanna have some fun?"

"Wha'dya had in mind?" Blaine asked with a knowing look.

Sebastian lied next to Blaine and whispered into his ear, "You look so sexy without any clothes on."

"But I'm wearing a hospital gown," Blaine said with a slight giggle as Sebastian nibbled at his earlobe.

"Let's fix that, shall we?" Sebastian stripped Blaine of his gown only to find that he was wearing boxers under. He decided to keep them on, for now.

Sebastian kissed Blaine with force. The kiss was full of lust and no love. Blaine didn't seem to notice though, what he did notice was Sebastian's tongue licking every square inch of his mouth. His mouth made its way down to his neck, where a hickey started to form. "Seb.." Blaine moaned.

They were too caught up in their make-out session to notice a silhouette at the doorway.

~*~*~

Kurt had no idea if he was more hurt or angry. 'No one gets to kiss my Blaine except me.' Then he remembered Blaine wasn't his anymore, he was too late. His- Blaine belonged to someone else. He let the tears that he don't know were there flow down his face as he ran to his car. He ignored the shouts from Sam, Brittany, and Tina. He just needed to be alone; hell he needed alcohol.

~*~*~

Kurt flinched a little at the sound of the vase breaking. He just couldn't keep in any longer. He has kept his feelings in for too long and it has come out in one of the worst ways, anger. The floor of his bedroom was covered with shattered glass. There were words of hate sprawled across his walls in sharpie. And his fabulous wardrobe was scattered everywhere. He sighed and began to clean up a little. He stopped when he came across an old photo of him and Blaine as Warbler's.

Blaine was kissing Kurt's cheek while he rolled his eyes, although there was a grin spread on his face. It was the day of the carnival; Mercedes had taken the picture, teasing them with it. Eventually, Kurt had the photo printed and kept it by his bedside. It had always been one of his favourite photos, as it was the same for Blaine. Until now. It brought back painful memories of how Blaine was once his. Now he "belongs" to Sebastian. SEBASTIAN! The queen of sluts! 'He doesn't deserve Blaine! Hell..I don't deserve him.' He leaned against the wall, brought his arm up to cover his eyes, and started sobbing. 'Fuck.... This is a fucking mess!'

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!" Kurt couldn't help it as his hand made its way to another vase. He took uneven breathes. There was no way to fix this. Nothing. He had lost Blaine, forever. All the anger had flown out of him and came flowing through him was depression. "I love you, B-Blaine," he said in a whisper as if it was too fragile to say anymore. His eyes flicked around the room, looking, begging for a distraction. The blue glasz eyes stopped at the sight of a little blue stuff dog; under it was a scrapbook? Kurt swallowed a lump in his throat and opened up the book. It was made when they met; from the performance of "Teenage Dream" (which Kurt still refuses that he was the one to snap it) all the way to when Blaine came on his early visit to New York with a bouquet of flowers. He stopped when he came across an olden looking photo. It was the one Blaine had specially made for their half year anniversary. It was in black and white, and he had burned the edges a bit. It gave it the perfect touch. The tears started flowing again, he thought he had cried out of tears, but they just kept on coming like a broken faucet. He took one last glance at the picture and realized exactly what he needed to do if Blaine was going to be his again.

"Whatever it takes. Whatever," Kurt whispered and frantically ran out the door.