Kurt [08-06-23 9:18]: How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Blaine [08-06-23 9:19]: Good morning to you too!

Kurt [08-06-23 9:19]: Come on now, this one’s from my dad.

Blaine [08-06-23 9:21]: Okay, okay. I don’t know, Kurt. How DO you get four old ladies to shout Fuck?

Kurt [08-06-23 9:22]: Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

Blaine [08-06-23 9:24]: Haha! And it’s true! We had BINGO at our station for a few years in Findley. Those old broads…foul. FOUL I tell you!

Kurt [08-06-23 9:25]: I went a few times with my grandma. She always swore everyone else was cheating.

Blaine [08-06-23 9:27]: How do you cheat at a game of luck?

Kurt [08-06-23 9:29]: I’ll never know.

Blaine [08-06-23 9:31]: Okay, this one’s from Adrian and then we have to go. He has a play date and he’s about to pee himself that I’m not moving fast enough DAD!

Kurt [08-06-23 9:32]: Hit me. I need to get cracking on these spec sets anyway…

Blaine [08-06-23 9:33]:How do you organize a space party?

Kurt [08-06-23 9:33]: I have no idea…

Blaine [08-06-23 9:35]: You planet.

Kurt [08-06-23 9:36]: Boooo, Adrian. Boooo!!!

Blaine [08-06-23 9:37]: He’s quite proud of himself. Have a good day!

Kurt [08-06-23 9:38]: You too. BINGO!

Blaine [08-06-23 9:39]: FUCK!

***

If the word catastrophe had yet to be defined, Blaine decided, this would be it.

Bath Township had a multi-unit fire, something had gone down with their chain of command and they were short. They called a third alarm and Lima City was in line to assist. For such a large fire, Blaine was on-call. Period. The only way out of it was if he had been out of town or on vacation. Sundays were not a day off with multi-units or multi-alarm fires and this was both.

So, he’d started making his calls for child care. The neighbor lady who said any evening, any weekend, Blaine; I’m yours and had proven herself numerous times, wasn’t this time. The daycare teacher who said if it’s an emergency, give me a call was headed to a funeral. The play date family had already taken off for their afternoon errands. The two wives at the station who helped with crew members’ kids were unavailable.

He tried the Findley brigade next. His mom was feeling unwell, which was probably a load of bull, but he didn’t have time or energy to go into it and Maggie’s folks were heading up some campaign for her church and couldn’t help even though they apologized profusely. The very, very, very back-up sitters in Findley were all otherwise occupied, especially on such short notice.

He could think of only one other person to call. And it was the person he promised he’d never, ever, ever, at any time, ever, ever, ever call for babysitting duties.

But, this was a catastrophe after all, and while he stood there trying to pull other options out of the depths of his ass, and while Adrian sat in his office obliviously drawing…something, the fire continued to roll and there was no chief or incident commander anywhere.

Cat-as-tro-phe. “I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life.”

“What?” Adrian missed nothing. Unless it was a reminder to brush his teeth.

“Nothing. I, um…what do you think about Kurt?”

“He's nice. He kissed you at the parade yesterday.”

Blaine closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course he saw that. “Yes. Yes he did. If he’s available would you be willing to play with him today?”

“Yep.”

If he’s willing. If he doesn’t destroy me with that glare of his that could blast holes through cement walls. If he doesn’t pack up and never again say I’m still here. This? Is a catastrophe.

Blaine dialed the number anyway.

“Yeah, hello?”

“Kurt?”

“Blaine?”

“Yeah, hi. I know I’m not supposed to call and I know you’re working and I probably just interrupted and I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important and desperate and a complete fucking…”

“DAD!”

“Sorry, dude. A complete freaking catastrophe, but I need…I swore I’d never do this, and I meant it, but there’s a…shit…are you on call today?”

“Woah. Breathe. Are you asking…am I on call?”

“Yes.”

“No. Something big going on?”

“A multi-unit in Bath. And I don’t even have time to go into it all and I swore I’d never call you for this ever, ever and…I’m completely and totally out of options and I have to get there in negative time.”

Kurt sighed and was silent. It was really loud. And had to last at least 25 minutes. In Blaine Catastrophe Time. “You need someone to watch Adrian.”

“I do. And I’m sorry. And if it wasn’t my last resort…do you know how many calls I’ve made to avoid this?”

More silence. Long silence. God damn, silence was LOUD. “Where is he?”

“Um. Right here. At the station.”

“Can I bring him back here? I really am busy…and will he occupy himself with…something?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes. He has his bag of stuff and Lt. Parker is here and will give you the security code to get into my house if you want to go get more stuff…which is probably a good idea and…take him anywhere.” Blaine was on the move, out of his office, and downstairs, out of breath at relief, at leftover anxiety, at shifting gears from Dad to Chief to…head honcho of Kurt’s shoot-to-kill list. “He’s…sort of used to adapting wherever he is.”

“I need half an hour – can he stay with Lt. Parker for a bit?”

“Yes. He just can’t for long in case we get another call. Which…” Blaine suited up and grabbed the keys to his department SUV, planning to meet the crew there. “…will probably happen because that’s how shit goes down.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Thank you. You have no ide-…”

“Just…go.”

“Right. Thank you.”

Kurt disconnected and Blaine knew there was going to be one hell of a conversation when this was all over with. With no more time to spare he whistled for Adrian to come to the garage.

“Kurt will be here in 30 minutes. That’s like one episode of Franklin, okay?”

“Okay. Be safe, Daddy.”

“I will. You behave with him…”

Adrian rolled his eyes and waved. “I know.”

He knows. He does. He’s a good kid. He’s spent the last year and a half of his life being shifted around from caregiver to caregiver and he was fine. Every time.

“Kurt is going to kill me.”

***

“I’m going to kill him.”

Kurt tossed his phone on his table, ignoring the flying tissue when it landed. He was busy. He was nowhere near ready to deal with this child – darling or not – one on one. He didn’t have the time, the fortitude or frankly the desire to do it either. This is exactly why he did not date men with children. He was not a babysitter and polite or not, respectful of his wishes or not, it always happened.

“God. Dammit.”

But, here he was, gathering his work into semi-neat piles so he could bring this kid back to his place, figure out some way to engage him in an activity so he could get at least one, preferably two more spec kits completed. He had to go to New York later in the week. He had to get this shit done.

“He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.”

It was a multi-unit fire; Blaine was going to be gone for hours. That meant he had to feed the child. Get him ready for bed maybe? Entertain. He had to entertain a freaking five year old little boy, whom he knew nothing about. For hours.

“I’m still waiting, he says with a god damned lollipop in his hand. A rainbow lollipop. Jesus.”

And before day’s end, Kurt Hummel was going to know more about Adrian Anderson than he knew about any other kid on the planet. Whether he wanted to or not.

“Yep. I’m going to kill him.”

***

“So then…the monster comes in! He’s got his claws out and his teeth are sharp and he’s roaring. ROARING! And somehow…somehow, Kurt!” Adrian took a breath, his first in at least 10 paragraphs of monologue, and looked over to his driver with great patience. “Are you listening Kurt?”

“I am! I am! I’m also trying to figure out why the traffic has stopped.” Kurt looked over at his charge for the afternoon and smiled, his nerves, his anger slowly melting away at this child’s enthusiasm in every single breath he takes. “So, the monster is roaring and baring his teeth…then what?”

“THEN! Oh my goodness. Then, he starts taking people out. BUT! Only the bad guys! How does he know, Kurt? How.does.he.KNOW?”

“I don’t know how he knows…do you?”

“NO! But he knows. He looks at one guy and you can see. It’s so cool! You can see his…his…skin? Scales? Stuff…you can see it, like, soften? And his eyes go all nice and he lets him go. And he lets a lady go and then he sees one of the bad guys and BAM. Takes him out!”

“Takes him out, how? Ah, now we’re moving…”

“He has like these huge spiky mallet things on his hands. They only show up when he swings his arms? And WHAM.”

“Ouch.”

“Yes. Ouch.” Adrian took a breath and sat back against his seat, exhausted from his story. “I want a monster.”

“You want a monster? You have people you need to take out?”

“No. Well. Hrm. Not really. There was a kid who lived near me at my old house that was kind of mean. But, I just got a grown up when he’d…say stuff.”

“That’s a good idea. So why do you want a monster?”

“It would be fun to scare him. And only I would know that the monster was really nice…only mean to the mean people.”

“Sounds like…have you seen Monsters, Inc?”

“YES! Like Sully!”

“Just like Sully. He was a good monster.”

“I want a good monster.” Adrian thought for a moment and Kurt enjoyed the split second of silence. “But…they’re not real.”

“No, but you know what we could do today when I’m done with work?”

“What?” The car stopped and Adrian looked up and around. “Is this your house? It’s…there’s a bunch of garages.”

“It’s an apartment? I live in this one and other people live in the other ones.”

“Oh. My friend Toby lives in a ‘partment.”

“Help me carry your things in, okay?”

“You have-ta help me out of my seat first.”

“Oh. Sure.” Kurt got out and made his way around to the passenger side of the car. “Sorry, buddy. I’m, um…you’re my first.”

“Your first what?” Adrian pointed at the hook he needed help with and smiled when Kurt unsnapped it without a problem.

“Kid…thing. I’ve never…I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’ve never spent much time with kids.”

“Oh my goodness. Well. I’ll be good. I promise.”

“I know you will. But, if I seem like I don’t know what I’m doing…it’s because I don’t.”

“That’s okay. I’m only 5. I never know what I’m doing.”

Kurt laughed and took Adrian’s hand, helping him hop out of the car. “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”

They gathered all of Adrian’s belongings, collected from his house after much negotiation and reminders that we’re only going to be at my house a few hours, not a few days and headed inside.

“Oooh, your house is pretty, Kurt.”

“Thank you. Go ahead and put all but your drawing stuff there on the couch and we’ll get a snack and go upstairs.”

“You said we could do something today after you worked? What can we do?”

“OH! Well, when I’m working, I want you to draw the monster you want. Or a bunch of monsters and we can pick one. Then, we can make him.”

“Make him? How?”

“With fabric and stuffing – like a doll. A toy.”

Adrian gasped. “You can do that!?”

“I can. Well, with your help. Does that sound like a good idea?”

“Oh my goodness! Yes! I want to make a hundred monsters!”

“Let’s start with one, huh?”

“Oh. Yes. One is good. Whatcha got for snacks? I’m hungry.”

“Not much. Fruit, mostly.”

“Peaches?”

“Yes. Peaches.”

“Peaches that smell peachy are the peachiest. Daddy says that every time we go to the store now.”

Yes, Kurt thought, he was definitely going to kill Blaine. Or kiss. Really, at the moment, he wasn’t sure of the difference.

***

Kurt was finally settled at his sewing machine and Adrian was diligently working on his monster designs, although it had taken some doing to get there. The questions. This child could ask questions about things that weren’t even curious.

“Why isn’t there a wall here?” when asking about his office space which was a loft over the kitchen, looking down into the living room. And even better, “Do you ever throw things off of here?” The answer was no and neither will you, much to Adrian’s chagrin.

Also, “Are these the flowers from Daddy?” which was followed by, “Is he your boyfriend?” To which Kurt answered, What would you think about that? If your dad was my boyfriend?

Adrian’s answer was quick, without thought. “I think that’d be pretty okay.” And then he followed with, “Dad said they all mean something special…what do they mean?” and instead of going through the meanings of eight different flowers – yes, Blaine had sent eight so far – he just said it means your dad seems to think I’m pretty spectacular.

“I don’t know what that word means, but I do know my dad usually isn’t wrong.”

And then there was, “Why does your desk slant like that? Doesn’t all your stuff fall off?” But, when Kurt told him his drafting table was to help him draw better, Adrian decided it was the best desk design ever on the planet of EVER and he had to use it to design his monsters.

So that’s where he was now, drawing away, narrating now and then, seemingly content with Kurt’s properly timed uh huh’s and I bet’s and that’s pretty cool’s.

The best part? Kurt was getting shit done. He only had to hem pants to complete one spec kit and cut out the second and that wouldn’t take him long. He could work a pair of scissors and a pile of fabric like it was his job. Which, conveniently enough, it was.

This kid business? Not so bad.

“Okay, Kurt. Can you look at my pi’ture?”

Kurt lifted a finger to garner a moment while finishing his final seam, clipping threads and pulling the pants out of the machine. With a snap, he lifted them to check his overall work. “What do you think, Adrian? Do they look like a pair of pants?”

“They’re a funny color.”

Kurt tilted his head at the coral cotton and agreed. “Not my choice either, but I don’t make those decisions.” He neatly folded them and took Adrian’s paper, covered in monsters, buildings, various vehicles – it was like an action movie had barfed in colored pencils and markers all over the page. “Tell me about this…there’s a lot going on here!”

“I know!” And Adrian spun his story in great detail, crawling up on Kurt’s lap to share an equal view, never missing a breath even when he let out a huge belch and an excuse me which only made Kurt laugh and Adrian glare because he was clearly no longer paying attention. By the time his tale was over, Kurt was winded and amazed and decidedly infatuated with this child.

“Can you pick, after all of that great art work, just one of these monsters for us to make? Do you have a favorite one?”

“I think. I like this guy with the four arms.”

“Okay. I want you to get a new sheet and draw just him. Like…here…” Kurt pulled up some of the original illustrations he works with at the beginning of a collection. “Like this. Just the monster, nothing else. And make him big so we can get all the details. Color him in, too. In fact…” He patted Adrian’s thighs and lifted himself up, catching him as he slid off his lap. “…let me show you something.”

Kurt disappeared into a dark corner of the studio and came back, dragging an enormous wooden container. “If you need ideas on colors, look in here first.” He lifted the lid and Adrian’s eyes grew three times their normal size.

“It’s like a treasure chest of fabric!!”

“It is! You can use anything in here, so long as it’s big enough for what we need. And in a little bit, I’ll have more scraps because I’m cutting something out, okay?”

“Oh my goodness!” Adrian started digging into the box, mumbling to himself, plotting and planning, accepting and rejecting and Kurt couldn’t resist squatting down to help out. There was something oddly thrilling about sifting through fabrics, the colors, the textures and for Kurt, the flashes of memory of when he used them. “This is awesome, Kurt!”

“You’re awesome.”

“I know.”

Kurt went back to work and Adrian sifted and drew and stopped to dig some more and stuck the closed end of a marker in his mouth to think and create. He’d toss more fabric around and Kurt was almost done cutting, and damn if these two weren’t a team. When Kurt had snipped his final piece, he dumped his scraps into the box and Adrian looked to see if it was usable, his eyes shifting to the wall just behind Kurt.

“Kurt…is that…” He hopped off of his stool and stepped over the pile of fabrics that had accumulated on the floor and pointed to a small picture on the wall. “I have that in my bedroom, Kurt! How do you have it too?”

Kurt spun and looked and his heart skipped a beat. He swallowed and took the picture down, scooping Adrian up to sit on the overstuffed chair that filled the corner of his otherwise office-looking studio. “Does your picture have these funny words on it, too?”

Adrian looked at the drawing and then the words. “No. I can read some of the words on mine, but I don’t know these words.”

The picture was the famous cover of The Little Prince and the quote below was in the original French. In fact, this picture was largely why he’d chosen to take French in high school – so he could read the book as it was written and understand it as it was meant to be understood. “Mine was a gift a long time ago…” Kurt took a breath and lifted Adrian’s chin to look at him and not the picture. “…when my mom died.”

Adrian gasped and looked back at the picture and then at Kurt again, smiling sadly. “Your mom died too!?”

Kurt nodded and combed his fingers through Adrian’s hair, the mood in the room having completely shifted from fantastical monsters to blistering reality. “I was eight. And a friend of hers thought these words might help me not feel so sad.”

“What does yours say?”

“Well, it’s in a different language…”

“Say them anyway.”

“It says, Quand tu regarderas le ciel, la nuit, puisque j'habiterai dans l'une d'elles, puisque je rirai dans l'une d'elles, alors ce sera pour toi comme si riaient toutes les étoiles.”

“That’s so pretty…mine’s just normal words. What does it mean?”

“It means that she will be living in one of the stars and laughing. And when I look at the stars, all the stars will laugh. And…” Kurt read over the last portion to himself, trying to remember the exact quote.

“Mine ends with You, only you, will have stars that can laugh. I ‘member that part because Daddy reads it to me every night before we turn out the lights.”

“Yes. So, they say the same thing, don’t they?”

“Yes. Oh my goodness. So, Kurt?”

“Adrian?”

“I think maybe you and me should be friends.”

“I think we already are.”

Adrian smiled and leaned into Kurt’s arm. “Read it to me again. The French words are pretty.”

“Quand tu regarderas le ciel, la nuit, puisque j'habiterai dans l'une d'elles, puisque je rirai dans l'une d'elles, alors ce sera pour toi comme si riaient toutes les étoiles.”