Dear Friend,

Have you ever had a really, really good dream but don't remember most of it? Just little bits that don't make sense?

I had a dream about Kurt last night. We were singing. I don’t remember the last time I sang with someone. It was probably Cooper but not in a long time.

There were people and leather furniture and books and tiny pin pricks of light.

We sang a sad song but we were really happy about it.

I think there was a bird that flew away because it was free. I don't know why that's important but it is.

I wish I knew what any of it meant. All I know is that I was happy but I was sad at the same time. Like I was missing something I never even had.

Dr. Pillsbury, my new therapist, said I should try to focus my thoughts on what was happening in the present instead of thinking about the past and the things I could have done differently.

She says this when I’m having a bad day and thinking about my life in my old school. I don’t miss my old life, but I do miss Trent.

Trent was the closest thing I had to a best friend. The day he shot himself I cried myself to sleep, and then did the same thing again the following night, and then the night after that.

Last night I woke up crying and I think I woke up my dad because there was a light outside my door.

Dad didn’t come in to my room though. He never does.

Love Always,

Blaine

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August 25

Dear Friend,

I’m writing you two letters today because something wonderful happened after I ended my last letter.

Santana called and told me that she and Kurt and a bunch of friends were hanging out at the Lima Bean and that I should get my ass over there.

I still didn’t appreciate being ordered around by Santana, but I couldn’t deny that I wanted to spend time with her and Kurt.

When I got to the Lima Bean, Santana and Kurt were at one of the back booths with a couple of other kids I’ve seen at school. They were all laughing and talking and I was afraid of intruding that I almost walked back out, but Kurt saw me and waved me over.

I sat next to him and felt a little bit light headed with how close we were in the cramped booth.

“Blaine,” Santana said. “This is Sam, Tina and Sugar.” She pointed in turn to a blonde boy, a dark haired girl and a strawberry blonde girl with highlights. “Guys, this here’s Blaine. Our newest and littlest friend over here tried to take on Karofsky.”

Karofsky was the name of the jock who pushed me. I guess they didn’t like him very much because Sugar gave me a big grin and Sam toasted me with his glass.

“My older brother taught me how to box,” I told them with a shrug. “I wasn’t trying to be brave, I just wanted to defend myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that right away?” Santana asked with a cackle. “I would have loved to see Karofsky beaten up by our munchkin.”

I smiled quietly when they all laughed. The truth is I don’t like being teased about my height. I don’t mind as much when it’s Santana though because I know she doesn’t do it to be mean. Kurt said Santana has a problem with showing affection and it’s her way of showing people that she likes them. I think he’s right because the twinkly gleam in Santana’s eyes when she teases one of us is completely different from the glare she gave Karofsky.

There was more the Karofsky story but no one wanted to talk about it. They talked a lot about different things instead. They talked so much that I learned a lot about them just by listening.

I learned that Kurt had lost both his parents and that he lives with his stepmother and his stepbrother but spends most of his time at Santana’s.

I learned that Santana’s parents were separated. She lives with her dad in Lima but he’s never around since most of his clients are in the city. He’s a plastic surgeon.

I learned that Sam’s a year older even though he’s in my grade. He had to stop school because his parents lost their jobs. He had considered stripping but Kurt had convinced him to get a job at his dad’s old tire shop instead.

I learned that Sugar’s a year younger even though she’s also in my grade. She was allowed to skip a grade in middle school because her dad donated a large amount of money to the school. She says that she asked her dad to let her skip a grade because she was tired of studying but I think she’s actually really smart and got bored of the teachers. I’ve seen some of the books she carries around even though no one else seems to notice.

I learned that Tina’s a year above mine. She used to be really quiet in middle school but she’d been friends with Santana for too long and the sarcasm had started rubbing off on her. I didn’t learn a lot about Tina because she preferred listening more than talking, but I think I like her the most.

Before we left Sugar grabbed my phone and dialed in her number. She also took a picture of herself to add to my contacts. She then proceeded to do the same thing to the others until I had all their numbers.

I got into my car feeling all warm inside.

That was the wonderful thing that happened to me today. I made friends.

Love Always,

Blaine