Kurt doesn’t get it at first. He’s thumbing through his facebook app, vaguely wondering if it’s too soon to change his relationship status. He reasons carefully, and regrettably, that if Caleb isn’t ready to publically come out, it’s probably not best for Kurt to change it. He’s antsy though and is absolutely dying for the day to finally come so he can push his budding romance into all of the homophobes’ faces. Caleb is gorgeous and would so totally make the jocks’ jaws drop. He knows it already.

“Should we go talk to him?” Tina hisses.

It’s then that he notices the absolute silence in the room. Mr. Schuester is gone, somehow removed without Kurt noticing, and Tina and Rachel seem to be having a weird silent standoff in the middle of the room. He glances around quickly; Quinn’s staring at him with a peculiar expression and Santana’s outright glaring at him.

He makes a face at her and turns to the front of the room, noticing suddenly that Blaine Anderson is nowhere to be seen. Rachel and Tina look more panicked and concerned, and Kurt’s afraid that he missed some great gossip while he’d been obsessing over Caleb. Blaine’s song choice had been oddly sulky and morbid; maybe he had finally gotten the courage to tell them a sob-worthy story about his childhood.

“Can someone first tell me what happened?” Finn asks uncertainly. Rachel spins on her heels and glares at him with such ferocity that Finn cowers. Soon enough, her laser gaze is focused on Kurt. He rolls his eyes and huffs out a breath, glaring at her just as evenly.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that, Rachel? I’ve just been sitting here minding my own business.” She shakes her head at him, looking incredibly disappointed. Feeling slightly cowed, Kurt can’t stop the feeling that he missed something absolutely jaw-dropping. He turns to Mercedes, but is struck when even she is watching him with sad eyes. “What on earth is going on? All of you, stop looking at me like that.”

Tina snorts softly, a faint smile rising on her face, “You really didn’t know did you?”

“Know what?”

Santana begins to laugh, “That’s a really good one, Lady Lips. That entire song was devoted to you.”

“It was not,” Kurt laughs, looking from Mercedes to Rachel, “What are you all on? Did you take something? Should I get the nurse?”

Quinn explodes, “He’s in love with you, Kurt. In. Love. How did you miss that?”

“Are you kidding me? He’s not.” Kurt nearly chokes with laughter, getting to his feet, “Okay, I’m definitely getting the nurse now. Maybe I’m the one hallucinating or I got a concussion from practice.”

“Sit down,” Quinn orders sharply, taking him by the arm and pushing him back into his seat. She’s eyeing him with something remarkably close to displeasure, “You’re not hallucinating. Blaine Anderson just serenaded you. How on earth did you miss that boy’s crush?”

Kurt sputters, “He is not! I know exactly—“

“Here’s the thing, you really don’t have one clue,” Santana interrupts, “Tinkerbelle has been pining after you for so long I thought he was going to grow into his big boy pants before he admitted anything to you. He treats you like a king and you never even look at him. That boy just broke down sobbing because he finally came to the realization that nothing can come of what he’s feeling, no matter what he does or tries to be,” She pauses clearly caught up in something in her own head and glances fleetingly at Brittany, before finishing with a softer touch, her eyes surprisingly wet, “He’s in love with you, Kurt. He just embarrassed himself in front of us so that you could see how much you mean to him.”

She sinks back into herself, seeming to wilt and takes the hand Brittany offers, linking their pinkies. Kurt is still staring at her open-mouthed, clearly at a loss for what to say, let alone what he should think. Tina takes pity on him and takes his hand in hers, running gentle fingers over Kurt’s knuckles, “I know that you’ve liked Caleb for a long time, but at least acknowledge him or something. He’s heartbroken, Kurt. He needs the closure and he really, really needs to know that you’re not an asshole.”

Kurt mutely nods, and listens numbly as the other glee club members talk in harsh whispers. He wants to think that what they’re saying is untrue, but he’d be lying to himself if that were the case. He had been ‘friends’ with Blaine, even if he thought he was annoying, and had actually noticed (thank you very much) Blaine’s penchant to fawn over Kurt or drop everything to help him. He’d noticed the way that Blaine watched him, and the way that he stuttered in his presence. He thought Blaine was shy and looked up to him. He had ignored it. (OH MY GOD I would love for Kurt to see Blaine getting bullied for the “first time” because he was too self-absorbed and boy-crazy to notice before)

He had never thought that it could run deeper.

He had never wanted to think that it could run deeper.

And now he’s stuck. He has never had feelings for Blaine—other than a vague ‘oh, he’s cute’ when they first met—and he couldn’t imagine trying anything with him. He’s been obsessed with Caleb for as long as he can remember—well, once he got over that vicious crush on Finn—and hasn’t looked back. He did feel bad for Blaine; he knew how horribly unrequited love felt.

But it didn’t mean that he wanted to kiss Blaine, or take him out on a date.

He already has one incredibly hot gay boy ready to kiss him and smile at him and take him out. Kurt’s been pining over Caleb for so long it almost hurts to think that he’s so close to getting him. He just wanted a chance with him. He’s musing over this even as the club falls silent. He can feel Rachel watching him with narrowed eyes, plotting something. With his luck, she already thinks he’s madly, deeply in love with Blaine and is picking out their china patterns.

Kurt glances down at his vibrating phone, deliberating if he should answer or not. It doesn’t take more than a scan around the room to see that every last one of them thinks that he’s the villain in this situation. Puck’s stare is intimidating, and Mike and Tina have perfected the disappointed Asian parent look. Kurt doesn’t think that any of them have the right to judge him. He hadn’t known, and hadn’t done anything on purpose.

He can’t really picture himself with Blaine. He’s never really been all that attracted to shorter boys, even if Blaine does have beautiful caramel colored eyes and long, thick eyelashes. His voice is gorgeous, but Caleb’s eighteen and muscular and a swimmer with blonde hair and crystal clear green eyes. He’s always loved light eyes. And he really wants to try to have some kind of relationship, even if he’s not ready to come out yet. Blaine’s too book smart and too eccentric. Kurt has a reputation to uphold.

He meets Rachel’s crazy eyes soundly. She tilts her head, “You should go talk to him.”

“Why?! I’ve never even spoken to him for longer than ten minutes. Isn’t it better for him just to go off with his tail between his legs?” Kurt spits, narrowing his own eyes at Rachel. She meets him with a glare of her own, and for the first time, he’s struck that she’s standing up for something that’s not all about her. “I don’t know him.”

“You need to talk to him,” Tina adds sagely, catching his eye. “Please, Kurt, give him closure. You know how he feels.”

It’s a low blow. Yes, Kurt had been in his place, greedily pining after Finn, and making a fool of himself to get his attention, but this is so far from the same thing that he can’t even understand. Kurt had wished for months, when all of the Finn and Rachel drama started and stopped that he and Finn could have talked. Kurt had had to create his own closure out of his own feelings of disappointment and inadequacy and it hadn’t gone well until Caleb had attracted Kurt’s attention as a newly transformed swim team hottie. Blaine’s situation isn’t like that, he thinks.

But Kurt Hummel is not a bad person. He’s compassionate, loyal, so very generous—as all his friends would say—and knows exactly how Blaine feels. He also doesn’t want to have to talk to Blaine and watch him cry and tell him straight to his face that he doesn’t like him. It reminds him all too well of that incredibly horrible time during their performance of ‘Bad Romance’ when he had been rejected in the worst way possible. His heart gives a painful throb at the memory and he knows he has to talk to Blaine. He takes a deep breath, “Where would he be?”

“Try the weight room. He’ll probably be at one of the bags,” Mike says quietly, finally looking up his and Tina’s clasped hands, “He boxes when his father’s words hit him too hard or he needs to release some anger.”

Kurt takes that without a comment, wondering so very briefly why Blaine needs to box and nods. He’s slow to get to his feet, feeling every one of their eyes on him and thinks vaguely that this must be how it feels to walk to his own execution. He turns back one last time to find more than half of them making moony eyes at each other. Santana is staring at Brittany who’s smiling back at her sweetly, and Artie keeps glancing at Mike and Tina with sad puppy eyes. Quinn and Puck’s hands are suspiciously close to touching, and he knows that Mercedes has been lying to him because she’s picking at her nails, longingly staring at Sam.

All of them are in the middle of unrequited love affairs. He snorts, as if any of them can judge him.

With a roll of his eyes, he leaves the room and heads to the wrestling room. He takes out his phone and glances at the message, smiling faintly at the little winky face. He really, really likes Caleb. He tries to answer with something witty and classy, but his mind draws a blank. He’s too preoccupied with the vision of teeny Blaine Anderson slamming his fists into a punching bag twice his side, crying over him. Kurt never asked to be the unknowing recipient of a Blaine’s affection. It’s not his fault.

He walks on his tiptoes when he passes Coach Sylvester’s office, listening to her muffled voice harassing some poor telemarketer, and knows that he really doesn’t want to bump into her now. The door to the weight room is open, and Kurt creeps inside, taking a quick look around the room. There’s no last period gym class so it’s pretty empty except for three soccer players in the far corner lifting weights. Thankfully no Cheerios are here—they have free gym membership to the nicest in town—and Kurt wanders into the room feeling relieved and disappointed that Blaine isn’t around.

“What are you doing here?”

Kurt almost stops short when he hears Blaine, turning on the spot toward the boys’ locker room. His face is dry, even if his eyes are a little red and puffy, but what really stops Kurt is that the slight sixteen year old is wearing a tight white wife-beater and a pair of loose gym shorts. Kurt had never ever looked at Blaine passed the outrageous suspenders, and vibrant bow ties and too short pants. He realizes that Blaine’s really not that bad looking. He’s muscular regardless of all the hours he spends in the library and there’s a fine dusting of dark hair peeking over the neckline of the tank top. Impatiently, Blaine walks straight passed him toward the punching bags. Kurt has a fantastic view of his ass when he bends down to retrieve his gloves and wow, Kurt had never ever spent any time ogling Blaine’s ass.

He really should have.

When Blaine turns around to face him, eyes stony and face set in a pursed expression, Kurt snaps to attention feeling oddly flushed and freaked out. He swallows and clears his throat, stepping closer so he can perch at the seat of one of the weight machines. Blaine holds up his arms in a ready position, eyes never leaving Kurt’s face. Kurt has to look down to his hands when the gaze is too intense, and he swallows again, feeling foolish and so very tired, “Are you okay?”

Blaine snorts, and begins to punch. Left, right, left, right, right.

“Stupid question,” Kurt licks his lips, “Blaine, I didn’t know that you liked me. I didn’t even know that we were really friends.” Kurt takes a deep breath, wincing at the words that are about to come out of his mouth. “I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I was just so caught up in Caleb and myself that I didn’t even realize I was hurting you.”

Blaine’s punching falters, and he glances at the corner where the soccer players had been. With the entrance of Blaine and Kurt, they had disappeared. The air conditioning cranks obnoxiously and Kurt hesitantly meets Blaine’s ashamed honey colored eyes, feeling incredibly self-conscious. He can practically see himself pining over Finn and fighting with Rachel over Finn. He takes a deep breath, “I’m so sorry, Blaine, if I made you feel worthless.”

Blaine looks done in; he doesn’t look angry, he seems utterly drained. From all the crying, Kurt realizes, remembering how worn out he had been after Rachel had come to him sharing her news and he had sobbed into his pillow for more than an hour. Blaine drops his hands to his sides, and begins to speak, “Please don’t make excuses; I’m so tired of hearing excuses. I’m a nerd, Kurt. I love physics and I know every musical that’s ever been on Broadway. I don’t want your pity; I know I’m not good enough for you. I don’t care if you feel bad, or if you think this is the right thing to do. Please, just stop.”

“Blaine, I’m not here to pity you—“

“I fell in love with you the moment I met you,” Blaine interrupts, eyes watching Kurt’s face drop in shock. There’s a fond smile on his face as he remembers, “My first day of school you helped me get the red slushy dye out of my favorite sweater. You were so attractive and older and so compassionate. I was immediately smitten with you, and I always have been.”

“I taught you the two parts vinegar to one part Clorox remedy.” Kurt murmurs, remembering as vividly as Blaine the day he walked into the boy’s bathroom to find Blaine soaked thoroughly by the sticky beverage and struggling with a sopping wet sweater. The boy had been nearly in tears, looking so small and ashamed that Kurt just had to help him. Kurt blinks at him, suddenly very aware that the glee club had been right and he’s been a fool. “I’m sorr—”

Blaine holds up a hand and shrugs, looking fairly more miserable than he did seconds ago. He goes back to punching, following a fairly easy rhythm. After a minute or two, he speaks up, “I really, really like you, Kurt. I like the way you dress when you don’t have to wear the uniform, and I like the way you smile and clap your hands when something excites you, and I like that you can hold your own against Santana, and put Rachel in her place with a single look.” He’s watching Kurt with a sad but affectionate expression. He starts punching again as he finishes, “I also know that you won’t ever feel the same way about me as I do you.”

Kurt sputters, “Blaine, I’ve really like Caleb for a long time, and I—“

“Stop it,” Blaine commands and Kurt surprises himself when his mouth closes immediately. Blaine wipes at his forehead, his intimidating persona drooping fast as he wilts into a sad little boy, “Don’t, please. I’ve been deluding myself the last year and a half to think that I had a chance. I’ve listened to you go on for hours about Caleb and his abs and his face and his hair. Today was just the final straw.” He breathes out heavily, “You can go now, you’ve apologized and we can go back to being ‘not’ friends.”

“We are friends,” Kurt protests, vehemently remembering how hours earlier he had wished that the younger boy could leave to annoy someone else. It amazes him how fast things have changed. Blaine casts him a look very reminiscent of his own bitch face, which makes Kurt’s cheeks flood with color once again. He quickly clarifies, “Acquaintances.”

“Better,” Blaine answers with a faint smile, “You really don’t need to apologize to me, Kurt. It’s not your fault, it’s mine, and I’ve decided that I’m okay with it.”

“Okay?”

Blaine nods, “I mean, I’m never going to be your and Caleb’s number one fan, but I want you to be happy. And if Caleb makes you happy, then I’ll be okay. I’ll move on because this is only high school in a podunk town in Ohio and there are hundreds of thousands of people to meet in New York.”

“New York?”

Blaine looks up at him with a weird expression on his face, “Yes, New York. It’s my dream to live there when I’m older. I’ve been cross-checking my projected SAT scores with colleges there and I can get into Columbia or NYU.”

Kurt nods thoughtfully, swallowing a comment that makes him seem like a squealing ten year old girl because hello, New York City has been his dream since he saw the skyline as a kid. He says instead, “I don’t want you to be just okay about this, Blaine. I’ve been where you are and I know that it makes you feel like your heart is collapsing into your chest. I don’t want you to feel ashamed and unloved as I did.”

“Well, I really can’t change that can I?” Blaine snaps, flashing him a disappointed look that Kurt knows is reflected more towards Blaine than Kurt. “I can’t change how you feel about me, but I can move on and get over my stupid, silly love for you. You’re going to find that Caleb’s the love of your life and nothing will change between us. I’ll be the nerdy, token gay kid who’s bullied and stomped on, and you’ll be the popular cheerleader with boy candy. That’s how it goes, Kurt, I know that and its okay. I’m not going to jump off a bridge, I promise. I may hate myself for, once again, getting attached to someone who doesn’t want me, but I’ll get over it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it,” Kurt protests. “This is high school, just because one person doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. You’ll find someone fabulous in New York City who’s all for you. And he’ll be wonderful and handsome and someone who can compete with you academically and vocally.”

“And why can’t that be you?” Blaine asks desperately, without thinking.

There are tears pooling in Blaine’s beautiful eyes, and Kurt has to look away from the face of the younger boy. He really doesn’t want to see him cry. Kurt lets Blaine collect himself, shamelessly using the time to come up with a reason why it can’t be him. He can’t really think of anything but the obvious: I don’t like you, I like Caleb. And that seems reasonably harsh considering the circumstance. “Blaine, please, I—“

“Can we just be friends at least?” Blaine blurts out, “I’m not going to try to cop a feel, or force alone time between us, but can we be friends? If you only just got to know me, I know that you’ll think differently about me.” His eyes are wide and pleading, and Kurt’s heart breaks just a little bit more.

“That would be perfect,” Kurt answers, and Blaine nods almost relieved as if he was afraid that Kurt would try to run away and never come near him. He lands one more punch to the bag, before stepping back and tugging off the gloves. “On Friday, the glee girls and I are going out for a much needed mall trip, and you’re going too,” Kurt smiles brightly at him, before getting to his feet. Blaine looks vaguely disappointed, but his eyes are clear and he seems to be standing taller. He looks pathetically small beside the bag, his hair tousled from sweat and running his hands through it anxiously. Kurt has this weird urge to wrap him up in a hug, sweaty and all, and he takes a step back before he can act on it. He waves slightly, smiling again before walking to the door, “I’ll talk to you soon, Blaine.”

“Kurt, wait,” He cries out, his voice sounding strangled. Kurt turns around and meets Blaine’s panicked wide-eyed gaze, “If something ever happens with Caleb, if he doesn’t treat you right, if he decides that he’s not gay, just know,” he pauses, biting his lip before locking eyes with Kurt with such blinding love that Kurt almost takes a step back, “I’ll always be here for you, okay? Just as friend, or if you ever wanted something more. Please?”

Kurt nods softly, a smile creeping up his face as he watches Blaine visibly relax into his original pose. Kurt knows that his dad loves him, knows that Mercedes loves him, knows that Finn and Carole do as well. But he’s never had someone indirectly related to him stress their love so adamantly. It warms his heart and sends a tingle all the way down to his toes.

He watches Blaine for one more minute, noticing the start of a delicate curl begin at his sweaty temple and eventually, letting his eyes wander down Blaine Anderson’s body. Kurt takes a deep breath, feeling the heavy weight of his iPhone in his pocket. He knows that there’s probably another message from Caleb on there but he can’t drag himself to look at it yet. Whatever feelings Caleb has for him seems minuscule compared to Blaine’s love. “Goodbye, Blaine. I’ll see you around.”

“Bye, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice sounds hoarse when Kurt turns around and starts toward the door. Kurt knows there’s a smile on his face, and a whole crop of unnamed feelings growing in his heart. He takes another deep breath, blowing out carefully and feeling a small uncertain smile grow on his face. Kurt’s taking his first steps outside the weight room when he hears it. It’s faint at first, but Kurt pauses and steps toward the door, sticking his head back in the room to listen. He leans against the door frame, sure that Blaine can see him and fairly certain that he doesn’t care.

Sing it loud, and clear.
I’ll always be waiting for you.
I will always be waiting.
For you.

A door in the weight room closes behind him, and Kurt heaves himself away from the wall, his heart drumming, his heartbeat rushing in his ears. There’s a faint smile on his face, and Kurt finds himself humming the song as he walks back toward the choir room. Maybe he wouldn’t mind getting to know Blaine.