A Shattered Boy And His Notebook
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Chapter 4: A Protector's Arms Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
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A Shattered Boy And His Notebook: Chapter 4: A Protector's Arms


E - Words: 1,399 - Last Updated: Feb 28, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Jan 08, 2013 - Updated: Feb 28, 2013
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Author's Notes: Okay, so this is a trigger heavy chapter. I wrote it last night on my phone, and thanks to my Wonderful Beta- Nalle5friends, its ready to be uploaded. Here we get to knowa little of what happened to Kurt. Warnings for this Chapter: Homosexual abuse, Attempted suicide, depression thoughts. I hope you guys like it!!!!Disclaimer: I do not own glee or any of the characters mentioned in this fic. Ryan Murphy does.

 

Blaine knelt by Kurt and tried to calm the shattered boy down.  He looked into the blue orbs and saw darkness, Kurt seemed to be in a bad and scary place, a place where Blaine did not want Kurt to be. It seemed to take ages for Trent to come back with the nurse.  Mrs.Polonal knelt down next to Kurt, "Kurt. Sweetie, Its Mrs. Polonal, I need you to calm down," she then turned to Blaine, "Can you help me get him into your room so he can calm down?"  Blaine responded, "Yes, but how? He won't let anyone touch him." Mrs. Polonal looked at Kurt then Blaine, "He will understand later, but right now we have to."

Blaine looked at Kurt worriedly, "Okay." He tossed Trent his keys to unlock the door and he went to Kurt. "I'm really sorry Kurt, but we need to get you out of the hallway."  Blaine then went to scoop Kurt in his arms and carry the shaking boy into their room. Blaine had felt Kurt twist and start to struggle out of Blaine's grasp and then he started to scream. Mrs. Polonal had tried her best to help the young boys out.  Kurt, after a few moments seemed to stop struggling and he curled into the safe arms of Blaine, somehow aware of his surroundings now. Blaine looked down at the shattered boy in his arms surprised at how the boy seemed to calm down after realizing it was Blaine. Blaine laid him down on his bed and watched Kurt curl into a ball. The nurse asked Trent to leave and head down to the guidance office to get Miss Keltington, which left only Blaine to wait anxiously to find out if his roommate would be alright. ’How do I feel so much for someone I've known so for little?’ It was weird, how close Blaine felt to Kurt. Like he and Kurt belonged. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kurt's mind and body were not in the same place, his body was shaking in the hallway at Dalton Academy, but his mind was in a much darker place.

 

'His body felt icky, disgusting, used.’ Kurt cowerd on the locker room floor, blood dripping from his wrist and tears from his eyes. 'FAG' was carved onto each of his wrists, ‘this is a reminder to what you are and how you will never belong or be loved you cock slut.' The words echoed through his find. Kurt was sick of it. He was sick of being the source of ridicule and entertainment for HIM. He was sick of having to apologize for who he was. He felt ashamed and like an embarrassment to his father. His farther deserved a better son, one who he could watch football with, talk about girls with, not one who liked tea parties and playing dress up. He was a failure, worthless boy who didn't deserve to be here. Kurt walked into the weight room of the gym, his blood leaving a trail behind him and a rope in his hand.  It was time to end this, time for him to see his mother again, time for him to stop being judged and tortured.  Kurt had tears streaming down his face and he pulled the chair over, to the hanging rope. Kurt had left a note in his backpack, having it written for quite some time, they would find it. His father had Carol had Finn, the perfect son his father always wanted, his dad would be fine without him. Kurt climbed the chair and looked at his surroundings; the blood pooling around his feet. He could feel his body draining as the blood from his wrists continued to flow. Kurt didn't hear the door to the locker-room open or hear someone call his name. All he could think about was the rope in front of him. He placed the rope around his neck and tightened so it was snug and prepared to step off the chair. 'KURT! NO!!!!!' was the last thing he heard before taking the step off the chair.

 

Kurt's mind now came back to his body and he realized he was screaming and that someone's strong arms were supporting him and carrying him into a room. Kurt started to squirm and struggle only to look up at his keeper and to see that it was Blaine. He doesn't know why, but for some reason, feeling Blaine's strong arms and calloused hands made him feel somewhat safe. Kurt stopped struggling and curled into his strong protector arms and inhaled his warm scent. It smelt delicious, like some cheap cologne but with a musky scent of Blaine. Kurt liked it, he felt warm and safe. When Blaine set him down he lost all that warmth and safety feeling. He curled up into a ball hugging his pillow and trying to hold onto that feeling of being in Blaine's arms. 

Kurt was slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. He knew he was at Dalton, in his and Blaine's room. There was Blaine here and some other lady he didn't know. The lady carefully sat down next to him and handed him a glass of water and two small yellow pills. Kurt took them shyly not looking up from his notebook that sat on his lap that Blaine had managed to carry in with him. They were both staring at him waiting for him to talk but all he did was nod a thank-you.  Mrs. Polonial,  as Kurt found out, then proceeded to check Kurt's bandages on his wrist and neck to see of any of them needed to be changed, and it so happened that Kurt has re-opened his left wrist's cuts and she started unwrapping the bandage.  Once it was unwrapped Kurt heard a small gasp come from Blaine. Kurt became self-conscious and turned away pulling his hand close to his body. Kurt didn't want Blaine to see that. Surely, Blaine wouldn't want to room with a fag. Mrs. Polonial spoke up, "Kurt it’s okay. But I need to clean it and then I’ll give you a brand new bandage. "

Kurt sighed and gave her his wrist. Mrs. Keltington came in after his wrist was fixed. She asked Kurt some questions to which he just nodded, shrugged, and shook his head. 

After all that Kurt laid in his bead, staring up at the ceiling. It was now about 10 at night. Blaine wasn't asleep in the bed across the room from him, but they had turned off the light to try and sleep. 

"Kurt, I'm sorry I had to touch you today. I'm also sorry for whatever you are going through. I went through something similar.  I was bullied because of being gay. But coming to Dalton and meeting the warblers really helped. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm here if you want to talk or write or whatever. Just so you know that I'm here to listen if you need me." Blaine said softly. Kurt wanted so badly to say ’thank you’ but he couldn't get the words out. Kurt looked at Blaine and wrote ’Thank you’ on a sheet of paper getting up and giving it to him. Then simply walked back to his bed and laying down. Blaine looked at the sheet of paper using his phone's light. Blaine knew it took so much for that boy to write two simple words. But it mentioned so much. Time passed and Kurt was almost asleep when Blaine spoke again. 

"Kurt," Blaine whispered and Kurt turned to face him, "Sorry. I just wanted to tell you, that you are not what your wrist says. No one deserves to have that or be called it. I just want you to know that you aren’t that. You are beautiful."

Kurt listened to Blaine and just moved by what he said. It meant so much to Kurt to hear someone say that. Kurt looked at Blaine and barely audible forced out three simple words, "Blaine, thank you."  With that Kurt closed his eyes. Blaine was shocked by the boy’s voice, even though it was soft and he was barely able to hear it, it sounded angelic.  Blaine was touched and bewildered at how Kurt spoke to him. Blaine closed his eyes and. Drifted off to sleep, with Kurt's angelic voice saying his name in his head.

 

 

End Notes: So there you guys go. Its weried that I do not have a plot map for this. I just write what comes to my mind. Anyway R&R. I can't promise when I will update next, I have to write it and I just started school back up so i have more work and less time. Add me on Tumblr too: Starkid-Junkie

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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG i think i just found my new favorite fanfic in the whole world all i can say is wow i love this please make more this book is just so fricken good i cired when he talked please update as soon as you can this book is amazing i just love this so much please hurry <3 i wish i could give your book a rating of a billion

Awwww you are so sweet? Really you think it is that good!?I love you <3

Wow. what can I say? I am IN LOVE with this story! Not only do you update regularly(woo!) but the plot, the story line, the way you portray the characters and the Slowish medium pace of the story is perfect! There is definately much more that I love. When I read the summary I instantly had to take a peek at this story and thank goodness I did! it's so wonderfully written. Is this really your first story because I find your writing style completely compelling. Can I list a few other things I live about this story? it hits some of my kinks! I live that Blaine is so sweet and gently with Kurt and that one line in Chapter 1 "he felt like he needed to protect him." *_* I found that sooo sooo sooo hot. dalton!klaine is another favorite of mine too and I love how you intertwined some canon moments with au moments. Please continue updating this AMAZING story regularly because I am in love! Till the next review :)