This is how it went:

When Kurt and Adam broke up and Blaine moved to New York, Blaine thought that was their second chance.

Blaine did it all: the romantic Come What May duet in the roof, the surprise one hundred roses in his apartment, serenade out in the rain, the little plane with a message, a graffiti in a nearby building, even a singing dwarf.

And, although Kurt longed for Blaine, missed him more than anything, and wanted nothing more than accept him back, he just couldn't trust his ex-boyfriend anymore.

When Kurt looked at Blaine he saw the man he loved, he saw those full lips he wanted to kiss so badly, he saw that gelled down hair that he always wanted to breakfreeand run his hands through, he saw those warm hazel eyes that used to give me so much comfort, so much peace, so much love, that made him understand and believe in love, discover that is nothing quite like having a soul mate, a best friend to be there beside them for better and for worse. Those warm hazel eyes that gave him a taste of heaven and made him believe in forever.

But above all he saw the man who broke him.

Maybe it was his fault after all, for being too naive or too immature. When he got used to the feeling of loving and being loved he convinced himself that it was forever. Blaine was the love of his life and nothing could ever get them apart, they would grow old together without a scratch in their relationship, 'cause they were perfect.

That's why he was broken when Blaine cheated on him, because his bobble of happiness, endless dreams and blind trust was cruelly popped without warning.

In some way and for a long time, he became a shadow of his former self after that.

And while Blaine worked his sorry ass out to win Kurt's trust back, the older boy was left with the unbearable confusion of his broken heart: he wanted nothing more than to have Blaine back, for them to start building a new life together in the city of their dreams, but could never look at him without feeling hurt, betrayed and insecure.

He also felt like he didn't know who he was at all. He had been Blaine's boyfriend for so long that he forgot to discover himself in the process.

So in Blaine's first year at NYADA and his second, Kurt did his best to assemble his self, to find out what he really wanted to do, who he was, what he liked and disliked.

Turned out, NYADA didn't work that well and in the middle of his second year, he gave up his teenage dream of Broadway, went back to vogue and got himself into NYU , taking a major in fashion design and a minor in psychology.

He discovered himself and conquered his confidence along the way.

Even with all these transformations, one thing kept unchanging: his need to have Blaine close by. But that was a bittersweet wish: even though Kurt needed his best friend around, when he was with Blaine he couldn't stop thinking about what he had lost.

So, for the first year they swayed between being friends, Blaine spilling out his feelings and his sorrow, begging him for forgiveness and Kurt running away in fear of taking another change. They wouldn't talk for a month or two until one of them reached out and started the cycle one more time.

It took a whole of two years and a lot of therapy on both sides for them to be friends again.

After a while, Kurt was able to put everything in perspective and understand that they had been young and stupid, they had both made mistakes, that Blaine was only human and probably his own idea of love was a bit too utopian and unrealistic to be practical.

Blaine was able to understand that he could never change what Kurt was feeling and that he could only forgive himself and make sure Kurt new exactly how he felt. He also came to terms with the idea that their moment had passed and that the important thing was their friendship.

Basically, Blaine stopped trying to fix things with Kurt, because didn't think he had the right to keep pushing the issue. Their friendship was the thing he treasured most in the world and he couldn't keep jeopardizing it in favor of his selfish feelings, so if Kurt didn't love him, he had to accept it.

And when Kurt was open to the idea of trying again if Blaine ever asked him to and when Blaine didn't he convinced himself that he had lost his chance by saying no too many times and therefore Blaine was no longer interested in getting back together with him.

So... yeah... I guess they didn't get together in the end.

But this process was so organic that there were no hard feelings or tension between them, they grew closer together as friends and became each other's "person" with simply accommodating to the safety of their friendship.

All this to get where we are now: year of 2019, both relatively fresh out of college, Blaine working on his first off Broadway star role and singing whenever and wherever possible and Kurt preparing his first collection, no longer an intern in after being promoted to Isabelle's personal assistant he was also writing for their website every week. He still kept in touch and often worked with his favorite psychology teacher on the weekends and a few days of the week as well.

Things weren't perfect: both males still struggle with rent, Kurt was feeling insecure about the quality of his designs and Blaine feared never reaching Broadway, but the tables were turning and the future looked promising enough to keep their hopes and spirits high.

And above all, they had each other.

They lived almost across the street from one another and until this day kept a few rituals they wouldn't give up easily: Thursday night movie and dinner, morning coffee in their street's Starbucks, pre and post date reunions to decide what to wear and later on dish about how awful it had been, Christmas duets in NYC, soup when sick and chocolate when heartbroken and they both had a really cheesy and borderline insane addiction to post cards. More often than not, when one of them wanted to say anything to the other, rather than sending a boring text message, they would slip a postcard under the door saying random things like "There's an off Broadway company doing a musical version of The Hobbit on the Waddington Theater. We. Must. Go." or "Did you ever notice the florist owner down the street has only 4 fingers?". Blaine's studio/office's walls were actually entirely covered by postcards from Kurt.

OoO

This Thursday, Kurt woke up to the sound of the coffee machine and the smell of eggs. Even with the appealing treats in the kitchen, it took a whole 15 minutes for him to gather the courage to get out of bed.

On Thursdays, in order of him being able to take the afternoon off to help out in his teacher's office, he had to be in headquarters before 7am. That meant his alarm usual went off before 6.

Grumpy and dragging, he made his way through his apartment and found Blaine in the kitchen, fixing him a place of eggs and pancakes and pouring him some coffee.

- Good Morning Sunshine!

- Shut Up.

- Oh, me? I'm fine thanks for asking! How are you?

- Please, die. – Kurt grunts and throws his head on the table - How are you even able to function this early?!

Only then he noticed the disheveled look of his best friend, the faint scent of second handed smoke and alcohol. He was dressed in a pair of tight dark jeans tucked in his signature black boots, black shirt and red cardigan. Night-out clothes, Kurt quickly figured.

- I don't even have words for the contempt I feel for you right now.

- I love you too. Eat your breakfast and drink your coffee.

- Don't tell me what to do.

Nevertheless, Kurt attack his plate like it was a slice of heaven and ate in silence. He welcomed the coffee in his veins with a happy sigh as he began feeling human again.

Blaine chuckled, this was more amusing than anything else. He was one the few who were able to see the always put-together Kurt Hummel in this tousled and grumpy manner.

- Oh how I love good food in the morning, thank you.

- My pleasure. Rachel's still asleep?

- Yeah, I think she doesn't need to be in the theater for the next 3 days. How was your night?

- Great! I actually met someone. That's kind of the reason why I'm here...

Kurt frowned out of curiosity and looked up from his plate to his best friend.

- His name is Jacob and he's studying... - he seemed to struggle to remember - ...art and he's really nice and we had a great time and he invited me over for dinner in his place...

Blaine paused not knowing how to continue and looked expectantly to Kurt in hopes that he would figure it out.

- Yay for you Blaine! – Kurt said a little bit sarcastically, not knowing what his friend was expecting him to say.

- Well, the problem is the dinner thing is tonight.

Kurt's expression felt for a second, after all this was their thing: take-out, popcorn, soda and movie snuggles every Thursday night. But he pulled himself together quickly and said:

- Well, we wouldn't want you missing a great fuck with an artist, would we?

Blaine smiled broadly and got next to the stool Kurt was seated on and hugged his friend.

- You're the best! I promise I make it up to you! I'll you take out for dinner tomorrow, what do you say?

- Whatever, as long as I'm having lobster.

- Wherever you want! I won't even point out the fact that you don't like lobster.

Kurt smiled, hugged his friend and told him to have fun. He then proceeded to slap Blaine's butt and say:

- Now, get out of my face, I'm getting late 'cause of ya!

Blaine smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

- Have fun at work.

- You too, lovebird!

- Love you.

- Love too.

When Kurt was leaving the house later that morning, he found a postcard in his entry mat. It was an old picture of Times Square in black and white that said "Goo' Old Days" and on the back, Blaine had written:

"Thank you for letting me fuck an artist tonight. I'll pick you up at 7pm tomorrow. From down the street, with love. Blaine."

Kurt laughed all the way to the subway and was still smiling when he reached . This was nice. Their friendship was nice. At this point it felt like home, it was his secure place to come back when everything around him crumbled and he loved everything about their relationship: the trust, the intimacy, the ease... He didn't have to worry about the complications of a romantic relationship. He was perfectly happy with the way things had turned out. Really, he was...

OoO

Five months later found Kurt doing spring cleaning, balanced on a chair trying to reach the top shelves of his living room.

He was humming to himself and soon his babbling became more coherent as he began singing the female part of Baby It's Cold Outside, faintly remembering doing the same thing many years ago in a rich looking room with a rich looking guy.

He could easily hear the instrumental in his head, so he followed it.

- I really can stay,

I've got to go away,

This welcome has been,

So very nice.

He jumped from his chair only to pick it up again and move it to the far end of the bookcase and hopping up onto it again.

- My mother will start to worry.

Then a voice came from behind him.

- Beautiful what's your hurry?

Blaine came into view and leaned on the door frame, wearing a rather mischievous smile.

Kurt is momentarily startled as he looks down to his best friend's kind of waiting expression, but he's soon amused by the interruption and joins in their duet.

- My father will be pacing the floor.

- Listen to the fireplace roar.

- So really I'd better scurry.

- Beautiful please don't hurry.

- But maybe just half a drink more.

In that moment they could swear they heard music coming into the studio apartment joining them as they began the silly and obviously flirty duet much similar to the one they had done in Dalton that many years ago. They spin around in a sort of choreographed rat vs. mouse game and go as far as dancing something reminding a waltz in the little instrumental break. They look and sound overly affectionate like they mean for it to be overplayed and acted but sometimes, without either of them noticing, there's an authenticity feel to their words and actions, there is a line of truth beneath the act.

They end up in the exact same position as 8 years ago: pressed together in the couch, still feeling the second handed emotions of the part they played during the song. But with that feeling disappearing rapidly, the two friends are left with the incredible need to do or say something else. Notwithstanding, the scene doesn't really get an awkward status because it only takes a tiny second for them to easily and quickly shrug it off.

It's not awkward because they know each other too well, have been friends for too long, are intimate enough and perfectly satisfied with their relationship status for it not to be awkward.

Or so they make themselves believe every time things get a little uncomfortable or too personal...

Kurt stands, smiles down at his friend and tells him in a truthfully nonchalant way:

- Hell that was random! But your acting is getting much better, I almost believed it!

It's supposed to sound like a joke, almost a tease, but Blaine's semblance falls a little bit.

- Do you want coffee? I just made some. – Kurt offers.

- Yeah, sure!

Back in the kitchen, sitting in the stools by the counter, Kurt asks:

- So, what do you want?

- Uh?

- Oh please, you wouldn't be here this early if you didn't want something!

- It's half past ten.

- Again: too early. You're usually going to bed at this time.

- Ah. Ah. Ah. – Blaine said, mocking funny – We've woken up so funny and cleaver haven't we?! I guess with that perspicacity, I don't even have to tell you why I came, you'll just figure it out with your mind-reading powers and tell me!

- Don't push me, you know I could probably do it.

Blaine gives up his act and smiles.

- Yeah, I know. Well, I'll just cut right to it, I know you only take redundant bullcrap from paying patients, I need your help with Jacobs' birthday present.

Kurt is slightly surprised.

- Ooookay... When is his birthday?

Blaine is slightly embarrassed.

- Yesterday.

- Uh? His birthday is yesterday?

- Well, it technically was yesterday, I kind of forgot... BUT we 're only going to dinner to celebrate today, so hopefully he'll never know.

Kurt breathes deeply and closes his eyes. When he opens them again he smiles almost maniacally, obviously faking.

- You know, I could get really pissed with you right now, but I'll choose not to for the sake of all those inner peace and self-control posters in my work office – He pauses and closes his eyes again – Walk the walk, walk the walk! – He mutters to himself. - And because it's not really my business how you treat your boyfriend.

- You know I've been really busy at work with the opening night approaching...

- That's no excuse, we both know it Blaine... – Kurt says, sounding truly understanding.

- You're right... – Blaine admits rather shamefully – But will you help me? I have no clue what to give him and you're always the best at gift shopping!

- Flattery will get you everywhere, Mister Anderson – Kurt smiles - I guess I could postpone my afternoon appointments...

Blaine smiles and bobs a little in his stool.

- You're the best, you know that right?

- Of course.

- I need to get going now, I'm sorry, I need to stop by the theater for some – he does air quotes – "last minute fittings". I swear to God, that director is going to end up having me playing the lead in only my underwear at this rhythm. But I'll buy you lunch, okay? And then we can go shopping! Yay!

- Ok, ok! But don't think you can buy my help with some crappy mall lunch, you still owe me!

- I know, I know, you deserve lobster for this one - He gets up and heads for the door. - See you in a few!

When he's already in the outside hall, he hears Kurt call from the kitchen.

-Hey! – He leans out of the door to the hall– Call the florist, have them deliver a bouquet of white roses and wild flowers to his work.

He throws him the little florist card and Blaine catches it to his chest. He looks down at it and smiles largely, looks up still smiling and mouths a "Thank You" before he leaves.

OoO

In the busy halls of the mall, they walk out of the food quarters and talk animatedly about the musical Blaine is doing and some crazy patients that Kurt is treating.

- ... and that's how I learned to never touch a OCD patient in the shoulder!

Blaine has tears in his eyes from laughing. Kurt is always so funny when he talks about his patients. What's even more fantastic is that inside his office, he's the most professional and understanding therapist you'll ever meet and he only dishes about his patients' diseases and funny outbursts, never their personal information or dramas, so it's only a half bit reproving.

- But back to your present! Let's lay out your options, 'kay?

- 'kay!

- What abooouuut... a watch? It's safe, it's classic. You can have it personalized with something meaningful like how Carrie did for Big in the Sex And The City movie, uh?

- I don't think we're there yet.

Kurt stops in his tracks and gives him a look.

- You've been dating for over five months now.

- I wouldn't call it so much as dating.

Kurt ignores him and continues.

- He already gave you the key to his house.

- I didn't ask him to give it to me.

Kurt still ignores him and continues.

- He does your laundry.

Blaine finally sees his point:

- Well, I guess we are getting a little serious.

Kurt gives him another look, shakes his head and starts walking again towards the shop's aisles. Blaine does a little jog and catches up with his friend.

- What?!

- You know damn well "what"!

- Oh please, not another "I think you're afraid of commitments" talk, spare me!

- You're the one who asked! And if you hate that talk so much, I think that's the perfect reason for me to repeat it: you can't keep doing this to the guys you date! They are always way ahead of you! Even now, Jacob is probably thinking you're the one for him and, while clearly not having the courage to ask you to move in just yet, he gives you the key to his house as a clear sign that he wants you to be future Mr. Jacob Artist Anderson. Meanwhile, you don't even think you're "actually dating".

- I can't help the way I feel.

- You're right, you can't. But you also can't lead Jacob on this way. Be honest with him, it's all I'm saying. If you're unhappy, tell him! If you're happy but you want to take things slower, tell him! If you only want casual sex, tell him! But wanting casual and acting like you want a notebook retiring home with swans ending is... is asshole jar worthy, man!

At this point, Kurt was almost screaming with his friend. He couldn't help it. We tried to convince himself that his outburst was simply due to the morally reproving acts of his friend. It was merely Kurt trying to persuade Blaine to do the right thing, to be a good boyfriend, 'cause he knows for a fact that Blaine can do better.

If he wasn't so afraid of looking deeper into his feelings, he would figure out that he's also upset because Blaine has left him to be a crappy boyfriend to someone else. Deep in his mind he thinks that, in the end, it wasn't really worth it, 'cause neither of them is living the love of their lives and being 100% happy.

As for Blaine, he is shocked to say the least. But the shock quickly fades into disappointment and anger. He's so sick and tired of this talk. Hell, he knows what he's doing, but he just can't help it. Relationships never came easy for him. (Well, except maybe for one, but that doesn't matter anymore). We always finds himself having to force his words and acts for the sake of his boyfriends' feelings, it's like his love wears out easily and quickly and from then on he has to pretend.

- You know what? This was a bad idea. I thought I could have a fun afternoon shopping with my best friend without being judge and lecture! But I guess you can never leave the psychologist at home, can you? Well, guess what? I'm not paying you!

And with that he was gone, leaving Kurt alone and speechless in the busy hall.

OoO

That day, before leaving for dinner (with an art book wrapped up and under his arm), Blaine found a card on his front door's mat.

It was obnoxiously pink with hearts and bears in the front cover, surely something from Valentine's Day. Right beside a particularly dreadful smiling bear, Kurt had written:

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue..."

Blaine opened the card and inside Kurt continued with:

"I'm an asshole...

And so are you"

Complete with a rudimentary drawing of two sad-faced stick men labeled "Asshole #1" and "Asshole #2" and a P.S. note that read:

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to sound or look judgmental, you know it's just my natural bitch face (side effect of being this beautiful). Please forgive me. Coffee and homemade cupcakes to redeem myself? Tomorrow? My place? LY."

Blaine smiled despite himself. Kurt had been forgiven the moment he had reached the mall's parking lot, but he had been too proud to come back so he decided to keep on with his facade Moreover, it was always fun to make his best friend suffer a little bit, 'cause he always came up with original ideas to apologize out of guilt he was feeling.

He still remembers that one time Kurt covered his car with multicolored post-its saying: "I'M SORRY! P.S. I'm still right". Blaine chuckled at the memory. He really liked this, their friendship. At this point it was the only thing he was sure of, the thing he knew would always be there no matter what. He was perfectly happy with the way things had turned out. Really, he was...