"OK, just relax. Your friend told me you were in a car accident, and to be gentle. Let me know if anything hurts." The masseur was a tall, muscular man with a tan, his green eyes seeming warm and friendly.

Kurt nodded, lying on his stomach on the massage table. It was a high-end spa, everything luxurious, with soft lighting and classical music playing in the background.

Today was kind of like a graduation ceremony, from an invalid to being a person again. He had treated all the nurses to a full spa day, which turned out to be just what Kurt had needed.

After a long soak in a scented hot tub, he'd had a body wrap. Treated himself to a facial, and the male version of a manicure and pedicure. It was like they were scrubbing off the old layer of skin and revealing a fresh, new Kurt underneath. He felt fairly strong again, and able to handle most things physically. He had his body back most of the way, or at least as good as he could get it for now.

Still, he felt a little self-conscious, wearing only a towel draped over his ass, while this attractive man spread scented oil over his back and working firmly on his muscles, such as they were. There were some tight areas, and he could tell the masseur knew his stuff, changing his strokes to work out those areas of tension. Kurt relaxed under his skillful touch.

An errant thought popped into his head that this was a typical gay porn set-up. A client and the handsome masseur. Kurt was glad he was facedown, his face pressed against the cushioned opening in the massage table, hiding his slight blush. Even though he had gotten a haircut and a professional shave yesterday to feel more like himself, he really didn't feel confident anymore.

The man in the mirror didn't look much different than he had before the accident, but Kurt's whole life was different. Who was he now, since he couldn't be a singer?

"OK, turn over onto your back, please." The masseur requested, his deep voice tugging Kurt out of his thoughts.

The masseur was professional in the way he held Kurt's towel up a little as he flipped over, while still hiding his nudity from view. As the man worked his oiled hands over Kurt's chest, he tensed slightly.

The masseur pulled back, concerned. "I'm sorry, is that part sensitive?" Kurt shook his head quickly, and the masseur resumed the massage, moving a little more carefully along Kurt's left side.

It was still a little strange, seeing those faded scars on his skin from the accident when he was showering. How bad had he looked after the accident? Had he had smaller cuts and bruises everywhere that had faded completely? How long had his leg been in a cast? Part of him was amazed at how much his body had recovered from such a bad crash. Felt grateful that he was mostly healthy. He tried to remind himself of that every time he was frustrated. It could have been much, much worse.

Opening his eyes slightly, he idly watched as the masseur stroked his large hands over his body. Although he was attractive, Kurt felt no zing of chemistry from him. What if he could convince Blaine to give him a back rub, now that he was going to be staying at his apartment for the next three months?

It was all too easy to picture it, candles flickering as Kurt laid on a thick towel on the living room rug, in just his boxer-briefs. Blaine kneeling beside him, pouring warm oil in a line along his spine. Those strong musician fingers working into his muscles, not as skilled as this masseur, but still feeling so, so good.

Rolling over on to his back, and Blaine seeing that Kurt was hard in his briefs. Knowing that his touch had affected Kurt that way, and being aroused by it, his gaze warming as it met Kurt's. His hands working the oil into his thighs, moving upwards, making Kurt arch his hips up in response, just needing more.

With a jolt, he realized that he was actually aroused, the towel hiding nothing. The masseur was stroking along his thighs with a lighter touch, similar to what Kurt had been imaging in his fantasy. Meeting his gaze, the masseur's green eyes seemed a little warmer, and then they flicked down to Kurt's tented towel. Nothing said out loud, but the question was loud and clear. If Kurt gave him a nod, that towel would be gone in a second and he would have those slick, talented hands in a far more intimate place.

Feeling embarrassed mostly, Kurt gave a slight shake of his head and closed his eyes. The masseur didn't press the issue, his massage continuing in a completely professional way that made Kurt relax again.

As a gay man, he had learned the subtle signals when he was in his twenties, before he was well known. Mostly it was done with non-verbal glances, a simple message of 'You are hot. Wanna do something?' If he was attracted as well, he could jump into things or they could talk, get to know each other more, or set some limits. Gay men were almost brutally honest about casual hook-ups. If he wasn't interested, a quick shake of the head was enough to dissuade 99% of guys. A few needed a more direct comment to direct their energies elsewhere.

He didn't get the feeling the masseur was the type to offer happy endings to clients routinely, which kind of boosted his self-confidence. An attractive man, who was touching him, like he did for many clients each day, had found Kurt attractive wearing almost nothing. And ironically, to be wanted by a stranger fed into Kurt's feeling that he wasn't an invalid anymore. He was being seen as a regular person again, in most ways.

By the time the massage was done, he had settled down, and gave the masseur a genuine smile of thanks. He saw the way the man smiled back, his gaze lingering a little on Kurt's mouth before he left Kurt to get into his robe.

"Ladies, let's get dinner and wine. Lots of wine." Kurt joined his group in the plush entrance, feeling relaxed and happy.

Hannah gave him a side hug. "No wine for you, Kurt! You haven't had alcohol for a year."

As they all piled into a taxi, Kurt haggled with Hannah, getting her to agree to him having one glass of wine. Soon, she wouldn't be around to bug him, so he didn't mind her interference too much. It came from good intentions, and listening to his health care team's advice had helped him get to this point.

...

Kurt stared after Blaine as he left the kitchen, clearly mad at being teased by Sam and Kurt. He had never seen Blaine irritated at anything before.

"Don't worry about it, man. Blaine never stays angry with anyone for very long. He'll cool off on his own, and we'll apologize for bugging him. It's all good." Sam patted Kurt's shoulder as he stood up, collecting the dirty dishes.

Nodding, Kurt helped him clear the table and watched as he filled the sink with soapy water. "You tease him a lot?" He just wanted to know more about Blaine, and his past.

Sam was quick at washing the dishes, and Kurt grabbed a tea towel to dry them. "It's mutual. In high school, he used to try to tame his curls by dumping gel on his head every day. Plus, he dressed so preppy, in cardigans with bow ties. What seventeen year old guy does that?"

Kurt was aghast at the thought of those beautiful dark curls being put into a gelmet. His expression must have conveyed it well, because he had Sam laughing hard.

"Where did you grow up? Before the bright lights, big city of New York?" Sam asked, wiping down the counters and table while Kurt put away the food and dishes.

The kitchen looked good, so Kurt motioned Sam to the living room, sinking down beside him on the sofa. He felt remarkably comfortable around this laid back man. "A tiny town in Ohio that nobody has ever heard of. I was one of the few out guys in high school. I was eager to leave."

"You don't miss it? I bet they were all amazed when you won all those big awards. Those Timmy's." Sam seemed genuinely interested, and had obviously been around famous actors enough to not be star struck. He treated Kurt like a normal person.

Kurt smiled a bit at Sam calling Tony's by the wrong name. It showed how little he followed the Broadway world, and it was a relief to have Sam just know him as he was now. Not comparing him to 'old' Kurt.

He shrugged. "I was close with my family and a group of friends in show choir, and they were all happy for me. Most of them moved away for school and work, got busy with their own lives."

Sam nodded along. "For me too. I played football in high school, and was so close with the guys, but I've only stayed true friends with Blaine."

Kurt was quiet, thinking of all the people he had known over the years. All the people he had lost touch with, being so busy and focused on his career. There were no friends from high school, NYADA, or his past shows he felt close enough with still to even email now.

"Can I borrow your tablet for a minute? I want to see those videos of you again." Sam asked politely this time, after being admonished by Blaine before.

Kurt passed it over, watching as Sam brought up a page full of his interviews. Ten years in the business, promoting show after show, talking with dozens of reporters. His early, awkward interviews to his final ones, a seasoned, mature professional with many awards, confident in his future.

Sam sampled a few seconds of each video, smiling as he clicked on the next one, his excitement growing. "Fuck, these are all at least five minutes long, and done professionally! This is awesome!"

His enthusiasm was infectious, and Kurt smiled back. "Why is it so awesome?"

"I think we could ADR the shit out of this! I've seen them do it in movies all the time." Sam got explaining his idea, playing some of the videos and saying that there were recorded versions of Kurt saying many words out there.

Kurt nodded in understanding, letting Sam babble on and taking in about half of it. The other half of him was listening to the videos that were playing.

So strange to think it was only about two years ago. He had everything set. More successful on Broadway then he'd ever dared to dream of, and with the promise of years of choice parts ahead of him. He had planned to work hard and save a lot of money, living conservatively. Wanting to be financially stable for when the offers slowed down, when his 15 minutes of fame were up.

Then Adam had come along and introduced him to a lavish lifestyle, taking him on luxurious trips and shopping at the best designers. Clothes had always been Kurt's weakness, and he treated himself to occasional splurges, without dipping into his savings. But Adam spoiled Kurt, insisting on paying for everything. Adam would never live as simply as Kurt did, so Kurt adapted to Adam's ways.

Deep in his heart, Kurt had always wondered how long it would last. They had fun together; partying, travelling, and shopping. It was hedonistic and without limits. But eventually, Kurt tired of it. The idea of another fancy party, full of phony people trying to impress each other, bored him. Adam still loved it, but he'd grown up in that lifestyle, was used to swimming in those waters. Kurt had only tried it on for a while, and in the end, found it didn't fit him that well.

"I'm sorry! I'm probably boring you to tears with all this." Sam had paused, seeing how Kurt's attention had shifted.

He was saved from answering when Blaine joined them. It was a fun night, talking about the voice app and playing card games.

...

Only a few hours later, Kurt was closing the door after Blaine helped him to his bedroom. Stripping quickly, Kurt slipped into his large bed and took a couple pumps of hand lotion. He kept thinking of how Blaine had just looked, smelled, and felt. Imagined pulling him into the bedroom instead of shutting the door. Stripping him, touching and tasting him. All night long.

Lying back on the pillows after, Kurt knew he shouldn't have done that tonight to Blaine. Or to himself. To be Kurt, the performer, to attract men... It was shallow and purely physical. They were attracted to the role, a fantasy, a made-up person that Kurt embodied for a few hours. To continue that to the bedroom was only superficially satisfying.

Kurt had been weak, giving into an impulse and seeing if he could get Blaine to give him the fanboy lustful look. For that moment, acutely missing being the big star and wanting the shallow flattery and attention. To be looked at with desire.

There was an energy, and intensity, that performers could give off, and he had done it in the kitchen. Letting Blaine feel it, feeling his awareness of it in return. Looking Blaine over slowly, appreciating his body in those fitted clothes. He had poured out the energy, and Blaine had responded to it.

But here, now, Kurt wondered if he had damaged their friendship for that silly impulse. Would things be awkward between them now?

Sure, it had been nice to be looked at that way, after feeling like an invalid, a half-dead person, for so long. But the looks hadn't been for Kurt now. It had been leftover feelings for Kurt that was now long, long gone.

Kurt wanted to be cared and wanted for who he was now. Not because he was a shadow of his former self. And getting involved with Blaine, an admitted fan, just wouldn't be right.

...

Kurt licked up the side of his cone, tasting the sweet creamy vanilla, feeling the warm sun on his skin, the sounds of the zoo all around him. There was something so good about simple quiet pleasures like having a day like this. So much of Kurt's life for over the past ten years had been work, work, work. He loved the work, but the pace was relentless.

Glancing over at Blaine, he was a bit distracted by the way he was licking a drip of melted ice cream from the side of his hand. Then he went back enjoying to his treat, which seemed to involve some rather enthusiastic slurping and sucking.

Shifting his messenger bag onto his lap, Kurt looked away and was glad he was wearing sunglasses. Maybe Blaine hadn't noticed how avidly Kurt was just watching him. This was becoming embarrassing frequent, getting turned on just being around Blaine lately.

This attraction was getting out of hand.

Kurt found himself admiring Blaine's expressive face as he spoke. The way his large eyes met Kurt's, before looking away, searching for the right word to bring his point across. In the sun, his skin had a nice tone, making Kurt feel even more self-conscious of how pale he must look in contrast after being indoors so much. Blaine's five o'clock shadow was showing a little. Blaine must need to shave daily to keep it under control. Kurt could skip a day, his whiskers growing in much lighter in color and thickness. He was tempted to run his fingertips over Blaine's cheek, wanting to feel the slight scratch from his whiskers. His hair was a little longer than usual, and the sun highlighted the dips and swirls of the curly texture. It looked soft and product-free. Touchable.

Sitting on another bench farther away from people, Blaine asked Kurt about the accident. He didn't mind the question, knowing that Blaine had probably been curious about it for a while.

Taking off his sunglasses, Kurt toyed with them as he thought back.

"I don't remember the actual accident, which is probably a good thing. They say I broke my leg and hit my head... that's what caused the coma. My leg feels a bit sore now, and there are a few scars from the broken glass, but they are pretty faded. Now I just feel weak and like my body isn't really my own." Kurt shrugged. "But it's starting to come back."

There were times, alone in bed at night, Kurt thought about that night. Adam had wanted to schedule a trip when Kurt's current run was done, but he wanted a tropical destination with lots of nightclubs and partying. They had done that type of trip before, and had a good time, but it wasn't what Kurt was in the mood for now.

His last trip had been without Adam, going to Thailand to visit Carole. It had been good to just get away to such a beautiful place, with such friendly, gentle people. He had followed Carole around in her work, helping with simple things like playing with children while their mother got medical care, or feeding an older patient who needed help. Nobody had cared that he was a famous Broadway star. He was just Kurt, Carole's boy, wearing simple, casual clothes and a floppy hat.

When she wasn't working, they ate fresh, tasty food and talked for hours. They told stories about his Dad, laughing together, often wiping tears away. She was the one person on the planet that loved and missed his Dad as much as he did. By the end of the trip, he felt closer to Carole than ever before, and more at peace.

To go on the trip Adam wanted would have been something Kurt would have enjoyed before, but it didn't have any appeal now. Maybe Kurt was being boring lately, not wanting to party and go to huge concerts. He felt a bit guilty, seeing the disappointment in Adam's expression. He didn't feel like he was still grieving his father, but maybe he had just matured and moved on. The early years with Adam, full of running around everywhere together, had been fun and new then. Kurt was feeling a little of the old 'been there, done that' to any of Adam's suggestions.

He suggested they go somewhere pretty and quiet. Where they could enjoy each other's company. Sleep in, read books in hammocks, walk along a beach. Go hiking and swimming in the ocean. Eat fresh seafood and drink a bit too much. Reconnect with each other. See if there was still something between them, or if they were done.

They had argued, getting so bad that Kurt just had to leave, get some space. He had been wiping tears that streamed down his face as he drove, not concentrating enough on the road. It wasn't so much about the stupid argument, but about the feeling that they had changed, their relationship had changed, and there wasn't a way to fix it. Kurt simply wasn't the same guy he was a year ago. True realization that it was over, really over, was what kept the tears flowing.

Kurt started a bit when he felt Blaine's arm settling over his shoulders, his body shifting closer. It was a comforting gesture, and Kurt relaxed against him, letting his cheek rest against Blaine's shoulder. It was just a friendly gesture, but Kurt liked the closeness. It was nice feeling the warmth of Blaine's body against his, smelling his woodsy cologne. He also liked that Blaine knew it what was Kurt needed, feeling sad thinking about the past.

It was also the first time he had been this close to Blaine, for this long. He felt very aware of him, this attractive, caring man. Was it just loneliness and feeling a bit adrift in his life, contributing to making him feel more for Blaine maybe? Just wanting to grab Blaine, pull him closer, and kiss him hard. Or just normal sexual urges, now waking up from having Blaine around so much? He liked Blaine as a friend, for sure. Was there more? On his side, or Blaine's?

They eventually moved apart and talked about other things, but Kurt knew the highlight of the day had been sitting close like that.

...

It's just a hug. Just a hug. A friendly hug...

Kurt chanted the words in his head, all the while savouring the feeling of being wrapped up in Blaine's strong arms. Fuck...he smells so fantastic ... Kurt nuzzled in closer, burying his face against Blaine's neck, breathing him in. Mmmmm, so warm. This feels so good.

Blaine's hands were running up and down Kurt's back, probably in an attempt to soothe and comfort him, but they were having the opposite effect. He had shown Blaine pictures from his past, and talked about how Kurt could announce that he was out of the coma, and no longer able to sing. Blaine was giving him a hug, being a good friend.

Pulling back a little, he looked over Blaine's face, taking in his large dark eyes and his full lips, and just had to know how they felt. Leaning forward, he lightly touched his lips to Blaine's. Just one little kiss... Like he'd been wanting to for so long.

Blaine stilled, hardly daring to breathe. He looked at Kurt's big eyes, and Kurt could see the questioning look in them.

Cupping Blaine's face, Kurt kissed him again, harder, wanting a real kiss. Wanting to feel those full lips, hot breath mingling, wanting to see if it was as good as he was imaged it would be. Blaine gasped, sinking into the kiss. Kurt couldn't resist going for more, just wanting more.

Pushing on his shoulder, Kurt urged Blaine to lie back on the sofa, until they were lying flat, exchanging kiss after kiss. They were hot, intense, perfect. Blaine's hands were on Kurt's back, pulling him in closer, their chests pressed together.

Feeling Blaine's hands on his back, Kurt wanted more, everything. Wanted to pull Blaine's shirt off and bury his face in his neck, kissing all over his skin. Tasting it, smelling him, just sinking into every sensation. Wanting to feel alive, surrounded by this vibrant man, nothing but touching and tasting, nothing but sex.

Kurt suddenly knew it was too much, too fast. Knew he couldn't take advantage of Blaine, let things get out of hand like this. This was his friend. Stop, stop...

As quick as it started, it stopped. Kurt pulled back, sitting up on the sofa, running his hand over his face. It had been so hard, pulling away from Blaine's arms, backing away from his tempting mouth.

Blaine sat up beside him, looking over at Kurt, confused. He looked a bit rumpled, his lips a bit swollen and far, far too close. Too good.

Kurt just gave Blaine an apologetic look, patted his shoulder, and left, quickly escaping to his bedroom and shutting the door.

Jumping in the bed, Kurt buried his face into the pillow. Whoa, that had got out of hand fast.

Rolling onto his back, Kurt stared up at the ceiling, looking at the situation. How did he really feel about Blaine? They were friends, for sure, and there was some attraction there. And from how hot those kisses had just been, there was chemistry there too.

But was there more to it, for either of them, than that? Was it just two single men, together and alone a lot...libidos taking over because there was an opportunity? Kurt sighed, hoping it wasn't just that. Sex was very tempting, but he'd never been very happy in the long run when he'd given into the impulse and tried to have casual sex. He just wasn't that kind of guy.

Sighing, Kurt also pondered the possibility that Blaine had been kissing him back because of another reason. He admitted to being a fan, and could have been swept away into those old feelings. Kissing his fantasy Kurt, not the faded reality of Kurt now. He looked more like he had before, and he'd noticed Blaine looking at him more often. He hated thinking that was all it was for Blaine, but Kurt was a realist. He didn't want to start something with Blaine only to have it crash because he wasn't living up to Blaine's fantasy Kurt.

Then again, they were two adult men living together for a while. Couldn't they just have some naked fun? A bit of a fling? Friends with benefits? Just be up front and clear about their feelings, so nobody was being misled.

Kurt sighed. Truth was, he was feeling lonely and a bit lost. Blaine was kind, friendly and attractive. They liked each other, but was there really anything more to it? It would be bad to jump in bed together because of proximity.

Really, as tempting as Blaine was, it was a bad idea to get involved with anyone right now. His life was a mess and he needed to focus on getting a new career.

Tomorrow, he'd apologize to Blaine, and talk it out.

...

-A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading & be so supportive of this rewrite. This chapter and the next two are the section I revised the most. Rearranged the chapters, added some original material. I hope you like it.