“Did you ever hear about the gay penguins at this zoo?” Blaine looked over at Kurt. They were on a bench, watching the penguins walk around, jumping into the water.

Shaking his head, Kurt sat back and watched Blaine as he told the story. He liked using his hands for emphasis, a truly artistic soul.

Kurt also liked watching Blaines expressive face as he spoke. The way his large eyes met Kurts, before looking away, searching for the right word to bring his point across. In the sun, his skin had a nice tone, making Kurt feel even more self-conscious of how pale he must look in contrast after being indoors so much. His five oclock shadow was showing a little. Blaine must need to shave daily to keep it under control. Kurt could skip a day, his whiskers growing in much lighter in colour and thickness. He was tempted to run his fingertips over Blaines cheek, wanting to feel the slight scratch from his whiskers. His hair was a little longer than usual, and the sun highlighted the dips and swirls of the curly texture. It looked soft and product-free. Touchable.

It was a pretty spring day, soft breezes and flowers in bloom in the many flower beds all around the zoo. It felt good to wander slowly like this. Talking, eating ice cream, watching the animals. So much of Kurts life for over ten years had been work, work, work. He loved the work, but the pace was relentless.

Sitting on another bench farther away from people, Blaine asked Kurt about the accident.

Taking off his sunglasses, Kurt toyed with them as he thought back.

“I don't remember the actual accident, which is probably a good thing. They say I broke my leg and hit my head... that's what caused the coma. My leg feels a bit sore now, and there are a few scars from the broken glass, but they are pretty faded. Now I just feel weak and like my body isn't really my own.” Kurt shrugged. “But its starting to come back.”

There were times, alone in bed at night, Kurt thought about that night. Adam had wanted to schedule a trip when Kurts current run was done, but he wanted a tropical destination with lots of nightclubs and partying. They had done that type of trip before, and had a good time, but it wasnt what Kurt was in the mood for now.

His last trip had been without Adam, going to Thailand to visit Carole. It had been good to just get away to such a beautiful place, with such friendly, gentle people. He had followed Carole around in her work, helping with simple things like playing with children while their mother got medical care, or feeding an older patient who needed help. Nobody had cared that he was a famous Broadway star. He was just Kurt, Caroles boy, wearing simple, casual clothes and a floppy hat.

When she wasnt working, they ate fresh, tasty food and talked for hours. They told stories about his Dad, laughing together, often wiping tears away. She was the one person on the planet that loved and missed his Dad as much as he did. By the end of the trip, he felt closer to Carole than ever before, and more at peace.

To go on the trip Adam wanted would have been something Kurt would have enjoyed before, but it didnt have any appeal now. Maybe Kurt was being boring lately, not wanting to party and go to huge concerts. He felt a bit guilty, seeing the disappointment in Adams expression. He didnt feel like he was still grieving, but maybe he had just matured and moved on. The early years with Adam, full of running around everywhere together, had been fun and new then. Kurt was feeling a little of the old been there, done that to any of Adams suggestions.

He suggested they go somewhere pretty and quiet. Where they could enjoy each others company. Sleep in, read books in hammocks, walk along a beach. Go hiking and swimming in the ocean. Eat fresh seafood and drink a bit too much. Reconnect with each other. See if there was still something between them, or if they were done.

They had argued, getting so bad that Kurt just had to leave, get some space. He had been wiping tears that streamed down his face as he drove, not concentrating enough on the road. It wasnt so much about the stupid argument, but about the feeling that they had changed, their relationship had changed, and there wasnt a way to fix it. Kurt simply wasnt the same guy he was a year ago. True realization that it was over, really over, was what kept the tears flowing.

Kurt started a bit when he felt Blaines arm settling over his shoulders, his body shifting closer. It was a comforting gesture, and Kurt relaxed against him, letting his cheek rest against Blaines shoulder. It was just a friendly gesture, but Kurt liked the closeness. It was nice feeling the warmth of Blaines body against his, smelling his woodsy cologne. He also liked that Blaine knew it what was Kurt needed, feeling sad thinking about the past.

It was also the first time he had been this close to Blaine, for this long. He felt very aware of him, this attractive, caring man. Was it just loneliness and feeling a bit adrift in his life, contributing to making him feel more for Blaine maybe? Just wanting to grab Blaine, pull him closer, and kiss him hard. Or just normal sexual urges, now waking up from having Blaine around so much? He liked Blaine as a friend, for sure. Was there more? On his side, or Blaines?

They eventually moved apart and talked about other things, but Kurt knew the highlight of the day had been sitting close like that.

---

Blaine nudged his shoulder. “How do you feel about this? Looking through it all?”

Sighing, Kurt closed the scrapbook hed been showing Blaine and put it on the coffee table. “I think the next step is to go public. Make a statement or something. Although what am I supposed to say? Hey, everybody! I'm not in a coma!”

“Or you could be more dramatic. Go to some big society function and pull off a mask and watch everyone freak out.” Blaine chuckled.

Kurt did his almost silent laughter. “It would be even worse if I did that and everyone shrugged and said ‘Who the fuck is that?' If no one cared.” Hed been in Broadway long enough to see a lot of stars come and go. It was just the nature of the business.

“Well, you had an agent back then. Could you contact her and see what she recommends?” Blaine replied.

“Yeah, that's a good idea.” Kurt typed. “Although I was hoping to have more of an idea of my future." He had thought about it, and no easy answers were coming up for a future job that would cover his bills. He was interested in fashion, and could look at going into design. But he knew from working at Vogue all those years ago what went into it, and it wouldnt be quick or easy to get into. Not being able to speak made his job prospects even less, and Kurt had done many internet searches, looking at job possibilities, with nothing really grabbing his attention.

Blaine must have sensed Kurts maudlin mood, as he moved closer to Kurt, and put an arm around his shoulders. Kurt leaned into him. Blaine wrapped his other arm around Kurt, giving him a hug.

It felt good, being held by Blaine. He ran his hand slowly up and down Kurts back, in a comforting way. They had been spending so much time together lately, talking about so many things. Kurt felt really close to Blaine. His warm hand moving over his back sent shivers of awareness along Kurts skin. He could feel Blaines warm breath against his neck.

Shifting a bit closer, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine. Pulling back a little, he looked over Blaine's face, taking in his large dark eyes and his full lips, and just had to know how they felt. Leaning forward, he lightly touched his lips to Blaine's. Just to try it. Like hed been wanting to for so long.

Blaine stilled, hardly daring to breathe. He looked at Kurt's big eyes, and Kurt could see the questioning look in them.

Cupping Blaine's face, Kurt kissed him again, harder, wanting a real kiss. Wanting to feel those full lips, hot breath mingling, wanting to see if it was as good as he was imaged it would be. Blaine gasped, sinking into the kiss. Kurt couldnt resist going for more, just wanting more.

Pushing on his shoulder, Kurt urged Blaine to lie back on the sofa, until they were lying flat, exchanging kiss after kiss. They were hot, intense, perfect. Blaine's hands were on Kurt's back, pulling him in closer., their chests pressed together.

Feeling Blaines hands on his back, Kurt wanted more, everything. Wanted to pull Blaines shirt off and bury his face in his neck, kissing all over his skin. Tasting it, smelling him, just sinking into every sensation. Wanting to feel alive, surrounded by this vibrant man, nothing but touching and tasting, nothing but sex.

Kurt suddenly knew it was too much, too fast. Knew he couldnt take advantage of Blaine, let things get out of hand like this. This was his friend. Stop, stop...

As quick as it started, it stopped. Kurt pulled back, sitting up on the sofa, running his hand over his face. It had been so hard, pulling away from Blaines arms, backing away from his tempting mouth.

Blaine sat up beside him, looking over at Kurt, confused. He looked a bit rumpled, his lips a bit swollen and far, far too close. Too good.

Kurt just gave Blaine an apologetic look, patted his shoulder, and left, quickly escaping to his bedroom and shutting the door.

Jumping in the bed, Kurt buried his face into the pillow. Woah, that had got out of hand fast.

Rolling onto his back, Kurt stared up at the ceiling, looking at the situation. How did he really feel about Blaine? They were friends, for sure, and there was some attraction there. And from how hot those kisses had just been, there was chemistry there too.

But was there more to it, for either of them, than that? Was it just two single men, together and alone a lot...libidos taking over because there was an opportunity? Kurt sighed, hoping it wasnt just that. Sex was very tempting, but hed never been very happy in the long run when hed given into the impulse and tried to have casual sex. He just wasnt that kind of guy.

Sighing, Kurt also pondered the possibility that Blaine had been kissing him back because of another reason. He admitted to being a fan, and could have been swept away into those old feelings. Kissing his fantasy Kurt, not the faded reality of Kurt now. He looked more like he had before, and hed noticed Blaine looking at him more often. He hated thinking that was all it was for Blaine, but Kurt was a realist. He didnt want to start something with Blaine only to have it crash because he wasnt living up to Blaines fantasy Kurt.

Then again, they were two adult men living together for awhile. Couldnt they just have some naked fun? A bit of a fling? Friends with benefits? Just be up front and clear about their feelings, so nobody was being misled.

Kurt sighed. Truth was, he was feeling lonely and a bit lost. Blaine was kind, friendly and attractive. They liked each other, but was there really anything more to it? It would be bad to jump in bed together because of proximity.

Really, as tempting as Blaine was, it was a bad idea to get involved with anyone right now. His life was a mess and he needed to focus on getting a new career.

Tomorrow, hed apologize to Blaine, and talk it out.

---

“So, do you feel OK with her plan?” Blaine sat down and dug into his breakfast.

It had been such a strange morning already. Blaine interrupting his yoga to show him the zoo pictures online, and then talking with his old agent Melissa.

Kurt sipped his coffee, and then he shrugged. He typed a little on his tablet. “I'd rather just have my privacy, but sooner or later, it would end up in the news.” He knew there was interest in his story from the past drama. Better to just get it out there, and let it blow over.

Chuckling, Blaine sprinkled salt and pepper over his eggs. “It was kind of funny how she kept suggesting you do an interview, and you kept having to remind her that you couldn't speak. Imagine doing an interview where you played your tablet messages the whole time.”

Smiling, Kurt could see the humor in it. “Well, I could do a print interview, I guess.”

“Do you really think my name has to get out there? Can't you just leave me out of it?” Blaine looked a bit uncomfortable.

Kurt tilted his head, looking at Blaine. “What? Are you embarrassed of being associated with me?”

Blaine looked down, not speaking for a long time.

Sighing, Blaine looked back at Kurt. “No, but everyone is going to think we are a couple no matter what. I like you as a friend, Kurt. And then last night…”

Kurt's eyes widened slightly, and then he looked away, not wanting Blaine to see his expression.

Getting up, he cleared away the dishes. Blaine had cooked, so he was washing up.

But the whole time he went through the motions of washing the dishes, Blaines comments went through Kurts head. Why was Blaine so against being associated with Kurt? Was he afraid of being dragged into tabloid news, if the story of Kurt being out of the coma dragged out all the old stories of Adam and Kurts relationship? Or because he didnt want to be labelled as Kurts boyfriend in public? Kurt had assumed he was out, but maybe he wasnt. Or maybe he was dating or interested in someone else, and being linked to Kurt could screw it up.

Or did he just want a quiet fling? Some sex behind closed doors? Or maybe today, in the cold light of day, he wasnt interested in getting involved with Kurt at all.

The more Kurt thought about it, the more he thought they should just stick to being friends only. Pretty soon, Blaine would be moving out, and the temptation would be gone too.

---

-Disclaimer: I own nothing.