***

Back at his apartment, Kurt rushed right over to his closet, and dug in the back, pulling out some of his oldest clothes. Clothes he hadn't even looked at for years, but still kept for some reason. 

He sorted them into three piles, by size, and tried on a pair of pants from the largest size, but still a size smaller than what he normally wore. And they fit, easy to do up the zipper and everything. Kurt rushed over to his full-length mirror, and stared at his image, turning and looking back over his shoulder at his ass in the tighter pants. It was so weird, seeing his body in something so form fitting like this, after years of shapeless, baggy clothes.

Smiling, he slipped off the pants and daringly grabbed a pair of pants from the middle pile. He could get them on, although it was a bit of a struggle, but there was no way he would be able to do up the zipper on them. 

After texting Lucy and changing their movie time to the late movie, Kurt pulled all the clothes out of his closet, dumping them on the bed. He cranked the music, singing along as he tried everything on. There were quickly big garbage bags of clothes to donate, and a pile of clothes that were two sizes too small, and another that were one size too small. He grouped them in the back of his closet, stroking over them fondly, thinking that maybe in a month or two, he'd be wearing them as well. It was so exciting. 

The clothes remaining on the bed were all things that he could wear now. He tried on several different combinations, until he got something that wasn't as flashy as what he once wore in high school, but still miles from the dull shapeless clothes he'd worn for years. It felt so good.

***

“This is a really volcanic ensemble youre wearing, its really marvellous!” Lucy let out a long whistle, walking around Kurt.

Kurt laughed, taking in Lucy's shocked expression as she took in his pinstriped pants, black vest, white shirt and a deep red tie. And this was one of the more conservative outfits spread out on his bed. Kurt chuckled to himself, imagining the reactions he'd get out of her, wearing the other outfits to work in the upcoming days. 

Lucy looped her arm over his, pulling him into the movie theatre lobby. Pretty soon they were in their movie seats, waiting for the movie to start.

“Seriously, though… what is with the new look, Kurt?” Lucy nudged his shoulder.

Kurt sipped on his diet coke. “They are old clothes that I haven't been able to fit into for ages, actually.” 

“Really???” Lucy said in a shocked whisper, looking Kurt up and down. “I know you've been working hard on getting in shape lately. But when did you gain weight in the first place?” 

Biting his lip, Kurt took a big breath. “I guess around my junior year.”

The theatre darkened as Lucy leaned over. “Hmmmm… I sense a story there, Kurt. After the movie, we are going for drinks and a long talk.” 

***

Lucy held Kurt's hand as he talked about high school, all the bullying and how he didn't know how to handle it. He didn't mention the kiss from Karofsky.

“So, what did you do, Kurt?” 

Kurt shrugged, looking down. “There wasn't much I could do. I was the only out guy in high school. Bullying was a fact of life.”

Lucy nudged his shoulder. “Why am I sensing there's more to it than that?” 

Taking a big sip of his wine, Kurt looked over at Lucy. He'd worked with her for six years now and she'd been there when he'd broken up with Chandler. “I really started to try to avoid the worst bullies, staying out of the hallways as much as I could, dressing in more dull clothing.” 

Lucy nodded in understanding. “You tried to be invisible.” 

Nodding, Kurt looked back at Lucy. “And I ended up stress eating, gained weight, and it didn't even matter in the baggy clothes I was wearing.”

“But didn't you originally move to New York to get into a performance school?” Lucy scrunched up her face, tilting it to the side.

“Yeah, I auditioned, but didn't get in. My voice was good, but I didn't have the stage presence to really sell it. My old roommate Rachel did really well though.” 

Lucy squeezed his hand. “Well, whatever your path, I think you are doing really well at the theatre, and it seems to suit you. Are you happy? And don't just tell me you are, just because I'm kinda your boss.” 

Kurt leaned over, giving Lucy a hug. “I really do like the job. I'm working in clothing, designing, being creative. All things I really love. And you are awesome to work with, and the theatre company in general.” 

“I sense a but…” Lucy cajoled. 

“But… lately I've been seeing friends getting married and doing other things I haven't. I'm wondering what I'm missing out on. So, I took a long hard look at myself and decided that losing some weight, working on my confidence, was something I wanted to do first. It's kind of like a reclaiming of who I am, after all these years, from the bully bullshit from back then.” 

Lucy beamed at Kurt. “Well, I'm here to support you in that. I like seeing you dress in a way that feels more you. I know I dress pretty crazy, but every time I get dressed, it's a way of asserting that I am me. It says to the world that I'm an independent thinker, and you can take it or leave it.” 

Kurt admired her spirit. He wasn't there yet, himself, but she was a good mentor for him. 

"I love my work, but I dont have a lot else going on in my life." Kurt shrugged. 

"And you havent dated anyone since Chandler?" Lucy asked delicately. 

Kurt sighed, putting his hands over his face. "Well, I havent really been out there trying to meet guys anyways. So many gay men are only into hook-ups, and youve got to look perfect. My body isnt that good, and Im not that sexual."

Lucys eyebrows rose. "Really?"

Kurt shrugged. "Chandler was my first and only, and all I thought about it was Meh, whats the big fuss about?"

Lucy looked at him speculatively. "Tell me, Kurt... When Chandler kissed you, where did you feel it?" 

Kurt scrunched up his brow. "My lips. Why?"

Lucy smiled. "Oh honey. When the right guy kisses you, youll feel it in you knees. Everywhere. Youll know."

"Well, there aren't any men hanging around for me to test this out on, Lucy.” Kurt laughed. 

"Well, my darling, you have lost weight, are dressing better and have a more confident air about you than you used to. You will be getting more attention, trust me, and Ill help you deal with it, OK?" Lucy squeezed Kurt arm. "I dont want you hiding again, or running away. Well take this step by step."

"Speaking of men, can I get your opinion about something?" Kurt hesitated, but hed been thinking about this all day and needed a second view on it. 

"Of course." Lucy turned to Kurt. 

"So, I think I mentioned that my trainers name is Blaine, right? Well, hes nice, friendly, gorgeous, and waaaaay out of my league, so of course I have a silly crush on him." Kurt blushed a little, admitting this. 

Lucy squeezed his hand. "OK, the name Blaine sounds like an appliance brand, but go on."

Kurt gave a little laugh at that, and continued. "Well, for the last month, all our sessions have been in the gym. But today, he had us meet at Central Park and we did an outdoor yoga class, and then some jogging and stairs for cardio."

Lucy shrugged. "Sounds like a nice change from the gym."

Kurt nodded along. "But then he asked if I had plans right after and when I said no, he bought us sandwiches and we played chess."

"Chess?" Lucys eyebrows rose. 

"Yeah, and it turns out hes awesomely good at chess. Like national competition-level at it." Kurt gave Lucy a bewildered expression. "The whole time Im wondering what this is all about? Does he do this with all his clients? Is he just being friendly? And since I have the stupid crush on him, Im wondering about it, because it almost felt like a date, in some ways. He bought the food, and then surprised me with the Chess house setting."

Lucy nodded her head, thinking it over. "Well, you mentioned before that hes a very peppy, friendly guy so its likely just that. Youve been working hard and he probably wanted to shake up your fitness routines a little. But the chess thing doesnt really fit in."

"Plus, before, our conversations were about fitness stuff, mostly. And today, it was about personal stuff, bordering on flirty!" 

Kurt looked so bewildered that Lucy giggled, raised both hands to his face to cup his cheeks, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

"Awwww, you are so cute, Kurt. Could Blaine be interested in you, maybe?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Highly doubtful! Whenever Im working out with him, I look awful... My hair all flat and wet, my face all red, my clothes all sweaty. Plus, I dont think pale, pudgy costume designers are really his type. Hes around hot, tanned, buff guys all the time."

"And maybe its exactly because you are so much different that hes interested in knowing you better." Lucy squeezed Kurts hand, looking into his big eyes. "You put yourself down a lot, Kurt, but you are very attractive. You are smart, funny and very creative. And your skin is beautiful, so much better than those fake and bake leathery skinned men, who will end up looking ancient before their time.” 

Kurt didnt look too convinced. 

Lucy waved down at herself. "Im a short, pale girl with crazy hair. I hardly fit into the feminine ideal of a Barbie doll, all big blond hair and boobs. So, I dress the way I want and there are guys who like me for just being me."

Kurt gave Lucy a hug. He loved her spunky attitude, and promised internally to be more true to himself. Be brave and wear the clothes he wanted to wear, say what he wanted to say, and just be himself.

***

The next week went by fast. Kurt enjoyed wearing more and more daring clothes, picking colors and styles he hadnt worn in so long. Lucy gushed over it and many of his co-workers in the theatre had complimented him. Hed even noticed a few strangers looking him over when he was buying his daily coffee, and the looks seemed appreciative, positive. 

Tonight, he was trying something new and felt a little nervous. Rachel had suggested going to a bar that held an open mic night. It was Sunday night, and they both had the next day off. 

Kurt dressed extra carefully, picking a dark grey pinstriped vest, a robin-egg blue dress shirt, and black jeans. The jeans werent skin-tight, but way tighter than any pants hed worn in ages. His hair looked good, and overall, he felt that this look felt like him. Kurt now. 

He texted Rachel when he arrived, and she ran over to give him a big hug, tugging him back to their table. 

"Kurt! I cant get over how good you look!" Rachel plunked down in her chair, and taking a big sip of her margarita. She looked down at his legs. "And you are actually wearing jeans that fit properly! Amazing!"

Kurt smiled over at Rachel. "Thanks Rachel." He laughed at her enthusiasm. "So, are you going to sing tonight?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, it just an open mic for performers. Usually you get people playing their guitar or the piano, singing on their own. But it has a nice laid back vibe here on Sundays, not so meat market-ish."

They were able to talk without shouting, sipping their drinks, and listening to the various performers. Each performer would get onto the stage, do a little equipment set-up, and then play a mini-set of two or three songs. 

Currently, Rachel had a small but important part in a musical, with one solo song. Mondays were dark, so she was letting loose a little. Being so tiny, halfway through her second drink, she was giggling and being very flirty. 

"Mmmm... Imagine what hed be like in bed." Rachel whispered, not too softly, into Kurts ear. She was watching the current performer, a guy around 22 with long blond hair in a ponytail. He had an earnest, hippy vibe, and was playing an acoustic guitar with more passion than skill. 

Kurt chuckled back at Rachel, after watching the performer for a bit. "I bet all his clothes are made of hemp and his hair smells of weed."

Rachel grinned back. "And he would be too nice in bed, you know? Like always asking if you like this, or that, and if everything is OK." She shook her head. "Nope, I like a guy whos a bit more passionate, just grabs your arms and kisses you good and deep."

Kurt arched an eyebrow. "So you feel it in your knees?" He echoed Lucys phrase. 

Rachel grabbed his arm. "Yes! Exactly. Kisses you until you cant think straight... And that is just from kissing alone!" She leaned closer, looking into Kurts eyes. "And I have a theory that if hes a bad kisser, hell be an awful lover. No point taking off any clothes if you're not feeling it from their kisses."

Kurt took a sip of his cider, sighing. Chandlers kisses had always been nice, enthusiastic... But never hot. Was that just because they didn't have good sexual chemistry, or because Kurt wasn't really a sexual person? Even on his own, he hadn't gone through the horny teenage years to the extent of other guys his age. 

"Mmmmm... Now this guy isnt the type to give tentative kisses. I bet hed hold you up against a wall, pressing his whole body up close, and just kiss until you were a breathless puddle at his feet." Rachel was looking at the newest guy to get in the stage. 

Kurt smirked at his friend, liking this raunchy side that she didnt usually reveal at her potluck dinners with a bigger group of friends. 

Glancing up at the stage, he watched the guy setting up. He had his back to the audience, and Kurt thought he had a good body, wearing dark denim that hugged his ass quite well. 

He turned around, holding a guitar, sitting on a stool on the stage. "Good evening, everybody. My name is Blaine, and Im going to play a few new songs for you. Hope you like them."

Blaine smiled, and then started strumming on his acoustic guitar, and when he lifted his face to the microphone to sing, his voice was a beautiful tenor, his words sung in a simple, heartfelt way. 

"Hes good." Rachel said, her tone admiring. 

Kurt could only nod in response, too shocked to be seeing Blaine up on the stage, and performing so well. Why the hell was such a talented guy like this a personal trainer? 

But he also couldnt get over how good Blaine looked up there, like he belonged there. His eyes glowed, his expressions so intense. Kurt found him even more attractive, dressed in a long sleeved green Henley t-shirt with the jeans, and his hair in loose curls.

When he finished his set, he put his guitar in its case and left the stage. As he walked past them, Rachel reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey! That was so good!" 

Blaine stopped, smiling down at the tipsy brunette clutching his arm. "Ah, thanks. Im glad you liked it."

His eyes flicked over to Kurt and his smile froze in place. He blinked a few times. "Kurt?"

Kurt swallowed hard, as Blaine looked even better this close than he had on stage. "Ah, yeah. Hey Blaine, I didnt know you were into music. That was great!"

Blaine eased back into his normal smile. "Thanks, man." 

Rachels head whipped back and forth. "You two know each other! Blaine, grab a chair and sit down! Have a drink!"

Kurt gave Rachel a look, which she totally ignored, and she jumped up to grab another chair from a nearby table for Blaine. 

Blaine sat down, tucking his guitar into the corner to be out of the way. "Yeah, Kurt has been working out at my gym for the last month or so. Isnt he doing great?"

"Blaine is my personal trainer, Rachel." Kurt clarified. 

Rachel nodded, smiling at Blaine, her look flirtatious. "Wow! A personal trainer and such a good musician too. Is there anything you cant do?" 

Blaine smiled back. "Im an awful cook. I can burn water, as the old saying goes."

Rachel laid a light hand on his arm, leaning in. "But your girlfriend probably can, so you get by." 

Kurt smiled to himself at Rachels obvious question and her flirting. 

Blaine shook his head. "Well, my last boyfriend was OK at it, but Ive had to fend for myself for a while now."

Even tipsy Rachel got the hint, and lifted her hand off his arm. Her flirty tone was toned down when she asked him about his music. Kurt sat back and followed their conversation. It was interesting seeing Blaine in a regular social setting, talking about his interests, instead of how he was in personal trainer mode. 

But as he and Rachel were talking, Kurt noticed Blaine looking over at him occasionally. He could tell Blaine was looking at his hair and clothing, so different from how he looked in the gym. Kurt looked down at the table, feeling a little shy but also pleased. 

Getting up, Kurt excused himself to go to the washroom. Rachel was still monopolizing poor Blaine with her conversation. 

When he returned a few minutes later, Blaine and his guitar were gone. 

"Blaine had to go, Kurt, but he said to tell you goodbye." Rachel smiled as Kurt sat back down. 

"Oh, OK." He felt a little disappointed that they didnt get a chance to really talk, thanks to Rachel the chatterbox.

She leaned over, squeezing Kurts arm. "But I invited him over to the potluck tomorrow! So well see him more then!"

"Rachel! I cant believe you did that! Hes just my personal trainer. You probably made it so hed feel uncomfortable if he said no." Kurt shook his head. 

Rachel shook her slowly. "I saw the way he was sneaking glances at you, Kurt. And the way he watched as you walked over to the washroom. He was seriously checking out your ass!"

Kurt practically did a spit take. "Oh, bullshit, Rachel! If he was looking at me at all, it was probably as my trainer. And he was thinking how many bloody burpees hes going to get me to do to fix my problem areas."

"Its not bullshit, Kurt. After watching you, he kind of swallowed hard, had a weird look on his face, and next thing I know he was jumping up and grabbing his guitar to go. But I got him to agree to come to the potluck before he ran off." Rachel nodded, looking very proud of herself. 

"So full of shit, Rachel." Kurt shook his head, finishing his drink. "Shall we get going too?"

Rachel stood up, grabbing her coat. "Well, just wear those jeans tomorrow night, thats all Im saying. Blaine seems to like them."

Kurt rolled his eyes. Great, now Rachel was being a matchmaker. 

When he got home, it wasnt that late. He pulled out his phone. 

Hey Blaine. Sorry about my drunk friend Rachel tonight. –K
No worries. Shes very cute. –B
About the potluck... You dont have to come, if you dont want to. I know she probably put you on the spot about it. –K
No, Im looking forward to it. See you tomorrow. –B

***

Disclaimer: I own nothing.