They can't touch us or what we have
Deewani
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They can't touch us or what we have: Evidence part A


M - Words: 4,829 - Last Updated: Mar 02, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 7/? - Created: Feb 15, 2012 - Updated: Mar 02, 2012
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Kurt was looking through a large window in his one person room in Dalton. He wasn't rooming with anyone, because he had transferred in the middle of a semester. To be honest – he was glad. Having been the only child for most of his life – he had never gotten used to sharing anything. Kurt had been at Dalton for two months now… but he still felt strange. It wasn't that Dalton was bad… It was just… different. Different in a way he was nearly sure that he would never really get used to. It wasn't his world. His world was all about being himself and being noticed and being different… and here? At Dalton everything was about 'blending in'. And for him 'blending in' was never an option. Yes, he came to Dalton by himself, no one forced him. And don't get him wrong… he LOVED Dalton. Loved that complete strangers offered him help with things and the fact that everyone seemed to like him… But it wasn't his world. It was a world for rich kids raised in rich families. He wasn't one of them. Half orphan, son of a mechanic – he was far from the perfect families which kids in Dalton were from… because these kids just had to be from perfect families, right? With money and power… what could possibly go wrong?

"Have you seen Blaine?" He looked behind and saw familiar figure.
"Wes" he though. Oh yes, there was something else at Dalton that he loved more than Dalton itself. Something that he was sure he would always have. Of course, he still missed New Directions, they were his 'family'. If it wasn't for them – he wasn't sure if he would be still alive. They protected him in some twisted way which sometimes ended up backfiring, but still he could count on them… In most situations… But he remembered how long it took to make them a family, how they were enemies for many, many months… And with the Warblers? They accepted him immediately. Kurt told himself that it was because they loved Blaine and he and Blaine were practically inseparable… But in the depths of his heart he just KNEW that they liked him because they liked HIM. Not him because of Blaine – but HIM.

"No… Not since yesterday to be honest" said Kurt "Is there something wrong?" he asked after seeing the expression on Wes's face. He looked… concerned.

"It's unusual for him." Wes looked at his wristwatch "He was supposed to meet us fifteen minutes ago."

"It's only fifteen minutes." Kurt laughed and came closer to him "I know that at Dalton everyone seems to be tied to their watches and before I wore it – I thought that maybe this blazer turned you into some kind of time obsessed robots… But now I know the truth, you are just bunch of freaks." He blinked at Wes friendlily. Kurt noticed that Wes just looked at him with blank eyes. He didn't frown, didn't threatened to use his gavel… Just stared.
"It's bad" thought Kurt. "Like – really bad"

"I guess he didn't tell you…" Wes sighed heavily "Today it's his aunt's birthday. We are going to visit her."

"Oh…" Kurt fought the urge to feel hurt. Blaine had known him a few months, Wevid had been his best friends for over a year now… and from what Blaine said once – Kurt was nearly sure that Blaine and Wes had grown up together. He shouldn't feel hurt, he knew that… He just wanted to be a huge part of Blaine's life. He had never met anyone like Blaine; he needed him.

"It's really personal." Wes smiled at him reassuringly and put a hand on his shoulder. "And huuuuge history is attached to it. So don't feel bad because he didn't tell you. You are still our D'Artagnan."

"I am?" Kurt opened his eyes wide. Yes, he was… they had told him one day that he was one of them, one of THE GREAT DALTON TRIO, now THE GREAT DALTON QUARTET, but he never thought that they treated this thing that serious. He thought that it was just some kind of a joke to make him feel better. Apparently…

"Yes, you are." Wes smiled friendlily "And we take this darn thing really seriously. You are our brother, our comrade." He punched Kurt lightly in the shoulder.

"Thanks…" Kurt smiled, but he fought the urge to cry. He was really touched. Touched because they barely knew him, yet they decided that he was one of them. Yes, Kurt knew what he REALLY loved at Dalton… Wes, David… and Blaine. Two of them maybe seemed to have sticks stuck up in their asses and the third seemed to be some kind of always composed robot, but if someone got to know them, if someone SAW them, not only the fact that two of them were on the council and the third was their main soloist – he would fall in love with them almost immediately.

"It's O.K. Snuggle time?" he laughed.

"Snuggle time," giggled Kurt and hugged Wes.

"I want to snuggle too," Kurt heard a voice say behind him.

"There you are!" Wes loosened up his hug and turned to Blaine "I was worried. You are never late…"

"I was thinking…" Blaine sighed heavily. Kurt looked at him. He looked really bad. Red-rimmed eyes with purple bags under them and pale skin… He was fine day the before, and now…

"About what I told you?" asked Wes. Blaine nodded "We will wait in our room. Come for us when you are ready". He came past Kurt, came to Blaine and hugged him quickly and then left the room, closing the door behind him.

"What was that about?" asked Kurt. He came closer to Blaine. He really looked like he needed to snuggle.

"He…" Blaine sighed and came to the bed, sitting there and patting place near him with his hand "Come – sit" Kurt followed his orders and looked at him with anticipation "He thinks I should talk to you… And he is right. I'm telling you that you are my best friend but till now – only you are talking. I know about your mom and dad and everyone who is important to you… But you really don't know a darn thing about me. So I want… will you listen to me?" Blaine looked at him with hope in his eyes.

"Of course I will." Kurt smiled at him reassuringly. "Maybe I will see something past the composed robot." He punched Blaine in the arm in a friendly gesture.

"Yeah…" Blaine smirked. "I don't like to show this weak part of me and usually I manage to suppress it or even forget about it… But today is just very… painful day for me."

"Hey, it's O.K. to be sad sometimes." Kurt took Blaine's hand into his and squeezed it lightly. "And showing it doesn't make you weak… it makes you human."

"Every year on this particular day… I remember how important my aunt is to me, how she always was…" continued Blaine like he was never interrupted. "The thing is that my auntie… No… I will tell you from the beginning, O.K?" Kurt nodded.

"Good. It can be a lot, you're still O.K. with it?" Kurt nodded again.

"Good… So… I am really rich, as you probably assumed… But the truth is – I'm one of the richest kids at Dalton. Well… my parents are."

"I… I would never think it… I mean, you don't seem to…"

"It's O.K." Blaine smiled lightly. "I don't really care about our wealth… I hate it to be honest." He looked down at their linked hands, refusing to look Kurt in the eye.

"You want me to just listen?" asked Kurt quietly.

"Yes… If it's O.K."

"If it's simpler for you this way… I am here to listen." He squeezed Blaine's hand.

"My father is from a really wealthy family and he is also a really well known lawyer so his wealth is increasing with every year… My mom… Well – my mom is a simple woman from a small town. At least – she was. My father was told to marry some wealthy girl, but he was in his rebellion phase and decided that he would marry some stupid, poor girl and she would be quiet and let him do everything and just sit at home. It turned out that my mother was not that stupid as my father thought. She was playing stupid just to marry him. They really don't love each other, but they both love money. Yes, my mother is quiet most of the time and lets my father do everything that he wants… even sleep with prostitutes under our roof." He shrugged visibly "But she also loves to be wealthy. She spends most of the time traveling or going to the spa or shopping…My father is almost always at work… And me? They… they never wanted me." Kurt gasped "They even told me that I was a mistake. I was their wedding night mistake… Condom cracked… and here I am."

Kurt fought the urge to say something. How could anyone say such things to their child? That he is just a mistake? That he is alive because a condom cracked? Were they even human?

" After their wedding night – they never slept together. They didn't want to repeat their mistake… But you know, the accident happened, my mother was pregnant… and I was born. You know that for few years I thought that my nannies were my parents? They never took care of me when I was a baby . I'm pretty sure that I saw them for the first time when I was five. And even after that – my toys were my 'parents'. They were always buying me everything what I wanted… or at least giving the nannies money to buy it for me. I was really… lonely. My nannies were always teaching me how I was supposed to behave and I even had a teacher to teach me good manners, so you can say that I'm well-brought-up , but not because of my parents. When I was older, about seven – my nannies stopped coming to look after me. And I was left alone in a big house with our household. Most of my childhood I spent in my house. My parents told the nannies that they didn't want me to play with other children… so I always played alone. Till I went to kindergarten when I was five and met Wes, who is also from a really wealthy family so my parents weren't really mad about this friendship, but that's a different story. I lost even him when I was ten and we moved to Westerville. I was a quiet kid, really suppressed and really… depressed, but I didn't know back then what depression mean. But one day – it just attacked me. Kids were mocking at me in school because I was always the smallest and the thinnest kid and I wasn't really good in interacting with other people. My parents sent me to public school, hoping that no one would know whose kid I was," he smirked. "I was twelve when I started to have this these thoughts that I was not important, that I shouldn't even live… I almost stopped eating and sleeping. One day I got sick because of it. I was rushed to the E.R. unconscious, barely alive. My household found me three hours after I lost consciousness, lying on the floor in a bathroom. It was a really close call." Blaine sighed heavily "I'm probably freaking you out."

"No…" said Kurt quietly, putting his hand under Blaine's chin and forcing him to look at him. Blaine looked him in the eye. Both their eyes were wet with tears. "I'm sorry, that's all." He squeezed Blaine's hand. "I'm sorry because I was always so blind that I thought that your life was a dream, except the bullying thing of course."

"Money can't buy you love and happiness…" Blaine swallowed hard, trying to put down his head again.

"I know it now, and I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me?" asked Kurt hopefully.

"Of course" Blaine smiled a little and hugged Kurt. "Of course I forgive you." He was still hugging him. "You are my D'Artagnan, never forget it… I know that you may think that it's not true, because we've know you a really short period of time… But Wes, David, and I… we love you… as a brother."

"Yeah… I love you too… as a brother," added Kurt quickly, trying to suppress thought that he started to love Blaine definitely not in a brotherly way… "You are still hugging me," added Kurt after a moment.

"Sorry" giggled Blaine, still not loosening his grip. "I really like to snuggle. My parents never hugged or touched me. Now when people want to touch or hug me… I can't get enough."

"It's OK." Kurt patted him on the back. "I don't have a problem with you touching me… You're just suffocating me."

"Sorry," giggled Blaine uncomfortably, loosening his grip a little bit. "Can I stay like this for a moment? I need it."

"O.K." Kurt patted him again. "I can breathe again, so you can… I just want to ask you one question before you continue your story… Can I?"

"Yeah…" said Blaine after a moment of hesitation. "But I think that I know what you want to ask me… If I'm still depressed."

"Yes…"

"No, I'm not. I'm fine now. I'm sad sometimes, but everybody is. Dalton cured me. Wevid and other Warblers saved me. I still have issues with suppressing my feelings and acting around people and have a 'knight in shining amour' complex." They both giggled. "But I'm O.K."

"I'm happy to hear it," said Kurt, starting to rub comforting circles on Blaine's back with his hand. "I'm really happy… You're a wonderful guy, you know that ?"

"Yeah, I know," laughed Blaine. "But can I tell you the rest? Because I really want to tell it and still have time to visit my auntie."

"Of course. I'm listening, just talk… And you can still snuggle you if you want," he added with smile.

"I want," smiled Blaine. "I finished when I had to be taken to hospital, right?" Kurt murmured in agreement. "I was really sick, but I don't want to tell you any medical details… What is important is the fact that my auntie Molly was nurse in the E.R. She recognized me, even though she had never seen me before … Because she never saw me. No one from the family saw me. My parents lied to their families that I had a sickness which made me a prisoner in my own house because sunlight could kill me. If someone still wanted to see me – they lied that I also had problems with my immune system and exposure to germs could kill me, so I couldn't meet with a lot of people… And that's how I lived, an embarrassing secret. But my aunt, my father's little sister, recognized me, because I look really similar to my father when he was a kid… Well – except my Asian features, but they're not really noticeable."

"Wait, what?" Kurt pushed him a little and looked at his face carefully. "You're an ASIAN?"

"Half," laughed Blaine, used to people being surprised "My mother is Filipino, so I'm a half Asian. If you look carefully you can see the shape of eyes or skin tone… But I know that I don't look really 'Asian.'"

"I thought that maybe you had some Italian in you, I would never have thought about Asian." Kurt put a finger on Blaine's face, near his eyes. "But I must say that you're right," his finger carefully traced the shape of Blaine's eye, "there is something slightly Asian in your eye shape". His finger suddenly stopped, he looked deep into Blaine's eyes "I'M SORRY!" he screamed taking his hands off Blaine. "I don't know what happened to me… O.K. I know, you know that you're extremely good looking, right?" he felt that he was blushing and turned towards the window, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"It's O.K." Blaine squeezed his hand. "I hear that a lot that I'm good looking… You don't have to be embarrassed… To be honest… I think that you're really good looking too."

Kurt faced him and saw his delicate smile. He wasn't lying, Kurt could tell that. Blaine really thought that he was good looking, even when Kurt didn't see anything even slightly attractive in himself.

"So I think that Wes is our ugly duckling joked Kurt "Because David is extremely good looking too."

"Yes, he is" smiled Blaine "And Wes is not so bad, he is quite good looking too… When he has a different haircut. This one makes him look ugly"

"I believe you," smirked Kurt.

"But yes, as I said – I'm a half Asian… and I know that I don't really look like an Asian." Blaine sighed heavily. "But can I continue?"

"Yes… sorry for the distraction." Kurt smiled shyly.

"It's O.K. You're forgiven." Blaine squeezed his hand "As I said, my aunt recognized me. But she didn't tell me who she was . Not immediately. She just visited me in the hospital… Well – to be honest – she sat with me all the time, watching me, trying to persuade me to talk, sitting with me when they called psychiatrist and taking instructions from him how to take care of me…My parents showed at the hospital after a week, so she had a plenty of time to just get to know me. And to tell me who she was and explain to me why I didn't know her. My parents weren't really happy when they saw her in my room, they tried to think quickly about a new lie… But she told them that only if they let her visit me everyday and let me sometimes to stay with her for a few days – she wouldn't tell anyone about their years of lying and neglecting. So my parents agreed to her terms and she quickly became for me someone worth much more than my own parents. She was my friend, my parent, my everyone and everything. She went with me to the psychiatrist and when the doctor decided that I should have meds – she bought them for me . When I get got a little bit better when I was thirteen – I started to go with my parents to some business meetings and even family parties… I just refused to stay at home anymore, refused to be a secret… And my aunt supported me. She was always supporting me… My parents, at one of these meetings, thought about a new plan to be even more wealthy – arrange my wedding with the daughter of some wealthy businessman. Every of these girls was looking at me with lust in their eyes; my parents thought about so many potential matches! I had known who I was since I was eleven. Understood it clearly when I was twelve. And after one of these meetings, after hearing about another beautiful, wonderful girl – I told my parents that I'm gay. They started laughing. They weren't even angry at me. They just thought that was stubborn. Till today they haven't accepted it."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's O.K. I really got used to it. It is painful just sometimes, not everyday. I can even tell them that I'm gay and tell them about guys even gay sex… They always just laugh. But now they have a different argument about me not really being gay – especially my dad. That maybe I'm not stubborn, that maybe I'm gay, but it's not permanent. That it's just a phrase." Blaine clenched his fist angrily. "So my father is trying to 'bond' with me. He thinks that I think that I'm gay because I was looked after only by women when I was kid. And he takes me to all these 'manly' exercises and he still tells me about girls and tires to persuade me to go on dates with some of them and has all these arguments like 'you just need a good girl fuck'. He even sent a prostitute to my room once. He thought that I should lose my virginity with her."

"WHAT?" screamed Kurt, standing up angrily. "Is he out of his freaking mind? He wants his GAY son to lose his virginity with a FEMALE and even a PROSTITUTE? WHAT THE FUCK?"

"It's O.K." Blaine laughed, seeing Kurt's reaction. "Don't get so angry. I'm not angry anymore… well, most of the time. You can really get used to it… Beside – I don't see them a lot. Now that I room in Dalton… I see them only on holidays, sometimes I even spend holidays alone so it's really not that bad."

"Wait." Kurt looked at him, surprised. "You spend holidays alone? What about your aunt? Did she refuse to see you when you told her that you're gay?"

"No…" Blaine sighed heavily "Just listen to me and in a moment I'll reach the point why I don't spend holidays with her. O.K?"

"O.K." Kurt sat near him and put his hand on Blaine's knee, almost sure that the next part of the story was the most painful one.

"After I came out – my aunt was wonderful. I'm almost sure that I can compare her to your dad. She told me that she had known since the day she met me. After every argument with my parents I drove to her just to cry on her shoulder and scream from frustration, 'Why my parents can't accept and understand who I am?' She was always telling me things like I can't change who I am and shouldn't even try. That it's their job. And to her being gay was just wonderful. But there was also something really bad that came from the fact that I came out…"

"Bullying," said Kurt quietly.

"Bullying," agreed Blaine. "I was never heavily bullied… but for a kid with depression all these screams of 'fag', 'queer' and 'cock-sucker' were like I was being stabbed with a knife every single time. But I refused to be a victim, refused to run away… Till one day I had to run. They bullied me in a very physical way… I don't want to talk about it right now… But after this incident – my aunt discovered that I was bullied. Because I was always lying to her that in my house it was still a crappy situation but school was good… I wanted to be strong, you know? Fight for myself like I was never fighting. Show the world that I'm NOT an embarrassing secret and NOTHING about me should be that . But after this incident… I just couldn't take it anymore. And my aunt couldn't take it either . She found Dalton, she paid my tuition a year and a half ago… And I came here. Simple as that…"

"And your parents? They didn't have any objections?"

"They didn't have a right to say anything. And even now they don't have a right to say anything. My aunt paid in advance for two years… And my father will pay this time for another year. At least that's what I heard him promising her…" Blaine said sadly. He wasn't sure if his dad would pay for another year. He hoped so. Dalton was his only safe place…

"I'm sure everything will be all right." Kurt smiled at Blaine reassuringly.

"I hope so…" said Blaine sadly, "because I can't depend on my aunt anymore. She can't pay for me for another year…"

"She lost her job or something?" asked Kurt with hope in his voice. He hoped that it was something as trivial, in some ways of course, as loosing a job… But after reading the look on Blaine's face, the dark shadow which he could clearly see in his eyes – he just knew that it was something much, much worst.

" Worse…" said Blaine sadly, feeling that his eyes are filling with tears again. "One day, three months after I transferred to Dalton… I think that's the only reason that I'm still…" he took a deep breath "I mean Dalton and my friends they…" Kurt squeezed his knee like he wanted to send an 'I'm here' signal. "She was driving to visit me. And you shouldn't worry because I know that it's not my…" he closed his eyes and felt a tear sliding down his cheek "But her tire get busted… She lost control… Her car…" he swallowed loudly. "Her car tumbled over a few times and stopped on a big tree…"

Kurt, after listening these words, hugged his friend tightly. His own tears started to fall quickly, he had to fight with himself because he wanted to sob, he really wanted to sob. But he couldn't. He had to be there for his friend. It was his time. His time to be in despair, his time to sob and wine. He couldn't steal this time from him.

"Her brain is damaged," said Blaine quietly after a moment of sobbing. "She is dead, the doctors clearly said it. Her brain is dead." Kurt made reassuring circles on his back. "Her body is still alive, but just because she is connected to a machine. Without it – she is dead completely. My dad… My dad refused to 'pull the plug'. He feels guilty. He still believes that one day she will wake up, that she is 'just' in coma. But I know that she is dead. I visit her in the hospital every year when it's her birthday… But visiting her I always feel like I'm visiting her grave. And I just KNOW that it's not my aunt anymore. That she is tortured, that my dad refused to let her go, forced her spirit to stay in a dead body… HE is TORTURING my AUNTIE, my auntie who was everything to me, who made me the person I am right now. And she doesn't deserve it. That's why I visit her only once a year. Every time I see her – I must fight the urge to 'pull the plug' myself. But I can't do it. It would be considered murder. He is the only person that can do it legally, because my grandparents have been dead for years now and she never had a husband. I just want to free her, is that too much to ask?"


##########################################################

"That day he came with us to the hospital to visit her," continued David. "And since that day – he went with the three of us every year."

"We still continue this tradition," added Wes.

"So Blaine's aunt is still…" Rachel looked at them with tears in her eyes

"Yes…" said David quietly. "She is still lying in the hospital, connected to this freaking machine… Almost eleven years now. Doctors say that she can 'live' another ten because her body is young and strong… She was as old as we are now when she had the accident. But there is no hope for her, she will never wake up."

"But I'm still not sure what you meant by telling me that you would have to 'pull the plug' for Blaine. Why you?" Rachel addressed Wes.

"After we came back from hospital," Wes sighed deeply, "we had a long and really depressing conversation. We talked almost the whole night. There were tears and even screams… It was really bad."

"Discussion about life and death," continued David. "We were talking about death of our loved ones… and our future deaths, about car accidents… just about everything connected to dying or ending up in the situation in which Blain's aunt ended up."

"So at the end of this conversation," Wes took the next part, "we decided that we don't want to have life like that. That if something like it happened and there was no chance that we would live – we would free each other. We wouldn't let each other suffer like that. We even filled out some papers so that it would be legal. That there would be no chance that someone would interrupt us and not let us to 'pull the plug.'"

"The decision was that I would pull Kurt's plug, Wes – Blaine's, Kurt – Wes's and Blaine mine," finished David.

"So they freed him before you could do that…?" asked Rachel with a lyrical voice.

"Yes, they did…" Wes stood up quickly and ran through the door. He heard David's voice saying calmly that they should leave him alone. He stormed to their bedroom and stood in front of a large photograph which was handing on the wall opposite to their beds. There were four of them in photograph. So happy, so… alive. He put his hand on the photo, touching Blaine's face gently. "You are free my friend. No more sadness, no more pain, no more anger, no more hate. You are free my friend… Not everyone is so lucky." He sighed heavily, sat on the floor and watched with blank eyes dust dancing on the air in warm morning light…

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