Coasting

(5 years ago)

“That roller coaster?” Kurt asked pointing at the large coaster that peaked high in the sky with a sharp drop after it. Blaine laughed nervously and looked at the cart of guests that were being pulled to the top of the coaster.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” he said, palms sweating as he stepped to the end of the line for the ride as Kurt hesitantly followed behind him.

“Why?” Kurt asked in a shaky voice once he saw the coaster drop and hurl through the tracks accompanied by a crowd of screams.

“Why not?” Blaine answered. It seemed to always be the answered. He enjoyed the simple things and wanted to try everything. What could be more thrilling than going against your fears? Blaine bumped his shoulder into Kurt’s playfully and followed the line to the roller coaster.

“Aren’t you scared?” Kurt asked as the piled into the coaster. They both buckled in but Kurt kept his gaze on Blaine for the answer.

“N-no,” Blaine stuttered.

“Yes you are! I knew it, you scaredy pants! You’re shaking like a leaf, no wonder your palms are so sweaty, you-,” Kurt let out a blood curdling scream as the cart moved up the steep tracks.

Blaine laughed though his heart was practically jolting out of his chest when he looked at Kurt’s pale and flawless face with his eyebrows tweaked up in nervousness, “Says you”.

“Shut up,” Kurt mumbled, grabbing a hold of the metal bars connected to the seat. Blaine shook his head and lifted his arms into the air, “No you’re not!” Kurt protested but only received a cheeky grin by the other boy. The coaster rolled over the peak slowly, then clicked and let go of the cart, sending it whizzing down the tracks, shrieks and screams filling the autumn night, their bodies lifting from the cart, Blaine’s hands still lingering in the air. As the cart followed the winding paths of loops and hills, Kurt put one hand up the air, the other gripping the metal pole. With a glance at Blaine, he lifted both hands up and screamed with Blaine as they flew through the tracks.

---

“Dad?” Blaine sat back at the other side of the booth with a bright smile planted on his cheeks.

The strong smell of sweet coffee and croissants clinging to the air of the small shop as his father looked at him with empty eyes, “I know what you’re going to say,” he started. Blaine quirked an eyebrow up but remained quiet. “It was some sort of misunderstanding, wasn’t it?” he said coldly. Blaine nodded biting his lip to try to block the smile that wanted to sneak its way back to his face. “I’m telling you that you’re making a mistake,” he continued, “What if he kisses someone else, or cheats on you or-,”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Blaine interrupted.

“Yes I do!” his father yelled, tuning heads throughout the quiet shop of Lima Bean. “You could end up heartbroken-,”

“Why do you care? You never cared about my being gay before so why do you care now?” Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He never planned on making a scene, but somehow it’s the only way to get through his father’s head. He also never planned on saying that. The words happened to tumble out of his mouth without warning. A part of him was sorry, but the other was relieved.

“Because,” his father shook his head, “because I’m afraid that if you leave, you’ll never come back”.

Blaine blinked at him in shock. What was he supposed to say to that and not look like an asshole? “Dad,” he began twisting a napkin in his hands. He honestly contemplated the idea of leaving the shop in a fight just to get out all the rest of his emotions towards his father or just tried to make amends. “If you really loved me, you would have supported me. And if you really love me now, you’ll let me go”.

His father dropped his head and sighed then looked up at Blaine, his eyes misty but the face laid stern. “This is what you want?” he asked. Blaine nodded in reply waiting patiently for his father to come up with an answer. This usually took longer than needed, his father making every excuse to drag on the next words. He’d tilt his head, take another bite or sip, read another text, fidget with his hands, and stare out the window. “Just promise me that you’ll visit for Christmas. Your mother is going crazy at home.”

The other man stared at him for a moment before breaking into a chuckle in relief watching his father standing from the table and taking out his keys. “You don’t know how much this means to me, Dad” he smiled earnestly.

His father looked down at his son as if it would be the last time he would be able to see him. He then pushed the keys in Blaine’s hands, “Well, what are you waiting for?”

---

Kurt paced in the living room of the hotel room. His eyes kept drifting to the wooden door as if expecting someone to walk in. But he knew that nobody would. Quinn had plans. He asked Blaine not to be there. And Sebastian was gone forever. It was only Kurt. After long thoughts, he plucked out his phone and quickly sent a text.

He doesn’t know, does he? – Kurt

A few more paces, a few more twists in his stomach. He kept freezing his thumb over the button to call Blaine. He’d then shake his head and continue pacing.

Well, have you heard from him? – Quinn

No – Kurt

News travels fast – Quinn

God. News travels fast. He’ll know. He knows. He’ll see Kurt as some sort of who-

Before you start whining through text, quit being a pansy and TALK TO HIM – Quinn

Kurt stopped pacing to glance at the door, and then looked at his phone. It wasn’t right to call about something like this. He pushed his phone on his pocket, snatched the keys from the counter, and then he slipped out of the room. If he was going to give Blaine a good explanation, he was going to do it right.

Fine. Then continue the plan we had. Let’s make this happen - Kurt

---

Blaine’s hands tightened on the wheel as he pulled out of the parking lot of Lima Bean. His hands wandered to the radio and flipped through the stations until it stopped at a very familiar song. It reminded him of his father. He remembered the nights as a child where he would have nightmares and his father would rush to soothe him.

“Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,

“Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

“Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

“Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,”

The days when it would get rough, his father was always there. He used to always be unconditionally supportive, but once dreams became more unrealistic, the worry struck and then he pushed the safer future down his throat. Business can do that to a person. But right then, his father let him go.

“Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,”

Maybe it was something he secretly wanted to do, but was scared. Well now, his father proved that he can change. Maybe not to a point where he is participating in every strike against homophobes, but it was enough for Blaine. All he needed was a father that will allow him to be who he wants him to be.

“Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

“Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,
Darling, darling,
Darling Boy”

---

Kurt rubbed his eyes with one hand on held onto the wheel with the other as he drove. He didn’t really know where he was going but he just let his hormonal ways lead him to wherever it wanted. He didn’t have time to protest against his subconscious mind once he pulled into his old house’s driveway. Burt was already wiping his oiled hands with a rag and heading towards the car. “Kurt?”

---

“No, we can’t tell Kurt, Ryan,” Quinn assured swinging her shopping bags by her side to the parking lot.

The other man shook his head and took the bags from her hands, “Q, he’s our boss-,”

“Uh-uh, no, don’t call me a nickname,” she made a disgusted face, “I’m gonna hurl”.

The man sounded frustrated and limply held the bags as they stood outside the hotel, “It was just a one night st-,”

“Stop!” she shouted, raising her hands defensively into the air, “I don’t need the reminder!” A million thoughts raced through her head. This was Ryan. The one Kurt and Quinn constantly made fun of because of how he smelt of generic soap and always wore reindeer ties. Somehow it was cute but she couldn’t even stand the mere suggestion that Ryan was of interest.

“But you seemed perfectly fine when you were begging for my-,”

“Ryan! Please!” she sighed placing a shaking palm on her forehead. Of all people, she had to pick this douche bag to relieve the unwanted stress?

“Quinn,” he started, “I get it, we have a short amount of time to fix all of this and I know that playing the whole douche bag trick will only waste more time, so let’s just get this done, okay?” Wait a sec, she thought, a douche bag aware that he’s a douche bag?

“Okay,” Quinn opened her car door and plopped into the driver’s seat, “it’s a plan,” she said catching a glimpse of Ryan’s shy smile creeping onto his cheeks as he joined into the car with her.

---

“I think I came here because I needed you to know,” Kurt answered after he had finished telling Burt the watered down version of his relations with Sebastian and Blaine. He wasn’t sure how long it took to tell the story, it must have been long after dark once he finished. It was Burt, after all. He deserved to know everything. Well, at least, most everything. He can save some embarrassment by not mentioning the blowjob, one night stands, and trips to the bar.

His father lifted his eyebrows adjusted his cap on his head, “You did good for telling me,” he paused, “I’m not exactly happy that you didn’t stand by what I said but right now you seem sure that you’re ready to settle down, right? Because, truth be told, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing,” he half chuckled, “but at least you do. And you’re happy?” he asked. Kurt smiled, “And this is what you want?” Kurt nodded with a tighter smile. Burt lifted his head to look Kurt square in the eye. “I love you no matter what and I know that Blaine’s a good kid. He’ll take care of you, that’s for sure, but be careful,” he warned, “he seems a bit soft”.

Kurt snorted a laugh in response then placed his hands giddily on his own knees, “I love you too, Dad”. Burt nodded proudly and clapped his hand on Kurt’s shoulder, “I’ll be careful, I swear,” Kurt reassured.

---

“Hurry!” Quinn called grabbing Ryan’s wrist and pulling him into Kurt’s hotel room. “We need to drop this off and get the hell out before they come!”

“Sorry, I was distracted!” the man complained loosening his tie and following Quinn.

“By what? The wallpaper?” she retorted pulling candles from the porch into the room.

“No,” he cheekily smiled grabbing some candles too, “by you.”

Quinn’s hands stilled as she was setting the candles randomly around the room. She glanced at him for a moment then decided to ignore the flattering comment as she dipped into the cabinets and pulled out a lighter and began decorating the room with specks of fire light on the candles until the room was warm and lit dimly by the wicks of candlelight. They spent a couple of trips taking the candles from the porch to the room. The made it to a point where the room was littered with candles. Ryan finished adjusting the some of the wicks then watched Quinn concentrating on the lighter, setting the room into a dim light. She finished the candles and stroked a finger over one of the lights, feeling the heat from the fire on the tip of her finger. Ryan cocked a head to the side and studies the woman as her eyes flicked from candle to candle, the lights looking glossy in her bright blue eyes. He neared the woman and wrapped his hand around Quinn’s delicate wrist and led her from the candles. She looked up at him shocked for a moment until Ryan stared into her eyes longingly, making her melt into his arms as she was pulled into a kiss, the candles tinting their faces with a soft yellow as they tentatively touched their hands on waists, shoulders, and necks, as the slowly tilted their heads into the warmth of their lips they didn’t even hear Quinn dropping her keys onto the floor. She broke away and slipped her eyes to the floor, “We’re so fired”.

---

Blaine closed the car door and walked to the hotel, slipped through the rotating doors, glided across the lobby floor, rode up the elevator, and walked in front of Kurt’s hotel room. He didn’t even think, just opened the door and stepped inside to the candle lit room. “Kurt?” he called. No answer. Well, actually, there was. The candles flickered from the noise to the direction of a guitar perched up onto a stand with a letter posted next to it. He walked to the guitar then lifted the small card with a hand.

I saw you staring at this guitar the other day. I thought that maybe you can start your dreams too. – Kurt Hummel

He laid the card on the floor and stared at the acoustic, the lights reflecting onto the glossed over wood, a leathered strap dangling on the guitar, a pick stuck under the strings, a capo clamped on the head of the guitar, the rich wood looking vibrant under the dim light. Blaine stared in awe, it was a dream guitar, nothing more, but it was too much. He sat in the stool next to the guitar and glanced around at the candles the covered every inch of counter space. It was breath taking.

---

Kurt climbed the stairs to his floor. He was upset that he went everywhere to find Blaine but he was nowhere. He stopped by Lima Bean, Blaine’s old house, and the lake, but he wasn’t there. Lima Bean was only filled with old couples and a few college students, Blaine’s father told him that he left, and the lake was empty. He opened the door to his hotel room only to be invited to the soft sounds of the guitar.

“Say, wasn't that a funny day?
Gee you had a funny way, a way about you
A kind of glow of something new

“Sure, I'll admit that I'm the same
Another sucker for a game kids like to play
And the rules they like to use

“Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?”

Kurt neared Blaine and watched him bob his head to the music, not yet realizing that there was another person in the room.

"The sun telling me the night is done
Well I refuse to let it stop our fun
Close your eyes, we'll make it dark again

"And kiss, there's a thought so how 'bout this?
Let's pretend that both our lips are made of candy
After all we need sweets every now and then

"Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?"

Blaine lifted his head when he heard the floor shift then immediately hopped from the stool once he caught a glance of Kurt, continuing the song.

“Well here we are two strangers in a very different place
Who knows what will happen to us next?
Here we are with nothing but this little spark
It's too cold outside to lay this fire to rest”

He motioned to the candles around them, and then tried to avoid eye contact in worry of messing up from Kurt being there.

“Go, how so very apropos
A goodbye just as soon as I said hello
Well, alright, I'll see you later

“It's true, it's just a fantasy for two
But what's the difference if it all could have been true?
I guess this is better”

Kurt stroked and pushed Blaine’s thick curls from his eyes and let him finish the song.

“But, don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

“Oh, don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

“Don't you want the way that I feel for you?”

Blaine took a step closer to where Kurt’s chest rested on the guitar that separated them. The other man nodded slowly and toyed his fingers through the slinky curls. “Yes.”

“What?” Blaine asked with slight nervousness from how close they were standing together.

“I want the way you feel for me,” he whispered, the hands becoming stiff in his curls. It felt too much for them. To have something they wanted so much right there in front of them and ready to be stitched together. Kurt’s heart skipped a beat as he found Blaine’s hand interlocked with his. Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, almost sadly, almost like he couldn’t believe that this was happening, that maybe he had enough courage to crane his neck and-

“Kurt?” Quinn called and half giggled whipping open the door and stumbling in with Ryan behind her, his face peppered in lipstick. Blaine took a step back and began setting the guitar on the stand as Kurt sighed letting go of Blaine’s hand and turning to the other couple. “What?” she asked picking up her forgotten keys from the floor and pushing Ryan back into the hallway.

“You and Ryan?” he asked pointing a finger between them.

“Don’t question me, Kurt, you’re not even in bed with Blaine yet and it’s 11:30!” she giggled pushing Ryan away again then left the room.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me?” Kurt asked turning back to Blaine, who was walking towards his bedroom. “Where are you going?”

Blaine shook his head and looked at Kurt, “Quinn was right. It’s 11:30 and you’re not in bed with me yet,” he jokingly smiled.

“Hey!” Kurt shouted.

“I was joking, Kurt. But you should rest up; tomorrow’s the big day,” Blaine raised his eyebrows then left to go into his room and closed the door behind him. Kurt stood in the middle of the hotel room surrounded by the dozens of candles and his eyes focusing on Blaine’s door. He dropped his gaze after he only heard silence then blew the candles out.