Do Your Worst

Kurt and Blaine sat together on a cold metal bench in the waiting room while Sam paced nervously in front of them. Kurt bit his lip scanning the brightly lighted empty area, the walls were a simple white color with signs to get around the hospital and simply painted frames tacked into it. There was a neatly stacked pile of magazines that had uninteresting topics on a wooded coffee table. You could laterally flip through the entire scandal sheet and not find any article of any interest. The receptionist tapped her pen on the countertop in front of her holding a phone up to her ear with her other hand and talking softly. The air smelt so… clean? How could you describe the smell of the nearly perfect room? It was so spotless and clean; it almost made Kurt feel dirty. He drummed his fingertips on his lap and studied Sam’s muddy shoes squeaking with each step making Kurt’s ears sensitive to every noise he would make.

After a full five minutes of silence, Kurt turned to Blaine and cleared his throat, “So, why are we here?”

Blaine scuffed his feet on the ground and broke away from his daydreaming, “I know Jesse’s here,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, you said that,” Kurt reassured, “but, you know, why- er, how do you, uh, know?”

Blaine sighed and tilted his head, “I kind of had a feeling or… a vision? It’s hard to explain. All I know is that Sam needs to… Sam is the reason it happened,”
Kurt gulped and glanced at Sam for a moment before returning to look at Blaine,

“What happened?” he asked curiously.

Blaine made an annoyed look and fiddled with his hands, “Kurt, I don’t have all of the answers,” he lied. Kurt tensed and stared nervously at his manicured nails. It wasn’t really a lie though, Blaine was going by this dream that may have only just been a dream, but this- this feeling was so strong, so real, that for Blaine, it was true.

Sam’s head jerked up from the ground to the door as the doctor strode in with a clipboard and an empty coffee cup in each hand widening his eyes at the three teenagers in the waiting room. He studied at Sam for a moment, almost like he recognized him, “Are you Mr. Evans? Sam Evans?”

Sam looked slightly anxious and confused, “Yeah, how did you know?”

The doctor held tightly to his clipboard at his side and swirled the last few drops of coffee in his mug before taking the last short sip, “Well, you’re one of that kid’s, Jesse St. James, Emergency contacts, but we never informed anyone yet so, how did you know?” Sam glanced and Blaine and gulped. So he was right, something happened to Jesse, but why was Sam feeling something tightening in his throat. It’s what Jesse deserved, after all of the pain he brought into Sam’s life, he finally got the payback, but Sam felt like it was his fault. He felt that Jesse was just the same Jesse he had met for the first time. The one with a golden voice, innocent sparkling eyes, and loving heart of passions. So what went wrong?

Sam shook his head realizing he was keeping the doctor waiting, “It doesn’t matter, we’re here now,” he looked at his feet and wiped his tired eyes, “can- can I see him?”

The doctor shifted his standing position and eyed his mug in his hand, “Uh, he’s, er, I suppose, but only you because you’re an Emergency contact, is that okay with you guys?” the doctor tuned his gaze to the two on the bench. Kurt nodded then stared at the floor reaching to hold Blaine’s hand for comfort and squeezing it gently. Sam followed the doctor who reluctantly placed his empty coffee mug on the receptionist counter and disappearing through the double doors. Kurt pulled his thoughts away from Sam and Jesse then looked at Blaine trying to make conversation.

“Finn said the funniest thing the other day,” Kurt smiled letting his shoulders relax.

“Oh?” Blaine perked up his head and smiled, happy that Kurt was trying to distract him from his best friend.

“He went on another ‘movie rant’,” he laughed tilting his head back instantly feeling less stressed while thinking of the memory. “We watched ‘Stand by Me’… I know, again, and as Finn was throwing popcorn kernels at me, he had an epiphany. He was like, ‘Hold up, 12 year olds, yeah? Trying to find a dead body?”

Blaine gave a toothy smile a dropped his head muttering, “Oh, no”.

Kurt squeezed their linked hands and continued, “Then he threw his bowl of popcorn on the ground spilling it everywhere- oh, don’t worry they were plastic bowls. Anyways, he was like, ‘Why would they take the body away from the worms? You know the saying, ‘becoming food for worms’? What the Heck, Mom, those stupid kids don’t understand’”. Blaine laughed lifting his head and tightening his grip in Kurt’s, “Then he said, ‘You know the moral of the story? Don’t take away dead bodies, SAVE THE WORMS’,” Kurt giggled as Blaine bit his lip and covered his face with his free hand trying to stifle his chuckles.

Blaine smiled brightly and covered Kurt’s hand with his, “I can’t wait to see you,” he whispered, “I can’t wait to see you laugh, cry, smile, talk, sing, dance, walk, write, everything. I need to see you, Kurt, I just, I want to see my beautiful boyfriend,” Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and sniffed.

“Blaine, it might not hap-,” the other boy cut him off by shaking his head furiously.

“Don’t say that, Kurt, I will see you,” Kurt swallowed nervously hoping that he would look exactly like Blaine would want him to look. What if Blaine didn’t like his pasty skin, or slender physic? What if he thinks Kurt’s freakishly tall or has crooked teeth? He didn’t want to think about these things but the fact that Blaine was loving him more and more, he couldn’t help but have his insecurities in the way of the excitement of Blaine seeing him for the first time.

Blaine cupped Kurt’s face, like he has done so many times before and let his fingertips explore his skin. Kurt felt tears running down his cheeks at thought of Blaine seeing him. They could be able to dance together, watch the sunset together, read books together, take pictures together, maybe someday care for a child together, but Kurt’s favorite was to watch each other. He prayed for the days when Blaine would unknowingly stare right into Kurt’s eyes while Kurt would gaze back lovingly until Blaine shifted, not following his eyes with him. It wasn’t enough for Kurt, he wanted to look into his hazel eyes dipped in sunlight for hours, but he knew it might not ever happen. Blaine rubbed his thumbs lightly across Kurt’s eyelids and smeared the tears along his cheeks in attempt to dry them. He sighed contently swiping one his thumbs across Kurt’s bottom lip and hummed happily resting his palms onto Kurt’s lengthy neck.

Kurt bit his lip as he studied Blaine’s perfect face, it couldn’t even compare to the spotless room they were sitting in. “Blaine,” the other boy hummed in response rubbing his thumbs along the side Kurt’s neck, “I love you,” he said, his voice shaking.

Blaine smiled lightly then returned his concentration on feeling Kurt’s soft flawless skin, “I love you, too, Kurt,” he whispered then tugged lightly on Kurt’s collar of his shirt. Kurt glanced at the receptionist who was clearly asleep which was no shock because of how late it was then returned to the beautiful creature sitting next to him. How did he get so lucky?

Kurt pressed his lips onto Blaine’s carefully melting as the other boy toyed Kurt’s hair with his fingers. Kurt tentatively moved deeper exploding with pleasure when Blaine opened his mouth allowing Kurt to have a taste. It was like the wind got knocked out of him, he couldn’t breathe whenever they kissed like this, passionate yet careful to not go any further. Blaine scooted closer letting their torsos to collide as Blaine’s arms were wrapped around Kurt’s neck while the other boy hugged around Blaine’s chest and tugged onto his baggy clothes. Blaine lapped his tongue around Kurt’s mouth moaning softly in longing whenever Kurt would force himself to pull away as he whimpered in short breaths trying to cool off before returning to the searing kiss.

Kurt never wanted to go too far, he would do anything not to scare Blaine away. He’s never even experienced going… farther before, he always thought tender kisses were enough, but lately, he’s been having… urges, and very detailed dreams about the possible future they could have together. Miss. Pillsbury graciously handed him a stack of pamphlets describing what gay men do for… for pleasure and of course, how to prevent diseases. His father even went to a seminar about it to make sure his son was informed. Though the conversations were awkward, Kurt couldn’t help but to be curious and excited to start that kind of intimate relationship with Blaine.

All Kurt could hear were the sounds of their hands stroking every part of their clothed body’s waist up and wet lips smacking against each other until Blaine pulled away confused, “What’s that sound, Kurt?” The other boy widened his eyes at the receptionist as she stared at the two and blushed furiously. She flipped through the papers on her desk staring at the sheets with a little too much concentration as she clucked her tongue and took a sip from her now room temperature coffee. She sighed in relief as she had an excuse to leave the room to refill her coffee cup. The young woman stiffly wobbled out of her desk chair and left through the double doors. Kurt giggled as Blaine blushed keeping a small smile on his face.

“Okay, I’m going to warn you, Jesse looks… different,” the doctor said pushing through a white door and gesturing Sam to walk in. “I have to go refill my cup of coffee and then I’ll check up on you guys,” the doctor said quickly eyeing the lump in the sheets of the bed before leaving the room. Sam took long steady breaths and looked at Jesse’s peaceful face peaking through the blankets. His face was covered in scratches and small blue and yellow bruises rose onto the surface of his skin. There was a wrap tightly fitted onto his head that reminded Sam of the countless times he looked that way after Jesse let his so-called friends beat him up. Sam slowly took steps closer to the bed watching Jesse mumble something incoherently in his sleep, shifting into a more comfortable position. Sam rested a hand on Jesse’s shoulder, his legs wobbling beneath him. Why did he feel this way? Jesse deserved this after all that he has done to Sam. The beatings, the random outbursts, the cheating with girls as a cover-up. But Sam didn’t want to be covered up like a band aid, he wanted to show the world their relationship but by the tenth time he ran after Jesse, he got tired of always ending up hurt worse than before, so he moved to McKinley.

It was the thought of Jesse in pain that made his stomach cringe. Even if Jesse had left Sam in pain, Sam would always run back to him. He knew Jesse would use this incident to possibly get back with him. But, not this time. Sam would be strong. He didn’t care if Jesse loved him or not, Sam wouldn’t be treated like that again. Jesse groaned in pain as he woke, opening his eyes into a blurred vision of Sam standing at the side of his bed. “S-Sam,” he muttered rolling over to look at him closer. Sam took a step back noticing his gelled hair that Jesse loved so much, lifted his hand off of Jesse and let it dangle at his side as he stiffened.
“I meant what I said, Sam.”

The other boy clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes at Jesse, “Which part? The part when you asked me to choose between Blaine and you or the part where you threatened to hurt Blaine?”

Jesse pulled his covers over his head in annoyance, “Don’t you get it?” He threw his covers off sparking his powerful growl with frustration, “That stupid blind kid is in the way of you loving me”.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and stomped his foot forcefully onto the ground, “No, you’re in the way of me loving you”.

Jesse winced as he struggled to sit up and grunted in thought sitting in the silence toying with his fingertips, “What are you talking about?” he asked quietly.

“Jesse, you-,” Sam sighed before continuing, “You’re confused, I get it. But I can’t even count the amount of times you let your friends beat me up because our relationship reminded you of your father”.

Jesse scowled and reached for the bandages on his head, “That’s not fair, it- it wasn’t my fault”.

Sam stepped closer and fisted a hand in his hair then yanked it to his side, “Yes it was! God, will you ever learn? Hurting someone won’t make them love you, and you of all people should know that.”

Jesse remained quiet as he stroked the soft linens of his sheets and dropped his head, “So…,” he took in a deep breath.

“So?” Sam said flatly and annoyed, tapping his foot impatiently.

“So, I’ll change,” Jesse looked up at Sam with sad eyes, “I’ll change, Sam, anything to have you back.” Sam forced his head away from the other body in the room that was shaking in tears.

He broadened his shoulders and took a nervous swallow, “Not this time, Jesse” he choked and threw an angry look at the bandaged boy taking another step away from him. “It won’t work on me this time.” Jesse’s vision was blocked by a fresh layer of tears.

“No,” he cried as Sam stormed out of the room. His voice shook with thick emotion as he clutched his blankets, tears running fast down his cheeks, “No, Sam never…,” Jesse let out a heavy sob as his nose congested in disbelief.

Jesse threw his back onto the silk pillows stacked uncomfortably high. Why didn’t Sam believe him? Why wouldn’t he give him another chance? Why wouldn’t he understand that the only reason he did all of those things because of his father? Why couldn’t Sam just… understand? Jesse’s throat hitched into whining sobs as he rolled in thought’s of Sam. Why did Sam have to make Jesse feel this way? Make his heart swell with one single look, and care for him like nobody else. But tonight, Jesse could only see Sam’s dark lifeless eyes, no sympathy, no lust, just pure hatred. Now all Sam cared about was Blaine. That stupid blind kid’s always in the way! He turned Sam into someone unrecognizable, he wasn’t happy, just a soulless body going through the motions of an everyday boring teenager. What happened to the beauty, realness, and passionate boy he first met… he was gone. It must have been Blaine. Blaine basically turned Sam into his little slave forcing all the good in him out to perform his personal tasks and blaming everything on his blindness. Well, Jesse had enough, Sam probably had enough too. He needs a break, to meet new people, rather, the new person Jesse was going to change himself to become. All he needed to do is get rid of the problem.

Jesse desperately searched around hospital room until he held his cell phone with trembling fingers.

Dave, do your worst – Jessie St. James

Rachel twisted her coffee cup in her fingertips and listened closely to Kurt’s words. The boy across from her held tightly to a stack of papers as he read off of them to the girl. Kurt flipped a page, sighed, then continued reading, “Dave, do your worst – Jesse St. James,” he rested the tall stack of papers onto the table and took a long sip from his coffee mug soaking in the memories that were rushing through him.

“God, Kurt, this- this is an amazing story,” Rachel patted her hand on the table for emphasis as the boy nodded and forced a smile raking his eyes around the quiet coffee shop of Lima Bean. “You know, Kurt, I never thought you would quit New York with me to- to stay at Ohio and, you know, write”.

Kurt gave Rachel a questioning look then drummed his fingers on the hard top of the table. “I don’t know, it just felt right… to stay,” he hummed softly and turned his gaze out of the window.

He would have never expected becoming a writer in a million years, though he aced every English class he’s taken, it was odd thinking of it as a profession. The ground collected the soft white flurries covering the grass in a sheet of white snow somehow complementing the bright grey sky above, “I’m glad you came back, Rach, I missed you”.

The girl nodded and brushed her fingers through her bangs, “It’s great to be here, so many memories, yet, everything seems different.” She gestured a hand to the street outside that was being constructed on. “How long has it been? Five years since graduation?”

Kurt widened his eyes in shock then took another sip of coffee, “Wow, I guess it has been that long.” Rachel smiled and reached for the daily newspaper trying to cover the awkward silence. It was hard to talk to someone that he hasn’t seen for years. Someone he spent numerous sleepovers and afternoons planning their future in New York together. Now their lives were so different, Rachel’s name has been in gleaming lights on Broadway while Kurt was spending too much time trying to get his book published and not getting anywhere. Companies said that his story made Ohio look bad, that it was too controversial, or too shocking to actually be called a true story. Often times he would look back on the years he was so determined to be a designer and go to New York with Rachel doing what they loved together. What did happen? It could’ve worked out. He could be sitting at fashion shows watching his designs walking down runways. He could be on the streets observing pedestrians that were wearing his creations. Kurt guessed that it wasn’t supposed to end up that way, but it will work out for the better eventually, he was sure of it.