Hurting Someone

Blaine held Kurt’s hand little tighter as they sat on the Farris Wheel with funnel cake still lingering in their breath. They snuggled a bit closer once the Wheel jerked slightly before slowly lifting them into the night sky. Blaine closed his eyes and clutched his arm around his stomach. Kurt glanced at the lights from the fair below them before turning his head to Blaine. “Blaine, are you- are you scared?” Kurt giggled and placed a hand on Blaine’s cheek wiping a smear of powdered sugar from his lips with his thumb, “just relax,” he whispered. After what happened on Valentine’s Day, Kurt made it essential to make sure Blaine felt loved. Blaine let go of his strained face leaning into Kurt’s touch and opened his eyes.

“I talked to the doctor today,” Blaine said quietly feeling a gust of wind blow in his face as the Farris Wheel pulled them down slowly.

“Really?” Kurt asked confused to why he was telling him this.

“Let me clarify, I talked to the eye doctor today,” Blaine covered Kurt’s hand on his cheek with his own smiling softly.

Kurt took a deep breath before answering quietly, “Oh.”

Blaine pulled a bright smile then bit his lip nervously, “They said I’m a bit old for having surgery to treat Congenital Blindness, I mean, it may not work, but I-,” Blaine sighed lightly, “See, when I was a child, my family didn’t really have that kind of money so I saved up all of my allowance and with a little help of my parents who agreed on this decision, we went to the doctors and literally begged to have surgery”. Kurt stared at Blaine with wide eyes, “What I’m trying to say is that, in a month… I might be able to see,” Blaine’s smile quickly dissolved as he swallowed a lump in his throat, “Kurt, I want you to be the first person I see when I get out of surgery,” A tear slid down Blaine’s cheek as he thought of being able to see Kurt.

To be able to take care of his love and compliment his carefully picked outfits. To be able to watch the movie on their dates instead of Kurt always commentating everything that was happening on the screen. To be able to dance with Kurt at their prom without bumping into someone every five seconds. To be able to cook and bake without someone babysitting him. To be able to take long walks without holding someone’s hand or carrying a walking stick and watch the beautiful sunset that he’s heard so much about. Having Kurt with him would make the blind life far more tolerable but it wasn’t a matter of wanting to see Kurt, he needed to see him.

The other boy didn’t know what to say, he wanted Blaine to see, but was nervous. What if it doesn’t work? What if Blaine has to live the rest of his like not being able to see him? Not being able to compliment Kurt’s carefully picked outfits. Not being able to watch a movie on their dates without Kurt always commentating everything that was happening on the screen. Not being able to dance with Kurt at their prom without bumping into someone every five seconds. Not being able to cook and bake without someone babysitting him. Not being able to take long walks without holding someone’s hand or carrying a walking stick and watch the beautiful sunset that he’s heard so much about. It was unfair.

Blaine whimpered pulling Kurt’s hand off of his cheek and holding it tightly, “Kurt, say something,” Kurt watched Blaine as his dark curls blew in the light warm breeze, the sounds of people laughing and chatting below them quieted when they reached the highest point on the Farris Wheel. Time seemed to slow down as Kurt watched Blaine. Carnival lights reflected off of Blaine’s slopping streaks of tears, his long eyelashes weighed down with the tears that clung to them. Kurt pressed his lips onto Blaine’s in a brief and gentle kiss. Blaine’s expression on his face didn’t change when Kurt pulled away from the kiss, his eyes welling and gleaming with unshed tears. “So, is it okay if you’re the first person I see?” Blaine asked in a small voice.

“Of course,” Kurt said in a combination of a laugh and a sob catching Blaine’s lips in a slightly longer passionate kiss as the ride slowed and came to a creaking stop. Kurt pulled away helping Blaine out of his seat and walking towards the railed wall he saw Sam leaning against before they went on the Farris Wheel.

“Why are you here?” Sam repeated in a more irritated tone.
Jesse stared at Sam with a hurt expression on his face, “Sam,” he whispered placing his hand on the other boys shoulder. “I miss you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

Sam’s cheeks flushed as he blinked back tears, “No, you don’t!” Sam shouted wishing it hadn’t come out as squeaky. Jesse tightened his hand on Sam’s shoulder tighter, it looked like Jesse was trying so hard to cry, yet no tears were shedding.

“Sam, remember our first kiss in the middle of the Carmel Auditorium? Remember how the lights were shining down at us, while we sang our duet? We were perfect. I remember when you first told me you loved me. Sam, I will never ever forget it. I need you back. I- I love you so much,” Jesse cries, tears spilling out of his red rimmed eyes, nose turning slightly pink. Sam bowed his head bursting in tears wriggling out of Jesse’s grip.

“You never loved me,” Sam sobbed narrowing his eyes at the other boy who looked up at him gaping.

“You know damn well that’s a lie!” Jesse screamed. Sam turned his head away from Jesse watching the Farris Wheel slowing down.

“I can’t deal with this right now, I was just starting to feel… normal, Jesse,” he wiped his tears trying to look more put together.

Jesse stepped closer to Sam, watching him with loving eyes, “Why be normal when you can be with me, in love?”

Sam took a step back trying to avoid Jesse’s eyes, “It’s Blaine’s birthday, I can’t do this right now,” Sam said in an emotionless voice.

Jesse fisted his hand and grunted angrily, “All you care about is that stupid blind bastard!” he shouted.

“Blaine’s is worth so much more than you will ever be, Jesse St. James,” Sam said angrily raising his voice slightly. Jesse bit his lip then looked at the other boy with a facial expression that Sam always caved into.

“Choose,” Jesse said piercing his eyes into Sam’s.

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked in a snarky tone and crossing his arms protectively.

Jesse stood in front of Sam and gently placed his hand on Sam’s chest, “Me or Blaine,” he said quietly. Sam stared at Jesse with wide eyes, feeling his legs grow weak as Jesse traced his fingers down Sam’s chest. Sam straightened and lightly shoved Jesse out of his way to walk with Kurt and Blaine as they stepped out off of the Farris Wheel.

Jesse disappeared into the heavily congested crowd of people trying to get out of the Carnival. Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to check the time, wiping his tired eyes and smiling at Kurt with Blaine at his side after they reached him. Sam looked at his phone, the light shining brightly into his eyes.

I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back, even if it means hurting someone. – Jesse

Sam stood staring at the message, while Kurt chatted quietly to Blaine. Sam slipped his phone into his pocket, bit his lip then gripped Kurt’s arm tightly and forced a smile, “Ready to go?”

Kurt gave him a confused look then nodded sadly, “Fine with you, Blaine?”

The boys at Kurt’s side smiled, nodded, and laughed, “Best day ever!” Kurt and Blaine followed Sam to the parking lot and into Sam’s car heading to Blaine’s home for his annual Birthday sleepover party.

Sam fiddled his thumbs and pushed through the double doors of Carmel High nervously. Though he has gone to this school for already over a month, he still found everything intimidating, especially Vocal Adrenaline. He seemed to make friends just fine once he joined their Glee Club, he honestly didn’t know how it happened, but he made it. Practices were brutal, and the director pushed the members to dance and sing hours on end with no water breaks, preparing for Sectionals. Sam roughly rubbed the back of his neck sighing as the pain of the tight muscles seceded slightly. He pushed himself to get his body roll just perfect at the previous practice that everything was throbbing in pain.

He waved his hand in the air spotting his new friend, Jesse, from the end of the wide hall and through the clusters of students walking to class. Jesse smiled brightly; waiting for Sam to catch up with him do they could walk to class together. “I forgot to stretch after practice last night, I’m so sore,” Sam yawned.

Jesse patted Sam’s back and gave him a calming smile, “I know, tell me about it.” Jesse gestured towards the choir room and adjusted the strap of his backpack. Jesse was very friendly and looked to be the closest friend that Sam friend that Sam had at the new school.

“I still can’t believe I got in Vocal Adrenaline,” Sam laughed walking into the spacious choir room with wooden chairs and couches. A large rug covered a good portion of the marbled floors; long silky curtains draped over the windows and framed the painted portraits that hung on the tall walls. Jesse took off his backpack and settled on the leather couch along with Sam.

“Well, you’re very talented, Sam, you deserve being here,” Sam blushed and smiled cradling his arm in his chest, “and I may or may not have considered you to join to the director,” Jesse giggled.

“Thank you,” Sam whispered softly blushing furiously, feeling like melting at any moment. Jesse bored his dark eyes into Sam’s and chuckling making the other boy’s stomach do flips whenever Jesse laughed.

“You’re too modest!” Jesse laughed putting his hand on Sam’s knee, his dark curls falling slightly, “I’ll tell you what, how would you like to sing a duet in Sectionals with me?” Sam’s heart skipped a beat as Jesse bit his lip waiting for an answer. He didn’t know why singing a duet with another male would make him feel this way, he was always interested in girls, but Jesse was different. Somehow, liking Jesse St. James romantically sounded exciting to Sam.

“Sure,” he said breathlessly.

Jesse’s face broke into a wide toothy grin as he squeezed Sam’s knee, “Great”.

“Why are you here?”

Jesse sobbed dryly when his back slammed into his car suddenly by his growling father. “Do as I say!” His father’s voice echoed across the Carmel High parking lot that was scattered with cars yet no students were around.

“No!” Jesse screamed fighting against his father’s hold. The older man shoved Jesse into the car once again, leaning towards him,

“Don’t test me, boy,” he snarled, his hips forcefully rocking against him. Jesse winced using every muscle in his body to push his father off of him but the man was too strong.

“Get off of me!” Jesse shouted, tears slipping out of his eyes and face bright red, his arms shaking from pushing and hitting his father but the other man remained focused on his personal release.

“Stop moving,” Jesse’s father groaned pinning him against the car and roughly kissing him while Jesse squirmed and cried beneath him, his father not budging.

“Jesse!” a voice called from the other side of the parking lot. Sam popped out behind some cars widening his eyes at Jesse’s father. The old man pushed away from Jesse and slapped his cheek hard with the back of his hand, stepping into his car and pulling away from the parking lot. Jesse gripped his cheek shaking in fear and sobbing trying not to meet Sam’s eyes. The blonde headed boy stepped closer to Jesse and wrapped his arms around him to comfort him.

“Sam, I miss you,”

Jesse squeezed Sam’s middle burying his head into Sam’s chest and sobbed. Sam was still confused about what he’d seen but allowed Jess try cry on him without being pounded with questions. After a long minute, Jesse let go of Sam and stared at him with red rimmed eyes. Sam gave him a sad look and put his hand on his back leading him to the auditorium. They walked to the middle of the stage, lights shining on them as some members from the jazz band were settled in the corner ready to rehearse for Sam and Jesse’s duet. Jesse bit his lip staring blankly into the empty audience, “I don’t know if I can do it,” he croaked.

“No, you don’t!”

“Yes, you can,” Sam said smiling reassuringly, “You’ll feel better if you sing.” Jesse grumbled quietly and wiped his sensitive eyes waiting for the band to play their song. As the music started, Jesse felt uneasy, it seemed like the words fit perfect with the relationship he has with his father.

“Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh, I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh, gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh, twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees”

Their voices meshed together, Jesse’s voice was rough and raw from screaming in the parking lot while Sam’s was a bit more smooth and tender, perfect for harmonizing. Jesse’s father was still on the curly headed boy’s mind as he thought of why his father would do such a thing. He’s been doing this ever since he was a child but he was always told that it was ‘normal’. Gosh, what was ‘normal’? Apparently Jesse has been living a fairly ‘normal’ life, being abused by his aggressive father and neglecting mother. Jesse sobbed as thought of the terrible memories when his father would sneak into his room while his mother was sleeping and tugging at Jesse’s jumper. “Your mother doesn’t satisfy me anymore, Jesse, it makes Daddy sad,” his father would whisper, “make Daddy happy”.

“Oh, gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me”

Jesse shook in heavy sobs and grabbing onto Sam and looking into his loving eyes. Why didn’t he see this before? Jesse has never been with someone so nice; Sam was looking at him like he should be looked at.

“Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
C'mon, keep me where the light is
C'mon, keep me where the light is
Oh... where the light is!”

Jesse held out the note and held onto Sam feeling slightly better that he had someone. “Jesse,” Sam whispered, the lights from overhead brightly shining on them. The other boy lifted his head inching his face closer to Sam, then let go. Jesse let go of his hesitation, his pain, his insecurities and went for what he wanted, Sam. Their lips pressed together delicately, both of them new to this type of experience. They moved their lips into each other carefully, almost innocent. Trying to deepen the kiss, Jesse sobbed into Sam’s mouth clenching his fists into his blonde hair biting roughly at his bottom lip. Sam gasped pulling away from Jesse wide-eyed shaking from the sudden movement. Jesse broke into fresh tears, this was too much.

“Sam, remember our first kiss in the middle of the Carmel Auditorium? Remember how the lights were shining down at us, while we sang our duet? We were perfect. Sam, I will never ever forget it. I need you back. I- I love you so much,”

His head throbbed as he stared at his shoes, “This is all wrong. You’re Sam. You’re… you’re a boy.” Sam shook his head mumbling something about his staying. “This was just another mistake; these- these feelings aren’t real,” Jesse yelled straightening his back and heading towards the door.

“You never loved me.”

Sam felt his bed sink in beside him and slender arms wrapped around him into a tight hug. He opened his eyes feeling the dried tears breaking away from his eyelashes. Kurt squeezed around him and wiped his own tears, “What’s wrong?” Sam whispered his throat sore and tight.

Kurt looked up at his and furrowed his eyes at him as tears ran down his cheeks,“Y-you talk in your sleep, Sam, you told me… everything,” Sam gulped nervously looking down at Kurt. He looked perfect like this, the moonlight hitting his face, cheeks flushed and filling with tears. 

“Don’t worry, Kurt, that was a long time ago,” Sam said in a shaky voice pulling him closer and trying to comfort him as reality hit him. Kurt is taken. Taken by his best friend.

“Blaine tells me you scream in your sleep like this a lot,” Kurt sobbed and yawned resting his head on Sam’s chest.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Sam croaked trying not to look at Kurt who was falling into a deep sleep in his arms.