Irresponsible

Months seemed to rush by, skipping holidays, even Glee Sectional’s and Regional’s zipped through leaving a brief and blurry memory until time slowed down on February 14th. Decorations hung down the halls of McKinley all week, couples buying candy grams and roses for each other. Finn and Rachel were all loved up staring at each other closely biting their lips wishing that the PDA rule would just disappear for one minute. Tina and Mike ignored the rule and literally sucked face the full hour of Glee Club. Brittany and Santana secretly held hands in the back of the classroom trying very hard to pay attention to Mr. Shue’s words. Sam, Artie, and Puck sat uncomfortably scanning each couple around the room. Kurt and Blaine sat together as usual but were nothing compared to the other couples. No hand holding, kisses, loving looks, roses, or candy grams. Nothing.

“Alright, class dismissed,” Mr. Shuester sighed packing up his things. Sam, Blaine, and Kurt walked through the clear chilling air with snow collecting on their shoulders. Kurt blinked rapidly as the snow flurried onto his eyelashes and melted into his eyes. He tugged on his jacket and shivered staring into the bright grey clouded sky. Blaine wrapped his hand into Kurt’s unlatching his other hand from Sam’s arm and leaned towards Kurt. Sam breathed in deeply and let out a long sigh breaking away from Kurt and Blaine to go home. The three have become very quiet ever since Kurt and Blaine started their… their very friendly friendship. They weren’t really dating yet they weren’t denying it either. Sam was very distant, only hanging out with Blaine on the weekends while Kurt and Blaine would spend some afternoons chatting without Sam. That honestly was it.

Kurt was completely content with the pace him and Blaine were going. He enjoyed spending time with Blaine, talking and occasional caressing each other’s hands. It was sweet just like all of the classic movies and their romances have taught him. They could talk about absolutely everything and the best part was that Blaine never pushed Kurt to do something he didn’t want to do.

Blaine bit his lip nervously and loosened his grip on Kurt’s hand, “Do you find me… attractive?”

Kurt turned slightly confused and looked at Blaine admiring his toned figure and delicately flushed cheeks that complimented his stunning looks. “Uh, why?” he asked curiously.

Blaine grunted sadly and let his hand fall limply causing Kurt to have to hold it tighter. “Sometimes, I just… I don’t feel attractive because you never… you ne-” Blaine turned his head away letting a tear fall down his cheek. Kurt gaped watching Blaine carefully intertwining their fingers into a firmer hold.

“I never what?” Kurt asked softly. Blaine lowered his head wiping the single tear with sleeve and then pulled up his head.

“You never show how you feel about us or… whatever this is,” Blaine said gesturing to their linked hands by lifting them slightly. “We talk all of the time about casual things, and hold hands every once in a while but… but you haven’t kissed me for three months.” Blaine paused sniffling, “Do you even want this?” Kurt stared at him speechless, in absolute shock. He’d enjoyed their long talks and lovely hand holding techniques but never knew that their lack of intimacy was starting to make Blaine feel insecure. “Kurt, its Valentine’s Day.” Blaine said in a shaky voice lowering his head.

“Blaine,” Kurt whispered stopping in the middle of the road and facing him, his hand on Blaine’s waist rubbing his thumb along the seams of Blaine’s fleece coat. “You’re so beautiful,” he said breathlessly eyeing every detail of Blaine’s face that pulled a sad smile and sniffled shaking in the cold. “I know I may not show it, but I do want this. I’m just … I… I’m scared.” Blaine lifted his head and looked straight into Kurt’s eyes. Kurt’s heart skipped a beat staring into Blaine’s vibrant hazel eyes that glistened brightly. Kurt looked down at their clasped hands frowning when he looked back into Blaine’s eyes that wouldn’t follow his. 

“Good,” Blaine said softly nuzzling his cold nose into Kurt’s warm cheek. Blaine pulled back dizzily and pulled a rose out from behind him and grinned lovingly.

Kurt gasped and smiled, “Blaine, I didn’t even notice you had that! Thank you, love.” Kurt handled the rose and pulled it to his nose breathing in the sweet smell gently.

Blaine moved closer to Kurt until their chests touched throwing a cocky smile,“What did you call me?” he asked shyly.

Kurt widened his eyes in realization, “Oh, uh, love.” Kurt gulped nervously.
Blaine’s smile lingered for a moment until it turned into a small frown as he back up slightly, “I have to show you something.” Kurt bit his lip and followed Blaine’s instructions, and led him to his house.

Kurt took Blaine slowly down the stairs to the basement of his room. “Where’s your piano?” Blaine asked squeezing Kurt’s hand a little tighter.

“You-you’re going to sing to me?” Kurt stared at Blaine feeling like his heart was going to pound out of his chest as he sat Blaine in front of his piano. Blaine nodded and placed his hands on the polished keys taking a big breath. He pushed down the keys to a familiar tune and smiled nervously. Kurt was surprised at how natural Blaine’s playing was; there was a passion behind it that blew him away without him even singing the first lyric yet.

“Call me irresponsible
Call me unreliable
Throw in undependable too
Do my foolish alibis bore you?
Well, I’m not too clever.
I just adore you.”

His voice was smooth like velvet that could warm even the coldest of creatures. He threw his head back blinking back obvious tears of emotion; he sniffed, and continued singing.

“Call me unpredictable.
Tell me I’m impractical.
Rainbows I’m inclined to pursue.”

Blaine tilted his head holding the note out with such powerful tone. Kurt watched him closely taking in every word he sung making him want to melt on the spot.

“Call me irresponsible.
Yes, I’m unreliable.
But it’s undeniably true.
I’m irresponsibly mad for you”

Blaine let his tears roll down his cheeks as he pressed the keys down effortlessly. He swayed his shoulders to the beat ringing out every jazzy chord on the piano with fluidity. He closed his eyes and leaned back singing soulfully as Kurt breathed deeply, his throat becoming tight, heart swelling while his stomach twirled and flipped in every direction.

“Call me irresponsible.
Yes, I’m unreliable.
But it’s undeniably true.
I’m irresponsibly mad for you”

He pressed down the last chord gently then placed his face in his hands sobbing lightly. Kurt knew exactly why Blaine would sing this particular song to him, which made his heart sink a little. He stood watching Blaine with wide eyes, tears forcing their way out of his eyes. His heart pounded against his chest strongly, his lungs about to give up as he walked slowly over to Blaine and sat on the bench next to him. He scooted closer to him, dropped his rose, and gripped Blaine’s hands pulling them away from his face. His curls fell loosely on his forehead, some even sticking to the tears that washed over his cheeks. Kurt let go of his hands and wiped Blaine’s tears off with his thumbs. “Blaine, you don’t have to be ashamed that- that you may not be able to take care of me because of your blindness, it’s a part of who you are. It shouldn’t matter anyways, blind or not, I…” Kurt wiped his tears and smiled at the thought looking up at Blaine swearing that he would get a heart attack before even saying the words, “I love you.”

Kurt felt like he would explode at any minute when he placed his hands at the back of Blaine’s head and caught his lips into a searing kiss. Blaine whimpered into his mouth pulling him closer at the waist with his shaky hands moving their lips together at an agonizing slow pace. Kurt plucked Blaine’s lips delicately with his before crashing into Blaine’s mouth close enough to feel his rigid teeth through his skin. Blaine’s mind was going out of control and not able to register the fact that the amazing Kurt Hummel who believed the ‘touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets’ was ferociously attacking his face. Their lips moved with such force, rapidly increasing the speed until Blaine harshly bit Kurt’s bottom lip downward, licking the soft ridge of Kurt’s lip demanding entrance and pulling his chest closer to him. Kurt opened his mouth moaning as he dipped his tongue into Blaine’s exploring his mouth. Kurt was surprised that he was enjoying this vigorous of a kiss, let alone initiating it He was completely lost mentally, and it felt like this was too much at one time, maybe this is what love feels like. After a couple of long minutes, Blaine pulled away gasping for air as Kurt trailed desperate sloppy kisses along the side of Blaine’s neck until he rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder breathing heavily.

Blaine clung onto Kurt tightly not wanting to ever let go. Kurt felt fresh tears from Blaine’s cheeks rubbing against his neck. “I love you, Kurt.” Blaine whispered fluttering his eyelashes on Kurt’s neck as he found it easy to be comfortable curled into Kurt.

The other boy bit his bruised lip and smiled softly against his neck, “I know,” he lifted his head to kiss the side of Blaine’s cheek gently before laying his head back on his shoulder. Blaine nuzzled his nose into Kurt’s neck planting a brief kiss on it before they both snuggled against each other adjusting to their warmth of their bodies together and relaxing into breathing as one.

Sam lay on the floor of his bedroom staring at the ceiling and strumming the strings of his guitar light enough to listen to Blaine who was lounging on the couch flipping through Braille comic books. “Sam, it’s my birthday, and I’m bored,” Blaine sighed closing the book Sam gave him for his birthday and let it drop on the ground. Sam groaned in annoyance not really wanting to get up and do something.

He set his guitar on the floor and sat up resting his elbow on his knee propping his chin into his palm. “Well, what do you want to do?”

Blaine smiled and shifted his head in Sam’s direction, “Can we go to the carnival with Kurt?”

Sam grinned; he secretly wanted to go to the carnival once he heard about it earlier this spring. “Sure, bud,” he laughed.

Blaine giggled and squirmed into the couch. “Gosh, what has gotten into you and Kurt lately?” Sam asked chuckling at the way Blaine tugged at his stomach and kicked his legs in the cushions.

Blaine gave a toothy smile and wrapped his hand in the fabric of his loose T-Shirt. “I never told you?”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, “No.” Blaine sat up and pushed himself to sit next to Sam and told him about Valentine’s Day two months ago.

Sam looked at Blaine shocked, “Really? You sang him a love song, he told you he loved you then kissed you?” Blaine giggled and nodded his head violently.

“Blaine, you little shit, come here!” Sam laughed pulling Blaine in his arm rubbing his other fist playfully on the top of Blaine’s head. “When did you become such a romantic?!” he grinned releasing Blaine who gave him a stern look as he brushed his fingers through his hair trying to get rid of the disaster Sam created with his fist.

They both chuckled lightly until Blaine touched his hair self consciously, “Do I look good enough for Kurt?”

Sam pulled Blaine’s hand off of his head and smiled, “You look dashing as ever, birthday boy.” Blaine smiled brightly and patted Sam’s back.

Sam cradled and large bag of cotton candy in his arm walking next to Kurt and Blaine who tightly held hands. Sam threw his hand into the bag of cotton candy concentrating on unwinding the threads of fluffy candy with his fingertips, his tongue stuck out begging for more of the taste. “Geez, Sam, lay off the cotton candy, you’re almost finished with it and you just got it five minutes ago!” Kurt laughed rubbing his prized stuffed animal into Sam’s hallowed cheek to make it appear as if the stuffed dog was kissing Sam’s cheek. Sam swatted his hand at the dog as Kurt yelped staring at the pink sticky mark of cotton candy on the tip of the dog’s nose.

Sam tugged at the cotton candy and lifted his fingers that were covered in fluffy pink candy to his mouth, making sure to lick every thread of candy that stuck to his fingertips. “Mmm, ‘s so good” Sam moaned as he sucked the flavor off of his fingers grinning at Kurt as he snarled and made a disapproving look.

“I swear, boys are the most disgusting creatures on the Earth,” Kurt said angrily playfully hitting Sam in the shoulder with the stuffed animal.

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand, “That’s a lie, you love dirty boys,” Blaine said. Kurt coughed awkwardly smiling as Blaine’s face turned to a frown and he widened his eyes realizing what he’s just said, “Oh, no, that- that’s not what I meant. I… I just-”

Kurt cut Blaine of by kissing his cheek happily, “I know what you meant, dear.”

Blaine giggled and sniffed the warm air. “What’s that smell?” Kurt and Sam looked through the dark crowd of people squinting through the bright multicolored light’s that peeked behind their heads searching for signs of food. Kurt spotted a trail of smoke hovering above a stand that had a long line of people following behind it.

Sam smiled once he noticed what it was, “Mmm, funnel cake is so good.”

Blaine’s eyes twinkled and his mouth watered as he sniffed in the direction Sam and Kurt was pulling him in, “I hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

Sam and Kurt snapped their head at Blaine in shock, “W-wait, you never tried funnel cake before?” Sam asked.

Blaine looked dazed sniffing the smell that strongly clung to the air, “No, not yet, it that bad?”

Kurt tightened his hand in Blaine’s, “Today’s your lucky day,” Kurt laughed looking up at Sam and tilted his head towards the funnel cake station, internally talking to him.

“That’s it!” Sam shouted gripping Kurt’s arm, throwing the bag of cotton candy on the ground as he held out his arm in front of him and pushed through the line. “Excuse me, birthday boy coming through; pardon me; we’ve got to give this noob some funnel cakes, we’re desperate, thank you,” Sam muttered pushing people aside and pulling roughly at Kurt’s arm until the three reached to front of the line, Kurt and Blaine laughing at his side. Sam reached into his pocket and rudely threw a couple of bills on the table and crossed his arms, “Sir, this line is shit.” Sam gestured at Blaine before continuing, “You see, this poor child, has been neglected of the delectable funnel cake his whole life, I’m honestly ashamed of you,” Sam rubbed his hand on his forehead faking a hurt expression on his face, “on his birthday too!” he shouted then leaned on the table giving a small smile and pointed to a styrofoam plate of funnel cake steaming in the lights. “One plate of funnel cake with powdered sugar sprinkled on the top, please.”

The man glared at him before handing him the hot plate with white powder poured heavily on top of it. Sam muttered thanks and gave the plate to Blaine pulling the three of them out the line to a less congested part of the carnival. Blaine unlatched his hand from Kurt and held the plate in both of his hands lifting it to his nose to smell it. He rubbed his finger along the plate until his hand touched a piece of the cake. He held onto the chunk noticing that he has to rip it off from the cake that covered the whole plate. Blaine raised the cake to his lips and took in the new taste as he slid the piece into his mouth. There was the perfect amount of powder that complimented the warm cake. Blaine closed his eyes humming sounds of contentment chewing slowly then picked at the cake with his powdered fingers, ripping off a bigger piece and popping it into his mouth smiling brightly. “I’m going to take it that you like it,” Kurt laughed. Blaine nodded holding out the plate to Sam and Kurt.

The boys finished off the plate while Kurt and Sam eyed around the carnival at the activities they could do next. Kurt shook the powder off of his hands and licked his lips watching the Farris Wheel. “Blaine, do you want to go on the Farris Wheel?” Kurt asked holding his hand lightly.

“Sounds fun,” Blaine smiled then made a concerned look. “Wait, Sam, who will you sit with?”

Sam looked around at the other activities not really wanting to go on the Farris Wheel anyway, “Don’t worry, I’ll just sit out on this one, you guys have fun,” Sam smiled patting Blaine on the back watching the two walk towards the brightly lit Wheel and sitting on the bench of the ride. Sam leaned against the rail behind him staring at Kurt and Blaine as they were lifted into the dark sky painted with stars.

Another person leaned against the rail next to Sam watching the Farris Wheel rotate slowly as the passengers’ legs dangled limply in the air. The boy cleared his throat and talked softly, “We used to watch the lights from the carnival together, listening to the shouts of laughter, and smell the funnel cake blowing in the air.” The boy sighed watching Sam closely, “What happened to us?” Sam sniffled turning his head away trying not to cry at the sweet familiar voice he heard, memories slamming into his face from the good to bad turning his vulnerable sadness into strong anger.

He turned his head to the boy and growled, “What do you want, Jesse?”