Something New

“No! I won’t let you do this!” Sam screamed cramming his fists into Karofsky’s and chest wriggling out of his grip.

He managed to run to Jesse and rip the other boy’s hands off of Blaine before Karofsky pulled Sam away from Jesse and Blaine then shoved him, “Hands off, fairy!” he yelled as he pinned the other boy onto the wall.

Sam grew red in anger and gritted he teeth together, “Why do you say that?” he snarled at the jock.

Karofsky retracted his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows at the other boy, “What the hell are you talking about?” he growled clasping his hands tighter and digging his fingers painfully deep into Sam’s arms.

The blonde headed boy bit his angrily at his lip, “Fairy,” he then cheekily smiled at the other boy, “is that because you’re too afraid to admit you’re a fairy yourself?”

Jesse gripped Blaine’s arm and jerked him to the ground as he hesitantly lifted his foot then used all of his force and sent his booted foot into Blaine’s ribs. The boy shrieked on the ground gasped and coughed shivering at the pain shooting through his nerves as he shielded his heavily throbbing head and waited for the beating to stop. After a motionless moment, he widened his eyes as he heard various hits from the other side of the hall as Sam cried out shouts of pain. Jesse whipped his head in the direction of Sam and Karofsky and backed away from the beaten boy on the ground. Sam winced at the pain as he slammed into the wall weakly taking the blows of punches that sharply pounded into his heaving chest as Karofsky blushed furiously and clenched his fist tightly and threw a punch under Sam’s jaw sending the blonde’s head crashing into the cold metal lockers. Sam staggered his feet then slid down the wall breathing short breaths as he crossed his arms protectively lying on the tiled floors limply.

Karofsky widened his eyes at Sam, observed his bloodied fist then looked at Blaine who laid on the ground shaking in complete fear. Jesse pushed Karofsky angrily, “That wasn’t the plan, David! You were only supposed to hold him back while I teach the blind kid a lesson!” Jesse shouted as Karofsky muttered something incoherent under his breath and put his hands up shaking his head as Jesse kneeled next to him and settled a hand on Sam’s shoulder as the other boy scrunched up his face shoving Jesse’s hand off while letting out a cry in pain and shakily crossed his arms. Jesse widened his eyes at the boy struggling to breathe next to him. Did Sam really not feel the same feelings anymore? It’s over? Just like that? Jesse thought sadly looking at the other boy and cleared his tight throat, “Fuck, Sam, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this”.

Sam strained to open eyes giving Jesse a spark of assurance until the look turned into a sharp glare, “Leave m-me alone,” Sam muttered under his tightened jaw, “leave us alone,” he corrected weakly closing his eyes and relaxing into the floor.

“What the hell is going on?” Mr. Shue yelled from the end of the hall craning his neck to look closer at the scene. Karofsky pulled Jesse to his feet and dragged him to run away from the approaching teacher.

Sam whimpered at the sharp pain coursing through his body as his eyes became heavy and suddenly exhausted. The teacher gasped inwardly at the sight and knelt down next to Sam trying to collect himself to figure out what to do, “Sam, open your eyes,” he ordered but the boy lay still except for the shuddering of each breath. Blaine crawled closer to the voice his eyes shining in tears as he groped his ribs in pain. Mr. Shue pulled out his phone and quickly dialed for an emergency truck then bit his lip nervously at the boys. “Blaine, keep your eyes open, okay?” The boy nodded sobbing at the pain and wishing he hurt just as much as Sam did, because he didn’t deserve this. Sam never deserved this much pain. He was like any other boy to fall madly in love unexpectedly. But it all went wrong. Jesse didn’t deserve Sam. Sam deserved someone else.

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Kurt. Why did Kurt come to mind when he thought of Sam deserving someone? He remembered the countless times Sam was very quiet around Kurt, maybe even shy. He always wondered why such an outgoing kid like Sam could be so timid in front of someone like Kurt. He questioned why whenever Kurt would talk to Sam, the blonde would gasp lightly and jerk his arm against Blaine’s hand before answering him. He always pondered why Sam would get uncomfortable talking about Kurt sometimes. It was the same way he acted when he first started his relationship with Jesse. The nervousness and the way he would pause to let out a shaky laugh around Jesse. It was so like Sam to act that way around a person he liked. For some reason, Blaine felt not a sliver of jealousy. The thought of Sam liking Kurt somehow pulled Blaine’s lips into small tender smile. But as the pain grew under his ribs, his head swirled in thought making Blaine tip his head back onto the tiled floor.

Blaine didn’t know what was going on with him. He felt sick to his stomach that he didn’t find out sooner but was also confused as to why thoughts of wanting to break away from it all flickered through his mind. Thoughts running back to the river Sam would always take him when one of them was upset. Thoughts of Sam telling stories of the girl who ran away and actually ‘lived’. The only thing that made Blaine wonder for days about was why the stories always had an unhappy ending. But for the time being, it felt nice. He needed something nice to think about after all that has happened. He needed to think about something nice now. But it seemed impossible to think straight when his best friend is lying next to him enduring such an amount of pain that he didn’t know. He couldn’t hear pain. He couldn’t see pain. But, for some reason, he knew how much he was hurting. Sam was not only beaten by Karofsky, he was heartbroken by Jesse, and his best friend took Kurt away from him. It was too much.

The teacher shook Sam’s shoulder roughly, “Sam, please, wake up!” The boy groaned relaxing his muscles and feeling the pain secede as he drifted into a deep sleep.

“Sam!”

Jesse’s voice was smooth as he talked to the sleeping blonde at his side, “The girl was lonely, she only wanted a friend to talk to. But she was unlike any other girl. She dreamt of sleeping in the towering trees and dancing in the calming breeze. The girl would wear long flowing dresses that made her feel like she ran with the wind and convinced her that she would one day, fly. She longed for the day the wind would sweep her off her feet and take her through the clouds to watch the passing trees and growing cities they flew above. She wished that she could make friends with the birds and learn to chirp their songs. Since there were so many birds, she felt like if she could speak their language, she would always have a friend nearby.

“One day as she raced through the wooded forest of gentle falling leaves, she came across a boy who sat on a damp stump. The blazing orange Sun shined on his face as he smiled brightly at the young girl. ‘I’m boy,’ he said grabbing her hand and holding it happily, the girl widened her eyes at the boy and gave him a toothy grin, ‘I’m girl,’ she giggled pulling his arm closer until they ran together heads to the sky watching the yellow and orange leaves that blew freely in the strong breeze. The boy’s eyes sparkled as he watched the young girl skipping beside him holding her arm out to touch each branch they passed. She held onto him tighter as the trees started to shake violently and the wind blew ferociously through the woods shaking each tree harshly. The boy stopped the girl and pulled her into a tight hug, ‘I have to go,’ he said letting his feet rise from the ground as he was dragged into the wind. The girl held out her hands towards the flying boy watching his smile grow wider as he flew farther away. The girl dropped her head and frowned studying at the still ground below her. She closed her eyes and jumped.”

“What happened?” Sam asked lifting a sleepy eye and wrapping himself in Jesse’s arms.

“She couldn’t fly,” Jesse frowned, “She jumped and jumped but gravity kept pulling her down. She made it all in her head. The boy was running through the woods holding the girls hand in one moment then was swept into the wind breaking away from the girl’s arms in the other. She had no choice but to let him fly away and get ripped away from her small little world. That’s the problem with dreamers. We make things in our head. You could be experiencing the most beautiful thing ever, but nobody believes in imaginary friends, do they?”

Sam stared at the other boy broken then let his head limply lay beside him as Jesse lightly kissed his cheek. “Don’t get swept into the wind and leave me here in gravity,” Sam mumbled into Jesse’s chest. The other boy smiled and rested his head next to Sam snuggling closer to him and felt the comfortable warmth they shared between them.

But he did. Jesse flew higher and higher becoming more unreal and breaking further away as Sam sank lower to the ground until he was beaten into a pulp by the memories of Jesse that kept pulling him back from actually living. But Jesse wasn’t imaginary. He was real. A dreamer. A dreamer Sam knew that his dream would never come true because he will never get Sam. So Jesse could fly higher and higher but the only thing that will happen is make Sam not want to be with him more and more. Sam felt brightly colored lights shining on him as he groaned in discomfort feeling his back settle on stretcher and hearing shouts around him. Sam just wanted silence so he could go back to sleep to the peaceful moment he broke from. Then he remembered what happened earlier. Memories rushed through him, his head swelling in too much thought. Tears welled in his eyes as he thought of what Jesse and Karofsky did, he just wanted sleep; that was it. But instead he was forced to listen to people crowding around him as thoughts charged its way into his head. Not to mention the immensely throbbing pain that rocked through every nerve of his body. No, I can’t take this, he thought sniffing and relaxing his body into a fuzzy dreamless sleep.

“Have you seen Blaine ever since… you know?” Rachel asked as Kurt, across the table, lowered the papers from shielding his eyes then glared at her not breaking the glance as he took a long sip of the scorching coffee letting the liquid sting down his throat before he adjusted his glasses and continued ignoring her question.

Sam woke to quiet whimpers next to his ear as he lifted his eyes to see Blaine hunched over sitting on the bed clutching the blankets and crying at the boy covered in bruises and scratches. Blaine obviously recovered quickly, no broken bones, just some bruises, but Sam wouldn’t be able to get out of the hospital bed for at least a week. This wasn’t the first time he’s seen Sam like this, but it would be the last, he was sure of that.

“Seriously, Kurt, have you?” Kurt slammed the papers on the coffee table with such force their coffee cups rattled into stability.

“Yes, Rachel,” the girl twisted the cup in her hands not looking him in the eye.

“How is he?” she asked mono toned.

Kurt rubbed his forehead then lifted the papers to his face, “He- he’s moved on,” he said softly then added, “now please stop interrupting”. The girl rolled her eyes and slumped a little more in her seat listening closely as Kurt read.

Sam bit his lip looking down at his casted and bandaged body, “Oh, God damn it,” he whispered and sighed resting his head back into the cushioned pillow.

“Sam,” Blaine sniffed inching closer to him as Sam furrowed his eyebrows at the anxious boy.

“What’s wrong, bud?” he seemed to choke out, his throat dry and scratched. Blaine scrunched up his face into another heavy sob as he grasped Sam’s hand tightly. Kurt reached the doorframe of the hospital room then slowed his steps watching the two. Blaine took a breath hastily and dropped his head as tears ran fast down his flushed cheeks squeezing Sam’s hand tightly. “Seriously, Blaine, what’s go-,”

“I’m leaving,” Blaine sat on his knees biting his lip and loosening his grip on Sam’s hand.

Sam lifted his eyebrows at the crying boy, “Okay, so are you coming back to visit in a couple of hours?” Sam asked casually.

“No, Sam,” Blaine said turning his head to Sam not looking him at the eye, but, God, he wished he did. “I’m leaving Lima”.

“Kurt, you’re hiding something,” Rachel said quickly setting her coffee on the table.

Kurt set the stack of papers on the table and slipped his glasses off cleaning them roughly with his button downed shirt. “Damn it, Rachel, what did I say?” he said annoyed pushing the glasses back on his face and taking another sip of coffee.

Rachel reached a hand onto the stack of papers attempting to block him reading more, “Kurt,” she said softly watching the man shift uncomfortably in the seat across from her.

Kurt took a deep breath and studied the nervous girl, “Blaine’s married to a girl”.

Rachel shook her head releasing her hand, “there’s something else you’re not telling me,” she said setting her hands in her lap and toying with the pair of gloves in her hands.

Kurt gripped the papers angrily, “Must you be so damn noisy? He’s married with kids. There! Happy?” he said a little too loud for such a small shop.

Rachel clasped her hands together and sat a little straighter. “Yes,” she took a sip of coffee and smiled at Kurt gesturing to the now wrinkled papers in his hands, “Continue”.

“When were you planning on telling me?” Kurt said sharply stepping into the room studying Blaine’s broken expression on his face.

“Kurt,” Blaine cried fisting a hand in the other boy’s shirt. Kurt wrapped his hand in Blaine’s and pulled it off of his shirt aggressively letting it dangle at his side. “Kurt,” Blaine shook his head in regret then sniffed, “Kurt, I was going to tell you,” he took a deep breath not knowing how he was going to say it. Someone will get hurt one way or another, “I have to go. Jesse’s- he’s still out there, Kurt, and he’s looking to beat me up, I know it. I- I heard him,” Blaine lifted his head trying desperately to look into Kurt’s eyes, “I don’t feel safe here”.

Kurt turned red in anger, “What about me? Hell, what about us?” he grabbed the other boy’s hand and shook it in the air before releasing it, “Does love mean anything to you?” he choked letting tears fall from his eyes, his head swirling in emotions.

Blaine reached out his arms to hold Kurt, “I love you,” he sobbed into his chest soaking his tears into his shirt. “But, I- I also love knowing that you and Sam are safe,” he said pushing himself from Kurt’s chest, “I’m pretty sure Jesse and Karofsky won’t bother you guys anymore when I’m gone and I think it’s about time for me to meet people who will accept my disability because… their just like me,” he smiled through his tears then let out a nervous laugh, “plus, where I’m going will have endless amounts non-broken typewriters for me to use”. Kurt bit his lip and stared hard at Blaine’s face. He knew this was what Blaine wanted but he felt that they just started this new relationship, how could this end so quickly?

“Sam,” Blaine said softly after a moment of silence, the other boy sniffed wiping at the fresh tears that slipped from his eyes.

“Blaine, you’re my best bud, but, if this is what you want, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t support you?” he said, lip quivering as his body shook under the bandages in sadness. 

Blaine reached across the bed and hugged him making sure he didn’t hurt Sam as he did. “I swear, I’ll visit you as soon as I can”. Sam tried to squeeze him tighter, but it hurt too much. This was his best friend. The friend he grew up with and shared countless memories with. It was almost as if someone cut off one of Sam’s limbs, the feeling of something missing. As much as he hated to admit it, he loved Blaine, of course not in that way but it was ‘love’ non-the-less. 

“Kurt, I- I wanted to sing you a song before I leave to ‘The Ohio State School for the Blind’,” he raised his eyebrows as he said the school name then sniffed holding Kurt’s hand. Kurt hummed in reply as he nodded his head sniffing and wiping at the tears on his cheeks. Blaine took a deep breath and began singing.

“And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

“I've lived a life that's full
I've traveled each and ev'ry highway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way

“Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

“I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way.

“Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

“I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill; my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

“To think I did all that
And may I say - not in a shy way
‘No, oh no not me
I did it my way

“For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!”

Blaine held out the last note with so much passion and strength, yes, he did it his own unique way and that’s what Kurt will remember the most about him. Kurt bit his lip and let warm tears streak down his face as he forced a smile, “I will always love you,” he whispered kissing the corner of Blaine’s lips for the last time. That’s what hurt so much, this day was the last for everything. The last time Blaine sang to him. The last time they would be considered a couple. The last kiss. And through all of this, Kurt wasn’t prepared for this type of pain, even Sam wasn’t. This was a chance for them to move on. To move on from all of the pain Jesse caused and have a fresh start. Kurt frowned at the words, ‘fresh start’, it sounds uplifting but would it feel as much? The only way he would find out was if he tried. So he did. You can’t have the past keeping you from moving on to doing greater things, what’s the point of that? We were given a life to live. That sounded better. To live.

Kurt pressed the papers down in with a heavy sigh pulling of his glasses and stared out the window. Rachel let out a heavy sigh and smiled, “Kurt, you’re an amazing writer”.

Kurt looked at the girl with tears welling in his eyes, “Rach, I just want to move on but this- this stupid book is keeping me back because no damn publisher wants this!” he cried pushing the papers further away from him letting his tears spill onto his cheeks that shined in the faint color of pink.

“It’s not stupid,” a voice sounded from beside the table.

Kurt looked up at the blonde boy and wiped hastily at his cheeks and blinking rapidly to make sure he was seeing right. “Sam,” he said quietly studying the other boys matured face. God he changed.

“Well, I’ve got to get going. My Dads and I have this- this thing. It was great to see you, Kurt,” Rachel said scrambling to collect her gloves, purse, and coffee while quickly planting a light kiss on Kurt’s cheek and giving a short glance at Sam as she rushed out of the shop.

“Hi, Kurt,” Sam breathed, his hands suddenly becoming sweaty at the sight of this- this beautiful human being. What gives him the right? The right to sit there so innocently looking up in his direction as his cheeks were flushed lightly and hair neatly gelled into place. Sam bit his lip and rocked on the balls of his feet to keep him from groaning. Kurt broke into a smile then gestured to the booth seat across from him. Sam settled into the seat keeping his hands in his lap as he stared at Kurt, he couldn’t look away from those bright grey blue eyes the shined at such a perfect angle, it was almost perfect. No, it was perfect. He was perf- uh, a g-great guy. Yeah. That’s it.

“So what’s that you got there?” Sam asked flicking his eyes to the stack of papers that rested on the table near Kurt.

The other man shook his head from gazing at Sam and looked down at the bundle, “A book,” Kurt said casually yet sitting stiff and returned to watching Sam closely.

The other man gave a small smile, “Can I?” he asked shrugging his shoulders.

Kurt licked his lips absently and gave a tiny nod, “Sure”. Sam raised his eyebrows slightly before he reached across the table and flipped to the last page. Oh, great, Kurt thought to himself regretting the drabble he wrote at the very end of the story. It was complete nonsense. Sam glanced at Kurt before reading the words out loud:

“What exactly was living? The definition of living is to exist or experience. How could I experience anything after all that happened? How can I experience life cooped up in a small town of Ohio? How can I experience love when the love of my life has been ripped from my arms and given to a girl? A girl! How can I move on and exist in the world when I spend my living writing books that don’t even get published? How could I possibly move on? Dreams that don’t come true only leave me here wondering why I sit through this all. Watching my friends go on to live greater lives and waiting for mine to begin. But it won’t. It won’t until I move on. It seems impossible now but maybe in time I can accept that things won’t always go the way I wanted them to. And when that day happens, that will be something to see”.

After a long moment, Sam read the words over and over until he converted them to memory then lifted his head to Kurt. “Who taught you to write like that?” he asked him curiously.

Kurt grinned nervously and took a quick sip from the coffee, “I learned from the best,” he laughed. Sam smiled settling the book down and ran his hands lightly over the cover soaking in the silence.

Sam took a deep breath and smiled at the other man, “Kurt I know that we haven’t seen each other in a long time but I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner with me tonight”.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows at the other boy then held tightly to the cup, “Like a date?” he asked suddenly feeling a weird pull in his stomach regretting that he asked.

Sam broke into a smile and drummed his fingertips on the table, “Like a date,” he repeated. Kurt bit his lip and studied Sam’s face. Maybe it was time to move on. Sam is a fantastic guy and on the plus side, he’s cute. This was his opportunity to get his mind away from what happened years ago and onto something new. That sounded better. Something new.

And that sounded like a great title for his next book, Kurt laughed to himself and twisted his coffee in his hands, “Sure”.