Chapter 4

Kurt pressed his palms into the sink and tried to catch his breath as his looked up at his reflection. He’d been running to the bathroom after every scene just because he couldn’t take it. The man he hated so passionately was nailing every line and note. Even his dancing was superb. He sighed and wiped the beading sweat on his forehead. When he returned his eyes to his reflection, he raised a finger to the mirror, “I hate you so much.”

“What a coincidence, we both hate you!” Blaine laughed stepping into the bathroom and rolling his sleeves up. He quickly washed his hands and wriggled the water from his fingers, splattering the access water on Kurt.

“Watch it!” he squeaked shoving Blaine in the chest.

“Aw, you don’t have to be jealous, Kurt,” he said pouting a bottom lip out and looking at him.

“I’m not jealous, Blaine,” Kurt retorted crossing his arms.

“No, no, no, I’m in stage mode,” he adjusted his collar and glared at Kurt, “my name is Frankie.”

“Hm, cocky too? I don’t think Sherry would like that too much,” he smiled watching him leave the bathroom.

Before the door was closed, Blaine poked his head through the crack, “Sherry loves it,” he smiled with a wink and he was gone.

Kurt groaned and shook his head. This was going to be a long week.

It was a few day since his first show and he was just starting to get a hang of things. Where everything was set up, all of the names of the cast and crew, and what each character needed to wear. But the only problem was Blaine. He was distracting. How can Kurt work with Blaine shooting glares and expressing his hatred in sign language when other people weren’t looking? Today was different. Blaine was giddy and couldn’t stop grinning. He even giggled when he was singing in practice. Once all of the scenes were rehearsed to perfection Abby touched Kurt’s shoulder, still facing the mass and let out a loud whistle, grabbing the cast and crews attention. “We have an announcement! Gather!” Abby shouted standing on the tippy toes with a big grin. She turned her head to Kurt, who was standing right next to her, and mouthed “Sorry I didn’t tell you” then turned back to the crowd. “Okay, our original Frankie got a movie gig in San Francisco and won’t be back with us for the next six months. So to fill in, Blaine Anderson will be out new Frankie for the rest of the year!” she cheered and grinned when the crowd clapped and hollered happily. Blaine laughed as the cast patted him on the back and smiled excitedly with him. Kurt was frozen. But he had to make a correction; this was going to be a long year.

Kurt pursed his lips together and watched Blaine and Chandler’s hands intertwine, dangling between their bodies as they walked through Central Park. It was the day before Rachel’s big opening show where she invited only Kurt and Blaine. Rachel giggled as Jessie linked his arms in hers. Jessie as Rachel Berry’s manager? Well, that was obviously a lie. He was sick of these little “dates” he kept on getting forced to go to. He was sick of mentally barfing at the other dates while he had to be the fifth wheel. But the stupid plan kept him declining invitation or leaving. Kurt stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground, then up at Blaine and Chandler’s hands, then at the ground, then up at their hands, then at the ground, then up at their- “I gotta go,” Kurt said quietly turning around and heading towards his apartment. Could anyone blame him? They really can’t expect Kurt to have a good time when he doesn’t have a date with him, which seemed utterly impossible with his busy schedule and apparent lack of appeal. Kurt shook his head and bit his lip. This was how he started to end each of their “dates” Rachel would assign. Blame his leaving on nonexistent homework and unnecessary preparing for the next show. He honestly never felt so disconnected from Rachel. They couldn’t even relate that much anymore due to their different jobs and pay checks. It was silly to think that was the reason but with Blaine squeezing as much time in to hang out with Rachel, those were his conclusions. He can’t even remember the last time Rachel called him on the phone crying about Finn. She was too excited about her new job and manager. Kurt felt sick to his stomach.

“Kurt, wait,” Blaine called, jogging after him and appeared to be annoyed.

“Look, you don’t have to run after me every time I want to leave, you can’t change my mind that I hate hanging out with you guys. So you can go back to your dearest Chandler,” Kurt waved him away.

Blaine raised his eyebrows then turned around, “Fine by me,” he called beginning to leave.

“Seriously?” Kurt asked disgusted. Blaine was a typical man who doesn’t understand if a woman is okay or upset.

Blaine chuckled and patted him on the shoulder, “I was joking. Plus all this running after you is doing wonders for my body and my acting skills. Rachel is really convinced I care about you!”

“How touching,” Kurt gave him an acted dazed look then glared at him.

“Hmm, Mr. Sassy-pants is back, I see,” Blaine glanced up at the darkening sky.

Kurt gave him a shocked look, “Who said he ever left?” The other man chuckled then raised his eyebrows when Kurt stopped walking. “Uhm, I noticed you never talk about your job around us or anything,” he stated looking back at the distant Chandler, Rachel, and Jessie.

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded, “You see, Chandler doesn’t really like my-,”

“Wait, he doesn’t like your job? But he loves Broadway!” Kurt interrupted.

“No,” the other man sighed, “No, Chandler loves Broadway, don’t get me wrong, but he doesn’t like that I have to kiss Sherry almost every night of the week”.

Kurt gave him a questioning look, “But it’s acting-,”

“Yeah, but he thinks it’s cheating. I really like Chandler but I hate how protective he is. He won’t even come to one of my shows because he afraid he’ll catch me cheating or something. Ugh, it’s hard to explain-,”

“No, I understand,” Kurt assured, “But he’s just a fucking freak”.

“Don’t talk about my boyfriend like that!” Blaine yelled eyes cold and sharp.

Kurt widened his eyes, taken aback. He then furrowed his eyebrows angrily, “Your boyfriend will never get to see how good of a performer you are because of that stupid philosophy of his, and you’re yelling at me for acknowledging that?” he shouted just as loud. “Fuck you and your boyfriend, Blaine Anderson”. Kurt shook his head and walked faster towards his apartment, this time with no footsteps chasing after him. Was it weird he felt empty for not hearing the familiar steps chasing behind him?

I broke up with my boyfriend, happy? – Jerk

Actually no, I don’t care – Kurt

Yeah, well I DO – Asshole

Then why’d you do it? – Kurt

Because you were right – Dickhead

You didn’t have to – Kurt

Yes I did – Blaine

No, you didn’t – Kurt

Shut up and tell me something funny – Blaine

Don’t you have Rachel for that? – Kurt

She’s no Sassy pants – Blaine

Ugh, fine. Knock Knock – Kurt

Who’s there? – Blaine

Sleeping Kurt – Kurt

Sleeping Kurt who? – Blaine

Kurt? – Blaine

Sleeping Kurt who? – Blaine

Oh, very funny, priss pants – Blaine

Sweet dreams – Blaine

Bitch – Blaine

I don’t want to go to the show – Kurt

You don’t have a choice – Blaine

Yeah, that’s why – Kurt

Why are you telling me this? – Blaine

Because I can’t tell Rachel – Kurt

Yeah, it’s like I’m forbidden to stop acting like I enjoy your presence in front of her – Blaine

Same here – Kurt

What are we going to do? – Blaine

What do you mean? – Kurt

I mean, how are we going to convince Rachel that we’re best friends without really trying? – Blaine

I don’t know, but a plus is that she can’t really see us from the stage – Kurt

No, Kurt, we have FRONT ROW SEATS. She can see EVERYTHING – Blaine

Shit – Kurt

That’s why we need a plan – Blaine

I don’t know, like, just stare at her with a big smile – Kurt

MY CHEEKS ARE GOING TO BURN – Blaine

Suck it up, priss pants – Kurt

Hey! That’s my line! - Blaine

They walked through the theater doors and settled at their front row seats flipping through their playwrights. Blaine pointed at Rachel’s name on the page to Kurt and smiled. He grinned at her name and nodded, cursing under his breath that Blaine’s smile was so infectious. The lights around the theater flickered a few times then went dark. Everyone shot their eyes toward the broad red curtains that dramatically sweeped open across the wooden stage then the lights filled the box. Once their eyes hit Rachel, Blaine and Kurt gasped then grinned up at her, clutching at their playwrights. Then she opened her mouth, her golden voice capturing hearts and dragging tears from her phenomenal voice and puncturing every ear with her crystal-like sound. Blaine gaped at her then wrapped his hand in Kurt’s. He squeezed in return as if every sign of hatred completely vanished from the beautiful music escaping Rachel’s mouth. The show was absolutely breathtaking; she perfectly acted out every scene, voice spot on through every lyric and line. Blaine and Kurt clung onto their entwined hands in awe of Mrs. Rachel Berry, not once during the show did they let go, not even during intermission. Kurt tore his hand from Blaine’s once the cast stepped out on stage in a line; he stood at clapped furiously with Blaine. He screamed Rachel’s name and she smiled, tears visible in her eyes. And that was typical Rachel Berry. When the night ended, Blaine left early after a quick congratulations to Rachel and Kurt stayed by her side even when she was signing autographs. Rachel returned the pen to the last fan then turned to Kurt, she kissed his cheek sweetly then grinned. “I saw you holding hands with Blaine,” she stated.

Kurt decided not to ruin her perfect night with a retort but just wrapped her into a hug, “We’re just so proud of you”. It was true though. Even though Blaine could relate to her more, he couldn’t deny their same level of admiration towards this girl.

Could he make another correction? This was going to be and excruciatingly long year. Blaine held onto the microphone with both hands and wiggled his hips ridiculously. But it wasn’t ridiculous. He caught the audience’s attention and outshined the rest. His voice was admiral and dancing spot on. Clearly the best replacement yet. Kurt was dying there, at times can’t take his eyes off of him and at others he would force himself to keep his mind from wandering. He had a plan. Think of all the times Blaine was an asshole (which was a lot) and will himself to pay more attention to the other stage and crew members. But it wasn’t exactly successful; he would find his ears perking to Blaine’s voice whilst thinking of the time when Blaine gave Kurt water instead of Diet Coke (one of his worst moments). It wasn’t fair, nothing was working. He would curse under his breath every time he’d catch Blaine during a costume change backstage, then make a crude comment and leave. He didn’t know if he was acting mad or was actually mad at Blaine at this point.

“Like what you see, Hummel?” Blaine asked shimmying into a pair of pants. Kurt let out an embarrassing chuckle then crossed his arms shaking his head and trying to avoiding Blaine’s hands buttoning his pants and tucking his collared shirt in.

“Nope,” he simply said, “Plus I can’t interfere with you and Sheeeerryyyy,” Kurt sang the name like one of the show’s number “Sherry” then scowled at Blaine.

“Sherry’s not here,” Blaine said watching him through his eyelashes, keeping his New Jersey dialect thick and approached him closer. He skimmed his eyes across Kurt’s body then stepped dangerously close that if Kurt didn’t know any better, he would do unimaginable things.

Kurt cleared his throat. Quick, make a conceded neck roll, a snarky remark, a shove, something, he thought. No, he did none of that, just allowed Blaine to step closer, his blood swarming in warmth, cheeks feeling pink. MOVE IT, KURT, he thought. “Uh,” he let out shakily breath, and then made a nervous chuckle, “But Frankie is straight”.

Blaine ran his hand through his gelled hair, still in character and lowered his head so that his mouth was next to Kurt’s ear, warm breath tickling his skin, “Frankie doesn’t believe in sexual orientation. It’s the 60’s, baby,” he said seductively, Jersey dialect on tongue. SHITFUCKINGHELLDAMN.

“I-,” he breathed feeling Blaine nuzzle his nose into his neck, “You should-,” he gasped pressing his hands to Blaine’s chest to gently push him away, “You should get back on stage, Frankie” he said shakily.

Blaine raised his eyebrows then slowly nodded, “Fine, Sherry’s waiting for me anyways,” he smiled then slipped through the curtains. Before Kurt could breathe, Blaine poked his head through the curtains once more, “Until next time,” a wink, a grin, and then he left.

“WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?” Kurt yelled thankful that the stage was so loud that no one heard his outburst. It took a few Diet Cokes to calm down his nerves and then he was back to work, being sassier than before.

When the show was over, most of the staff headed home but Kurt stayed after, cleaning from the mess of that show. He carried a few boxes and headed toward a hall of dressing rooms then spotted Blaine tying his laces on his shoes in his dressing room with the door wide open. He didn’t know he was staring that long until someone tapped Kurt on the shoulder. He turned to see Abby holding a clipboard and smiling at him, “Kurt, could you do something for me?”

“Sure, what do you need Abbs?” he asked setting down a pile of empty boxes.

She smiled at the nickname then pointed at Blaine, “Frankie was a bit weird today, could you talk to him please?”

“Uh,” Kurt looked down at his shoes then nodded, “Sure, yeah”.

“Thank you so much, Kurt!” she giggled skipping out of the theater.

Kurt watched her leave then picked up the boxes and entered Blaine’s room, setting them on his counter. He swiveled in his place seeing Blaine still hunched over, tying his shoe. “I see you’re a slow shoe tier too?”

“Huh?” he asked out of character then snapped his focus to Kurt.

“You, uh, you tie your shoelaces slow,” he pointed out.

Blaine tilted his head, finishing his knot then stood next to Kurt, “I was hoping nobody would notice,” he said monotone.

“It’s okay, I’m a fellow slow shoe tier too,” he muffled a laugh then watched Blaine smile sleepily at that. “So, what’s wrong, you’re acting really weird tonight,” Kurt blinked at the other man who pulled out his phone.

“Uhm,” he clicked through his phone and made a choked sob, then cleared his throat. “Chandler keeps sending me texts of lyrics from songs I used to sing to him,” he tucked his phone in his pocket and stared blankly at the carpeted floor, “And I, uh, I miss him,” he said tiredly running a hand through his hair.

“Is that why Frankie tried to get a piece of this?” Kurt pointed to his own chest.

Blaine chuckled half heartedly, “Yeah, but you didn’t seem to mind,” he smiled but he didn’t seem to be the mood to be cocky.

Kurt hummed then laughed, “Something about Frankie. It must be the dialect”.

“He has a way with words,” Blaine said unenergetically tugging on a backpack and turning back to Kurt. There was a break of Blaine looking at the ground as Kurt was staring at the ceiling, he dragged his vision down and met his eyes with Blaine’s. The other man quickly averted his eyes then shook his head leaving the dressing room. Kurt followed behind him but couldn’t keep up because Blaine picked up his feet and ran out of the theater.

Can I ask what just happened? – Kurt

No – Blaine

Blaine made sure to avoid Kurt all night on the next day’s show. And that made him furious especially after he left all of a sudden like that. Kurt came up with two conclusions. Either he had really bad breath or saw a ghost. He was leaning towards the ghost thing because let’s face it; Kurt Hummel never has bad breath. Even his morning breath has a hint of mint on his tongue. And that takes talent.

How about now? – Kurt

It’s none of your business – Blaine

It is when it’s cutting into your work – Kurt

No, it won’t cut into my work – Blaine

Then do you mind telling me why you blew that note last night? – Kurt

That’s different, I was sick – Blaine

TELL ME WHAT’S UP OR I WON’T GIVE YOU FREE DINNER – Kurt

Jesus, Chandler is coming to the show tomorrow night – Blaine

Wow, using a gay man’s name and Jesus in the same sentence? – Kurt

I’m serious – Blaine

Yeah, yeah, I get it but I don’t understand why that piece of information could make you screw up so bad last night – Kurt

Because, it’s Chandler – Blaine

What is up with you and Chandler? – Kurt

We’re talking again. And this is the first time he’s coming to one of my performances – Blaine

Oh – Kurt

Oh? I’m literally freaking out and all you can say is “Oh”? – Blaine

What do you expect me to do? – Kurt

I don’t know – Blaine

Just support me or whatever – Blaine

I kind of owe you that don’t I? After last month and all – Kurt

You don’t owe me anything; it’s all up to you – Blaine

Fine. Good luck, I guess – Kurt

That’s all I need – Blaine

Kurt was angrily pulling costumes on hangers and shoving them into dressing rooms after the next day’s show. He gathered garbage into big bags then finished the night groaning and pushing a few props into boxes then looked at the cleared stage, ready to finally leave. He removed his tag then stuffed it into his pocket. He decided to go through the back door tonight, he figured out a new short cut and was planning on only using on his exhausting days, and this was definitely it. On the plus side, there was a trash bin outside as well. Kurt sighed pushing open the heavy door with a few bags in his hands and skipped down the steep steps. He turned his head slightly and saw Blaine pressing another body into the brick wall of the theater, firmly planting his lips on what seemed to be Chandlers, tilting his head obscenely to get what he assumed a better taste of his not-so ex-boyfriend anymore. Kurt must’ve made a noise because the two broke off with a lewd sound and whipped their heads toward him, flushed cheeks and sore lips. And what came next was most certainly unexpected. The garbage bags dropped at his sides and tears pooled onto Kurt cheeks as he began to run through the dark night spotted by neon lights that blurred into a mess of colors. He sobbed uncontrollably as he half ran, half jogged towards the pet shop. Once his feet were planted on the sidewalk outside of the shop he rested his forehead on the glass and forced his vision to look into the store. He flicked his eyes to the cage, cold, empty, gone. He was gone. Sampson. Sammy. His puppy boy. The one thing he wanted to spoil and treat better than life has treated himself over the years. The one thing to look forward to come home every day was gone. Kurt slammed a fist on the glass, “Sampson!” he cried out knowing that he would never hear an answer. Never see the smiling face, happy bark, or any essence that could possibly make him feel happier. He sobbed into the glossy window jamming his fists alternatively between the glass and into his legs as if it would punish himself for not getting the puppy before it was too late. He felt bruises forming into his sides but he didn’t stop, he hit harder until his legs gave in and he was toppled onto the ground, crying into the concrete. He sniffed and tried to pull himself together. He winced at the pain of his legs as he struggled to sit up; he reached into his pocket and plucked his phone out. He clicked an emergency contact then lifted the phone up to his ear. He then wiped sloppily at his eyes and heard the other line ringing.

“Daddy?” he asked then sniffed sadly. Praying to hear the soothing voice on the other line. To know that there was someone out there who actually cared about him. To know that there was still someone out there wishing that he was amongst some of the things he looked forward to coming home to. Kurt pushed the phone closer to his ear ignoring the loud traffic that was unsuccessfully interrupting his constant thoughts.

“Son? Are you-,” Burt huffed on the other line then was a silent, “Kurt, someone hurt you, didn’t they?” he yelled angrily.

Kurt was quiet but before Burt could protest, he quickly spoke up, “No, no, Daddy,” he let a few more tears slide down his cheeks, “I hurt me”.