Oct. 20, 2012, 1:52 p.m.
Tormented: Chapter 19
E - Words: 2,441 - Last Updated: Oct 20, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 38/38 - Created: Dec 18, 2011 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 1,522 0 2 0 0
"Stop saying that you're sorry." He sounded tired and shifted on his bed a little. He turned in Blaine's arms so he could stare up into his eyes. Blaine closed his own, feeling guilty.
"But I screw everything up. And everyone found out not one hour ago. I am sorry. I'm sorry I screwed up. This is all my fault." His head hit the pillow. He felt a thump against his chest and knew that Kurt had hit him lightly.
"Shut up! I don't want you to be sorry! You don't need to be because it's not your fault-"
"But it is." Blaine said quietly, leaving his eyes shut and head resting against Kurt's pillow. "I'm the one who gave you that advice in the beginning. I'm the one who tried to help. I'm the one who kissed you. Face it. I started everything. It may not of been me directly, but it was a chain of events started by me."
Kurt scowled, even though Blaine couldn't see it.
"I don't blame you for anythi-"
"You should." Blaine said bluntly.
"-The advice you gave me helped me. It made me realize I'm stronger than I originally thought. And you did help. Ever since I started at Dalton, I've slowly been starting to feel better. Like I'm myself. And that's with the help of you." Blaine shook his head, denying he did anything that actually helped Kurt. "And as for the kiss..." Blaine's eyes flew open. He watched Kurt intently, trying to figure out what he was trying to say before he said it. "Yes, I'll admit it gave me a flashback. And that scared me. But I know you, Blaine. You don't think sometimes before you do something. I could of seen it coming... but I didn't." Kurt shifted so he was sort of sitting, but also leaning slightly over Blaine. He wanted to look him in eye when he said this. "I'm also not going to lie. I've wanted you to kiss me for a while now."
Blaine felt his heart pick up speed as Kurt said this. His eyes searching the boys face to see if he was lying.
"And..." Kurt blushed and closed his eyes for a millisecond. "I want to kiss you again. Slower this time. So I can see it's you." Kurt's voice sounded shaky as he spoke, as if he was scared of Blaine's reaction.
Blaine was shocked, and he couldn't move from his place on the bed. His arms were at his sides, and he wished he could force them up to hold Kurt. "Yes." He breathed out, his feeling as if it would beat out of his chest.
A small smile graced Kurt's lips before he let out another shaky breath. He slowly began to lean down, closer to Blaine's face. He stopped when he could feel Blaine's breath.
"Thank you." He whispered, his eyes not leaving Blaine's.
"For what?" Blaine asked quietly, blowing cool air onto Kurt's lips.
"Everything."
And then Kurt closed the remaining space between them, their lips brushing together softly.
It was sweet and chaste. Unlike their last kiss, which had seemed rushed and desperate in comparison.
Kurt felt safe in that moment. He knew it was Blaine. And he knew that he was in control.
And it was perfect.
"Is it true?" Mercedes' voice reached Finn's ears, but he couldn't make himself speak. He was frozen, staring at the door at which Kurt and Blaine had left through.
Wes let go of Quinn, who immediately shoved him away and sit down, scowling.
The silence was tense. Close to unbearable. Mr. Schue was the one who broke it.
"Finn?" The boy in question finally looked away from the door and looked at his teacher. "Is what you said true?"
Finn didn't know why they kept asking him that. He obviously wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true.
"Yes." His voice was quiet, and he turned away from them; not wanting to see their faces.
A silence fell upon them. It felt as though they were mourning.
But mourning for what?
"But why didn't he tell us?" This was from Rachel, and she frowned once everyone turned to look at her, making her feel stupid.
"Put yourself in his shoes, Rachel." Tina spoke quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "If you were... raped you wouldn't want us to know, would you? The gossip at this school get's around quickly, and soon enough everyone would know." Rachel shook her head.
"That's not what I meant. Why didn't he tell us how bad his bullying was getting."
"That's just it." Quinn said, shocking everyone by speaking. "He did. Plus, we were there most of the time. We saw it happening. We saw him falling apart, piece by piece. And we did nothing. We let the jocks have their way with Kurt. We let it get worse. We turned a blind eye on all of it." She didn't look at them once when she spoke, and they were once again thrown into an uncomfortable silence.
"But then Blaine came along." It was Finn who spoke now. "Blaine noticed the second they met. He just knew. And he did what we didn't. He helped Kurt. Maybe in not the best way at first, but he still did it when we didn't. God knows what he did when Kurt transferred." Wes' eyebrows flew up.
"Actually, I'm not God." New Directions seemed to have forgotten Wes' presence. At first they scowled, but once they realized that he was wearing the Dalton uniform, they softened, knowing that Wes could fill them in. "I'm pretty sure when Kurt was here, he was different. But when he was at Dalton, he quiet and reserved. He didn't really want to make friends, or try hard in his classes. He was with Blaine every second and it was rare to see them apart. From what Blaine's told me, hes does most of Kurt's work for him. He talks to Kurt whenever he needs a friend. He did everything in his power to help Kurt. The other students guessed something bad had happened, though we never came close to the truth. Kurt wakes up screaming every night. He wakes up half the school each time. But none of has said anything, because we knew that Kurt was damaged. We knew he needed help. And reporting him just because he was disturbing our sleep wasn't going to help. Blaine was like Kurt's hero. His knight in shining armor. With out Blaine, who knows were Kurt would be right now?"
"Not raped?" Quinn interjected.
"You can't guarantee that." Wes said, defending his friends.
"Oh really? The only thing Blaine told me was that he gave some shitty advice that Kurt followed that ended him up like that." Wes scowled.
"Blaine gave him more than one piece of advice. He gave him a choice. I know Blaine. And I'm ninety percent sure that he would of given him three options. Running away, letting it continue, or standing up for himself. He also would've mentioned how much he regretted running away from his own bullied, and I don't think Kurt was adamant that his own bullying was to continue. But if you think about it, Kurt would stood up for himself sooner or later. And it would have still happened. Or he would've let it continue, and made his own way out..." He left them to come up with their own ideas on to what Kurt might have done had he let the bullying continue. And what was running through their minds wasn't pretty. Most thoughts contained Kurt self-harming, or committing suicide in one way or another.
"Blaine helped him. You can try to deny it as much as you want, but he did. And that was more than any of you ever did." With a final look at each member, Wes made his way out of the room, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence. Again.
They all felt horrible. With only the smallest bit of pity. But the pity they felt was small for one reason.
They felt guilty.
They all felt responsible for not helping Kurt sooner. And before the guilt they had tried to deny it and blame Blaine. But after what Wes had said, they would be idiots to carry on thinking that. So they let the guilt sink in. They let themselves feel responsible.
And they would do anything to make it up to Kurt.
"Don't leave!"
They were still laying on the bed, only now they were back to spooning. Blaine had only uttered that he should go to the garage to find Burt and tell him what happened. The second it had left his mouth Kurt had grabbed onto Blaine's hand tightly and then refused to let him go. He had then muttered those words, sounding scared.
"Kurt, he needs to know. I'm not going to be too long-"
"But what if Finn comes back before you? What if he brings the glee club? I can't face them, Blaine." He sounded broken, and Blaine didn't want to leave him in case he was right.
"You can come with me?" He whispered, kissing Kurt's hair lightly.
"Oh, yeah. Yes."
They laid in silence for a few more minutes before they decided to get up. Kurt walked past his blazer, not bothering to put it back and waited by the door while Blaine shoved on his own. They then quickly slipped on their shoes before walking out and into Blaine's car. The drive was short and silent, neither boy wanting to break the silence. But both were wondering where they stood now. After both kisses, the last ending in sweet smiles and light blushes before Kurt had rolled back into Blaine's open arms, they were both thinking about what they were. Friends? Boyfriends?
Their thoughts stopped as Blaine pulled up besides Hummel & Lube. Their movements to get out were slow, nervous. But once inside the actual shop, Blaine felt Kurt relax besides him; he was comfortable here. Blaine spotted Burt bent over the hood a Volvo, and then they calmly walked over to him.
"Mr. Hummel?" Burt jumped when Blaine spoke, but thankfully didn't bang his head on the car. He turned, shocked by the two boys' presence.
"Blaine? Kurt? What're you two doing here? Have you two skipped school?" He sounded stern, and Kurt hid slightly behind Blaine, but said nothing.
"Mr. Hummel, I can explain. But maybe in a more... private place?" Blaine said as some guy walked past them. Burt's eyebrows rose.
"Sure."
The three of them walked to an office that was obviously Burt's.
"So why are you here?" He asked once the door was closed, eyeing the two curiously.
"Before I start Mr. Hummel-"
"Burt."
"Burt." Blaine corrected. "Me nor Kurt planned to come to Lima today." Burt nodded, silently telling him to continue.
"Okay, well it started when I got a text off Mercedes. I drove to Lima, only to see if it was true. I'd left Kurt at Dalton because he really shouldn't of had to be there. But he was obviously curious that I left with no explanation and got my friend Wes to drive him here."
"And what was this text?" Burt asked, sitting on his desk.
"It said that Quinn was cheating on me..."
Burt looked angry and sad at the same time. Angry that Quinn had cheated again, and sad that this had happened to Blaine. He was too nice a guy to be played around with like that.
"And when I got to McKinley, I saw her making out with Sam. I confronted her about it, in front of the whole glee club. You really don't need to hear the whole thing, but I basically told her that I didn't like that she betrayed my trust, but I didn't really care that she didn't care about because I don't have any feelings for her, because... because I'm gay." Blaine looked at the floor when Burt's face went from concerned to shocked.
"And... Is this true?" Blaine nodded, still not looking up. "How long have you known?" Blaine felt a hand on his shoulder and didn't need to look up to know that Burt was trying to comfort him.
"Well I'd never really asked myself these things, but I started to about two weeks before Christmas, after my fight with her. And then I talked to Wes, and my sister Layla, and they helped me realize that I am gay. And that was about a week ago..."
Burt nodded, even though Blaine couldn't see it. His arm dropped back to his side and he studied the two boys intently before speaking again.
"So... What? You guys just came here to tell me this? And it couldn't of waited?"
"There's more..." Blaine finally looked back and gained eye contact with Burt again before speaking. "Kurt had heard everything I said, and he was upset that I hadn't told him first. I was trying to explain to him that I'd wanted to but I was scared of what he'd say. But he was adamant there was another reason. But in that moment I felt angry at Quinn, shocked that Kurt was there, scared that I'd just came out, worried about what Kurt would say, and all these other emotions. And I did something really stupid..." Blaine stopped there, his gaze dropping to the floor again.
"What?"
"I kissed him. And it was really stupid and I should have never of done it. I knew that it was bad move and that Kurt would react badly after what had happened to him before. But I wasn't thinking and after I hated myself, and I still do. Kurt had another flashback in that room. And it was my fault. He slapped after. And I deserved it. I deserved a million slaps. And then Kurt started saying that yes it was stupid and that he was scared and I kept telling him how much of a fuck up I am but he just ignored me and then he started crying and I wouldn't stop saying sorry and then he just hugged me. And then Finn-"
"Finn?" Blaine nodded.
"He urm... He started shouting at Kurt. Telling him that he shouldn't forgive me so easily. And he mentioned what happened to Kurt. In front of all of New Direction. And now they all know." He sense Kurt was crying silently besides him and placed a comforting hand on his arm. Burt looked thoroughly shocked.
"Finn? Finn told them?" Both Blaine and Kurt nodded, Kurt letting out a tiny sob as he did so. Burt immediately took Kurt into his arms.
"It's going to be okay, Kurt. I promise." Burt continued to murmur comforting words to his son, wishing he could take all the pain and hurt and memories away.
Comments
I am really egrossed in this story, well done! Do you still need a beta? Apart from grammar and spelling mistakes, it is really good.
YES! i do still need a beta!and thank you so much! For liking this and the review!:)