Jan. 27, 2013, 4:13 a.m.
Whoever You Are, I Love You: Chapter 1
K - Words: 4,242 - Last Updated: Jan 27, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 3/? - Created: Jan 20, 2013 - Updated: Jan 27, 2013 1,085 0 8 0 0
2/3/2016
It was a freezing cold day in New York. Like every other day, person A was on the way to meet person B, person C was going for a Sunday walk and anyone outside was on their way to somewhere. The air was dry and crisp, wind blowing hard in people's faces, feeling like bitch slaps. In street corners was still some black or yellow snow waiting for spring to pollute the earth.
Kurt in his red winter coat, huge, black knit scarf a la Lanny Kravitz around his shoulders, was walking hand in hand with his son, Lloyd, down the street on the way to their favourite family restaurant.
Rachel, his best friend, and finacé Brody were already there, saving their table. Finn, big and tall step-brother and Lloyd's godfather, was on his way from the airport, coming all way from Lima to celebrate little Lloyd's birthday.
When Kurt asked his little boy a week before who he wanted to celebrate with, he didn't name one of his friends from the kindergarten, or the children that live in their apartment buildung, or even any of the kids from the park in front of their house, but said excitedly "Raggel, Finny and Gramgram", meaning Rachel, Finn, and Carole and Burt. Sadly, Kurt's parents couldn't take off that day and promised to come the next one down for a long weekend, instead.
He patiently walked down the less busy walkway with Lloyd, who was in a stage of refusing of sitting in his buggy or even be carried more than 6.5 foot in a row, reasoning, "I walk finer, Daddy!" Lloyd would stop every 6 steps, finding a bug or asking when the flowers come back. He would look at cracks in walls and tell you the Borrowers live there and that he met Peagreen once and that he became old just like Daddy and is losing his hair. Sometimes he would smile at strangers, waiting for them to smile back, when they didn't, he would turn to his father, smile still in place and tell him his face hurts.
Kurt was in his own thoughts of hoping Rachel brought all the presents he hid in her and Brody's apartment, and how to strangle Finn if he uses inappropriate words around Lloyd again. Finn was a wonderfull kindergartener but the most stupid uncle you can wish for... Like one time, Finn was alone with Lloyd because they were both sick. Finn cooked one of his few dishes he learned and served his nephew chilli chicken wings. Kurt had to come home early from work because Lloyd wouldn't stop crying. Mouth burning, tummy hurting and later that night having diarrhea left them all a sleepless night in Lloyd's weeping. Kurt made the next day a list of food Finn is allowed to give his son and marking recipes in cook books his brother should be able to make.
"Kurt? Kurt! Is that you? Oh my gosh!" Ripped off his thoughts, Kurt looked up to find his ex-love of his life running to him, an excited expression remarkable on his face.
"Blaine," Kurt said, confusion and shock weaving through his body. The little hand in his own smooth one squeezed his in question but Kurt was still too stunned to look anywhere but at the approaching man coming closer.
When Blaine was in front of Kurt he was forced into a hug.
"How are yo- God!" Blaine felt something between Kurt and him, disturbing the hug and maybe the best reunion ever, that reunion he dreamed of for over the last 3 years. "Kurt, there is a child on your hand." The dark haired man remarked, surprised.
Blaine crouched down to be on eye level with the little boy. Reunion can wait, that kid must be lost. "Hey, little guy! What's your name?" He gave a charming smile, knowing no matter the age,everyone would be smitten.
Kurt's son looked suspicous, taking a step back and standing on his father's designer shoes. "Lloyd-Frederick the first," he answered with his royal voice.
Lloyd couldn't pronounce Rachel's or anyone's name right but already gave himself a title, with certainty telling anyone who asked for his name.
The curly haired man laughed just the way Kurt remembered from years ago, saying, "That's a great name. Are you lost? Can you tell us who or where your parents are?"
Kurt came back out of his trance, and heaved his confused looking son on his hip, finding a moment later Blaine on his eye level, again. He was still lost of words if he should tell Blaine about his child but Lloyd already replied to the question, "My daddy is Daddy," pointing his tiny finger at Kurt who tried to playfully bite it off in a moment of daddy mode.
"You don't point at people," he scolded.
When Kurt looked away from Lloyd who giggled and hold his finger, he met Blaine's gaze.
Blaine was quiet, just looking at Kurt, his brain working a mile per second. Then his eyes lowered down to Lloyd. "Lloyd-Frederick Hummel," he whispered more to himself. Kurt watched his face for a bit, noticing the blank expression on his ex-boyfriend's face and considered if he should tell him or better not. It wouldn't be any of Blaine's business who the father is. Except it is.
"The first!" grumbled the little one.
"He is your son?" Blaine wanted Kurt to confirm, his voice strangled by the new information.
Kurt closed his eyes, took a deep breath, opened his eyes again and searched Blaine's face. "And yours." He explained with a steady gaze.
Blaine's face grumbled like he waited for that detail, or that was an even bigger information than Kurt being a father. Looking at Lloyd again, who busied himself with playing with Kurt's coat while the grown-ups talked, he only noticed now the little guy's appearance, fully. Dark, curly hair like Blaine and blue eyes, emotional like Kurt. He looked a lot like Blaine, except for the eye colour and the turned-up nose, remarkable Kurt's.
"Wha-" He began.
"Daddy, I am cold and I want my cake."Lloyd mewed in his father's scarf.
Kurt's breath stuttered out in a warm cloud in the cold winter air. "Right. Sorry, my precious. We are on our way." He began walking, still carrying his boy, who wasn't objecting about being carried since feeling uneasy with this stranger accompanying them. Blaine fell in step with them.
"Are you busy?" Kurt asked his ex-lover, looking straight up the street.
"No-No- No n-n-not really." Blaine replied immediately, lying since he was on his way to an audition.
"Want to come with us? Today is Lloyd's birthday. We are meeting with Finn, Rachel and Brody at a family restaurant two streets away from here." He sideglanced at Blaine whose focus was on Lloyd, a bit looking like he still can't believe what or who that little boy was.
"Okay," he answered.
"We can talk later when it's time for Lloyd to sleep." He caressed his son's back, looking at his now dirty designer shoes.
"I don'sleep!" Lloyd cried out in fear of an early bed time. "Ma birthday," he mumbled in his daddy's shoulder.
"I want to know him!" Blaine said, desperate. "And you! Both of you," he breathed.
Kurt sighed. "Later. Blaine, when we enter the restaurant, we will say that between us is all cleared and then change the topic. Okay? I don't want anything to ruin my sons's birthday."
It sounded like Blaine was abot to cry, "Okay, me neither."
-
When they entered the restaurant, Lloyd climbed down his father's torso and ran away in search for his party guests.
Kurt reassured the receptionist that it's okay. And a moment later they already heared from the next room Rachel screeching Lloyd's name too loud.
"Uhm, I know I reserved a table for 4 people and a child but I would like to add another person, is that possible?" The receptionist assured Kurt, it's fine and they will bring another set of cutlery and plates for the addition. Blaine took Kurt's coat like he always did when they had a breadstix date to the wardrobe, then they went to search for their son through the cozy dining room.
Lloyd was bouncing on Brody's knee while Rachel talked to the little boy. He nodded in earnest to everything Rachel told him, even if he still didn't know what an audition was, and why an ugly blond should fall and break her skull. The brunette girl looked up whe n she felt Kurt's presence and became stone, sighting Blaine next to her best friend.
"Hey Rach." Blaine bowed down and gave her a small kiss on her cheek and then shook hands with Brody. "Hi, I am Blaine!"
"Hi, Brody." Rachel's fiancé greeted him.
Kurt sat down, taking Lloyd off of Brody's knee and placing him in the high chair. Blaine sat between Rachel and Kurt at the round table.
When Rachel got over her shock of seeing Blaine again in presence of Kurt and their son, her face became maroon, "How da-" She started but Kurt broke her off before it escalated.
"Rachel-" Kurt snarled, sharp but quiet, "-don't you dare ruin my son's birthday. Shut your mouth or go, but don't make a scene. It's all cleared between Blaine and I."
"But-" she had tears in her eyes. Kurt didn't know if it was from sympathy or because she couldn't make a scene. Maybe, who knows, she planned that moment for years already and it hurts not to act out her fantasy.
"No. Not now. We will meet tomorrow for lunch." He was already turning back to his son to get him out of his thick down jacket. Kurt gave the clothes to Blaine and ordered him to bring them to the wardrobe.
When they were all seated again, an excited Lloyd yelled, "Cake" at his dad.
"No, we will wait until Finn arrives. And then we will order our food. Do you want to share a pizza with me?" He explained to his son, showing him a picture of a salami pizza on the colorfull menu.
"Finny?" Asked Lloyd, his face lighting up. "Where is Finny?"
Kurt smiled at his son. "Uncle Finn is on his way and should be here any minute."
"Why is Finny comn'?"
Lloyd's dad laughed. "Because you wanted him to be. Remember, I asked you last week who you want to invite to your birthay and you wanted Finn." Kurt took out a tissue and wiped some snot from Lloyd's nose. He looked up to the entrance and smiled. "And here he comes."
Lloyd turned his head in the direction where his father was looking at and was met by a bright smirking, still really tall Finn, looking a bit tired from the flight. The little guy clapped in his hands, happiness overwhelming him, seeing his favourite person next to Daddy and his gramgram.
Finn had only eyes for the little guy, throwing his heavy coat on the floor of the restaurant, not caring who has to clean up after him and running over to the high chair, grabbing Lloyds face and giving him a hundret small affectionate kisses over his whole face. Lloyd giggled loudly, grabbing onto Finn where he could.
"Awwwww! I missed you so much, Shortyyyyy!" Finn hugged him a bit more.
"Is Lloyd-Frederick the first!" Complained Lloyd-Frederick the first.
Finn laughed and ruffled Lloyd's dark curls and moved on to hug his brother.
"He little bro," he greeted, hugging Kurt who stayed seated while Finn bend down. Finn rubbed Kurt's back, secretly checking if he lost weight. He turned his head, immediately recogninzing the person next to Kurt. "What the fuck," croaked Finn.
"FUCK! FUCK! ... What is fuck?"
Congratulation, Lloyd learned a new word!
Finn let go of Kurt and looked at Blaine with big, confused eyes. "What? How? When? Why? Oh God."
"Finn, calm down!" Told him Kurt, grabbing the arm of his shirt to hold him in place.
"Please, we will explain later-" Tried Blaine lifting his hands to calm the still really tall man, paling in fear.
"No. What. Why. How? Kurt?! Rachel! What is going on-" The kindergartener demanded, looking at his friends for an answer.
Kurt grabbed Finn's arm tighter to make sure Finn won't do something stupid. "Sit down. I want to celebrate my son's birthday in peace. Now. Sit."
"Sit! Sit! Sit!" An oblivious Lloyd waved his uncle over to the empty seat next to him. Finn didn't move for another moment, still looking at Blaine, then at Rachel to see if she knew more but didn't tell him and then checking Kurt. The younger brother saw the hurt expression but couldn't comfort him in this difficult situation. Finn sighed heavy and moved over to sit between a really awkward Brody, who dawned just now from where he remembered the name 'Blaine', and birthday boy, Lloyd.
An intimidated waiter came over, taking their orders. Blaine wanted water and a Risotto dish with mushrooms, for Lloyd an apple juice mixed with water because pure juice is too sweet for children, Kurt got also a water and he and his son would share a pizza, Brody and Finn ordered beer and both wanted pasta, and Rachel being really quiet wanted wine, please a whole bottle and vegan broccoli gnocchi.
After they ordered Blaine excused himself to go to the restroom.
He stood in front of the sink, the whole wall above the sinks a huge mirror, he opened the faucet, eased his tie and collar open and cooled down his hot body. He breathed in and out, in and out, feeling the oxygen move through his body. He was incredible nervous and still not able to process what is happening right now. He has a son. He has a 3 year old son. With Kurt. Who left him. Over 3 years ago to chase his dreams of the big city. That dream he thought back then was their dream. Until Kurt left him. Left Lima, left Ohio and left all his friends that was still stuck in that hell hole.
Kurt broke up with him and Blaine's parent send him back to Dalton to board again.
Then the first year of break-up was over and Blaine found himself in a college in Ohio, studying what his father wanted him to. He gave in to his mother's pleades and went to platonic dates with girls. Never a second date and never a smile for them. Then his parents tried to accept him more and arranged real dates with extreme rich gay bachelors, look if they could marry him of. And again, only one date and no smile. One time, one of these guys tried to kiss him, even when Blaine was a real douchebag the whole evening and ignored the boring man in front of him at dinner. No one of them was as interesting as Kurt even if some of them had similiare taste in clothes or tried to be the sassy gay.
After Blaine noticed how miserable his life became, he broke free from his parents, sold his car, the apartment and all furniture that his parents donated him, transferred the money he earned from his secret part-time job to a new account and left for New York to find his dreams again, to find himself again and maybe, if he is lucky, Kurt again.
Now, he almost lived for a year in New York City, studying theater and was originally on his way to an audition.
But then, he saw him. Or better, smelled him first. He had his nose in an application form for a lead role when he smelled something expensiv, not exactly wood but something younger, more livefull like an early morning in the woods with the sun already burning but the grass still wet from the night. He turned around and there he found Kurt, slowly making his way to an unknown direction and walking out of his life again. It took him a moment to find his voice from the shock but then he yelled for the man he still loved and will never forget. No one would ever have the same place in his heart like did. Ever.
But now there was Lloyd. Kurt was a father. Blaine was a father! Blaine was a father. What did they do?! Kurt can get pregnant! Kurt was one of the men that can pregnant and they didn't know. Never made the test if they have the gene. They never met a gay man able to give birth. Rachel's fathers both were unable to even if they wanted a child. But really, they were almost always save except for that one time in summer before Kurt disappeared from his life.They lived in Ohio, sex education didn't even inform them about the possibility of men becoming pregnant but a sentence in the text books stating, 'Some men have a gene to enable them to bear children.'
God, Blaine destroyed Kurt's life!
Wait, why didn't Burt kill him yet? Blaine had irresponsible sex with his teenage son.
Blaine pinched himself. Maybe it's all a dream. OUCH! Hurts. It's all reality. Oh God, oh God.
The restroom door opened and Kurt entered the room sighting Blaine by the still open faucet. "Blaine. You've been in here for at least 10 minutes-" Kurt tried a smirk, "-Finn believes you're taking a dump or bailed through the window."
Blaine walked away from the sink like a robot and over to Kurt, throwing his arms over the boy, no, man. Kurt was a man now and a father, too. He sobbed for two minutes in Kurt's still expensiv clothes without care of damage.
Wait, how can you Kurt still wear McQueen when he was a teenage parent?
Blaine lifted his head away from Kurt's stiff shoulder to take in his outfit.
"Your shoes alone are worth 300$," he notices.
Kurt sighs, "And still sees my now three-year old the need to ruin them. What tragic."
"How can you be a fulltime father and still expense your living standard?" The dark haired man eyed him with big eyes.
Kurt went over to the sink to wash his hands before they would eat. "What do you think? I work, Blaine." He smirked. "Or do you think, I would sacrifice my baby's well being just so I can wear the newest fashion?"
"NO! No. No... of course not. I am just... curious?" Suggested Blaine. "What do you work?" He leaned next to the door, waiting for Kurt to finish.
Kurt smiled at him through the big mirror. "I work for Vogue. Also, it looks like I am stepping into the worlds of models."
"A model?" Blaine's mouth went dry. He let his eyes rake over Kurt's shoulders, back, bottom and legs. Still the build of a thin but trained build of a model. Maybe a bit wider around the hips now but not much. You would never think Kurt beared a child.
Kurt moved a loose lock to it's right place, eyes focused on his hair in the mirror. "Yes, but I only had like 3 photoshootings. Most of my time is still in the office doing anything I am ordered to. Funny is, that with this policy I came to modeling... I am lucky they pay well and that Lloyd's kindergarten has over night services since Finn moved back to Lima."
Blaine was stunned. Kurt did so well on his own without support of the other father. He managed to work and love his job and he managed to be a loving father and raise his son well all without him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" blurted Blaine.
Kurt dried his hands on his own handkerchief and turned around to look at Blaine. "The same rules for everyone, Blaine. We will talk later." They left together the restroom and as soon as they were seated at their tables Lloyd tried to talk to Blaine.
"Name!" He ordered.
Kurt scolded him, "Manners!" He took the fork from his son's grabby hands and took out a wet wipe to clean Lloyd's hands. "That nice man is Blaine, Lloyd. He wants to be your friend."He smiled at his son to encourage him to interact with Blaine. If Blaine decided to not become a part of their life Lloyd would forget about today and Blaine in a heartbeat.
Lloyd turned to Kurt, "Say his name again?" He asked.
"B-l-ai-ne," Kurt teached his son.
His son looked thoughtfull, trying the name out in his mind. He turned to Blaine, pointed at him and declared, "Bap!"
Rachel whispered loudly to Brody, "That sounds like Papa!"
Kurt shook his head. "Really. You are such a smart boy but you refuse to call anyone by their right name but yourself." He stroked a curly lock out of Lloyd's face and eyed his son adoringly.
"I did the same," said Blaine. "When I was kid, I refused to call anyone by their real name. I still did it sometimes when I was older. That's why I gave Kurt so many nicknames." Kurt and Blaine's eyes met and they shared a sad look, remembering the thousand times Blaine would call Kurt Honey, Hun, Sweety, Love, Pretty, Beautiful, Kurtsie, Kurty, Devil, Satan, Sexy, Babe, even Oppa once.
When their food came Kurt split the pizza in 3. A child's portion went to Lloyd, a really small portion, smaller than the piece Lloyd received went on Kurt's plate, and the rest went in the trash bucket they occasionaly called Finn.
"Kurt," scolded Brody. "You should eat more than that!"
Kurt blushed. "I can't, to be honest, I have a photoshooting coming up and... I want to eat cheesecake later."
They all laughed except for Blaine who looked worried at Kurt and then over to Lloyd who was eating the pizza niblets Kurt cut for him. Kurt loves pizza, and he loves cheescake, and too sweet coffee. They are his weakness. The only food he could never deny himself in his crazyness to lose the bit of fat around his hips.
They ate as comfortable as possible with Blaine attending the little party. That meant everyone over focused on Lloyd asking him things he didn't know an answer to.
When they finished their dishes and the waiter came back to get the plates, Kurt asked him to bring the cake.
A few minutes went by, then the room darkened and all the staff members came out singing happy birthday.
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear Lloyd-Frederick the First
Happy Birthday to You.
The little boy clapped loud and excited in his hands, getting hugs from everyone except from Blaine, who just watched the scene while singing along.
The waiter brought the cake and Kurt told his son to blow out the candles. With help from Finn the three candles were blown out and the lights were switched on again. They all clapped again and then went back to normal. Lloyd's birthday cake was of course cheesecake decorated with too much food coloring saying Happy Birthday Lloyd-Frederick Hummel. Then there was something like a car, a house, flowers and a sun with smiley face drawn on it. It looked horrible.
"My picture!" Squeaked Lloyd.
Rachel bowed over to Blaine and explained, "Kurt took the picture Lloyd drew for him to the cook and asked him to draw it on the cake in the same coloring. It's both their favourite picture because Lloyd made it when he stayed the full summer in Lima."
Blaine looked at the drawing again and this time he could see it, yes truly the best picture in the whole wide world.
They all got a piece, Kurt even a bigger one this time and ate it.
After cake it was time for presents and Blaine learned, they all spoiled Lloyd rotten. Even Brody, who Blaine didn't anything of, had 3 presents for the little guy.
Then the grown-ups talked while little Lloyd became sleepy and rested in Finn's lap, sometimes mumbling something to him about kindergarten. Rachel who relaxed about Blaine in her second glass of red wine declared, she wants to go do karaoke with him. Blaine excused himself with being busy for the next long, long, long while. Everyone else saw through his lie but didn't comment on it.
Kurt paid for the whole evening, and then Rachel and Brody said their goodbyes.
Blaine accompanied Finn, Kurt, and a sleepy walking Lloyd home.
Close to the apartment building was a flower shop and Blaine excused himself to need something from in there and they please should wait outside. A few minutes later he came out with a small bouquet of red flowers and presented it to Lloyd. Little Lloyd who loved flowers took it from him in awe and Blaine even got a hug from his son around his knees.
The apartment building was nice and expensive looking, much nicer than the one Blaine lived in. There was a park and a play ground in front of the building and the underground close by.
When they entered the apartment on the second floor, Finn said, "I bring Shorty to bed."
"Oh, don't forget to br-"
"Brush his teeth. Yes, Kurt, I still remember." Kurt gave Finn his thanks, kissed his son good night and then turned to focus on Blaine.
"Do you want something to drink?" He asked moving further into the apartment after getting rid of the dirty shoes.
Blaine followed him. "No, thank you but I would like the talk you promised me."
Kurt sighed, moving to a small room. Blaine looked around what must be his home office."What do you want to know?"
The dark haired man closed the door behind himself, sitting down on a small worn couch. He took a deep breath. "Anything-" he said first, then, "EVERYTHING!"
Kurt let out a bitter laugh and spoke directly looking at Blaine, "That is along story to tell." He warned.
Blaine braced himself for what changed his whole life. "Then please do. Because I won't leave until I know."
Comments
Meh I loved it
I love this story! I really can't wait to see why Kurt hid Lloyd from Blaine and the way they move on. Definitely going to track this for updates!
Thank you, I may tell you that Rachel is supportiv in her own way in the next chapter and that there will be little fights with Finn because of it but yes, they are all supportiv. chapter 2 will be up at the end of the week and it's long long long x__x
This was really good. I can't wait to see why Kurt left Blaine and never told him that he had a son. I love that Rachel, Brody and Finn are all so supportive of Kurt and that they all have good relationships with his son. Looking forward to reading chapter 2.
Oh god,such a lovely plot *___* And I wanna know what happened to Kurt!!!
I love love love your story so far... Lloyd is adorable. I am so looking forward to more of his interactions with Blaine, which i hope will many. I am so eager i keep checking for an update every few hours..
I hope you've not abandoned the fic..it was perfect, it'll be sad if does not continue :(
Don't be sad! I am just sick and resting in bed. I have already written alot for the next chapters. I will upate when I feel better because right now I am really not able to and need the rest.