February 5, 1953

Blaine and I just came back from the movie premiere of Disney's Peter Pan and sang on our way home the songs we memorized. The movie was really great, even if the end differed from the book. Why should the children not know that Peter forgot Wendy and even Tinkerbelle? That's what childhood is about; you are allowed to forget. Yes, I know it's bitter because you love the connection between Wendy and Peter but it is what it s. Wendy decided to grow up und Peter decided against it. Now, I ask myself what happened to Tink when Peter visited Wendy again, and he didn't even remember his little friend. Did she die, or how did they part ways? I glanced over to Blaine who hummed 'A Pirate's Life' while driving.

Sometimes, I wondered if he grew up faster or more serious since his family abandoned him but I couldn't really see it. To tell the truth, it felt more like, I was Wendy and he was Peter. Wendy was on this adventure with Peter but she had a family to return to. Peter had nowhere to go back to, he had options, yes, but he decided to stay forever young.

And there we were. Already in our senior year. I had my head full with college confitmstions and the upcoming future and Blaine ignored it. He fully ignored the next step in our life. He was like Peter, he didn't want to grow up. Wendy told Peter, her mother would take care of him, that he would have a place in her family but Peter didn't want that. What if Blaine didn't want it, too? The parallels between us and the tale of Peter Pan and Wendy was just too real to ignore for me.

Today was Thursday, tomorrow would be Friday. Friday night family dinner. A new tradition, that my dad called on. You are not allowed to miss it and if you were missing, he would accept only two excuses.

1. You are dead

2. Close to'

When Blaine finished humming, he reached out for the vehicle audio and turned it on. They played 'Till I Waltz Again With You' by Teresa Brewer. A beautiful song that I couldn't stop to sing along with.

Till I waltz again with you

Let no other hold your charms

If my dreams should all come true

You'll be waiting for my arms

Till I kiss you once again

Keep my love locked in your heart

Darling, I'll return and then

We will never have to part

Blaine looked over to me with a genuine smile. He really enjoyed listening to me sing. It was really cute, how he would stop any action, just not to miss a tone I sing. As long he wouldn't forget to drive, I joked with myself.

We arrived at our home shortly before dinner time and made our way in, with linked hands. My father sat in front of the TV and didn't look up when we entered the room to greet him.

"I told you!" I began my accuse. "I. Told. You. When we buy a television, I said, you won't stop looking at that thing! Go on a date or something but don't always sit in front of that machine."

"Said the son who's just came home from a movie date," muttered dad. "And I am not watching TV all day long. I just finished preparing dinner and was waiting for the two of you. Be grateful, kiddo."

I crossed my arms, "Oh, I am grateful. But now come, I still have to finish my homework after dinner and I need to get a good night sleep for tomorrows 'family dinner' ", I quipped.

Blaine helped my dad out of his recliner and we made our way to the kitchen.

"Don't say it like this. We will be a family soon, so you boys should better get used to get along." Dad looked disturbed. He really hated to chew this subject again and again with us, or just me, or with all of us while family dinner.

"Really, Dad? Everytime he sees me at school, he changes the direction as if there would be the possibilty, I could talk to him. And should I remind you of his last Friday night dinner subject? It was, if Blaine and I hate God and believe in Buddha instead." I got the cutlery and set it on the table. "He hates what we are! And the worst thing is that his arguments sounds like Quinn and Brittany wrote them for him!"

"Could be. One of these girls wasn't the smartest," my father joked.

"DAD!"

"Then show him that there isn't anything to hate to!" He suggested.

"He said, he is disgusted when I kiss Kurt," throw Blaine in while setting the plates. I raised my eyebrows at Blaine. Really, Blaine? This topic with my father?

"I don't like it much either to watch you two kiss," he replied looking somewhere else.

"I hope, you said that in the aspect of being my father, and that you don't like to watch your little and only baby son grow up so fast." I swallowed heavily and observed my dad's face. He only nodded vaguely, averting eye contact between us. I bit my lip, trying not to say the wrong things and just glared a bit.

"WHAT?" He glared right back at me. "What do you want, Kurt? Should I tell Carole, 'I love you but we can only be a family if Finn will love us all equaly or he will have to sleep on the streets'? What do you want me to say? Two men being in love isn't something old and normal and especially not in this town. There might be many people like the two of you out there, maybe even some here among us in Lima but they are not really like you. Some won't even admit it to themself and those who will, Kurt, they won't ever come out. They will find a nice girl instead, have even kids with her and work hard until they die.

"I think, maybe, I saw one or two when I was drafted but that was it and I will never be sure if they really were gay. Do you know why?"

"No," I answered, feeling so tiny at the moment.

"Because almost no one will be your friend if you are gay. Everyone who is discovered gay becomes a social outcast. You experience it every single day, you have to know. If they found out you are gay when you was drafted you got your blue ticket. That's the nice euphemism to dishonorable remove the homosexuals. They served their country, even risked their life, for what? After they were forcedly outed and discharged they lost all their benefits of a veteran, that included finding proper work, loans, and living expenses to attend college. I am not saying that, what you two are, is wrong.

"I'm only telling you, you can't force people to like you and please understand, anything and everything you two will do from now on, will be a fight for your rights. You two will be discriminated, you will have to experience the same or similiar things that Mercedes for being black has to endure or that jewish girl. You are all born this way but still, people will hate you for their stupid reasons. People fought wars for their rights and there will be more wars. Maybe there will be a time we all have to fight for your's but the first battle begins in your own family. And it will happen, Kurt. Carole and I will marry and you three boys will be forced under one roof until you are away to college and will return when it's Christmas and Thanksgiving and any holiday I can come up with to see you as often as possible.

"So, let's see who wins tomorrow's dinner discussion. When I counted right, it stands about 4:0 for you two."

I had wet eyes. My father always knew how to rebuke me. I stared at him gulping deep breaths. My father isn't much of a talker but if he's got something to say, everyone should listen because he's always right. Dad heaved a pot of porridge on the dining table. "Maybe Finn isn't able to talk to you in school yet but there was never more life since I had the three of you together here."

We finally sat down, ate, and talked further about tomorrow. My father told us, that he and Carole are out after he finishes work and dinner will be an hour later than usual. Then we talked about random things like the Peter Pan movie and about the condition in Europe since the North Sea Flood five days ago that killed almost 2,000 people.

After we finished dinner, it was Blaine's turn to clear the dishes. I assisted him of course.

Dad was back in the living room, switching between the few channels and then we heard him laugh aloud about a rerun episode of 'I Love Lucy'. It sounded like the episode where Lucy gave birth to little Ricky. Oh Lucy.

"Kurt?" Blaine approached me, self-conscious.

"Hm?" I responded, still listening to the TV in the other room.

"Would you drive with me to Westerville after school?" I layed the plate down I was drying and looked at him questionable.

"Why?"

"I-I want to sell my car," he confessed. It went silent after he said it. Blaine continued scrubbing the plate and I just stared at him, my task forgotten.

"Why would you want to sell your car? It's brand new. You just got it for your birthday!"

"I want to sell it because it's new, Kurt!" He hissed. "Can't you see why? You was with me when I tried to get a side job. We were banned from the gas station and the burger joint threw a milkshake at us. They ruined your best pants!" He threw the sponge in the sink and grabbed my free hand. "I am so thankful for you and your dad but I can't 'just' live here. It's not right, I have to pay rent or something. It doesn't matter that I am your boyfriend, I am still some stranger that your father let in his house and I don't do anything to support his household."

"You help with the house chores," I defended him.

He shoke his head, "This isn't enough, Kurt. Please. We still have your car and hopefully, they won't know who we are in Westerville, so we will get enough money to cover for my living expenses here."

I had tears in my eyes again. The second time this evening. Darn you, hormones.

"Oh Kurt, please, don't-don't cry. I won't leave or something like that. I know you are afraid, I would leave you but I love you." He caressed my jaw. "It's just, that I cannot just live here. It's not right."

He bowed over to me and kissed the single tear on my cheek away. His lips moved to my forehead for a little peck, then slowly brushed down to the tip of my nose and ended for an eternity long on my lips with mine pressing against them. He moved away a tiny bit and opened his mouth for oxygen. I felt his warm breath ghosting over my face. It was overwhelming. Before he could move further away, I hold him still on his hips and moved forward, placing for the first time an open mothed kiss. Our breath hitched at the novelty and we parted. When I looked back at his face, he was totally out. Staring at me or not, I wasn't really sure with his half closed eyes. Then his caress went to my cheek with his thumb stroking lightly, his head moving in again-

"Still not finished?" We heard my dad shout out of the living room. Moment killer.

Since Blaine moved in, it felt like all our firsts came faster than we thought we would be ready for. Still, we played everything really chaste and safe. Most of the times, it were accidents. And I am not talking about sexual first times. More like things, you have to get used to when you're freshly married, and began to live with your husband. One time, Blaine came in when I had to pee and he saw... gosh, he knows how I look THERE now! My father just laughed at me when I told him. I think, he is appeased that Blaine and I are still in the first base.

I blushed and got back to wipe the dishes dry, glancing over to Blaine who was still flustered, and stared a bit more at me before he eventualy gathered himself and finished his task more or less.

Maybe, I thought, maybe Blaine and I will be second base soon.

When everything was clean we placed the plates back in the kitchen cabinet and made our way up to the bedrooms. I stopped in front of my door, "So," I tried with a shy smile. "Westerville tomorrow?" He smiled that huge huge huge smile that I came to love more than my own life, and grabbed my head between his hands, placing a big smooch on my forehead. I giggled at the gesture and pushed him a bit away from me. Within seconds he was back in my personal space again, his face too close to ignore the long eyelashes, or the rosy lips, the glitter in his eyes, or that stupid stupid smile. Stupid smile, hah. He didn't stop that stupid, too lovable smile, his mouth moving closer to mine again, "I think, I stopped breathing," I said with a husky voice. He snorted and took a step back. Blaine turned his back to me, leaning with his forehead against the opposite wall, his whole body vibrating with silent laughter. "Blaine!" I hissed when he still didn't calm down after 2 two minutes. "Come on!"

He turned back to me, pinned me against the wall and gave me the most gentle kiss possible. "Good night," whispered Blaine in my ear.

The next day after school we drove in seperate cars down the state to Westerville. I waited in my car while Blaine sold his to the first person he met that would pay enough.

When we drove back home, my dad and Carole were already back from their date. They sat in the kitchen, drank a cup of coffee and shared a donut before beginning with dinner preparations. I stayed in the hallway while Blaine went into the kitchen, clutching an envelope with money in his sweaty hands. He fidgeted a moment before he looked at them.

The grown ups eyed Blaine when he entered the room and were waiting for him to begin with what he had to say.

"You alright Kid?" My dad asked him.

"Burt, Carole. May I talk to you?"

My father pointed to a chair for Blaine to sit down and said, "Sure, Kid. Sit down first." Blaine took the chair opposite of them and placed the closed envelope next to Burt's cup. "What's that?"

It seemed like Blaine liked the way his fingernails looked since he didn't found any reason to look up when he confessed what he did afterschool. "Kurt and I drove to Westerville and sold my car." He sounded a bit breathless, somehow mumbled a bit, and in a much to high voice, too. He sounded like someone else but not my Blaine, the best talker I knew.

"That's why the driveway looked so empty," muttered Dad with a knowing smirk.

"And this is the money I got out of it," Blaine continued, " I want you to have it."

"And why?" Asked Carole in an caring tone.

"Why," repeated Blaine. "Why. I don't know. I think, I feel bad for intruding here? I have a place to stay and have not to freeze to death at night. Who knows, I could be in a clinic in Ohio or else where if it wasn't for you and Kurt to take me in."

Blaine had tears in his eyes just thinking about it and Carole wiped her own with a handkerchief away.

"I am really thankful, so please, take it as my gratitude. Use it for your wedding or something else. I am looking for a job to pay you rent but I couldn't find someone who would hire me." He gulped down the rest of the sentence. "You know why." Yes I know why.

Burt sighed, scrubbing his eyes. "I will take the money."

"Burt!" Said Carole scandalized.

Dad held a hand out so Carole won't interrupt him again."But, so you know, we won't use your money. We will save it. And I will add every month the same amount that I add for Kurt's college account and when Carole and I are married, I will do the same for Finn, too. Because you are my boys, my family. And I wish especially for you to have a bright future, to go to college, and see more than Lima, and more than an unaccepting bunch of shit."

"DAD!" I warned from the hallway. "Language!"

All three in the kitchen snickered.

"Come in, Kurt!" Carole called me, still laughing.

I came in and sat down next to Blaine, taking his hand, immediately.

"Thank You, Dad." I said softly, squeezing the hand in my hold.

My eyes wandered over to Blaine who stared at Burt. He couldn't find the right words to say. He wanted to give Burt something and received in the end, he wanted to say no but couldn't deny the opportunity for an amazing chance he got.

We heared the entrance door burst open and then slam shut.

"Mom! I am here now!" It was Finn who came back from football training. We continued to listen to him moving through the house. Somewhere in the hallway, he lost his shoes, then his jacket. The bathroom door creaked open and closed and a short moment later the shower began to run.

"Still don't know if he really needs money for college," said Carole more to herself, while shaking her head.

It seemed like Finn was more hungry than talkative that evening. He gulped even the vegetables down. The last weeks he always tried to put them on someones elses plate or searched for a dog on the floor to give it to and only found dust balls that wasn't so hungry.

When he finished. He fell back on the chair and sighed loud and sated. He rubbed his belly while sighting the rest of the family that were still mostly eating.

"Hey Blaine," Finn began. Blaine looked up and so did the rest of the family. "Where did your car go?"

There were some moments of silence before Blaine answered. "I sold it."

"WHY?" Finn was clearly shocked.

"Because I needed money."

"But couldn't you have just worked? A man needs his car."

"Blaine couldn't find someone to hire him." I interrupted.

"And for what did he need money?" Finn looked confused at me and then back at Blaine.

"He wanted to pay me rent." Dad said and smiled at Blaine.

"That's stupid."

"Why?" Burt asked, interested.

"Because... why would he want to pay for something that he can get for free? When someone pays, I would never think of paying rent or for food. Mom, just imagine, I would give you money to cook and do the laundry for me!" Finn laughed.

Carole stood up, suddenly. "You surprise me from week to week, Finn." Her voice was filled with bitter disappointment and she began to pick up the still not empty plates. I stood up to help her. "Not that you can't believe me that there is nothing wrong with Kurt and Blaine-"

"What-"

"Stop. Don't. Say. Anything. Finn." She glared at him. "What did I teach you the last 18 years, what did I do wrong?"

"Nothin', Mom, I-"

"Just go. Watch TV or something. I don't want to look at you right now."

Dad stood up and pulled Finn up with him too. He shot a glance over to Blaine to order him to follow and the 3 men went over into the living room.

"Carole-" I said when we were alone.

She took me in her arms and I heared her sniff. "Why is it so difficult with him now?"

"I don't know," I said. I didn't know what to tell her. I could ask that myself everyday. Why is it so difficult?

"I always thought, I did a good job with him. He was my boy who I was proud of." She disconnected from the embrace and went over to the sink. "I really believed he will accept you two one day and that it just takes a while but now... It feels hopeless. Have you heared him? He doesn't understand the value of hard work, of taking care and supporting the loved ones, and sees it as given that I did what I did and still do for him. Did I brought up a bad man?"

She was so sad, it hurt just to look at her.

"I don't think that Finn is bad. Maybe, he just needs some correction but I don't think he is any worse than everyone else. It's just his mistakes are more on display than our's, here, because we didn't made them." I stared down at the floor while saying this. I was unsure if I believed my own words; because I was mad at Finn more than not, most of the time. I found myself imagining, shaking him awake to make him finally see and sometimes even punching the discrimination out of him. But that wouldn't help. They couldn't punch the gay out of me and I couldn't do the same with their moronic hate.

"Thank You," whispered Carole.

While we talked in the kitchen. the guys in the livingroom overheared our chat.

"Wow," breathed Finn. He didn't knew how bad he had hurt his mother. Of course he understood already that he hurt Kurt and Blaine sometimes, often with purpose but he never wanted to hurt his mother. She was almost his whole world. He loved her and now he understood how much she sacrificed for him.

Women normally remarried fast after their husbands deaths, they needed a breadwinner but that was not his mom's way. She stayed alone for about a decade and worked hard and harder for him.-

"I have a proposal for you two." Burt scratched his bald head and Blaine and Finn saw up to him. He stood in front of the and eyed one and then the other with care. "How about you two work for me?"

"What?" Said both boys.

"Kurt already works 3 days in the week with me. He mostly stays in the office now but I can use some new casuals in the garage since one of my guys quit. You know, he didn't want to work with Kurt anymore." He coughed after the last part.-

-Blaine thought about it but it felt like taking advantage again.-

-Finn thought what his friends would do if he worked with the gays together but then he thought about his mother and swore, he could still hear her cry in the kitchen.-

-Blaine really wanted to support Burt and he wouldn't find work somewhere else...-

"Okay." Blaine and Finn said at the same time.