“Blaine why don’t you try his cell again? This time maybe talk about some memories.”

Blaine nodded and pressed speed dial 1. The phone rang and rang until Blaine thought it had been picked up but the phone shut off in his ear. Kurt had turned it off. Luckily the policeman listening and the others were watching him, the shock washing over the young man’s face leaving heartbreak behind. The phone fell to the ground and clattered, the back coming off and skittering across the floor. Finn reached out to grab the younger teen but missed and they all watched in horror as Blaine crashed to the ground, his head slamming into the tiled hallway with a dull thud. Suddenly the room was a rush of motion as Finn crouched next to Blaine, checking him over and yelling his name until Carole stopped him from shaking Blaine. Burt called the hospital as one of the policemen put the phone back together then crouched next to Blaine while Lieutenant Fitch put an arm around Burt’s shoulders.

Suddenly Carole screamed and their eyes were drawn back to Blaine lying on the floor, blood starting to seep from his head where it had met the floor. At that moment though the paramedics came in, rushing around Blaine and gently pushing Carole, Finn and the policeman out of the way. They gently put the teen on the stretcher, putting a brace around him, an oxygen mask around his face and wheeled him out, the family and police following.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. Carole travelled in the ambulance with Blaine while Finn and Burt were in Lieutenant Fitch’s car. The doctors checked Blaine over as Burt, Carole and Finn waited outside. After some time the doctor came out, closing the door after him. “I’ve checked Mr. Anderson over and his vital signs are all ok. He has a concussion and a cut to the back of his head but otherwise he’s fine. He’s in shock but awake and asking for you. Have you managed to get hold of his parents?”

Burt shook his head, his eyes catching Blaine’s as he turned his head to look at them. “No, there’s no answer but from what Blaine has told me they probably wouldn’t come.”

The doctor nodded, asking Carole to follow him to sign Blaine out and into her custody.

Burt and Finn walked into Blaine’s room, Finn sat down and looked at Blaine. “Don’t do that to me again, dude.”

Blaine nodded, wincing slightly. “I’m sorry. I was shocked and after everything…”

“Hey, we understand but we don’t want to lose you too. Kurt will need you when he comes home and you can’t be there if you’re in here.” Burt said, wishing more than ever that Kurt was here. He wasn’t surprised that Blaine had passed out. The last few days had been hard on Blaine. He’d started to be demanded of more. Making phone calls begging Kurt to come home, helping send out flyers about Kurt and helping with the TV appeal, asking Kurt to please come home. The fact that Kurt had turned his phone on only to turn it off when Blaine had called was a shock, but heart-breaking to the young man.

Lieutenant Fitch poked his head around the door, smiling at Blaine then looking at Burt. “Burt? A word please?”

Burt stood up and patted Blaine’s shoulder before leaving the room. He stepped out into the corridor and looked at his friend and the man who’d been there in their lives since his son had vanished “What’s up Mick?”

The police lieutenant shifted slightly, trying not to fill his lungs with the smells of the hospital, the stench of sickness, blood and death was one thing he disliked about being a cop. “Burt I know you and your family and Blaine are going through some tough times right now but have you thought about…securing your house or yours and Blaine’s cars?”

Burt looked at his friend, confused. “What do you mean?”

Mick looked into the room, Blaine and Finn were talking but Blaine’s attention was definitely on them. “With everything that’s happened we’re worried that Blaine will vanish himself or worse, try to go after Kurt himself. He’s a flight risk Burt.”

Burt’s mouth opened and closed. He’d never thought about it. “I’ll talk to him about it but I don’t think Blaine would go anywhere, he thinks Kurt will come back and doesn’t want to be anywhere else when he does. He needs to be near Kurt’s things. I’ll handle it. Thanks Mick.”

“Any time buddy.”

In the three weeks since Kurt had gone missing Blaine had moved in to the Hummel-Hudson house, using Kurt’s room as his own. He’d stayed strong through the faith that Kurt would one day come home. They knew by now that Kurt had sold his car and got a new one, though when the police had given his photo to the car dealerships he would have gone to, no-one recognised him. Blaine had reasoned that he’d probably changed his look and gotten a fake id. The idea that Kurt knew exactly what he was doing was scary, but seeing as the young man was intelligent and resourceful, they’d accepted it as likely fact.

Finn now worked at Burt’s garage, not willing to join the army or move anywhere that meant he was too far from his parents and Blaine, hoping that Kurt would one day come home and not want to have the phone call, but be there to see him. Burt and Carole spent most of their time either working to keep their minds off the spare set of cutlery in the drawer and the space where the link that held them all together was; or searching for him.

Blaine wasn’t looking forward to the new school year. He’d be back in McKinley, staring down the halls that he and his boyfriend used to walk down, stand by the lockers they’d hung out by, be in the choir room they’d sung together in and see all of their friends, the ones who had been junior with him when Kurt graduated and would now be seniors and Blaine didn’t want to see the looks on their faces, knowing that Kurt was still gone. Burt had mentioned home-schooling once or twice but he’d spent an hour in a meeting with Principal Figgins and they’d decided that there was no way they could manage it.

Blaine sat out in the garden, watching the world go by as the ants crawled over the grass and the birds flew through the air.

It was summer; he should have been spending time with his boyfriend; having fun, making out, dealing with the rejection and sorting out his plans, more making out and having lots of sex. Not worrying, crying, and searching for him. Part of him was angry. Kurt had promised he’d never say goodbye to Blaine and he’d never lose him, but here he was, alone. How could Kurt do this to him?

The folder of brochures, lists, applications and letters sat untouched on Kurt’s desk, abandoned like Blaine. Taunting him with the memories of the day Kurt vanished. If only he’d stayed the night like he wanted, to calm and comfort his boyfriend; maybe then he wouldn’t have gone and Blaine wouldn’t be alone.

Sighing, Blaine got up and went back indoors. He was getting used to not having Kurt around but was terrified that one day he’d wake up and wouldn’t be able to hear his beautiful voice in his mind. Luckily there were videos and plenty of sings Kurt had sung on his IPod for when he was scared.

Blaine glared out of the window, he knew he was being petulant but he really didn’t want to go back to school and no amount of begging, pleading, crying, bribery or promises would sway Burt or Finn. Finn sat next to him, driving as Blaine huffed in the passenger seat. Blaine may not like it but school was the best place for him. Kurt had been missing since the end of May, he was probably far away by now and getting on with life, as much as it hurt Finn to admit. He wondered if Kurt was happy.

Finally they pulled up outside McKinley. The place hadn’t changed since they’d left and Finn could almost see a younger him, Rachel and Kurt walking through the campus, lost in the sea of kids walking around and into the building. “Ok man we’re here. You’ll call me at lunch, right?” Finn carried on talking as they got out of the car, ignoring Blaine’s look of contempt. He couldn’t expect anything but hate from the younger teen right now. School was the last place he wanted to be and being told to phone at lunch sounded childish but since Blaine’s accident Burt had enforced strict rules around all of their days and Finn knew why. If he was Blaine he’d have probably left by now too.

“I’ll give you $1000 to take me home and never come back.” Blaine muttered darkly. Since the accident his parents had signed custody over to Burt and Carole, including the inheritance he was entitled to from his grandparents and the money he’d one day get from his parents. A final good riddance to their embarrassment of a son.

Finn laughed, earning another glare from the shorter teen. “Your money’s no good man. You have to go to school. I get it. It sucks but you need to graduate and think about what Kurt will say when he-”

“He’s not coming back!” Blaine shouted, finally losing his cool and attracting the attention of some students.

Finn bristled. He wasn’t in the mood for this, Blaine’s little meltdowns had become more frequent recently and they could either be violent, Blaine smashing things and yelling or he’d lock himself away and refuse to go anywhere. “Yes he is. He’s coming back and he’s going to be fine. Get in that school Blaine.” Finn towered over him, trying to use every intimidating feature he had to offer but Blaine had him in the angry looks and could probably get more punches in than Finn. He was strong, wiry and fast. Before either of them could answer or start fighting Sam walked over. “Hey guys!”

Both men turned to Sam, surprised. Blaine spoke first. “Hi Sam.” He said warily, watching the exuberant southerner.

Sam clapped a hand on his back and looked at Finn. “It’s ok man, I’ll take it from here.”

Finn looked between them, nodding at Blaine’s half-smile. “Okay man. See you later Blaine.”

“What was that about?” Blaine asked as they walked into the school, he and Sam had gotten on better since their almost-fight in the choir room but he’d never pick Sam out as the one to try to help him out.

Sam smiled, looking at the new look Blaine had. He was wearing a simple shirt and slacks, less dapper and no bowtie and his curly hair was without the gel he never went without last school year, it had grown a little and curled messily, but evidently taken care of, not bushy like prom. “Because, once when I needed help Kurt was there for me. Now I’m doing it for you. It’s like a good deed rewarded in the long run.”

Blaine eyed him sceptically but let it go, walking with Sam to collect his information then heading to class.

The school day went well and Blaine almost forgot to call Finn and Burt at lunch time, leaving a message just in time before the bell rang. The happiness didn’t last, however and as Blaine realised he’d have Glee today his heart sunk. Glee. Where his boyfriend, Finn and Rachel had been the stars, and before all of this happened, where he was expected to fill the lead male role’s shoes.

He balked outside of the room, he could see Tina, Artie already in the room, chatting about summer, and he heard the word. Kurt. How could he be here without him? How could this be Glee without his soprano boyfriend? He felt Sam come up behind him and push him into the room, Artie and Tina smiling at him and waving him over and he realised, Kurt was here. In the piano, the chairs, the mic stand and in them; and one day he would be here again, watching Blaine sing, watching him graduate.

He smiled at Artie and Tina and sat down at the back as Brittany and Sugar walked in, waving at him and Sam sat down by Sugar. Mr Schue walked in not long after and looked at him, smiling reassuringly. He welcomed them all back and they all stood up to sing. Will looked over at Blaine, studying his fingers and sighed. He walked up and sat next to Blaine. “You don’t have to sing yet if you don’t want to Blaine.

Blaine looked at him, his eyes red-rimmed. “I’ve got so many songs but none of them are happy and I just don’t want to start crying again, I feel like I never stop.”

Mr Schue placed an arm around Blaine’s shoulder. “It’s ok to cry Blaine. I cried when Kurt vanished too, I bet everyone here did,” They looked around and the others nodded, looking at them with sympathy and love. “We all know how you feel here Blaine. We weren’t as close to Kurt as you but we miss him, you’re safe here. Whatever you want to do, in your own time.”

Blaine nodded, sniffing and looked at Mr Schue. “I think I’m ready to sing now.”

The older man smiled and stood up, letting Blaine walk over to the band and tell them what he wanted to sing before going to the mic stand and breathing in deeply.

I never felt the summer sun wash my face

Til you were there

You held the beauty of the world in your smile

And now you’re gone

All I feel is the bitter sting

Winter’s coming

And it’s all I can do

Hold my head up high

Yes I’m trying not to cry

To be without you

Isn’t it hard enough?

I still love you

And in my way that’s enough

Because I never got to say goodbye

Winter’s chill comes quickly

It leaves me gasping in its rush

To hurt my head

My heart

My soul

With the crush

And in the snowfall

Where we once used to play

There’s only one set of footsteps today

So I hold my head up high

I won’t promise not to cry

But for today can we just pretend

That you’re not gone love

And I will be ok

Without you all I do is cry

I’m not sorry

For my circumstance

I’d love you til the end of time

But I’m sorry

I was not enough

If you’d stayed I would have given you

Everything I had

I was and would have been

But you left without a second glance

So I stand here

And become another man because

You loved me

And still it wasn’t enough

I can’t promise not to cry

But I’ll try

One day I’ll be strong

Because I will try.

They were all crying as he finished and walked back to his seat. Tina turned around. “Oh my gosh that was so beautiful. Who’s it by?”

Blaine blushed as they all turned to him, his lips curling up slightly. “Um, I kinda wrote it. Since Kurt…I’ve been writing a lot.”

They all smiled at him and congratulated him. Sam grinning at him. “That kind of rocked dude. It was sad, but it rocked.” The others nodded and Blaine felt warmth flood through him. Kurt wasn’t here, body and heart but he was safe, and he could get by.

Just before class ended he caught Sam’s arm and looked at Sam’s guitar. “Sam could you teach me to play?”

Sam smiled at him, looking between Blaine and the guitar. “Sure man! We’ll have to get you a guitar. How about Saturday you, me and Finn go buy you one, yeah?”

Blaine nodded, he couldn’t wait.

Blaine saw Finn waiting for him in the parking lot and waved. Finn watched Blaine, he seemed happy. He hugged the shorter man as he reached him and they slid into their respective seats. “Good day?”

Blaine nodded, a small smile lighting his face. “Yeah, it was really good, I…”

Finn glanced over, seeing his face change and his eyes cloud over. Oh no, another episode. Luckily Blaine’s face cleared and he looked at Finn, smiling. “I sung one of my songs about Kurt.”

Finn nodded, smiling. “Which one?”

“I Cry.”

Finn nodded, it was a beautiful song. Blaine had come to him a couple of weeks ago and shown it to him, playing it on the piano and waiting for Finn’s reaction afterwards. He’d had to admit it made his heart hurt to hear it but Blaine was happy with it, and it was helping.

The ride continued in companiable silence, broken every so often by Blaine telling Finn what had happened at school and about going on Saturday to buy a guitar. In the back of Finn’s mind a voice whispered that Saturday would be the 11 week anniversary of Kurt’s disappearance, almost 2 months. He stamped the voice down and smiled at Blaine, happy for him.

Saturday rolled around and Blaine, Finn and Sam wandered around the music shop, picking out guitars. It seemed the owner was a fan of Madonna because Finn could count 8 of her songs already that had played over the speakers. Blaine kept drawing back to the nicer ones but was refusing to spend his money on any of them, but couldn’t find a better priced one he liked.

“C’mon dude we’ve been in here for hours!” Sam chuckled, nudging Blaine who shoved him back. It was great watching Blaine having fun. Other than Kurt music was the only thing that woke up Blaine and pushed him forward.

Finn sighed and pushed Blaine back towards the more expensive guitars, telling him to get one he liked before he heard it and halted. Over the speakers came a very familiar melody.

Blaine froze. His whole body becoming rigid. That song. His eyes glazed over and suddenly he was back there in Glee Club so many months ago watching his boyfriend sing I’ll Remember as a goodbye to the others in Glee Club, right after he’d promised Blaine he wasn’t saying goodbye. He could hear murmuring and something nudged his mind, telling him that Sam and Finn were worried but all he could see right now was Kurt’s face, tears running down his cheeks and his voice singing ‘I’ll remember the love that you gave me, now that I’m standing on my own’.

Sam stared; he’d never witnessed Blaine having a real episode. He’d been warned by Finn, sure and he’d had a little ‘thing’ in the choir room then outside on the bleachers the other day but this was terrifying. “Dude what do we do?”

Finn looked at him, scared as he was. “Just be ready. Shit Sam grab him!”

Sam leapt forward as Blaine sagged, catching the teen and grabbing him tight, getting them over to a seat before sighing. Finn knelt in front of Blaine, waving a hand in front of his face until Blaine blinked, his face clearing, coming back from his memories.

“The Seagull.” Blaine whispered. Finn turned and looked at Sam who went and grabbed it without a word. They went to the till, paid and left, Blaine not speaking, his head bowed.

Burt was waiting when they got to the house, Finn quietly talking to Blaine as he and Sam walked in, Sam looking shocked. “What happened?”

Finn directed Blaine into the living room where he sat on the couch, staring at the carpet. The tall teen walked back over to Burt as Sam left quietly. “He had a bad one in the store. I’ll Remember started playing over the store speakers and he just lost it, went inside his own head for ages.”

Burt walked over to Blaine and knelt down. “Blaine you know Kurt wouldn’t want you falling apart every time you hear or see something that reminds you of him, right? I know it’s hard but why don’t we go see the doctor again on Monday, you can miss morning classes and we’ll try to get this sorted out.” Burt said gently.

Blaine sighed, looking at the older man. “I’m broken, Burt. I can’t help what happens but I’m not crazy.”

“I’m not saying you are, Blaine but let’s deal with this as a family. Let me take you to the doctor and see what he can do, ok?”

Blaine nodded and looked at Finn before looking back at Burt. “Just don’t send me back to my parents.”