May 3, 2012, 12:18 a.m.
Coming Out: Chapter 7
E - Words: 305 - Last Updated: May 03, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 38/? - Created: Feb 22, 2012 - Updated: May 03, 2012 545 0 0 0 0
The rest of the week has been eerily uneventful.
The nights have not, however.
Tonight was the third night in a row that I woke up around 2 am, sweating and trembling. I don't remember all the details of the dreams, but they always end with me staring at the bold red letters on my locker door and someone grabbing me forcefully from behind. Just when I'm about to start screaming, I usually wake up. Afterwards, I just sit in my bed for hours, unable to go back to sleep until the sun rises and I have to get up anyway.
It's actually amazing with how little sleep a human being can go for days. I guess your body just gets used to this level of exhaustion, although I have had trouble concentrating. Yesterday, I almost fell asleep during my French class, hadn't it been for Mark, who had been so bored that he had sent me various text messages throughout the lesson, causing my phone to vibrate in my pocket everytime I was close to drifting off.
And last night, I just sat in my bed and actually thought about not going to sleep at all. Fantastic. As if that were really an option!
One would think that the lack of events at school should bring some relief. But it doesn't. In fact, I feel even more terrified with every day that passes WITHOUT anything happening.
I'm used to people staring at me in the halls by now, some of my teammates avoiding me in the locker room when we're changing for soccer training and Jennifer and her stupid friends whispering behind my back. I can live with that.
But I'm afraid of the big blow. I have a feeling that something is about to happen.
And I'm so, so exhausted. I just want to sleep.