I called Jennifer yesterday.

She hadn't spoken to me at all on Monday and I just wanted to make sure she was fine. At first, I expected she wouldn't even want to talk to me, but she picked up after the first ring. That got my hopes up. So I told her again how sorry I was and how bad I felt because I had rejected her and that all I wanted was to stay friends, because I needed her support right now. I had it all planned, and I thought it was the perfect speech.

I wasn't prepared for what was coming up.

She almost jumped my face through the wire. She actually screamed at me. She called me various adjectives of which I only remember a few, but I know for sure that one of them was "sick". She kept going on and on about what a sin it was to be gay and how I would get Aids and die and go to hell. And then she said she had told her parents about all this and they had told her she couldn't be friends with me anymore.

All I could do in that moment was hang up.

I spent all night thinking about what she said and kept tossing and turning in my bed.

And I still don't get it. How can a friendship like ours just go down the hill like this?

I know that Jennifer's family is very religious. Ever since we were kids, she had to go to church every Sunday with her parents, went on vacation to church camps and even started going to a bible club last year.

I on the other hand have never been like that. My parents are both catholic, but they don't go to church and never forced me to, and even Christmas is more of a family holiday to us than anything else.

But both Jennifer and I never had had a problem with that, and neither had our families.

It had always just been us.

Jennifer, who I used to build sand castles with and whose bucket and shovel I used to steal in kindergarten.

Jennifer, who took my hand on our first day at school, when I was too scared to leave my mom and dad, and made everything so much easier with one tiny gesture.

Jennifer, who agreed to join choir with me in junior high when I didn't want to do it on my own, because my voice was breaking and I sounded like a weird mixture of human and chainsaw at times.

Jennifer, who has always, always been there.

I feel so, so alone right now.

Because the only person I could always rely on let me down. She walked out of that door on Valentine's Day and out of my life. Just like that.

But most of all, I'm angry, because I was so stupid. I thought I knew her. I was sure she'd back me and be by my side, take my hand and tell me everything would be alright.

I guess that's a lesson everyone has to learn at some point in life. Don't rely on other people, because there will be a time when they will let you down for sure.