Mom just came back from a meeting with our principal.

I don't know why she didn't listen to me.

I told her not to go. I begged her not to go.

But she just wouldn't have that.

God, why does she have to be so stubborn sometimes?

As it turns out, the meeting went nowhere. The principal told her he needed the names of all the students who participated and an exact description of the incident, especially who did what.

And I just can't provide that. They had my face pressed to the ground almost the entire time, and after they had finished, I had just closed my eyes to shut everything off.

When I told her this, mom was heartbroken.

But I'm weirdly relieved there won't be an investigation.

I don't want to have to relive the incident. Not that I already do that every single night when the nightmares take over, but that's beyond my control.

I'm not na�ve. I know that I'll have to deal with it eventually in order to find closure. But I also know that I have to do it my way and at my own pace, and I'm definitely not there, yet.