It's almost 1 am.

My hands and feet feel as if they were pierced by a thousand hot needles. It hurts like hell, but it definitely feels good to feel something, anything, even if it's pain. I think I understand the concept of cutting better now, although I can't imagine doing anything like that to myself actively.

It feels as if my body was calling me to hold on, showing me that it's still there and that it's ready to fight for survival. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, can actually hear the pulse in my ears, along with the rush of blood.

I feel more alive right now than I've felt in a long time.