Wednesday 7th November 2012

Dearest Blaine,

I don't know whether you've heard or not. But I have to write it to you anyway. Barack Obama won! Do you know what this means?

WE CAN FINALLY GET MARRIED!

I know that we've been engaged for only a short time, but I honestly can't wait for you to come home and spending the rest of my life with you. (I'm hoping that didn't sound to forward). Either way, I've been so upbeat since that letter from Colin. Rachel has tried to calm me down but how can I? She says that, although the letter Colin wrote was nice, it doesn't confirm anything; it just means more people are aware that I'm looking for him. I suppose that she's right but the fact that more people are on the look out just increases the chance of finding you. And that slight increase is all I need to get through the weeks.

Although...

Somehow, even through all the recent laughter and smiles, I'm still heartbroken from the night you told me. I can remember it so clearly. I wish I didn't, but I do.

I remember you taking me out to my favourite restaurant and holding me close as we walked home through the park, as if I was never going to see you again. When we finally did get home, the memory of it blurs a little.

I remember being angry and terrified and so, so upset. I can still remember the hours of sobbing together that night. The way you clung to me, rocking me back a forth, singing me lullabies and whispering comforting words to me. I don't think I can ever forgive and forget.

I don't blame you.

I've never blamed you. I have no right to. It has never been your fault. It was always your father. Always. And even now, where is he? He's certainly not compassionate enough to respect your decisions. Or in that case, making them for you.

I know that you always wanted to be accepted, but I never quite understood why you felt so forced into going into the army because of him. I suppose I never will understand. You're so brave for dealing with this. I know you said it was your choice to go, but sometimes I just think...nevermind. It's in the past now, what we need to do now is look forward. We have to.

I love you,

Forever and always,

Kurt xxx