Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Kurt, honey?" Kurt looked up to see his step-mother, still in her scrubs. She gave him a small, sad smile as she entered the hospital room that he had yet to really leave. "I only have a short break, but I wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing." She paused, looking at him with uncertainty. "How are you, dear?"

Kurt looked at her soberly. "All things considered?" he asked.

"All things considered," she said, nodding.

Kurt shrugged a shoulder, turning his attention back to Blaine. He ran his thumb over the back of the man's hand. The hours were dragging on, and though he still had little sense of time, he knew that the sun must be rising soon, just based on the fact that it was about halfway through Carole's shift. In no time at all, a day will have passed. One entire day, and no changes in Blaine's status. Kurt closed his eyes and pushed any doubtful thoughts out of his mind.

"Impatient," he said after a moment. He looked at Carole with a forced smile.

Carole seemed to visibly relax at the hopefulness and slightly teasing nature of her step-son. He was being himself, even during this time of crisis. That could only be a good sign. They both recognized that.

"He ought to know you're waiting for him," she quipped, and Kurt smiled a little more genuinely. "He should know better than to keep you waiting, shouldn't he?"

Kurt nodded. "I'll have some choice words to say to him when he's up," he told her, and she chuckled softly. She watched as his eyes fell back upon Blaine, saddening once again.

She fully entered the room, standing beside her step-son and placing a hand on his shoulder. It had been quite some time since she'd seen the two boys look so young, but they both suddenly were. Blaine, with his curls, looking so fragile underneath white sheets and surrounded by machines and tubes poking into his skin, and Kurt, trying too hard to appear strong. She squeezed his shoulder gently. "He will wake up," she said. Kurt looked up at her, his eyes betraying his vague feelings of uncertainty. "He's so young," she assured him. "He still has so much fight in him, Kurt." She leaned down a pressed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head. "Besides, he's only just got you back, right? He didn't work that hard for nothing." She smiled, softly, and Kurt did so in return. "Don't give up on him. Soon enough, this will be nothing but a memory." She brushed Kurt's hair out of his face and gave his shoulder another squeeze. "I've got to run, sweetheart," she said. "Need anything before I do?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine," he assured her. "Thank you, Carole."

She smiled warmly at him before she turned and left the room. And when Kurt was left on his own, clutching onto Blaine's hand and gently carding his fingers through his curls, he hoped that Carole would prove to be right, and soon enough, it would just be a memory.

Thirty-two hours had passed. Kurt stood just outside the room, watching as Ella spoke to her uncle in a steady rhythm. Kurt could see the expression on her face, one of concern and worry and sadness, and he desperately wished that this wasn't something she had to go through. Not again. She'd lost both her parents; she couldn't lose the one man that was as close to a father as she might ever find.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the pounding in his head as he did so. He probably ought to sleep, but the very thought of closing his eyes and resting wasn't something he could even fathom.

He felt a comforting hand on his back as Rachel joined him. He didn't turn to face her, as something inside him still couldn't bare it.

"I called the school," she said quietly.

Kurt took her words in, trying to comprehend them. After a moment, he gave up. "The school?" he asked, and even he could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

She nodded. "For Blaine," she said. "He's going to need plenty of recovery time once he wakes up, and I figured that calling the school to tell them they need a substitute teacher for an undetermined amount of time is the furthest thing from your mind, right now."

Again, it took a few moments for Kurt to process her words. But once he had, he realized how much he loved Rachel. The wording she'd used hadn't gotten past him: he recognized, and greatly appreciated, how she had said it, completely assured that Blaine would wake up, that there was no question about it. Beside that, it really was something that hadn't even crossed his mind. He figured that would have only made things worse once the next morning came, had he received a call on his cell and had to explain everything. No, this was much better.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"Not a problem," she assured him. "Anything else I can do?"

Kurt paused, and glanced back at his son, eagerly telling some tale to Finn, who was holding Alex in his arms. He turned back to the room, seeing Ella, rubbing her eyes as she continued to speak to her unconscious uncle. He drew in a deep breath.

"Will you take them home for dinner?" he asked. "They haven't had a good meal, unless you count the hospital food. And... and I think they really need to sleep in an actual bed."

"And you?"

"I need to stay here," he said. He turned to her, and he could see her glaring slightly. "Just for tonight, at least. If... if by tomorrow there's still no change, then I'll go back to sleeping at home. The kids can't miss more than a few days of school anyway, and I have work..."

"You don't have to get right back into everything, if nothing's changed," Rachel said quietly, but he shook his head.

"I do," he responded. "I can't just sit at home doing nothing. It's even worse than being here, just waiting."

Rachel nodded. "Will you at least come back with us for a bit?" she asked. "Take a shower, try to eat a bit..."

"I really should be here..."

"Please, Kurt," she insisted. "You need to take care of yourself, too."

He frowned slightly, knowing that she was right. He sighed. "Fine," he allowed. "I'll shower and change."

"And eat?"

"I'll try to eat," he agreed.

She smiled softly at him. "It'll help you feel better, I promise."

When Kurt arrived back at the hospital ninety minutes later, returning to Blaine's side, he had to admit that he did feel a little better. He had a new set of clothes on, his hair was clean, his teeth were brushed, and he'd managed to eat some fruit and toast.

He had allowed himself to hope that Blaine would be sitting up and wide awake when he got back. Still, as he returned to gently stroking Blaine's hand, he knew that that wouldn't have happened.

Besides, he reminded himself, he'd much rather be there the moment when Blaine woke up. It wasn't a completely realistic thought, he knew. After tonight, he'd have to push through and move on, just as the world around him was. He'd go home, he'd cook and clean and make sure that Ella and Aiden were coping. He'd do his best to distract them, with movies and games and anything that would keep them from immediately feeling the pain and worry.

And it wouldn't just be for them, he knew. It would help him, too.

But for now, Kurt found himself mentally tethered to Blaine's bedside. He didn't want to leave for a moment longer than necessary.

They wouldn't lose him, though. Kurt knew that somewhere deep in his heart. It wasn't just hope. He knew it.

The sound of the door opening jolted Kurt awake. He felt disoriented. He hadn't even realized how tired he'd been, but he must have been to doze off. He checked his watch. Thirty-five hours. Maybe it was a bit understandable he'd fallen asleep.

He glanced up at the nurse that entered the room. She offered Kurt a gentle smile.

"Just checking up on him," she assured him, looking at the screens and checking the bag of fluids. "Nothing to worry about." She replaced the hanging bag, and Kurt dazedly watched as it dripped down through the attached tube. "Has he moved at all yet? Woken up for even a bit?" she asked him.

Kurt shook his head, feeling the room spin slightly as he did. He squeezed his eyes shut. He felt suddenly quite exhausted, and a little sick from it.

"Would you like somewhere better to sleep?" she offered.

Kurt smiled weakly at her. "No thanks," he said. "I'd rather stay here."

She nodded. She continued her checking, then frowned.

"Is something wrong?" he asked uncertainly.

She turned to him, opening her mouth to speak, then shut it again. She sighed. "Some of his levels still aren't quite right," she said. "I'll have to go find Doctor Harper, but we might have to perform another dialysis."

"Is that normal?" Kurt questioned.

The nurse seemed to consider her options. "It can be," she said. "I think Doctor Harper was hoping that in treating some of the underlying causes, his kidney function could either be preserved or improve. It's possible that Blaine could need regular dialysis until he finds a kidney transplant." She saw Kurt's face pale. "But that's not terrible," she assured him quickly. "A bit bothersome to come in and have it done a few times a week, maybe, but it's definitely not as bad as it could be. He's still recovering fairly well."

Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath and steadying his spinning head. He wasn't even listening as the nurse excused herself again, off to find the doctor and discuss what would be done next.

Kurt closed his eyes and concentrated on his heartbeat as it slowed back down to a normal rate. He really couldn't wait for this nightmare to be over.

Just before regular visiting hours ended, Burt came to check in with his son.

Kurt was sitting back in the hallway, nursing another cup of coffee when his father found him. Kurt quickly explained the developments on Blaine's situation, how he was currently undergoing a second dialysis treatment, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Kurt could tell that his father was doing his best to hold his tongue. After more than thirty years, Kurt learned his father's mannerisms pretty well. He knew that right about now, his dad's first instinct was to be angry at the world because of how unfair it all was. And it was. It was all so very unfair. And Burt just wanted his kid to have a break. Yet every time he seemed to get one, it all fell apart at the seams. And that just wasn't right.

Kurt was happy that his dad didn't say anything, though. He tried so hard to keep himself calm. He just didn't know if he'd be able to keep his own emotions in check anymore if Burt didn't.

When his dad held his hand for the last thirty minutes before the end of visiting hours, Kurt just held his hand back. That was enough.

Kurt kept drifting in and out of sleep. He'd hoped it would be easier when he was this tired, whether or not he was comfortable, curled up in the chair beside Blaine's bed. He'd hoped that his mind would be completely useless from exhaustion, and he wouldn't be kept awake by thoughts that kept flashing in his mind. Instead, his unconscious mind seemed to be working overtime. He found himself dreaming of memories and the future and of Blaine waking up.

He hated the dreams of Blaine waking up. Then his eyes would pop open and he'd steady his breathing and take in his surroundings and realize that it hadn't actually happened yet.

If anything, it was just making him feel worse.

He considered getting more coffee or going for a walk or finding something to read, but he didn't want to do anything but sleep. He'd been up for the better part of two days. He really just needed to sleep.

So he settled for listening to the beeping on the monitor that indicated Blaine's heartbeat, reveling in the small bit of comfort that it offered.

At last, Kurt was able to sleep for a longer period than fifteen minutes. He awoke hunched over against Blaine's hospital bed, his head resting on his arms. His mouth felt pretty dry, and his head still felt a little sore and woozy. He was pretty comfortable in this position, over all, and he considered falling asleep again.

And the hand rested on the back of his neck, just where it met his shoulders, was warm and comforting, which was a welcome change.

It took Kurt a moment to truly process this thought, and he slowly pulled away and sat up. His breathing quickened as he turned slightly and found himself staring into hazel eyes.

And even then, it took him a few seconds to comprehend that Blaine was awake.

The other man smiled weakly, still looking incredibly frail and tired. But he was awake, and god, Kurt could hardly even think because he'd been waiting for this moment for almost two days.

"This isn't me dreaming again, is it?" Kurt asked a little weakly, and he felt a little foolish as he did so. Blaine chuckled slightly at this, rough and breathy. It quickly turned into a fit of coughing and Kurt quickly fumbled for the water that was beside Blaine's bed. He put the straw to Blaine's lips and he drank slowly.

"Thank you," Blaine said at last, his voice gravely and quiet.

Kurt nodded, staring at Blaine softly for a moment. There was so much he wanted to say to him, so many good and bad things. He knew he should explain everything that happened, and what it would mean for the future. Still, he couldn't quite find himself able to fill the silence. Instead, he just watched the other man laying there, now awake, making small movements every once in a while and blinking slowly.

Finally the dam broke, and Kurt found himself crying, unable to stop it any longer.

"Hey," Blaine quickly said, lifting his hand to Kurt's wrist. "No, Kurt..."

"I'm sorry," Kurt choked out. "I just... god, I was so scared, Blaine."

Blaine yanked at Kurt's wrist as hard as he could and Kurt sat at the edge of the bed. Blaine pulled him into his arms the best he could, careful not to tangle or pull out and tubes or wires.

"It's okay," he rasped. "I promise, Kurt. It's okay. It's okay."

And they sat like that for a few more moments, with Blaine repeatedly whispering the words until Kurt believed them.

At last, Kurt insisted he needed to call the nurse, and Blaine released him to do so. Kurt sat quietly as the nurses and doctors worked on Blaine, asking him questions and running more tests. At some point, Kurt disappeared to send off a text to his dad, and a copy to Finn as well, to explain that Blaine was conscious at last.

They still had a ways to go, but at least there was this. It somehow made it all so much better.

Once everything was explained to Blaine, the two men found themselves alone again. Kurt planted himself at Blaine's side again and didn't want to leave. Blaine seemed just as content with the idea.

Again they sat in silence. They knew that in just a few hours, Ella and Aiden would be arriving, eager to see Blaine. Finn and Rachel would be there as well, quickly followed by Burt and Carole. There would be so much to talk about with them, that right now, it seemed all right that they just sat together and existed, happy to be in each other's company.

As precious as time suddenly was, this seemed just as important.