Chapter Thirty-Five

Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "I'll go talk to her," he said softly, and Blaine nodded warily.

Kurt climbed the stairs slowly, at last pushing open Ella's bedroom door.

"Ella, sweetheart?"

"Go away!" came her muffled voice, her face buried in her pillow.

He sighed, sitting down at the foot of the bed. "Please talk to me," he said. "Your uncle Blaine is worried about you."

"No he's not!" she shouted, sitting up to face Kurt. "He hates me! He doesn't even want me!"

"That is not true," Kurt told her firmly. "He wants you more than anything. He hasn't spoken about anything else since all of this started. I promise you that."

"Then how could he let anyone t-take me away from him?" she asked, sniffling, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. "If he loved me, he would n-never leave m-me!"

Kurt took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "Sometimes, you can do everything in your power, but the people you love are taken away anyway. You know that your parents loved you. They loved you with all of their hearts, but they got taken away from you. And I know that Aiden's daddy loved the both of us, but he left, too." He sighed. "I know it's not quite the same, but sometimes things are out of your control. Sometimes, no matter how badly you love someone, you don't get to keep them, and it's not fair."

"It's not fair," she agreed.

"Please understand that we are doing everything we can," Kurt told her. "Your uncle Blaine and I both want more than anything to keep this family the way that it is, and that means you staying right here." He smiled softly at her. "You trust me, don't you?" She nodded. "Then I'll make you a promise."

"Pinky swear?" she asked, and he chuckled.

Kurt smiled a little weakly. "Of course." He held out his pinky, and she linked it together with hers. "I promise you that I will not let them take you away."

She hiccuped slightly. "Can you r-really keep that promise?"

"I'll make sure that I do," he said. "For both your sakes, I will do anything I possibly can. No matter what it takes."

Ella launched herself into Kurt's arms. "Th-thank you, Uncle Kurt," she said, still sniffling. "I know you mean it." She rested her forehead against Kurt's shoulder. "I'm sorry I got so upset. I love Uncle Blaine." She paused. "And I love you, Uncle Kurt."

Kurt felt a tiny ache in his chest, and he found himself desperately hoping that he could just follow through with his promise. "I love you, too, Ella."

The following weeks, as May rapidly disappeared into June, were detrimentally exhausting for both men. The hearing was rapidly approaching.

A constant feeling of nausea was settling itself in Blaine, along with a never-ending headache. Kurt reprimanded him, reminding him that he couldn't allow himself to get too stressed. If he did, it would only makes things worse.

That seemed to be slowly becoming the only thing that mattered in day to day decisions: don't do this, it'll make things worse; do this, it'll help out. But it would be over soon. And that concept was both relieving and terrifying for Blaine. He couldn't believe that so much was riding on a single day in court. Every once in a while, he'd realize that this was everything.

And then the feeling of nausea set in again.

The morning of, he just felt numb.

"Remember everything we talked about," Kurt told Blaine softly, brushing off the shoulders of Blaine's simple black suit. "Thanks to my dad's lawyer, we know already she's going to fight dirty. Don't let it get to you. It'll just make her look like a crazy bitch, and you like a calm, collected, suitable guardian."

Blaine huffed slightly. "It's hard to not let it get to me," he sighed. "Every single time we went to the hospital, when she got in trouble with the school for sticking up for me... Christ, she's bringing up us. That not only are we gay, but apparently it's all that much worse because we're living together. Most of the country still won't let us get married, and now she's using the fact that we aren't against us. How does that even make sense?"

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry," he murmured, itching to lean in and give him a quick peck, but knowing it wouldn't be the right time or place.

"Blaine, it's so good to see you."

The two men turned to see a woman approaching them, her dark hair pulled back. Blaine gritted his teeth at the sight of her, and without ever having met the woman, Kurt instantly knew who it was.

"Great to see you, too, Taylor," Blaine said tightly.

"Is this your pet?" she asked, smiling at Kurt. "So rude of you not to introduce us." She didn't pause for a heartbeat. "I'm surprised you brought your little pet, Blaine," she continued. "He's just going to hurt your case, especially in such a small, closed-minded place like this."

"He's my boyfriend," Blaine bit out. "And his name is Kurt."

Kurt stepped forward, extending his hand with the fakest cheery face he could muster. Taylor grimaced slightly as she took Kurt's hand and shook it. "I wish you the best of luck," he said smoothly. "You should really hope you win. Because if you don't, I will personally make sure that you regret every moment of this for the rest of your life."

She smirked. "Feisty," she said, her tone as close to approving as Blaine had ever heard it. "You should keep him around, Blaine. At least after you lose Ella, you'll have a plaything to keep busy with." She raised her hand in a sort of wave, and turned to go into the court room.

"Don't let that nasty, psychotic witch psych you out," Kurt muttered under his breath, turning to Blaine again. "You'll do just fine."

"I want you to stay with Ella."

Kurt blinked. "W-what?" he stammered, unable to keep the hurt off of his face.

"I don't—I don't mean because of what she said," Blaine told him quickly. "I just... if these are her last moments with us, I want Ella to be with you, and not Sam and Mercedes. I just..."

Kurt nodded slowly. "I understand that," he told him softly. "I get it. I do. Just... you'll be fine on your own? Are you sure?"

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I will be," he said, taking a deep breath. "If... if I need you, I'll have someone get you."

Kurt smiled weakly, still uncertain, and pressed the briefest kiss to Blaine's forehead. "I love you," he assured him quietly. "You'll be fine."

"I love you," Blaine responded, his voice equally soft and uncertain. "And I really hope so."

Kurt watched as Blaine squared his shoulders, and walked into the courtroom. He bit his lip nervously, the sudden sensation of helpless washing over him. It was finally sinking in that it wasn't up to them, anymore, and he hated that dreadful feeling of powerlessness.

He drew in a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes. He repeated to himself the same idea that he'd been telling Blaine for weeks now: tears and moping and worrying wouldn't help them, or do them any good. And it certainly wouldn't do Ella or Aiden any good.

"Daddy!"

Kurt opened his eyes, turning to see his dad and Carole entering the courthouse, Aiden running from Carole's grasp and into Kurt's arms.

"Hey, buddy," he said with the same sort of forced smile.

"I know it's probably a stupid question," Carole sighed, "but are you ready?"

Kurt took his lip between his teeth again. "Blaine asked me to stay with Ella."

Burt furrowed his eyebrows. "This isn't because..."

Kurt quickly shook his head. "It's not that he doesn't want me there, it's that he'd rather me be with her," he explained, trying to force himself to sound more convincing. "I can't exactly blame him. I'd want the same for Aiden."

Carole nodded slowly. "If you two are sure..."

"I'm trusting you two to come get me if things start getting ugly," he said, and they both nodded.

"You're gonna win this thing, kid," Burt told him gruffly, patting his shoulder, and entering the courtroom.

"I hope he's right," Kurt sighed, and Carole smiled warmly at him.

"I promise it will work out," she said, swiftly kissing his cheek and following after her husband.

"Daddy?" Aiden said, and Kurt adjusted his son in his arms so he could more clearly see his face. "Is Ella still going to be my sister if we don't get to keep her forever?"

Kurt swallowed tightly. "Of course," he said, bringing his son back to his chest. "We're all a family, and nothing is going to change that."

"I like having her as my sister better than not having her as my sister," Aiden said. "She helped make things a lot happier after Dada died."

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. "I know, sweetheart."

"Blaine helped too, but I don't think it would be the same if one went and one didn't went."

Kurt willed himself not to dwell on his son's words, worried that they might take him over the edge if he thought about just how true they were. He did his best not to think of the heaviness of the situation, cloaked in the musings of a six year old. "I know," he managed to repeat at last. "Come on, let's go see Ella."

The tiny room that they were waiting in was not the height of comfort. The antique office furniture made Kurt think of his great aunt's house that he'd only visited a few times as a child, but when he had, he'd been forbidden to touch anything. He wanted to take the two children somewhere, even if it was just outside, where they could play and feel normal.

As Ella and Aiden laughed and played despite the situation, Kurt tried to take deep breaths and close his eyes and justify the situation.

That was what helped. That was how things became acceptable. He'd come to pride himself in being able to mentally find the reasons for things, no matter how small. This was how he accepted so many of the deplorable things that happened in the lives of his family and friends, as well as his own life, in high school, college, and even after.

However, after a very long, aching stretch of time, the endeavor proved fruitless. He couldn't find even a dimly-lit side to the situation, nothing that would prove it to all be worthwhile. There would be no growing and changing from the situation, no tiny improvements that would be made to the lives of anyone involved, except perhaps that wretched harpy, should she win. And that wouldn't be only impossibly unfair, but wrong.

"Daddy?" Kurt looked as Aiden pulled himself up onto the stiff sofa, sitting beside him. "You know those stories you tell me about Dada when I get sad, sometimes?" Kurt nodded. "I thought maybe you can tell me and Ella some about Blaine."

Kurt looked to Ella a little uncertainly. "Uncle Blaine tells me stories about my daddy, sometimes, too," she said. "When they were younger."

"And, well, you said you knew Blaine a long time ago, too," Aiden said with a smile. "I figured that maybe you can tell us stories, then."

Ella climbed onto the other side of Kurt on the couch. "I'd like that a lot," she said.

Kurt nodded, wrapping his arms around the two children. "What sort of story do you want?"

"A happy one," Ella said. "How did you fall in love the first time?"

"Well," Kurt said slowly. "When I first met him, he was something that I'd never had before. A friend that understood a lot of what happened to me. I wasn't treated well in school, but he'd gone through the same things. He wanted to help me. And I suppose that made me love him."

"And he loved you back?" Aiden asked.

Kurt grinned. "Not quite," he admitted.

"Then how did he fall in love with you back?" Ella questioned.

"It was when I was singing a song," he said. "Sort of like in the Little Mermaid." Ella smiled at this. "Then he asked if I would sing with him."

"Did he kiss you?" Ella pressed on, excitedly.

"He did."

Ella giggled at this. The door opened, and they all turned to see Blaine enter, along with a nicely dressed woman that Kurt didn't recognize.

"Ella?" Blaine said gently, and the girl quickly ran to him.

"Uncle Blaine, does this mean—" She broke off, noticing that he wasn't grinning ear to ear, like she'd hoped he would be.

He pressed a kiss to her hair. "The judge has asked to speak to you in private. This lady's going to take you there, okay?"

Ella looked at the woman nervously, then nodded. The woman smiled at her, and the two walked off down the hall.

"Blaine, what—"

"It's normal," he quickly assured Kurt. "Sometimes the judge will ask to speak with the child in question, and might take their wishes into consideration." He paused. "I mean, it's not definite, but..."

"It's a good sign," Kurt told him with a smile.

"I certainly hope so." He took a deep breath. "We should... we should get in there and wait, I guess."

The courtroom wasn't exactly what Kurt had imagined, thinking more of the Law and Order repeats he used to watch with Carole on occasion. Though the atmosphere was probably as tense, it otherwise felt little like he imagined it.

It only took a few moments for the judge to return. Instantly Kurt felt his heart stop, instinctively taking Blaine's hand in his.

The judge settled himself in his chair, and looked down at Blaine and Taylor through his glasses. He took a deep breath. "Taking into careful consideration all of the circumstances and information presented today, and what would be best for the child in question, I have made the decision that Ella Anderson is to remain in the custody of Blaine Anderson."

He was still speaking, saying something more about the results of the trial and his decision, but that was all that mattered. They were keeping Ella. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and let out a weak, shaky laugh, Aiden and Ella laughing and cheering, Burt ruffling their hair and assuring them that he knew it, he knew it, he knew it.

So maybe things didn't have to be justifiable, because things were going to be all right.