Chapter Thirty-Four

"Hey."

Blaine looked up from his spot on the floor, his laptop set up on the coffee table, as Kurt placed a cup of tea next to it, then settled himself on the carpet beside Blaine.

"I got some books from the library today," he told him quietly. "Most of them seem to be more about custody in divorce cases, but I figured they could still be of some help." Blaine didn't answer. "My dad gave me the number for his lawyer, too. I called him today, and he said he'd meet with us tomorrow." Still no answer or acknowledgment. "And CPS is coming at the end of the week."

At this, Blaine slammed his first onto the coffee table, and Kurt lunged for the cup of Blaine's tea, making sure it didn't spill. "Child Protective Services?" he asked furiously. "Are you serious?"

"They have to, Blaine," Kurt told him quietly. "Taylor's said you're an 'unfit parent'. They'll see that it's not true the moment they walk in the front doors, but they still have to check. If we don't cooperate, it's only going to make things so much worse for us, and better for her." He sighed. "And think of what's best for Ella. If we don't work with CPS, they could put her in foster care or something until all of this is over with."

"I fucking hate her," Blaine growled, snapping his computer shut and propping his elbows up on the table. He let his face fall into his hands. "I hate that no-good homophobic—"

"Blaine..."

"No!" Blaine snapped, turning to Kurt. "How could she do this? How could she think this is okay? I wrote off everything she ever said to me when I was appointed guardian as just being emotional and irrational, but this is a whole new low. I have done nothing to ever hurt Ella. When Cooper died, my entire life became about her."

"I know," Kurt said softly.

Blaine pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I can see why she'd do it," he said bitterly. "Any problem Ella's had since I was appointed legal guardian was because of me."

"How is that true?" Kurt asked. "She had an asthma attack. That's a perfectly natural medical condition that thousands and thousands of children have. She broke her arm. You weren't even the one watching her at the time! And it was all because she was playing some stupid kid's game with my son."

"And the bullying?" Blaine asked. "That was because of me. Because of who I am."

"Ohio is never going to be the height of acceptance, Blaine."

"Exactly," he countered. "How do I know that whatever judge we get isn't going to be another homophobic bastard who will take her away from me because he sees eye-to-eye with Taylor? He could take one look at me—at us—and just decide like that that I'm unfit to be her guardian. He could look at me with the same hatred and prejudices that she does."

Kurt looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Blaine," he said. "You're right about one thing: this shouldn't be happening. But I have hope. You won't lose Ella—we won't lose her."

Blaine dropped his hands to the floor, leaning back against the bottom of the sofa and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "And what if I do?" he asked. "What do I do if I lose her?"

"You won't," Kurt repeated.

"But I could," Blaine argued. "And she's... she's so much to me. She helped me through such a dark time, and she's kept me going when I haven't wanted to. When I feel like I'm not a good enough parent, it's not because I think I'm bad, I just... she deserves everything that the world can give her, and I feel like I always need to be doing more for her, to keep her safe and happy. I want to give her so much more."

"I know that, Blaine," Kurt assured him. "Any parent feels that way."

"And what if I lose her?" he asked. "Then what? It's not like Taylor would let me see her. And I don't know how I can go on each day knowing that she's out there, and I'm not allowed to go near her." He was quiet for a long moment. "She's all I have left of Coop. But she's more than that. She's just... she's this part of my life that I never knew I was missing. I don't even want to imagine life without her." He let out a low breath. "I refuse to lose her, Kurt."

"I'll do everything I possibly can to make sure you don't," Kurt told him firmly. He pulled the other man close to him, wrapping his arms securely around him. "We'll make it through this. Everything will work out in the end."

Blaine nodded weakly against Kurt's chest. "I hope so," he said.

"It has to."

"Mr. Anderson?"

"Kurt Hummel, actually," Kurt corrected the older woman. She was dressed very nicely, her slightly greying hair pulled back. "Blaine is in the living room right now."

"Right," she said kindly and quickly, "I'm sorry about that. I'm Vivian Sheppard. I'm with Child Protective Services."

"Of course, come in," he responded, allowing the woman to enter. The two walked into the living room, and Kurt offered her a seat.

"Vivian Sheppard," she said, extending her hand to Blaine. Blaine took it.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said. "I'm Blaine Anderson, Ella's guardian."

"Nice to meet you," she responded. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you," he responded. "It's—well, it's Kurt's, technically speaking."

"We've been living together for over a year, now," Kurt explained, and the woman smiled warmly at them.

"So it's the two of you and Ella, then?" Mrs. Sheppard asked.

Kurt shook his head. "No, I have a son, as well," he told her. "From a previous marriage. My husband died a few years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said genuinely. "What's your son's name?"

"Aiden," Kurt told him.

"And he and Ella get along well?"

"Marvelously," he assured her. She grinned at this.

"Would I be able to see Ella?" she asked.

"She's in her room," Blaine told her.

"Perfect," Mrs. Sheppard responded. "We can see her there, then?"

Kurt gave Blaine's knee a quick squeeze, and the three adults ascended the stairs. Blaine knocked on the door, and then opened Ella's bedroom. The tiny girl was coloring on her bed.

"Ella," Blaine said, sitting down on the bed beside her, "this is Mrs. Sheppard."

"Hello," Ella said in a tiny voice looking confused.

"She's here to ask some questions about how you're doing," Kurt explained to her, and Ella seemed to relax slightly.

Mrs. Sheppard pulled the chair from the desk over to the bed, and she took a seat. "Hi, Ella," she said kindly. "What are you coloring?"

"Ariel and Flounder," Ella told her. "Uncle Blaine and I just watched Little Mermaid last night. It's my favorite."

"You like living with your Uncle Blaine?" she asked.

Ella nodded vigorously. "He takes really good care of me," she told the woman. "Kurt does, too. And I like being a big sister to Aiden."

The questions continued for a while, and Kurt comfortingly held onto Blaine's hand through the entire exchange. Admittedly, they were both rather happy when it was over. The three adults closed Ella's bedroom door again and went back downstairs.

"Honestly," Mrs. Sheppard said, "I see no reason that Ella can't stay with you, at least until the court makes their decision. She's the epitome a well-adjusted, happy, healthy child. I apologize for having to intrude like I did, but naturally we have to check up for every case like this. You shouldn't worry, though."

"Thank you so much," Blaine said, relieved.

Mrs. Sheppard smiled, then furrowed her brow after a moment. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you being sued for custody?" she asked tentatively. "Normally there's at least a case of misunderstanding or something of the sort. But with Ella, I simply can't figure it out."

Kurt and Blaine shared a glance. "Would you like the documented reasons or the real reason?" he asked her a little dryly.

The woman's face fell into an expression of indignation. "Oh, you can't be serious," she said. "I swear, every time this nation takes a step forward towards true equality, there's a handful of people that take five steps back. That is ridiculous."

"It's wrong," Kurt agreed. "But it's what's happening."

Mrs. Sheppard shook her head. "I'm so sorry, especially knowing that that is the real reason I was sent here today." She sighed. "I wish the both of you the best of luck, Mr. Anderson and Mr. Hummel."

"Thank you," Blaine said again, shaking her hand again as she left. The moment she was gone, the two embraced tightly.

"I knew it," Kurt breathed out. "I knew they'd let us keep her."

"For now," Blaine reminded him. "But, oh, just... thank god. Thank god, Kurt!"

Kurt could hear Blaine crying softly from relief and held the man a little tighter. "Did you hear her, Blaine?" he said softly. "She's on our side."

"I know," he murmured.

"Doesn't that give you hope?" he asked, squeezing him slightly. "I mean, maybe this is a sign of what's to come. My dad keeps saying we've got to treat this like we're going to win it." He sighed. "I think we can—we will, Blaine. I think we can really do this."

"God, I hope so, Kurt," Blaine responded softly. "I really need to."

"I know," Kurt assured him. "Me, too."

"I just..." He swallowed thickly. "How long can we keep her out of this?" he asked. "I'm scared that she's going to get dragged into court and all the questions and everything will traumatize her. She's... she just turned eight on Tuesday. She's having her birthday party in a week, and... God, Kurt, I don't know what to do about this."

"We'll talk to her," Kurt told him. "After the party. Just... let her have fun and be happy next week. We'll talk to her about it after that. Or... you can..."

"No," Blaine quickly said. "I... I want you there. I need you to be."

Kurt nodded. "I'll be here. For every step of the way."

Blaine squeezed Kurt a little more closely. "Thank you, Kurt."

The following Sunday came too quickly.

It was all that Blaine could think of during Ella's birthday party. He and Kurt both put on their biggest smiles and celebrated the day with Ella's friends from school, but still Blaine's mind couldn't escape the thoughts of what was happening.

He felt like there was an hourglass somewhere, and the sand was slowly draining to the bottom. He desperately wanted the chance to flip the hourglass over, to gain more time, but instead the idea that time was ticking away was looming over him.

It made his stomach churn.

His worry for Kurt was growing, too. Kurt had vowed to do everything in his power to make sure that they won their case, but the amount of research he was doing, and all of the meetings he was taking with their lawyer, was wearing him down even worse than before. Blaine had started to make a routine of going downstairs in the middle of the night, just to carry the other man's sleeping form back upstairs to bed. After the first two nights, Kurt stopped questioning it, and neither acknowledged just how tired the both of them were.

They sat Ella and Aiden down on Sunday night, and they shared a glance before Kurt took a deep breath.

"We have to talk about some serious things, right now," he said, carefully choosing his words.

"Is everything okay with grandpa?" Aiden asked quickly.

"Everything's fine with him," Kurt assured him. "This is about... us. Our family."

"Did we do something wrong?" Aiden inquired.

Blaine shook his head. "No, of course not."

Kurt paused for a brief moment. They'd practiced the conversation, just what they would say, but it still felt wrong, purely because the conversation should not be happening. "Ella... do you remember that lady that came by last week?" he asked.

Ella nodded. "She was nice," she said. "But she asked weird questions." She frowned. "Does it have to do with that lady?"

Kurt nodded slowly, then looked to Blaine.

"Sweetheart," Blaine said slowly. "Your Aunt Taylor wants you to come live with her instead."

Ella frowned. "But I don't want to live with her. I want to live here."

"I know, baby," he told her quickly. "We want you to, too."

"So I don't have to go, right?"

Blaine turned back to Kurt, desperately. "Ella, your aunt wants to make you live with her."

"But I want—"

"I know, sweetie, but—"

"She can't make me!" Ella said forcefully. "I don't want to, she can't make me!"

Blaine frowned. "Ella—"

"No!" she shouted. "I won't! I don't want to!"

Blaine reached forward, placing his hands on Ella's shoulders. "Ella, please—"

"No!" she cried, her shoulders heaving with her sudden sobs. "I won't go!" She wrenched herself from Blaine's grasp and bolted up the stairs, her bedroom door slamming shut behind her.