Chapter Thirty-Three

Sam and Mercedes's wedding was planned for May the 4th, 2025. Sam had picked the date, and Mercedes had agreed under the condition that having it on National Star Wars day did not mean they were having a Star Wars-themed wedding. In fact, they were not having a themed wedding at all. It would be "a big, beautiful, classic wedding", in her words.

He'd worn her down, though, into an agreement that their cake toppers be super-hero themed.

The rest of the planning was left to Mercedes and Kurt. Mercedes had opted for a wedding at her old church, followed by a short reception there. Afterwards, the entire New Directions clan would be heading back to Kurt's, for a small continuance of the celebrations.

Most of the planning went smoothly. Though the details had taken a backseat for some time, the moment Kurt had returned from Boston, the two had spent six straight weeks planning everything to the final detail.

The final thing on their list was to purchase the dresses and suits for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. It made Kurt antsy, to wait so long, but Sam and Mercedes flip-flopped so many times on numbers and colors and all the other details, that it was very nearly necessary.

"Is five bridesmaids too many?" Mercedes asked Kurt uncertainly for the hundredth time. "I mean, I know some people have like... twelve, but I don't want to go too overboard."

Kurt shrugged. "It's your wedding," he said. "You can have whatever you want."

Tina pulled out a purple dress. "What about this one? It would go really well with your colors."

"I'm not sure about the neckline on that one," Mercedes said thoughtfully. "I was thinking of more of a sweetheart neckline."

"I think I saw a few of those back there," Kurt said, waving to the other side of the store. "And what about Sam? Has he picked out who he wants for his groomsmen?"

"Yep," Mercedes responded. "He came up with five, too."

"Finn, Puck, Artie, Mike," Kurt rattled off, then paused. "Is Rory able to get a flight in from Ireland?"

"No, silly," Mercedes said with an eye roll. "You're number five."

Kurt blinked at her, stopping in his tracks while Tina and Rachel continued to the other wall of the shop, browsing through the assortment of dresses. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You," Mercedes repeated. "Sam wants you to be one of his groomsmen."

"I assume you had something to do with that?" Kurt asked uncertainly. "Because I really don't—"

"I had nothing to do with it," Mercedes assured him. "He wanted you. Is that so hard to believe?"

Kurt frowned a little. "I don't know," he said. "He and I just aren't... you know... super close, and this is his wedding. He shouldn't want me because I'm one of your friends."

Mercedes rolled her eyes again. "Boy, he likes you," she said. "You helped him out a lot in high school. When his family was broke, and then when you let him live with you. He never forgot that."

"I never forgot when he took that black eye for me, when things with Dave were at their worst," Kurt admitted. "That's not what I wanted, but... it meant a lot."

"So you'll do it?" she asked brightly.

Kurt sighed. "Sure," he said. "Just... he knows that he doesn't have to do this, right?"

"Of course he knows," Mercedes said. "Again, his choice. Completely."

Kurt sighed as they approached Tina and Rachel once more.

"Where is Quinn today, anyway?" Tina asked Mercedes. "I thought you said she was coming."

"She told me she was," Mercedes said with a shrug.

Rachel bit her lip, and Tina raised her eyebrows at her. "If you know something, you better tell us now."

"Okay," Rachel said quickly. "But you can't tell anyone." She took a deep breath. "She told me this morning that she couldn't come because she's running away with Noah."

"'Running away'?" Mercedes repeated.

Tina's eyes widened, and she shared a glance with Kurt. "As in..."

"Eloping?" he asked in disbelief.

Rachel nodded slowly.

"You had it right, Kurt," Tina said. "You knew those two were involved."

"We all sort of had our ideas, didn't we?" Kurt asked.

"I more or less walked in on it..." Mercedes murmured, and they all laughed.

"I, for one, am happy for her," Kurt said. "I mean, maybe they've always had a weird, dysfunctional, on-and-off relationship, but... I can understand her reasoning for believing he's 'the one'."

"If she's happy, I'm happy," Mercedes agreed, and Tina and Rachel nodded. She laughed. "God, I'm pretty much the last to get married, aren't I?"

"Artie isn't married yet," Tina pointed out.

"He's been on and off with his rockstar girlfriend in Hollywood for years though," Mercedes said. "And I mean of us. Hell, even Brittany and Santana have a common-law marriage."

"That's still not the case," Rachel said. "There's—" she broke off, looking a little abashed. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Who?" Tina pressed on curiously.

Rachel looked at Kurt apologetically. "I was going to say you, but—I'm sorry, I really don't know what I was thinking! I guess... I wasn't thinking, to be honest. Because—because I know—"

Kurt smiled a little tightly. "It's fine," he assured her quickly. "I mean, I'm not married."

"But..."

"Rachel," Kurt sighed, "now is not the time to talk about me. Or even Quinn and Puck, for that matter. We're here shopping for Mercedes's wedding."

"That's right," Mercedes said cheekily. "You all best be talking about me for the rest of the day." The four laughed at this. As Rachel and Mercedes began moving down the rows of dresses again, Kurt hung back for a moment, as did Tina.

"You okay?" she asked him softly.

He smiled in return. "Of course," he assured her.

She sighed. "I know that it's a bit of a touchy subject as of late," she said to him, but he shrugged it off.

"The truth of it is that I'm not married," he said simply. "I was, to a wonderful man, and he was killed. Now I'm with Blaine, and I'm just not ready for that with him." He sighed. "I love him, but it still hurts to think of that loss..."

"I'm sorry," Tina said. "I can't possibly begin to understand what you've been through and are going through. And it must really suck to have a bunch of crappy friends like us who can so easily forget on occasion."

Kurt shook his head. "I don't want Alex's death to be the thing that defines me," he said. "I don't want people to look at me and the one thing they think is, 'oh, that's Kurt, his husband died, feel sorry for him'. My husband died, but I turned things around. I picked up the pieces. As hard as it was, I moved on. I don't want everyone to have to feel like they're stepping on eggshells around me."

"We could still be sensitive," Tina insisted.

Kurt merely shook his head again. "It's fine."

Tina paused for a moment. "Have you and Blaine talked about it at all?" she asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes at this. "The only time the subject was brought up was during that ridiculous fight before I left for Boston. And you know how that went."

"So you don't know his feelings on the matter?"

"Not really," Kurt sighed. "Should I talk to him about it?"

Tina shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "I mean, he doesn't talk about it with Mike. I don't know if he does with any of the other guys. Maybe it's not something that he's thought about too much. He could still be hurting from his wedding. He could be too afraid to ask."

Kurt nodded, feeling a twisting feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach. "You're right," he said.

"I know you'd never do that to him," Tina assured him. "I think he knows that, too. He has to."

"He was just so hard to read during that fight," Kurt told her with a sigh. "I couldn't tell if he was upset about us or about our relations to the kids. You know?"

Tina nodded thoughtfully. "Have you thought about what you'd do if he proposed?" she asked.

Kurt sighed. "Probably tell him what I've told you," he said. "That I'm just not ready for that sort of thing, and I don't know when or if I will be."

Tina nodded, then smiled softly at him. "I know that things aren't perfect, but I am really glad that the two of you found each other again," she said.

He smiled again at her. "Me too," he admitted. "Come on, let's see what they're picking out."

The day of May 4th, it rained.

"It's good luck," Kurt told Mercedes with a smile. "You should be glad that it's raining."

She nodded, though she still looked a little anxious.

"You're not getting cold feet, are you?" he asked her as he zipped up the back of her dress for her. "It's okay—"

"No," she said forcefully. "Just... nervous. But a good nervous."

"Completely understandable," Kurt said with a smile. "Well, you look stunning. Sam is lucky to have you."

She beamed at him and pressed a swift kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, Kurt," she said. "For everything."

He smiled and nodded in response. "Thank you, too," he said, and she grinned.

"Now go on," she said suddenly. "You still have to get ready, too!" She quickly shooed him from her room.

He found Blaine waiting just outside. "Hey there," Kurt said with a smile. He pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Are Mikey and Ella all ready?"

"Yep," Blaine responded. "Tina's holding onto the rings until right before. And Ella is, once again, the perfect flower girl." He smiled. "I see you're still not ready."

Kurt waved his hand dismissively. "Please," he said. "Have you been in the room with the other groomsmen? They're all in their suits playing video games which, believe me, is much worse. I am right on schedule."

"You figured out the precise moment to put on your suit and have no wrinkles, then, I presume?" Blaine asked with a grin.

"You doubted that I would?" Kurt asked with a quirked brow, folding his arms across his chest. Blaine laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to Kurt's lips.

"Well, I suppose I should let you get to it, then."

"Wait," Kurt quickly said, and without another moment he pulled Blaine into his arms, holding him impossibly close. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Blaine responded, and Kurt could hear the slight confusion in his voice. "What—?"

"I'm just..." Kurt swallowed tightly. "Tina said something when we were picking up the dresses, and all I could think of since was your wedding."

"Kurt..."

"I should have been there," Kurt told him desperately.

"You were—"

"I didn't have a reason not to go," Kurt insisted.

"You did," Blaine said. "You were on some business trip, and—"

"No," Kurt cut him off. "Alex was on a business trip." He swallowed thickly again. "I had no reason not to go."

Blaine looked at him, confused. "I don't... I don't really understand."

"Well, I guess I had a reason not to go," Kurt told him uncomfortably. "But it was stupid, I just—I let Rachel get into my head, and—"

"Kurt," Blaine said gently. "It's fine. I promise, it's so long ago, it's not like I'm upset or anything. Just... tell me."

Kurt nodded, and the two sat down on a bench tucked against the wall, between two doors. "I wanted to talk you out of getting married to him," Kurt admitted. "When I first found out about it, I told Rachel I didn't think it was a good idea. I thought it was rushed and insane and so unlike you." He paused. "She told me she didn't think it was a good idea, that it wasn't my place to say anything, because I'd broken your heart."

Blaine sighed, exasperatedly. "Kurt..."

"No," Kurt said quickly. "I just... she told me then that you'd still loved me when I started dating Alex. And when she told me that, I just... I just figured she had to be right. And I just realized that I had no part in your life, anymore. Maybe you and I were still close friends, but... god, I just felt like the biggest jerk in the world. I had no place in telling you my opinions, and I really had no place at your wedding." He shook his head. "She said all these things about old wounds and... well, I just thought she was right. And I'm not even trying to pass blame off on her. I just completely convinced myself that I should not be there at your wedding. It would be tactless and uncomfortable. I don't know why you came to my wedding. I was with Alex and happy and all that, and I still couldn't stand the thought of being at yours.

"And then Rachel told me about everything that happened, and I just—I knew I'd made the wrong choice. Because I should have just pushed through any uncomfortable feeling and just been there for you, as my friend. And I wasn't, and I regret it more than anything. Especially when you were there for me, again, after Alex died." He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"None of that," Blaine told him softly, cupping his face in his hands, brushing the man's tears away with his thumbs. "Come on, Kurt, don't cry."

"I'm just so sorry, Blaine," he breathed out. "I love you so much, and I'm just so sorry for not being the same selfless friend you have been to me."

Blaine leaned in, kissing Kurt softly. "I love you," he told him. "And I've told you before that it's for the best you weren't there. I shut everyone out. Even Coop and the guys from Dalton. I needed to be alone.

"And Rachel was right," he continued. "Not about things not being your place, but... I still loved you, then. At the time, it was probably for the best that we separated ourselves more. If I'm honest, I didn't want you as a friend then, because it would have probably just hurt more."

Kurt nodded a little in understanding. "You'd have pushed me so much further away, and we wouldn't be here now, would we?"

Blaine smiled weakly. "Probably not," he said. "And that's what matters, when it comes to us. That we're here now." He took Kurt's hand in his, and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "Now come on, no more tears. You've gotta get ready. I've probably upset your entire schedule."

"I'll manage," Kurt told him, offering a watery smile. He quickly rubbed at his eyes and cheeks, taking a deep breath. "I'll see you at the reception," he promised, getting to his feet.

"It's a date," Blaine responded with a smile, and with one final kiss to the back of Kurt's hand, he walked off towards the nave of the church. Kurt watched him go, and then let himself into the room where the rest of the boys were getting ready.

"About time, dude!" Puck shouted the moment he entered.

"Cut him some slack," Sam responded, punching Puck lightly on the arm. "He was helping my bride get ready!" He turned his attention back to Kurt, noticing his red eyes. "Hey, everything all right, man?"

"Fine," Kurt said, waving his hand dismissively.

"You sure?" Mike asked in turn, and Kurt nodded.

Sam put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Seriously, if there's anything you need, just let me know," he said. "I can't thank you enough for everything you've done."

"You didn't have to do this," Kurt told him, and Sam grinned crookedly.

"You're not still on about that, are you? I wanted to."

"Come on, dude," Finn said. "We've got your suit and everything."

"We've got fifteen minutes," Artie reported.

"More than I need," Kurt assured them. "Are you ready?" he asked Sam.

"Couldn't be more ready," he said. "I've been waiting for this for ages."

The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was, admittedly, the most fun that many of them had had in a long time. It was easy to look forward to the New Directions party to follow.

The rain had cleared by the time they arrived at Kurt and Blaine's home. The backyard was a little muddy, but after the children had changed into their play clothes, they were permitted to play around in the grass, a few of the adults sitting on the back deck, drinking and chatting and laughing and watching over the children. The remainder stayed inside, the outside air still thick from the rain, and the air conditioning far more comfortable. Either way, Kurt liked it. It was like old times, with all the days they spent together before they started graduating.

When the doorbell rang at a little past five o'clock, he was confused, but Blaine quickly assured him that he could get it. Moments later, he returned to the living room.

"Who was it, Blaine?" Rachel asked curiously.

"What've you got there?" Sam asked, and Kurt noticed the manilla envelope in Blaine's hands, and the papers he'd removed from inside.

Then, he noticed the expression Blaine's face.

"Blaine?" he asked cautiously, approaching the man quickly. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"She can't be doing this," he said, looking at Kurt with an expression of pure heartbreak. "I—she—she can't—"

The entire room was painfully quiet.

"Who can't be doing what?" Kurt asked softly, gently. "Honey, what—"

"Julia's sister," Blaine explained weakly. "She's suing me for custody of Ella."