Chapter Twenty-Eight

When Blaine informed Kurt that they were going on a trip for a few days, and they were leaving that night, Kurt looked rather scandalized.

"But—school—"

"School starts next week," Blaine reminded him. "After labor day.  I've already told the principal I won't be in this week."

Kurt still shifted a little uncomfortably, pressing his lips together in displeasure. "I don't know, don't you think we should have spent more time planning this?" he asked with uncertainty.

"I've been planning this for over a month," Blaine assured him.

At this, Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "And you didn't think it pertinent to tell me?" he asked, a little snappishly.

Blaine raised one shoulder in a shrug. "You might have said no," he explained simply.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You think that might have been a clue," he deadpanned.

"Pack," Blaine said insistently. "Be happy that I'm giving you this long to prepare." He flashed him a charming smile, not the least deterred by Kurt's annoyance.

Kurt muttered something angrily under his breath, his eyes narrowed at Blaine. "Fine," he sighed at last. "Just make sure Ella and Aiden are under control. Aiden especially, he's never packed on his own."

Blaine nodded, leaving Kurt alone in their bedroom.

And then, a couple of hours later, Blaine's car was loaded up and Ella and Aiden were in the back seat (already fast asleep). Blaine ushered Kurt into the passenger seat, climbing in on the driver's side and placing a coffee tumbler in the cup holder.

He was asleep within a half hour, only waking up a few times throughout the night, merely to shift in his seat or stretch out his legs or reposition his arms.

He finally woke up to the sunlight streaming through the car window, feeling the bright heat on his face and feeling slightly uncomfortable from it. He squinted slightly out the window, glanced around at his unfamiliar surroundings, trying to make sense of them. He peered back to see Ella and Aiden in the back, still fast asleep. He directed his attention to Blain in the driver's seat once again.

"Where are we?" Kurt asked.

Blaine jumped slightly, looking over at Kurt, obviously still expecting him to be asleep. He offered him a tired smile. "Hey," he murmured. "We're just outside of Port Washington."

"New York?" Kurt whispered, his heart stuttering. Blaine nodded in affirmation. "But... that—that's where—"

"I know," Blaine responded.

Kurt was silent, his heart swelling painfully in his chest. He definitely hadn't expected this. He swallowed thickly, adjusting himself in his seat.

"How far out are we?" he inquired at last.

Blaine glanced at the clock between them. "Fifteen minutes?" he said uncertainly. "Give or take."

Kurt nodded absently, his mind buzzing. He stared out the window, vaguely recognizing the surroundings. He'd only been out to this part of New York four times. The first was to meet Alex's mother, months after they'd started dating. Second was visiting her the Thanksgiving after Aiden was adopted. Third was a few months later, attending her funeral. Fourth...

Kurt swallowed tightly, closing his eyes. He had been there just a few days short of two years before. He took a deep, steadying breath, forcing himself to stare back out the window once more. His mind was racing and swirling, but he tried to remain calm. He simply didn't think that this would be where they'd be traveling.

"Stop," Kurt said suddenly, five minutes later, grasping onto Blaine's arm. The other man glanced at him in alarm, pulling over to the side of the road. He followed Kurt's gaze, spotting the small set up beside them, a few yards back off the road. Kurt didn't take his eyes off of it. "Aiden wanted to get Alex flowers last year," he murmured, but Blaine understood before Kurt had even uttered the words, remembering the little boy asking him the year before.

Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt, climbing out of the car, his legs still a little stiff from the long drive. He moved to the backdoor, opening it and unbuckling Aiden.

"Hey sweetheart," he said, taking the small boy in his arms. Aiden was blinking into the sunlight, rubbing at his eyes. "I have an important task for you. I need you to pick out some flowers that Dada would have liked."

The little boy nodded and Kurt shut the door behind him, carrying Aiden over to the stand. Blaine watched them for a few moments until at last they returned with a bouquet of daisies. Kurt placed Aiden back into his seat, the little boy still clutching the daisies.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Ella at last woke up when the were just outside of the cemetery, pulling to a stop once more. Kurt climbed out of the car again, taking his son into his arms.

"Are you staying?" Kurt asked to Blaine, as he climbed out of the driver's side.

Blaine shrugged. "If you need me to, I can," he said. "But I assumed that the three of you would need some alone time."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you," he said, pressing a swift peck to Blaine's cheekbone. "Where will you be?" He paused. "Come to think of it, where will we be staying?"

Blaine offered him a smile. "It's been a while since we've seen Brittany and Santana, hasn't it?" Blaine said simply. "I called them up when I was planning this. We're staying with them for the night, then we'll be back on our way tomorrow night."

Kurt smiled softly in return. "You're amazing," he said simply. "Thank you."

"Go on," Blaine urged him. "Send a text when you're ready, and we'll come to pick you up."

Kurt nodded, shifting Aiden in his arms and walking down the path.

"Thank you again," Blaine said, a tired smile on his lips.

Santana shrugged. "You're the one doing all of this for Kurt," she said simply. "Besides, Brittany is completely in love with Aiden and Ella. She would have hated me if I told you all to just stay in a hotel."

Blaine hummed in response, glancing at Brittany and Ella, the latter of which was standing on the former's toes, giggling as they spun around in circles, performing a sort of make-shift dance. "How have you two been doing?" he asked.

Santana shrugged again. "All right," she said. "This is the first day Brittany's had off in weeks, I swear to god. She's been practicing for the Rockettes every hour of the day, every day of the week."

"And you?"

"Getting gigs whenever and wherever I can," she said. "I've actually been doing pretty well for myself."

"That's fantastic," Blaine smiled.

"And you?" she asked.

"Well, I'm still teaching, and Kurt's still writing," he said. "He might be in for a promotion soon, actually."

Santana smiled softly at him. "Good," she said. "He deserves it." Blaine nodded in agreement. "Did you want to lay down?" she asked suddenly. "We cleaned up the bedroom so you guys could stay in there. Figured we could set up the air mattress for the kids a bit later, and then she and I would take the pull-out couch—"

"You didn't have to do that—"

"Don't say it twice or I'll take back the offer," she said, smirking. "Now, go on and lay down. Brittany came up with all these plans to take Ella around the city when you told us the general idea of what was happening. She figured we'd let you sleep while the three of us go on 'an adventure'."

"Sounds amazing," Blaine sighed. "I could really use a nap." He smiled at Santana. "You'll call if there are any problems, though? And then maybe we could get dinner?"

"Already planned," Santana continued smoothly. "I have a gig tonight, and you're all coming."

Blaine grinned at her, albeit a little tiredly. "Fantastic," he said. "I can't wait."

"Well, you'll have to. Get off to bed," Santana urged him, giving him a tiny shove toward the bedroom.

Blaine smiled at her and gave her a small wave. She simply rolled her eyes at him in response. He crossed the room, swooping in to give Ella a tiny kiss on the forehead before hugging Brittany close to him, pressing a kiss to her cheek as well.

"See you at dinner!" she said to him cheerfully. "I'll take good care of the princess, I promise!"

"You'd better," Blaine responded with a wink before moving into the bedroom. He closed the door behind him, not bothering to turn on the light. He moved to the window, twisting the rod for the blinds so that tiny strips of light danced across the ceiling, but ultimately the room was engulfed in darkness. He toed off his shoes, sighing as he dropped himself onto the bed, not even bothering to change his clothes or get under the covers. And still, within a few minutes, he was fast asleep.

Kurt's pulse quickened slightly as he walked down the path, clutching Aiden close to his chest.

"Are we really seeing Dada?" Aiden asked, the daisies still in his tiny hands.

Kurt offered him a small smile. "Yeah, we are," he told his son. "And you get to give him those nice flowers."

Aiden grinned at this. "Good," he said. "I think Dada will like them."

"Me too," Kurt responded. Once they were a few feet away from the grave, Kurt gently set Aiden back on his feet. He gently smoothed out his clothes, still smiling a little tentatively. "Are you ready?" he asked, brushing his son's hair out of his eyes. Aiden nodded, and Kurt took his hand, walking the short remaining distance to the grave.

At the foot of the grave, Aiden stopped in his tracks. Kurt tried to smile at him reassuringly, but Aiden bit his lip. Kurt took another deep breath and stepped forward, closing the distance. He crouched right beside the headstone.

"Hey," he whispered. "I—" He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes and resting a hand on the cool stone. "I've missed you so much, Alex. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get here." He licked his lips, letting out a slow breath. He cleared his throat and spoke a little more loudly. "Aiden's here, too. He brought you flowers." He turned back to their son. Aiden slowly approached his father, standing directly beside him before resting the daisies right against the stone.

"Hi Dada," he said. "I picked those out all by myself." He glanced to Kurt again before continuing, staring at the ground. "I wanted to get you some last year but Daddy and I couldn't come, so I gave the flowers to Daddy instead. Blaine and Uncle Finn helped me get those." He looked at his hands, then broke out into a grin. "I started preschool last year," he said excitedly. "I got really good grades. My teacher says I'm really smart. Daddy... Daddy told me that you'd be really proud of me." He paused for a moment, and Kurt placed a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. "I'm really proud of Daddy, too. He used to be so sad all of the time, but he's so happy now. I know it is hard for him sometimes, but I think he's doing a really good job at everything." Aiden glanced at Kurt, but he frowned slightly. "Did I say something bad?"

Kurt shook his head, smiling at his son as he wiped at his eyes. "No," he assured him quickly. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. "You said everything perfectly."

Aiden beamed at him. "Can I go climb trees now, Daddy?" he asked brightly. "I wanna show Dada."

Kurt smiled, kissing the top of his son's head. "Go," he told him softly, and watched as Aiden ran off. Kurt turned back to the headstone, running his fingers softly over the engraving, letting his fingers trace the name of his late husband. "He's growing up so wonderfully," he whispered. "I wish you could see it. You would be so proud of him." He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm scared sometimes that it's not good enough with just me here. All I can think is how badly he needs you in his life, sometimes." He sighed. "I can't change that, though. I can't change what happened... I wish I could, Alex. Wish you were still with me." There was a slight pause, and he closed his eyes for a moment.

"I wanted to hate you, for a while. For leaving me. But I couldn't hate you. I couldn't even hate them for what they did to you, there was no way I could hate you. Blaine helped me a lot with those thoughts." He smiled a little more strongly. "You remember Blaine. He was at the wedding. We... you and I... we talked about him a few times." A small laugh escaped his lips. "He was one of those reasons I didn't want to go out with you at first. He was there for me after you... after—after everything. He's helped me so much that I can't even possibly begin to explain it. But you'd understand. You always did." He smiled softly, letting his hand fall from the headstone, glancing back over at Aiden for just the slightest moment before staring back at the stone again. "I love him," Kurt admitted. "If it weren't for him, I—I would be so lost. But he convinced me to pick everything back up and start fresh, to remake my life into something that I could stand living.

"And I'm... I'm happy. It's taken a lot of work, but I'm happy. And I didn't think there would be a time when I could be happy again, not without you. But I am, and that's how I know it's all okay because you told me so many times that you just wanted me happy more than anything else," he said. "I think that for two years of time, I've made a lot of progress, all things considered. I still miss you, and I will every day, but... it finally stopped hurting." He smiled, then lifted his fingers to his lips, giving them a peck and then pressing them against the headstone, as though transferring the kiss.

He got to his feet at last, simply staring at the grave for several long moments. He suddenly felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. That sensation mixed with another, swelling in his chest and stomach; it felt a lot like hope.