Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Yeah, chickenpox," Kurt sighed into the phone. "It's my fault, too. I was supposed to take him in for the second dose of the vaccine for months, but with Blaine and Ella moving in, and that whole mess with her at school, and then my dad being in the hospital... not even to mention Alexander being born... I completely forgot."

"Please," Mercedes responded. "It isn't that terrible. I had chicken pox when I was a kid, and it wasn't mentally scarring for the rest of my life or anything like that. Aiden will be just fine."

Kurt hummed in response. "I suppose," he said. "But I feel terrible. And now Ella's got it, too. She had the vaccine so it's nowhere near as bad, but being in such close contact with Aiden all the time..."

"And how is she taking it?"

"She's the one pitching a fit, honestly," Kurt said with a chuckle. "She was supposed to go over to Tina's for swimming with Mikey on Friday, but obviously that's not happening."

"They'll live," Mercedes told him again.

Kurt turned as Blaine entered their bedroom, carrying a basket filled with laundry. They shared a brief smile. "Well, I better get going," Kurt sighed into the phone. "Aiden's been making a habit of waking up at four in the morning scratching like crazy, so I need to try to get some sleep before then."

"You take care, boo," Mercedes instructed.

"I will," Kurt assured her. "And congratulations again." Blaine raised a questioning eyebrow at him at these words, and Kurt held up a single finger, indicating he'd explain in just a moment. Blaine nodded and went back to folding his clothes.

"Thank you!" she said, a tone of excitement evident in her words. "I hope you realize I really will be enlisting your help, the moment I get to stop and think about things again. Right now my mind is still too fuzzy with excitement."

"Completely understandable."

"You're going to regret offering to help, boy!" she told him, and Kurt smiled at her words. "I'll talk to you later, sweetheart."

"Night, boo."

He ended the call, turning his attention back to Blaine, who was looking at him questioningly.

"Sam proposed to Mercedes," the brunette reported.

Blaine raised an eyebrow at Kurt. "Seriously?" he asked. "That's great."

Kurt smiled, nodding, though it faltered after a moment. "Can I ask you something?" he said softly. "I'm warning you now it's—it probably is a... well, not a touchy subject, but... perhaps not the most comfortable of topics."

"Of course," Blaine responded, glancing back at Kurt for a moment before returning to his laundry. "You can always ask me anything."

Kurt fixed Blaine with a stare, licking his lips a little hesitantly. "Why did we break up?" he asked in a cautious voice.

Blaine stilled completely, clutching a cardigan mid-fold. "It wasn't exactly my idea," he said emotionlessly, not turning around to look at Kurt.

"I know," Kurt responded, his voice sounding so uncharacteristicly small. "That's not what I meant, though... I—I know the technicalities of it. I know that it was my idea, my fault, whatever. But..."

"But?" Blaine asked, turning around.

Kurt gave him a sad smile. "But I thought you were going to fight for me." The admittance stung, causing Blaine's heart to ache slightly.

"I thought you didn't want me to," Blaine replied at last, the words sounding strange and forced, as though they weren't in his own voice.

"Why wouldn't I want you to?" Kurt asked him. "Blaine, I loved you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Then why did you break up with me?" Blaine snapped, the words coming out more harshly than he intended. He paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Kurt responded. "I didn't mean to start a fight."

"No," Blaine assured him quickly. "It's fine, I'm not angry. Really." He sighed. "I always figured this conversation would happen eventually, anyway."

Kurt nodded vaguely. He looked up at Blaine with that same sad smile. "I really thought you would come after me," he said.

Blaine sighed, throwing his clothes back into the laundry basket and sitting on the bed with Kurt. "But then why did you break up with me in the first place?" he pressed on.

Kurt shrugged one shoulder. "It really made sense to me at the time," he said, and Blaine couldn't help but feel a small sense of admiration at Kurt's ability to always sound so controlled. "It felt like we were drifting apart. We were fighting more, we almost never had the time to see each other... and then one day, the thought crossed my mind that it shouldn't be that hard. If it was meant to be, it wouldn't be that hard. And I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. And so I... I decided that if you wanted it as badly as I did, you'd fight. And I thought that if you didn't, maybe it was too hard on you. That... maybe you'd been having the same doubts."

Blaine sighed. "I had doubts," he admitted. "Of course I had doubts. We were young and naïve, but we still should have known that it wasn't going to be easy. We should have known that if we wanted it, we needed to work hard for it." He sighed, running his hand over his face. He let out a bitter laugh. "I had thought that you wanted space. I thought that I needed to give you space. I was certain that if I gave you that space, you'd come back to me. So I just... waited. I waited as days turned into a week, and as weeks turned into a month, and when months turned into a year. You didn't come back. And so I thought... I thought that you didn't want to."

"I thought that you didn't want me, anymore," Kurt told him.

"I always wanted you," Blaine said breathlessly. "I never stopped." He cast his gaze downwards. "By the time I realized I should have fought, it was too late."

"But it was never too late—"

"It was," Blaine said firmly. "When you started dating Alex."

But Kurt shook his head. "If you had come back for me, I would have chosen you."

"That's a lie," Blaine said. "And I don't mean it offensively. I just... I know you. And I know that you loved him."

"I loved you, too," Kurt insisted.

"I know," Blaine assured him. "But you never have to pretend you didn't love Alex." He smiled wryly. "I loved Christian. Maybe not as successfully, but I did love him."

"I know," came Kurt's similar response.

Blaine watched Kurt as he directed his attention back to the bed sheets, watched as he licked his lips and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, Kurt glanced back up to Blaine, folding his legs up beneath him. A question was still burning in Blaine's mind.

"What brought all of this up?" he asked cautiously.

Kurt allowed himself a small smile. "It's stupid," he told him.

"Obviously it isn't," Blaine responded insistently.

"It is," he said a little too quickly. "It just... It's stupid and embarrassing and I'd rather forget about it."

"Come on, Kurt," Blaine persisted.

Kurt sighed. "I thought... god, I can't believe I'm admitting this." Kurt brushed his bangs out of his face. "I thought Rachel was so ridiculous for the way she acted in high school. I thought she was insane and completely rushing into things and I spent so much time trying to be the voice of reason with her and Finn. But, if I'm completely honest... if you had asked me, I would have said 'yes'."

It took Blaine several moments to make the connection, to process just what implication it was that Kurt was making. His stomach swooped a little the moment he did.

"It was stupid to think it, I know that it was and I even knew it then. I don't know, I almost thought you would ask when I left for New York. But—I mean, we were seventeen, it would have been... irresponsible. It would have been beyond stupid."

"Kurt."

The word cut through his babbling and Kurt looked up to Blaine, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he sighed.

But Blaine took Kurt's hand in his. The brunette felt a small sense of comfort. It was like a small push for him to continue, to explain.

"I just want you to know," Kurt told him slowly, choosing his words carefully, yet sounding completely vulnerable as he did so, "that I really did think it was you. Just you. I thought you were going to be my future, that you were going to be my life."

"But you loved Alex, too," Blaine reminded him yet again. "Which is more than acceptable. You're trying to rewrite the past, but... I never asked you to marry me. I never fought for you. You fell in love with Alex and you married him and adopted Aiden with him. And I fell in love with Christian. Christian broke my heart, and Alex was killed." He let out a slow breath. "But that's how it is that we're here now. Us. You and me."

"You never think of the lost years?" Kurt inquired in a whisper.

"They weren't lost," Blaine said simply. "They were spent becoming who we are now. I'm not the same boy you met at Dalton all those years ago," he said purposefully. "And neither are you." He placed a hand on Kurt's cheek, winning the slightest hint of a smile from him. "I try not to dwell on what could have been, any more. Because maybe, you were meant to suffer a serious loss. Maybe if it wasn't Alex, it would have been me. Only then, you wouldn't have had someone here for you, waiting to put the pieces back together. There wouldn't be an Aiden, and the beautiful little girl I love more than life probably wouldn't be in my care." Kurt nodded. "I know you don't believe in god, but I believe in the idea that things happen for a reason, no matter how cliché it might be. For whatever reason, things were meant to turn out this way. Maybe breaking up years ago was the right thing for us to do, because maybe we really honestly weren't meant to last then. But maybe we are now." He sighed, looking at Kurt with an almost apologetic expression. "I know that right now, all you can do is look back at your time with him and just see the pain. At least with Christian, I had the ability to place all the pain and anger that I had on him. You don't have that option. I mean, you could, but that's not who you are. But you don't have to just look back and think that it wasn't a worthwhile experience because it hurt you so badly. It was worth so much more, and I know you know that."

"You're right," Kurt responded at last. "I know you're right. I'm just being a bit stupid."

"You're not being stupid," Blaine assured him. "Believe me, I spent a lot of time thinking of all the things I could have done and should have done, on the off chance that maybe my life would be better. But it really just... isn't worth it."

Kurt nodded, and Blaine leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on Kurt's lips. "I love you," Kurt whispered.

"I love you, too," Blaine told him.

"Thank you for easing my mind," Kurt said, and Blaine smiled, sweeping in for another kiss.

"It's my job, isn't it?" he said teasingly, and he felt Kurt smile against his lips.

"Tough job," Kurt responded. "I hope it pays well."

"Marvelously," Blaine assured him, resting his hand on the back of Kurt's neck, pressing a line of kisses along the taller man's jaw, forcing him to sigh contentedly. "But I still think I'd do it for free."

"Really now?" Kurt asked him breathlessly, threading his fingers through Blaine's curls. "Because if that's an offer..."

"Maybe not," Blaine conceded. "Because right now, I really don't want to do anything other than kiss you senseless."

"Nothing else?" Kurt asked coyly.

"Again, you've caught me," Blaine muttered into Kurt's neck. "I can think of several things I'd like to do to you right now, but they're not very appropriate for me to say out loud."

"I see," Kurt said, letting out a tiny gasp as Blaine nipped at his neck, feeling the tingling pleasure shoot through his spine. "I guess you'll just have to show me, then."