Dec. 31, 2021, 1:30 a.m.
Sideways: Chapter 7
E - Words: 5,935 - Last Updated: Dec 31, 2021 Story: Complete - Chapters: 37/37 - Created: Dec 31, 2011 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 12,998 0 26 0 2
Chapter 7:
Blaine was avoiding him. Not that Kurt minded, particularly, because he was mad at him. And it wasn't just a whim, Kurt was really mad at him for allowing what he did in what he claimed was 'his school'. He could have stopped it, Kurt knew that. The problem was that he wouldn't stop it and mostly because he believed that he couldn't. Kurt could see right through him. He was afraid. He didn't want people to think he was a nice guy, he wanted to be seen as a threat, because that was how he gained respect. It was also the only way he knew how to be.
Kurt had spent a lot of time thinking about it. A week passed and Blaine still hadn't spoken to him. During English, they ignored one another. Kurt used this time to think. Blaine obviously had some kind of emotional problem, whether it had to do with his parents, or his grades, or whatever else. He also had sexuality issues, obviously. Kurt didn't think he was ready to admit that, though. Maybe he never would be. From what Mercedes and the others in glee club told him, Blaine and Quinn had been an item for two years and it looked serious. Kurt didn't point out that Blaine, at least, obviously wasn't taking it very seriously if he had cheated on Quinn with him, but he was thinking it all the while.
Kurt was angry at Blaine, but try as he did, he didn't hate him—couldn't hate him. It was strange. Kurt found himself trying to figure Blaine out and thinking about him far more often than he really should have done. He liked Blaine, in some twisted way. Maybe he was a masochist. He didn't know. Blaine was an asshole and he treated Kurt like crap, but Kurt couldn't help but think back to how gentle he'd been when he'd first kissed him, how he'd uttered his name so quietly and how his heart had been beating so fast against Kurt's back that night. Kurt had tried to push it away, the memory of that night, but he couldn't. It wasn't going to go away, regardless of what he did and he didn't want to think of Blaine like this, he wanted to hate him, wanted to tell him to stay away from him, wanted to go to Mrs Flynn and beg her to reassign him a partner, but he couldn't do any of that.
He told himself then that he would make Blaine a sort of project. He wouldn't tell Blaine that, of course, but he would try to work him out and understand why he was the way he was. At least then he might have an excuse for not hating him. Beyond doing that, he wasn't really sure what else he could do. He wouldn't even try to help him, because Blaine clearly didn't want anyone to help him, but he would try to understand. Except Blaine was avoiding him, which left Kurt right back at square one. He was far too stubborn to be the first one to break the newly formed ice, so he would have to wait until Blaine got down off his high horse to do anything.
It was exactly a week and three days before that happened.
Blaine didn't understand why he was feeling what he was feeling. He still couldn't rid his stomach of that nagging, empty feeling and he had figured out why. He didn't understand it, but he'd figured it out. It had occurred to him while he was at Quinn's house and she was placing sloppy kisses on his neck. He stared up at the white ceiling and just blanked for a while. He and Quinn hadn't made up following the party incident, instead, Quinn had simply put it behind them and acted as if nothing had ever happened. Blaine didn't argue, because Quinn was the one everyone expected him to be with and on top of that, he hated fighting with her, not because he loved her so much that he never wanted any uneasy feeling between them, but because she was sort of irritating and he didn't need any more nagging than he was already enduring.
It struck him at that moment that the reason all of this was happening was Kurt Hummel. He wasn't sure why exactly, but he had figured out that it had only happened after Kurt had arrived at McKinley and most of the time, it got really bad when he was in his presence. He had accepted that he didn't like hurting Kurt, he just hadn't figured out why until now and the reason was that he liked him. And Blaine didn't just like Kurt, he really liked him and in ways that he had never liked anyone else. Yes, he had a twisted way of showing it, but frankly, that wasn't a bad thing, because he didn't want to show it at all.
Blaine had never had any reason to believe he was gay, nor had he ever given himself any reason to believe he was straight. If he was honest, he had never really been attracted to anyone, not really. Sure, the odd person here and there when he'd been a lot younger, but that hadn't happened in a long time. There had been girls before Quinn, but he'd really only dated them to keep up with the other guys who seemed to have a different girlfriend every other week. The fact was that Blaine had never really addressed his sexuality completely. Of course, like all teenagers, he'd experienced the thought what if I'm gay?, but he had never really and truly thought it out. He'd dismissed it the second he'd thought it, all those years ago, because he couldn't be gay, he was Blaine Anderson and things like that didn't happen to people like Blaine Anderson.
Now, with Quinn's body pressed to his, it was a whole new kettle of fish. He'd thought a lot about what had happened between himself and Kurt and the more he thought about it, the more the panic seemed to flit away. It was still there, of course, because the idea of being gay, or even bi, was terrifying to him. His father would have a heart attack and he would be instantly considered a social pariah and he couldn't handle either of those things, so he decided the only thing to do was to push it away. That way, it might just go away. Except it didn't and he refused to accept it.
Then he'd started over-thinking it. He couldn't be gay, because things like that didn't happen to people like Blaine. He would grow up, get into a good college, marry Quinn, get a good job and start a family. His future was mapped out for him and Kurt Hummel was obviously just some sort of phase. Perhaps he had mistaken real friendship for something more, simply because the people he called his friends, weren't anything like friends were supposed to be. That had to be it. That was his story and he was sticking to it.
After football practice on Thursday after school, Blaine had walked back to his locker to pick up his books and that was when he bumped into Kurt. They had stopped still in the hallway and just stared at each other for a moment and Blaine couldn't help feeling a bit relieved that Kurt hadn't simply spun on his heel and walked away. Even if he didn't believe he liked Kurt in ways that he shouldn't, he still sort of wanted to be friends with him, or at least go back to the strained friendship they'd had already. Besides, their assignment was suffering. Mrs Flynn had assigned the cultural context paper, just as Blaine had expected, yet he and Kurt hadn't even begun yet.
Blaine was the first to speak.
"Hey," was all he said.
Kurt just stood there, blue eyes wide. He was wearing really tight pants again and Blaine couldn't help remembering what he'd looked like without those pants. He shook his head, trying to get rid of that image.
"What are you, um, doing here, so late?" Blaine asked.
"Glee club," Kurt provided and Blaine nodded. To Blaine's surprise, Kurt went on. "I, um, forgot some things in my locker."
"Oh," Blaine said and instantly felt dumb for not knowing what else to say. He wanted to talk to him, he just didn't know how.
Blaine watched as Kurt began to walk towards his locker in silence. Blaine followed.
"So, um, our 'Jane Eyre' paper.." Blaine trailed off, unsure of how he should finish that sentence. He ignored the empty feeling in his stomach as he tried to think of what else to say, but Kurt spoke first.
"Yeah," he said, as he began to twist the lock on his locker door. "We should probably get on that, huh?"
"Yeah," Blaine said. He watched Kurt for another while, as he twisted his combination lock over and over, sighing every time the locker didn't click open. Finally, he reached across to help, but his hand landed on Kurt's. Kurt's eyes met his and neither of them budged for a long time. Blaine kept his eyes locked with Kurt's baby blues, unable to look away. He could hear his heart beating in his chest and a lump had formed in his throat, leaving him incapable of speech. His hand was still on Kurt's and neither of them had made any move to break contact. Blaine's mind was spinning because this was what was not supposed to happen, it was something he definitely did not want to happen. But he couldn't pull away, his body wouldn't allow it and at that moment, his mind betrayed him and forgot the difference between right and wrong and all he could do was stand there.
Kurt didn't look away, either. He wore a blank expression and Blaine couldn't tell what he was feeling. It was Kurt who tried to speak first.
"Blaine, I—"
One minute Kurt had been speaking, trying to tell Blaine.. something (he wasn't sure what exactly, but speaking had felt like the right thing to do), and the next minute, Blaine had shoved him up against his locker and pressed his lips against his. Kurt gasped when his back hit the cool, hard locker, but then forgot about it, because Blaine's tongue had shot past his lips and plunged through his teeth and had found a rhythm with his own tongue. Kurt didn't know why it was happening, he just knew that, despite the fact that this was Blaine Anderson, the guy who had been treating him like crap since the first day he'd entered McKinley High, he didn't want it to stop and it frightened him a little bit that he could feel this way about someone who put him through hell.
Then he felt how softly Blaine's lips were pressing against his own and how gently his hands were clutching his shoulders and he was reminded of the Blaine that had spent the night with him the previous week.
"I'm mad at you," Kurt whispered once Blaine had moved back an inch or two.
"Are you?" Blaine asked. Kurt caught the small smile dancing on the corners of Blaine's lips and couldn't resist smiling himself. Blaine inched forward a little so that his lips were brushing Kurt's again. "How mad?" he breathed, breath warm on Kurt's mouth.
"I can't remember," Kurt told him, truthfully.
"That's what I thought," Blaine said, succumbing to the smile, before covering Kurt's mouth with his again.
Was this the real Blaine Anderson? And if so, what did Kurt have to do to convince him it was okay to just be himself?
Blaine kissed him again when they met up to work on their paper. He'd kissed him when they left the library and then again when they stopped at a red light on the way home. Neither of them understood it entirely, but they both wanted it, so why stop?
After the fourth time, it began to feel sort of normal. Kurt liked this side of Blaine and as much as he hated that it was happening, he was sort of falling for him, against his own better judgment, of course. So, for a while, he didn't dare discuss their little arrangement for fear of it all becoming too real, thus coming to an end.
Except the fact that it was happening kept playing on his mind. Blaine was straight, or at least claimed to be. He had a girlfriend, he was still treating him like crap in front of his friends and every time they kissed, Blaine seemed to act as if it hadn't happened, or like it hadn't meant a thing. Kurt felt as if it was time to ask questions, find out what this was.
One day while they were at the library working on their paper, Kurt asked him about it.
"Blaine."
"Hmm?" Blaine asked, as he searched through his book for something, eyebrows furrowed in the centre.
"Do you think you might be gay?"
Blaine's eyes shot up, then and the book fell from his hands, causing him to lose his page. He didn't look as if he cared about that, though.
"Wh-what?"
"Do you think you might be gay?" Kurt repeated.
"Of course not," Blaine shook his head. "Why would I be gay?"
Kurt didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow and Blaine looked nervous. Kurt didn't want to push him because he knew what it was like to be afraid because of who you were.
"What about Quinn?"
He looked distressed now.
"What about her?" he asked, golden eyes darting around.
"You're cheating on her."
"No, I'm no—"
"Blaine," Kurt said, over him. "If you're making out with someone that is not your girlfriend, it means you're cheating on your girlfriend."
This seemed to be news to Blaine. He dropped his chin and stared down at the table. Kurt wondered if it would be weird if he leaned across and laid a hand over his, after all, they'd had their tongues in one another's mouths. But he didn't do it, because Blaine was still Blaine and even if he wasn't as bad when it was just the two of them, he was still on the defence most of the time.
"Do you love her?"
"What?" Blaine asked, looking up. He looked a bit stunned.
"Quinn," Kurt clarified. "Do you love her?"
Blaine was silent for a while, his eyes back on the table in front of him.
"She's my girlfriend," he muttered with a lazy shrug.
"That's not what I asked," Kurt pointed out.
"She.." Blaine trailed off, searching for words. "She's hard to love."
"So, no," Kurt nodded.
Blaine didn't argue. It gave Kurt an inexplicable thrill to hear him clarify that. He shook his head.
"So, why are you even with her?"
Blaine kept his eyes on the table for a few seconds, his hand clutching a pen. His fist was clenched around it and Kurt watched as the pen burst and blue ink exploded all over Blaine's hand and the table in front of him. He raised his head then. He looked pained.
"Why do you care?" he asked, grimacing down at his ink-covered hands.
"I don't care," Kurt sighed, pulling a small packet of tissues from the side pocket of his bag. He handed them to Blaine. "I just thought you could use someone to talk to. It certainly seems like you do," he said, gesturing to the pieces of pen on the table.
Blaine wiped the ink away and left the blotted tissues on the table in front of him.
"If I tell you something about me," Blaine began raising his eyes to Kurt's. "You've got to tell me something about you."
Kurt shrugged.
"That's fair."
Blaine nodded and looked thoughtful for a couple of seconds. He had dropped his gaze from Kurt's and he was fidgeting with the pieces of broken pen.
"Quinn is.." he trailed off and shook his head. "I'm supposed to be with Quinn. She.. I mean, we—Quinn and I—we're.."
"The power couple or something, right?"
Blaine nodded.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, something like that. It's like.. I'm Blaine Anderson, so I'm supposed to be dating Quinn Fabray, you know?"
It was messed up, but Kurt understood.
"And if you didn't?"
Blaine looked uncomfortable. He'd looked uncomfortable to begin with, but now he looked like he wanted to cover his head and never come out again.
"I don't know," he shrugged. "My dad wouldn't be happy."
Kurt opened his mouth to ask Blaine something, then closed it again.
"What?" Blaine asked.
He eyed him for a moment, then spoke.
"At Puck's party," Kurt said. "Quinn said something about.. your dad beating you up."
Blaine nodded and clasped his hands together.
"Oh."
"You don't have to tell me," Kurt assured him.
Blaine stayed silent for a while. Kurt watched him, tried to work out what he was thinking.
"It's okay," Blaine said, finally. "Yeah, he's done it before."
"For what reasons?" Kurt asked, hoping he wasn't going too far.
Blaine was twisting his fingers uncomfortably and he still looked like he was in pain, but Kurt wanted to know. He wanted to understand why Blaine was the way he was. He shouldn't have cared, he should have just stayed away from him and ignored him, because Blaine was a jerk most of the time, but he couldn't do that, he simply couldn't.
"Grades, if he thinks I haven't tried hard enough at football, if I come home drunk," he glanced at Kurt then, probably looking for a reaction, but Kurt just watched him, trying not to show the pity he was feeling. "Just whenever he feels like it, really."
"And your mom?" Kurt asked. "She doesn't say anything?"
Blaine looked even more uncomfortable, then, even though Kurt didn't think that was possible.
"My mom.. she's on a lot of meds," he explained. "I don't know what she's got, but she was pretty depressed for a while and now she's mostly just out of it."
Kurt wasn't sure what he should say to that. Saying he was sorry seemed stupid. They just sat there in silence for a while and for once, it wasn't awkward.
"So, why are you telling me all this?" Kurt asked, finally.
Blaine looked up at him, eyes wide.
"Because you asked," he shrugged.
"But you didn't have to tell me," Kurt said. "I don't understand you most of the time."
"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, quietly.
"I mean," Kurt said. "You're like this sometimes. All straight up and.. vulnerable, I guess. And then you're kissing me," Blaine flinched a bit at that. "And you're sort of.. nice to me, when the others aren't around. Why?"
Blaine didn't say anything. So Kurt went on.
"You're still an asshole, Blaine. I mean, you've gotten better, when it's just us, but at school you're an absolute idiot. At the beginning, when we started this partnership, whatever, you were always on the defence, hiding behind these walls you built up around yourself. You've torn them down a little bit, but that doesn't make up for what you do to me—and other kids—at school. I can't decide if I like you or hate you."
"You hate me?" Blaine asked, hazel eyes wide and questioning.
"Should I?" Kurt asked, with a shrug.
"Yeah," Blaine sighed, looking down at his hands. "You're supposed to hate me. I'm supposed to hate you. We're supposed to hate each other."
"But?"
"But we don't, do we?" Blaine asked, his face a mask of worry. "I mean, at least I don't think you hate me. Sometimes I think you must. Sometimes when we're at school and you're scowling at me and sending off those 'come-near-me-and-you'll-die' vibes, I think that you do hate me. You have every right to, I guess."
"I do have every right to," Kurt agreed. "But I don't hate you."
He wasn't lying, either. He didn't hate Blaine. He hated the things that Blaine did, but he didn't hate Blaine himself.
"You don't?" That seemed to surprise Blaine.
"No," Kurt affirmed. "I just think you need to be who you really are, rather than that someone that everyone expects you to be."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can," Kurt told him. "Maybe it'll take a while for you to realise that, but you can."
Blaine gave a small inclination of his head, as he continued to stare down at the table. Then he looked up, like he had remembered he wasn't supposed to get vulnerable.
"You never told me anything about you."
Kurt shrugged and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table.
"What do you want to know?"
"Whatever you want to tell me, I guess."
Kurt didn't know where to begin, really. He thought about it for a little while, then decided, basing his decision on the fact that Blaine was still an asshole and although he didn't want to hurt him, exactly, he wanted to make him feel at least a little bit guilty.
"When I was at my old school, I got bullied every day," he watched as Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "It started off like it is now, name calling, shoving, getting stuffed in lockers and thrown in dumpsters, but then it got worse."
"How much worse?" Blaine asked in a choked voice. He looked as if he hadn't really wanted to ask, but had forced himself to.
"Like I said before, broken bones, blood, all that," Kurt shrugged. "That was pretty bad, but do you want to know what the worst part is?"
Blaine gave a small nod.
"The worst part is when you have to see your dad look at you with piteous eyes because you're a victim," Kurt said. "When you see the hurt in his eyes, because he didn't know, because he didn't do anything about it. And then you watch him get mad and you feel like you've done something wrong, when in reality, you haven't. The bullies are in the wrong, not you. But you feel like you are, because you've caused your father to feel all these things."
"Kurt, I didn't kno—"
"And then he had heart problems," Kurt went on, not caring that there were tears welling in his eyes. This had begun as a means of making Blaine feel bad, but in the process, he was reliving it and hurting himself. "And I know the worry and the stress caused it. Sure, he wasn't eating healthily, or exercising enough, but I know. I know. I know that everything with me made things worse and that's the worst part, Blaine. I can't let that happen again."
Kurt watched through blurred vision as Blaine took the packet of tissues and pulled one out, before offering it to Kurt. He took it and dabbed at his eyes, cursing himself for crying in front of Blaine Anderson.
"I'm sorry."
Kurt looked up in surprise, his cyan eyes shining and wide.
"Wh—what?" Kurt asked, a little stunned.
Blaine folded his arms and looked uneasy. He spoke again, a little louder this time.
"I'm sorry," Blaine repeated and he looked as if he meant it. "I'm sorry that this is happening to you again. I just—I don't know what I can do, Kurt. And I want to do something, I do. You don't know what it's like for me. I can't just stand back and not do anything. Everything will fall apart. I can't, I just.."
Blaine trailed off, shaking his head, looking distraught. Kurt studied him and he could tell he meant it, that he was internally conflicted and afraid and all of those things he would never admit to being.
"I get it," Kurt told him. "I get that you're afraid, Blaine."
This time, Blaine didn't object or deny that he was afraid. He simply sat still, staring at Kurt with those wide, golden orbs.
"I know you're afraid of losing all these things, Blaine and I understand, to an extent," Kurt told him. "I just think that you can still succeed in life without all of this," Kurt gestured at Blaine sitting there in his letterman jacket, with his gelled hair and his clenched jaw. "You don't have to be this, Blaine. I know you can't see that now, but it's true."
Blaine was staring off into space now, his eyes wide, his mouth set into a tight line. He looked as if he wanted to cry and Kurt felt his stomach sinking. Just as it was nice to see a beautiful boy smile, it was heart breaking to watch him cry. Kurt waited a minute, then cleared his throat.
"So, um, where did you stop on the question list?" Kurt enquired, changing the subject.
"Um," Blaine looked flustered as he looked down at the loose sheets on the table. He rummaged through them and then squinted down at one. "Talk about Rochester's personality," he read.
"So, talk about Rochester's personality," Kurt smiled.
"Rochester was a pervert," Blaine said, simply.
"A pervert?" Kurt asked. "Why?"
Blaine shook his head and laid the paper down.
"Well, aside from the whole 'secret wife locked in the attic' fiasco," Blaine explained. "He was, like, 20 years older than Jane."
"Just because your love interest is 20 years younger than you, doesn't mean you're a pervert," Kurt shook his head.
"Oh, yeah?" Blaine raised a thick brow. "What does it mean, then?"
Kurt sighed and sat back in his chair.
"It just means," Kurt began. "That you don't get to choose who you fall in love with, it just happens, regardless of how different you are, it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it."
Kurt could see Blaine standing a little further away as Karofsky lifted him off his feet. He shot Blaine a look of disapproval, before he was flung inside the dumpster. He climbed to his feet, just as Karofsky walked away laughing to himself. Blaine was still standing there, his mouth down turned and his eyes wide and sad. He gave Kurt an apologetic look as he climbed out of the bin. Kurt brushed his clothes off and gave Blaine his best scowl, before stalking off to the bathroom to clean himself up.
Blaine waited until the halls were completely clear, before he pushed the bathroom door open and walked inside. Kurt was standing by the sinks, grimacing at the scarf he was wringing out under the running faucet. He looked up when Blaine walked in and rolled his eyes in response.
"I'm sorry," Blaine told him, truthfully.
He was sorry, too, really sorry, especially since Kurt had told him what had happened to him before. He figured there wasn't much point in pretending any more, not when Kurt seemed to understand what he was dealing with.
"Yeah, so you keep saying," Kurt sighed.
"I mean it, though. I am sorry," he told him, moving closer. Blaine took a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and ran them under the running water. He raised them and wiped at the large mayonnaise stain on Kurt's forearm. Kurt jerked back a bit.
"I can handle this on my own," he said. "I've had enough practice, after all."
Blaine sighed and began to dab at the stain again.
"Look, I'm trying to help you, here," he said and Kurt didn't move away this time.
After a long silence, Kurt moved away an inch and Blaine dropped his hand. Kurt looked at him with those bright, blue-green eyes and sighed, tiredly.
"Thanks, okay?" he muttered.
"You shouldn't be thanking me," Blaine said, throwing the paper towels towards the bin and missing.
"I know," Kurt said, bending to pick them up. He threw them into the bin. "I shouldn't be doing a lot of things with you, but I'm still doing them."
Blaine smiled a bit, because, even though he still didn't really understand why Kurt was talking to him and not hating him and kissing him—especially kissing him—he still couldn't help how he was around him. Yes, the empty feeling and the dread was still in the pit of his stomach and yes, his head still spun a little every time he was near him, but he still sort of liked Kurt, even if he didn't like him in that way. Blaine was straight and these things were happening and he didn't know why, but he didn't know how to stop and sometimes, he didn't even want to stop.
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, allowing his eyes to sweep over Kurt, from his head, down to his combat boots. "Are you hurt?"
"No," Kurt shook his head and Blaine smiled when he saw a piece of diced onion stuck in his hair. He reached up and began to untangle it from his sand-brown hair and Kurt moved back a little. "What are you—"
"Onion," Blaine told him and Kurt stopped moving and allowed Blaine to remove it. He smiled and held it up for Kurt to see.
"Ew," Kurt shuddered.
Blaine flung it in the bin, not missing this time, then looked back at Kurt. They looked at each other for a couple of heart beats, staying silent, then Blaine gave in and leaned across. He pressed his mouth to Kurt's tasting coffee and banana. He felt Kurt's lips developing into a smile against his own as he pushed him gently back against the wall, deepening the kiss. Kurt raised his arms, slowly and entwined them around Blaine's neck, as Blaine's moved his to encompass Kurt's waist.
Blaine's heart was beating manically in his chest as he remembered he hadn't locked the door. If someone walked in, he would be ruined. But he couldn't pull away, because it felt so good being so close to Kurt, even if he didn't understand why. Or maybe he did understand, he just didn't want to.
Kurt pulled back first with a small murmur.
"That's one of those things I shouldn't be doing with you, but I do anyway," he whispered, smiling slightly.
Blaine chuckled. They were still wrapped up in one another.
"Tell me about it," he said.
"I got ketchup on your sleeve," Kurt told him. "That's your punishment for letting these bad things happen to me."
Blaine glanced down at the stain on his sleeve, then looked back up into Kurt's cerulean blues.
"Worth it," he exhaled. He hoped Kurt hadn't heard him, but he had. Kurt smirked and opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine moved forward and closed the gap between their lips, swallowing his words.
"What the hell, Karofsky?" Kurt shouted.
One minute he'd been walking down the corridor, minding his own business and the next, he was being shoved inside the janitor's closet, by two giant-sized hands.
"Don't talk back to me, Hummel!" Karofsky growled, shoving Kurt hard against the wall.
The room was dimly lit by a small bulb hanging over head. It was filled with old paint cans and electrical tape and several frayed wires. It smelled like paint fumes and dust. Kurt shuddered at the thought of just how filthy his clothes were going to be afterwards.
"I wasn't talking back to you," Kurt said. "How could I talk back to you when you hadn't even spoken yet?"
"Do not get smart with me, Hummel!" Karofsky shouted, his thick fingers moving to grip Kurt's thin arms. He would be covered in finger shaped bruises come night fall.
"I wouldn't have to say anything too clever for you to consider me smart, Karofsky," Kurt said and instantly regretted it. Getting smart only meant things would worsen but he was so mad, he couldn't stand back and say nothing. "I mean, you're not exactly the brightest pea in the pod, are you?"
Karofsky made a loud groaning sound as he shoved Kurt harder, his left hand gripping Kurt's side and pushing him hard against the wall.
"Why are you like this, huh?" Karofsky asked, eyes narrowed. He looked psychotic and Kurt couldn't describe it any other way. "Why are you so gay? Why do you walk around swinging your little girl hips and wearing all this fucking glittery stuff? Why?"
Kurt said nothing, because there was something in Karofsky's eyes, something he hadn't seen in the eyes of any of his former bullies before and frankly, it sort of terrified him. He glanced around the room, eyes lingering on the electrical tape and the wires and he really, really hoped the janitor would get back soon, because right now, Karofsky looked entirely capable of murder and this was probably the perfect location to do it.
"You need to stop doing all that!" Karofsky shouted and Kurt flinched a bit. "You need to stop being so gay around me because it makes me crazy! I feel like punching you every single time I see you!"
Kurt closed his eyes, then, because he assumed Karofsky was actually going to punch him, but it never came. Instead of a fist, Kurt felt Karofsky's breath coming hard and fast against his face and then Karofsky's mouth was crashing against his own, their teeth colliding and Kurt pulled back and screamed, because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't scream for long, though, because Karofsky's mouth was back against his again and his large hands were pinning him against the wall and he wasn't strong enough to push him away.
Kurt tried to thump on the door with his fist, but he wasn't making much progress. His heart was palpitating in his chest and he felt the warm, salty tears escaping from his eyes even though he told himself he wouldn't cry. Then Karofsky's body was coming closer to his and he felt panic soaring through his veins. He wasn't sure what gave him the strength to do it, whether it was the adrenaline or something else, he didn't know, but he bit down hard on Karofsky's lip, causing him to pull back and curse at him. Kurt screamed as loud as he could and Karofsky looked scared, like he didn't know what to do.
"Sh-shut up, Hummel!" he said, sounding strangled. His eyes were darting around and then he looked as if he'd gotten an idea. He moved forward and covered Kurt's mouth with his again, stifling his scream.
Blaine stopped still. He'd heard it, he wasn't crazy. Someone was screaming and the sound sent chills down his spine. He swung around and listened, trying to decipher where it had come from. The screaming stopped and he strained to hear for it again. Then he heard a shuffling sound coming from his right hand side.
The janitor's closet.
He didn't think, he simply went across the hall and pulled the door open. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.
"What the fuck, Karofsky?" Blaine exploded, pulling Karofsky off of a struggling Kurt. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Karofsky looked frustrated and angry and Blaine wanted to punch his lights out. Before he had the chance, Karofsky groaned and pushed the door open and ran off down the hallway. Blaine turned to look at Kurt, who had slid down the wall and covered his face with his hands.
Blaine fell to his knees and pulled Kurt's hands away gently.
"Kurt," he said, softly. "Kurt, I—" he broke off, not sure what to say.
Kurt's face was tear stained and his eyes were wide and filled with terror. His hands were shaking in Blaine's grasp.
"Kurt, I'm sorry," he said, finally, because he didn't know what else to say. "I—he shouldn't have—he had no right to do that—it was wrong—"
"Why?" Kurt semi-shouted, his face twisted angrily. "He just did exactly what you've been doing for the past few weeks, Blaine!"
Blaine stared at him as he tore his hands out of his and stood up. Blaine stood, too.
"Don't stand there and tell me what's right and what's wrong, Blaine," Kurt said, voice cracking a bit, tears still coming from his shining blue eyes. "You and him? You're no different. You're exactly the same!"
Kurt pushed past him and walked out the door. Blaine followed and shouted after him.
"Kurt, you're not in any state to be on your own!" he said, not even thinking about the fact that there were people in class. "I'll come with you and hel—"
"Stay away from me, Blaine," Kurt shouted, not even glancing back at him.
Blaine stood there and watched him go and he felt worse than he had ever felt in all his seventeen years of living.
Comments
So much blangst... I love it so much oh my god... This is currently my favorite WIP
I love angst and I really love blangst :P Thank you so much! :D
It just means, Kurt began. "That you don't get to choose who you fall in love with, it just happens, regardless of how different you are, it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it." --i simply adored that line. I could just picture Kurt saying this without really realizing what it meant for them. The angst, wow! :( this is by far your best chapter! It has very sweet scenes, some heartflet ones, and then the impending angst. (No lie, every time they kissed in school I worried they would be caught...) Really Great Chapter!
Hahaha yessss, Blaine sort of connected it a little bit though, even if he didn't want to. Thank you so much, it was my favourite to write! Thank you! :D x
Thank you so much! That means a lot! :D x
Ahh!! I got some vulnerability and so much perfection that is this chapter!! I agree, this is my favorite by far.
Finally!!!! Since the beggining, i felt like it was sorta like the karofsky story line. And you seemed to sorta acknoledge it when kurt said that blaine was being like karosfky. i give you kudos for that. but obviously, blaine was a bit less violent and stuff, but still a bully nonetheless.
Thanks! I think I needed to add some Karofsky to kind of show the difference between bully!Blaine and Karofsky haha
that...that was heart-breaking :( poor blaine he really doesn't know what to do...
haha yeah, he's so conflicted:') Thanks for reading! :D x
definitely my favorite chapter as well!!
Thank you so much! :D x
omg i love this 100000000000000%!! more more more?:D omg i'm just like omg i almost cried.
dsfjgdfks thank you so much!!!! :D x
You and him? You're no different. You're exactly the same! ---aaaaaarghh ;)
lolol :P
OMG! i wasn't prepare for something like this now! shock. i have to read more!
Hahaha keep going :D
Thank you!Hahaha welcome, thank you for following me in the first place! :)THANKS!
It just means, Kurt began. "That you don't get to choose who you fall in love with, it just happens, regardless of how different you are, it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it." Best line that i have ever read in anything ever. omg i started following you on tumblr and within minutes u started following me back so um thanks! and wow, your story is absolutely fabulous. you have no idea.. it's 3:41am in the morning here and im still reading it lol. i should stop. soon...
Holy fucking hell is all my mind can come up with right now... Shit! Brilliant!
I could see why this is your favorite chapter.This is a great chapter
Oh my God. My feels. That was perhaps the most powerful chapter ending I've ever read.
Karofsky sucks...poor Kurt
Like it so far :)
Crap! I didn't see Kurt's reaction coming. Oj and fyi I'm rereading this. I had forgotten what happened. Good chapter!